Original subtitles

Olivia: MY WEIGHT IS KILLING ME.

James: IT'S DEPRESSING,

BEING OVERWEIGHT FOR SO MANY YEARS.

Zsalynn: I'VE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH OF MY DAUGHTER'S CHILDHOOD.

Christina: I FEAR THAT I'LL JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER

UNTIL I DO DIE.

Penny: THIS IS MY LIFE,

AND I'M GONNA FIGHT FOR THIS LIFE.

ARE YOU IN PAIN? [ GROANING ]

WE CAN GIVE YOU SOME MEDICINE, OKAY?

COME ON.

James: I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WHERE I WAS.

THERE YOU GO. WORK IT, GIRL.

Chuck: THE VERY REASON I PUT THE WEIGHT ON

IS BECAUSE OF WHAT I HAVEN'T DEALT WITH.

Paula: IT'S BEEN EIGHT YEARS SINCE I WAS ABLE TO DO

A LOT OF THE THINGS THAT I'M DOING NOW.

Tara: IT FEELS LIKE A NEW LIFE.

Zsalynn: I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS,

BUT WE ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH.

Christina: I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE'S GONNA BRING.

YES.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Zsalynn: I'M MISERABLE.

[ Voice breaking ] I REALLY HATE BEING THIS SIZE.

I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING IS KILLING ME,

BUT I CAN'T STOP.

[ Voice breaking ] MY DAUGHTER IS AN INNOCENT VICTIM IN THIS.

I FEEL LIKE

MY WEIGHT IS COSTING HER A NORMAL CHILDHOOD.

SOMETHING IN MY LIFE HAS TO CHANGE.

WITHOUT THIS SURGERY,

I'M GONNA DIE SOONER, RATHER THAN LATER.

HE HAS A PHYSICAL PREFERENCE FOR HIS SEXUAL NEEDS.

HE WANTS A FAT WIFE.

[ Voice breaking ] I KNOW SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF HIS HEART

HE MUST CARE.

GUESS HOW FAR I WALKED.

3 FEET?

10 FEET? MOVE.

HE HAS NO IDEA HOW CLOSE TO DEATH I FEEL.

BIG CAN'T BE BEAUTIFUL

WHEN IT MEANS MY DAUGHTER MAY NOT HAVE A MOTHER.

I NEED TO DO THIS FOR HER.

I'M PROUD OF MYSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY.

IT'S REALLY AMAZING.

IT'S BEEN LIKE 7 YEARS SINCE I'VE WORN A PAIR OF JEANS.

FOR HANNAH, I FEEL LIKE WE ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH.

MY LIFE NOW IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FAR I'VE COME IN JUST A YEAR.

HANNAH, DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU A SANDWICH?

YES? OKAY.

A YEAR AGO, I WAS ALMOST BEDRIDDEN.

I WAS READY TO GIVE UP ON LIFE.

BUT TODAY, I'M RE-GAINING CONTROL

OF A LOT OF PARTS OF MY LIFE.

BUT IF I'M NOT CAREFUL, IT'S EASY FOR ME TO GO BACK

TO WHAT I FOUND COMFORTABLE FOR SO LONG.

I HAVE HAD TO REALIZE AND ACKNOWLEDGE

THAT I'M AN ADDICT...

HANNAH, WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH DO YOU WANT?

...AN ADDICT WHO IS AROUND HER DRUG ALL THE TIME.

ANYTHING SWEET IN MY HOUSE,

IF IT'S HERE, I WILL OBSESS ABOUT IT.

THAT FEELING OF COMFORT AND LOVE WHEN YOU OVEREAT ON SUGAR.

MMM!

EVERY SINGLE DAY, I STILL FIGHT THE CRAVINGS.

IT'S REALLY HARD, BUT IT'S WORTH IT...

CHICKEN SALAD.

AND LOOK, I CUT THEM INTO PINWHEELS.

YAY!

...BECAUSE I'M CLOSER TO MY DAUGHTER, HANNAH,

THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.

BEFORE, MY FRIEND BONNIE

WOULD HAVE TO TAKE HER TO DO EVERYTHING.

BEING MUCH MORE ACTIVE

HAS ALLOWED ME TO DO SO MANY THINGS WITH HER.

AND WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO REALLY BOND OVER THAT.

LET'S GO DO SOMETHING. IT'S MY DAY OFF.

LET'S NOT JUST STAY IN THE HOUSE.

LET'S GO TO THE DOWNTOWN PARK TO FEED THE DUCKS.

THAT'D BE FUN.

OKAY. LET'S GO.

YOU GONNA BRUSH THAT HAIR?

MNH-MNH.

NOW I'M ABLE TO BE HER MOTHER,

AND THAT HAS MADE IT ALL WORTH IT FOR ME.

DOING THINGS WITH HANNAH IS WHAT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED.

I JUST WANT TO BE ACTIVE WITH HER.

I JUST WANT TO BE A GOOD MOTHER.

THERE'S DUCKIES.

OH, YEAH.

OH, LOOK, THERE'S SOME BABIES OVER THERE.

WHERE? RIGHT THERE.

THEY'RE SO CUTE!

AW, I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE THEM.

Zsalynn: I HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

SO THAT I COULD HAVE A LIFE WITH MY DAUGHTER,

SO THAT I COULD DO THINGS WITH HER.

NOW THAT I CAN STAND AND WALK, I CAN BE PART OF HER LIFE.

SORRY!

BEFORE, I WOULD JUST BE A BYSTANDER.

I'VE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH.

AND NOW JUST BEING THERE FOR HER,

IT'S AN AMAZING FEELING.

COME ON.

ISN'T THAT FUNNY? ADORABLE.

I HAVE TO STAY ON TRACK

SO I CAN KEEP HAVING THESE AMAZING MOMENTS

WITH MY DAUGHTER.

BUT ALONG WITH THE GOOD THINGS WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS,

THERE HAVE BEEN SOME HARD THINGS.

GARETH WAS NEVER TRULY HAPPY ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS.

I'D RATHER HAVE A SALAD.

I'M NOT BUYING YOU A SALAD.

IF YOU WANT TO EAT GRASS,

YOU CAN GO IN THE GARDEN AND GRAZE.

THINGS WITH GARETH AND I HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD,

AND IT'S CONTINUED TO DRIVE A RIFT BETWEEN US.

I CHANGED IN A WAY THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE.

BYE.

YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY?

IT'S BEEN HARD TO STAY THE COURSE

WHEN MY HUSBAND HASN'T BEEN SUPPORTIVE AT ALL.

DRIVE CAREFUL.

I WANT TO GET HEALTHY,

BUT HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO LOSE THE WEIGHT.

HE RECENTLY TOLD ME HE WANTS ME TO GAIN SOME WEIGHT BACK.

I'M NOT PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY THE WOMAN HE MARRIED.

HE'S NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO ME NOW THAT I'VE LOST THE WEIGHT.

IT'S PUT A LOT OF STRAIN ON OUR MARRIAGE.

AND IT'S AFFECTED MY WEIGHT LOSS AND MY PROGRESS.

IT'S EITHER MAKE MY HUSBAND HAPPY

OR GET HEALTHY FOR MY DAUGHTER.

I CAN'T DO BOTH.

I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THIS DECISION.

Christina: I'M TRAPPED INSIDE THIS BODY THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE IN.

Woman: SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE'S A BURDEN TO ME,

BUT SHE'S NOT A BURDEN.

SHE'S MY PRIDE AND JOY.

Jessica: [ Voice breaking ] MY FEAR IS

THAT SHE MIGHT GO TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP.

Christina: MY WEIGHT IS OUT OF CONTROL.

Dr. Nowzaradan: SHE IS NOT TOO FAR FROM IMMINENT DEATH.

THIS IS A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY DYNAMIC.

WE NEED TO SEPARATE CHRISTINA FROM HER ENABLER.

Christina: I'M READY TO CHANGE. I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

IT'S BEEN A HARD FEW MONTHS.

BUT I THINK IT'S COMPLETELY PAYING OFF.

BE CAREFUL, BABY.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT NOT BEING IN CONTROL?

DON'T START CRYING!

[ Voice breaking ] I'M HAPPY.

Christina: I'M PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF.

I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING MY FREEDOM BACK.

LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW.

IT HAS BEEN SUCH A DRASTIC CHANGE.

IT WAS HUMILIATING TO HAVE SOMEONE

HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU ALL THE TIME.

Zach: I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF CHRISTINA

IN THE FORMS OF CLEANING HER.

IF SHE EVEN GOES TO THE BATHROOM, YOU KNOW,

I HAVE TO HELP HER IN THERE.

Christina: TO HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE BATHE YOU

AND HELP YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM, IT WAS EMBARRASSING.

I'M VERY EXCITED TO FIND OUT WHAT EXACTLY I'M CAPABLE OF

AND FIND OUT WHO I AM.

THANK YOU FOR COOKING. YEAH, THANK YOU.

I LOVE MY LIFE.

I HAVE A LITTLE NEPHEW NOW THAT I ADORE.

I LOVE THAT I CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM WHEN I'M NEEDED.

IT'S THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE NOW.

BEFORE I LOST THE WEIGHT,

I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BEEN ABLE TO HOLD HIM.

BUT NOW I CAN DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP UP WITH HIM.

COME ON, LET'S GO READ. WANT TO GO READ?

OH, NO. HE'S SLEEPY.

NOW I JUST WANT TO GET OUT IN THE WORLD

AND SEE AND DO EVERYTHING I CAN.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHEN YOU LIVE LIFE TRAPPED AND HIDDEN AWAY,

ALL YOU DREAM ABOUT

IS BEING ABLE TO GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING NEW.

GO TO NANA. COME ON.

AND NOW I CAN.

JESS, COME ON.

MY SISTER JESSIE HAS BEEN A GREAT SUPPORT TO ME.

SHE PUSHES ME TO GET OUT THERE

AND DO WAY MORE THAN I WOULD ON MY OWN.

Jessica: YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE BEACH?

YEAH, I'M EXCITED.

YOU GOING SWIMMING? YEAH.

Christina: IT MEANS A LOT TO ME TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS WITH MY SISTER.

I MEAN, BEFORE,

WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

IT PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN HER GOING DOWN THERE,

ENJOYING HERSELF, YOU KNOW,

AND ME WAITING AT HOME TO HEAR HOW IT WENT.

TO ME, THIS IS NEW. THIS IS ALL NEW.

[ LAUGHS ]

COME ON.

COME ON. HOLD ON.

[ LAUGHS ] WHAT IF I FALL, DUDE?

YOU'RE NOT. COME ON.

I STILL HAVE MOMENTS

WHERE I STRUGGLE WITH FEAR AND INSECURITY.

I WANT TO JUST CHICKEN OUT ON THINGS.

BUT MY SISTER PUSHES ME FORWARD.

THE BEST PART IS JUST BEING ABLE TO GET OUT AND DO THINGS,

AND BE ABLE TO COME SWIMMING AT THE BEACH WITH HER.

LAST YEAR, WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

Christina: EVERY NEW EXPERIENCE

JUST MAKES ME WANT A LITTLE BIT MORE.

DID YOU ENJOY TODAY? I SURE DID.

I'D LIKE TO COME BACK AFTER YOU HEAL FROM YOUR NEXT SURGERY.

OH, YEAH. DEFINITELY.

Christina: SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND,

AND I'M SO HAPPY I CAN SPEND TIME WITH HER NOW.

BUT THERE HAVE BEEN OTHERS

THAT HAVEN'T BEEN SO MUCH OF A SUPPORT IN MY LIFE,

AND I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT.

ZACH WAS A GOOD HUSBAND AT ONE POINT IN TIME.

STOP TOUCHING ME.

IT BECAME CLEAR THAT ME BECOMING INDEPENDENT

WAS NOT GOING TO WORK FOR HIM.

ZACH NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT THIS FAR.

AND IT'S KIND OF HARD TO, LIKE, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE SOMEONE TELLING YOU, "OH, YOU CAN'T."

SO I HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

IF SOMEONE'S NOT GONNA SUPPORT THAT,

THEN I HAVE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT THEM.

ZACH AND I ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.

I'M LOSING WEIGHT A LOT FASTER NOW THAT HE'S GONE.

BUT THE EXCESS SKIN I HAVE

IS REALLY GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY PROGRESS.

THE LYMPHEDEMA MASS RIGHT HERE, IT'S PRETTY BIG,

AND IT, I MEAN, JUST HANGS THERE TO THE SIDE.

ALL THE EXCESS SKIN RIGHT HERE, AND THEN MY BAT WINGS.

IT'S UGLY TO ME. HIDEOUS.

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN IT'S OFF.

THE EXCESS SKIN REALLY GETS IN THE WAY OF MY PROGRESS,

BUT THE DOCTOR WANTS ME TO GET DOWN TO 350

BEFORE HE'S GONNA QUALIFY ME FOR SKIN SURGERY.

SO I'M GONNA WORK HARD AND GET TO THAT WEIGHT.

I'LL STOP AT NOTHING.

TODAY, I HAVE A CHECK-IN WITH DR. NOWZARADAN.

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON A SCALE PROBABLY IN A FEW MONTHS,

BECAUSE MY LIFE IS NOW ABOUT BEING HEALTHY,

AND THAT INCLUDES A MENTAL HEALTH.

AND I THINK IT'S REALLY HARD

NOT TO JUDGE YOURSELF BY THAT NUMBER.

THAT NUMBER IS NOT INDICATIVE

OF HOW I FEEL AND HOW MY BODY IS DOING.

ARE YOU GONNA LOOK? NO.

THE DOCTOR MAY WANT ME TO GO FASTER,

BUT I'M GOOD WITH THE WAY I AM.

HEY, ZSALYNN. HOW YOU DOING?

HI. I'M GOOD, THANKS.

ALL RIGHT, SO, FROM DAY ONE I SAW YOU,

YOU LOST 286 POUNDS.

WOW. THAT'S AWESOME. I FEEL AMAZING.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT

TO TAKE SOME EXTRA SKIN OFF OF YOUR ABDOMEN?

NO, NO. IT'S NOT SKIN. IT'S STILL FAT.

NO SKIN THERE. IT'S STILL NICE AND FULL OF FAT.

EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

IT'S PERFECT.

ZSALYNN GET A LOT OF EXCESS SKIN,

AND THIS IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

SHE SAYS SHE FEELS FINE,

BUT ZSALYNN ISN'T BEING COMPLETELY HONEST.

HOW IS EVERYTHING AT HOME?

HOW IS THE SUPPORT THERE?

I SUPPORT MYSELF.

THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. I AM MY OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM.

HOW ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND?

HE WISHES I WOULD GAIN SOME WEIGHT.

GAIN SOME WEIGHT? YES.

[ LAUGHS ]

SO, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

IT IS UNFORTUNATE

TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT ENCOURAGE FAILURE AT HOME.

IT'S A TOXIC SITUATION.

I THINK LACK OF SUPPORT FROM HER HUSBAND

IS LIKELY THE REASON SHE'S HESITANT TO MOVE FORWARD.

THANK YOU.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.

I WILL GIVE HER A COUPLE MONTHS.

ZSALYNN IS CLOSE TO MAKING A DECISION

THAT WILL UNDO ALL HER HARD WORK.

Zsalynn: I'M HAPPY WITH THE PACE THAT I'M LOSING WEIGHT,

AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE SKIN SURGERY

IS THE RIGHT OPTION FOR ME RIGHT NOW.

Christina: I AM SEEKING HELP FOR THE PROBLEMS THAT I HAVE.

THAT WAY, I CAN GET THEM UNDER CONTROL

AND EVENTUALLY REACH MY GOAL.

TODAY, I'M GOING TO MY LYMPHEDEMA APPOINTMENT.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING? YOUR LEGS ARE DOING GOOD?

I'LL HAVE LYMPHEDEMA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

THERE'S NO CURE FOR IT CURRENTLY.

IF MY LYMPHEDEMA GOES UNTREATED,

IT WILL HINDER ME FROM BEING ABLE TO WALK.

IT'LL START GROWING, MASSES WILL COME UP,

AND THEN I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED.

PART OF THE REASON WHY I GOT TO 700 POUNDS

WAS BECAUSE I'D HAD TWO HUGE MASSES

AND I COULDN'T WALK.

YOU'VE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS.

I'M DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

I'M TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN

TO LOSE THE WEIGHT THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAVE TO LOSE

WHERE I QUALIFY FOR SKIN SURGERY.

[ MACHINE BEEPING ]

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GET YOU RIGHT NOW?

NO, I'M FINE.

IT'S JUST KIND OF LIKE A MASSAGE.

IT HELPS MAINTAIN THE SWELLING.

YOU KNOW A BLOOD-PRESSURE CUFF?

WELL, DOES HAVING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TAKEN FEEL GOOD?

SOMETIMES.

YOU'RE WEIRD. [ LAUGHS ]

IN ORDER FOR ME TO MAINTAIN A NORMAL LIFE...

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN THIS ONE'S GONE.

BEFORE THE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THIS.

BACK HOME, THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY PLACE

THAT EVEN KNEW WHAT LYMPHEDEMA WAS, SO...

SLIP THESE OFF.

MY LEGS FEEL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW.

THEY ALWAYS FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER TREATMENT.

THANK YOU.

AFTER SPENDING SO LONG BEING MISERABLE

AND NOT HAVING THE CHANCE TO GET OUT,

MY MENTALITY IS

THAT I AM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING IT TAKES.

AND NOW I HAVE OPPORTUNITIES TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO,

AND I'M GONNA DO IT.

Zsalynn: HANNAH.

IT'S TIME TO GET UP.

I'M TOO TIRED.

IT'S A SCHOOL DAY.

I KNOW.

Zsalynn: THE DYNAMICS HERE AT HOME HAVE CHANGED A LOT.

I KNOW.

COME ON, HANNAH. LET'S GO.

I'VE BEEN SLEEPING IN HANNAH'S ROOM.

NOW GARETH AND I LIVE COMPLETELY SEPARATE LIVES.

YOUR BACKPACK IS IN THE CAR.

LET ME GRAB MY SHOES.

I REALLY HARDLY EVER SEE HIM. OUR PATHS DON'T CROSS.

OKAY, YOU READY? YEAH.

THIS WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY

HAS REALLY FORCED ME TO LOOK INSIDE MYSELF.

I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

GARETH DESERVES TO BE HAPPY.

AND THINGS ARE NOT GOOD RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF TO WORK THROUGH.

I'VE STARTED LOOKING FOR A THERAPIST

THAT WILL HELP ME UNDERSTAND.

I FEEL LIKE I'M AT A CROSSROADS.

I'M NOT SURE HOW WE WOULD RECONCILE AT THIS POINT.

Christina: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE IF I'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT

TO QUALIFY FOR MY NEXT BIG SKIN SURGERY.

I'M NERVOUS.

THE DOCTOR SAID I'D HAVE TO MAKE IT DOWN TO 350 POUNDS

BEFORE HE'D APPROVE ME.

I'VE WORKED HARD TO GET TO THIS GOAL.

I NEED THE SURGERY, AND IF I DON'T GET IT,

I'M SCARED IT'S GONNA SET ME BACK FOR TOO LONG.

SERIOUSLY? AWESOME.

I KNOW I'M READY FOR THE NEXT STEP.

I JUST HOPE THE DOCTOR THINKS I'M READY FOR THE NEXT STEP.

I NEED THIS SURGERY.

HEY, CHRISTINA. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.

HEY.

SO, YOU'VE BEEN DOING GOOD WITH YOUR DIET, HUH?

HOW ABOUT YOUR EXERCISE AND ACTIVITY?

REALLY GOOD WITH THAT.

I WALK ALL THE TIME. I'M DOING THINGS FOR MYSELF.

OKAY. NOW LET ME CHECK YOUR STOMACH AND SEE HOW THINGS ARE.

Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS SURGERY IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT FOR HER

BECAUSE A LARGE AMOUNT OF SKIN NEED TO BE REMOVED.

EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT TOLERANCE TO PAIN.

CHRISTINA HAS VERY LITTLE TOLERANCE TO PAIN.

ANY STOMACH PAIN OR ANYTHING?

THIS WILL BE A COMPLICATED SURGERY,

AND IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH FOR HER.

OKAY.

WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S GONNA BE A BIG OPERATION.

IT'S GONNA TAKE AT LEAST SIX HOUR.

BUT THIS EXTRA SKIN IS GONNA BE A PROBLEM FOR YOU RIGHT NOW,

SO I'M GO AHEAD AND SET YOU UP FOR SKIN SURGERY.

THAT'S AWESOME. OKAY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LOOK DOWN

AND NOT SEE SOMETHING THAT'S PAINFUL.

AND THEN, NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORKED,

THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GONNA GET RID OF THIS SKIN ON MY OWN.

I CAN'T WAIT.

Zsalynn: THIS JOURNEY,

IT'S ABOUT MAKING MYSELF A BETTER PERSON.

NOT JUST ABOUT BEING HEALTHY PHYSICALLY,

BUT GETTING HEALTHY MENTALLY.

I KNOW IT'S TIME TO WRESTLE WITH SOME DEMONS

THAT I'VE AVOIDED FOR TOO LONG.

NOW THAT WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER MUCH,

I'M REALIZING HOW MUCH

THE DISGUSTING THINGS GARETH WOULD SAY

REALLY AFFECTED ME.

SO TODAY I'M GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST.

Madorsky: WELL, WELCOME.

SO, LET'S START WITH KIND OF WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

HOW ARE YOU?

YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE,

WHILE THINGS ON ONE HAND ARE REALLY GOOD,

I STILL HAVE THINGS THAT REALLY BOTHER ME,

MAKE ME WANT TO JUST GO AND, YOU KNOW, EAT WHATEVER.

[ SNIFFLES ]

I FEEL MAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

GOOD. WHAT DO YOU FEEL MAD ABOUT?

I JUST DON'T FEEL VERY LOVEABLE, I GUESS.

I THINK IF I SEE SOMEONE

WHO APPEARS TO REALLY LOVE THEMSELF,

I THINK THEY'RE JUST FAKING.

HMM. I FAKE MY WHOLE LIFE.

SO MAYBE I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE FAKES THEIR LIFE, TOO.

[ Crying ] YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY,

I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY LOVES ME.

THAT'S SO STUPID. I FEEL SO STUPID SAYING THAT.

WELL, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL STUPID.

THAT'S, LIKE, THE MOST NORMAL THING ON THE PLANET.

YEAH.

[ SOBS ]

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DECIDED

TO GO OUT IN THE WORLD AND BE REAL?

I GUESS I'VE JUST BEEN PRETENDING SO LONG,

I DON'T KNOW HOW NOT TO.

THE MORE HONEST WE ARE WITH OURSELVES,

IT SEEMS LIKE THE MORE LOVE CAN COME IN.

'CAUSE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO LOVE A PRETEND VERSION OF OURSELVES,

WE GET TO LOVE, LIKE, THE ACTUAL VERSION OF OURSELVES.

ZSALYNN.

RACHEL. THANK YOU.

IT WAS SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

OKAY.

OKAY. GO GET 'EM.

OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

Zsalynn: [ Voice breaking ] I JUST NEED TO CHANGE MY INSIDE

LIKE I'M CHANGING MY OUTSIDE.

I'VE NEVER FELT LOVED,

AND I THINK I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS WORTHY OF LOVE.

GARETH DIDN'T HELP WITH THAT.

IF GARETH WANTS TO STAY SUCH A DESTRUCTIVE FORCE,

THEN I WILL HAVE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO PICK MY HEALTH OVER MY MARRIAGE.

[ GRUNTS ]

Christina: TODAY, DR. NOWZARADAN IS GETTING RID OF THE EXTRA SKIN

ON MY BELLY AND THE LYMPHEDEMA MASS.

I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT THE SURGERY

JUST BECAUSE THE LAST SURGERIES, I HAD A HARD TIME RECOVERING.

I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE PAINFUL AFTER THE SURGERY,

BUT IT'LL DEFINITELY BE WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN.

YOU READY? YEP.

WITH PAIN COMES STRENGTH.

Dr. Nowzaradan: CHRISTINA GOT A LOT OF EXTRA SKIN,

SO GONNA GO AHEAD AND REMOVE THAT SKIN TODAY.

THAT'S GONNA BE VERY BIG SURGERY.

THE LARGER AMOUNT OF SKIN THAT NEED TO BE REMOVED,

THE MORE CAREFUL WE HAVE TO BE,

MAKE SURE THERE IS NO SIGNIFICANT BLEEDING.

IT CAN AFFECT RECOVERY AND MAY BECOME LIFE-THREATENING.

PROBABLY, BY END OF THE DAY,

WE TIE OVER 400 BLOOD VESSEL TO GET THIS SURGERY DONE.

SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.

BUT IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ROAD FOR CHRISTINA.

SHE ALWAYS HAD LOW TOLERANCE TO PAIN.

SO, THIS NOT GONNA BE EASY.

Christina: I HAD NO IDEA THE PAIN WOULD BE THIS BAD.

OKAY.

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, MY PAIN IS ABOVE A 10 RIGHT NOW.

IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.

YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'RE OKAY.

MY ONLY CONCERN NOW IS THAT SHE DOESN'T OVERDO IT.

I DON'T WANT HER TO HAVE TO BE RUSHED BACK TO THE HOSPITAL

FOR OPEN STITCHES OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

Christina: IF I'D KNOWN IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD,

I'M NOT SURE I WOULD HAVE GOT THE SURGERY.

BUT MY FAMILY'S LOVE AND SUPPORT IS WHAT KEEPS ME STRONG

AND KEEPS ME MOTIVATED THROUGH THE PAIN.

IF YOU HAVE TO THROW UP, YOU CAN.

I'M READY TO GET HOME AND SEE MY NEPHEW.

THERE YOU GO, GIRL. LOOK UP. LOOK UP.

THE SOONER I HEAL, THE SOONER I CAN GET BACK

TO LIVING MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO.

Zsalynn: HANNAH, I'M GOING RIGHT NOW TO THE GYM.

WHILE I'M GONE,

CAN YOU PLEASE PICK UP YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES

AND GET THEM TO THE GARAGE?

OVER THE PAST MONTH,

I STARTED DEALING WITH SOME OF THE THINGS I LEARNED IN THERAPY.

I WASN'T PUSHING AS HARD AS I COULD

BECAUSE I WAS BUYING IN TO A LIE.

I DO NEED TO BECOME HAPPY WITH MYSELF,

AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

IN THE PAST YEAR, MY BODY HAS CHANGED SO MUCH.

I COULDN'T EVEN STAND BEFORE.

MY THIGHS WOULD START TO SHAKE.

I WOULD START SWEATING PROFUSELY.

NOW I'VE LOST A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT

AND EVERYTHING IS EASIER.

BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I WEIGH 600 POUNDS.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT A LOT,

AND I FEEL LIKE

I REALLY HAD A BREAKTHROUGH IN THAT THERAPY SESSION

WHEN I WAS LIKE, "I'M SICK OF BEING FAKE."

I'M SICK OF PRETENDING THAT MY LIFE IS A WAY THAT IT'S NOT.

THE LAST 8 OR 10 YEARS, I'VE BEEN FAKING IT,

'CAUSE I WAS JUST UNHAPPY, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT.

I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.

I'M TRYING TO GET PAST THAT FAKE ME

AND JUST TRYING TO FIND MY AUTHENTIC SELF.

AND THAT REAL ME IS READY TO BE HEALTHY.

AND I'M WILLING TO WORK HARD TO DO IT.

BYE, GUYS.

BYE. HAVE A GOOD ONE.

THANKS. YOU TOO.

Christina: OW.

Man: ALL RIGHT. YOU READY NOW?

OW, OW, OW.

WE JUST HAVE TO GET TO THE WHEELCHAIR, OKAY?

JUST GO AT YOUR OWN SPEED.

OW. OW.

I GOT YOU. OH, OW.

Jessica: THIS MORNING, CHRISTINA GOT UP,

AND SHE WASN'T FEELING SO WELL.

AND SHE FAINTED WHENEVER WE WAS TRYING TO GET HER IN THE BED,

SO WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.

YOU GOT TO BREATHE. YOU GOT TO BREATHE, HONEY.

SHE JUST GOT SICK ALL AT ONCE YESTERDAY,

AND IT GOT WORSE.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER.

Christina: I'M FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.

I'M TRAPPED IN A BED AGAIN.

IT FEELS LIKE I'M ENDING UP RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED,

AND IT'S SO SCARY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI, CHRISTINA. HI, DR. NOW.

AND HOW'S YOUR STOMACH FEELING? LOT OF PAIN?

YEAH.

IT'S LIKE TWO SHARP KNIVES

JUST COMING IN ON THE SIDE OF IT.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: CHRISTINA HAS BEEN PUSHING HERSELF

A LITTLE BIT TOO HARD.

SHE MAY HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF MALNUTRITION

BECAUSE SHE'S ONLY BEEN EATING PROTEIN SHAKES.

AT THIS POINT, I'M GOING TO KEEP CHRISTINA

IN THE HOSPITAL FOR NEXT MONTH

AND MAKE SURE THAT SHE GET THE NUTRITION SHE NEEDS

AND SHE DOESN'T PUSH HERSELF TOO HARD.

THIS IS GONNA TAKE ABOUT TWO MONTH TO HEAL.

IT'S GONNA BE A SLOW PROCESS.

YOU GOT TO BE STRONG, AND YOU GOT TO BE GOOD, HUH?

OKAY. THANK YOU, DR. NOW.

Christina: I'M FRUSTRATED THAT IF I PUSHED MYSELF TOO HARD,

THAT I CAUSED ALL THIS TO TAKE LONGER.

[ Crying ] IT'S HARD,

BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT IT.

THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST MONTHS OF MY LIFE.

BUT THE PAIN HAS GONE AWAY.

Tammie: BEEN A LONG MONTH.

I THINK SHE'S PRETTY ANXIOUS AND EXCITED

TO GET UP AND GET OUT OF HERE,

AND SHE'S LOST QUITE A BIT OF WEIGHT.

Christina: I FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS HERE.

BUT I'M NERVOUS ABOUT WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY.

[ GASPS ]

OH, THAT'S AWESOME.

DUDE, I'M ACTUALLY UNDER 300 BY, LIKE, A LITTLE BIT.

299.60.

THAT'S COOL.

Christina: LAST YEAR, I WAS 708.

IT'S OVER 400 POUNDS LOST.

I REALLY, REALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT.

CHRISTINA HAS DONE WELL.

I AM PROUD OF HER PROGRESS.

I THINK SHE'S READY TO GO HOME AND RECOVER THERE.

THERE WAS TIMES OVER THIS PAST MONTH

THAT I THOUGHT THAT I MAY HAVE MADE A MISTAKE WITH THE SURGERY.

NOW I KNOW IT WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE.

YES, MA'AM.

IT WAS JUST HARD.

I'M JUST EXCITED

'CAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH MORE THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO DO.

I'M NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE YET, BUT I'M GETTING THERE.

BYE.

AND I WILL GET THERE.

EVERY DAY ON THIS JOURNEY, I TAKE MY LIFE BACK,

AND NOW I'M TAKING BACK MY HOME.

GARETH HASN'T FOUND MUCH GOOD IN MY CHANGES.

IT'S TIME FOR US TO ADMIT IT'S OVER.

FOR MANY, MANY YEARS, I'VE BEEN TRAPPED --

IN MY BODY, IN MY MARRIAGE.

I WAS A PRISONER IN SO MANY WAYS.

SO TODAY, I'M PACKING UP GARETH'S THINGS,

AND HE'S MOVING OUT.

OUR HOUSE HAD BECOME A WAR ZONE.

I DON'T THINK GARETH OR I

WANT HANNAH TO BE RAISED IN THIS KIND OF ENVIRONMENT.

I'M STILL PROCESSING THE WHOLE "WHY AM I UNLOVABLE?" FEELING.

GARETH ABSOLUTELY MADE ME FEEL UNLOVABLE.

[ Voice breaking ] I HATE THAT FEELING.

BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.

NOT HAVING GARETH AROUND

WILL DEFINITELY ENHANCE MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY.

I FEEL LIKE HANNAH AND I ARE LUCKY

TO BE ABLE TO STAY HERE IN THIS HOUSE.

IT'S GONNA FEEL LIKE A FRESH START.

GOING FORWARD,

THIS HOUSE IS GONNA BE THE HANNAH-AND-ZSA ZONE.

I'M VERY SCARED ABOUT BEING OUT ON MY OWN.

THE IDEA OF BEING SINGLE IS REALLY SCARY.

BUT THE IDEA OF BEING STUCK IN THIS SITUATION

IS WAY MORE SCARY.

THIS IS A STEP THAT I, TWO YEARS AGO,

THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE.

THIS STEP IS TREMENDOUS, AND I'M READY FOR IT.

Christina: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN.

I'M USUALLY A LITTLE NERVOUS GOING TO THE DOCTOR,

BUT I'M EXCITED TODAY.

BUT I HAVEN'T MADE SOME OF THE BEST CHOICES

OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS.

WHENEVER I'D EAT REAL FOOD,

AFTER TWO BITES, I WOULD FEEL SICK,

SO I'VE JUST BEEN RELYING ON PROTEIN SHAKES THIS WHOLE TIME.

I DON'T RECOGNIZE MYSELF ANYMORE.

I DON'T HAVE A MEMORY OF BEING THIS SMALL.

EVEN AS A 10-YEAR-OLD, I WAS IN A SIZE 20.

Woman: OKAY, IT'S 239.9.

YAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DRASTIC CHANGE I'VE MADE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO. HEY.

HOW YOU DOING, CHRISTINA? GOOD.

468.

THAT'S GOOD. HOW IS YOUR PROTEIN INTAKE?

EVERYTHING THAT I PUT IN LITERALLY HURTS MY STOMACH.

AND PROPER NUTRITION'S GONNA BE ESSENTIAL FOR YOU.

SO SOME OF THE FOOD,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TOUGH IT OUT AND EAT IT

OR YOU'RE GONNA HAVE MALNUTRITION.

OKAY. OKAY?

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M GLAD ABOUT CHRISTINA'S WEIGHT LOSS,

BUT MY CONCERN IS THAT IT IS DONE RIGHT.

TAKE SMALL AMOUNTS,

THEN GRADUALLY YOU CAN INCREASE THE AMOUNT THAT YOU TAKE.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU IN A COUPLE WEEKS.

SOMETIMES, THE PENDULUM CAN SWING TO THE OTHER SIDE,

AND THESE PATIENTS BECOME ANOREXIC.

OVERALL, I AM VERY PROUD OF HER,

BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT IS NOT THE ROUTE THAT SHE'S TAKING.

Christina: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE IT THIS FAR.

AND I AM NOT GONNA WASTE MY SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE.

I NEED TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF.

Zsalynn: OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS,

IT'S BEEN JUST HANNAH AND I.

AND I'VE LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

WITHOUT GARETH, I'VE MADE SUCH GREAT PROGRESS.

I'VE DECIDED TO HAVE SOME PROFESSIONAL PORTRAITS TAKEN

FOR MYSELF AND HANNAH 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY.

FOR THE LONGEST TIME,

I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE IN A PICTURE.

HI. HI. HOW ARE YOU?

BUT WHEN KIDS LOOK AT PICTURES OF THEIR PARENTS,

THEY DON'T SEE "FAT MOM" OR "SKINNY MOM."

THEY JUST SEE MOM.

PERFECT.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT I'VE LEARNED

IS THAT I'M A GOOD MOTHER.

LET ME SEE THOSE TEETH.

NNN. [ LAUGHS ]

Zsalynn: TAKING PHOTOS WITH MY DAUGHTER --

NOT OF MY DAUGHTER, BUT WITH MY DAUGHTER --

IT'S ONE OF THE LITTLE THINGS THAT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY.

AW, LOOK. THOSE ARE REALLY GOOD.

THINGS HAVE CHANGED A LOT.

I'VE BEEN DOING WELL,

AND I KNOW I'VE BEEN GETTING HEALTHIER.

I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HOW FAR I'VE COME.

I JUST WANT TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS.

HOW'S THE EXTRA SKIN DOING IN YOUR STOMACH?

IT'S JUST... IT'S JUST THERE.

LET'S GET YOU UP HERE AND LET ME LOOK AT IT.

OKAY.

Zsalynn: I KNOW THE DOCTOR THINKS

I'M READY FOR SKIN SURGERY,

SO I'M CONSIDERING THAT.

I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE VERY POSITIVE THING,

TO HAVE THIS REMOVED.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I WAS CONCERNED

ABOUT NOT HAVING SEEN HER FOR SIX MONTHS.

I'M GLAD SHE'S BACK, AND SHE'S MAKING PROGRESS.

ALL RIGHT. I THINK YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

I'M GRATEFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT I'M WHERE I AM TODAY.

NOW I CAN REALLY BE HER MOM.

I DON'T WANT TO MISS ONE SINGLE DAY OF IT.

WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY REALLY GAVE ME MY LIFE BACK.

BEFORE I HAD SURGERY, I WAS IN A DARK, LONELY PLACE.

AND NOW...

I NEVER THOUGHT LIFE COULD BE THIS GOOD.

Christina: THE PAST COUPLE YEARS HAVE BEEN AMAZING.

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR.

THIS IS NOT HOW I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED MY LIFE AT ALL.

TODAY, ME AND MY SISTER,

WE'RE GOING FOR AN INDOOR SKYDIVING EXPERIENCE.

I WANT TO EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING.

I WANT TO DO THE THINGS I WANT TO DO.

I'M PROBABLY MORE NERVOUS THAN SHE IS,

JUST BECAUSE I'M UNSURE HOW IT'S GONNA GO BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

I'VE JUST ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT MY WEIGHT'S GONNA HOLD ME BACK

BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN "YOU'RE TOO BIG TO DO THIS,"

OR "YOU'RE TOO BIG TO DO THAT."

AND NOW I CAN DO ANYTHING.

OF COURSE I GET NERVOUS STILL,

BUT I PUSH MYSELF A LITTLE BIT MORE NOW.

A YEAR AGO, I LITERALLY COULD NOT WALK EIGHT FEET,

AND THERE WAS A POINT WHERE I DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE.

LIFE JUST WASN'T WORTH LIVING.

AND NOW IT'S LIKE I GET TO EXPERIENCE LIFE.

KNOWING THAT I WAS ABLE TO GET IN THERE

AND THE AIR DID BLOW ME UP AND I WAS ABLE TO FLY,

IT HELPED MY MIND BE LIKE,

"OKAY, YOU'RE NOT THAT 700-POUND GIRL."

YOU DID AWESOME.

I'M CURRENTLY TRYING TO WORK SOLID FOODS BACK INTO MY DIET.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

IT'S A SLOW PROCESS,

BECAUSE FOR A LONG TIME NOW I'VE ONLY BEEN DOING SHAKES.

I'LL JUST HAVE GRILLED CHICKEN.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED.

I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY PROGRESS.

I TAKE CARE OF MY BODY.

IF IT'S SOMETHING BAD, IT'S NOT GOING IN MY BODY.

OH, MY GOD. YOU NEED TO TRY THIS.

I KNOW YOU LIKE POTATOES.

I LIKE WHO I AM NOW.

IT'S PRETTY AMAZING TO BE THE NEW ME.

OH, YEAH?

WHEN I WAS OVER 700 POUNDS, I DIDN'T FEEL YOUNG.

I FELT OLDER. I FELT TRAPPED.

I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYMORE.

[ LAUGHS ]

I WANT TO FULLY EXPERIENCE LIFE.

BEING ABLE TO LIVE LIKE A 24-YEAR-OLD NOW IS AMAZING.

HEY.

WOULD YOU LIKE A RIDE TONIGHT?

SURE. YEAH? HOP IN.

Christina: THE FACT THAT I DID WASTE ALL THEM YEARS,

IT HURTS.

AND NOW I GET TO LIVE,

SO THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GONNA DO.