Original subtitles

[Music]

uh

hello

is anyone there

you frightened me the wind yes very

strange indeed

constables look

the awakening

[Music]

[Music]

hello

i am so the master of disaster

i can't believe mr munson gave us an

open book test after i stayed up all

night cramming

at least the book was in italian

[Music]

i crammed

wait a minute

i suddenly get the feeling that we've

been had

oh that little

it's been weeks since we've had a

mission and somebody has way too much

time on their hands oh you're not

talking about me are you huh who else

you're the most immature guy i know so

on the outer limits of losertude

hey i was thinking of planting a

seething nest of maggots in your

meatloaf but even i have limits i've had

it with your lame practical jokes this

time you've gone too far oh after that

scene i just caused in the cafeteria i'm

never gonna be able to eat in there

again martin trick java me no like

tricks oh oh take it easy can't you two

take a joke i mean come on lighten up i

was just having a little fun

the center ah

finally

clear

diana lombard clear

java the caveman player

hey guys how's tricks don't say tricks i

never thought i'd be saying this billy

but i'm so happy to be going on a

mission martin's been driving us

uh billy i wouldn't if i were you what's

wrong somebody call a medic it's too

late they got me

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did you see the look on his face

brilliant

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hey mom uh what's in the box it's a

micro singularity a micro whoa

a mini black hole i'm studying its

gravitational effects now follow me

please martin

this morning we received a report from

xi'an china sensors confirm paranormal

activity on an extremely large scale the

three of you will be leaving immediately

to investigate sweet i'm getting hungry

oh i bet you they have pretty good

chinese food in china did it ever occur

to you that china is about more than

just food it's a land of culture and

food

this way please

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interesting

this can only mean one thing

but it's gonna take more than a parade

costume to pull one over on the master

oh man do you have any idea how hard it

was to get java near this thing it just

so happens that while the two of you

were conspiring in a pathetic attempt to

prank me i've come up with a theory hmm

just one check it out lion tracks

complete with broken lion claw it looks

like it's made of marble exactly and

then there's this

substance unknown whatever it is it's

unknown to the center so what's your

theory then master well judging from the

clues i would say we're dealing with

some kind of mutant fog monster or maybe

the statue is stolen and the tracks are

there to throw us off interesting theory

perhaps i would have thought the same

thing had i not been here to witness the

statue coming to life myself uh did you

say it came to life i did not surprising

since the ancient palace was excavated

we have seen some

unusual things in this village now

that's my kind of cultural experience uh

hey what's with the poster oh yes the

scepter of xi'an one of our oldest

cultural treasures last night it was

taken from our museum perhaps only a

coincidence spot

troubling nonetheless well if the two

are related we'll keep an eye out for it

speaking of eyes i was wondering if

don't even think about it if you think i

just opened the door for a gross fake

eyeball trick you're sadly mistaken

so

where can we find this palace it is in

the north of the village however i would

caution you against going there we

believe it is

haunted haunted

awesome

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incredible

hey i read about this place in eastern

history class this entire army was

sculpted by hand there's something odd

about them

now that's what i call a coffin see if

the you watch knows who's inside

legend

java no like this place we go now relax

java it's probably just a ghost

ghost he's only joking jabba it's okay

so what's the legend deck say he's known

only as the first emperor it says he

rose to greatness by uniting the feuding

tribes into one great empire but he

ruled it with an iron fist martin look

it's the scepter the one that was stolen

from the museum as his legend grew so

did his thirst for power he enslaved

anyone who defied him those in his favor

crafted a magic scepter to grant the

emperor immortality no wonder someone

would want to steal it this tells about

how his subjects weren't cool with the

idea of them sticking around forever so

they turned on them and tuning them in

ah very funny again nice try but you're

not fooling me it's gonna take a lot

more than some wishy noises martin i

swear i'm not doing this there's

something in here with us

i was just about to say the same thing

back away slowly dragons can only see

sudden movement

i hope you got that from a reliable

source of course fantasy gaming monthly

i was afraid you were gonna say

something like that

maybe we ought to run

[Applause]

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oh

oh

wait for me

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diana

[Laughter]

diana i'm coming

only problem is i don't know where i'm

going

perfect timing

billy this isn't a good time diana's in

trouble oh i think you're all in trouble

someone's cooking up some major mojo

here martin and that powder you sent us

to annoys can reanimate non-living

matter

that's good to know billy thanks but

unless you can see through walls i

really need to find diana

afrida can't help you there i'll just

get out of your hair

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hey

uh

we don't have to tell anyone about that

little freak out do we buddy

so i talked to billy he gave us the

center's analysis but i'm still thinking

zombies

yeah java the lion

what this for

i really wish i could tell you but i

never pay much attention in chemistry

class quick i'll lock the door

someone's been playing mad scientist

here huh no wonder the village thinks

this place is haunted

yeah

diana hello can you hear me

she must be completely turned to stone

diana's never gone this long without

yelling at me for something

i bet there's an antidote here somewhere

we can turn her back to normal

you locked the door right

you are not friends of the master

he will be most displeased

don't worry about us we were just

leaving okay

okay i'll give you credit that was a

pretty cool but now can you undo this

though we may have use for you when he

awakes for what to be some kind of

hunched out igor assistant well you've

got the wrong guy buddy

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i need one of those from my room back at

borington

that's the scepter you stole it i stole

nothing

it will soon be in the hands of its

rightful owner

then you shall see greatness

he left us alone oh man we'll be out of

here in a flash this guy is so bush

league

i'll have to remember the right trick

that might make a good prank

huh this guy desperately needs a label

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java try some of those

what happened

i don't feel so good

oh can you walk

yeah i can walk but i feel like i ate

cement for breakfast

if i have to go back to school like this

promise me you'll just leave me here

gladly

[Applause]

special

how are we gonna stop him with all that

magic i'm working on it and forget magic

let's hope he doesn't know kung fu

i call upon

as it reaches the new meridian

don't move don't move

we already tried

nice to see that heart of stone you have

come in handy one more crack like that

and you're gonna taste these fists of

stone

well you might want to use them now sis

i can't ride it you may be clever boy

but you will never stop us

okay

it seems you have no one now to protect

you boys

mystery

[Laughter]

the dust i can move again

company of his grand army

[Laughter]

what did you do

don't worry about me get out of here

you are quite fortunate

to have witnessed the awakening

unfortunately it will be the last thing

you see

perhaps we will let the emperor's army

finish you off

i can't watch

what is the meaning of this

emperor

your army this is not my army i do not

understand

the army it was facing the wrong way

it's not here to keep people out it's

here to keep the evil emperor in

then

this could get messy

all done

good work java

you should have seen it be i had it

going on

i'm sure it was uh something oh what

about him i think we better leave him

the way we found him

that works for me all i want to do is

get back to my room and catch some z's

this mission wore me out

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don't leave me

how do i get rid of this thing

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uh

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you