Original subtitles

[laughter]

And that is how you mine for gold, Wizza.

Woo! Got the ore carts filled, Black Death.

You know, we probably have enough to purchase

those goggles that were a little, uh...

Us to see, procure, and drink from the...

[together] Holy Grail of Blinding.

Oh, yeah.

Um, Sir Bickle?

♪ [lounge]

Sir Bickle?

Paging Sir Bickle.

What? Are we done getting the boring things

to put in the boring thing to take to boring town?

Look, mining for gold is a little boring.

But it is an important side quest.

You know what? Sometimes, this game

is just too much like my mom.

Full of chores.

I just don't get what having to help a guy gather ten frogs

has to do with me using Skull Cracker to bash stuff.

I mean, seriously, do you even know

how long it takes to get to these frogs?

I got to take a Pegasus over the Spongy Mountains.

Yeah, well life's not all fun and games.

Except for the parts of life where we are playing a game,

which is...

what we're doing right now.

Huzzah!

Ladies dance salute!

♪ [rap]

- [vocalizing] - [exhales]

All right. Good work, muchachos.

We have leveled up.

No, you just watched Wyatt and me level up.

Jealous?

You have a ton of side quests you have to finish before

you can join us on the Tame the Night Stalking Serpent Mission.

Yeah, that doesn't sound that exciting.

Taming a giant snake?

- Who breathes fire. - Whatever.

And whose venom, they say, tastes like root beer

- but kills instantly. - Man!

That does sound exciting.

Once we tame the giant snake,

it will willing give us its molted skin,

which we can wear to wade through the toxic swamp.

Hey, guys.

You were right.

Side quests are important,

and so is taming soda snakes.

So, after some real soul searching,

I decided to let you sign on as Sir Bickle,

and do my side quest for me.

- You're welcome. - Nu-uh.

We've been telling you

if you keep slacking on side quests,

this would happen.

I don't have time for them.

I have a bunch of IRL quests

to prepare for the school ski trip.

There's no way you're going on that ski trip, Dante.

I bet you haven't sold one of the 100 candy bars you need

to go on this trip.

I've eaten one.

And I plan on eating another one later, so that's two.

You can't eat 98 more candy bars between now and Friday,

let alone pay for them.

Wait, we have to pay for them? Oh, man.

Where am I going to get the money for two candy bars?

I, on the other hand, have sold

five times the amount of candy bars required.

At this time tomorrow at the school assembly,

I will be awarded the fundraiser Buddy Of the Year certificate.

IRL achievement. Cha-ching.

I really hope that's not the only reason for that assembly,

because if it is,

people are going to boo you.

Man, I can't believe they booed me.

And why are you even going?

You don't do the Alpine thing.

No, no, I will.

I've been reading a lot on angular velocities and...

snow.

I am ready to take the plunge.

You are ready for a face full of slope.

But if you want me to teach you, just ask me.

You know I'm an amazing snowboarder, right?

Yeah, I think I'm gonna start with skis

because there's two of them,

and let me tell you, there is safety in numbers.

That makes perfect, if totally weird, Wyatt sense.

No.

I'll teach you old school,

and in return you can owe me a future favor.

- A future favor? - Yes.

I do this for you, and at some point in the future,

I will come to you and ask you to do something for me...

and you will do this something...

no questions asked.

So I get what a future favor is,

but why are you being all Voldermort-y?

There're only $4 apiece. I'm your son.

Don't you love me $400 worth, Barbara?

A mother's love is priceless, Dante.

Well, I'm comfortable putting a price tag on love.

[whispering] $400.

Yeah, well I can't give you the money.

I'm saving it to pay for the removal of the tattoo

that I'm sure you're gonna get if I turn my back for just one second.

So I canget a tattoo.

No, you are not tricking me into having the tattoo conversation.

Dante, if you want to go on this ski trip,

you need to earn the money,

and stop relying on other people to do all of your work,

so that you can have all the fun.

You're like Wyatt, but with way more lipstick.

I want a new mom.

[both gasp]

You know, Dante,

even if you sold those candy bars,

I'd only let you go if you finish

the list of chores that you have been avoiding.

I don't remember a list.

I don't shut that a lot.

- It's also on the fridge. - I eat out.

And the bottom of that skateboard.

Sneaky, Barbara, sneaky.

That's right, Dante.

You think you made up sneaky? Come on, you're my son.

And, number one on this hit parade is you getting rid

of the tether ball pole in the back yard.

I'll totally use that again, once I get a new tether ball.

I buy you another tether ball, you're just gonna

pop it, put it on your head

and then pretend you're Amelia Earhart all over again.

[sighs] Number two, make a bed.

Hmm, great.

[phone rings]

Nice, nice, once more. See if you can scramble your face a bit.

Ah, sick!

I totally got it.

Uh, so sick.

[groans]

My, you're a tall one.

Yep.

Been able to go on any ride in any theme park since about...

nine months ago.

Pretty proud of it.

[laughs]

You are as funny as you are tall.

I am Sir GuyWhoGathersFrogs from the New Newport Realm.

New Newport?

You do not want to know what happened to Old Newport.

Blood fires.

Sounds like a bad time, but a cool band name.

- Blood fires. - I am in search of the great

and noble Sir Bickle.

He and I are going to gather frogs so I can level up.

Wow! Oh!

You're not a freak. You're a leak.

No, I don't have to go. I went along the way.

Yep, he's a leak. Here's what I figured out.

He is part of one of your side quests.

What are we gonna do about it?

We are not going to do anything.

The guy leaked out because you didn't want

to do the boring stuff, remember?

- He's your responsibility. - Hey!

I have an idea.

How about I do nothing.

What's the worse that could happen?

Well, unless you help him finish his quest, so he can level up

an NPC in a sailor suit will be following you around

- for the rest of your life. - Awesome.

My, you're a tall one.

This is a total rip.

I gotta help that guy level up all by myself so--

Why do I need to help you level up?

Oh, I have to battle the Elite Five-Armed Blood Marauder.

- He's very tall. - You think everyone's tall.

He is tall. And he has five arms.

I have to defeat him to save my village.

[phone rings]

Sorry, gotta jet.

There's a potential injury that needs to be filmed.

You guys are my clan. I'm sure you'll come through for me.

See ya!

No, you can't ditch us with your problems.

Relax. Watch.

I have to go. I think Sir Bickle and I are gathering frogs.

Give Sir Bickle this when you see him.

Thank you.

Nice.

Okay, let's talk about

this Barney-the-Dinosaur sleeping bag you're wearing.

[whistle blows]

All right, Wyatt, let's do this.

Wow, that is a lot of purple.

Man, I really trusted that salesgirl.

- Uh-huh. - Hold up, Angie.

Are you teaching him how to ski?

Yes. I'm doing it for a future favor.

A future favor?

I never thought you'd have the jewels to owe Angie.

Is a future favor a lot different than a regular favor?

Enough chit-chat. Let's warm it up.

Okay.

What are you doing?

- Warming up. - Not like that, like this.

Run down to the coffee corner,

get me one of those amazing maple scones,

and a mint herbal tea, take the lid off,

run back here without spilling anything.

What does that have to do with skiing?

Well, running with the maple scone will give you the smell

of the trees, and the steam from the hot tea

will kind of be like trying to ski through snowfall.

- Got it. - Go!

Where were you with the camera, dude? I totally nailed it.

You stuck that 180 to tail slide in the bowl?

No, I nailed my face on the bowl.

- Right. - You used to be there for all my big injuries.

I don't even know you anymore.

[groaning]

Did you get that?

[moans]

Man, it's not my day.

But now it's all better.

You seem upset.

You know what always makes me feel better?

Collecting frogs. Let's go, shall we?

Look, I know you have to collect frogs.

I get that. It's your name.

It's what you do.

But I have my own problems, Sir Guy.

I can see that. These are a lot of quests.

"Make bed"?

First we have to find and fell a tree for wood

to make the bed frame,

then you have to find way more

geese than you would think

for feathers in the mattress.

Is this your quest list?

No. It's your quest list.

Mine?

I don't recall having to do anything except for...

What was it again? I've forgotten.

Just kidding, I haven't forgotten.

- Gather frogs! - No, no, no.

You see, the people of New Newport

sent me this list

with additional quests for you to do in order to level up.

Ohhh...

Oh, like you're totally understanding these to be true?

Or, oh, like I'll need to say other things to convince you?

My, you're a tall one.

Stop right there, pal. I'm not buying anything,

I'm not signing anything. I'm not supporting any causes.

It's just, um...

My friend, Sir Bickle, and I are going to gather frogs.

Oh. So you are guys are trying to raise money

for, like, a summer camp thing.

Some of my happiest moments were at Camp Weemawan.

I'll take four.

Thank you.

Uh, are you sure this hastily-constructed ski trainer is safe?

It will be, once I finish this spell of construct.

Alan Richards Orvis.

Woo!

Um, it's perfectly safe.

The directions say you gotta use a safety strap.

So why don't you jump on the treadmill, just make sure

you put it on your wrist.

As long as you say it's safe, I am sure that it is safe.

Wyatt, you just have to take a deep breath and say--

[inhales] ...I am part of this mountain.

[inhales]

I am a part of this mountain

that is not actually a mountain.

It is wood and a treadmill, and it could kill me.

[groans]

And go.

Seriously, go.

Why aren't my legs moving?

All right, look Wyatt. This is simple.

Watch.

Sure, the varsity QB can do it.

Wyatt, our problem is that you think too much.

Um, that's it.

You just have to do.

See? Nobody got hurt.

Man, you were good at selling ski candy on Wednesday.

And you were great at changing those light bulbs.

And you are most awesome at digging.

You're like-- You're like a mole.

Are you sure there are frogs under here?

You never know. There might be.

We should hurry up with that. I've got a ski bus to catch.

Ski bus.

What sort of trap do you need for a ski bus?

- Dante! - Oh, my!

That sounds like an angry tall one.

No, it's my mom.

[gasps] Check it.

I just saw that we got another task.

"To not be seen by thy lady."

Right. Um...

Ooh!

Yeah. No.

- No? - No.

I was just inside, and do you know what I saw?

A made bed, the bathroom light works,

and there was an empty dishwasher.

I thought I was in the wrong house.

Yep, it's all done. I did it.

Totally done by me. All of it.

I also sold all my ski candy.

[gasps]

See, Dante, I knew I was right

in giving you just a little tough love.

Okay, you have fun on the ski trip.

- Okay. - Mm-hmm.

- You. - [laughs]

- You. - [both laugh]

Okay, we really should be getting back

to finding those frogs under this pole.

You know what? Turns out I misread the list.

And you can are totally done, dude.

Nice. Time to catch my bus.

Really?

I feel like I want to find those frogs.

Nope, all that stuff you did helped you level up

so you don't need to gather any frogs.

♪ [celebratory singing]

Huzzah!

And now you can go home.

Thank you, Sir Bickle...

for aiding me in my side quests.

- [blows tone] - Uh, what's that?

It's that like a party horn or something?

Oh, it will be a party.

A party of pain.

Because you helped me level up,

now I can defeat the Elite Five-Armed Blood Marauder.

[growls]

That's a well-named thing.

How do you feel about some more hiding?

All right, Wyatt, you're up.

You can do it.

It's now or never.

Bus loads in an hour, no pressure.

He's lucky it's not duck hunting season.

Why aren't they answering their texts?

Sir Bickle, you keep yelling at that box.

Do you have tiny little friends inside?

No, well, yes, sort of.

Look, I've got to tell you something.

Can it be after we defeat the Five-Armed Blood Marauder?

'Cause now I've leveled up

and can defeat him, instead of run from him.

So...

what happens if...

by chance you don't defeat him?

Oh. Ah, well, then he destroys me.

And that's when the Blood Fires start.

Okay, uh, here's a plan--

more a wild, panicky idea, really.

You go out there

and grab that sword tether pole thing

- from its stone. - [gasps]

Like the legendary sword in the stone.

- Yes. - Is this the magical weapon I need, Sir Bickle?

It couldn't hurt.

And I'll distract him while you do that.

[shouts]

Serpentine! Serpentine!

[straining]

Serpentine.

All right, take the stone with the sword. That works too.

[shouts]

His arms are like lizard tails.

- That's why he has so many. - Oh.

[shouts]

Hey!

Well, I guess that's that.

Good luck with everything.

I've got a ski trip to pack for.

And you've got a new...

Newport to get back to.

My work has just begun, Sir Bickle the Brave.

I have 29 more Blood Marauders to defeat.

- [sighs] - What?

29 more of those guys?

We got lucky once.

But you'll--

You'll be toast for sure if you have to fight

29 more Five-Armed Marauders.

29 times five arms is...

It's a buttload of arms.

Relax, Sir Bickle.

Now that I've leveled up, I'll be fine.

- [blows] - Dude--

Confession time.

You might not have exactly...

leveled up.

But I-I-I...

I did everything on the quest list.

Yeah.

You did the stuff I needed doing,

not the stuff you needed doing.

The frogs.

Yeah. We need to find you 10 frogs.

What?

What do you mean, you're sold out of frogs?

It's dissection season at school.

What can I do?

You can't make frogs out of nothing.

All I have to do is conquer my fear of starting.

Here I go.

This is it.

Nothing is stopping me now.

[sighs]

You know what? He's not going to do it.

Let's just put this stuff back.

Tulta Munille!

Ahh!

[frogs croaking]

A little help, Sir Guy.

Those are frogs?

They look a little slimy and sort of jumpy.

Yes, what did you think they would be?

I don't know. I guess I thought

they'd be a little bigger, or...

more like a monster.

[frog croaks]

You have my thanks.

For what?

Making you do my chores?

For finally telling the truth.

And for giving up your bus safari.

I'm sure that bus would have been delicious.

I thank you, and my village thanks you.

Okay.

There you go.

Ten frogs.

[loud explosion]

Woo!

Hey, I feel bigger.

Bolder.

Stronger.

Huzzah!

Yeah! Huzzah!

You leveled up.

For real.

[loud explosion]

Now get in there and blow your horn, jazz man.

Go kick some Blood Marauder butt.

Farewell,

Sir Bickle the Liar.

Sir Bickle the Liar.

Well, I guess that's fair.

I would have gone with Sir Bickle Who Eventually Told the Truth!

Hey.

Heard what happened to your ankle.

I can't believe Wyatt and Lyle left without me.

It's a ski trip.

I'd ditch them if they broke their ankles.

That's what guys do.

We're loyal till the second something better comes around.

Guys are dumb.

I'm not as dumb as the guy who owes you a future favor.

Yeah, Wyatt owes me big time.

So I heard about what happened to you and your friend.

- Sir Guy. - Whatever.

Saved a village from destruction,

gathered some frogs, missed a ski trip.

Did you know you can eat a bus?

Dante, you followed through and something,

even though it wasn't fun.

That means you gained some valuable experience.

And in my mind, you, uh...

Da-da-da-da!

Huzzah! You leveled up! Huh?

Huh? Pretty good, right?

I kept the cannon hidden in here,

and you didn't even know, did you?

- Girls are dumb. - Yeah.

Now, I can't walk,

so you need to go get me a maple scone.