Original subtitles

Laura: SOME DAYS, I WANT TO DIE

SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME ANYMORE.

Man: I AM LIVING A NIGHTMARE.

I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY.

Woman: I HATE THIS LIFE THAT I HAVE.

DON'T YOU DARE PUT IT ALL OFF ON ME!

LISTEN, SHE IS GOING TO DIE. THAT'S ENOUGH!

BOTH OF Y'ALL, STOP! JUST STOP!

Dr. Nowzaradan: WE'VE GOT TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM.

OTHERWISE, SURGERY WOULD NOT BE USEFUL FOR YOU.

[ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T DO THIS

WITHOUT SOMEBODY TO HELP ME SAY NO.

Dr. Nowzaradan: IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO DYING.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Laura: SOMETIMES YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE ON THE WRONG PATH,

BUT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

UNTIL YOU COME TO A CROSSROADS.

[ GRUNTS ]

OKAY.

MOST DAYS, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GET UP.

[ WATER RUNNING ]

I FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED IN THIS BODY.

OW.

SORRY.

OW, OW, OW! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN.

[ Voice breaking ] IT'S A NIGHTMARE

THAT I WANT TO WAKE UP, BUT I CAN'T.

YOU HAVE TO LIFT IT.

OW, OW! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

AND IT'S AN UGLY FEELING.

I DON'T WANT NOBODY TO EVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.

I'VE GOTTEN SO BIG

THAT I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ANYMORE.

IT'S JUST HUMILIATING

TO HAVE YOUR FAMILY DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU LIKE THIS.

SOME DAYS, I WANT TO DIE

SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME ANYMORE.

[ GRUNTS ]

ALL RIGHT. READY?

YEAH.

WE DO MOSTLY EVERYTHING FOR HER.

SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY ALL THE TIME.

I FEEL BAD 'CAUSE SHE CAN'T DO IT HERSELF.

BUT THAT'S WHY I'M THERE.

Laura: NO MERCY.

PICK UP THAT.

I'M HERE TO HELP HER WITH HER LIFE.

CAREFUL. REMEMBER.

SLOW.

NOW WE GOT TO SHIFT IT.

THERE.

OW.

Laura: IT'S HURTING ME,

NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF.

OH.

DON'T LET GO OF ME!

WELL...

YOU NEVER THINK YOUR LIFE WILL EVER END UP

IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.

GROWING UP, MY WEIGHT WASN'T MUCH OF AN ISSUE.

BUT I STARTED TO GAIN WEIGHT WHEN I WAS 5.

AN OLDER COUSIN OF MINE MOLESTED ME.

HE WOULD JUST TOUCH ME AND STUFF.

I NEVER TOLD MY PARENTS ANYTHING,

SO THE MOLESTATION WENT ON FOR YEARS.

MY WHOLE LIFE JUST CHANGED.

SO I TURNED TO FOOD.

THAT WAS MY COMFORT.

IN ELEMENTARY, I WAS ALWAYS THE BIGGEST KID.

SHE USED TO GO TO SCHOOL,

AND THEY WOULD MAKE FUN OF HER 'CAUSE SHE WAS OVERWEIGHT.

Laura: THEY WOULD CALL ME FAT AND...

SAY THAT "YOU'RE GONNA BREAK THE DESK."

[ SNIFFLES ]

AND I TOOK ALL THAT ANGER AND PAIN AND KEPT EATING.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,

I WAS ALREADY OVER 300 POUNDS.

I JUST KEPT PUTTING ON WEIGHT AND GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER.

AND THEN I MET JOEY WHEN I WAS 27.

I DID LIKE HEAVYSET GIRLS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,

SO I LIKED THE WAY SHE WAS.

Laura: I'VE GAINED A LOT MORE WEIGHT SINCE THEN.

NOW I FEEL LIKE I'VE BECOME THIS BURDEN IN HIS LIFE...

BABY...

YEAH?

...CAN I HAVE SOMETHING FROM THE SWEET BIN?

...JUST SOMEONE HE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF.

SOME OF THE THINGS I DO FOR HER MAY NOT BE GOOD FOR HER,

LIKE THE SWEETS AND OTHER STUFF,

BUT SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.

I LOVE MY WIFE A LOT.

BUT IT'S HARD TO TELL HER NO 'CAUSE I LOVE HER.

Laura: NOW I'M AROUND 600 POUNDS,

AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ANYMORE.

I WANT TO GET HEALTHY,

BUT I LOVE FOOD.

OKAY.

OW!

[ GRUNTS ]

I WANT TO HAVE A FUTURE AND A LIFE.

OW. MY BACK.

IT'S HOT IN HERE.

I NEED A SHIRT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT COLOR SHIRT.

I GUESS THE PURPLE ONE THAT I HAD YESTERDAY.

MAKE SURE YOU STRETCH IT.

I WANT THINGS.

TELL HIM TO STRETCH IT.

I WANT A JOB AND TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A FAMILY.

BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT, I MAY NEVER HAVE KIDS OF MY OWN.

SO I TREAT MY NIECES LIKE THEY'RE MY OWN CHILDREN.

BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME.

AND JOEY HAS TO HELP ME TO DO ANYTHING AND GO ANYWHERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR CANE'S AT.

WELL, I NEED IT. OW.

DAMN! ALMOST BROKE MY LEG.

I HAVE TO TAKE MY OXYGEN AND MY WHEELCHAIR

BECAUSE I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM.

I GET OUT MAYBE ONCE A MONTH,

AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO THIS

ON AN EVERYDAY BASIS.

IT'S TOO MUCH WORK.

IT HURTS A LOT, AND PEOPLE STARE A LOT,

SO I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT MUCH.

I FEEL BAD BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS STARING AT HER,

AND I'M WITH HER, BUT I CAN'T DO NOTHING FOR HER.

IT'S NOT RIGHT.

Laura: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE PEOPLE ARE STARING AT.

COME ON. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I THINK SHE IS EMBARRASSED.

SEE? I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT THE CART.

AND THEY LOOK AT HER, YOU KNOW, "UGLY."

MUCH BETTER.

I FEEL DEPRESSED, OF COURSE,

BECAUSE IT'S MY DAUGHTER THEY'RE LOOKING AT.

NANA, I WANT A PINK CUPCAKE.

THOSE ARE GOOD. THEY HAVE ALMONDS IN THEM.

SOME GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE.

WHOA.

THAT'S LIKE HEAVEN OVER THERE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

AND THE WHITES.

[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]

ARE YOU GONNA EAT THEM WITH ME?

Laura: EVERY TIME I HAVE A STRESS IN MY LIFE,

I TURN TO SWEETS.

I'LL GO, "OH, I'M STRESSED OUT.

I'M GONNA GO EAT A PIECE OF CAKE."

OH, MY GOD. MY FAVORITE CANDY.

I KNOW I SHOULDN'T GET IT,

BUT I KEEP GETTING IT, AND I'M LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.

I WANT THAT, I WANT THAT."

I'LL GO LOOK FOR A BAKERY

QUICKER THAN I'LL GO LOOK FOR A DRIVE-THROUGH.

I WISH THEY COULD JUST LOCK DOWN ALL THE BAKERIES

SO I DON'T HAVE TO GO HIT THEM UP.

I KNOW SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE NOW,

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING,

OR I'M NOT GONNA BE AROUND MUCH LONGER.

WE NEED TWO OF THE REGULAR TENDERS,

AND THEN WE NEED THREE OF THE HOT ONES.

I HAVE A BIG FAMILY, AND WE ALL LOVE TO EAT.

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

Laura: AND I JUST CAN'T STOP.

ANYTIME.

[ Voice breaking ] NOT BEING ABLE TO LOSE THE WEIGHT

IS KILLING ME.

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M FAILING.

I FEEL LIKE... I'M GIVING UP ON THEM.

Joey: MY BIGGEST FEAR IS

THAT SHE DOESN'T GET HELP AND SHE GIVES UP ON HERSELF.

I WORRY ABOUT IT,

BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW ANYTHING,

SO I JUST KEEP IT TO MYSELF.

Laura: MY MOM CRIES WITH ME.

SHE SAYS THAT SHE'S SORRY.

AND I TOLD HER IT'S NOT HER FAULT.

[ GASPS ]

I WANT TO CHANGE,

BUT I'M SCARED THAT I WON'T MAKE IT.

I KNOW IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING, I'M GONNA DIE SOON.

WHY ARE YOU HOLDING MY CANE?

WELL, YOU -- I GOT YOU RIGHT NOW.

YOU NEED IT FOR OUTSIDE.

NANA WILL BE BACK IN A LITTLE WHILE, OKAY?

DOCTORS HAVE SAID THAT THEY COULD HELP ME BEFORE,

BUT THEY'VE DONE NOTHING FOR ME.

I HOPE THIS DOCTOR'S DIFFERENT.

A LOT OF DOCTORS HAVE TOLD ME

THAT THEY'RE JUST GIVING ME MEDICATION

SO THEY CAN MAKE ME COMFORTABLE

SO I CAN GO AHEAD AND DIE ALREADY.

I'M SCARED HE'S GONNA TELL ME SOMETHING I CAN'T DO,

AND I WON'T GET THE SURGERY.

I'M A LITTLE SCARED TO FIND OUT MY WEIGHT, TOO.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE GAINED

SINCE THE LAST TIME I WAS WEIGHED.

WOW.

ALL THE DOCTORS I'VE SEEN BEFORE DIDN'T HELP ME.

[ Voice breaking ] SO, I'M NERVOUS ABOUT WHAT HE'S GONNA TELL ME,

AND I'M AFRAID OF HEARING HE WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP ME.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO.

I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.

HI. I'M LAURA PEREZ.

SO, YOU ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY WITH YOUR WEIGHT, HUH?

WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE

WITH YOUR EATING HABIT?

SWEETS.

I'LL TRY TO FIND ANYTHING SWEET, LIKE CANDY OR...

A LOT OF CAKE.

SO, WHERE DO YOU GET THAT CAKE?

WHO?

YOU?

YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY THIS OVERWEIGHT

THAT DOESN'T HAVE ENABLING PEOPLE AROUND THEM,

SUPPORTING THEM.

IT SHOULD BE THE OPPOSITE.

THEY SHOULD TELL YOU YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE THAT.

I SEE YOU'RE CARRYING OXYGEN WITH YOU ALL THE TIME?

YES.

OKAY. AND YOU ARE DIABETIC?

LAURA IS AT HER LIMIT,

AND THE FAMILY IS THE ONE PUSHING HER THERE.

SHE CARRIES AN OXYGEN TANK WITH HER

BECAUSE SHE CAN NO LONGER BREATHE ON HER OWN.

SHE'S PHYSICALLY IN ONE OF THE WORST SHAPE I HAVE SEEN.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR EATING,

SO NO MORE CAKE.

MY 2-YEAR-OLD AND THE 5-YEAR-OLD,

THEY'RE MY BABIES,

AND THAT'S WHAT'S MAKING ME GET MOTIVATED.

THEY WROTE A LETTER TO YOU.

SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD.

SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD?

YES. WOW.

"I WANT HER TO BE SKINNY." AND WHO IS THAT?

HER DAUGHTER, BUT SHE'S LIKE MY --

SHE CALLS ME MOMMY, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. SO YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THAT BABY PROUD.

YES.

SO, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITY

TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU TO MAKE THE CHANGES, OKAY?

AND YOU NEED TO MAKE THOSE CHANGES NOW

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

OTHERWISE, YOU'RE GONNA GET SICKER AND SICKER,

AND THERE'LL BE NO WAY TO PULL YOU OUT.

RIGHT NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT TO BE 50.

I HAVE TO TRY TO DO IT BECAUSE I NEED TO LIVE.

I NEED TO LIVE FOR MY BABIES. I NEED TO LIVE FOR MYSELF.

TO DO THAT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABIT.

FREQUENCY OF EATING IS GONNA BE ONLY THREE TIMES.

THERE'LL BE NO SNACKING BETWEEN THE MEALS.

NO SWEETS.

THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR TRIAL PERIOD,

AND I NEED YOU TO LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS.

YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?

YES, I WILL DO IT.

OKAY.

LAURA HAS A WHOLE ENVIRONMENT OF ENABLERS.

THAT WILL BE VERY HARD TO ADDRESS.

ALL RIGHT. NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS.

Carmen: LIKEWISE, DOCTOR.

WE'LL SEE HOW SHE DOES OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS.

Laura: IT'S SCARY TO KNOW

THAT I HAVE TO LOSE THAT MUCH TO GET THE SURGERY.

GET SOME CIRCULATION GOING.

I'VE NEVER TRIED TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

BUT I KNOW I'M DOWN TO MY LAST RESORT.

I JUST HOPE I CAN DO THIS.

OVER THIS LAST MONTH,

I'VE BEEN WORKING HARDER THAN I'VE EVER WORKED AT ANYTHING.

THE DOCTOR SAID I NEED TO MOVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE,

SO I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT.

WHAT SHE'S EATING NOW IS A LOT OF SALADS AND VEGETABLES

AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

SHE'S REALLY STICKING TO HER DIET,

SO I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

Laura: JOEY'S BEEN REALLY SUPPORTIVE.

SOMETIMES I JUST WANT CANDY OR CAKE,

BUT HE BRINGS ME GOOD STUFF NOW AND NOT JUNK.

OH, YEAH.

THIS IS STEAMED CHICKEN WITH VEGETABLES,

BELL PEPPER, ONION, AND MUSHROOMS.

AND IT'S VERY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT I WAS EATING.

NO OTHER DOCTOR HAS GIVEN ME THIS KIND OF HOPE.

SO WHATEVER IT TAKES, I'M WILLING TO DO IT.

WE'RE AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE AGAIN

TO SEE IF I QUALIFY FOR SURGERY.

I'M REALLY NERVOUS,

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ANSWER'S GOING TO BE.

OH, MY GOSH.

GOOD.

Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO. HOW YOU ALL DOING?

GOOD.

ALL RIGHT. SO YOU LOST QUITE A BUT OF WEIGHT,

SO I'M GOING TO APPROVE YOU FOR SURGERY.

WE'RE GONNA SCHEDULE YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

[ LAUGHS ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M VERY PLEASED WITH LAURA'S PROGRESS,

AND IT SEEMS THE FAMILY'S SUPPORTIVE OF HER.

YOU'RE DOING VERY GOOD. STICK WITH THE PROGRAM.

OKAY. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL GO AHEAD AND GET HER IN SURGERY,

AND THEN WE'LL START WORKING ON NEXT STEPS.

Laura: THERE'S SO MUCH I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO DO,

AND I JUST CAN'T WAIT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'M NOT JUST FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

I'M FIGHTING FOR MY FAMILY.

THE REALITY OF THIS IS ALL SETTING IN.

THIS IS MAJOR SURGERY, AND I'M REALLY SCARED.

AND YOU'RE NOT GOING NOWHERE, MY LITTLE PUMPKIN.

Girl: BYE, NANA! BYE, NANA!

BYE, BABY.

I LOVE YOU, NANA.

I LOVE YOU, BABY.

[ Crying ] I'M SCARED THAT I'LL NEVER SEE MY BABIES AGAIN.

[ SNIFFLES ]

I'M SCARED I WON'T WAKE UP, AND I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

I CAN'T TAKE THE RISK.

I'M CANCELING THE SURGERY.

Laura: BITTERNESS AND PAIN ARE LIKE A CURRENT

THAT CAN TAKE YOU TO PLACES YOU NEVER WANTED TO GO.

I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.

I WANTED TO CALL OFF THE SURGERY,

BUT MY FAMILY CONVINCED ME TO GO AHEAD AND DO IT.

Woman: READY?

I KNOW I WANT IT,

BUT I'M JUST SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.

I'M SCARED THAT I WON'T WAKE UP...

PERFECT. TAKE IN A DEEP BREATH.

...AND I WON'T SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN.

Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA IS HAVING HER GASTRIC BYPASS TODAY.

THIS IS A RISKY OPERATION FOR A PATIENT THIS SIZE,

AND THERE ARE ADDITIONAL RISK FACTORS FOR LAURA

BECAUSE OF THE REST OF HER CONDITION.

WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO MAKE SURE

THAT SURGERY IS NOT GONNA COMPROMISE

THE REST OF HER STATUS

AND CREATE SOME EMERGENCY SITUATION.

BUT THIS BYPASS WILL HELP HER LOSE WEIGHT

AND MAKE GOOD PROGRESS.

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

[ MONITORS BEEPING LOUDLY ]

IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO A BYPASS.

WE HAVE TO CONVERT TO A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY.

GASTRIC SLEEVE IS AN OPERATION

THAT WILL REDUCE THE SIZE OF THE STOMACH.

WE ESSENTIALLY TAKE ABOUT 80% OF THE STOMACH OUT.

THE SURGERY WILL STILL HELP HER

BUT NOT AS MUCH AS A FULL BYPASS.

LAURA'S SURGERY IS FINISHED.

IT WENT AS WELL AS POSSIBLE

WITH THE SITUATION THAT WE ENCOUNTERED.

1, 2, 3.

HER SURGERY DID NOT GO AS WE PLANNED.

BUT WE ACCOMPLISHED SOME SORT OF WEIGHT-LOSS OPERATION.

BUT UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,

THAT'S THE ONLY TOOL WE CAN OFFER FOR LAURA.

SO SHE SHOULD RECOVER WELL,

AND SHE SHOULD STILL START LOSING WEIGHT

WHEN SHE GOES HOME.

Carmen: GOOD MORNING.

Laura: THIS PAST MONTH

HASN'T BEEN AS EASY AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

I WAS REALLY UPSET WHEN I WOKE UP

AND THE DOCTOR TOLD ME HE COULDN'T DO THE BYPASS.

BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I WAS WORKING SO HARD FOR,

AND IT FEELS LIKE IT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME.

I'M TRYING TO GET MY LIFE BACK,

BUT I STILL HAVE CRAVINGS,

SO IT'S HARD TO KNOW MY NEW LIMITS.

I'VE BEEN THROWING UP A LOT

BECAUSE I'M EATING MORE THAN MY STOMACH CAN HOLD.

AND I DIDN'T KNOW

IT WOULD BE TOUGH FOR ME TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

YOU EAT YOUR EGG.

DONE.

AND I'M TRYING TO GET UP

AND MOVE AROUND LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO,

BUT THAT'S BEEN TOUGH, TOO.

NANA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I HAVE TO WALK.

I'VE BEEN FEELING REALLY RUN DOWN AND WINDED LATELY.

MY LUNGS HURT A LOT.

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS,

AND I HAVE TO STAY STRONG FOR MY FAMILY AND MYSELF.

I DON'T WANT TO FAIL AT THIS.

I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT WOULD BE SO HARD.

Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA'S FAMILY SAYS THAT SHE PASSED OUT,

AND THEN THEY RUSHED HER TO A HOSPITAL.

RIGHT NOW, SHE CAN'T BREATHE ON HER OWN,

AND WE GOT HER ON A VENTILATOR.

WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER IMMEDIATELY.

AND WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO GET HER THROUGH THIS.

[ Voice breaking ] I'VE NEVER SEEN HER LIKE THIS.

SHE'S GONNA GET THROUGH IT.

SHE'S STRONG. I KNOW SHE IS.

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA'S FAMILY SAYS

SHE HASN'T BEEN FEELING WELL

BUT NEVER CAME TO THE HOSPITAL.

AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHE HAS PNEUMONIA,

AND IT IS PRETTY SEVERE.

WE GOT HER JUST IN TIME TO KEEP HER ALIVE.

BUT IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO DYING.

Joey: THE EMOTIONS I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW

IS JUST RUNNING WILD

BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO SEE HER LIKE THAT.

LAURA IS MY LIFE.

SHE'S BEEN THERE WITH ME THROUGH THICK AND THIN.

IT'S VERY SAD TO SEE HER IN THIS STATE.

AND I CAN'T HELP HER.

Dr. Nowzaradan: A PATIENT THIS SIZE

CANNOT HANDLE ANY SORT OF SICKNESS.

THEIR BODY HAS NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE.

WE GOT TO DO WHAT WE CAN

TO SEE IF WE'RE GONNA PULL HER THROUGH THIS.

BUT RIGHT NOW, SHE'S BARELY HOLDING ON.

Laura: BEING IN THE HOSPITAL,

COMING THAT CLOSE TO DEATH WAS PRETTY SCARY.

HANG ON.

IT MADE ME REALIZE HOW MUCH OF MY LIFE I'VE WASTED.

I'VE TAKEN ALL THIS PAIN AND BITTERNESS,

AND ALL I DID WAS EAT INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH IT.

I THOUGHT IF I LOST THE WEIGHT, THEN I WOULD START TO GET HAPPY,

BUT IT'S REALLY JUST BEEN BRINGING EVERYTHING

TO THE SURFACE,

AND I DON'T WANT TO RUN FROM IT ANYMORE.

I NEED GOD TO CHANGE MY HEART

TOWARDS ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HURT ME.

THE BITTERNESS HAS BEEN KILLING ME,

AND I JUST WANT TO LET IT GO

SO I CAN BE FREE TO LIVE MY LIFE AND BE HEALTHY.

I WANT SO DESPERATELY TO HEAL.

BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'M STRONG ENOUGH TO DO IT.

THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON INSIDE ME.

I JUST NEED HELP TO FIGURE IT OUT.

Joey: YOU READY?

A NEW BODY WON'T MATTER IF I STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY.

SO I'M GONNA SEE A THERAPIST TODAY

TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT MY PAST.

HI, LAURA.

I'M MOLLY. LET'S GO AHEAD AND GO BACK.

I JUST KIND OF WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU A LITTLE BIT,

SO IF YOU COULD JUST SHARE A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO KNOW ABOUT YOU...

I'VE BEEN HEAVY ALL MY LIFE.

MM-HMM.

AND, UM, I WENT THROUGH A LOT.

SOMETIMES WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I FELT LIKE I WASN'T PROTECTED.

YEAH.

[ Voice breaking ] ONE OF MY OLDER COUSINS MOLESTED ME.

I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, 4 YEARS OLD,

TILL PROBABLY 10.

THAT'S A BIG AMOUNT OF TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

YEAH.

I HELD IT IN TILL I WAS 21 YEARS OLD.

THAT'S A LONG TIME.

I COULDN'T TELL NOBODY.

'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS...

MY FAULT.

SO IT WAS JUST LIKE I WOULD EAT SOMETHING SWEET,

AND I WOULD FEEL BETTER.

WELL, THAT WAS YOUR COMFORT, RIGHT?

THAT WAS THE ONE THING YOU COULD RELY ON.

YEAH.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE IT KIND OF FILLED A VOID IN YOUR LIFE?

EVEN IF I WOULD EAT,

THE PROBLEM WOULD STILL BE THERE.

YEAH.

SO I WOULD EAT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

A VICIOUS CYCLE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET GO OF STUFF.

THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO YOU

THAT WERE NOT OKAY,

AND YOU CAN'T JUST BE OKAY WITH IT.

BUT FORGIVING IS TO LET IT GO,

AND IT RELEASES YOU FROM HOLDING ON TO ALL OF THAT.

I PRAY AND PRAY,

LIKE, "GOD, PLEASE, SOFTEN MY HEART.

LET ME FORGIVE THE BAD THINGS."

BUT I DON'T FORGIVE.

BUT, YOU KNOW, FORGIVENESS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

IT'S FOR YOU.

FORGIVENESS ALLOWS THEM

TO NOT HAVE THAT POWER OVER YOU ANYMORE.

BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU'RE HOLDING ON TO THAT,

THEY STILL HAVE CONTROL.

I HAVE TO FORGIVE SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE,

SO I CAN BE HAPPY WITH MY NEW BODY...

[ CHUCKLES ]

...AND MY NEW LIFE.

SO I CAN MAKE NEW MEMORIES.

YEAH.

I WANT TO WORK ON THAT.

I APPRECIATE SO MUCH WHAT YOU DID SHARE TODAY.

Laura: IT'S EASY TO KNOW I NEED TO FORGIVE.

BUT HOW DO YOU TAKE A LIFE OF PAIN

AND JUST LET IT GO?

IF I DON'T,

I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA MAKE ANY MORE PROGRESS.

THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE, AND I HAVE TO DO THIS.

Laura: IT'S HARD TO REALIZE

THE CHOICES YOU NEED TO MAKE TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND,

BUT THE HARDEST PART IS FOLLOWING THROUGH

AND MAKING THOSE CHOICES.

WE'RE AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE TODAY

TO SEE IF I'VE MADE ANY MORE PROGRESS.

Woman: MS. PEREZ?

IT'S BEEN AN EMOTIONAL FEW MONTHS,

AND IT'S BEEN HARDER TO MAKE ALL THE RIGHT CHOICES

AND TO EAT WHAT I SHOULD.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M REALLY CONCERNED

ABOUT YOUR LACK OF PROGRESS.

FOR YOUR HEIGHT, YOUR IDEAL BODY WEIGHT IS 120.

SO, YOU'RE WAY OVER, OVER YOUR IDEAL BODY WEIGHT.

I STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

YOU CANNOT START GAINING WEIGHT AGAIN,

AND THAT'S THE NEXT STEP FROM HERE.

Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA IS A VERY EMOTIONAL PERSON.

BEFORE SURGERY,

THERE WAS LESS OF A STRUGGLE WITH HER EMOTIONS,

SO SHE MADE GOOD PROGRESS.

NOW SHE HAS TO LEARN TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS

AND NOT USE FOOD FOR THAT.

YOU NEED TO GET YOUR EATING UNDER CONTROL NOW.

IF SHE DOESN'T, THE SURGERY WILL HAVE BEEN POINTLESS.

WHOA.

Laura: I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THE PAIN THAT I HAVE

AND KEEP MAKING PROGRESS WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I'M GONNA GET MY LIFE BACK.

I'VE HAD SOME BITTERNESS TOWARDS MY MOM

THAT I'VE NEVER FULLY LET GO OF.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,

I BLAMED HER FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.

UM...

I NEVER LET THAT GO, AND I WANT TO DO THAT.

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS,

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'S GONNA REACT.

I'LL TAKE THE CHILE RELLENO, THE BEEF.

I LOVE MY MOM, AND HONESTLY,

SHE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP I HAVE IN MY LIFE,

AND I THINK THE PAIN THAT'S BEEN THERE BETWEEN US

HAS BEEN WHAT'S AFFECTING ME THE MOST.

HERE WE ARE.

OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

I WANTED TO THANK YOU

FOR ALWAYS TAKING CARE OF ME,

AND WITHOUT YOU, EVERYBODY WOULD FALL APART.

I GUESS, HONESTLY,

AS YOU GOT OLDER, YOU THOUGHT THAT WAY,

BUT WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG, YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT WAY.

I BLAMED YOU.

I GUESS YOU HAD SOME KIND OF HATE TOWARDS ME.

IT WASN'T HATE.

IT WAS JUST, LIKE, I NEVER FELT LIKE...

AS YOU GOT OLDER, YOU REALIZED, YOU KNOW...

THAT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

AND "SORRY," FOR ME, IS, LIKE, A HARD WORD, TOO.

I'VE NEVER OPENED UP.

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE? I GUESS I WANT TO CHANGE THAT.

I WANT TO CHANGE THAT.

I JUST FELT LIKE

YOU WERE DISAPPOINTED WITH ME ALL THE TIME.

WHY?

[ Voice breaking ] I WANTED YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME.

YOU WALKED FROM THE CAR OVER HERE,

YOU CAME DOWN THE STAIRS, NO WHEELCHAIR.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

NOBODY IN THE WORLD, NOT EVEN YOUR DAD,

YOUR BROTHERS, YOUR SISTERS, YOUR HUSBAND,

IS GONNA LOVE YOU LIKE I DO.

Laura: I'M SO THANKFUL TO START TO LET SOME OF THIS GO.

I LOVE MY MOM SO MUCH.

I ALWAYS HAVE, AND I ALWAYS WILL.

I FEEL LIKE A WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED.

THIS HAS OPENED UP A NEW DOOR FOR US.

Laura: WHAT DO I DO?

SHOULD I COOK THE VEGETABLES FIRST?

Joey: YEAH. AND THEN COOK THE STEAK?

BECAUSE THE STEAK'S GONNA TAKE LONGER.

I'M STARTING TO DO A LOT MORE FOR MYSELF.

TODAY, YOU'RE GONNA SEE NANA COOKING.

I WANT TO BECOME AS SELF-SUFFICIENT AS POSSIBLE.

Girl: NANA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M COOKING VEGETABLES.

FOR SO MANY YEARS,

JOEY AND MY MOM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING FOR ME.

I WANT TO GIVE BACK AS MUCH AS I CAN.

MY GOD. THIS COULD FEED AN ARMY.

I'M LEARNING MORE AND MORE

TO STOP GOING TO FOOD FOR COMFORT.

Joey: THAT'S A STEAK RIGHT THERE.

Girl: WOW.

IT'S HARD WHEN I'M REALLY EMOTIONAL,

BUT IT'S GETTING EASIER.

IT JUST TAKES TIME TO MAKE THE CHANGES LAST.

Joey: I'M PRETTY HAPPY FOR HER.

SHE'S, LIKE, DOING EVERYTHING FOR HERSELF,

AND I'M ALL LIKE, "WOW."

SO NOW YOU'RE GONNA COOK FOR ME EVERY NIGHT?

I'LL COOK FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT.

Laura: I'M BREAKING MY ADDICTION TO FOOD.

I'M FULL.

I THINK WE DID A GOOD JOB, LIKE A TEAM.

TODAY, I'M ON MY WAY TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN.

OKAY.

I'VE WORKED SO HARD FOR A YEAR,

BUT REALLY, THE LAST FEW MONTHS, I'VE GIVEN IT MY ALL.

IT WOULD BE REALLY HARD TO FIND OUT

I HAVEN'T DONE WELL AGAIN.

IT WOULD BE SO DEMORALIZING.

Laura: I'VE WORKED SO HARD FOR A YEAR.

IT WOULD BE REALLY HARD TO FIND OUT

I HAVEN'T DONE WELL AGAIN.

[ GASPS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

WOW. THAT WAS GOOD.

I THOUGHT I MADE PROGRESS,

BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA BE THIS MUCH.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO. HI, DOCTOR.

HOW DOES IT FEEL LOSING ALL THAT WEIGHT?

I FEEL GREAT.

JUST I GET UP IN THE MORNING HAPPIER.

WELL, I'M PROUD OF YOU THAT YOU STUCK WITH THE PROGRAM.

THANK YOU.

AND YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA HAS PROVEN

THAT SHE CAN GET HER EMOTIONAL EATING UNDER CONTROL.

WE JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE

THAT WE KEEP THIS GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

BUT FOR NOW, SHE'S DOING GREAT.

CAN I GIVE YOU A HUG BECAUSE YOU SAVED MY LIFE?

ABSOLUTELY. ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

OKAY.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER. Joey: THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, DOCTOR, FOR EVERYTHING.

HE'S PROUD OF ME.

I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT TODAY.

IT'S BEEN SO FREEING AND SO LIBERATING.

DEALING WITH A LOT OF PAIN AND BITTERNESS

THAT I HAD FROM MY PAST...

...IT FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING IS STARTING TO COME TOGETHER

AND THAT I'M GONNA MAKE IT.

I CAN DO SO MUCH MORE NOW.

I CAN GET AROUND WITHOUT A WHEELCHAIR OR ANY OXYGEN.

OH, THIS IS PRETTY.

I FEEL LIKE A NEW PERSON.

I CAN SHOP AT MORE PLACES LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO.

I FEEL GREAT ABOUT MYSELF.

I'M REALLY HAPPY.

I'VE NEVER WORN A DRESS. THIS IS MY FIRST DRESS.

A YEAR AGO,

I WOULD'VE NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT THIS FAR.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]

GOD HAS HELPED ME, AND I'VE HAD OTHERS HELP ME.

BYE-BYE. THANK YOU.

AND I'M TRULY GRATEFUL.

Y'ALL EXCITED?

Girl: YEAH!

'CAUSE NANA'S NOT IN HER WHEELCHAIR.

YAY! YAY!

Laura: I COULD NEVER SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH MY NIECES

OR A LOT OF TIME JUST BEING UP AND MOVING AROUND.

NOW NOTHING IS HOLDING ME BACK LIKE IT WAS.

THERE'S A KITTY OVER HERE, JULI.

I WANT IT!

SINCE THEY'VE BEEN BORN,

I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WITH MY NIECES.

ARE Y'ALL EXCITED?

YES!

Laura: I'M ACTUALLY PUSHING MYSELF

BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO SEE ME ACCOMPLISHING THINGS.

AND IT'S GREAT.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]

THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.

THEY'RE EXCITED ABOUT ME

BECAUSE I'M DOING THINGS WITH THEM

THAT I HAVE NEVER DONE.

I KNOW THAT THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS OUT THERE

THAT I HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED,

AND I'M JUST TRYING TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME,

BUT I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

IT WAS GREAT.

I KNOW I HAVE A LOT MORE WORK TO DO,

BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME,

I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT I'M GONNA GET THERE.