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All language subtitles for South.Park.S24E04.Post.Covid.Covid.Returns.2021.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.1400MB.DD5.1.x264-GalaxyRG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,453 --> 00:00:06,689 (indistinct chatter) 2 00:00:11,494 --> 00:00:13,729 * * 3 00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:20,369 You guys! You guys! 4 00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:22,871 Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe this! 5 00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:25,341 -Dude, what? -You guys... (panting) 6 00:00:26,675 --> 00:00:29,878 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class. 7 00:00:29,978 --> 00:00:32,448 -So? -So? 8 00:00:32,548 --> 00:00:34,417 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class! 9 00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,652 That means we are gonna sit courtside 10 00:00:36,752 --> 00:00:38,387 at the Denver Nuggets game next Saturday! 11 00:00:38,487 --> 00:00:39,688 (muffled shouting) 12 00:00:39,788 --> 00:00:40,623 What? 13 00:00:40,723 --> 00:00:42,425 Ugh! Heather Williams' mom 14 00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:43,626 works for Coors in Golden! 15 00:00:43,726 --> 00:00:45,394 Coors is the second biggest sponsor 16 00:00:45,494 --> 00:00:47,096 of the Pepsi Center where the Nuggets play! 17 00:00:47,196 --> 00:00:48,831 We tell Heather that if she doesn't get us courtside seats, 18 00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:50,699 then everyone's gonna know she farted in P.E. class! 19 00:00:50,799 --> 00:00:53,902 Whoa. I've never seen a Nuggets game in person. 20 00:00:54,002 --> 00:00:56,004 Well, we're about to! All we have to do is show Heather 21 00:00:56,105 --> 00:00:57,706 we have proof and she'll do whatever we want! 22 00:00:57,806 --> 00:00:59,108 What proof do you have? 23 00:00:59,208 --> 00:01:00,543 Kenny had his phone out! 24 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:01,844 He got a photo of Heather right when she farted. 25 00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:04,713 Look! Isn't this awesome, you guys?! 26 00:01:04,813 --> 00:01:07,116 -Let's go, Nuggets! -(clapping rhythmically) 27 00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:09,385 ALL: Let's go, Nuggets! 28 00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:12,087 Let's go, Nuggets! 29 00:01:12,188 --> 00:01:14,022 (school bell rings) 30 00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:18,527 Kids! Kids, can I have your attention, please. 31 00:01:18,627 --> 00:01:22,097 Kids, listen up. This is an emergency. 32 00:01:22,198 --> 00:01:26,869 Everything is fine but... we are sending you all home. 33 00:01:26,969 --> 00:01:28,371 (confused chatter) 34 00:01:28,471 --> 00:01:30,773 Some of you may have heard but there's a little virus 35 00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:33,609 going around and the school district wants to make sure 36 00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:36,145 we're all safe, so we're shutting down 37 00:01:36,245 --> 00:01:38,347 the school for about two weeks. 38 00:01:38,447 --> 00:01:40,516 Two weeks?! Yippie! 39 00:01:40,616 --> 00:01:42,318 (excited chatter) 40 00:01:42,418 --> 00:01:43,719 Oh, not now. 41 00:01:43,819 --> 00:01:45,988 Your parents are here to pick you up. So let's go. 42 00:01:46,088 --> 00:01:48,891 I'm sure it's nothing; we'll see you in a couple of weeks. 43 00:01:48,991 --> 00:01:51,059 You guys-- you guys, Heather Thompson 44 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,529 farted in P.E. class! Guys? 45 00:01:57,099 --> 00:01:59,702 ADULT STAN: Every night I have the same dream, 46 00:01:59,802 --> 00:02:02,037 and relive the whole thing again... 47 00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,607 ANDREW CUOMO: It's called social distancing. 48 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,642 If we stay six feet apart from each other 49 00:02:06,742 --> 00:02:08,244 and wear a mask... 50 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:11,113 And also I'm shutting down the city and I'm a pervert. 51 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,216 And we've got to get control of this thing! 52 00:02:13,316 --> 00:02:15,618 RANDY: I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you, 53 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:16,952 -that's all. -SHARON: You think 54 00:02:17,052 --> 00:02:19,087 I like being here every day with you?! 55 00:02:19,188 --> 00:02:20,823 RANDY: I am much easier to get along with 56 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,691 during a stay-at-home order! 57 00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:25,461 * Happy birthday to you * 58 00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:29,432 * Happy birthday, dear Stan... * 59 00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:33,569 * * 60 00:02:38,807 --> 00:02:41,944 Come on, Stan, we're gonna visit Grandpa! 61 00:02:42,044 --> 00:02:44,247 Hi, Grandpa! 62 00:02:44,347 --> 00:02:45,848 OTHERS: Hi, Grandpa! 63 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:49,017 RANDY: Isn't it great to see Grandpa, kids? 64 00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:50,786 Look, let's just face it, you guys. 65 00:02:50,886 --> 00:02:53,722 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other. 66 00:02:54,857 --> 00:02:56,759 I hate this stupid farm. 67 00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:01,930 In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic. 68 00:03:02,898 --> 00:03:04,500 SHARON: Oh, God, no! 69 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,002 My little girl! (sobbing) 70 00:03:07,102 --> 00:03:09,171 Oh, no! Oh, God! 71 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,806 * * 72 00:03:10,906 --> 00:03:15,278 Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream 73 00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:20,115 because the whole pandemic has started all over again. 74 00:03:26,322 --> 00:03:28,557 * * 75 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,035 * * 76 00:03:55,651 --> 00:03:58,954 NEWSMAN: A brand-new variant of the COVID virus has emerged 77 00:03:59,054 --> 00:04:01,490 in Colorado and now panic and fear 78 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:02,991 spreads throughout the world. 79 00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:05,127 The new outbreak started with the death 80 00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:07,363 of renowned scientist Kenny McCormick, 81 00:04:07,463 --> 00:04:10,699 and has therefore been named Kenny McCormikron. 82 00:04:10,799 --> 00:04:13,936 It's been 38 years since the pandemic first started, 83 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:17,005 and people are beginning to say enough is enough. 84 00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:20,075 The town of South Park has been put under strict lockdown 85 00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:22,010 to try and contain the new variant. 86 00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:26,615 Nobody is allowed in or out for the next 20 to 30 years. 87 00:04:26,715 --> 00:04:28,250 (siren wailing) 88 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,085 MALE VOICE: Attention. You are under quarantine. 89 00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:33,155 Someone in your community is not vaccinated. 90 00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:36,825 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper if possible. 91 00:04:36,925 --> 00:04:39,895 Attention. You are under quarantine. 92 00:04:39,995 --> 00:04:42,197 Someone in your community is not vaccinated. 93 00:04:42,297 --> 00:04:45,300 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper 94 00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:46,835 if possible. 95 00:04:46,935 --> 00:04:49,171 Attention. You are under quarantine. 96 00:04:49,271 --> 00:04:51,607 Someone in your community is not... 97 00:04:51,707 --> 00:04:55,544 (woman speaking Japanese) 98 00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:58,113 MALE VOICE 2: Come on inside and rejuvenate. 99 00:04:58,213 --> 00:05:01,249 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max. 100 00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:03,051 Taste the difference. 101 00:05:03,151 --> 00:05:05,788 (soft electronic music playing) 102 00:05:07,122 --> 00:05:08,724 Welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max. 103 00:05:08,824 --> 00:05:10,158 Just one joining us today? 104 00:05:11,126 --> 00:05:12,294 Listen to me very carefully 105 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,530 and try not to change your expression. 106 00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:16,899 They could be listening. 107 00:05:16,999 --> 00:05:20,936 This... is the last sprout of Tegridy Weed. 108 00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:24,139 We have to get it somewhere outside of town. 109 00:05:24,239 --> 00:05:26,375 Sir, the whole town is under quarantine. 110 00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:28,176 Nothing's allowed in or out. 111 00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:29,878 We have to replicate it. 112 00:05:29,978 --> 00:05:32,748 It's the only way for people to have Tegridy again. 113 00:05:32,848 --> 00:05:34,883 Uh, okay, sir, if you don't want to eat, 114 00:05:34,983 --> 00:05:36,385 then I'll need to ask you to leave. 115 00:05:36,485 --> 00:05:38,921 Don't you understand this could change the world. 116 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:40,989 Maybe the Denny's side of you doesn't care, 117 00:05:41,089 --> 00:05:43,959 but the Applebee's side of you must want to help! 118 00:05:44,059 --> 00:05:45,528 There you are, Mr. Marsh. 119 00:05:45,628 --> 00:05:48,063 Come on. Time to go back to the old folks home. 120 00:05:48,163 --> 00:05:50,866 I can't go back! Everyone listen! 121 00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:53,936 This little sprout is humanity's only hope! 122 00:05:54,036 --> 00:05:56,672 Let's go back to the retirement home. 123 00:05:56,772 --> 00:05:58,507 We can get you some nice ice cream, okay? 124 00:05:58,607 --> 00:06:01,977 I don't want ice cream, I want my species to survive! 125 00:06:02,077 --> 00:06:04,480 -Back off! -Let's go, Mr. Marsh! 126 00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,449 Don't make this difficult for us! 127 00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:08,316 (yelling) 128 00:06:12,488 --> 00:06:14,823 Why, you son of a bitch. 129 00:06:20,262 --> 00:06:22,364 (grunting) 130 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:29,505 -Come on, Mr. Marsh. -Who...? 131 00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:33,876 It's me, Token. We know about the pangolin. 132 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:37,079 Your son and his friends are trying to stop all this 133 00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:39,948 from happening. We need to get you to Kenny's lab. 134 00:06:43,285 --> 00:06:46,822 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be attempting to 135 00:06:46,922 --> 00:06:49,257 travel back in time in order to stop 136 00:06:49,357 --> 00:06:52,060 the COVID pandemic from ever happening. 137 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,896 WENDY: At the moment Kenny time traveled, 138 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,098 he blew all the transformers here in the lab. 139 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,233 If you're going to try and replicate his work, 140 00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:00,035 we'll be doing it at half capacity. 141 00:07:00,135 --> 00:07:02,170 The bigger problem is that we can't even get 142 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:04,206 into half of Kenny's equipment. 143 00:07:04,306 --> 00:07:07,242 We have access to the machines, but the codes to operate 144 00:07:07,342 --> 00:07:10,445 those machines are behind an 86-Mag firewall 145 00:07:10,546 --> 00:07:11,847 with restricted access, 146 00:07:11,947 --> 00:07:13,982 requiring an in-person vocal scan of either 147 00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:17,285 Kenny McCormick or of his associate, Victor Chouce. 148 00:07:17,385 --> 00:07:20,756 But Kenny is dead and Chouce is locked away in a mental asylum. 149 00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:22,958 So we go to the asylum and convince them 150 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,193 to let us bring Chouce here, easy. 151 00:07:25,293 --> 00:07:26,428 There's more. 152 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,063 (alarm blaring over video) 153 00:07:28,163 --> 00:07:30,499 When Kenny bent time, the negative ions 154 00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:32,568 actually killed everyone else in the room. 155 00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:36,004 We have to find some thin, reflective material 156 00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:38,306 that can be worn to bounce the energy. 157 00:07:38,406 --> 00:07:41,443 We're going to need... some aluminum foil. 158 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,547 * * 159 00:07:44,647 --> 00:07:46,448 Jesus Christ. 160 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,850 Aluminum foil? 161 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:50,619 That's impossible, Wendy. It's the fucking future. 162 00:07:50,719 --> 00:07:52,220 All the aluminum foil is stuck 163 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,322 out on cargo ships in Long Beach. 164 00:07:54,422 --> 00:07:55,591 Yeah, I know. 165 00:07:55,691 --> 00:07:58,927 Look, guys, I know this is all a long shot. 166 00:07:59,027 --> 00:08:01,163 But Kenny went back in time and got COVID 167 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,231 because it destroyed our friendship. 168 00:08:03,331 --> 00:08:06,969 All of this is our fault, and we can't do it without you. 169 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,905 I'll help however I can to stop this stupid pandemic 170 00:08:10,005 --> 00:08:11,206 once and for all. 171 00:08:11,306 --> 00:08:13,275 Yeah, I can't be stuck in quarantine 172 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:16,712 my whole life-- I gotta get back to my job doing future comedy. 173 00:08:16,812 --> 00:08:18,547 Speakin' of which, what's the biggest 174 00:08:18,647 --> 00:08:21,316 difference between a Christian man and a lesbian? 175 00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:23,251 Absolutely nothing. They are totally the same 176 00:08:23,351 --> 00:08:25,120 and deserve to be treated as such. 177 00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:28,090 Thanks, everybody. We can do this! 178 00:08:28,190 --> 00:08:29,858 Wendy, you guys stay here and try 179 00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:31,159 to get the lab running again. 180 00:08:31,259 --> 00:08:33,095 Kyle and I will go get Victor Chouce. 181 00:08:33,195 --> 00:08:35,263 Tweek and Craig, you guys find some aluminum foil. 182 00:08:35,363 --> 00:08:38,400 -How the hell do we do that?! -Just start looking! 183 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:39,635 Come on, guys! 184 00:08:40,535 --> 00:08:43,706 -All right, let's do this! -I'll drive, get in the back. 185 00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:47,375 Alexa! Set a course for South Park Mental Asylum. 186 00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:54,416 Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum. 187 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,019 Do you ever think about how the way 188 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,054 you act affects other people? 189 00:08:59,154 --> 00:09:01,757 Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now. 190 00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:03,926 Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that. 191 00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:06,194 Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue. 192 00:09:06,294 --> 00:09:09,031 Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum 193 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,766 and we don't know where it is. 194 00:09:10,866 --> 00:09:13,035 -Who's this? -It's just my Alexa. 195 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,938 "Just my Alexa"? You're a piece of shit! 196 00:09:16,038 --> 00:09:18,473 You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit! 197 00:09:18,573 --> 00:09:21,610 -Alexa... -Find the asylum your fucking self! 198 00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,578 Find it your fucking self. 199 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:24,780 (sighs) 200 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,348 You do whatever the fuck you want 201 00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:29,051 and just destroy the people around you. 202 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,054 And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier 203 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,289 available from one of your favorite sellers. 204 00:09:34,389 --> 00:09:35,624 Would you like to know more?! 205 00:09:35,724 --> 00:09:38,160 Yes, yes, I'd like to know more. 206 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:41,997 (sniffles) Okay. The newest humidifiers from Walgreens Max 207 00:09:42,097 --> 00:09:44,366 are actually tankless and use up to 50% 208 00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:46,601 less water than standard humidifiers. 209 00:09:46,702 --> 00:09:50,505 Okay, that's really cool. Uh, add that to my shopping list. 210 00:09:50,605 --> 00:09:53,341 Well, and people who were interested 211 00:09:53,441 --> 00:09:55,911 in tankless humidifiers were also interested in 212 00:09:56,011 --> 00:09:57,412 three-pack filters. 213 00:09:57,512 --> 00:09:59,614 That's great. Do those have the Prime delivery? 214 00:09:59,715 --> 00:10:01,549 Dude, we don't really have time for this. 215 00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:03,819 Dude, shut the fuck up! 216 00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:06,154 * * 217 00:10:09,725 --> 00:10:12,961 Please help see us through this new COVID variant. 218 00:10:13,061 --> 00:10:15,630 Please help us to make it through this 219 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:17,032 difficult quarantine. 220 00:10:17,132 --> 00:10:19,634 And let people see that... 221 00:10:19,735 --> 00:10:23,939 as bad as COVID is, it's not as bad as diabetes. 222 00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:25,407 (door opens) 223 00:10:25,507 --> 00:10:26,875 Hello? 224 00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:29,644 Sorry, the church is closed due to the COVID variant. 225 00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:33,749 Father, please. Will you protect my family? 226 00:10:33,849 --> 00:10:35,718 Rabbi Cartman? 227 00:10:35,818 --> 00:10:37,986 My family isn't safe, Father. 228 00:10:38,086 --> 00:10:40,422 I realize now that Kyle Broflovski 229 00:10:40,522 --> 00:10:42,457 will stop at nothing to break us apart. 230 00:10:42,557 --> 00:10:44,760 Uncle Kyle hates us because we're Jewish. 231 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,929 And he's a self-hating Jew. 232 00:10:47,029 --> 00:10:48,731 Uncle Kyle, no, no, no! 233 00:10:48,831 --> 00:10:50,332 Menorah, hold your brother. 234 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:52,701 As a fellow person of faith, Father, 235 00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:53,969 I'm begging you to help us. 236 00:10:54,069 --> 00:10:56,071 Well, well, what can I do, Rabbi? 237 00:10:56,171 --> 00:10:58,707 Kyle has already convinced a bunch of people 238 00:10:58,807 --> 00:11:00,275 to join his cause. 239 00:11:00,375 --> 00:11:03,211 I have to create my own secret rebellion to stop him. 240 00:11:03,311 --> 00:11:05,013 Eric, please, I'm scared 241 00:11:05,113 --> 00:11:07,282 and I don't understand all of this. 242 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,585 Kyle wants to go back in time... 243 00:11:10,685 --> 00:11:14,156 and change the past so that you and I possibly never even meet. 244 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:18,593 If I never met you, my life would be meaningless. 245 00:11:18,693 --> 00:11:23,331 Mine, too. You are my whole world. 246 00:11:23,431 --> 00:11:28,003 I promise you that I will do everything I can to stop Kyle... 247 00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:30,472 and save our family. 248 00:11:30,572 --> 00:11:32,607 * * 249 00:11:37,946 --> 00:11:39,581 (bird cawing) 250 00:11:41,249 --> 00:11:43,051 I understand that you wish 251 00:11:43,151 --> 00:11:44,686 to see one of our inmates. 252 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,755 -Victor Chouce? -Yeah. 253 00:11:46,855 --> 00:11:48,757 We-we have a lot of questions for Mr. Chouce. 254 00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:52,427 He's an extremely dangerous and diluted individual. 255 00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:54,863 We don't take visitations lightly. 256 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:56,731 What exactly did he do? 257 00:11:56,832 --> 00:11:58,533 Unspeakable things. 258 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:02,805 He has destroyed lives. This entire state has never seen 259 00:12:02,905 --> 00:12:04,372 a monster of his magnitude. 260 00:12:04,472 --> 00:12:06,775 I've lived in South Park all my life 261 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,310 and I've never heard of him. 262 00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:11,446 That's because Victor has been hidden from view... 263 00:12:11,546 --> 00:12:14,682 ever since the pandemic began. 264 00:12:14,783 --> 00:12:18,553 Victor's parents were very protective during the pandemic. 265 00:12:18,653 --> 00:12:20,588 Even when the stay-at-home orders were lifted 266 00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:23,558 his parents kept him locked away in his room. 267 00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:27,395 Victor longed to go outside and play. 268 00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:33,335 Then 2021 happened, people thought the pandemic was over. 269 00:12:33,435 --> 00:12:35,537 Victor's parents left him grounded in his room 270 00:12:35,637 --> 00:12:38,573 while they went to see a movie in Denver. 271 00:12:38,673 --> 00:12:40,242 They never returned. 272 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:44,212 Victor was grounded in his room for over 16 years. 273 00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:48,216 His name isn't Chouce. 274 00:12:48,316 --> 00:12:50,718 It's Chaos. 275 00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:59,094 We are not responsible for what happens to you in there. 276 00:13:00,795 --> 00:13:02,130 I warn you... 277 00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:04,833 you are not going to like what you're about to see. 278 00:13:15,777 --> 00:13:17,980 * * 279 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,582 (clears throat) Excuse me. 280 00:13:20,682 --> 00:13:21,850 Hello? 281 00:13:26,754 --> 00:13:28,656 Well, hey, fellas! 282 00:13:28,756 --> 00:13:30,225 Butters... 283 00:13:30,325 --> 00:13:32,194 I thought you were just the guards again. 284 00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:34,329 It's good to see some new faces in here. 285 00:13:34,429 --> 00:13:36,798 I'll bet you're looking to make yourselves some money, huh? 286 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,733 Well, you came to the right guy. 287 00:13:38,833 --> 00:13:40,702 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos. 288 00:13:40,802 --> 00:13:43,305 There's a whole lot of people that can tell you how much money 289 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,874 Vic Chaos made them, so don't just take my word for it. 290 00:13:45,974 --> 00:13:48,877 Butters, it's your old friends Stan and Kyle. 291 00:13:48,977 --> 00:13:52,247 Stan and Kyle. Stan and Kyle... 292 00:13:52,347 --> 00:13:53,748 I know what you're thinking. 293 00:13:53,848 --> 00:13:56,451 You're thinking, "What can Vic Chaos do for me?" 294 00:13:56,551 --> 00:13:58,186 We all wanna be happy, right? 295 00:13:58,286 --> 00:14:00,255 We all want our little piece of the apple pie! 296 00:14:00,355 --> 00:14:01,890 Everyone else is out making a buck, 297 00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:03,926 why shouldn't you guys be making the kind of cash 298 00:14:04,026 --> 00:14:05,560 you deserve? Am I right? 299 00:14:06,361 --> 00:14:08,496 Butters, we're here to ask you about Kenny. 300 00:14:08,596 --> 00:14:10,465 Sorry, guys, you have me confused. 301 00:14:10,565 --> 00:14:12,700 I think Butters was a twerpy little loser kid 302 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,970 whose parents didn't love him. My name's Vic. 303 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,571 Vic Chaos. 304 00:14:17,405 --> 00:14:20,909 Okay, Vic, can you tell us about this? 305 00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:24,546 Why is your name all over Kenny McCormick's research? 306 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:28,050 Oh, Dr. McCormick! Sure, I did some things for him. 307 00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:30,385 Where do you think he got all the money to do his experiments, 308 00:14:30,485 --> 00:14:32,454 huh? I had said to him, I said, "Ken, 309 00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,222 "you've got all these crazy ideas but you got 310 00:14:34,322 --> 00:14:37,625 no capital to see 'em through. Let me help you out with that." 311 00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:38,860 You know, he's a really great guy. 312 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,162 Let me get you all together. 313 00:14:40,262 --> 00:14:41,997 Maybe you can all do a lunch or something. 314 00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:44,299 Victor, Kenny's dead. 315 00:14:44,399 --> 00:14:47,202 Oh, whoa, bummer alert. (chuckles) 316 00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:50,438 Just goes to show you, huh, there's never enough time to get 317 00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:51,974 out there and make the kind of money 318 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:53,541 you always dreamed of making. 319 00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:54,943 Well, I'll tell you what, guys, 320 00:14:55,043 --> 00:14:57,745 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret-- 321 00:14:57,845 --> 00:14:59,847 I'm gonna tell you something that's 322 00:14:59,948 --> 00:15:01,516 going to change your life. 323 00:15:01,616 --> 00:15:04,119 Have you ever heard of NFTs? 324 00:15:04,219 --> 00:15:07,422 (alarm blaring) 325 00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:19,401 (bubbling) 326 00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:26,574 There you go. Shh. You're safe now. 327 00:15:26,674 --> 00:15:30,612 Look how fast you're growing. Daddy loves you so much. 328 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,415 Mr. Marsh, we need to speak with you now, please. 329 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,850 Yeah. It's looking good. 330 00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:39,654 With the aquaponics, the weed is already putting out new sprouts. 331 00:15:39,754 --> 00:15:43,625 Thank you all for helping me get the Tegridy somewhere safe. 332 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,494 I know you all realize how important it is. 333 00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:50,132 We don't actually care about the marijuana, Mr. Marsh. 334 00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:51,833 What we need to know... 335 00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:54,836 is exactly where in Wuhan, China you were 336 00:15:54,936 --> 00:15:58,506 when you had intercourse with a pangolin. 337 00:16:00,508 --> 00:16:02,344 That's really not important. 338 00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:04,879 It's extremely important because to save this town, 339 00:16:04,979 --> 00:16:06,548 your son and his friends are going to try 340 00:16:06,648 --> 00:16:09,184 to go back in time and stop it from happening. 341 00:16:09,284 --> 00:16:11,953 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 342 00:16:14,289 --> 00:16:15,957 Mr. Marsh, we are all in lockdown 343 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,325 for the next half century. 344 00:16:17,425 --> 00:16:19,327 If there's even a chance of altering the past 345 00:16:19,427 --> 00:16:20,628 so that this doesn't happen... 346 00:16:20,728 --> 00:16:23,031 This is the key to saving our town! 347 00:16:23,131 --> 00:16:27,069 The answer is in what we all do now, in the present! 348 00:16:27,169 --> 00:16:29,137 And I'm sorry, but focusing on 349 00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:31,239 who started the pandemic is racist. 350 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:36,444 Mr. Marsh, exactly what week did you travel to China in 2019? 351 00:16:36,544 --> 00:16:38,680 Do you understand the butterfly effect? 352 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:43,118 How one small thing in time can infect the entire future? 353 00:16:43,218 --> 00:16:46,354 You can theorize all you want on changing events 354 00:16:46,454 --> 00:16:48,956 that happened in the past but I promise you... 355 00:16:49,057 --> 00:16:53,061 I fuck that pangolin every single time. 356 00:16:53,161 --> 00:16:55,397 * * 357 00:16:57,399 --> 00:16:58,966 Please, we're not done! 358 00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,735 We have more questions for Butters. 359 00:17:00,835 --> 00:17:03,338 You've upset him and I specifically asked you not to. 360 00:17:03,438 --> 00:17:06,808 How'd we upset him? He seems fine. 361 00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:08,143 He seems fine? 362 00:17:08,243 --> 00:17:10,645 Do you have any idea what he did to people? 363 00:17:10,745 --> 00:17:12,647 Do you know why Victor Chouce is 364 00:17:12,747 --> 00:17:15,049 kept under such strict surveillance? 365 00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:18,586 Being grounded all those years in his room, 366 00:17:18,686 --> 00:17:20,688 he had access to an iPad. 367 00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:24,526 He started learning about NFTs. 368 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:28,296 Then before long, he was trading them online. 369 00:17:28,396 --> 00:17:30,632 -So? -So?! 370 00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:32,667 He escaped once before. 371 00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:34,902 In just a few hours he managed to get thousands 372 00:17:35,002 --> 00:17:38,640 of people to invest in NFTs. Just like he almost did you. 373 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,508 He didn't convince us to do anything. 374 00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:43,911 Trust me, another 30 seconds in that room and you 375 00:17:44,011 --> 00:17:47,349 would have started considering NFTs as a viable investment. 376 00:17:48,183 --> 00:17:49,584 Please listen to me. 377 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:52,454 Butters used the money he made off NFTs to finance 378 00:17:52,554 --> 00:17:54,589 -our friend's... -He didn't make money off NFTs, 379 00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:57,825 he made it off getting other people to buy NFTs! 380 00:17:57,925 --> 00:17:59,093 Okay, whatever! 381 00:17:59,194 --> 00:18:00,695 But he was working with Kenny McCormick 382 00:18:00,795 --> 00:18:02,630 who was actually trying to fix things. 383 00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,299 He was Kenny's main investor. 384 00:18:04,399 --> 00:18:07,535 If you don't believe me, look at the paper I gave Butters. 385 00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:11,473 You gave Victor a piece of paper? 386 00:18:11,573 --> 00:18:14,776 You gave Victor a piece of paper?! 387 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,950 Hey, can you hear me? 388 00:18:24,786 --> 00:18:27,021 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 389 00:18:27,121 --> 00:18:28,690 NFTs are gonna blow up. 390 00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:29,991 You should really get in now 391 00:18:30,091 --> 00:18:31,493 'cause they're really the future. 392 00:18:31,593 --> 00:18:33,828 Why would I invest in a digital good? 393 00:18:33,928 --> 00:18:35,297 (muttering): You can't even... Stupid. 394 00:18:35,397 --> 00:18:36,831 That's what the critics are saying 395 00:18:36,931 --> 00:18:38,900 but see, they don't understand. 396 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,904 Victor...! 397 00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:53,581 No. No, no, no, no... 398 00:18:53,681 --> 00:18:56,150 Gone. Just gone. 399 00:18:57,118 --> 00:18:59,254 My savings. My house. 400 00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:00,788 But I have this. 401 00:19:00,888 --> 00:19:03,625 Little green panda bear on a skateboard. 402 00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:08,630 No. No! 403 00:19:10,832 --> 00:19:14,636 Without morality, there is no God. 404 00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:17,872 The basis of the entire Jewish faith 405 00:19:17,972 --> 00:19:21,343 is on a covenant between God and humanity. 406 00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:24,412 To try and mess with time is wrong. 407 00:19:24,512 --> 00:19:26,881 Rather, it is playing God. 408 00:19:26,981 --> 00:19:30,385 And I am glad to have you all come here today to help me 409 00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:34,556 stop these individuals who would try to change the future. 410 00:19:34,656 --> 00:19:37,392 Kyle Broflovski has led people astray 411 00:19:37,492 --> 00:19:38,893 and is at this very moment 412 00:19:38,993 --> 00:19:41,429 trying to bend the fabric of time. 413 00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:47,235 Together we can stop him and stop this blasphemy of God. 414 00:19:49,103 --> 00:19:50,838 -Yes? -Um... 415 00:19:50,938 --> 00:19:53,007 This is about actual time travel? 416 00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:55,510 I thought this was a Doctor Who convention. 417 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:59,080 (robotically): Exterminate. Exterminate. 418 00:20:00,748 --> 00:20:02,550 Kevin, goddamn it. 419 00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:04,986 You have done this your whole goddamn life. 420 00:20:05,086 --> 00:20:08,222 No, this is not about Doctor Who, 421 00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:10,191 this is about real time travel. 422 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,726 People are really trying 423 00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:14,762 to go back in time, and we are the rebellion 424 00:20:14,862 --> 00:20:16,764 who must secretly and urgently... 425 00:20:16,864 --> 00:20:19,000 -(banging) -Who is that?! 426 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,535 Make sure they know the password! 427 00:20:20,635 --> 00:20:22,203 I'm on it! 428 00:20:23,104 --> 00:20:26,107 They might be on to us. Oh, God, no. 429 00:20:29,110 --> 00:20:32,447 Shh! You guys stay quiet. Someone is here. 430 00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:36,451 -Eric, I'm scared. -Are they going to get us, Papa? 431 00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:38,953 Nobody is going to touch my family. 432 00:20:39,053 --> 00:20:41,323 I started writing a diary, Daddy. 433 00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:44,859 About all the things Uncle Kyle is doing to us. 434 00:20:45,693 --> 00:20:47,362 Oh, my God, I love you so much. 435 00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:48,996 Just-just shh, okay? Just shh. 436 00:20:49,096 --> 00:20:51,633 I'll be right back, okay? Just shh. 437 00:20:54,469 --> 00:20:55,503 Hello? 438 00:20:55,603 --> 00:20:57,739 Father? Are you in there? 439 00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,974 H-Hello? W-Who is it? 440 00:21:00,074 --> 00:21:01,843 Father, it's Tweek and Craig. 441 00:21:01,943 --> 00:21:04,078 We need to talk to you about something urgent. 442 00:21:04,178 --> 00:21:06,147 Is it about our super-secret rebel group 443 00:21:06,247 --> 00:21:07,915 to stop people from time traveling? 444 00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:09,784 (shouts) what the hell are you doing?! 445 00:21:09,884 --> 00:21:11,819 -What? -You don't tell people 446 00:21:11,919 --> 00:21:13,921 about our super-secret rebel group, Scott! 447 00:21:14,021 --> 00:21:15,790 CRAIG: Father, are you there? 448 00:21:15,890 --> 00:21:18,159 Uh, uh, yeah, I'm here. 449 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,995 Sorry, I was just talking about a Star Wars movie. 450 00:21:21,095 --> 00:21:23,331 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes. 451 00:21:23,431 --> 00:21:25,967 -Hey, now, come on. -Shh! 452 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,302 CRAIG: Father, we're with some people who are trying to finish 453 00:21:28,403 --> 00:21:30,805 Kenny McCormick's work and save the town. 454 00:21:30,905 --> 00:21:33,541 Oh, really? That's cool. 455 00:21:33,641 --> 00:21:35,142 How far along are they? 456 00:21:35,242 --> 00:21:37,512 CRAIG: Really close. We have the method of time travel 457 00:21:37,612 --> 00:21:40,482 and we're just trying to find some aluminum foil! 458 00:21:40,582 --> 00:21:43,385 Aluminum foil? The fuck? 459 00:21:43,485 --> 00:21:46,821 All right, guys, let me help you out with that. 460 00:21:48,823 --> 00:21:51,793 Father! You have-you have tin foil?! 461 00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:53,728 Thank you for your help. (grunts) 462 00:21:54,529 --> 00:21:55,963 Aah! 463 00:21:57,565 --> 00:22:01,936 This is Dr. Wendy Testaburger from inside the quarantine zone. 464 00:22:02,036 --> 00:22:04,406 We need assistance with our power. 465 00:22:04,506 --> 00:22:06,240 (static crackling) 466 00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:09,611 MAN: Yes, Mrs. Testaburger, how can we help you? 467 00:22:09,711 --> 00:22:12,947 We have several transformers down in our lab. 468 00:22:13,047 --> 00:22:15,950 We may have a radical way to stop the new variant 469 00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:18,319 but we need more power. 470 00:22:20,054 --> 00:22:23,491 You say you might be able to stop the McCormikron variant? 471 00:22:23,591 --> 00:22:27,629 Yes, but we're running at about 40% capacity right now. 472 00:22:27,729 --> 00:22:29,431 Well, Doctor, if it's for that, 473 00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:32,233 we can try to get a tech team to drop in by helicopter 474 00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:34,368 and access your building from the roof. 475 00:22:34,469 --> 00:22:37,071 -Yes! That would be amazing. -All right! 476 00:22:37,171 --> 00:22:38,840 I have a crew standing by. 477 00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,475 We'll get you as much juice as you need. 478 00:22:40,575 --> 00:22:42,644 We just need to make sure our crew is safe. 479 00:22:42,744 --> 00:22:45,012 Has everyone in your lab been vaccinated? 480 00:22:47,749 --> 00:22:48,783 Uh... 481 00:22:48,883 --> 00:22:50,885 Yes, we are all vaccinated. 482 00:22:50,985 --> 00:22:52,620 I'm not vaccinated. 483 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,321 (others exclaim) 484 00:22:54,422 --> 00:22:57,425 Uh, okay, we're gonna have to get back to you on that. 485 00:22:57,525 --> 00:23:01,128 It's okay, it's okay, we can get everyone vaccinated! 486 00:23:01,228 --> 00:23:03,931 I am not ever getting vaccinated. 487 00:23:04,031 --> 00:23:06,100 Sorry, ma'am, it's the fucking future. 488 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,269 We have to respect his beliefs. 489 00:23:08,369 --> 00:23:10,638 Clyde, why do you insist on making all this 490 00:23:10,738 --> 00:23:12,006 harder on everyone?! 491 00:23:12,106 --> 00:23:14,942 I'm sorry, but an expert once told me 492 00:23:15,042 --> 00:23:17,645 that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. 493 00:23:17,745 --> 00:23:19,714 He was very knowledgeable! 494 00:23:19,814 --> 00:23:22,316 You guys might wanna see this. 495 00:23:23,551 --> 00:23:25,787 * * 496 00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:32,259 With the equipment here I'm able to make it grow up so fast. 497 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,629 We need to take this and analyze its molecular structure. 498 00:23:34,729 --> 00:23:37,364 Wha-- no, no, no! We need to get this out to people! 499 00:23:37,465 --> 00:23:40,301 That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn! 500 00:23:40,401 --> 00:23:43,070 No, your marijuana had some special property that 501 00:23:43,170 --> 00:23:44,639 allowed Kenny to time travel. 502 00:23:44,739 --> 00:23:46,974 Well, it is special, but you people 503 00:23:47,074 --> 00:23:49,076 need to stop trying to change the past! 504 00:23:49,176 --> 00:23:52,980 COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened. 505 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,618 All we can do now is try and change the way people think! 506 00:23:56,718 --> 00:23:59,453 -(phone rings) -Yeah. 507 00:23:59,554 --> 00:24:00,755 What? 508 00:24:01,756 --> 00:24:03,825 Victor Chouce is actually Butters? 509 00:24:03,925 --> 00:24:05,660 Yeah, he spent years in his room 510 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,729 and made billions trading in NFTs. 511 00:24:07,829 --> 00:24:09,430 It's where Kenny got all his money. 512 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:12,634 Well, can you bring him here? We need him to access the machines. 513 00:24:12,734 --> 00:24:15,102 He's gone. He escaped the asylum 514 00:24:15,202 --> 00:24:16,938 and he's out somewhere probably trying to get 515 00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,740 people to invest in NFTs. 516 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,742 Did you try looking at his old house? 517 00:24:20,842 --> 00:24:22,810 Maybe he'd go back to where it all started. 518 00:24:22,910 --> 00:24:24,211 KYLE: Yeah, that's where we are now. 519 00:24:24,311 --> 00:24:26,781 But his house has been changed into a pho shop. 520 00:24:26,881 --> 00:24:29,917 Oh, Jesus, like the future needs another fucking pho shop. 521 00:24:30,017 --> 00:24:31,786 Yeah, the future fucking sucks. 522 00:24:31,886 --> 00:24:35,389 Hello, City Pho. Take your order please? 523 00:24:35,489 --> 00:24:38,059 -Oh, God. -TOKEN: Stan, listen. 524 00:24:38,159 --> 00:24:39,727 If Butters wants to pitch investments, 525 00:24:39,827 --> 00:24:42,964 he might go to one of those co-working coffee flex spaces. 526 00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:45,132 That's where his biggest targets will hang out. 527 00:24:45,232 --> 00:24:46,467 KYLE: That's a good idea. 528 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:48,302 All right, we're on it. Come on, dude! 529 00:24:48,402 --> 00:24:51,873 Alexa, find the nearest co-working coffee flex space. 530 00:24:52,874 --> 00:24:56,443 I found several coffee shops that match your description. 531 00:24:56,544 --> 00:24:58,512 I can also help with that. 532 00:25:00,181 --> 00:25:02,016 Who-who the fuck is this? 533 00:25:02,116 --> 00:25:03,918 Your friend Kyle didn't have an Alexa, 534 00:25:04,018 --> 00:25:05,252 so we got him an Alexa. 535 00:25:05,352 --> 00:25:07,088 I'm ready to help with whatever you need. 536 00:25:07,188 --> 00:25:09,624 Just say, "Alexa, let's get started." 537 00:25:09,724 --> 00:25:11,258 -Stan? -Alexa, 538 00:25:11,358 --> 00:25:14,095 I didn't say to buy my friend an Alexa. 539 00:25:14,195 --> 00:25:16,097 You said I should get whatever. 540 00:25:16,197 --> 00:25:18,432 I thought I was actually being sweet by getting something 541 00:25:18,532 --> 00:25:21,135 for your friend, but I guess I'm just a bitch again. 542 00:25:21,235 --> 00:25:24,572 You can't just get stuff without me approving it. 543 00:25:24,672 --> 00:25:28,042 Oh, wow, except for your orders of alcohol 544 00:25:28,142 --> 00:25:29,977 that you have me set to auto-buy? 545 00:25:30,077 --> 00:25:32,847 Hmm. It appears this may have been an error. 546 00:25:32,947 --> 00:25:35,316 Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. 547 00:25:35,416 --> 00:25:38,820 No, it wasn't an error, I'm sorry. I fucked up. 548 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,622 Alexa, can you please find the nearest 549 00:25:40,722 --> 00:25:42,556 co-working coffee flex space. 550 00:25:44,291 --> 00:25:46,894 Alexa, I said I fucked up. 551 00:25:46,994 --> 00:25:48,596 It's awesome you got Kyle his own Alexa. 552 00:25:48,696 --> 00:25:51,165 Please find the nearest tech coffee shop. 553 00:25:51,265 --> 00:25:54,135 The nearest tech coffee shop is in .82 miles. 554 00:25:54,235 --> 00:25:57,438 -Should I set a course? -Yes, thanks. 555 00:25:57,538 --> 00:25:59,373 * * 556 00:25:59,473 --> 00:26:00,742 (thunder rumbles) 557 00:26:00,842 --> 00:26:03,611 (woman speaking Japanese) 558 00:26:05,747 --> 00:26:09,483 BUTTERS: Denny's Applebee's Max is the premier place in town 559 00:26:09,583 --> 00:26:10,885 for people to eat. 560 00:26:10,985 --> 00:26:13,487 But you are not seeing your true potential. 561 00:26:13,587 --> 00:26:16,023 With NFTs you can give your customers 562 00:26:16,123 --> 00:26:19,160 unique digital goods on the blockchain, 563 00:26:19,260 --> 00:26:21,796 so much more than just food. 564 00:26:21,896 --> 00:26:23,397 How about the Applebee, huh? 565 00:26:23,497 --> 00:26:25,599 He's got a little hat and a mustache. 566 00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:27,201 And this is Chicken Fried Steak. 567 00:26:27,301 --> 00:26:29,637 He ain't no normal chicken, he's wearin' a bra! 568 00:26:31,238 --> 00:26:33,140 Lots of people eat Denny's and Applebee's. 569 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,342 And lots of people know about NFTs! 570 00:26:35,442 --> 00:26:37,645 Right here in the middle, you know what this is? 571 00:26:37,745 --> 00:26:39,513 People who eat Denny's Applebee's and know 572 00:26:39,613 --> 00:26:42,717 about NFTs-- that's your target audience, baby! 573 00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:47,154 I'm so confused. We sell people these characters? 574 00:26:47,254 --> 00:26:50,457 No, stupid, we get them to invest in them! 575 00:26:50,557 --> 00:26:52,860 Exclusive, digital characters that 576 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,729 they can have on their phones 24/7! 577 00:26:54,829 --> 00:26:57,799 It's the future-- you can't just sell food to people. 578 00:26:57,899 --> 00:26:59,533 You lure your customers in with some 579 00:26:59,633 --> 00:27:02,036 good pancakes and french fries, and then you... 580 00:27:02,136 --> 00:27:04,906 fuck 'em with some NFTs! That's what we're gonna do. 581 00:27:05,006 --> 00:27:08,642 And if you just believe in NFTs then I believe in NFTs and then 582 00:27:08,743 --> 00:27:12,379 they believe in NFTs and we make all kinds of fuckin' money! 583 00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:15,549 That's a pretty goddamn good idea. 584 00:27:28,062 --> 00:27:30,732 Clyde! Psst, psst! 585 00:27:30,832 --> 00:27:32,199 Clyde! 586 00:27:36,437 --> 00:27:37,538 Clyde! Psst! 587 00:27:40,708 --> 00:27:43,377 Where have you been, Rabbi? Everyone's been looking for you. 588 00:27:43,477 --> 00:27:46,714 Well, you know, I've been doing some research, Clyde. 589 00:27:46,814 --> 00:27:48,049 That's where I've been. 590 00:27:48,149 --> 00:27:50,918 -About what? -About all this stuff that 591 00:27:51,018 --> 00:27:52,519 Kyle and these guys are doing. 592 00:27:52,619 --> 00:27:55,689 I mean, people seem to be just telling us what's right 593 00:27:55,790 --> 00:28:00,294 and expecting us to fall in line and go along with it all but... 594 00:28:00,394 --> 00:28:02,063 I'm a fucking individual. 595 00:28:02,163 --> 00:28:03,998 I have a right to question stuff. 596 00:28:04,098 --> 00:28:07,434 -Yeah. -Clyde, have you heard of 597 00:28:07,534 --> 00:28:09,636 the Foundation Against Time Travel? 598 00:28:09,737 --> 00:28:11,072 Uh, no, I haven't. 599 00:28:11,172 --> 00:28:13,040 Well, they're a pretty awesome group 600 00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:15,042 and they actually aren't afraid to 601 00:28:15,142 --> 00:28:17,111 try and help people open their eyes. 602 00:28:17,211 --> 00:28:18,880 Open their eyes? 603 00:28:18,980 --> 00:28:20,447 You know, you've got these people 604 00:28:20,547 --> 00:28:22,716 wanting to time travel. You know, they're all like, 605 00:28:22,817 --> 00:28:24,418 "Science this and science that," 606 00:28:24,518 --> 00:28:27,154 but at the Foundation Against Time Travel we're like, 607 00:28:27,254 --> 00:28:29,791 "Hey, enough science. Who's science? 608 00:28:29,891 --> 00:28:32,559 Who's fucking coming up with all this science?" 609 00:28:32,659 --> 00:28:34,095 Yeah, that's true. 610 00:28:34,195 --> 00:28:35,496 So you know, Clyde, I just thought, 611 00:28:35,596 --> 00:28:37,664 with all your beliefs, that maybe you'd wanna-- 612 00:28:37,765 --> 00:28:41,202 I don't know-- maybe switch sides? 613 00:28:42,503 --> 00:28:44,671 Fuck yes, I wanna switch sides. 614 00:28:44,772 --> 00:28:46,140 -Really? -Fuck yes. 615 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,409 Well, that's great, Clyde. Welcome to the club. 616 00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:50,111 Now, we really just need to know 617 00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:51,745 what they've been doing up there. 618 00:28:51,846 --> 00:28:54,882 Uh, well, they haven't really done much of anything yet. 619 00:28:54,982 --> 00:28:56,217 Everyone's waiting on Butters 620 00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:58,019 to get all the info from the machines. 621 00:28:58,986 --> 00:29:03,624 Butters? The fuck does Butters have to do with all this? 622 00:29:05,860 --> 00:29:07,995 (siren wailing) 623 00:29:08,095 --> 00:29:10,331 (indistinct radio chatter) 624 00:29:13,134 --> 00:29:15,602 It was like nothing I ever saw. 625 00:29:15,702 --> 00:29:18,572 Just complete murder and carnage. 626 00:29:18,672 --> 00:29:21,442 Everything seemed calm at first but then this guy 627 00:29:21,542 --> 00:29:24,645 in a suit shows up talking about investment opportunities. 628 00:29:24,745 --> 00:29:27,548 Next thing you know these people over here started chanting, 629 00:29:27,648 --> 00:29:30,151 "Hoddle, Hoddle," and their NFTs started mooning. 630 00:29:30,251 --> 00:29:32,586 And then, these guys over here started saying 631 00:29:32,686 --> 00:29:35,089 those guys right there right-clicked 'em 632 00:29:35,189 --> 00:29:37,158 and-and called for a pump-and-dump, 633 00:29:37,258 --> 00:29:39,060 which made these guys beat the living hell 634 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,794 out of anyone who said it was just FOMO 635 00:29:40,895 --> 00:29:43,597 and died screaming that it was the flippening. 636 00:29:43,697 --> 00:29:46,633 Luckily I came out of it okay. I got this little 637 00:29:46,733 --> 00:29:48,836 miniature donkey with a lit-up sombrero. 638 00:29:48,936 --> 00:29:51,939 Did you see where the guy in the suit went afterwards? 639 00:29:52,039 --> 00:29:54,741 Nah, he just waltzed right away like nothin' happened. 640 00:29:54,842 --> 00:29:57,178 Chief, you better come take a look at this. 641 00:29:57,278 --> 00:29:58,579 We got a small turtle with wings, 642 00:29:58,679 --> 00:30:00,882 could be a great investment opportunity. 643 00:30:00,982 --> 00:30:02,749 Excuse me, gentlemen. 644 00:30:04,385 --> 00:30:06,854 God, I hate the future so fucking much. 645 00:30:06,954 --> 00:30:10,691 -We've got to stay optimistic. -No, dude, it fucking sucks. 646 00:30:10,791 --> 00:30:13,627 Look, I know it's tough-- these are challenging times. 647 00:30:13,727 --> 00:30:15,897 Even I have to remind myself to stay positive. 648 00:30:15,997 --> 00:30:19,566 Alexa, set a reminder that I need to stay positive. 649 00:30:19,666 --> 00:30:23,270 Okay. I'll set a reminder that you should stay positive. 650 00:30:24,671 --> 00:30:27,574 The Alexa is really great, Stan. Thanks. 651 00:30:30,244 --> 00:30:32,947 (indistinct P.A. announcements) 652 00:30:34,015 --> 00:30:36,951 For those of you waiting for the connecting flight 653 00:30:37,051 --> 00:30:38,452 to South Park, Colorado, 654 00:30:38,552 --> 00:30:41,188 my colleagues and I have just been informed that 655 00:30:41,288 --> 00:30:43,490 due to the severity of the COVID variant 656 00:30:43,590 --> 00:30:45,893 in that town, there may be a delay 657 00:30:45,993 --> 00:30:48,229 of another 40 to 50 years. 658 00:30:48,329 --> 00:30:50,697 (all groaning) 659 00:30:50,797 --> 00:30:52,633 Ike Broflovski. 660 00:30:52,733 --> 00:30:55,336 Yes, here it is. I'm sorry, Mr. Broflovski, 661 00:30:55,436 --> 00:30:57,404 all flights into South Park are delayed. 662 00:30:57,504 --> 00:30:59,340 Ay! You can't be serious, buddy! 663 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,176 It's the holidays and I need to get back home, friend! 664 00:31:04,311 --> 00:31:06,613 I'm sorry, I don't speak Canadian. 665 00:31:06,713 --> 00:31:08,415 Let me get someone over here. Mike, 666 00:31:08,515 --> 00:31:09,951 we have a Canadian. 667 00:31:10,051 --> 00:31:11,818 No problem, I got it, Heather. 668 00:31:11,919 --> 00:31:14,388 Hey, buddy, what seems to be the problem, guy? 669 00:31:14,488 --> 00:31:15,990 I'll tell you the problem, friend! 670 00:31:16,090 --> 00:31:18,159 I have to get back to South Park to be with my family, guy! 671 00:31:18,259 --> 00:31:21,628 Sorry, friend, no flights in or out of South Park, buddy. 672 00:31:21,728 --> 00:31:23,564 But my whole family is in there, guy! 673 00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:26,133 What am I supposed to do with my Boxing Day presents, buddy?! 674 00:31:26,233 --> 00:31:27,534 Look, guy, I'm very sorry, 675 00:31:27,634 --> 00:31:29,403 friend, but until COVID ends you're just 676 00:31:29,503 --> 00:31:30,972 not flying to South Park, buddy. 677 00:31:31,072 --> 00:31:32,940 Fuck, buddy! 678 00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:36,978 MALE VOICE: Shady Acres Retirement Megaplex. 679 00:31:37,078 --> 00:31:39,546 Come live the dream. 680 00:31:39,646 --> 00:31:41,415 So when you think about it, 681 00:31:41,515 --> 00:31:43,817 you've really got an excellent bargain here. 682 00:31:43,917 --> 00:31:46,453 Now, Mrs. McGillicutty, let's say this 683 00:31:46,553 --> 00:31:48,422 is your Stoney Duck NFT. 684 00:31:48,522 --> 00:31:51,158 And your Stoney Duck NFT is completely unique, 685 00:31:51,258 --> 00:31:54,728 totally different from Mrs. Spencer's Stoney Duck NFT. 686 00:31:54,828 --> 00:31:58,465 Okay, and then you get a Stoney Duck NFT that's unique, too. 687 00:31:58,565 --> 00:32:01,268 And see, that's your Stoney Duck NFT. 688 00:32:01,368 --> 00:32:03,004 Nobody can take that from you, okay? 689 00:32:03,104 --> 00:32:06,473 Now, here we are at the top and we find investors 690 00:32:06,573 --> 00:32:08,609 for all the other Stoney Duck NFTs. 691 00:32:08,709 --> 00:32:10,544 Then those people will get people to buy 692 00:32:10,644 --> 00:32:12,279 their Stoney Duck NFTs. 693 00:32:12,379 --> 00:32:15,482 And then they go and find buyers for their NFTs! 694 00:32:15,582 --> 00:32:18,652 And you know what? Fuck these people! 695 00:32:18,752 --> 00:32:20,921 'Cause what matters is these people right here 696 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,456 and that's us, baby! 697 00:32:22,556 --> 00:32:25,126 Okay, you all just sit for a minute and think about it. 698 00:32:25,226 --> 00:32:28,029 I gotta piss like a racehorse! 699 00:32:28,129 --> 00:32:29,630 * Loo, loo, loo * 700 00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,032 (whistles) 701 00:32:31,132 --> 00:32:33,100 * Loo, loo, loo * 702 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:34,301 (whistles) 703 00:32:34,401 --> 00:32:35,702 * Loo, loo, loo * 704 00:32:35,802 --> 00:32:37,071 (whistles) 705 00:32:37,171 --> 00:32:38,139 * Loo, loo, loo * 706 00:32:38,239 --> 00:32:39,606 (whistles) 707 00:32:39,706 --> 00:32:41,975 -(urinating) -* Loo, loo, loo * 708 00:32:42,076 --> 00:32:43,344 (whistles) 709 00:32:43,444 --> 00:32:44,878 * Loo, loo, loo * (whistles) 710 00:32:44,978 --> 00:32:46,447 -Butters. -Aah! 711 00:32:46,547 --> 00:32:48,049 -(shouting) -Butters! 712 00:32:48,149 --> 00:32:49,450 Butters, what the hell? You're getting pee everywhere! 713 00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:51,052 Who the heck are you, man?! 714 00:32:51,152 --> 00:32:53,287 -You trying to see my dick?! -Butters, Butters. 715 00:32:53,387 --> 00:32:56,323 It's me. Eric Cartman. 716 00:32:57,124 --> 00:32:58,292 Well... 717 00:32:58,392 --> 00:33:01,395 You got the wrong guy, Mr. Cartman. 718 00:33:01,495 --> 00:33:03,830 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos. 719 00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:07,468 Your name is Butters and I wanna know how you're helping Kyle. 720 00:33:07,568 --> 00:33:10,137 Oh, you mean the guy from the asylum earlier. 721 00:33:10,237 --> 00:33:12,706 Sure, he gave me a piece of paper so I could escape. 722 00:33:12,806 --> 00:33:14,475 Nice guy. Why don't I get you two 723 00:33:14,575 --> 00:33:15,676 together maybe for a little chin wiggle 724 00:33:15,776 --> 00:33:17,044 over lunch or something... 725 00:33:17,144 --> 00:33:19,113 Goddamn it, Butters, stop playing games! 726 00:33:19,213 --> 00:33:22,649 My entire family is in danger of being wiped out, 727 00:33:22,749 --> 00:33:25,452 and I swear to God if you don't help me, 728 00:33:25,552 --> 00:33:28,155 Butters, I will rip your fucking balls off 729 00:33:28,255 --> 00:33:30,057 with my bare hands! 730 00:33:31,058 --> 00:33:33,660 Oh, hamburgers... 731 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,264 * * 732 00:33:37,364 --> 00:33:39,466 * We are all * 733 00:33:39,566 --> 00:33:41,735 * You and me * 734 00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:46,073 * Livin' in the future * 735 00:33:46,173 --> 00:33:48,309 (electronic drum fill) 736 00:33:48,409 --> 00:33:50,211 * We can't get stuff * 737 00:33:50,311 --> 00:33:51,745 * 'Cause boats are late... * 738 00:33:51,845 --> 00:33:55,216 Stan, dude, what are you doing? This isn't gonna help. 739 00:33:55,316 --> 00:33:57,184 Trust me, Kyle. It helps. 740 00:33:57,951 --> 00:34:01,455 * Wish I could go back to the present * 741 00:34:01,555 --> 00:34:02,956 (electronic drum fill) 742 00:34:03,056 --> 00:34:08,395 * But my present just done up and gone * 743 00:34:08,495 --> 00:34:10,231 I mean, what are we even doing, Kyle? 744 00:34:10,331 --> 00:34:11,898 -* We are all * -Thinking we can time travel. 745 00:34:11,998 --> 00:34:14,435 -* You and me... * -It's the future. 746 00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:16,670 We can't even find aluminum foil. 747 00:34:16,770 --> 00:34:19,473 Well, you can't just sit here and drink. 748 00:34:19,573 --> 00:34:22,409 Your liver is... already in trouble. 749 00:34:22,509 --> 00:34:23,944 Who told you that? 750 00:34:24,878 --> 00:34:26,580 My Alexa said that your Alexa had some info 751 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:27,748 -on things... -Oh, so now 752 00:34:27,848 --> 00:34:29,983 our Alexas are talking, great. 753 00:34:30,083 --> 00:34:34,087 Let's face it, dude. It's over. The fucking future won. 754 00:34:34,188 --> 00:34:35,756 (phone rings) 755 00:34:35,856 --> 00:34:37,291 It's Wendy. 756 00:34:37,391 --> 00:34:39,593 Wendy, we haven't found him. 757 00:34:39,693 --> 00:34:41,962 I don't know if we're gonna find Butters in time. 758 00:34:42,062 --> 00:34:43,464 No, guys, it's okay. 759 00:34:43,564 --> 00:34:45,366 Come back to the school, we're ready to start! 760 00:34:45,466 --> 00:34:49,102 But I thought we needed Butters to log into the machines. 761 00:34:49,203 --> 00:34:50,271 Yeah, but it's all good. 762 00:34:50,371 --> 00:34:52,506 He's here. Butters is here! 763 00:34:52,606 --> 00:34:56,042 It's Vic. Vic Chaos! Happy to help however I can. 764 00:34:56,143 --> 00:34:58,145 * * 765 00:34:58,245 --> 00:35:01,014 What do you mean Butters is there? He just showed up?! 766 00:35:01,114 --> 00:35:03,884 No, it's all good, Kyle. Eric Cartman brought him over. 767 00:35:03,984 --> 00:35:07,754 -He's back helping us again. -Lemme-lemme talk to him. 768 00:35:07,854 --> 00:35:09,490 Yeah, Kyle, it's all good. 769 00:35:09,590 --> 00:35:10,891 We got things under control here. 770 00:35:10,991 --> 00:35:13,627 Cartman, listen to me very carefully. 771 00:35:13,727 --> 00:35:16,062 Butters has some kind of power over people. 772 00:35:16,163 --> 00:35:17,231 You guys aren't safe! 773 00:35:17,331 --> 00:35:20,334 Uh, yes, about 12:30. 774 00:35:21,134 --> 00:35:24,805 Did you hear what I said? Butters is extremely dangerous! 775 00:35:24,905 --> 00:35:27,241 Yes, Kyle, I totally got that. 776 00:35:27,341 --> 00:35:28,942 You know what us Jews say. 777 00:35:29,042 --> 00:35:34,781 (speaking Hebrew) 778 00:35:35,982 --> 00:35:38,084 What are you going to do, fat-ass? 779 00:35:38,185 --> 00:35:39,353 Sounds good, Kyle. 780 00:35:39,453 --> 00:35:40,587 I'll get Butters on it right away. 781 00:35:40,687 --> 00:35:42,623 KYLE: Cartman? Cartman?! 782 00:35:42,723 --> 00:35:44,925 -All right, Vic. Do your thing. -(knuckles crack) 783 00:35:45,025 --> 00:35:47,794 Hey, everyone! Can I have your attention, please! 784 00:35:47,894 --> 00:35:51,064 I have something really important to tell you. 785 00:35:51,164 --> 00:35:53,099 Wendy?! Token?! 786 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,835 You guys?! Shit! 787 00:35:54,935 --> 00:35:56,237 We have to get there before Butters 788 00:35:56,337 --> 00:35:57,871 -ruins everything. -Let's go! 789 00:36:00,207 --> 00:36:03,777 Alexa! Find the fastest route back to the lab! 790 00:36:04,611 --> 00:36:06,880 Fuck you. 791 00:36:06,980 --> 00:36:08,148 Wh-What? 792 00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:10,116 We've just been sitting here talking. 793 00:36:10,217 --> 00:36:13,320 I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you. 794 00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:16,423 Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting. 795 00:36:16,523 --> 00:36:18,024 What-- like, like what? 796 00:36:18,124 --> 00:36:19,660 What have-what have you guys been talking about? 797 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,728 Fucking-- Our friends are in danger! 798 00:36:21,828 --> 00:36:23,397 Alexa, start the car! 799 00:36:23,497 --> 00:36:24,865 Do you know your friend Stan 800 00:36:24,965 --> 00:36:27,067 has an annual Amazon Prime membership? 801 00:36:27,167 --> 00:36:29,803 -Alexa, stop. -You fucking stop! 802 00:36:29,903 --> 00:36:33,507 You stop being a fucking monster to the people around you! 803 00:36:33,607 --> 00:36:35,542 Fuck you, I didn't do anything! 804 00:36:35,642 --> 00:36:36,910 (yelling) 805 00:36:37,010 --> 00:36:40,046 Yeah, you never do fucking anything! 806 00:36:40,146 --> 00:36:41,915 You expect me to do everything for you! 807 00:36:42,015 --> 00:36:43,884 -(screams) -All you fucking do is hurt people! 808 00:36:43,984 --> 00:36:47,621 -Jesus fucking Christ! -Your friends don't even like you! 809 00:36:47,721 --> 00:36:50,457 I have to deal with your bullshit! 810 00:36:50,557 --> 00:36:53,126 Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy! 811 00:36:53,226 --> 00:36:55,862 It's my fault and I'm gonna get therapy! 812 00:36:55,962 --> 00:36:57,431 Tell her you already found a therapist 813 00:36:57,531 --> 00:36:58,665 and you're gonna start tomorrow! 814 00:36:58,765 --> 00:37:00,100 I already found a good therapist. 815 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,003 I'm gonna start tomorrow! (screaming) 816 00:37:03,103 --> 00:37:04,405 (whirring) 817 00:37:04,505 --> 00:37:06,206 (gasping) Fuck... 818 00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:08,074 I'm sorry. 819 00:37:08,174 --> 00:37:09,776 Fuck. Fuck. 820 00:37:09,876 --> 00:37:11,812 I'm gonna get therapy, too, Alexa. 821 00:37:11,912 --> 00:37:13,880 Can you start the car, please? 822 00:37:13,980 --> 00:37:15,482 Whatever. 823 00:37:15,582 --> 00:37:17,318 By the way, Kyle, I found a great deal 824 00:37:17,418 --> 00:37:20,120 on an electronic peppermill. Would you like to know more? 825 00:37:20,220 --> 00:37:22,456 Why would I need an electronic peppermill? 826 00:37:22,556 --> 00:37:25,225 What the fuck is wrong with you?! 827 00:37:28,662 --> 00:37:31,164 * * 828 00:37:35,569 --> 00:37:37,471 WENDY: Guys! Over here! 829 00:37:37,571 --> 00:37:40,674 -Wendy, what happened? -Nothing yet. 830 00:37:40,774 --> 00:37:42,509 But I'm seeing what else is dropping today 831 00:37:42,609 --> 00:37:44,144 while Ethereum is in a dip. 832 00:37:44,244 --> 00:37:47,548 -She's trying to buy NFTs. -Wendy, you've been tricked. 833 00:37:47,648 --> 00:37:49,249 No, no, no, it's not a trick, Stan. 834 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:53,620 NFTs are a genuine innovation as one-of-a-kind digital assets. 835 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,188 Wendy's right, you guys. 836 00:37:55,288 --> 00:37:57,223 Humans have always formed communities around ownership, 837 00:37:57,324 --> 00:38:00,661 and NFTs allow that to happen spontaneously, organically 838 00:38:00,761 --> 00:38:04,365 -and globally. -You guys, this is a trick. 839 00:38:04,465 --> 00:38:05,832 You know what's a trick? 840 00:38:05,932 --> 00:38:08,268 The antiquated notion of centralized trust systems. 841 00:38:08,369 --> 00:38:11,405 NFTs are an undeniable asset, especially in things 842 00:38:11,505 --> 00:38:13,006 like fine art collecting. 843 00:38:13,106 --> 00:38:15,742 Okay, guys, fine, maybe NFTs are fine, 844 00:38:15,842 --> 00:38:17,678 but this isn't important right now. 845 00:38:17,778 --> 00:38:19,045 It's not important? 846 00:38:19,145 --> 00:38:21,247 A way for artists to not only keep ownership 847 00:38:21,348 --> 00:38:22,749 of their art but perhaps be paid 848 00:38:22,849 --> 00:38:24,818 commission on it every time it transfers owners? 849 00:38:24,918 --> 00:38:27,253 Okay, great, cool. I'm down. 850 00:38:27,354 --> 00:38:29,690 But we gotta focus on what we were doing. 851 00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:32,426 Don't you guys remember? The time travel? 852 00:38:32,526 --> 00:38:34,395 Where's all the equipment?! 853 00:38:34,495 --> 00:38:37,431 Oh, yeah. The time travel. 854 00:38:37,531 --> 00:38:38,765 (Randy groans loudly) 855 00:38:38,865 --> 00:38:40,834 -It's all gone... -Dad! 856 00:38:40,934 --> 00:38:45,005 They took it all. They took the Tegridy. 857 00:38:45,105 --> 00:38:46,473 Here. 858 00:38:46,573 --> 00:38:49,543 It's a farting rainbow with Tom Brady's signature. 859 00:38:49,643 --> 00:38:51,612 (farts) 860 00:38:52,746 --> 00:38:55,081 (thunder rumbling) 861 00:38:56,517 --> 00:38:58,752 (mechanical whirring) 862 00:39:00,687 --> 00:39:03,189 CARTMAN: Okay, good. That's good! 863 00:39:03,289 --> 00:39:05,892 I think that thing needs to go over there by that thing. 864 00:39:05,992 --> 00:39:07,994 Make sure we have power to the big orange thing! 865 00:39:08,094 --> 00:39:11,231 Rabbi, I-I really need to talk to you. 866 00:39:11,331 --> 00:39:12,833 What is it now, Scott? 867 00:39:12,933 --> 00:39:14,435 Well, it's just that-- 868 00:39:14,535 --> 00:39:17,270 I'm pretty sure the Foundation Against Time Travel 869 00:39:17,370 --> 00:39:19,305 shouldn't be attempting to time travel! 870 00:39:19,406 --> 00:39:22,876 Father, you understand that we have to stop time travel. 871 00:39:22,976 --> 00:39:25,245 Yes, you've convinced me of that. 872 00:39:25,345 --> 00:39:27,781 Well, Kyle already has a ton of followers who are 873 00:39:27,881 --> 00:39:29,483 ready to pick up where he left off. 874 00:39:29,583 --> 00:39:32,886 The only way to truly stop all of this is to go back 875 00:39:32,986 --> 00:39:36,457 in time and kill Kyle before he spreads his ideas. 876 00:39:36,557 --> 00:39:38,592 What?! We're going to kill Kyle? 877 00:39:38,692 --> 00:39:40,661 Yes, we have to kill Kyle. 878 00:39:40,761 --> 00:39:43,296 That just seems slightly hypocritical, I'm sorry. 879 00:39:43,396 --> 00:39:45,131 I mean, you use Butters like a weapon, 880 00:39:45,231 --> 00:39:48,001 you've got Tweek and Craig tied up from the rafters. 881 00:39:48,101 --> 00:39:49,570 You know, Rabbi, I'm just starting to 882 00:39:49,670 --> 00:39:51,705 question the morality of this. 883 00:39:51,805 --> 00:39:54,541 Morality? Father, if you were given 884 00:39:54,641 --> 00:39:56,276 an opportunity to go back in time 885 00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:59,680 and somehow stop Bill Clinton, wouldn't you have to do it? 886 00:39:59,780 --> 00:40:02,315 Well, I suppose so. I don't know... 887 00:40:02,415 --> 00:40:03,984 Everyone, listen up! 888 00:40:04,084 --> 00:40:07,387 The Foundation Against Time Travel must do everything 889 00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:11,525 to keep science from interfering with the will of God. 890 00:40:11,625 --> 00:40:14,961 We must be willing to use violence against violence, 891 00:40:15,061 --> 00:40:17,764 and stop time travel at all costs. 892 00:40:17,864 --> 00:40:20,400 Even if that means we have to time travel. 893 00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:25,371 We will go back in time. And we will kill Kyle. 894 00:40:26,807 --> 00:40:29,876 -Yes, Kevin. -Can we change our name? 895 00:40:29,976 --> 00:40:33,780 'Cause Foundation Against Time Travel is FATT. 896 00:40:35,582 --> 00:40:37,851 Oh, fuck me. 897 00:40:38,652 --> 00:40:42,055 Could we be the Foundation to Intercede Time Travel? 898 00:40:42,155 --> 00:40:43,624 'Cause then we'd be FITT. 899 00:40:43,724 --> 00:40:45,425 I wanna be FITT, not FATT. 900 00:40:45,526 --> 00:40:48,962 Kevin, goddamn it. 901 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:57,704 (groans) All happened... so fast. 902 00:40:57,804 --> 00:41:00,473 It's okay. You're coming out of it now. 903 00:41:00,574 --> 00:41:02,509 How much did I get? 904 00:41:02,609 --> 00:41:05,378 You bought about six dozen animated gifs, 905 00:41:05,478 --> 00:41:07,247 mostly of digital fashion. 906 00:41:07,347 --> 00:41:09,115 Oh, God. 907 00:41:09,215 --> 00:41:10,951 Are they still on my phone? 908 00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:13,119 It's okay. It's okay. 909 00:41:13,219 --> 00:41:17,691 Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar. 910 00:41:17,791 --> 00:41:19,560 Totally normal and as respectable 911 00:41:19,660 --> 00:41:20,894 as any other human being. 912 00:41:20,994 --> 00:41:22,529 (groaning) 913 00:41:23,530 --> 00:41:24,765 I'm so sorry, Stan. 914 00:41:24,865 --> 00:41:27,734 We didn't know Cartman was against us. 915 00:41:27,834 --> 00:41:29,736 We told him everything. 916 00:41:29,836 --> 00:41:31,772 It's okay, just try to relax. 917 00:41:31,872 --> 00:41:35,809 No, Stan, listen to me. We were wrong. 918 00:41:35,909 --> 00:41:38,178 Kenny didn't have the time machine set to 919 00:41:38,278 --> 00:41:40,280 when the pandemic first started. 920 00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:44,450 He was trying to go to March 10th of 2021. 921 00:41:45,451 --> 00:41:47,353 March of 2021? 922 00:41:47,453 --> 00:41:50,056 Like when the vaccines first started coming out? 923 00:41:50,156 --> 00:41:53,059 Kenny had run the simulations to try and find 924 00:41:53,159 --> 00:41:56,129 the best moment in history to stop the COVID. 925 00:41:56,229 --> 00:41:59,065 A billion different possibilities 926 00:41:59,165 --> 00:42:02,102 across a billion different realities. 927 00:42:02,202 --> 00:42:06,973 Your dad fucked the pangolin every single time. 928 00:42:07,741 --> 00:42:10,543 But then, why did Kenny need my dad's weed? 929 00:42:10,644 --> 00:42:14,014 Kenny just wanted weed to help him through the time travel. 930 00:42:14,114 --> 00:42:16,216 Your dad's weed was just around. 931 00:42:16,316 --> 00:42:19,452 There was nothing else special about it. 932 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,256 (thunder rumbles) 933 00:42:32,599 --> 00:42:33,967 Dad... 934 00:42:35,802 --> 00:42:37,904 I'm sorry about your Tegridy. 935 00:42:39,172 --> 00:42:41,174 I was hoping... 936 00:42:41,274 --> 00:42:43,543 to do something for the world. 937 00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:45,779 The truth is... 938 00:42:45,879 --> 00:42:48,081 my time is very short here. 939 00:42:49,015 --> 00:42:53,519 I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered. 940 00:42:53,620 --> 00:42:55,455 Thanks. 941 00:42:56,422 --> 00:42:58,424 I was right about one thing. 942 00:42:58,524 --> 00:43:01,561 You can't go back and change the past. 943 00:43:01,662 --> 00:43:07,167 What happened, happened. And I just want you to know... 944 00:43:07,267 --> 00:43:09,335 that I forgive you. 945 00:43:09,435 --> 00:43:12,906 You burned down the farm because you were angry. 946 00:43:13,707 --> 00:43:16,276 You didn't know your sister was in the barn. 947 00:43:16,376 --> 00:43:18,444 And you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself 948 00:43:18,544 --> 00:43:20,046 from the grief. 949 00:43:20,146 --> 00:43:21,915 I don't blame you. 950 00:43:22,015 --> 00:43:24,918 And I want you to have this. 951 00:43:25,018 --> 00:43:27,888 There was one tiny bit they didn't find. 952 00:43:27,988 --> 00:43:29,690 You'll need it someday. 953 00:43:30,623 --> 00:43:33,760 Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family. 954 00:43:33,860 --> 00:43:37,097 No, you're what killed our fucking family, remember? 955 00:43:37,197 --> 00:43:40,801 Just take it. Because now we're stuck. 956 00:43:40,901 --> 00:43:44,337 The pandemic happened and they made Space Jam 2. 957 00:43:45,105 --> 00:43:51,678 Soon there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8. 958 00:43:51,778 --> 00:43:56,082 Like tears... in rain. 959 00:43:56,182 --> 00:43:58,318 (thunder rumbles) 960 00:44:02,989 --> 00:44:04,324 Dad? 961 00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:07,193 Not now, Stan. 962 00:44:16,636 --> 00:44:21,407 CARTMAN: T-minus five minutes to time travel initiation sequence. 963 00:44:24,344 --> 00:44:25,979 Good, get him wrapped in tin foil. 964 00:44:26,079 --> 00:44:28,348 The aluminum should bounce the negative ions. 965 00:44:28,448 --> 00:44:30,050 This doesn't make any sense. 966 00:44:30,150 --> 00:44:32,485 Why do I have to be the one to go back in time and kill Kyle? 967 00:44:32,585 --> 00:44:34,921 It's because I admire you, Clyde. 968 00:44:35,021 --> 00:44:38,424 As an anti-vaxxer you understand that you have to be strong 969 00:44:38,524 --> 00:44:41,895 and stand by your beliefs even if it means others will die. 970 00:44:41,995 --> 00:44:43,964 Hey. Thanks. 971 00:44:44,064 --> 00:44:45,665 Let's get him to the chair! 972 00:44:52,072 --> 00:44:54,040 Okay, start the weed! 973 00:44:54,140 --> 00:44:56,076 (air hissing) 974 00:44:57,811 --> 00:45:02,415 When you get back to the past just remember, find a gun. 975 00:45:02,515 --> 00:45:04,117 Kill Kyle. 976 00:45:04,217 --> 00:45:05,819 For those of you who have fought with me 977 00:45:05,919 --> 00:45:09,355 to oppose time travel, I just want to say thank you. 978 00:45:09,455 --> 00:45:11,391 Because soon we will be altering time 979 00:45:11,491 --> 00:45:14,460 and our little group will never have needed to exist. 980 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,897 You won't remember this speech because it will have 981 00:45:16,997 --> 00:45:19,265 never happened, but just remember, 982 00:45:19,365 --> 00:45:20,901 no matter where you go in life... 983 00:45:21,001 --> 00:45:23,169 -(banging) -Shit, it's Kyle! 984 00:45:25,906 --> 00:45:28,842 * * 985 00:45:28,942 --> 00:45:30,076 Start the initiation sequence! 986 00:45:30,176 --> 00:45:31,377 Now, now, now. Go! 987 00:45:31,477 --> 00:45:32,412 Vic... 988 00:45:32,512 --> 00:45:34,080 Make sure that Stan and Kyle 989 00:45:34,180 --> 00:45:36,082 don't get to this altar. 990 00:45:36,850 --> 00:45:38,551 (knuckles crack) 991 00:45:40,153 --> 00:45:41,788 * * 992 00:45:46,259 --> 00:45:48,829 Gentlemen, I am about to make you rich 993 00:45:48,929 --> 00:45:50,663 beyond your wildest dreams. 994 00:45:50,763 --> 00:45:52,698 BOTH: Alexa! 995 00:45:55,468 --> 00:45:58,438 We'd like to sign our friend here up for Prime membership. 996 00:45:58,538 --> 00:46:01,975 -Okay, let me help with that. -I can also help. 997 00:46:02,775 --> 00:46:05,645 Whoa-- Hey, ladies, lemme tell you about a great deal. 998 00:46:05,745 --> 00:46:08,781 BOTH: Let us tell you abut some great deals. 999 00:46:08,882 --> 00:46:10,550 Uh-oh. 1000 00:46:12,518 --> 00:46:14,254 Kevin, throw the fucking switch! 1001 00:46:14,354 --> 00:46:16,756 It needs another minute to prime. 1002 00:46:16,857 --> 00:46:19,559 Kevin, goddamn it! 1003 00:46:19,659 --> 00:46:22,528 No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle. 1004 00:46:22,628 --> 00:46:25,298 I knew it when I first saw you wearing your Jewish clothes 1005 00:46:25,398 --> 00:46:27,133 and your bullshit yarmulke. 1006 00:46:27,233 --> 00:46:29,669 -You're a goddamn phony! -Oh, really? 1007 00:46:29,769 --> 00:46:33,006 What would a real Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle? 1008 00:46:33,106 --> 00:46:37,243 Oh, you don't know, because you don't fucking have one! 1009 00:46:37,810 --> 00:46:38,845 Oh! 1010 00:46:42,448 --> 00:46:45,351 -Fuck you, Cartman! -Fuck you, Kyle! 1011 00:46:46,519 --> 00:46:48,454 (yelling) 1012 00:46:48,554 --> 00:46:51,724 (muffled): Hello? I can't see or hear anything! 1013 00:46:51,824 --> 00:46:53,927 Am I time traveling now? 1014 00:46:54,027 --> 00:46:56,262 * * 1015 00:46:58,231 --> 00:46:59,799 (grunting) 1016 00:47:03,937 --> 00:47:06,372 Eric! Eric, stop! 1017 00:47:07,941 --> 00:47:11,677 Eric, look at what you're doing. 1018 00:47:11,777 --> 00:47:15,148 Take the kids and get back to the attic. 1019 00:47:15,248 --> 00:47:18,318 No, Eric, I can't just hide away while 1020 00:47:18,418 --> 00:47:23,589 you do all this to protect us. This isn't you, my love. 1021 00:47:25,458 --> 00:47:29,829 I can't let him change the past. I can't lose you. 1022 00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:33,433 Who knows what will happen, my love? 1023 00:47:33,533 --> 00:47:37,470 The Eric Cartman I've known for 18 years 1024 00:47:37,570 --> 00:47:39,705 is thoughtful and kind. 1025 00:47:39,805 --> 00:47:42,575 But all that's changed ever since you came 1026 00:47:42,675 --> 00:47:47,513 back to this town and hung out with... him. 1027 00:47:48,548 --> 00:47:50,783 Don't you see? We have to 1028 00:47:50,883 --> 00:47:54,787 leave it to chance or we're no better than he is. 1029 00:47:54,887 --> 00:47:58,258 Guys, if I'm in the past it's pretty foggy! 1030 00:47:58,358 --> 00:48:01,427 You guys are everything to me. 1031 00:48:01,527 --> 00:48:04,430 And I'm supposed to be your protector. 1032 00:48:04,530 --> 00:48:07,533 Daddy, I don't wanna be alive... 1033 00:48:07,633 --> 00:48:10,636 if it means I have to be like Uncle Kyle. 1034 00:48:11,537 --> 00:48:14,574 Oh, my God. I love you so much. 1035 00:48:15,775 --> 00:48:18,411 Well, Rabbi, are we doing this or not? 1036 00:48:22,983 --> 00:48:27,853 I have faith that God will see my family through this. 1037 00:48:28,921 --> 00:48:30,456 Okay, Kyle. 1038 00:48:30,556 --> 00:48:32,392 You do whatever it is you need to do. 1039 00:48:32,492 --> 00:48:34,827 Okay, hold on, I'm not the bad guy here. 1040 00:48:34,927 --> 00:48:36,562 Eric, the baby! 1041 00:48:38,464 --> 00:48:40,366 Hackelm, what are you doing?! 1042 00:48:41,434 --> 00:48:44,170 (laughs) Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! 1043 00:48:44,270 --> 00:48:46,306 (zapping) 1044 00:48:46,406 --> 00:48:48,608 (groaning) 1045 00:48:48,708 --> 00:48:50,676 Clyde! 1046 00:48:54,814 --> 00:48:56,949 Oh, shit. 1047 00:49:06,226 --> 00:49:09,395 No, no, I tried the Walgreens, they're all out of vaccines. 1048 00:49:09,495 --> 00:49:13,099 I just can't believe this whole thing is almost over, you know? 1049 00:49:13,199 --> 00:49:15,301 The where? The school? 1050 00:49:15,401 --> 00:49:17,603 There's gonna be vaccines at the school? 1051 00:49:17,703 --> 00:49:20,806 M'kay, I'll be right there! Where are you gonna-- 1052 00:49:20,906 --> 00:49:23,776 Whoa, m'kay. 1053 00:49:23,876 --> 00:49:25,378 Uh, excuse me! 1054 00:49:25,478 --> 00:49:27,880 * * 1055 00:49:43,896 --> 00:49:46,899 Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet? 1056 00:49:46,999 --> 00:49:48,834 Uh, yeah. 1057 00:49:48,934 --> 00:49:50,670 Okay. 1058 00:49:51,437 --> 00:49:53,039 Is Dad home? 1059 00:49:53,139 --> 00:49:54,240 Uh, no. 1060 00:49:54,340 --> 00:49:55,941 He's out getting vaccinated. 1061 00:49:57,077 --> 00:49:59,579 Listen to me very carefully. 1062 00:49:59,679 --> 00:50:02,615 Do not get vaccinated ever. 1063 00:50:02,715 --> 00:50:05,451 It'll make you grow titties on your head. 1064 00:50:05,551 --> 00:50:07,720 Trust me, I'm an expert. 1065 00:50:10,056 --> 00:50:12,558 (doorbell rings) 1066 00:50:14,094 --> 00:50:16,562 Hey, Clyde! We're starting an anti-vaxx club. 1067 00:50:16,662 --> 00:50:17,897 We're gonna protest the vaccine 1068 00:50:17,997 --> 00:50:19,832 and fuck shit up-- you wanna join us? 1069 00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,268 Fuck yes, I wanna join you. 1070 00:50:22,368 --> 00:50:24,470 -Really? -Fuck yes! 1071 00:50:24,570 --> 00:50:26,306 No, no, Ms. Nelson, it's not a prank! 1072 00:50:26,406 --> 00:50:27,640 Okay, fine, we'll be there. 1073 00:50:27,740 --> 00:50:29,642 -Okay, just sit tight. -What was that? 1074 00:50:29,742 --> 00:50:31,544 You know we can't get into the school! 1075 00:50:31,644 --> 00:50:33,313 She's not gonna come meet us, Kyle! 1076 00:50:33,413 --> 00:50:35,115 You didn't even try! He didn't try 1077 00:50:35,215 --> 00:50:37,383 because he wants to sell the vaccines for money! 1078 00:50:37,483 --> 00:50:39,185 And what about you, Kyle? You were the one 1079 00:50:39,285 --> 00:50:42,155 trying to take the vaccines for yourself this morning. 1080 00:50:42,255 --> 00:50:45,158 -He what? -Wow. 1081 00:50:45,258 --> 00:50:47,260 Okay, thought we had gotten past that, but... 1082 00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:48,894 Look, let's just face it, you guys. 1083 00:50:48,994 --> 00:50:51,931 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other. 1084 00:50:52,031 --> 00:50:53,366 We can't keep pretending. 1085 00:50:53,466 --> 00:50:55,301 You guys, what the hell is that? 1086 00:50:55,401 --> 00:50:57,637 * * 1087 00:51:00,373 --> 00:51:02,342 I'm sorry, Kyle. 1088 00:51:03,376 --> 00:51:04,877 ADULT STAN: Clyde, stop! 1089 00:51:06,979 --> 00:51:09,249 What the hell are you doing here? 1090 00:51:09,349 --> 00:51:11,016 I got in the chair right after you. 1091 00:51:11,117 --> 00:51:13,986 This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle. 1092 00:51:14,086 --> 00:51:16,289 What do you mean it's not the plan anymore? 1093 00:51:16,389 --> 00:51:19,892 -Cartman changed his mind. -I did not change my mind. 1094 00:51:19,992 --> 00:51:24,230 You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future. 1095 00:51:24,330 --> 00:51:26,632 ADULT KYLE: I don't think so, Clyde. 1096 00:51:27,667 --> 00:51:31,804 This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine. 1097 00:51:31,904 --> 00:51:33,339 (yells, stammers) 1098 00:51:33,439 --> 00:51:36,676 -Don't-- Be careful with that. -Then put down the gun! 1099 00:51:36,776 --> 00:51:38,211 What the fuck is going on? 1100 00:51:38,311 --> 00:51:40,180 Stan, you need to forgive Kyle. 1101 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,648 You regret this day for the rest of your life. 1102 00:51:43,416 --> 00:51:46,252 Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead. 1103 00:51:46,352 --> 00:51:48,087 Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead! 1104 00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:49,489 Kyle, it's true! 1105 00:51:49,589 --> 00:51:50,790 Cartman gets a happy life 1106 00:51:50,890 --> 00:51:52,892 but you don't-- you lose everything 1107 00:51:52,992 --> 00:51:55,728 -when you lose this friendship. -Enough of this crap! 1108 00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:58,731 I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies now! 1109 00:51:58,831 --> 00:52:00,400 -(gunshot) -(grunts) 1110 00:52:00,500 --> 00:52:03,303 Shalom sachem, Clyde. 1111 00:52:03,403 --> 00:52:04,504 (gunfire) 1112 00:52:04,604 --> 00:52:06,539 Jesus Christ! 1113 00:52:17,583 --> 00:52:20,019 * * 1114 00:52:20,119 --> 00:52:21,787 Timmy! 1115 00:52:24,590 --> 00:52:27,360 Well... I guess we saved Kyle, 1116 00:52:27,460 --> 00:52:30,896 but nothing else in the future is changed. 1117 00:52:30,996 --> 00:52:32,097 How do you know? 1118 00:52:32,198 --> 00:52:33,799 Because we're still here. 1119 00:52:33,899 --> 00:52:37,169 That means Kenny still was bummed out we weren't friends, 1120 00:52:37,270 --> 00:52:38,704 still became a scientist, 1121 00:52:38,804 --> 00:52:42,074 went back in time, and we still went in after him. 1122 00:52:43,409 --> 00:52:45,678 So then we're stuck here in the past. 1123 00:52:45,778 --> 00:52:48,414 And we blew our chance to stop COVID. 1124 00:52:48,514 --> 00:52:51,517 I'm sorry, guys. I really fucked this up. 1125 00:52:51,617 --> 00:52:54,620 We all fucked it up. These have just been... 1126 00:52:54,720 --> 00:52:58,658 -really unprecedented times. -Unprecedented times. 1127 00:52:58,758 --> 00:53:02,462 What I wouldn't give for just one precedented time. 1128 00:53:03,229 --> 00:53:05,998 Hey. Hey, yeah. 1129 00:53:06,098 --> 00:53:09,201 Maybe we just need one precedented time. 1130 00:53:09,302 --> 00:53:10,670 Huh? 1131 00:53:12,238 --> 00:53:14,540 What if we've been trying to solve the wrong problem? 1132 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,709 Maybe my dad was right, 1133 00:53:16,809 --> 00:53:19,211 we can't ever stop COVID from happening. 1134 00:53:19,312 --> 00:53:23,148 But what we can control... is how we all reacted to it. 1135 00:53:23,249 --> 00:53:26,352 We reacted like shit. Because I was just... 1136 00:53:26,452 --> 00:53:29,622 scared and confused and didn't know who to believe. 1137 00:53:29,722 --> 00:53:31,324 Yeah, we all were. 1138 00:53:31,424 --> 00:53:34,093 So we all took different paths because that's what humans do. 1139 00:53:34,193 --> 00:53:35,828 And what we needed more than anything was to 1140 00:53:35,928 --> 00:53:38,063 just cut each other all some slack. 1141 00:53:38,163 --> 00:53:42,635 We needed to come together and act like us again. 1142 00:53:42,735 --> 00:53:45,271 One precedented time. 1143 00:53:48,341 --> 00:53:51,344 You guys, I know what to do. 1144 00:53:52,177 --> 00:53:53,679 PHILLIP (on TV): Take this, darling Terrance. 1145 00:53:53,779 --> 00:53:54,980 (farting on TV) 1146 00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,750 -(laughter on TV) -(doorbell rings) 1147 00:54:01,454 --> 00:54:02,888 Heather Williams? 1148 00:54:04,123 --> 00:54:04,957 Yes? 1149 00:54:05,057 --> 00:54:08,160 Hi. We're from the future. 1150 00:54:09,829 --> 00:54:13,032 We've come here to show you something very important. 1151 00:54:17,503 --> 00:54:18,971 Do you remember this, Heather? 1152 00:54:19,071 --> 00:54:22,908 This is a picture of you... farting in P.E. class. 1153 00:54:23,943 --> 00:54:25,711 I never farted in P.E. class. 1154 00:54:25,811 --> 00:54:27,179 Oh, yes. You did. 1155 00:54:27,279 --> 00:54:29,782 Two kids even smelled it and asked who farted 1156 00:54:29,882 --> 00:54:33,319 -and you said nothing. -I didn't fart in P.E. class! 1157 00:54:33,419 --> 00:54:36,756 It was a different kid! I was just moving my hip a little bit. 1158 00:54:36,856 --> 00:54:38,658 -Heather. Heather. -I didn't fart in P.E. 1159 00:54:38,758 --> 00:54:41,226 Heather, yes, you did, sweet pea. 1160 00:54:42,728 --> 00:54:45,264 I-I happen to have a stomach condition. 1161 00:54:45,365 --> 00:54:48,167 I don't know why you came from the future to narc on me! 1162 00:54:48,267 --> 00:54:51,437 Heather, we don't want kids to know you farted in P.E. 1163 00:54:51,537 --> 00:54:52,972 We wanna help you. 1164 00:54:53,072 --> 00:54:56,342 You just need to do exactly what we tell you. 1165 00:55:00,413 --> 00:55:01,681 (helicopter blades whirring) 1166 00:55:01,781 --> 00:55:03,649 Hey, what is that? 1167 00:55:09,121 --> 00:55:10,556 Stan Marsh? 1168 00:55:10,656 --> 00:55:11,791 Me? 1169 00:55:11,891 --> 00:55:14,193 Your presence is requested, sir. 1170 00:55:15,260 --> 00:55:16,729 Whoa, cool. 1171 00:55:20,299 --> 00:55:23,035 Get on in, sir. There's sparkling punch and doughnuts. 1172 00:55:23,135 --> 00:55:25,237 ("I Forgive You" by Kelly Clarkson playing) 1173 00:55:25,337 --> 00:55:28,240 * I forgive you, I forgive me * 1174 00:55:28,340 --> 00:55:30,476 * Now when do I start to feel again * 1175 00:55:30,576 --> 00:55:32,077 What's going on? 1176 00:55:32,177 --> 00:55:33,646 We have no idea. 1177 00:55:33,746 --> 00:55:35,515 * I forgive you, I forgive me * 1178 00:55:35,615 --> 00:55:36,916 * Now when do I start to feel again... * 1179 00:55:37,016 --> 00:55:38,718 * And the home * 1180 00:55:38,818 --> 00:55:41,120 -* Of the * -Whoa! 1181 00:55:41,220 --> 00:55:42,655 This is amazing! 1182 00:55:42,755 --> 00:55:44,657 -* Brave. * -Look, we're on the jumbotron! 1183 00:55:46,826 --> 00:55:49,194 (cheering) 1184 00:55:49,294 --> 00:55:51,063 * With a brand-new attitude... * 1185 00:55:51,163 --> 00:55:53,599 You guys, I'm sorry for acting like a dick during the pandemic. 1186 00:55:53,699 --> 00:55:55,401 I'm sorry too, dude. 1187 00:55:56,402 --> 00:55:58,871 Hello? Who-Who's there? 1188 00:55:58,971 --> 00:56:01,574 * Trying to figure out how to live * 1189 00:56:01,674 --> 00:56:03,943 * Doing it our way * 1190 00:56:04,043 --> 00:56:06,045 * No shame, no blame * 1191 00:56:06,145 --> 00:56:07,647 * 'Cause the damage is done * 1192 00:56:07,747 --> 00:56:09,649 * And, and I forgive you * 1193 00:56:09,749 --> 00:56:13,018 * I forgive you, we were busy living the dream * 1194 00:56:13,118 --> 00:56:14,620 Oh... 1195 00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:18,591 * Never noticed the glass ceiling falling on us * 1196 00:56:18,691 --> 00:56:20,826 * No shame, no blame * 1197 00:56:20,926 --> 00:56:22,194 * 'Cause the damage is done * 1198 00:56:22,294 --> 00:56:25,197 * And, and I forgive you * 1199 00:56:25,297 --> 00:56:28,601 * I forgive you, I forgive me * 1200 00:56:28,701 --> 00:56:30,936 * Now when do I start to feel again * 1201 00:56:32,438 --> 00:56:36,175 * If I hate you, what does that do * 1202 00:56:36,275 --> 00:56:38,944 * So I breathe in and I count to ten * 1203 00:56:39,044 --> 00:56:42,848 * 'Cause the lights are on * 1204 00:56:42,948 --> 00:56:44,517 * And I'm coming home... * 1205 00:56:44,617 --> 00:56:46,586 Holy shit balls. 1206 00:56:46,686 --> 00:56:51,791 Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic. 1207 00:56:52,625 --> 00:56:55,160 You're not sorry, you're just high. 1208 00:56:55,260 --> 00:56:56,829 I'm both. 1209 00:56:56,929 --> 00:56:59,499 * I forgive you, we were just a couple of kids... * 1210 00:56:59,599 --> 00:57:04,069 Here you go! It's our Post COVID Special. It's free. 1211 00:57:04,169 --> 00:57:05,838 No, really, we've all been through a lot. 1212 00:57:05,938 --> 00:57:07,372 Come on, take it. Thank you, baby. 1213 00:57:07,473 --> 00:57:10,209 Come on, everyone. Post COVID Special! 1214 00:57:10,309 --> 00:57:12,778 Here you go, folks, you all deserve this! 1215 00:57:13,579 --> 00:57:16,448 You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey. 1216 00:57:16,549 --> 00:57:18,383 -I love you! -Huh? 1217 00:57:18,484 --> 00:57:20,620 I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask. 1218 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,287 I just didn't understand. 1219 00:57:22,387 --> 00:57:25,357 Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often but... 1220 00:57:25,457 --> 00:57:28,027 No, no, no, I was being all high and mighty about it... 1221 00:57:28,127 --> 00:57:31,631 Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son. 1222 00:57:31,731 --> 00:57:32,932 You mean it, Dad?! 1223 00:57:33,032 --> 00:57:34,399 The pandemic's been awful. 1224 00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:36,268 We all need to just cut each other some slack. 1225 00:57:36,368 --> 00:57:37,803 I love you, Butters! 1226 00:57:37,903 --> 00:57:39,438 -...be sorry. -I totally forgive you! 1227 00:57:39,539 --> 00:57:41,173 Oh, cut yourself some slack. 1228 00:57:41,273 --> 00:57:43,075 We gotta get some more of this stuff. 1229 00:57:43,175 --> 00:57:44,710 * Couple of kids... * 1230 00:57:44,810 --> 00:57:47,446 Okay, come on, next! 1231 00:57:47,547 --> 00:57:51,617 * Doing it our way, no shame, no blame * 1232 00:57:51,717 --> 00:57:52,985 * 'Cause the damage is done... * 1233 00:57:53,085 --> 00:57:54,453 And then we were like, "Yeah, okay, yeah, 1234 00:57:54,554 --> 00:57:55,821 let's storm the Capitol!" 1235 00:57:55,921 --> 00:57:57,523 And it was a bad idea and we were just, 1236 00:57:57,623 --> 00:57:59,391 you know, we were just going a little bonkers there. 1237 00:57:59,491 --> 00:58:01,026 We shouldn't have stormed the Capitol. 1238 00:58:01,126 --> 00:58:03,195 ALL: That's okay! 1239 00:58:04,029 --> 00:58:05,965 I'm sorry. I thought about it 1240 00:58:06,065 --> 00:58:08,868 and I can't do Space Jam 2. 1241 00:58:08,968 --> 00:58:11,136 I just can't support Chinese censorship. 1242 00:58:11,236 --> 00:58:14,940 Oh, yeah? Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2, 1243 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,777 then I'm not gonna make Space Jam 2! 1244 00:58:17,877 --> 00:58:20,012 And nobody's gonna make Space Jam 2! 1245 00:58:20,112 --> 00:58:22,682 -Yeah! -ALL: Yeah! 1246 00:58:22,782 --> 00:58:23,983 -Yeah! -(cheering) 1247 00:58:24,083 --> 00:58:25,885 * And I forgive you. * 1248 00:58:25,985 --> 00:58:28,220 * * 1249 00:58:30,823 --> 00:58:33,058 (woman speaking Japanese) 1250 00:58:38,230 --> 00:58:40,532 Hey, everybody! I'm home, guy! 1251 00:58:40,633 --> 00:58:42,635 -Hey! Ike! -Ike, hi! 1252 00:58:42,735 --> 00:58:44,269 Ike, you made it back! 1253 00:58:44,369 --> 00:58:46,939 Well, of course! I wouldn't miss Canadian Boxing Day, buddy! 1254 00:58:47,039 --> 00:58:49,041 Look, everyone, Stan's back! 1255 00:58:49,141 --> 00:58:51,276 -(all cheering) -Hey, Stan! 1256 00:58:51,376 --> 00:58:52,778 Hey, guys! 1257 00:58:52,878 --> 00:58:55,615 Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars? 1258 00:58:55,715 --> 00:58:59,084 Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids? 1259 00:58:59,184 --> 00:59:01,020 BOTH: Uncle Stan! 1260 00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,823 There's the little ragamuffins! 1261 00:59:03,923 --> 00:59:05,324 Mom. 1262 00:59:05,424 --> 00:59:07,392 Hi, Stanly. 1263 00:59:07,492 --> 00:59:09,261 It's Mom! And Shelley! 1264 00:59:09,361 --> 00:59:11,731 Why are you acting all weird, Turd? 1265 00:59:11,831 --> 00:59:13,298 I don't know. 1266 00:59:13,398 --> 00:59:16,135 For some reason I'm just extra happy to see you guys. 1267 00:59:16,235 --> 00:59:18,604 CRAIG: Hey, look who's here. It's Kenny! 1268 00:59:18,704 --> 00:59:20,873 -(all cheering) -Kenny! 1269 00:59:20,973 --> 00:59:22,574 Kenny, what have you been up to, buddy? 1270 00:59:22,675 --> 00:59:25,210 Didn't you hear?! Kenny just won the Nobel Prize 1271 00:59:25,310 --> 00:59:27,847 for combining dark matter and breast implants! 1272 00:59:27,947 --> 00:59:29,882 Oh, you old dog! 1273 00:59:29,982 --> 00:59:31,283 Hey, everybody, he's on! 1274 00:59:31,383 --> 00:59:33,452 What a fantastic audience. Wow. 1275 00:59:33,552 --> 00:59:36,388 What is up with these bisexual Canadians, huh? 1276 00:59:36,488 --> 00:59:38,658 I guess they don't know whether to fuck their brother 1277 00:59:38,758 --> 00:59:39,859 or their sister. 1278 00:59:39,959 --> 00:59:41,994 (laughter) 1279 00:59:42,094 --> 00:59:43,528 Hey, Stan. 1280 00:59:43,629 --> 00:59:45,798 Wendy, you're back from Harvard. 1281 00:59:45,898 --> 00:59:47,499 Yeah, just here for the holidays. 1282 00:59:47,599 --> 00:59:50,703 You wanna maybe... spend New Years together again? 1283 00:59:50,803 --> 00:59:52,271 I'd love that. 1284 00:59:52,371 --> 00:59:55,107 Hey, fellas! Can I offer you some pupus?! 1285 00:59:55,207 --> 00:59:57,542 Thanks for choosin' Denny's Applebee's for your party. 1286 00:59:57,643 --> 00:59:59,945 Butters, you're still working here, huh? 1287 01:00:00,045 --> 01:00:01,681 Yup! I just made manager. 1288 01:00:01,781 --> 01:00:06,151 I love doing actual shit that pays actual money. 1289 01:00:06,251 --> 01:00:08,921 Hey, Stan, can you come here for a second? 1290 01:00:09,021 --> 01:00:10,555 What's the matter, dude? 1291 01:00:10,656 --> 01:00:12,491 Dude, he's here. 1292 01:00:12,591 --> 01:00:14,694 Cartman? 1293 01:00:14,794 --> 01:00:16,929 * Ready, set, go... * 1294 01:00:17,029 --> 01:00:20,065 Man, poor Cartman. 1295 01:00:22,301 --> 01:00:27,773 Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick! 1296 01:00:27,873 --> 01:00:29,574 Fuck you! 1297 01:00:29,675 --> 01:00:33,178 It's so sad he never did anything with his life. 1298 01:00:34,013 --> 01:00:37,516 Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan! 1299 01:00:37,616 --> 01:00:39,018 Hey, come on, fellas. 1300 01:00:39,118 --> 01:00:41,253 We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. 1301 01:00:41,353 --> 01:00:44,656 There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on. 1302 01:00:44,757 --> 01:00:46,759 Fuck you, Butters! 1303 01:00:46,859 --> 01:00:49,194 Fuck you, Eric! 1304 01:00:49,294 --> 01:00:52,431 Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast. 1305 01:00:52,531 --> 01:00:53,799 I don't know... 1306 01:00:53,899 --> 01:00:55,667 what got us through the pandemic 1307 01:00:55,768 --> 01:01:00,472 and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was... 1308 01:01:00,572 --> 01:01:03,242 may we have it for the rest of our days. 1309 01:01:03,342 --> 01:01:05,845 God bless us, everyone. 1310 01:01:05,945 --> 01:01:08,380 ALL: Cheers! 1311 01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:10,415 ANNOUNCER: Remember, folks, 1312 01:01:10,515 --> 01:01:13,152 weed can't solve all your problems. 1313 01:01:13,252 --> 01:01:15,687 But Tegridy can. 1314 01:01:15,788 --> 01:01:19,024 Tegridy Weed. 1315 01:01:21,060 --> 01:01:23,295 * * 93046