Original subtitles

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so

[Applause]

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nothing like a good prank to start off

the weekend

check it out this place is crawling with

them

ah

mateys tis the pirate

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attack of the lawn gnomes

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oh it's just got to be in here i can't

believe you wrote to ask maggie whoever

she is she's got to be the most clued

out person on campus

it's here she printed my letter oh dear

maggie there's a guy in my art class who

never seems to notice me he's not a very

good artist but he's really cute how can

i get his attention signed d

look it's him it's pablo from art class

hurry what does maggie say

i just knew that d was you

could you say it a bit louder i'm not

sure those kids at the back of the quad

heard you

dear d

you should tell him what you really

think of his artwork when it comes to

chicks guys value honesty even more than

looks

uh did she say chicks

boy that maggie sure hit the nail right

in the old noggin die you should go over

there and tell them the truth

ah

okay i'm gonna do it

i can't watch this call me later when

you need a shoulder to cry on now

remember be completely honest you'll

love it

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uh hi pablo what are you drawing it's my

favorite tree on campus

what do you think

oh it's really

uh

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it's really kind of derivative honestly

i've seen better pictures hanging on the

wall of a daycare

so would you like to go out and get a

coffee sometime

how could you be so

cruel

don't you know that i'm a sensitive

artist

i'm not gonna cry i am not gonna cry

weird that wasn't supposed to happen

if i ever find maggie i'm gonna give her

more than just bad advice

it's the center let's go

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ow

sorry diana

hey job how's life at the center

treating you oh it's good billy and me

are helping mom billy catch

i love this game would you too please

refrain from doing that

sorry mom

i have a strange case for you agents the

town of huntsville is apparently being

terrorized by a number of mysterious

small creatures cool they're probably

some form of many exoplasmic beings sent

to earth to collect human dna as i was

saying no one knows what these creatures

are because no one has had a close look

at them

sorry mom java's bad thrower

don't worry we'll clean it up won't we

job

so what are these creatures actually

done reports are sketchy what we do know

is that a number of residents have

disappeared i want you to investigate

immediately and i want you to take those

two agents with you

uh to tell you what we'll take them off

your hands if we can take your suv

that is completely out of the question

i've driven with you before and there is

no way

ow

not a scratch martin

come on guys let's burn rubber

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oh this is great we got a full tank it's

a sunny day and we're in cruising mode

shouldn't we at least try to be

inconspicuous hey listen to this letter

dear maggie i'm a classical violinist

but i've fallen in love with a girl who

only listens to hip-hop i can't stand

rap but she won't let me listen to

beethoven what should i do java down

with hip-hop yo bro

so what does maggie say dear nerdlinger

classics are played out it's time to

ditch the violin and get some turntables

you may not be cool but at least you can

act it

that's maggie's dumbest advice yet oh

what's wrong with classical music i

think you just proved maggie's point

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everyone seems to be spooked around here

let's check it out

excuse me uh we're here to check out

reports of uh

how are we gonna get information from

people who are too spooked to talk to us

i just saw something in that alley

it's probably just a cat come on

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that was definitely not a cat that's

good you guys check that way billy and i

will go this way

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look outside

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this is almost too easy

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so these creatures can teleport as well

oh looks like we may have underestimated

them

let's go

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dumpsters

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i think i got something

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that must be the world's smallest

firefighter

whatever these things are they're

impossible to catch

hey this is strange why would a creature

need a pda maybe you can't remember who

it's supposed to scare hey job you all

right i think they took java

but how they sneaking by us

look a list of names and addresses

finally a clue

maybe it'll help us find out where java

went well

might as well start at the top of the

list

shane morrison we're coming for you

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hello

shane

we'd like to talk to you

he's not getting away that easily right

it's booby trapped

huh oh what an amateur he obviously

doesn't know who he's dealing with

[Applause]

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that's no way to greet house guests

sorry

i thought you guys were the creatures

what are you doing here anyway

your name was on this pda that we found

on one of those creatures

that belongs to my buddy jerry

they must have gotten him and now

they're coming after me guys check this

out

it looks like someone or something tried

to sword its way into the house if i'm

not mistaken i believe this town is

under attack by big mean ninjas

ninjas i don't think so

bio scan selected

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this sword is made of cement this makes

absolutely no sense cement ninjas this

is worse than i thought

we'd better check the next person on the

pda

do you know what trisha yeah she's my

friend too i've been calling her but she

hasn't been answering i meant to go

check on her but i've been too scared to

leave the house if we promise to protect

you will you show us where trisha lives

your safest bet is to stay with us

i guess it's better than waiting for the

creatures to come back

[Laughter]

sweet ride yeah it's customized like you

wouldn't believe check out this

acceleration no martin

did we hit it

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hey what's the car

they look like lawn gnomes we're being

attacked by lawn gnomes

oh this is just embarrassing

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mom is not going to be happy about this

for little guys they sure do a lot of

damage

time to put a full-size hurting on you

little freaks

oldest trick in the book

hey this one looks like java

maybe we should call it javette

wait a sec

it is java

oh how'd they turn something that big

into something so small that's my friend

trisha

wait she's kind of cute

so apparently these creatures can turn

humans into living gnomes

is there something you're not telling us

shane a couple of days ago jerry tricia

and i stole the pirate gnome from this

old lady's house

ah mateys tis the pirate

it was just a joke i mean we we do it

all the time and she must have hundreds

of them and what did you do with the

gnome nothing jerry said that he was

gonna hide it somewhere i haven't spoken

to him since only one thing to do we

need to return to the scene of the crime

these creatures are a menace

you're more than just a menace i think

we should stay away from that green mist

it looks like your prank kind of

backfired

martin what's the best way to let a girl

know you like her well in my fast

experience i found that girls like bad

boys so you just have to do something

really wrong to impress her

bailey

we could have been turned into lawn

gnomes that was even worse than the

advice that maggie gives

don't let him take me i don't want to be

a nose

how's that for gratitude

now how are we gonna find the old lady's

house it's simple we just need to look

for the house with a yard full of gnomes

or a yard that used to be full of gnomes

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they're all gone nothing left for you

kids to take

ma'am we need to ask you a few questions

about your lawn gnomes i make them the

dearest little outfits

look

some kids thought it would be fun to

kidnap my little darlings so i showed

them and how exactly did you show them

that's much better deal

they're coming this whole town is being

destroyed by your little darlings you

have to tell us what you did to them

before it's too late no

you just want to hurt them who you kids

are all alike now who wants a slice of

some nice huckleberry pie

oh

no time for pie look man you gotta face

facts those gnomes are the ones doing

all the hurting now yeah i wanted to

teach those kids a lesson so i try to

spell when they stole my pirate i guess

it worked but then all my darlings ran

away

i think this is the spell

mama's rhubarb cupcakes

it's just another recipe and for the

record

ew

oh this is it here you go

transportative spet

i can't read your writing

no no now where are my bifocals

[Music]

my boys are finally home give us our

pirate friend now

i wish i could but i really don't know

where he is wrong answer

you have to call them off i don't think

they want to listen to me anymore

why don't we all sit down and enjoy some

homemade nut pudding

that pirate is the key to stopping all

of this you go i'll hold these guys back

why don't you pick on someone your own

size leave him to me he stole my brother

and now it's time to teach him a lesson

he's coming with me

[Music]

way to save the day billy you were quick

on the draw with that plan thanks martin

now the only way to stop this is to give

them back their buddy i need you to

patch into the center

you watch activated i'll upload the

properties of that cement claw and find

all the matches in the city

the gnomes are riding all over town but

there's one that's not moving that must

be the pirate let's go

oh

yep mom's definitely not gonna be happy

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ah map said the missing gnome is around

here

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or up there

come on

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the little fella should be right here

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unless my calculations are a little

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[Applause]

off any chance i can reason with you

guys didn't think so wish me luck chilly

[Applause]

just like i planned it

it's time for you to join us

it's been fun and all but this ends now

welcome back brother

and now that we are all here it is time

to restore purity to the gnome world

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hey dad you know you look pretty cute as

a gnome lose the gnome jokes martin i am

not in the mood

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agent mystery i told you not a scratch

but

i saved the town that is true but don't

you ever even think about driving it

again my insurance premiums are going to

go through the roof java hold on buddy

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i liked it better when she was a gnome

but she's still really cute i know but

when she was small at least i had a

chance with her

i just want to thank you for helping

save me

you're my hero

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[Applause]

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this place is heartbreak city and it's

all maggie's fault you can't blame ask

maggie if these couples weren't meant to

be together

wait a second the only one capable of

giving such awful advice is you you're

maggie aren't you

actually i was maggie i should have

known hey my advice was solid oh yeah

what about maggie's advice that guys

should get in touch with their inner ape

it doesn't matter anyway i was kicked

off the paper they said they found

someone who was a real romance expert

it's true my time with tricia taught me

a lot about love and relationships huh

can you believe it one thing's for sure

your advice couldn't be any worse than

martin's

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you