Original subtitles

NARRATOR: This is my boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

MAN [OVER RADIO]: 3 and 1.

The Dodgers came within inches of winning

this ball game in the bottom of the 9th

with a spectacular sliding catch... by Lonnie Smith,

with two on and two out, on a fly ball

down the right field line by Reggie Smith,

kept the Phillies in it.

The 3-1 pitch to Monday.

A drive to right field! Back goes Smith, to the track,

to the wall. Monday's hit it out and the Dodgers win!

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

JENNIFER: We won! Aww.

Ohh... Am I getting to first base?

Mm-hm.

Second base?

Mm-hm.

Ah.

Third base?

[LAUGHS] Uh-huh.

Home run.

Yeah? Mm.

Darling. Hm?

Ah.

Please... just don't send

nine players up to the plate.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[♪♪]

[PHONE RINGING]

[CONTINUES RINGING]

This better be important.

Hello.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Oh, hi, Stanley.

Uh, why you calling so late?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay, Stanley. I'll, uh... I'll talk to you tomorrow.

[♪♪]

What happened?

You know Jack Fulton at the office?

Yes.

Well, he passed away.

Had a heart attack.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

[♪♪]

This is Bill Westfield, one of my attorneys.

This is Mrs. Fulton.

How do you do? Hi.

This is Jack's sister, Dorothy.

How do you do?

Jack's son, Jess. Hi, Jess.

How you doing, Jess?

I'm okay.

Hello, Jennifer.

I've asked Bill to oversee everything.

Uh, before we begin,

I'd just like to say one thing, that, uh...

my relationship with Jack was much more

than an executive here at the company.

You know that. I mean,

you know that he was my friend.

And Jennifer and I would just like to extend

our deepest sympathies to all of you.

Thank you.

Please, uh, sit.

I'll try to make this as brief as possible, Mrs. Fulton.

Uh, some years ago, uh, Jack made Jonathan

the sole executor of his estate.

So, on Jonathan's behalf, I'll read the will.

"I, Jack Fulton, hereby bequeath

"all my worldly possessions to my wife, Valerie.

"This includes my life insurance, my stock and bonds,

"and cash on hand.

"I leave the care and trust of my son Jess to her,

"and," uh, "know, she will wisely use this money

"for his upbringing and education,

"as well as for her own support.

"In addition, I wish to leave a little keepsake to my son.

"I pass on my old collection of baseball cards to Jess.

"I collected them when I was a boy.

"They're my fondest memories of childhood.

I set my hand this day, June 4th, 1975.

Jack Fulton."

Uh, his sister wasn't included in the bequest?

Well, I'm sorry, that's... That's all there is.

Well, Mr. Westfield,

there... must be some way for me to give

some of the stocks to Dorothy,

if I so choose.

JONATHAN: Valerie... there are no stocks...

and there are no bonds.

Wh... what?

Mr. Hart, what about insurance for Valerie and the boy?

Now, J... Jonathan, what is all of this about?

My husband was your vice president.

He and I live very nicely.

And as concerned as Jack was about this firm,

he wasn't that concerned about his own business.

I tried to convince him to buy some blue chips

and some T-bills, but he just wouldn't listen to me, Valerie.

I... I don't understand.

Look, we were never in debt.

There was always plenty of cash on hand.

That's because he borrowed on the insurance policies.

[SIGHS]

Look, Jonathan, I-I don't mean to seem maudlin,

but his was no pauper's funeral.

Mr. Hart.

Where did the money for the funeral come from?

[♪♪]

Oh, Jonathan.

Thank you.

Uh, would you just excuse me for just a minute.

Uh, D-Dorothy.

Are you gonna be staying in town a few more days?

Yeah, sure. Good.

Staying with you and Jess will help.

Valerie...

my brother was to be the success in our family.

My father gave him the best education.

He wanted him to have every chance.

To leave you and the boy penniless...

it's just such a waste.

[SNIFFLES]

Rex. The wife got stuck with a mortgage

and the kid got a pile of bubble-gum cards.

That's all there was.

Yeah, no. I know.

All those years I did without.

For his education... for his trips abroad.

And, uh... I got nothing back.

[SCOFFS] I wasn't even in the will.

Yeah, well...

if you ordered champagne from room service...

cancel it.

[♪♪]

May he rest in peace.

JESS: So, Mr. Hart, how long have you had that glove?

Why don't you try, uh, "Uncle Jonathan?"

All right. Uncle Jonathan, how long?

Well, this glove, see,

was modeled after an old Joe DiMaggio glove.

Does that give you an idea?

Joe DiMaggio. Doesn't he do coffeepot commercials?

That's the man.

Okay, here's a grounder to short.

Fly it over here to first and we'll get him.

He's out.

Listen, it's a little late, don't you think?

Why don't we head back for lunch? Okay?

Okay. I enjoyed that.

[♪♪]

Ah. You two major leaguers have a good catch?

Well, he's a major leaguer.

I need another season in Albuquerque, I think.

[CHUCKLES]

Would you mind if I took him out to have some lunch?

Oh, no. That would be wonderful.

Good. Come on, Jess.

I'll take you out and we'll get a bite to eat.

I'm not too hungry.

Oh, I'll tell you what. Let's take a look

at that collection of cards your father left you.

I really don't feel like it.

You know, when I was a kid,

I collected cards just like those.

I'd love to see them.

All right.

Here's the closet.

This must be it.

Well, let's have a look.

[GRUNTS] Boy, it's kinda heavy.

[GRUNTS]

Hey, there must be 10,000 cards in there.

So what?

Well, let's see what you got here.

Look at this.

Hey... Ted Williams.

Yogi Berra.

Willie Mays.

One of the all-time greats.

Huh.

Old-timers.

Old-timers, huh?

Well, I don't have any use for 'em.

Mom wants 'em thrown out.

Why don't we just take it downstairs

and leave it for the garbage man.

Well, Jess, they're yours.

I mean, you can do with them what you want, but, uh...

how about giving an old-timer a chance to look at

some of his childhood heroes, okay?

Before you do that?

All right.

Thanks.

That's, um... Ted Williams.

[♪♪]

Well... I better get going.

Your favorite nephew's in my bedroom with Jonathan.

Don't leave without saying goodbye.

Okay. I wouldn't dream of it.

Joe DiMaggio.

Babe Ruth.

Isn't that a candy bar?

Yeah. They named a candy bar after him

because he was so famous.

You know, these cards are worth a lot of money.

I've heard that on the news.

JESS: The news? JONATHAN: Mm-hm.

I've also read about it in the Wall Street Journal.

You know, you see, any of these cards

that are over 25 years old,

they call 'em collectibles.

And they're a terrific investment.

I mean, they could be worth more than

art, real estate, gold.

Your dad could be

sitting on a fortune, here.

A fortune?

I'm telling Mom.

Well, wait a minute. Let's wait for a second.

Let's find out what these cards could be worth

before we say anything to her.

See if we can find somebody that handles this kind of thing.

[♪♪]

[PHONE RINGS]

ANNOUNCER: The 3-1 pitch to Monday.

A drive to right field.

Back goes Smith, to the track, to the wall.

Monday's hit it out!

McKenna Sports Memorabilia.

I'd like to get an idea

of what an old collection of baseball cards is worth.

Tell me what you got. The condition and the years.

Well, they're, uh, 30, 40, 50 years old...

in mint condition.

Thousands of them.

JONATHAN: I've got Hark Aaron's rookie card...

the, uh, original Brooklyn Dodgers,

and, uh...

I've got a 1952 Topps card of Mickey Mantle.

Well, that '52 Mickey Mantle you've got

is going for as much as $3,000.

[♪♪]

Three thousand dollars?

For one card?

In 1952, you could buy six of those cards

and a stick of bubble-gum.

You see what I was telling you about?

Well, look, not every card

goes for that kind of money.

Only the superstars and the old, rare ones.

But it sounds like you're sitting on about $250,000 worth.

A quarter of a million?

Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars' worth?

Well, uh, the owner is very anxious to sell.

Well, I can't handle a sale that big.

But next Sunday at the Miramar

is the annual California Baseball Card Convention.

It's strictly cash and you'll find

plenty of eager buyers, traders and sellers.

That's Sunday, the Miramar Hotel, card convention.

Right.

You know, you're lucky.

Most people either throw out their old baseball cards

or have them stuck up in closets.

And they don't even know their real worth.

Right. Well, uh, thanks a lot, Mr. McKenna.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Let's get this stuff back together.

Ought to be safe and sound here until Sunday, huh?

Stick that one in there.

Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. See?

That is a fortune.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Did you pick up the plane tickets home?

We're not going home... yet.

What do you mean, not yet?

This room cost $80 a night.

By Sunday night, I'll buy you a whole floor.

Did you stop off at the bar downstairs?

Do you know why this hotel is filling up for the weekend?

[SCOFFS]

'Cause the circus came to town.

What... are you talking about?

This hotel is filling up for the weekend

because starting Sunday,

there is an annual baseball card convention

right in the Grand Ballroom.

You did stop off at the bar downstairs.

No.

But I did stop off at Jess' and Valerie's

for a little family get together.

And we are going to be loaded with a lot of very valuable,

very untraceable baseball cards to sell here Sunday.

Does Valerie know how valuable these cards are?

Well, she does now, thanks to Jonathan Hart.

But nobody knows I know.

And not only did my brother receive

the preferred treatment in our family,

but he also got lent by me a lot of money,

which he never paid back.

I also invested in a few stocks

that turned out to be losers, that he suggested.

So the cards are just a way of paying me back.

Well, you just can't break in there and steal them.

No. No, I can't.

But...

I can keep in touch with Valerie and find out

when she's going to be home

and when she's not going to be home.

I was counting on your reputation

for breaking and entering to get the cards.

Is it really worth the risk?

Jonathan had 'em appraised.

How does a quarter of a million dollars sound?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Like money in the bank.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Well...

I thought a picnic with just the two of us

would cheer us up.

Figured. Five blocks and the car overheats.

Should I get some water for the radiator?

[SIGHS]

No. I'll call the Auto Club,

they'll send a tow truck.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

JESS: Mom, help! Mom!

[♪♪]

Mom!

Mom! Mom!

[GASPS]

Stop!

Get out!

[GRUNTS] No!

Mother.

Mother!

Oh.

Oh, Jess.

Call the police.

Maybe we surprised him before he...

They got anything.

Oh, my neck.

My cards.

Oh, he must've messed up my cards.

[GRUNTS]

Funny. The suitcase weighs nothing.

All Dad's cards are gone.

Gone? Oh, Jess.

[♪♪]

This is great.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Reggie Jackson was right.

There is big money in baseball.

It's the Harts.

REX: You're not gonna convince me they're into baseball cards.

I swear, I grabbed those cards and got away clean.

If the Harts find the guy who just bought 'em,

he can describe us perfectly.

I assume there are mug shots of you

from coast to coast.

Well, I have no intention of being a three-time loser.

So I'll find our buyer before the Harts do.

[♪♪]

["TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME" PLAYS ON LOUDSPEAKER]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Hey.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh. No, thank you.

No, thanks.

Oh, darling, look at this.

The Chicago Cubs. Isn't that sweet?

I'd like to buy that.

You? The Cubs?

Oh, sure. I feel sorry for them.

How much is this?

Uh, $95.

Ninety-five dollars?

Well, it was 1945.

That's the last year the Cubs won the pennant.

Oh.

Well, thank you very much.

Ninety-five dollars?

I don't feel so sorry for them anymore,

they already won the pennant.

Darling... why don't you

work this side of the room

and I'll work that side.

Right.

Do you know someone by the name of McKenna?

Oh, yes. This is he, right here.

Thanks very much.

You're welcome.

Mr. McKenna?

Excuse me.

Uh, I'm Jonathan Hart.

We, uh, spoke on the phone the other day

about that collection of cards?

Oh, right. Right. I'm glad you made it.

You found a buyer for the cards?

No, I was wondering if you could, uh, tell us whether

somebody else found a buyer for the cards.

Somebody else? I don't get it.

Well, you see, um... our cards were stolen.

And we thought maybe the thief

came here to try to sell them.

Bujie... anybody sell a mint collection

in the 250-grand range?

About, uh, 10,000 cards?

That's it.

Oh, the $3,000 Mantle, Babe Ruth and Ted Williams?

Sounds like it. Uh, who bought it?

A guy named Wilbur.

I sold him a program for the '48 World Series.

Um... Oh, there he is.

Thanks very much.

Nice seeing you.

Hey, lady. How much is that, uh,

Washington Senators penknife?

Well, the Senators are no longer a franchise,

so things are hard to get.

Uh, 50 bucks?

Sold.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Excuse me. Mr. Wilbur?

Yes. Uh, my name is Jonathan Hart.

How do you do?

I'd like to talk to you about

that collection of cards that you bought.

They're stolen. Stolen?

Yes, I'm sure that you bought them in good faith.

And sold them in good faith.

So fast?

About 10 minutes ago.

I paid 260,000 for 'em and turned right around

and found a buyer for 300,000.

Gentleman named Brooklyn. Has a suite upstairs.

Well, uh, what really concerns me

is, uh, who you bought them from.

[♪♪]

WILBUR: Thieves, huh?

Oh, I didn't get their names.

They? Yes.

JONATHAN: There were two of them?

That's right. He was, uh, about 35, and...

[GRUNTING]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

MAN: Oh. Oh, my God.

I struck out.

[♪♪]

Did the Harts catch up with Wilbur?

Not before I did. Listen, we gotta pack up

and get out of here, but fast.

Not too fast. Use your head.

Dear Aunt Dorothy should continue

to visit Valerie and look in on little Jess now and then.

We'll leave in a week...

so you don't arouse suspicion.

Besides... it'll give us a little time to shop...

for our trip to Acapulco.

[♪♪]

JONATHAN: He's alive.

But until he can talk, the thief could be long gone.

Yes, gone, just like the cards.

Well, not "gone" gone.

Why not?

There's a Mr. Brooklyn

in this hotel who bought them all.

Now, we told Jess we'd get the cards back for him.

If Mr. Wilbur was willing to sell them...

then maybe Mr. Brooklyn will be.

[♪♪]

Hello.

Mr. Brooklyn?

I'm Cary, his secretary.

Oh. We're Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

I was wondering if Mr. Brooklyn would be interested

in selling that collection of cards that he bought today.

Oh, Mr. Brooklyn never sells his cards.

Oh, we'll make him a very generous offer.

Surely he'd sell them to us.

Uh, perhaps you can win the cards you want.

This may be too rich for your blood,

but tomorrow night, Mr. Brooklyn will be here

with several other important collectors,

flipping their cards.

It's the country's highest stakes match.

But I warn you, he's very good.

He's almost unbeatable.

You'll need a minimum of $1000 in cards to get into the game.

And a great deal of luck.

We'll be here.

It's formal. To get in,

just tell the security guard the password.

[CHUCKLES]

It's Ebbets Field.

Mm. [CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHING]

Ebbets Field? Flipping?

What's going on?

Let's get down to the convention floor.

I gotta buy some cards so I can get in the game and flip.

Darling... I think you've already flipped.

Come on, will you?

[♪♪]

JONATHAN: We really did the right thing

by asking Jess to stay here with us tonight.

Mm. I think so too.

Be a nice change of pace for him.

Yeah, and with his mother in the hospital and everything.

We really did the best thing. Mm-hm.

Isn't that awful? Imagine. Tsk.

A thief stealing baseball cards.

[FREEWAY BARKING]

Freeway?

Hey, Freeway.

What's the matter?

What's bothering you, boy? [WHIMPERING]

[BARKING]

[♪♪]

Uh, something must be wrong.

[JESS SOBBING]

You're thinking about your dad, hm?

You miss him.

Yes, I do.

I've tried not to cry, but...

You know something?

What?

Sometimes, it's just, um...

better to... just to cry.

Just let it go.

Uncle Jonathan?

Where is he?

He's in a special place, Jess.

Heaven?

I'm sure he must be there.

He's also in your heart.

You see, his...

His spirit will never leave you.

His spirit?

The special way that he feels about you.

His love for you.

That'll never leave you.

Uncle Jonathan... can he see me?

It's possible.

You can see him though, can't you?

All those special times you had with him.

All those great days you spent with your dad.

That's his spirit.

That'll be with you.

Always.

And forever.

You understand what I mean?

Yes. I do.

[♪♪]

Now... what I have to do...

is to match that card and then I win.

You win. Very good, Mr. H.

Oh, I get it.

Thanks, Max.

I was a champ in school, you know.

But that wasn't exactly yesterday.

This Mr. Brooklyn could clean you out.

Don't worry. Uncle Jonathan's got the hang of it.

[PHONE RINGING] Oh, thanks, Jess.

[CHUCKLES] Here. Take a whirl at it.

Hart residence.

Just a second.

Hey, Jess. Your Aunt Dorothy wants to say hello to you.

Here, you try a couple with me, darling.

Hi, Aunt Dorothy.

Hi, Jess, how are you?

I'm okay.

Jess, any luck in catching the thief who stole your cards?

No, um, Mr. Hart found out where the cards

finally ended up.

And he's gonna try and win 'em back for me.

Win them? How's he gonna do that?

Well, he was the champ of school.

From what I hear, there's a fortune in cards up for grabs.

I heard something about a security guard

and a password.

Sounds like a big deal, huh?

Well, wish him luck for me.

Jess, I'm going to have to

head back to Detroit in a couple of days,

so, um... how about catching

a double feature with me this afternoon?

Okay. Oh, no, you ask the Harts.

Gonna take him to the movies, it'll be good for my image.

Smart.

Okay, honey, that's great.

I'll pick you up in about an hour.

Right. Bye-bye.

Do the Harts have any clues about the stolen cards?

Mm-mm.

But according to Jess, Jonathan's going to try

to win a gold mine in cards tonight at the hotel.

Hmm. He's gonna try to win cards.

Yeah, and from what I can gather,

there's a fortune involved.

Security guards and that sort of thing.

Now, Jess describes Jonathan as some sort of pro at it.

Well, if Mr. Hart's such an expert at winning cards,

wouldn't you like to be his partner in the haul?

What do you mean?

I risked going back to jail for life...

to break into that Fulton house.

Baby... we've come this far.

Let's grab all the cards...

the Harts are trying to win tonight.

Rex, even if Jonathan wins a million dollars' worth,

you think he's going to hand them to us,

like so much charity?

He will if he thinks we have the boy.

No.

[♪♪]

Kidnapping's going too far.

You simply take the boy to the movies, bring him back here

and don't let him go home.

I'll take care of the rest.

We've got our money, let's just back off.

Listen to me.

You asked me to steal for you and I did.

You owe me.

Those cards are our passport to security.

We can sell them all across the country,

no questions asked.

You got it?

Okay.

[♪♪]

Darling, you've already beat me 30 times.

Tsk.

And besides, we absolutely must go upstairs and get dressed.

Ah, you're right.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Mr. Hart?

Yes.

If you ever wanna see Jess again,

you better do exactly what I say.

Where is he?

Jonathan...

Someone's got Jess. They've kidnapped him.

[GASPS]

Where is his aunt?

I wouldn't worry about his aunt.

I understand you're in

a high-stakes jackpot game tonight.

You now... have a partner.

A partner?

Me.

You'll be given a time and a place

to drop off all the cards you win.

You'll have till sunup to score.

No harm will come to the boy if you cooperate.

And remember, you'll be watched.

So no cops.

And, Mr. Hart... we do wanna see

your old schoolyard form.

Look, whoever you are...

there's no guarantee I'll win the cards.

Then I can't guarantee you'll ever see Jess again.

Good luck, champ.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Yeah?

Ebbets Field.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

You did show up after all.

Well... I don't expect you to last here very long.

Huh. Come. I'll introduce you

to Mr. Brooklyn.

[♪♪]

Mr. Brooklyn... the Harts. Well...

How do you do? How are you, Mr. Hart?

My wife, Jennifer. How do you do?

Mrs. Hart. Hey, your cap.

That's an original Brooklyn Dodgers cap.

That is, before the Brooklyn Dodgers moved to Los Angeles.

Moved, Mr. Hart?

The Dodgers never left Brooklyn.

My mistake.

Mm.

Well... [UNDOES BRIEFCASE SNAPS]

Is that to your satisfaction?

Mr. Hart... let's flip cards.

This way, please.

Excuse me.

Uh... I'll be even.

Once, twice... three, shoot.

Odd. I win.

You go first. Hm.

Off the wall?

You do know how

to flip off the wall, don't you, Mr. Hart?

I've flipped off the wall before.

Jonathan.

Hmm.

Now you put a card against the wall.

It touches my card, you win.

If I touch your card, I win.

We'll continue until the pot is taken.

[♪♪]

BROOKLYN: I win.

[APPLAUSE]

Losers... go first, if I remember.

It's beginning to come back to me.

I won.

[APPLAUSE] Pick it up, this one.

[CHUCKLES]

BROOKLYN: I won. Pick it up.

[APPLAUSE]

I won.

Pick it up.

[GASPS] [APPLAUSE]

I won. Pick it up. [APPLAUSE]

I won. Pick it up.

Uh, darling, will you get me some more cards?

All right.

BROOKLYN: I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

I won. Pick it up.

[CLOCK CHIMING]

Hey, keep a couple of cards.

Don't make me clean you out.

Pick those up for me.

I won.

[APPLAUSE, CLOCK CHIMING]

[♪♪]

I won.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

I won.

JONATHAN: I won.

I won.

I won.

I won.

I won. I won.

A stake.

He's very good.

Darling... Hm.

Mm. Wake up. [GRUNTS]

Come on.

[SIGHS] Are we cleaned out?

We cleaned him out.

Oh... Jonathan.

[CHUCKLES]

Would you like me to take it to your car?

Yes, please. Oh.

[♪♪] [GRUNTS]

You okay, sweetheart?

Yeah.

We'll, uh, use the service elevator, it's faster.

[YAWNS] Fine. We're in a hurry.

And we're tired.

It's on the left. Mm.

[SIGHS]

Uh, this isn't the service elevator.

Considered the cards delivered on schedule, Mr. Hart.

Where is he?

Get in.

You've already got the ransom. Where is he?

He's not far. Get in.

[♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

JENNIFER: Jonathan!

Jonathan, are you all right?

Are you all right?

[GASPS]

We got a little problem.

How we gonna find Jess?

He said he couldn't be far.

Maybe he's got a room key on him.

Yes, but they're not just gonna let you in the room.

Got it. 724.

Well, this seems to be the only uniform

that'll get you in and out of anywhere around here.

[♪♪]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

No, this is Rex Stewart's room.

It's all right.

What did you find out?

The room is registered in the name of Rex Stewart.

Be careful.

[♪♪]

Who is it?

JONATHAN: It's Rex.

All right, Mr. Hart, I figure both of us

could get off one shot.

Sweet Aunt Dorothy.

Rex and I had a rendezvous,

so I knew it wasn't him at the door.

Where is he?

He's with security. Real security.

Is he all right?

He's just sleeping.

Walk over there and put the gun down.

Here are your cards.

Jess, wake up.

Uncle Jonathan.

It's all right, Jess.

Just do what she says.

Go over there and pick up the suitcase

and come over here by me.

You've got your cards. Why don't you leave him here?

Uh-uh.

He's gonna go with me until I get out of the hotel.

I assume security's involved the police by now.

Gonna head toward the elevators.

[GUNSHOT]

Hold it!

Come here, Jess.

Mrs. Hart and I planned a little rendezvous of our own.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Right, Valerie. You're welcome.

Bye-bye.

Well... a dealer made Valerie

a substantial offer on those baseball cards,

and she accepted. Oh, terrific.

Yeah.

Should we have a drink?

Absolutely.

Selling those baseball cards

is definitely something to celebrate.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, I had a collection of cards just like that

when I was a kid growing up.

You did? Mm-hm.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, then I fell in love with this girl, Cynthia Derefinko.

Oh. Then what happened?

Well... she thought it was a little immature for me

to be collecting baseball cards, so I threw them all out.

Oh.

I think I hate Cynthia Derefinko.

Well, was she at least attractive?

Not as pretty as Mickey Mantle.

Oh. Well, don't think of it

that way, darling.

Don't think of it as if you've lost an investment,

think of it as if she gave you a lot of

wonderful high school memories.

What are those?

Well, you know, holding hands, necking in the movies.

Oh, she wouldn't let me neck with her in the movies.

She wouldn't? No. She said nice girls don't do that.

Oh.

So now I don't have any memories.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]