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1
00:00:09,279 --> 00:00:12,620
This is the creature who ruined my life
for many, many years.
2
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:14,620
Martin Butler.
3
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:19,340
Grooms, drugs and rapes children in
Rysip, London, UK.
4
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:24,220
I was raped and abused and drugged by
him.
5
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:28,500
He raped more young teenagers who still
haven't come forward.
6
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:33,060
He is currently living opposite a dance
school near a scout hut.
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00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,720
and in a very family -orientated
community.
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00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,800
I am really terrified that he's still
out there.
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00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,800
This is a call for victims and
witnesses.
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00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:46,680
Please come forward.
11
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,120
We need to get him locked up.
12
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,100
A diary of a London girl hippie.
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00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:15,020
A taste of the underground.
14
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,840
I started writing quite a lot when I was
a teenager.
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00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:24,120
If I didn't have anyone to talk to, I'd
just get my pen out and try and write
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00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,120
down all my feelings.
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00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,980
I used to keep journals.
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I'd probably write about things I would
want to have told my family.
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00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,820
I was only about 12 when I was at Girl
Guides and I soon hated it.
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00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:41,550
It was good doing first aid and
challenges and adventures and things,
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00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:45,470
more about learning how to become a good
woman, which is something I quickly
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00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:46,470
rebelled from.
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I moved in with a friend and her dad in
the Blue Roots estate.
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The fridge is always full of beer and
vodka and his table was laden with weed
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and solids and his bag in his pocket was
always full of whiz and pills.
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00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:07,740
I took so much and only ate cheese and
onion pasties and became ill and
27
00:02:07,740 --> 00:02:13,560
addicted. I started to trust her dad and
we'd cuddle up. I was so skinny,
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00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,180
spotty, delusioned and confused.
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00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:20,400
I thought it was normal to wake up tied
up with some...
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Sweppy hippy dripping on you.
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It wasn't, was it?
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I don't remember writing any of that.
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If I hadn't met Martin Butler, my whole
life probably would have been a lot
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different.
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00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:44,020
I was always a happy little girl. We
used to go take our bikes around the
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and go on long cycles with my family.
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We had a lot of dressing up clothes, so
we'd always be acting and performing.
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We had a treehouse in the garden that my
dad built, and it had double glazing
39
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,280
because it was a double glazer, so it
had a second -hand window in it. So we
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00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,900
felt like we were really lucky.
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They did try so hard to make everything
perfect for us, but I think it just
42
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doesn't always work like that, you know.
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I was about seven or eight. I think I
realised that there were problems.
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My dad was just drinking too much.
45
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:28,370
My parents' marriage started to fall
apart around that time as well, and my
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was quite violent.
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The house was horrific. It was horrible.
48
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No -one wanted to be there.
49
00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:41,370
So sometimes I'd sleep in the woods
with, like, some mates, or sometimes
50
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:42,370
my own.
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00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:47,030
And Lauren only lived down the road from
her. She kind of reached out to me and
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was like, why don't you come down the
park with us? So I started to hang
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with Lauren.
54
00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:58,750
So Laura and I was in school from the
age of, I think it was about two.
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00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:02,730
And yeah, we were in school right
throughout to our teens.
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00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,370
We'd known each other a long time. Both
our families knew each other.
57
00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:08,810
My name is Laura.
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00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,320
But yeah, Laura was really struggling
and I think she was just a little bit
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and it just broke my heart. So I did, I
tried to make her kind of join us a
60
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:18,940
little bit and she did.
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00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:24,880
We still sit underneath the shelter and
sometimes we'd have enough money to buy
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00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:25,880
like a can of alcohol.
63
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,240
We used to hang around outside the shops
and try and collar someone to go in and
64
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get them for us. And sometimes people
would do.
65
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:36,520
And some of the shops, they were quite
naughty. They knew we were underage and
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00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,800
they would still sell them to us.
67
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We were really young, I mean, even like
12, 13, when people used to buy us
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00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,700
alcohol. As an adult now, I'd be like,
no way.
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00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:57,460
We were allowed to go out all day with
the kids and hang around down the local
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00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:58,460
park.
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00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:02,060
And we used to hang around down the
hydro swimming pool.
72
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,060
And then off to the side of that was the
blue roof.
73
00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:13,620
Yeah, so always hung around down the
Blue Roofs area from a young kid, around
74
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,640
about, you know, 11, 12, 13.
75
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:21,340
The Blue Roofs in the beginning was a
really fun place to hang out with your
76
00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:26,200
mates. We were always just running in
and out and in one person's home and
77
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in another person's home.
78
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:33,080
It was a lovely community, but I suppose
when you're hanging around with kids,
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you just see the kids sort of thing. You
don't know what it's like when it comes
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00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,360
to the adults.
81
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:44,600
There was a lot of drugs there, I guess.
I mean, I was quite sheltered from
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that.
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One of my birthdays, I think it was my
14th birthday, where we were hanging
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around, we kind of thought, should we
get some puff or solids, whatever it's
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called now. My friends were encouraging,
well, let's go and get some. We didn't
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know how much it cost. We didn't know
how to smoke it, roll it or anything.
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00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:06,800
But someone said, well, Martin Butler's
the drug dealer. Why don't you go and
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00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,739
knock on his door?
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And I was petrified to do that.
90
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Half of our friends there lived on the
estate.
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00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,360
They already knew Martin.
92
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,860
We were really young and he was like mid
-thirties.
93
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He would have his windows wide open with
like the loudest music playing on the
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estate so you'd be able to hear him from
all over the estate.
95
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He opened the door and he let me in and
I was all by myself so it was quite
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scary.
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It was a real run -down, dirty property
and it was all dark, the curtains were
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closed, it smelled of cigarettes and
alcohol.
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00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:57,180
And he pulled out a big bag and he said,
here, take your pick.
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So I didn't know what it was I was
taking, obviously some kind of drug.
101
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,240
And then he was trying to talk to me, it
was really uncomfortable.
102
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And I got out there as quick as I could
do and run back to my friends.
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And when...
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The party came.
105
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That's when things got a lot more
serious.
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He got custody of his daughter.
107
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:26,240
So he'd spent a long time organising the
big party for her. She was 14, but we
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were all invited to his house.
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It wasn't a usual kids' party. There was
no cake, there was no balloons, there
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was no banners. There wasn't even
birthday presents or anything like that.
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00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,380
was just alcohol, music, drugs.
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00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,900
all out on the table ready for people to
help themselves.
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He had a corner sofa, which meant that
he could stand in the middle and have
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audience surrounding him.
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He had a letter opener that was like a
dagger, and he'd put speed on the end of
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it and put it in everyone's mouth.
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If you hesitated, he'd put more on it.
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00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,960
It quickly became a situation that
you're stuck in, and then, of course,
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00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,520
you come up on the drugs...
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00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:14,620
You can't exactly walk out into the
street or try and go home.
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00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,440
So the party escalated quite quickly.
122
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,960
There was like a house full up with kids
on ecstasy.
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00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,660
It was really loud music to the point
you couldn't really hear each other.
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He gave me ecstasy and lots of other
kids ecstasy and speed
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00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:39,240
and fetamines and we were as high as a
kite.
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The house was absolutely packed with
adults and kids dancing around, having
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He kind of whispered in my ear, follow
me.
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And he took me into the bathroom and he
locked the door.
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One of my friends said that they looked
underneath the door and they could see
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00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:05,160
our feet together so that they knew that
maybe something like a kiss had
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00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,160
happened.
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00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,540
But it was more than a kiss.
133
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:18,960
He undone his flies and he got his bits
out and he put my hand on
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his private area and he encouraged me to
move my hand.
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00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,080
And, yeah,
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00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:31,800
I didn't realise I was walking into that
situation. I don't know why I didn't
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stop it or scream or leave.
138
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:39,700
I think I was just petrified. I was
absolutely petrified. I was scared of
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I kind of went into this little girl
mode where I would just feel really
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00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:51,400
and not know what to do, but to just be
in that moment and do what was expected
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00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:56,540
of me. And he'd done his flies up and he
walked out of the bathroom and that was
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00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,480
that. And I couldn't believe what had
happened.
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And I felt powerless.
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00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,700
The grooming started when I was 14.
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At the weekend, we would hang around
down a local park and get drunk with our
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friends and stuff.
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And then all of a sudden, he would be
hanging around the park.
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He knew exactly what he was doing from
the beginning, giving us drugs and drink
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and reeling us in. And then I soon
become... I was definitely dependent on
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alcohol and addicted to drugs.
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When his daughter was around, us kids
would then knock on the door to see her.
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00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:47,730
And because we kind of had free run of
the place, up and down in the bedroom or
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sit on the sofa and we could help
ourselves to cigarettes and cans of
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00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:56,150
maybe you feel a bit more like you're an
adult than the kid that you are.
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In some ways it was somewhere to escape
to, you know, because it was a shelter.
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00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,600
The house was like a party house, six
out of seven days. There would be, like,
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full up with people in there.
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I love this film.
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We would have a night of being with
everybody and drinking and taking drugs
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stuff.
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But then I would completely black out.
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Then when I would wake up in the
morning, he would say, like, oh, we had
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really good time last night and I made
love to you.
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00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:35,730
So one, I then realised we had had sex
and two, because I couldn't remember it,
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I assumed that I consented to it.
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Then all of a sudden he told me that he
was in love with me and he'd given me
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this jewellery.
168
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:50,310
And then his daughter come back and she
walked in and there he was saying, I've
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got something to tell you.
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And she knew straight away. She just
looked at him and looked at me and said,
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just remember.
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00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:02,230
Are you okay?
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No, it's fine, it's fine. I just never
forget her face.
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00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:14,610
And she just looked at me and looked at
him and just said, no, not my friend.
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And I just, again, I just don't know why
I didn't speak up for myself.
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I don't know why I didn't stop it.
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I can't believe I'd done that to my
friend.
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After a short while, she moved to be
with her mum and she wasn't on the
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so I was kind of left having whatever
you want to call it, a relationship with
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00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,320
him.
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So he detached me from everything that
made me a kid.
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He would say that no -one accepted me
for me.
183
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No -one loved me as much as he loved me,
that sort of thing. My family didn't
184
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get me, my parents didn't get me.
185
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:19,250
When I went home, my parents didn't
really know what I'd been up to, so they
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weren't alarmed by anything.
187
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:27,710
And that was over the ages of, yeah,
really, 14 to 16.
188
00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:36,570
And I think that's where then there was
an overlap between Laura and I, and him
189
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and Laura had already started something.
190
00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:43,770
I don't know why, in my mind, I wasn't
scared for her.
191
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,400
I wasn't scared for her, and I should
have been.
192
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:59,860
Everyone knew about Lauren and no -one
stopped it, whereas with me, no -one
193
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,040
knew, cos I was, like, really shy.
194
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:05,720
I was, like, really painfully shy.
195
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,680
As my dad's violence escalated...
196
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:17,010
Because my family life was so bad and
because my mental health was suffering
197
00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:22,550
much, like, if I got thrown out, in the
night -time, you can't just walk up to,
198
00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:26,350
like, a school friend's house and say,
''Hi, can I come in?'' Because they'd be
199
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:28,330
like, ''Oh, no, it's school night.'' Of
course you can't.
200
00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:32,430
I was only 14 years old.
201
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:40,310
So I quickly made it so I didn't really
have a lot of choice of a...
202
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:45,040
then to go back there, you know, to
Martin's house.
203
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:55,660
So, at first, I'd wake up on the sofa
with him spooning up next to me, like,
204
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:59,800
almost pinning me on the sofa, and then,
like, putting his hands down my pants
205
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,559
and stuff.
206
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,100
I remember that happening, like, more
than once.
207
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:09,060
And then, from there, it, like,
progressed really quite fast, I think.
208
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:14,100
because I think there was, like, you
know, a lot of drugs involved.
209
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:22,000
Sometimes I would come to and there'd be
no -one else there and that was always
210
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,800
when, like, the abuse would happen.
211
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:31,200
Most of the abuse was waking up with him
doing things to me,
212
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:36,840
coming to and realising that I didn't
always have control over my body because
213
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,140
sometimes I was restrained.
214
00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:46,390
There was a few times when I was
genuinely very, very scared.
215
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:52,730
Like, the most time that haunts me is...
216
00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:59,550
..I woke up being raped by him with his
217
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:06,290
hands around my neck and to the point
where, like,
218
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:07,630
I passed out.
219
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,020
I thought I was dying.
220
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:16,740
And I remember coming to and just
sitting up, bolt upright, and seeing my
221
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,780
life flash before my eyes.
222
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:26,700
And really, in that moment, knowing that
he
223
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:33,640
could quite easily kill me, and I knew
at that moment that I've
224
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,820
got to get away from him.
225
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,820
That I was probably going to die there
if I didn't.
226
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:51,200
As I grew older and the years went by, I
really suffered terribly with anxiety
227
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,020
and panic attacks.
228
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:58,880
So I had gone to get therapy,
hypnotherapy, and all of a sudden it was
229
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,680
lightbulb moment in that therapy
session.
230
00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:07,480
maybe somebody else saying out loud all
of the stuff that he had done to me and
231
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,140
realising it was very, very wrong.
232
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,440
I was a kid.
233
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:18,339
Shortly after that, I did go to the
police and I remember going in so scared
234
00:17:18,339 --> 00:17:19,800
I didn't really know what I was going to
say.
235
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:27,800
I just said, I want to report this guy
that I've been sexually active with
236
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:28,800
the age of 14.
237
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:32,480
And I don't know who to speak to about
it.
238
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:38,700
And the police officer just said, well,
have you got any evidence of this? And,
239
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:43,640
you know, I just said, well, no, just in
me telling you. And they said, well, if
240
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,340
you don't have any evidence, then
there's nothing we can do about it.
241
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:50,700
And I left the police station that day
thinking nothing would ever come of it.
242
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,800
I'm just living with it, learning to
just live with it.
243
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:04,590
As the years went on, I started to
realise how bad the abuse I went through
244
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:10,030
If you've been raped, it's really hard
to have a healthy sex life afterwards.
245
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:15,030
And especially if it was your first ever
encounter, I didn't have a sense of
246
00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:19,930
what was normal. I couldn't fit into a
normal, healthy relationship after that.
247
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:25,750
I was 28 when I walked into the police
station that day.
248
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,510
So it had been a long time coming.
249
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,500
13 years since I'd got away from him.
250
00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:35,340
A video camera has been nicked off of me
in the street robbery.
251
00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:41,500
So when I reported that to the police
station, they didn't really take it very
252
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,740
seriously about the camera.
253
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:48,840
And then I was like, and one more thing,
when I was a teenager, I was raped and
254
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,280
abused and drugged by a really horrible
man.
255
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:54,340
And the man at the desk was just like...
256
00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:55,690
What? What are you saying?
257
00:18:55,930 --> 00:19:00,970
And I was just like, I think I want to
report it. And he was like, oh, OK, well
258
00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:05,050
done. So I just found myself, yeah,
telling the police everything, giving
259
00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:07,750
all the evidence I had, giving them the
jewellery that he'd bought me.
260
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:13,910
And they said, well, have you got any
witnesses? And I was like, OK. So I
261
00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:15,570
started thinking about Lauren.
262
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:17,630
So I contacted her.
263
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:22,450
Before I knew it, the police were coming
round to interview me.
264
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:27,140
I felt great about it. I thought,
there's no way he's going to get away
265
00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:29,800
We were given the court date.
266
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,820
I remember getting all dressed up and
ready to go to court.
267
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,520
Really, really nervous.
268
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:42,980
And then all of a sudden, I got a phone
call saying, it's not happening.
269
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,060
It's been thrown out due to a
technicality.
270
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,240
On the first day, it was thrown out.
271
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,980
And that's it, he got away with it.
272
00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,500
I was pretty inconsolable.
273
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:02,240
After waiting two years, it just took up
every part of me, those two years,
274
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,300
really.
275
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:07,560
Because the police basically shut me
down, that there was nothing I could do
276
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,560
about it, I didn't know what to do about
it.
277
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,380
I started thinking to myself, hang on a
minute, this isn't right, and if he's
278
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:17,540
done it to me, he can do it to other
people, and that's what frightened me
279
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:18,540
most.
280
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:55,260
No matter what lies you tell yourself,
you did this.
281
00:20:56,120 --> 00:21:00,460
Today, Lady Justice is staring down a
super predator.
282
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,960
You.
283
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:16,260
Around that time, I had such a fire in
my belly.
284
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:20,580
I was influenced by everyone posting
their stories online.
285
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,280
I just had my first daughter a year and
a half before.
286
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:29,160
I was terrified, you know, society as it
is, bringing up a daughter into it
287
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:34,880
after what I went through. I was a very,
very angry young woman and I felt like
288
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,920
I could try and get some justice.
289
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,620
I think the Me Too movement helped me
find the language as well.
290
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:49,560
The thought of him walking around the
streets still gives me absolute terror.
291
00:21:50,890 --> 00:21:55,270
Just even the thought of him, like,
watching, like, a schoolgirl walk past
292
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:57,790
something just makes me feel sick to the
bone, you know?
293
00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:02,530
Like, I know exactly what's in his head.
294
00:22:04,770 --> 00:22:08,910
And, yeah, it's pretty terrifying.
295
00:22:14,170 --> 00:22:16,150
I found him on Facebook.
296
00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:21,500
I kind of wanted to know where he was,
so I thought if I can sort of spy on him
297
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,740
to some degree, it would make me feel
safer.
298
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:32,960
I made a profile and called myself Lucy
Bateman and used a picture of a
299
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,400
young -looking woman that could have
been a teenager.
300
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:40,320
He had fallen for it hook, line and
sinker, like he added her straight away.
301
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,740
And I saw that there were loads of
photographs, people had tagged him in
302
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:46,740
photograph.
303
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:52,620
So suddenly I knew what he looked like.
He was an old man now, but he still
304
00:22:52,620 --> 00:22:53,620
looked like him.
305
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:02,980
I used editing software and just edited
three photographs together and put the
306
00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,840
text underneath it about what had
happened.
307
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,000
The moment I pressed send,
308
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:16,900
Everyone started to share it.
309
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:18,840
It had about 100 comments.
310
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:22,700
Within a few days, it had been shared 1
,700 times.
311
00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:26,260
So many stories were coming back to me
about him from other people.
312
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,160
I knew that face straight away.
313
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:33,420
I remember him. He lived at Brickett's
Close. He invited me into his flat. He
314
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:34,960
tried to kiss me. I was 12.
315
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,740
In 1978, I lived on the road.
316
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,440
And all of us kids at the time would be
playing out and he always talked to us,
317
00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:45,440
friendly but clearly now just a
predator.
318
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,040
After him trying to stick his tongue
down my throat, I didn't go in there
319
00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:54,620
After a few days, it all died down and
people stopped messaging me.
320
00:23:55,540 --> 00:24:00,700
But then, two months later, I got a
message saying that someone wanted to go
321
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:01,700
the police.
322
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:21,220
I recreated the blue roof from memory
where I used to live.
323
00:24:22,340 --> 00:24:24,560
This is what it would look like if you
was on Street View.
324
00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:29,340
And if you was to remove one and go down
the alleyway, that's what you'd see,
325
00:24:29,380 --> 00:24:30,720
and you'd see the street behind.
326
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,580
And my door was the middle one, and it
went up to the top flat.
327
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,900
When I moved into the blue roof, I felt
vulnerable.
328
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,060
I was 19.
329
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:46,300
I'd lost a baby.
330
00:24:46,620 --> 00:24:49,400
I had a pretty rough last year.
331
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,520
So that's my flat, the top of this one.
332
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,100
And his house was here.
333
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:03,780
When I met Martin and his daughter,
because of my loss, you just have that
334
00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:06,760
feeling that you need to fill that gap.
335
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:11,380
And I just saw him as a single dad with
a young girl, and I started babysitting
336
00:25:11,380 --> 00:25:12,580
at his place.
337
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,660
Yeah. That's him in the boat that I was
in.
338
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:22,500
I can't stand looking at that picture. I
want to burn it.
339
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:29,860
But unfortunately, at the minute, I
can't because it's important.
340
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:36,360
One day, I pulled up in the driveway,
and my phone went ping, ping, ping.
341
00:25:36,580 --> 00:25:40,340
One of them, I just flicked up, and it
was him, Butler.
342
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,080
There was a post about him.
343
00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:45,490
The ground opened up for me and I just
screamed. I'm like, oh, my God.
344
00:25:46,870 --> 00:25:48,750
I didn't know there was other victims
out there.
345
00:25:50,350 --> 00:25:51,750
I thought it was just only me.
346
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:55,570
It's the first time I've actually
thought about what can I do about it?
347
00:25:56,530 --> 00:25:57,530
I'm going to say nothing.
348
00:25:57,990 --> 00:26:02,050
I've done 30 -odd years with it in my
brain and I know it's there and it won't
349
00:26:02,050 --> 00:26:05,770
ever go away, but I've dealt with it and
I've been married, I've had kids and I
350
00:26:05,770 --> 00:26:09,110
can get on with that, but it's all
surfaces, all the time, surfaces.
351
00:26:10,330 --> 00:26:11,930
And I thought, yeah, I could just hide.
352
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:18,960
I looked at my children and I saw them
watching TV, laughing, and I thought,
353
00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:21,280
what if I met someone like him?
354
00:26:26,140 --> 00:26:28,480
I couldn't do it to another someone
else.
355
00:26:31,580 --> 00:26:34,600
I think that's what made me think, no,
no, we need to go to the cliff.
356
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,600
OK.
357
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,080
So, Mary, tell me why you're here today
to talk to us.
358
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:51,280
A few weeks ago, I noticed a post that
came on my social media, such as
359
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:56,220
Facebook, about someone that had
affected me 30 years ago.
360
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,040
And I just thought I was the only one.
361
00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:08,120
Turns out I'm not one of the posts that
I really feel.
362
00:27:10,190 --> 00:27:16,410
that I need to speak and tell you
363
00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:19,630
what happened and that
364
00:27:19,630 --> 00:27:29,630
I'm
365
00:27:29,630 --> 00:27:32,390
worried for other people.
366
00:27:34,910 --> 00:27:36,310
Elaine?
367
00:27:38,030 --> 00:27:39,630
is Martin Butler.
368
00:27:40,930 --> 00:27:43,590
He used to be a neighbour where I used
to live.
369
00:27:50,010 --> 00:27:55,450
After a few months of knowing him, we
370
00:27:55,450 --> 00:28:01,250
had some intimate moments,
371
00:28:01,270 --> 00:28:03,570
relationship -wise.
372
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,140
And I felt it was safe when he asked me
to go to his parents' house on holiday.
373
00:28:10,580 --> 00:28:16,060
We went round the little harbour
village, got fish and chips, sat by the
374
00:28:16,060 --> 00:28:17,380
watching the boats coming in and out.
375
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,920
In the evening, we walked to the pub. It
just seemed like he knew a lot of
376
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,100
people there and we just sat there
chatting, having a drink.
377
00:28:25,700 --> 00:28:29,100
We were both giggling and laughing and
had a really good evening, just so
378
00:28:29,100 --> 00:28:31,040
relaxing and just felt good.
379
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:34,660
And I remember we were getting a taxi,
but yeah, he got out and said, are we...
380
00:28:34,810 --> 00:28:38,050
Got to be a bit quiet because, you know,
parents are asleep, daughter's asleep.
381
00:28:38,610 --> 00:28:44,630
I woke
382
00:28:44,630 --> 00:28:51,530
up with my
383
00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:54,430
hands tied and my legs tied.
384
00:28:54,730 --> 00:29:01,650
And then I... And I realised I couldn't
move. I then started to say to
385
00:29:01,650 --> 00:29:03,730
Martin, or went to say to Martin...
386
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,760
What are you doing? I think I got the
words out. What were you before?
387
00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:10,360
He then attacked me.
388
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,560
Take your time.
389
00:29:28,140 --> 00:29:30,840
He inched my nose and my mouth.
390
00:29:33,260 --> 00:29:34,360
So I couldn't breathe.
391
00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:39,800
He then proceeded to rape me.
392
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,360
The light started going dim.
393
00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:48,220
It just started getting very dark.
394
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,680
I thought I was going to die at that
point.
395
00:29:56,660 --> 00:30:01,000
I moved my head slightly right.
396
00:30:01,810 --> 00:30:05,370
which released the grip slightly, and
then I pulled it right back into the
397
00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:06,370
pillow.
398
00:30:06,890 --> 00:30:08,650
And at that point, I could then breathe.
399
00:30:08,990 --> 00:30:13,290
So I took the deepest breath I could and
screamed, No, get off me.
400
00:30:13,930 --> 00:30:14,930
What are you doing?
401
00:30:15,090 --> 00:30:16,330
Get me out of this.
402
00:30:17,650 --> 00:30:20,890
At the time this happened, did you
report it to police?
403
00:30:21,330 --> 00:30:23,150
No. OK, why not?
404
00:30:24,270 --> 00:30:28,550
I felt it was... I felt...
405
00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:32,040
I put myself in a position.
406
00:30:32,860 --> 00:30:38,100
He blames me, I blame him. I didn't...
I'm scared.
407
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:39,560
I'm scared of him.
408
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:47,640
Rape wasn't me spoken about or attacks.
409
00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:51,700
I don't know if anyone would believe me.
410
00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:59,080
There's a lot of things that, while you
don't talk about it, Shane, disgust.
411
00:31:01,779 --> 00:31:05,800
He actually said, it's all your fault,
it's all your fault, rubbing his hands
412
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,920
his hand. I just remember him doing it.
Oh, my teeth are sick.
413
00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:15,600
So that blame, I kept it.
414
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,800
The time, the era, you don't talk about
it.
415
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,220
You know, I come from a family it's not
spoken about.
416
00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:25,320
You just don't, you don't say nothing.
417
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,560
You just keep it all hidden.
418
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,380
You actually think if you don't say
nothing, it's going to go away.
419
00:31:30,830 --> 00:31:37,330
And you don't need to talk about it
again, but unfortunately it doesn't go
420
00:31:45,850 --> 00:31:50,310
In 2018, I was given this case that
involved Mary.
421
00:31:52,450 --> 00:31:58,150
Her video was really compelling and
straight away I...
422
00:31:58,740 --> 00:32:04,740
believed what she was saying on the
video all rape investigations are very
423
00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:08,680
difficult because normally speaking
there's only two people in the room so
424
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:13,180
there's no actual witnesses you witness
what happened so therefore you have to
425
00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:17,720
think about the context of what's
happened what happened before what
426
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:23,020
afterwards who they've spoken to Mary
had given us a list of the people that
427
00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:26,720
had told and we spoke to all of those
people and they all gave us witness
428
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:27,720
statements
429
00:32:28,330 --> 00:32:30,950
I would have spoken to Martin Butler's
parents.
430
00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:34,930
They would have been quite key
witnesses, but unfortunately they were
431
00:32:34,930 --> 00:32:35,930
alive.
432
00:32:36,410 --> 00:32:39,350
Martin Butler was interviewed by the
Metropolitan Police.
433
00:32:39,870 --> 00:32:41,690
He didn't say much in his interview.
434
00:32:42,270 --> 00:32:46,790
He acknowledged that he had been in a
relationship with Mary, but obviously
435
00:32:46,790 --> 00:32:47,790
he hadn't raped her.
436
00:32:48,670 --> 00:32:51,430
When they got the case together, they
sent it off to CPS.
437
00:32:52,490 --> 00:32:57,170
It was a waiting game to decide whether
it was going to go to court.
438
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:03,600
I can't remember how long it was, but I
got my first email from CPS saying that
439
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,860
even though my video evidence was very
compelling, they didn't think there was
440
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:11,360
enough evidence to put it in front of a
jury.
441
00:33:29,260 --> 00:33:33,860
A prosecutor will have to determine
whether or not there is a realistic
442
00:33:33,860 --> 00:33:39,200
of conviction and whether it is in the
public interest to proceed against any
443
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,900
particular suspect.
444
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:47,900
Ultimately, it is an exercise in
judgment and lawyers disagree and that's
445
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:49,180
lawyers argue in court.
446
00:33:49,740 --> 00:33:54,520
I might consider that some evidence is
admissible where another lawyer might
447
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,240
consider that it's not admissible.
448
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:02,700
was the person making the decision under
the scheme, so it was my judgment that
449
00:34:02,700 --> 00:34:04,060
was important on this occasion.
450
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:09,900
I think the reason why I appealed for
the second time was when Sarah phoned me
451
00:34:09,900 --> 00:34:12,679
up. She said to me, you can appeal
again, you can appeal more than once.
452
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:16,480
And it's all the way she said it. I'm
like, what do you know that I don't
453
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:21,320
I get that feeling she made me feel she
wanted me to appeal, but she couldn't
454
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,319
actually say why.
455
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,800
I became aware of Laura and Lauren's
case.
456
00:34:27,389 --> 00:34:30,210
by way of a report provided to me by the
police.
457
00:34:30,449 --> 00:34:35,889
And having seen that one reference in
their original interviews to
458
00:34:35,889 --> 00:34:41,370
sadomasochistic behaviour on Butler's
part, I was determined that the police
459
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:48,210
would leave no stone unturned and re
-interview those witnesses and find out
460
00:34:48,210 --> 00:34:51,929
full extent of what his behaviour was
towards them.
461
00:34:52,670 --> 00:34:55,870
The Metropolitan Police still had their
files about their investigation into
462
00:34:55,870 --> 00:35:00,270
Lauren and Laura and what they had said
that Martin Butler had done to them.
463
00:35:00,670 --> 00:35:05,290
What Martin had done to Mary was very
similar to what he had done to Lauren
464
00:35:05,290 --> 00:35:09,330
Laura. When you've got similar type of
offending, that's when you can apply to
465
00:35:09,330 --> 00:35:12,530
the court to use those as bad character
witnesses.
466
00:35:14,250 --> 00:35:18,230
All of a sudden I got a phone call out
of the blue saying that someone had come
467
00:35:18,230 --> 00:35:21,290
forward. Really? Could this be possible?
468
00:35:21,590 --> 00:35:22,950
Could we finally get him?
469
00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:29,130
When the cops came to my house to
interview me, it gave me a little bit of
470
00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:34,190
but in reality, I didn't really trust
the system to help me.
471
00:35:35,110 --> 00:35:37,370
They went through it with a fine tooth
comb.
472
00:35:39,190 --> 00:35:41,090
Then I got the letter.
473
00:35:42,990 --> 00:35:46,790
They did find enough evidence to have it
realistic.
474
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:48,740
prospects of a conviction.
475
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:03,520
Look, there's Laura.
476
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,580
So really, we've known each other since
we were about two?
477
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,840
Yes. So that's me.
478
00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:11,940
That's Laura.
479
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,620
You just look so young. So young.
480
00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:18,350
And soon after that, I met... Martin
Butler.
481
00:36:19,530 --> 00:36:20,910
What was he like?
482
00:36:21,730 --> 00:36:22,910
He was different.
483
00:36:23,250 --> 00:36:26,930
I mean, he wasn't a friend, but I would
go and maybe have a beer with him and
484
00:36:26,930 --> 00:36:27,930
say hello.
485
00:36:28,750 --> 00:36:32,770
Oblivious to what he'd already been up
to with previous... He must have been
486
00:36:32,770 --> 00:36:34,950
laughing. It makes me sick.
487
00:36:35,150 --> 00:36:36,830
He must have been laughing at me.
488
00:36:37,950 --> 00:36:40,570
I just cannot believe the...
489
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:47,220
what Lauren went through without the
help of us as parents, and I can't
490
00:36:47,220 --> 00:36:48,440
myself for that. Didn't have a clue.
491
00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:52,260
As things moved on, just didn't have a
clue.
492
00:36:52,740 --> 00:36:54,080
We trusted everyone.
493
00:36:54,340 --> 00:36:56,380
Yeah. We just trusted.
494
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,340
But you both didn't know the half of it.
495
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,060
Because you always dropped me off at my
best friend's, and you met the mums and
496
00:37:03,060 --> 00:37:05,400
the dads, so why would you think
anything different?
497
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,100
I hid an awful lot. I hid everything
from you.
498
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:14,120
There was one time when I was in his
home and I heard the car and I said to
499
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:18,920
that's my mum or my dad. And he said,
oh, don't be silly, it's just a car. But
500
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,080
knew the sound of our car.
501
00:37:20,540 --> 00:37:24,060
And you come knocking on the door and
I'd run upstairs and I could hear you,
502
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,420
broke my heart. And he lied to me. He
did.
503
00:37:26,660 --> 00:37:27,800
He said that you weren't there.
504
00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:31,500
And I just didn't know where to go and
look for you. I walked in the woods
505
00:37:32,740 --> 00:37:36,680
I just couldn't find you. I thought you
might be just playing with your friends
506
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:37,680
in the woods.
507
00:37:38,570 --> 00:37:40,130
But I just couldn't find you.
508
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,230
I'm just so sorry.
509
00:37:44,010 --> 00:37:46,970
Just so sorry. Please, don't say sorry,
Lauren.
510
00:37:47,230 --> 00:37:48,590
Putting you through it, you know.
511
00:37:49,290 --> 00:37:51,350
No, don't ever say sorry.
512
00:38:05,630 --> 00:38:12,320
When it came round to the trial, I was
totally petrified in being in the same
513
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,100
space as him, hearing his voice.
514
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,980
I didn't want to be nowhere near him.
515
00:38:16,220 --> 00:38:20,660
And it kept going in my head, what if
they find him not guilty and I'd have to
516
00:38:20,660 --> 00:38:22,360
walk out on the same bit of street as
him?
517
00:38:22,860 --> 00:38:24,960
The fear was impossible.
518
00:38:25,980 --> 00:38:27,840
So I asked if I could do a video link.
519
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:33,840
Lauren and Laura, both of them wanted to
come to Truro to ask their questions in
520
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,580
person. In the witness room, we were...
521
00:38:37,020 --> 00:38:37,979
Kept separately.
522
00:38:37,980 --> 00:38:41,540
We weren't allowed to talk to anyone,
not even each other.
523
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,280
I was hyperventilating the morning.
524
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,720
My body was shaking. I was so nervous I
couldn't speak.
525
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,600
The first day, I was meant to be cross
-examined, but it actually turned out
526
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,700
that he didn't turn up till 2 o 'clock
in the afternoon. He should have been
527
00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:57,700
there at 10 in the morning.
528
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,900
His behaviour through it all was
thinking that it's an old case, they've
529
00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:05,700
evidence what they're going to do, I'm
going to walk out of this. The way he
530
00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:06,700
so...
531
00:39:07,180 --> 00:39:12,060
confident and, like, cocky with the
court system. He did think he was above
532
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:17,760
law. So I had to go back to the court
again the next day and the screen comes
533
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:22,580
and all I got to see was the judge, his
barrister, my barrister. He was trying
534
00:39:22,580 --> 00:39:26,500
to suggest to the court that nothing had
actually happened because we continued
535
00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:27,500
a relationship.
536
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,360
And I just had to be firm and say, no,
that didn't happen, that's a lie, this
537
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:33,360
the reason why.
538
00:39:33,740 --> 00:39:36,560
I was a bit, like, bewildered at what
was kind of going on.
539
00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:43,280
His barrister tried to insinuate that I
presented myself to him first and it
540
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:48,620
wasn't him. I still didn't know if we
were going to be believed because I kind
541
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:53,720
of went back into that, like, little
girl mode of it was my fault, you know,
542
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:57,400
must have been my fault sort of thing,
so I didn't know whether I would be able
543
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,360
to come across to the jury.
544
00:39:59,950 --> 00:40:06,050
as um that it was his fault and not
necessarily mine it's very difficult
545
00:40:06,050 --> 00:40:11,010
cross -examined by a defense barrister
who's only doing their job but trying to
546
00:40:11,010 --> 00:40:14,910
make out that you're not telling the
truth you've got three women saying that
547
00:40:14,910 --> 00:40:21,430
martin butler has done very similar
things to them at three different times
548
00:40:21,430 --> 00:40:25,770
the jury are hearing all of this but
there's no actual witnesses you witness
549
00:40:25,770 --> 00:40:29,870
what happened we just left the court
that day thinking actually we feel he's
550
00:40:29,870 --> 00:40:36,750
going to get off again that was a really
anxious day for me i just had to
551
00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:41,970
hope and pray that the jury could see
the truth and come to their conclusion
552
00:40:41,970 --> 00:40:48,070
that actually no he isn't safe to walk
around he's dangerous he will hurt
553
00:40:48,070 --> 00:40:53,550
another person he's in him he's not
going to stop he's just going to keep
554
00:40:53,550 --> 00:40:54,690
until someone stops him
555
00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:59,310
It got later and later in the day and
I'm like, oh my God, it's like half past
556
00:40:59,310 --> 00:41:01,210
three, about quarter to four, four o
'clock.
557
00:41:02,130 --> 00:41:05,150
And I got the phone call and I went, oh
my God, your heart's in your mouth.
558
00:41:05,390 --> 00:41:06,710
I just said, yeah, hello.
559
00:41:08,690 --> 00:41:10,130
Guilty. Straight up guilty.
560
00:41:10,550 --> 00:41:12,570
I'll never forget hearing those words,
guilty.
561
00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:13,910
Oh my God.
562
00:41:14,190 --> 00:41:15,470
Yeah, it was a good, good feeling.
563
00:41:16,450 --> 00:41:20,170
When he got the guilty verdict, sorry,
it just makes me emotional thinking
564
00:41:20,170 --> 00:41:23,590
it because it was just so poignant in my
life, you know.
565
00:41:25,390 --> 00:41:26,390
Huge relief.
566
00:41:26,930 --> 00:41:28,150
It's a huge relief.
567
00:41:29,230 --> 00:41:31,850
Finally, finally, finally, the world has
listened.
568
00:41:32,850 --> 00:41:34,670
Everyone's listened. Everyone's gone,
yeah.
569
00:41:48,470 --> 00:41:52,330
Blue Roots are down there somewhere on
that road.
570
00:41:52,730 --> 00:41:53,990
I haven't been back.
571
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:59,600
Since I left in 1990, I was there for
two years living in fear.
572
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:06,360
So going back, this will probably set it
in my mind that maybe it's not the
573
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:11,520
place that I was at the time, not the
place. So hopefully it might help heal
574
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:12,520
a little bit.
575
00:42:24,259 --> 00:42:25,259
We've got you.
576
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:26,680
We're going to do it together.
577
00:42:27,300 --> 00:42:28,300
All right.
578
00:42:29,260 --> 00:42:33,380
I was saying to Laura, in some way, I
know it's going to be hard.
579
00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:35,580
It could be quite healing. Yeah.
580
00:42:36,020 --> 00:42:37,100
That's what I think, actually.
581
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,960
It's just, yeah, my nan's all over the
place. Cool, she's cool.
582
00:42:41,220 --> 00:42:42,440
Have you got waterproof mascara on?
583
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:44,260
How's it not running?
584
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:45,400
I don't know.
585
00:42:45,620 --> 00:42:46,620
I have no idea.
586
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,800
The only reason I wore mascara today, I
was like, if I wear mascara, then I
587
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:50,840
can't cry. That's good.
588
00:43:13,230 --> 00:43:16,030
I'd never thought I'd be walking on this
street ever again in my whole life.
589
00:43:16,750 --> 00:43:18,090
Because that was my flat there.
590
00:43:20,170 --> 00:43:24,170
I didn't tell my closest family, my mum,
my dad, my sisters, what happened.
591
00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:32,510
When the article came out in the
newspaper, I had to take this paper and
592
00:43:32,510 --> 00:43:37,930
mum. And then she just asked little
questions and then she opened up about
593
00:43:37,930 --> 00:43:39,950
that in her past, it made her...
594
00:43:42,060 --> 00:43:47,780
talked to me about what happened to her
and then then she just said to me you're
595
00:43:47,780 --> 00:43:54,740
very brave it's not what i expected
people would say
596
00:43:54,740 --> 00:44:00,740
to me actually made me feel that i could
have talked in the beginning this is
597
00:44:00,740 --> 00:44:06,860
the one
598
00:44:06,860 --> 00:44:08,780
should we go and have a look
599
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:13,240
You can still see everything in there.
You can see in there.
600
00:44:14,620 --> 00:44:18,260
Yeah, that's it. It doesn't look that
much different to me, to be honest.
601
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:24,060
When I look at that, I think to myself,
I remember what happened in that room, I
602
00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:27,720
remember what happened in that room, and
I remember what happened down there.
603
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:32,080
That's what it makes me... I remember
literally standing here, the first time
604
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,160
ever did anything to me.
605
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:38,200
Running out of the house and standing
here wanting to go and get my tie to go
606
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,220
school because I'd left without the tie.
607
00:44:42,020 --> 00:44:45,560
If I had not met Martin Butler, my whole
life would have been different.
608
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,200
But I wouldn't want to be different to
who I am now.
609
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,860
It's given me a real feisty edge.
610
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,840
Anger actually got me the justice I
deserved.
611
00:44:57,340 --> 00:44:58,279
You all right, darling?
612
00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:59,500
Yeah. You all right, man?
613
00:45:00,260 --> 00:45:02,860
So I feel, like, really happy, but...
614
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:08,640
It shouldn't have been such a battle to
get the justice we got. It shouldn't
615
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,640
have been so hard.
616
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:15,060
I'm pleased that they've got a nice
garden and stuff because it makes me
617
00:45:15,060 --> 00:45:18,840
think that that energy's gone now and
things change.
618
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:26,280
Even though he's now in prison, he's not
actually been trialled for myself and
619
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,240
Laura. But Laura and I get our justice
because of Mary.
620
00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:38,010
I'll never be free of Martin Butler. He
will always be there.
621
00:45:38,250 --> 00:45:39,910
But I definitely got closure.
622
00:45:40,130 --> 00:45:43,990
I could hold my head up higher and I
felt proud of everything that we'd
623
00:45:43,990 --> 00:45:46,750
achieved. My life's more than just
Martin Butler.
624
00:45:47,170 --> 00:45:48,170
Yeah.
625
00:45:51,150 --> 00:45:52,910
That's it. I've seen it now.
626
00:45:54,590 --> 00:45:56,810
Put it where it belongs and move on.
627
00:45:59,370 --> 00:46:00,410
We're here together.
628
00:46:01,580 --> 00:46:05,200
We're all thriving in life. Like, you
know, we're trying, aren't we?
54203
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