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1
00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:05,333
Chay:
I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF.
2
00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:08,833
IF I GAIN ANY MORE WEIGHT,
IT'S A DEATH SENTENCE.
3
00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:15,567
Man:
I AM LIVING A NIGHTMARE.
4
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:19,367
I WOULDN'T WISH THIS
ON MY WORST ENEMY.
5
00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:22,767
Woman:
I HATE THIS LIFE THAT I HAVE.
6
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:34,033
DON'T YOU DARE
PUT IT ALL OFF ON ME!
7
00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:36,000
LISTEN,
SHE IS GOING TO DIE.
8
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,167
BOTH OF Y'ALL, STOP!
JUST STOP!
9
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,933
Dr. Nowzaradan: WE GOT
TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM.
10
00:00:44,033 --> 00:00:47,567
OTHERWISE, SURGERY
WOULD NOT BE USEFUL FOR YOU.
11
00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,133
[ Voice breaking ]
I CAN'T DO THIS
12
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:52,233
WITHOUT SOMEBODY
TO HELP ME SAY NO.
13
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,267
Chay: WE'RE REALLY DEVASTATED
RIGHT NOW.
14
00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,867
WITH MY GRANDMA GONE,
15
00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,167
I JUST DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THIS.
16
00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:05,833
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com
17
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,533
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
18
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:11,533
YOU NEVER CAN PREDICT
HOW THINGS WILL GO.
19
00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:14,500
BUT THE MORE YOU RUN
FROM THE PAST,
20
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,233
THE HARDER IT IS
TO FACE THE PRESENT.
21
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,300
I HATE MY LIFE.
22
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,600
I'M SO MISERABLE.
23
00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:53,200
I HURT ALL THE TIME.
24
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:58,667
I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.
MY CHEST IS TIGHT.
25
00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:01,933
I CAN'T HARDLY BREATHE.
26
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:06,200
DAY-TO-DAY ACTIVITIES ARE
BECOMING MORE AND MORE WORK.
27
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,133
IT'S SO EXHAUSTING
TO DO ANYTHING.
28
00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:11,633
I GET VERY AGGRAVATED
WITH MYSELF,
29
00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:12,833
BECAUSE I THINK,
30
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,733
"HOW COULD YOU LET IT
GET THIS FAR?"
31
00:02:14,833 --> 00:02:19,500
EVEN TAKING A SHOWER
IS TOO DIFFICULT.
32
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,500
I HAVE TO HAVE A SCRUBBER
ON A HANDLE TO REACH EVERYTHING,
33
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,067
BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T HAVE THAT,
34
00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:26,167
I WOULDN'T BE
ABLE TO WASH EVERYTHING.
35
00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:28,967
I WOULDN'T GET CLEAN
ALL THE WAY.
36
00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:37,933
I'M 23 YEARS OLD,
37
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:41,300
AND I CAN HARDLY
TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ANYMORE.
38
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,533
AND THAT SCARES ME.
39
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:50,867
HOW ARE YOU?
40
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:54,567
I LIVE WITH MY GRANDPARENTS
TO TAKE CARE OF MY GRANDMOTHER.
41
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,667
SHE DEPENDS ON ME,
42
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:05,133
AND I NEED TO BE THERE
FOR HER.
43
00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:06,667
Chay:
SO, YOU FEEL LIKE BREAKFAST?
44
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,900
YEAH, I'M GETTING
KIND OF HUNGRY.
45
00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:13,333
GETS EVER -- OOH!
46
00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:15,133
GOT IT?
47
00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:16,633
YEAH.
48
00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:20,833
Verda: MY GRANDSON --
HE TAKES CARE OF ME,
49
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:25,400
BUT IT'S JUST A HARD, HARD
STRUGGLE FOR HIM.
50
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:29,100
HE'S GETTING TO THE POINT
WHERE HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
51
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,833
Chay: I'M HUNGRY.
52
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:37,167
I DON'T KNOW WHY I WOKE UP
SO HUNGRY TODAY.
53
00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:39,900
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED FOOD.
54
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,300
AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER,
55
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,367
FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE
FOR ME.
56
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,733
CHAY EATS TOO MUCH,
AND PRETTY GOOD-SIZED PORTIONS.
57
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:55,300
AND WE EAT A LOT OF FRIED FOODS.
58
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,300
Chay:
FOOD IS MY COMFORT BLANKET.
59
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,400
WHEN I EAT FOOD,
I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT
60
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,100
IF I'M HURTING
OR IF I'M STRESSED OUT.
61
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,633
I CAN JUST THINK ABOUT THE FOOD.
62
00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:14,933
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED FOOD.
63
00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:18,200
I HAD A VERY DARK CHILDHOOD.
64
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,467
MY MOM AND MY STEPDAD --
THEY WOULD GET DRUNK,
65
00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:24,933
AND THEY WOULD TAKE
THEIR FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON ME.
66
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,133
MY MOTHER TOLD ME
THE ONLY REASON I WAS BORN
67
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:29,033
WAS BECAUSE THE CONDOM BROKE.
68
00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:33,767
THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE
I WAS ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS,
69
00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:37,300
LIKE I SHOULD HAVE
NEVER BEEN BORN.
70
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,767
I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW MANY NIGHTS I PRAYED TO GOD
71
00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:41,267
AND ASKED HIM JUST TO TAKE ME.
72
00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:46,133
I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T BELONG.
I FELT LIKE I WAS A BURDEN.
73
00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:49,567
BUT WHEN I WAS EATING,
I WASN'T HURTING.
74
00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:53,067
Rona: CHAY WAS CHUNKY
WHEN HE WAS LITTLE,
75
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:56,333
BUT, I MEAN, EVEN FIRST GRADE,
YOU COULD SEE, YOU KNOW,
76
00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:59,733
HE WAS BIGGER THAN THE NORM.
77
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:04,600
Chay: I HAVE A LOT OF PAIN
AND ANGER TOWARDS MY MOM.
78
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:10,767
EVERYTHING SHE DID MADE ME FEEL
LIKE NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE ME.
79
00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:12,233
HE TOLD ME, YOU KNOW,
"YOU KNOW, MOM,
80
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:13,967
I HATE IT, YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU WOULD DO THIS,"
81
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:15,600
OR, "MOM, I HATE IT
WHEN YOU WOULD DRINK,"
82
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,700
BECAUSE I WOULD DRINK
EVERY DAY.
83
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:24,067
Chay: SHE USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
TO COPE WITH HER ISSUES,
84
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:27,300
AND WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD,
MY MOTHER WAS ARRESTED.
85
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,967
THAT'S WHEN I CAME TO LIVE
86
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,333
WITH MY GRANDPARENTS
PERMANENTLY.
87
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,400
Verda: I TOLD HIM,
"JUST COME STAY WITH ME."
88
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:37,800
WE WERE JUST GONNA FORGET THIS.
89
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:39,333
IF I COULD DO IT OVER,
90
00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:42,100
I WOULD HAVE TOOK HIM
WHEN HE WAS BORN.
91
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,167
[ SNIFFLES ]
92
00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:45,467
I WOULD HAVE QUIT MY JOB
AND RAISED HIM,
93
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,933
AND I'D HAVE TOOK HIM
WHEN HE WAS BORN.
94
00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:50,933
Jed: YOU KNOW,
WITH HIS MOM GONE A LOT,
95
00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:53,167
HE WAS ABLE TO DO
WHAT HE WANTED TO DO.
96
00:05:53,267 --> 00:05:55,467
HE WAS ABLE TO EAT
WHAT HE WANTED TO EAT.
97
00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:58,967
AND WHEN HE MOVED IN
WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER,
98
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,333
SHE WOULD JUST LET HIM
HAVE WHAT HE WANTED,
99
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,067
AND I THINK THAT'S WHEN
100
00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:07,267
HE REALLY STARTED GAINING
MORE WEIGHT EVEN.
101
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,667
Chay:
FOOD WAS MY COMFORT.
102
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,867
IT WAS THE ONLY THING
THAT MADE ME FEEL BETTER.
103
00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:15,200
IT WAS THE ONLY THING
THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE
104
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,500
EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.
105
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,567
AND 10 POUNDS HERE
LEADS TO 20 POUNDS,
106
00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:21,000
IT LEADS TO 40 POUNDS,
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
107
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:25,300
GEEZ LOUISE, YOU'RE 600 POUNDS.
108
00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:31,000
I'M AFRAID
IN THREE OR FOUR MONTHS,
109
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,600
I'LL BE SO BIG
THAT I CAN'T GO OUT ANYMORE.
110
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:35,533
YES.
111
00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:37,833
OKAY. I'M GONE.
112
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:42,600
I HARDLY GO OUT AS IT IS,
113
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:46,467
BECAUSE I CAN JUST BARELY
FIT BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR.
114
00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,000
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
115
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:51,400
I JUST HATE GOING OUT.
116
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,567
GOING OUT IN PUBLIC MAKES ME
REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
117
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:58,233
THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO HAVE
SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WITH PEOPLE
118
00:06:58,333 --> 00:06:59,433
MAKES ME NERVOUS
119
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:03,033
'CAUSE I NEVER KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SAY.
120
00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:11,100
MY WEIGHT DEFINITELY
MAKES ME A TARGET.
121
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,133
PEOPLE ARE VERY CRUEL.
122
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,933
I DEFINITELY HEAR THE SNICKERS.
123
00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:21,333
ALL EYES ARE ALWAYS ON ME,
AND NOT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
124
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:26,233
BUT I WAS HURT SO MUCH
AS A CHILD
125
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,333
THAT I'VE JUST BUILT UP
SUCH A TOUGH, THICK SKIN,
126
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:33,467
AND PEOPLE'S COMMENTS
DON'T REALLY AFFECT ME.
127
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,933
[ VOCALIZES ]
128
00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:39,167
THIS IS MY FAVORITE SECTION.
IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
129
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,933
FOOD ADDICTION
IS VERY DIFFICULT.
130
00:07:44,033 --> 00:07:47,767
IF YOU'RE ADDICTED TO GAMBLING,
YOU DON'T GO TO CASINOS.
131
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,467
IF YOU'RE ADDICTED
TO CIGARETTES,
132
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,767
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SMOKE.
133
00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:54,300
WITH FOOD, IT'S DIFFERENT.
134
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,867
YOU'RE CONSTANTLY FACED
WITH YOUR VICE.
135
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:01,500
IT'S SO HARD TO STOP,
136
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,233
BECAUSE IT'S HOW I'VE COPED
WITH THINGS ALL MY LIFE.
137
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:05,500
I'D LOVE TO SHOP MORE,
138
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,433
BUT MY FEET
ARE STARTING TO HURT,
139
00:08:07,533 --> 00:08:08,833
AND I'M GETTING
THE HURT SWEATS.
140
00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:10,833
AND ONLY FAT PEOPLE KNOW
WHAT THE HURT SWEATS ARE.
141
00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:13,800
I CAN'T BE ON MY FEET
FOR TOO LONG.
142
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,200
I GET WHAT I CAN AND I GO HOME,
143
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,533
UNTIL I EAT,
AND THE CRAVINGS COME BACK,
144
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:21,567
AND THEN I GO GET SOME MORE.
145
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,800
MY GRANDPARENTS
CAN'T TAKE CARE OF ME,
146
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,967
SO IF I GET TO THE POINT
WHERE I CAN'T GO OUT ANYMORE,
147
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:33,367
THERE WILL BE NO ONE
TO BRING ME FOOD.
148
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,133
[ GRUNTS ]
149
00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:40,400
[ SIGHS ]
150
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:45,533
AFTER ONE TRIP TO THE STORE,
I'M COMPLETELY WORN OUT.
151
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:57,767
BUT THEN I HAVE TO COOK DINNER,
SO I DO IT SITTING DOWN.
152
00:08:57,867 --> 00:09:00,500
I'M GONNA COOK SOME FISH
FOR SUPPER.
153
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,133
CHAY'S JUST ALWAYS HURTING.
154
00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:05,867
HIS HIPS HURT, HIS LEGS HURT,
HIS FEET HURT.
155
00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:07,933
HE HURTS SO BAD, POOR BABY.
156
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:12,400
Chay: I KNOW I HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING RIGHT NOW
157
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:16,100
OR IT'S GONNA GET REALLY BAD
FOR ME.
158
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,400
[ SIGHS ]
159
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:23,567
I KNOW I CAN'T
KEEP GOING LIKE THIS.
160
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:27,267
Verda: I THINK HIS LIFE
HAS COME TO A STOP.
161
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,800
NOTHING IS GOING ON,
162
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,667
AND I THINK
HE'S SHUTTING HIMSELF OFF.
163
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,400
[ GROANS ]
OH, MAN.
164
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,067
Chay:
THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO DO,
165
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,100
BUT I CAN'T CUT MY WEIGHT.
166
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:43,767
I'M 23 YEARS OLD.
167
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:47,067
I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING
WITH MY LIFE.
168
00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:48,933
OH!
169
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,367
I SHOULDN'T BE LIVING
LIKE THIS.
170
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:55,800
IF I GAIN ANY MORE WEIGHT,
IT'S A DEATH SENTENCE.
171
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:56,933
WHAT IS MY FAMILY GONNA DO?
172
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,400
THEY'RE NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO FIND
173
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,567
A COFFIN
BIG ENOUGH TO BURY ME.
174
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,933
AND I KNOW
IF I KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS,
175
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:07,333
I'M NOT GONNA BE ALIVE
MUCH LONGER.
176
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,367
Chay:
HOUSTON IS FOUR HOURS AWAY.
177
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:36,367
YOU READY?
178
00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,467
I'M AS READY
AS I'LL EVER BE.
179
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,167
I'M TOO BIG TO DRIVE MYSELF
THAT FAR.
180
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:43,567
IT WOULD JUST BE TOO PAINFUL.
181
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:46,400
SO I CALLED MY AUNT AND UNCLE
AND SEE IF THEY COULD TAKE ME,
182
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,600
BUT THEY AREN'T ABLE TO.
183
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:51,333
I WAS SURPRISED
MY MOM SAID SHE WOULD.
184
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,867
I LOVE YOU.
185
00:10:52,967 --> 00:10:54,900
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
186
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,700
I USUALLY CAN'T RELY ON HER
AT ALL,
187
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,333
SO I'M NOT SURE
HOW THIS IS GONNA GO.
188
00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:03,333
HE ALREADY CAN'T FIT
IN THAT CAR,
189
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:05,500
SO THAT'S LIKE US
BEING IN A BOX.
190
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:09,000
HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
HE'S GONNA TAKE IT LIKE A CHAMP.
191
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,933
Chay: IF I GET THERE
AND THE DOCTOR DOESN'T HELP ME,
192
00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,500
I'LL BE JUST DEVASTATED.
193
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,367
I HOPE THIS TRIP
ISN'T A WASTE OF TIME.
194
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:29,800
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA
TAKE TO GET THE SURGERY,
195
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,333
AND I'M SCARED
I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT.
196
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,867
Woman:
MR. GUILLORY, CHAY?
197
00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:52,900
[ GASPS ] WOW!
198
00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:58,233
I KNEW I WAS CLOSE
TO 600 POUNDS,
199
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,233
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS THAT CLOSE.
200
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:05,600
[ KNOCKS ]
HELLO.
201
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:06,700
HI, THERE.
202
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,633
SO, YOU'RE OVER 600 POUNDS.
203
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:13,667
TELL ME HOW DO YOU THINK
YOU GOT TO THIS POINT.
204
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,667
THE PROBLEM,
205
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,500
ARE YOU HUNGRY ALL THE TIME
OR WHAT?
206
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,067
I AM HUNGRY
PRETTY OFTEN.
207
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:21,633
I EAT LIKE
TWO MEALS A DAY,
208
00:12:21,733 --> 00:12:23,900
BUT JUST, YOU KNOW,
SNACKING.
209
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,633
WHAT DO YOU SNACK ON?
210
00:12:25,733 --> 00:12:27,633
POTATO CHIPS.
211
00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:28,900
I LOVE POTATOES.
212
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,467
POTATO CHIPS.
OKAY.
213
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:33,133
[ LAUGHS ]
POTATOES ANY KIND OF A WAY.
214
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:34,100
ALL RIGHT.
215
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,400
SO THAT'S YOUR DOWNFALL
IS POTATO.
216
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,700
YEAH. I COULD GIVE MEAT UP
EASIER THAN I COULD POTATOES.
217
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,700
BUT IF IT MEANT
SAVING MY LIFE,
218
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,200
THEN I'D BE WILLING
TO GIVE UP POTATO CHIPS.
219
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,033
WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE THEM UP NOW?
220
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,667
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
221
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:54,433
I'M CONCERNED THAT CHAY
THINKS THAT WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
222
00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:57,033
IS GOING TO SOLVE
ALL HIS PROBLEMS.
223
00:12:57,133 --> 00:13:00,167
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T SNACK
BETWEEN YOUR MEALS?
224
00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:02,933
IF I DIDN'T SNACK
BETWEEN MY MEALS,
225
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,467
I'D PROBABLY BE
MORE SUCCESSFUL.
226
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:09,200
SO WHY DO YOU NEED TO SNACK
BETWEEN THEM?
227
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:12,200
IT'S MORE
OF AN EMOTIONAL CRUTCH.
228
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,300
HAVE YOU TRIED TO CHANGE
YOUR EATING HABIT?
229
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,633
I HAVE IN THE PAST.
YES, I'VE TRIED OFF AND ON.
230
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:20,200
IT'S WHEN, LIKE,
THINGS DON'T WORK
231
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,933
AND YOU GET DISCOURAGED,
232
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,900
IT'S LIKE YOU
JUST KIND OF GIVE UP.
233
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,933
SO YOU THINK
GASTRIC BYPASS
234
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:29,033
WILL BE THE ONLY SOLUTION
FOR YOU TO CONTROL
235
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,533
YOUR EATING HABIT?
YES, SIR.
236
00:13:30,633 --> 00:13:34,367
BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA EAT
POTATO CHIPS AFTER SURGERY,
237
00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:36,133
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
LOSE WEIGHT EITHER.
238
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:40,967
HE SEES THIS AS A QUICK FIX,
AND THAT'S NOT GOOD.
239
00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:44,200
YOU'RE USING FOOD
TO COPE WITH LIFE,
240
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:47,433
AND THAT IS A CORE ISSUE
THAT YOU NEED TO ADDRESS.
241
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:50,433
SO I WANT TO SEE YOU
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EATING
242
00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:52,300
BEFORE WE DO
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.
243
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,367
I WANT YOU TO LOSE 40 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS.
244
00:13:57,467 --> 00:13:58,533
ALL RIGHT.
245
00:13:58,633 --> 00:13:59,633
SEE YOU SOON.
246
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:02,833
SURGERY WOULD ONLY HELP
IN THE SHORT TERM
247
00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:04,800
IF CHAY DOESN'T LEARN
HOW TO CONTROL
248
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,300
HIS DEPENDENCY ON FOOD.
249
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,133
[ SIGHS ]
250
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,467
HOPEFULLY,
WHEN I SEE HIM NEXT TIME,
251
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,600
HE WILL HAVE LOST WEIGHT.
252
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,200
IF NOT, CHAY WILL NOT GET
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.
253
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,300
Chay: I KNOW
I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE
254
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,867
A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT MY DIET
255
00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:20,867
IN ORDER
FOR THIS TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
256
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:23,233
IF I DON'T DO THIS NOW,
257
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:28,433
IF I DON'T CONVINCE HIM
AND GET HIM TO BELIEVE IN ME,
258
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:32,200
I'M AS GOOD AS DEAD
AT THIS POINT.
259
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,467
Bodie: ARE YOU ABLE TO BEND
YOUR KNEES?
260
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:42,633
LIKE IN THIS TYPE OF WAY?
[ LAUGHS ]
261
00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:45,067
OKAY, SO, NO.
YOU CAN'T DO LUNGES AT ALL?
262
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,767
NO, NOT WITH
MY BAD KNEES.
263
00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:48,133
OKAY.
264
00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:50,567
I KNOW I HAVE TO GET SERIOUS
IF I'M GONNA HAVE A CHANCE
265
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,633
AT LOSING 40 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS.
266
00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:56,800
MAKE SURE I'M NOT GONNA
BUST THROUGH THE PANELING.
267
00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:01,033
MY COUSIN BODIE
IS TRYING TO HELP ME
268
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,867
GET MORE ACTIVE
SO I CAN START LOSING WEIGHT.
269
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,500
WE NEED TO GO JOG.
WE'RE GONNA DO A BLOCK, OKAY?
270
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,333
CHAY'S GONNA WALK.
YOU CAN JOG.
271
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:09,133
WHATEVER.
WALK AT A FAST PACE.
272
00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:10,233
THIS IS MY PACE.
273
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,833
NOPE.
274
00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:16,800
BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK
THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA.
275
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,267
I'M GONNA GIVE US
FIVE MINUTES.
276
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:21,367
THIS ISN'T A LAZY STROLL
THROUGH THE PARK.
277
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,867
THIS IS AS FAST
AS I CAN GO.
278
00:15:22,967 --> 00:15:25,067
OH, I HEAR EXCUSES.
279
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,933
I DON'T THINK
MY COUSIN UNDERSTANDS
280
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:28,367
JUST HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME.
281
00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:29,967
PUT SOME KNEE GREASE
INTO IT.
282
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,000
MY KNEE GREASE
HAS ALL BEEN FRIED DOWN.
283
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:35,100
MOVING MY BODY OF 600 POUNDS --
284
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,600
IT'S A LOT,
AND IT'S EXCRUCIATING TO GO FAR.
285
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,367
AND BACK.
COME ON.
286
00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:42,900
PICK UP THE PACE
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
287
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000
THE ONLY REASON I'M WILLING
TO PUSH THROUGH AND DO THIS
288
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,333
IS I KNOW WHAT'S RIDING ON ME
BEING SUCCESSFUL.
289
00:15:49,433 --> 00:15:51,267
BACK INSIDE!
290
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,700
I NEED TO DO THIS.
291
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,367
I WANT TO GET MY LIFE BACK.
292
00:15:56,467 --> 00:16:00,567
AND I KNOW THIS
IS WHERE IT STARTS.
293
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:03,100
BEHIND THE HEAD.
TRY TO TOUCH THE OTHER SHOULDER.
294
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,767
THERE YOU GO.
NOW YOU'RE FLEXING.
295
00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:06,600
SEVEN.
296
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,067
I'VE ALSO BEEN EATING BETTER.
297
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,267
IT'S HARD, THOUGH.
298
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:14,567
I REALLY LIKE FOOD.
299
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,000
A LITTLE EXTRA FLEX.
300
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,267
SO, IF I DON'T GET
THIS SURGERY,
301
00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:22,200
I KNOW I WON'T
BE ABLE TO KEEP DOING THIS.
302
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,000
MY WHOLE LIFE
DEPENDS ON THIS.
303
00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:37,500
I NEED TO GO TO THE STORE.
YOU CAN GO TOMORROW.
304
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,000
YEAH.
305
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:42,133
I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD,
306
00:16:42,233 --> 00:16:44,433
BUT IT'S BEEN TOUGH
FOR THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS.
307
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,433
MY GRANDMA
HASN'T BEEN FEELING WELL,
308
00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:52,067
AND SHE'S GETTING OLDER,
AND I WORRY ABOUT HER.
309
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,900
THAT STRESSES ME OUT.
310
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,667
AND WHEN I'M STRESSED, I EAT.
311
00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:02,367
Chay: I GOT FIVE
LITTLE BUTTON MUSHROOMS
312
00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,867
STUFFED WITH CRAB MEAT,
313
00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,200
AND I GOT MINE BROILED
WITH NO CLARIFIED BUTTER.
314
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,867
I'VE MADE SOME MISTAKES
315
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,733
AND EATEN SOME THINGS
I SHOULDN'T HAVE.
316
00:17:10,833 --> 00:17:14,200
FOOD IS WHAT I'VE KNOWN.
317
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,833
IT'S WHAT COMFORTED ME.
318
00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:18,967
SO IT'S HARD NOT TO TRY
AND GET THAT COMFORT.
319
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:21,867
Verda:
I WANT THIS REALLY BAD FOR HIM.
320
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:23,033
HE NEEDS THIS.
321
00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:24,667
AND I THINK HE'S AT THE POINT
322
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:27,133
WHERE HE'LL DO
WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO GET IT.
323
00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:29,000
Chay:
MY GRANDMA HAS BEEN
324
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:33,233
MY BIGGEST SUPPORTER
FOR LOSING WEIGHT,
325
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:37,233
SO I'M GONNA KEEP TRYING
AS HARD AS I CAN TO DO THIS.
326
00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:41,467
I DON'T WANT TO LET HER DOWN.
327
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:10,300
I'M REALLY DEVASTATED RIGHT NOW.
328
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,033
MY GRANDMA SUFFERED
A HEART ATTACK,
329
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,967
AND THERE WAS NOTHING
ANYBODY COULD DO ABOUT IT.
330
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:27,367
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S GONE.
331
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:30,500
IT DOESN'T FEEL REAL RIGHT NOW.
332
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,700
LET ME PRAY.
333
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,100
FATHER, WE THANK YOU
FOR HER LIFE,
334
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,833
THANK YOU FOR HER FAMILY.
335
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:46,900
GOD, MAY WE ALL LEARN FROM HER.
336
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,233
AND WE PRAY IT IN JESUS' NAME.
337
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:49,267
AMEN.
338
00:18:49,367 --> 00:18:51,167
CHAY.
339
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:57,300
Chay: WE COULD NOT HAVE ASKED
FOR A BETTER GRANDMOTHER.
340
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,800
SHE WILL BE SO GREATLY MISSED
BY ALL WHO KNEW HER.
341
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,400
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN
342
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:05,267
A MORE LOVING, KIND,
AND COMPASSIONATE WOMAN.
343
00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:09,300
OUR HEARTS ARE BROKEN
AND OUR SOULS FULL OF SORROW.
344
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:14,033
WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, DUKE,
FROM HERE TO THE MOON AND BACK.
345
00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:20,133
MY GRANDMA WAS MY INSPIRATION.
346
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,533
IT'S HARD TO PICTURE
GOING FORWARD
347
00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:24,167
AND HER NOT BEING THERE.
348
00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:28,000
SHE WAS A BIG PART OF WHY
I WAS TRYING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT.
349
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,267
NOW THAT SHE'S GONE,
350
00:19:30,367 --> 00:19:33,167
I JUST DON'T THINK
THAT I CAN DO IT.
351
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:36,900
Man: GOD BLESS YOU.
THIS WILL CONCLUDE OUR SERVICE.
352
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,500
Chay:
I'M JUST SO LOST RIGHT NOW,
353
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,500
AND FOOD IS MY COMFORT.
354
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:49,067
I WANT TO EAT SO BAD RIGHT NOW.
355
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:55,633
Cindy:
I THINK CHAY'S GONNA FALL APART.
356
00:19:55,733 --> 00:19:57,333
MAMA WAS LIKE CHAY'S MAMA.
357
00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,967
WHEN HE CALLED ME,
HE COULDN'T EVEN SPEAK,
358
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,767
AND HE JUST COULD NOT TALK.
359
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:07,500
Chay:
I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO STOP.
360
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,000
I'M DONE TRYING.
361
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:12,333
I'M DONE WITH ALL OF IT.
362
00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:16,000
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY
I KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
363
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,767
Chay: RUNNING FROM THE DARKNESS
OF YOUR PAST
364
00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:31,067
WILL CAST A GREAT SHADOW
OVER THE LIGHT OF THE PRESENT.
365
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:58,533
THIS HAS BEEN
THE WORST MONTH OF MY LIFE.
366
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,567
MY GRANDMA
WAS A BIG PART OF MY WORLD.
367
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,900
NOW THAT SHE'S GONE,
368
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,933
I JUST DON'T HAVE MUCH DRIVE
TO TRY AND DO A LOT.
369
00:21:13,033 --> 00:21:16,433
[ Voice breaking ] I JUST WANTED
TO HAVE HER A LONG TIME.
370
00:21:16,533 --> 00:21:19,667
23 YEARS WASN'T LONG ENOUGH.
371
00:21:19,767 --> 00:21:24,933
I WANTED HER TO SEE ME
GRADUATE COLLEGE
372
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,467
AND ACHIEVE SO MANY THINGS.
373
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:31,333
I WANTED HER TO BE THERE
WITH ME.
374
00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:36,167
BUT NOW ALL I HAVE LEFT
IS MEMORIES.
375
00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:43,000
FOOD IS THE ONLY THING
BRINGING ME
376
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:46,133
ANY SORT OF COMFORT RIGHT NOW,
377
00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:48,600
SO I'M NOT
ABOUT TO GIVE THAT UP.
378
00:21:52,633 --> 00:21:57,933
NO ONE BELIEVED IN ME
LIKE MY GRANDMA DID.
379
00:21:58,033 --> 00:22:00,867
SHE CHEERED ME ON,
AND SHE'S GONE NOW.
380
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:06,700
I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT HER,
381
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,667
AND I DON'T REALLY CARE
ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT.
382
00:22:10,767 --> 00:22:14,567
I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO STOP.
383
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:31,067
MY AUNT AND UNCLE
HAVE BEEN CALLING ME.
384
00:22:31,167 --> 00:22:32,333
THEY'VE BEEN TELLING ME
385
00:22:32,433 --> 00:22:34,333
HOW MY GRANDMA
WOULD HAVE WANTED ME
386
00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:36,433
TO KEEP TRYING
AND TO GET HEALTHY.
387
00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:44,067
I KNOW SHE WOULDN'T WANT ME
TO GIVE UP,
388
00:22:44,167 --> 00:22:48,333
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT
ANY EASIER.
389
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,500
IT'S BEEN NICE HAVING
390
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,467
SOME ENCOURAGEMENT
FROM MY AUNT AND UNCLE.
391
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:55,300
SO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BUY
SOME HEALTHIER STUFF.
392
00:22:58,133 --> 00:23:00,367
I'M NOT REALLY SURE
WHAT TO GET.
393
00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:05,100
I'M JUST TRYING TO RESIST
TEMPTATION.
394
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,667
IT'S JUST REALLY HARD --
395
00:23:06,767 --> 00:23:08,900
A LOT HARDER
THAN I EVER THOUGHT.
396
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,333
I JUST HOPE I CAN DO IT.
397
00:23:16,967 --> 00:23:19,400
I'M GOING TO SEE
MY AUNT AND UNCLE SOON.
398
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:20,933
THEY SAID THEY'LL HELP ME
399
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:24,067
AND THEY'LL TAKE ME
TO THE DOCTOR IF I GO BACK.
400
00:23:24,167 --> 00:23:25,933
HI, THERE.
401
00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:30,033
I'M GONNA TRY MY BEST
OVER THE NEXT MONTH.
402
00:23:30,133 --> 00:23:34,900
BUT THIS IS GONNA BE TOUGHER
THAN I EVER IMAGINED.
403
00:23:51,133 --> 00:23:53,200
Jed:
OH, LOOK AT THEM ONION RINGS.
404
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:55,200
THAT'S A BRACELET.
[ LAUGHS ]
405
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,400
THANK YOU.
406
00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:59,133
Man: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
I CAN GRAB FOR YOU GUYS?
407
00:23:59,233 --> 00:24:01,967
Chay: IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD
TO STICK TO EATING HEALTHY,
408
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,700
BUT I'VE BEEN LEARNING
TO SAY NO.
409
00:24:07,267 --> 00:24:08,833
NOT ALL THE TIME,
410
00:24:08,933 --> 00:24:12,333
BUT HOPEFULLY ENOUGH
TO LOSE WEIGHT.
411
00:24:15,967 --> 00:24:18,267
I'M SO THANKFUL
THAT MY AUNT AND UNCLE
412
00:24:18,367 --> 00:24:21,500
HAVE BEEN SUPPORTING ME
SO MUCH TO DO THIS.
413
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,933
IT'S MEANT A LOT TO ME
TO HAVE THEM THERE.
414
00:24:25,033 --> 00:24:26,700
Rona: WE'RE TRYING TO HELP HIM
STAY STRONG.
415
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,967
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME
TO SEE HIM SUCCEED.
416
00:24:30,067 --> 00:24:31,433
YOU GUYS ENJOY.
417
00:24:31,533 --> 00:24:33,600
THANK YOU.
418
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:37,667
Chay: I JUST WANT TO MAKE
EVERYONE PROUD.
419
00:24:40,033 --> 00:24:42,367
[ LAUGHS ]
420
00:24:42,467 --> 00:24:44,267
Jed: HE DID GOOD.
421
00:24:44,367 --> 00:24:47,333
HE ENDED UP JUST ORDERING
A STEAK, PROTEIN.
422
00:24:47,433 --> 00:24:50,833
HE DIDN'T ORDER A DESSERT,
SO HE DID GOOD.
423
00:24:50,933 --> 00:24:53,733
Chay:
I SEE THE DOCTOR VERY SOON,
424
00:24:53,833 --> 00:24:57,533
AND I FIND OUT
IF I'M GOING TO GET THE SURGERY
425
00:24:57,633 --> 00:25:00,433
OR IF I'M JUST HOPELESS.
426
00:25:06,633 --> 00:25:08,267
[ KNOCK AT DOOR ]
427
00:25:08,367 --> 00:25:10,267
COME IN.
428
00:25:10,367 --> 00:25:11,500
HEY.
HEY.
429
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,100
SO, HOW YOU DOING?
430
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,833
OH, JUST PACKING UP.
431
00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:17,833
Chay: TODAY, WE'RE HEADED
BACK TO HOUSTON
432
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,900
TO SEE THE DOCTOR AGAIN.
433
00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:26,067
I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW
434
00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:27,833
TO FIND OUT HOW I'VE DONE
435
00:25:27,933 --> 00:25:30,367
AND WHETHER I'M GETTING
THE SURGERY.
436
00:25:30,467 --> 00:25:32,667
I HAVE BEEN TRYING.
437
00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:36,000
BUT SATURDAYS IS MY CHEAT DAY.
438
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:39,400
I EAT A MEAL I WOULDN'T NORMALLY
EAT DURING THE WEEK.
439
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:42,033
LIKE IF I'M JONESING
FOR A HAMBURGER --
440
00:25:42,133 --> 00:25:43,467
YOU CHEAT JUST ONE MEAL,
OR...?
441
00:25:43,567 --> 00:25:45,000
PRETTY MUCH, YEAH,
JUST ONE MEAL.
442
00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:49,167
OR IF I WANT SOME ICE CREAM,
I'LL EAT SOME ICE CREAM.
443
00:25:49,267 --> 00:25:51,600
'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T
ALLOW YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT
444
00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,933
EVERY NOW AND AGAIN,
YOU END UP BINGEING.
445
00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:57,967
AND WE ARE HERE.
446
00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:03,833
[ SIGHS ]
447
00:26:03,933 --> 00:26:04,933
YEAH.
448
00:26:05,033 --> 00:26:06,633
IF I FAIL AT THIS,
449
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:10,900
IT WILL BE ONE OF THE WORST
FAILURES OF MY LIFE.
450
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:17,367
EVERYTHING IS DEPENDING ON
WHAT THE SCALE SAYS RIGHT NOW.
451
00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:47,400
Chay: I'M REALLY NERVOUS
TO FIND OUT HOW I'VE DONE.
452
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,700
I'VE HARDLY LOST.
453
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,133
[ SIGHS ]
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
454
00:26:55,233 --> 00:26:57,533
I THOUGHT I HAD DONE
SO MUCH BETTER.
455
00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:03,600
HELLO.
456
00:27:03,700 --> 00:27:05,000
HI, THERE.
457
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:06,267
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
458
00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:08,667
SO, IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS,
459
00:27:08,767 --> 00:27:10,767
AND YOU HAVE LOST
ALMOST NO WEIGHT.
460
00:27:10,867 --> 00:27:12,200
WHY IS THAT?
461
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:15,700
I MEAN, I JUST TRIED TO STICK
TO THE DIET AS BEST AS POSSIBLE,
462
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,467
EATING RIGHT.
463
00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:19,000
THIS DOESN'T MAKE
ANY SENSE AT ALL.
464
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:21,933
THE REALITY
IS THAT YOU'RE EATING TOO MUCH,
465
00:27:22,033 --> 00:27:22,933
PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
466
00:27:23,033 --> 00:27:24,633
WELL,
I'VE BEEN EATING LOW-CARB.
467
00:27:24,733 --> 00:27:26,667
I EVEN STARTED MAKING
MY OWN WHEAT BREAD
468
00:27:26,767 --> 00:27:28,600
SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO EAT
WHITE BREAD.
469
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:32,267
OKAY, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
WHEAT BREAD AND WHITE BREAD
470
00:27:32,367 --> 00:27:34,133
HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT
OF CALORIES.
471
00:27:34,233 --> 00:27:35,433
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
472
00:27:35,533 --> 00:27:39,433
CHAY'S NOT AT A PLACE
TO CONTROL HIS EATING HABIT.
473
00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:42,100
THIS IS WHAT I WAS
CONCERNED ABOUT.
474
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,200
AND THAT MEANS
HE'S JUST NOT READY FOR SURGERY.
475
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:47,333
YOU'RE NOT
TAKING IT SERIOUS.
476
00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:48,533
YES, I AM.
477
00:27:48,633 --> 00:27:50,300
THIS IS NOT GONNA BE EASY
ON YOU.
478
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,467
EVEN IF YOU GET THE SURGERY,
IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY.
479
00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:53,833
I KNOW
IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY.
480
00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,033
I KNOW THAT.
YOU'RE JUST UPSET.
481
00:27:56,133 --> 00:28:01,100
CLEARLY, THE PROBLEM
ISN'T JUST A PHYSICAL PROBLEM.
482
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,867
MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY
VERY SUDDENLY,
483
00:28:02,967 --> 00:28:07,233
AND THEN, SO MY EATING
IS FOR EMOTIONAL REASONS, TOO.
484
00:28:07,333 --> 00:28:11,400
CHAY, LIFE IS FULL OF STRESS,
AND LOSING SOMEONE IS HORRIBLE.
485
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,867
BUT THERE IS NO EXCUSE
GOOD ENOUGH
486
00:28:14,967 --> 00:28:16,433
TO LIVE LIKE YOU ARE.
487
00:28:16,533 --> 00:28:19,233
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
488
00:28:19,333 --> 00:28:24,233
HE'S USING STRESS AND EMOTION
AS AN EXCUSE TO EAT.
489
00:28:24,333 --> 00:28:26,933
EVERYONE HAS THESE THINGS
IN THEIR LIFE.
490
00:28:27,033 --> 00:28:30,400
YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DEAL
WITH THEM IN A HEALTHY WAY.
491
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:34,000
CHAY, I WANT YOU TO LOSE
AT LEAST 30 POUNDS
492
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:35,833
OVER THE NEXT
COUPLE MONTHS.
493
00:28:35,933 --> 00:28:38,267
AND I'M GOING TO SEND YOU
TO A THERAPIST
494
00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:40,100
TO HELP YOU
WITH THIS, OKAY?
495
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,367
ALL RIGHT?
WE'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER.
496
00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:43,600
THANK YOU.
OKAY.
497
00:28:45,133 --> 00:28:46,567
I WASTED MY TIME
IS WHAT I DID.
498
00:28:46,667 --> 00:28:48,600
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
YOU'RE JUST DISAPPOINTED.
499
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,400
THAT'S ALL.
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED --
500
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:51,767
I'M AGGRAVATED
IS WHAT I AM.
501
00:28:51,867 --> 00:28:53,100
WELL,
ARE YOU GONNA GIVE UP?
502
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,833
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
NO, YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP.
503
00:28:55,933 --> 00:28:57,233
WHATEVER.
504
00:28:57,333 --> 00:29:01,900
Chay: THE DOCTOR DOESN'T GET
HOW HARD THIS ALL HAS BEEN.
505
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,900
IF I WORKED THAT HARD
FOR THAT LITTLE RESULT,
506
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,267
MAYBE IT JUST ISN'T WORTH IT.
507
00:29:09,367 --> 00:29:12,433
MAYBE I'M JUST NOT MADE
TO DO THIS.
508
00:29:35,367 --> 00:29:37,233
I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO EXPECT.
509
00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:41,600
I'M HOPING THIS THERAPIST
CAN HELP ME.
510
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,167
I KNOW FOOD IS STILL MY COMFORT,
511
00:29:44,267 --> 00:29:47,233
AND THAT I HAVE TO BREAK FREE
OF THAT.
512
00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:50,567
I FEEL LIKE NOTHING I DO
WILL HELP WITH THE CRAVINGS,
513
00:29:50,667 --> 00:29:53,833
AND IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME
BEFORE I GIVE IN.
514
00:29:53,933 --> 00:29:55,000
HI, THERE.
Chay: HI, THERE.
515
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:56,633
HI, CHAY, I'M STEPHANIE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
516
00:29:56,733 --> 00:29:57,800
NICE TO MEET YOU.
517
00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,433
COME ON BACK.
OKAY.
518
00:30:00,533 --> 00:30:03,900
WHAT WOULD BE KIND OF LIKE
THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING
519
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,800
THAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT
IN THE TIME THAT WE HAVE TODAY?
520
00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:09,133
AS A CHILD,
521
00:30:09,233 --> 00:30:12,067
I GREW UP IN A VERY
EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD.
522
00:30:12,167 --> 00:30:13,067
OH, WOW.
523
00:30:13,167 --> 00:30:15,167
I MEAN, I HAD A MOTHER
524
00:30:15,267 --> 00:30:17,233
WHO WAS AN ALCOHOLIC
AND A DRUG ADDICT.
525
00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:19,367
I HAD A STEPFATHER
WHO WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.
526
00:30:19,467 --> 00:30:21,167
AND SO MY GRANDMOTHER
RAISED ME.
527
00:30:21,267 --> 00:30:22,333
OH, WOW. OKAY.
528
00:30:22,433 --> 00:30:24,233
AND SHE WAS MORE MY MOTHER
THAN MY GRANDMOTHER.
529
00:30:24,333 --> 00:30:26,233
IN DECEMBER,
MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY.
530
00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:27,300
OH, WOW.
I'M SORRY.
531
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,900
YOU GUYS WERE VERY CLOSE.
YES.
532
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,267
AND I REPLAY
THE NIGHT SHE DIED,
533
00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:32,733
'CAUSE I'M THE ONE
WHO CALLED 911.
534
00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:35,000
AND, YOU KNOW, I DROVE
MY GRANDPA TO THE HOSPITAL,
535
00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:37,633
AND THAT'S WHERE WE FOUND OUT
SHE PASSED AWAY.
536
00:30:37,733 --> 00:30:40,067
I LAY IN BED, AND THOSE SCENES
REPLAY IN MY MIND.
537
00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:41,200
OKAY.
538
00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:44,833
SO I JUST BOTTLE IT UP,
AND THEN I EAT.
539
00:30:44,933 --> 00:30:46,833
YOU'VE MADE
A REALLY HUGE DECISION
540
00:30:46,933 --> 00:30:48,867
TO ADDRESS SOME THINGS
PHYSICALLY.
541
00:30:48,967 --> 00:30:49,967
AND AS YOU DO THAT,
542
00:30:50,067 --> 00:30:52,167
IT'S GONNA BRING UP STUFF
EMOTIONALLY.
543
00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,933
AND WE'VE GOT TO BE
ABLE TO RECOGNIZE, ONE,
544
00:30:55,033 --> 00:30:56,567
WHAT ARE THOSE EMOTIONS?
545
00:30:56,667 --> 00:30:58,267
WHAT ARE THE EMOTIONS
I'M FEELING?
546
00:30:58,367 --> 00:31:00,867
BUT, THEN, IT'S WHAT DO I DO
WITH THESE EMOTIONS?
547
00:31:00,967 --> 00:31:02,067
ANXIETY, TENSION BUILDS.
548
00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:04,333
I KIND OF HAVE MY DRUG
OR BEHAVIOR OF CHOICE,
549
00:31:04,433 --> 00:31:05,900
WHICH IN THIS CASE
IS EATING.
550
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,200
THE IMPORTANT THING
TO RECOGNIZE
551
00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:09,033
IS THAT THE FEELINGS
ARE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE.
552
00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:11,567
YOU SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE
WHAT YOU'RE FEELING
553
00:31:11,667 --> 00:31:13,133
AND THEN LET IT OUT.
I'M TRYING
554
00:31:13,233 --> 00:31:19,133
AND WILL TAKE CONTROL
OF MY HEALTH AND MY WELL-BEING.
555
00:31:19,233 --> 00:31:20,500
GOOD.
556
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,967
THIS IS THE FIRST STEP.
557
00:31:22,067 --> 00:31:24,433
WELL, I WISH YOU
ALL THE BEST IN IT.
558
00:31:24,533 --> 00:31:25,500
THANK YOU.
559
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,800
[ LAUGHS ]
560
00:31:26,900 --> 00:31:28,667
WE SHALL
SEE EACH OTHER SOON.
561
00:31:28,767 --> 00:31:30,467
OH, MOST DEFINITELY.
562
00:31:30,567 --> 00:31:32,167
BYE.
563
00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:33,500
BYE-BYE.
564
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,233
I THOUGHT FOOD WAS HELPING ME
GET THROUGH ALL THE PAIN,
565
00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:40,533
BUT IT'S LIKE
JUST STORING IT UP FOREVER.
566
00:31:40,633 --> 00:31:42,633
AND IF I DON'T DEAL WITH IT,
567
00:31:42,733 --> 00:31:45,900
THE CRAVINGS
ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE.
568
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,433
I'M GLAD I CAME TODAY.
569
00:31:47,533 --> 00:31:50,367
I KNOW I HAVE TO START DEALING
WITH IT ALL.
570
00:31:50,467 --> 00:31:53,300
I HAVE TO BE ALL-IN.
571
00:32:00,867 --> 00:32:03,700
I'VE DECIDED NO MORE EXCUSES.
572
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,267
IF I'M GONNA DO THIS,
I NEED TO DO IT 100%.
573
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,200
I'M GONNA FIGHT FOR THIS.
574
00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,700
WE'RE GONNA START
WITH A SAMPLE WARM-UP.
575
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:15,767
OKAY.
576
00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:17,467
SO WE'LL GO AHEAD
AND STEP UP HERE.
577
00:32:17,567 --> 00:32:19,933
THERE YOU GO.
578
00:32:20,033 --> 00:32:21,767
ALL RIGHT.
579
00:32:21,867 --> 00:32:24,333
HOW ARE YOU FEELING
AT THIS POINT?
580
00:32:24,433 --> 00:32:25,533
GOOD.
GOOD.
581
00:32:25,633 --> 00:32:26,800
ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA HEAD ON OVER HERE.
582
00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:29,567
WE'RE GONNA DO 15 REPS,
OKAY?
583
00:32:29,667 --> 00:32:33,133
SO INHALE, EXHALE.
584
00:32:33,233 --> 00:32:35,067
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
585
00:32:35,167 --> 00:32:37,433
[ Voice breaking ]
WATCHING CHAY GOT ME EMOTIONAL.
586
00:32:37,533 --> 00:32:38,900
YOU KNOW, IT DID.
587
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,700
AND I CAN ENVISION
IN THE FUTURE,
588
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,367
YOU KNOW,
JUST SEEING HIM IN SHAPE.
589
00:32:44,467 --> 00:32:46,233
THERE YOU GO.
PERFECT.
590
00:32:46,333 --> 00:32:47,633
WE'RE GONNA DO 15.
591
00:32:47,733 --> 00:32:50,967
I'M SEEING A CHANGE IN HIM
MENTALLY ALREADY.
592
00:32:51,067 --> 00:32:52,833
FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK
UP SOME STAIRS
593
00:32:52,933 --> 00:32:53,967
TO DO WHAT HE DID TODAY --
594
00:32:54,067 --> 00:32:56,300
MAN, THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.
595
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,900
GOOD. GOOD JOB.
THERE YOU GO.
596
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,367
MAN, GOOD WORK.
THANK YOU.
597
00:33:00,467 --> 00:33:02,833
THAT'S IT FOR THE DAY.
OKEYDOKEY.
598
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,933
Chay: I'M READY
TO TAKE MY LIFE BACK.
599
00:33:06,033 --> 00:33:07,967
I NEED TO FIGHT
TO GET TO A PLACE
600
00:33:08,067 --> 00:33:10,633
WHERE I CAN GET A JOB
AND GET MY OWN APARTMENT
601
00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:15,100
AND WHERE A 23-YEAR-OLD LIKE ME
CAN START TO LIVE LIKE ONE.
602
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,967
I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING A LOT.
603
00:33:18,067 --> 00:33:21,633
I JUST HOPE IT'S ENOUGH
TO FINALLY GET THE SURGERY.
604
00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:24,433
Jed:
YOU WERE SWEATING, BUDDY.
605
00:33:30,333 --> 00:33:31,833
Woman: MR. GUILLORY.
606
00:33:31,933 --> 00:33:35,700
I'M REALLY ANXIOUS.
607
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,300
I NEED TO KNOW
IF I'M GONNA GET THIS SURGERY.
608
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:43,067
MY WEIGHT HAS TO BE DOWN
TO AT LEAST 550 POUNDS
609
00:33:43,167 --> 00:33:44,867
FOR HIM TO APPROVE ME,
610
00:33:44,967 --> 00:33:50,133
AND THIS MAY BE MY LAST CHANCE
TO GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.
611
00:34:10,533 --> 00:34:13,967
Chay: EVERYTHING IS RIDING
ON THIS WEIGH-IN.
612
00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:17,800
Rona: THAT'S CRAZY.
613
00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:20,133
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW MUCH I'VE LOST.
614
00:34:20,233 --> 00:34:23,300
I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF.
615
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,300
[ KNOCKS ]
HELLO.
616
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,567
HI, THERE.
HEY, DOCTOR.
617
00:34:25,667 --> 00:34:26,667
HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING?
618
00:34:26,767 --> 00:34:27,667
GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
619
00:34:27,767 --> 00:34:28,767
ALL RIGHT.
620
00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:31,967
I SEE YOU DID GREAT
WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS.
621
00:34:32,067 --> 00:34:34,133
I FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE READY FOR SURGERY.
622
00:34:34,233 --> 00:34:35,167
[ LAUGHTER ]
623
00:34:35,267 --> 00:34:37,300
Dr. Nowzaradan:
CHAY HAS DONE WELL
624
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,200
OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS.
625
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:41,700
HE'S NOT RUNNING TO FOOD
TO DEAL WITH HIS EMOTIONS.
626
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,067
THAT'S GOOD PROGRESS.
627
00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:46,300
SO I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD
AND SCHEDULE IT.
628
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:47,567
OKEYDOKEY.
629
00:34:47,667 --> 00:34:48,733
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
630
00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:50,367
Rona: THANK YOU.
631
00:34:51,767 --> 00:34:54,400
[ LAUGHTER ]
632
00:34:54,500 --> 00:34:57,767
Dr. Nowzaradan: HE HAS
A LONG JOURNEY AHEAD OF HIM,
633
00:34:57,867 --> 00:35:01,400
AND ALL THESE ISSUES AREN'T
GOING TO GO AWAY OVERNIGHT.
634
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,933
IT WILL BE A PROCESS,
635
00:35:04,033 --> 00:35:05,767
BUT RIGHT NOW,
THE IMPORTANT THING
636
00:35:05,867 --> 00:35:06,933
IS HE'S READY TO START.
637
00:35:07,033 --> 00:35:08,800
Chay:
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
638
00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:12,433
I KNOW MY GRANDMA
WOULD BE SO PROUD OF ME.
639
00:35:12,533 --> 00:35:14,500
I'M JUST SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW.
640
00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:32,400
Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY,
WE'RE DOING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
641
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:33,767
ON CHAY.
642
00:35:33,867 --> 00:35:36,133
THERE'S ALWAYS A CONCERN
643
00:35:36,233 --> 00:35:38,167
WHEN DEALING
WITH A PATIENT THIS SIZE.
644
00:35:47,067 --> 00:35:48,600
TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.
645
00:35:52,067 --> 00:35:55,267
THIS SURGERY
IS A REALLY BIG STEP FOR CHAY,
646
00:35:55,367 --> 00:35:58,300
BUT I'M SCARED
THAT HE WON'T WAKE UP.
647
00:36:13,933 --> 00:36:16,267
ALL RIGHT.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.
648
00:36:16,367 --> 00:36:18,800
ROOM LIGHT ON.
649
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:21,833
CHAY'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.
650
00:36:21,933 --> 00:36:25,167
HE WILL BE IN THE RECOVERY ROOM
FOR A BIT.
651
00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:28,333
WE'LL GET HIM HOME,
652
00:36:28,433 --> 00:36:31,500
AND HE CAN KEEP MAKING PROGRESS
FROM THERE.
653
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,167
HE SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM
654
00:36:34,267 --> 00:36:38,200
LOSING AROUND 20 POUNDS A MONTH
FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS.
655
00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:42,600
THE BIG FACTOR
IS GOING TO BE TO MAKE SURE
656
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:47,233
HE KEEPS DEALING WITH
HIS EMOTION IN A HEALTHY WAY.
657
00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:51,233
WE HAVE TO WATCH HIM
AND SEE HOW HE DOES.
658
00:37:03,333 --> 00:37:06,867
Chay: IT'S BEEN
A TOUGH COUPLE OF DAYS.
659
00:37:06,967 --> 00:37:11,333
MY MOM HASN'T COME TO VISIT ME.
660
00:37:11,433 --> 00:37:14,167
I KNOW THAT I CAN'T
ALWAYS COUNT ON HER,
661
00:37:14,267 --> 00:37:17,000
BUT SHE'S STILL MY MOM.
662
00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,567
IT'S MADE ME REALIZE
663
00:37:19,667 --> 00:37:22,433
THAT I STILL HAVEN'T DEALT
WITH ALL THE PAIN AND THE HURT
664
00:37:22,533 --> 00:37:23,433
I HAVE FROM HER.
665
00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:27,900
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
666
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,667
I WANT TO RUN TO FOOD
RIGHT NOW,
667
00:37:30,767 --> 00:37:34,067
BUT I CAN'T.
668
00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,433
Chay: OKAY.
669
00:37:36,533 --> 00:37:39,400
I THOUGHT THIS SURGERY
WAS GONNA FIX ME.
670
00:37:44,867 --> 00:37:45,767
I ASKED THE DOCTOR
671
00:37:45,867 --> 00:37:48,100
IF THE THERAPIST
COULD COME SEE ME TODAY.
672
00:37:49,367 --> 00:37:51,733
I HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT.
673
00:37:51,833 --> 00:37:53,033
HI, CHAY.
HI, THERE.
674
00:37:53,133 --> 00:37:54,233
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
675
00:37:54,333 --> 00:37:55,167
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
676
00:37:55,267 --> 00:37:56,567
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
677
00:37:56,667 --> 00:37:58,867
I'M FEELING OKAY.
A LITTLE PAIN HERE AND THERE.
678
00:37:58,967 --> 00:37:59,867
OKAY.
679
00:37:59,967 --> 00:38:01,133
SO, EMOTIONALLY,
680
00:38:01,233 --> 00:38:03,633
WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT?
681
00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:05,033
I KNOW
PART OF MY PROBLEM
682
00:38:05,133 --> 00:38:06,900
IS I DON'T REALLY
TRUST ANYONE FULLY.
683
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:07,900
OKAY.
684
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,167
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
MY WHOLE LIFE,
685
00:38:09,267 --> 00:38:11,433
I WAS ALWAYS LET DOWN
BY SOMEONE,
686
00:38:11,533 --> 00:38:12,500
MOSTLY MY MOM.
687
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,733
'CAUSE AS A KID,
YOU KNOW AND UNDERSTAND
688
00:38:14,833 --> 00:38:18,467
THAT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO
TRUST YOUR MOM NO MATTER WHAT.
689
00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:19,667
I DIDN'T HAVE THAT.
690
00:38:19,767 --> 00:38:22,100
MY ENCOURAGEMENT
IS YOU NEED TO OPEN UP
691
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,533
AND TALK TO YOUR MOTHER
692
00:38:23,633 --> 00:38:25,900
AND THEN BE ABLE TO SAY
WHAT YOU FEEL.
693
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,167
THAT'S WHERE YOU START
IN ACCEPTING THIS IS HOW I FEEL.
694
00:38:29,267 --> 00:38:31,367
AND THAT'S OKAY.
I DON'T NEED TO HIDE THAT.
695
00:38:31,467 --> 00:38:33,467
I'M SAD AND I'M HURTING
AND I'M STRESSED.
696
00:38:33,567 --> 00:38:35,567
I REALIZE I'M TEMPTED
TO PURSUE FOOD HERE,
697
00:38:35,667 --> 00:38:36,533
BUT I CAN BE SAD,
698
00:38:36,633 --> 00:38:38,300
AND I CAN BE
APPROPRIATELY STRESSED
699
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,300
AND NOT MAKE THAT CHOICE.
700
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,233
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
IT DOES.
701
00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:44,567
'CAUSE YOUR MOTHER'S BEEN
SO NEGATIVE.
702
00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:46,967
YOU KNOW, SO YOU NEED TO WORK
THROUGH YOUR GRIEF WITH HER
703
00:38:47,067 --> 00:38:48,833
AND CONTINUE TO MAKE
HEALTHY CHOICES FOR YOURSELF.
704
00:38:48,933 --> 00:38:51,467
YOU KNOW,
THE WHOLE TRUST THING,
705
00:38:51,567 --> 00:38:54,367
I THINK YOU'RE DOING PRETTY GOOD
JUST BEING ABLE TO OPEN UP.
706
00:38:54,467 --> 00:38:56,733
WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE
A FIRST STEP SOMEWHERE.
707
00:38:56,833 --> 00:38:58,467
YEAH. I THINK YOU HAVE.
[ LAUGHS ]
708
00:38:58,567 --> 00:39:01,000
THANK YOU FOR TODAY.
709
00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:02,867
ALL RIGHT,
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
710
00:39:02,967 --> 00:39:04,233
THANK YOU.
OKAY. BYE-BYE.
711
00:39:04,333 --> 00:39:05,733
IT WAS GOOD SEEING YOU.
BYE.
712
00:39:05,833 --> 00:39:08,000
THE PAIN FROM MY MOM
HAS DRIVEN ME MORE TO FOOD
713
00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:09,833
THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE,
714
00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:13,467
SO I HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO LET IT GO.
715
00:39:13,567 --> 00:39:17,233
I HAVE TO TALK TO HER
ABOUT HOW SHE'S HURT ME.
716
00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:20,067
I HOPE IT GOES WELL.
717
00:39:20,167 --> 00:39:23,000
I JUST DON'T WANT THINGS
TO GET WORSE.
718
00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:55,367
Chay: NO MATTER WHAT,
I KNOW I HAVE TO DO THIS.
719
00:39:55,467 --> 00:39:59,633
I AT LEAST HAVE TO START
THE PROCESS RIGHT NOW.
720
00:39:59,733 --> 00:40:03,000
I JUST HOPE THIS GOES WELL.
721
00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:06,633
Chay: OH, YOU KNOW,
I'M GRATEFUL YOU CAME.
722
00:40:06,733 --> 00:40:08,067
IT MEANS A LOT.
723
00:40:08,167 --> 00:40:10,000
I WAS UPSET BECAUSE
I COULDN'T GO FOR THE SURGERY,
724
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:12,067
BUT, I MEAN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I WANTED TO BE THERE.
725
00:40:12,167 --> 00:40:15,033
THERE'S BEEN TIMES WHERE
I COULDN'T EXACTLY COUNT ON YOU.
726
00:40:15,133 --> 00:40:18,033
YOU WOULD BE GOOD FOR A WHILE
AND THEN BAD FOR A WHILE.
727
00:40:18,133 --> 00:40:20,133
YEAH,
BECAUSE I'M AN ADDICT.
728
00:40:20,233 --> 00:40:23,133
REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME,
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WAS LITTLE,
729
00:40:23,233 --> 00:40:25,233
I SAID, "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
WANT TO GO TO YOUR MAMA?"
730
00:40:25,333 --> 00:40:27,633
AND YOU SAID,
"BECAUSE I'M SAFE WITH MY MAMA,"
731
00:40:27,733 --> 00:40:29,000
AND I REGRET THAT.
732
00:40:29,100 --> 00:40:30,233
WELL, I DON'T HOLD IT
AGAINST YOU.
733
00:40:30,333 --> 00:40:31,733
I HAVE COME TO THE PLACE
734
00:40:31,833 --> 00:40:34,767
WHERE I REALIZE THAT FORGIVENESS
ISN'T FOR THE OTHER PERSON.
735
00:40:34,867 --> 00:40:35,900
IT'S FOR YOURSELF.
736
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,833
I DON'T HATE IT.
THAT DOESN'T DO US NO GOOD.
737
00:40:38,933 --> 00:40:41,967
WELL, SEE, NOW THAT I AIN'T
DOING ALL THAT BAD STUFF,
738
00:40:42,067 --> 00:40:43,433
SEE, NOW I CAN COME DOWN
739
00:40:43,533 --> 00:40:45,767
AND CHECK ON YOU
AND TAKE CARE OF YOU.
740
00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:46,933
YEAH, I LIKE THAT.
741
00:40:47,033 --> 00:40:48,033
I LIKE THAT, TOO.
742
00:40:48,133 --> 00:40:49,733
I LOVE YOU,
AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
743
00:40:49,833 --> 00:40:51,700
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
I'M GLAD TO BE HERE WITH YOU.
744
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,133
HEARING MY MOM
745
00:40:53,233 --> 00:40:55,367
SAY THAT SHE COULD HAVE
BEEN BETTER AS A MOM,
746
00:40:55,467 --> 00:40:57,900
YOU KNOW, MADE ME FEEL GOOD,
747
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,533
BECAUSE I FINALLY FEEL LIKE
SHE'S HEARD WHAT I'M SAYING
748
00:41:00,633 --> 00:41:02,767
AND THAT MY VOICE
IS FINALLY BEING RECEIVED.
749
00:41:02,867 --> 00:41:05,600
Cindy: MY BIGGEST REGRET
IS MY DRINKING.
750
00:41:05,700 --> 00:41:07,700
I'M JUST GONNA BUY HIM
ALL THE JUNK
751
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,700
SO HE CAN SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV
AND NOT BOTHER ME
752
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:10,867
WHILE I WAS OUTSIDE DRINKING.
753
00:41:10,967 --> 00:41:12,600
BUT THAT WAS MY DOING.
754
00:41:12,700 --> 00:41:14,967
I CAN'T FIX THE PAST,
BUT I CAN FIX THE FUTURE.
755
00:41:15,067 --> 00:41:18,967
Chay: I'M VERY THANKFUL
I DID THIS TODAY.
756
00:41:19,067 --> 00:41:20,933
THE PAIN ISN'T ALL GONE,
757
00:41:21,033 --> 00:41:25,300
BUT I THINK I'M IN A PLACE
WHERE I CAN START TO HEAL.
758
00:41:30,367 --> 00:41:31,900
Woman: GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
759
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:32,833
I'M GREAT.
760
00:41:32,933 --> 00:41:35,433
FOOD IS STILL TEMPTING
AT TIMES,
761
00:41:35,533 --> 00:41:37,967
BUT I'VE BEEN RESISTING
PRETTY WELL.
762
00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:41,200
WHOO! GOOD JOB.
763
00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:42,633
Chay:
THE CRAVINGS ARE STILL THERE,
764
00:41:42,733 --> 00:41:44,567
BUT THEY AREN'T AS BAD.
765
00:41:44,667 --> 00:41:45,600
Rona: HEY!
766
00:41:45,700 --> 00:41:46,967
CHAY, YOU HAVE COME
A LONG WAY.
767
00:41:47,067 --> 00:41:49,200
YOU'RE DOING VERY GOOD.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
768
00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:52,400
I'M HOPING
THAT IT WILL GET BETTER
769
00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:55,500
AS I DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS
MORE AND MORE.
770
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,667
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
771
00:41:56,767 --> 00:41:59,467
I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING
TO GET MY LIFE ON TRACK.
772
00:41:59,567 --> 00:42:02,300
I REALLY LIKE
THIS PLACE.
773
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,433
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR A PLACE OF MY OWN.
774
00:42:04,533 --> 00:42:06,533
I COULD TOTALLY SEE MYSELF
LIVING HERE.
775
00:42:06,633 --> 00:42:09,000
I NEVER WOULD HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO IMAGINE
776
00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:12,933
HOW LIBERATING THIS HAS BEEN
AND HOW MUCH HOPE I HAVE NOW.
777
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,100
I CONTINUE GETTING CLOSER
TO MY MOM.
778
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,033
I'M JUST THANKFUL
FOR HOW THINGS ARE NOW.
779
00:42:20,133 --> 00:42:22,500
SINCE 'CAUSE I ACT LIKE
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM.
780
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,867
NOW MY FUTURE IS WIDE-OPEN.
781
00:42:25,967 --> 00:42:28,633
I'M HAPPY
I'M GETTING MY LIFE BACK,
782
00:42:28,733 --> 00:42:32,000
AND I KNOW MY GRANDMA
IS HAPPY FOR ME, TOO.
57853
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