Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,680
You are standing
in what is soon to be my cellar door.
2
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,800
What do you think?
No way!
3
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,640
Mm-hm.
That's, like, the dream, right?
4
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,720
To have your own cellar door
and your own vineyard?
5
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,360
Yeah, or a gamble.
6
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,120
Still, must be nice, you know,
being your own boss bitch.
7
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,520
Well, it's either that
or be someone else's bitch.
8
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,360
After the fires and the
trade sanctions almost wiped me out,
9
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,720
I had to get creative
or sell it to one of the big guys.
10
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,240
I went with creative.
11
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,120
So, I'm going to suck
these tourists in,
12
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,600
get them so shitfaced
they can't drive home,
13
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,680
then offer them an eco-yurt
and breakfast
14
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,080
for 1,000 bucks a night.
15
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,720
Yes, genius!
Oh, we'll see.
16
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,440
Oh, speaking of shitface,
I am looking for Easton.
17
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,480
Yeah, he ran away
after last night's insanity,
18
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,040
and now we have this, like,
fancy-shmancy fundraiser thing…
19
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,760
What happened last night?
20
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,320
Oh, you know, just Grandma June
randomly returning
21
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,600
back from the dead.
22
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,920
No biggie.
23
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,680
You haven't seen him, have you?
24
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,960
No, I can't say I have.
Right.
25
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,560
Well, hopefully he's just passed out
in a ditch somewhere.
26
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,520
If you see him,
will you kick him my way?
27
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,040
Oh, it'd be my pleasure.
Cool.
28
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,520
Don't you have somewhere
you're meant to be?
29
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,200
Yeah, right here.
30
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,160
I'm not going anywhere.
31
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,120
You invited me into your chamber.
32
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,640
Even sent me pics, remember?
33
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,600
Yeah, listen about that -
34
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,040
a bit weird, don't you think?
35
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,320
Texting me your eggplant right
after your long lost mother turns up?
36
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:36,920
What? How did you find out about…?
37
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,440
Diana was here looking for you.
38
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,680
Look, my mother may be alive,
39
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,120
but she's still very much dead
in my eyes.
40
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,480
The woman hadn't even heard of me.
41
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,240
I don't want to talk about it.
Good.
42
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,720
I'm glad you've worked
through your mummy issues.
43
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,800
Anyway, up you get.
I've got work to do.
44
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,040
I'll help.
45
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,240
No, you've got your fundraiser.
46
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,640
You may come back
when you actually want to be here,
47
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,520
not because you're avoiding
the other crazy witches in your life.
48
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,560
So you want me to come back?
49
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,600
I want you to change the sheets.
50
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,320
What are you doing?
I really need to pee.
51
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,760
Well, go to the toilet.
52
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,440
I'm waiting for June to leave.
53
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,680
She scares me.
54
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,760
Last night, she tried
to touch my toosh.
55
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,120
Brett, you can't hide in here
forever.
56
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,400
You'll damage your bladder.
57
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,840
You mean she's staying longer?
How much longer?
58
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,680
I've got maybe another 20, tops.
59
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,880
I don't know. Maybe I'll learn
something about her life.
60
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,000
Or mine.
61
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,440
It's really weird
having someone sleep in our bed.
62
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,520
I hope she sleeps on your side.
63
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,520
On my side
I've got my belly indentation.
64
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:48,800
My belly, my side.
65
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,960
Where are you going?
I have to go to the toilet.
66
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,160
Well…
67
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,640
I don't know how Easton sleeps
on that thing.
68
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,600
Dunno, he can have it.
I want our bedroom back.
69
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:02,240
There's a little trickle.
A little trick…
70
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,960
Shit.
71
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,640
Maybe the fundraiser isn't today.
72
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,840
Hey.
Good, you're here.
73
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,800
Tickets to lunch have
almost sold out.
74
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,880
Just a quick question -
where the shit is everything?
75
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,720
Well, how do you mean?
Well, table settings?
76
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,000
Waitstaff? Ingredients?
77
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,560
When Chef Zhao runs the fundraiser,
he supplies everything himself.
78
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,520
Oh, how lovely of Chef Zhao
to provide his own stuff
79
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,840
to the fundraisers that he organises.
80
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,840
Look, if part of my community service
is to save your leaky roof,
81
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,560
then you need
to buy the ingredients.
82
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,920
It sort of defeats the purpose
to raise money if we're spending it.
83
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,880
He said it was better
if you organised it.
84
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,280
I figured it was a chef thing.
He said he'd told you.
85
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,920
Well, he didn't.
And it's not a chef thing.
86
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,320
It's a prick thing.
87
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,040
I am so sorry
that I have I roped you in
88
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,280
to yet another Westian disaster.
89
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,600
Easton, there'll probably be
people you know in attendance.
90
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,280
Like who?
91
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,720
Ben said he's got
industry folk coming.
92
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,360
Judge fella from that cooking show.
93
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:12,080
Your family does seem to generate
catastrophe at an exceptional rate.
94
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,080
Lucky I love you.
95
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,440
Diana, you're coming with me.
Ben Zhao has stitched us up.
96
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,400
Shall I, er, leave you to it?
97
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,640
No, you're maitre d'.
98
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,680
You make this shithole look
like one of the pretentious parties
99
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,040
you'd go to.
100
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,480
What the hell are you doing
down there, you nutjob?
101
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,960
I could've cracked
my fucking head open.
102
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,760
Easton.
What?
103
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,600
Sorry, mate,
I didn't realise you were…
104
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,680
..were…
105
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,560
German?
What?
106
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,600
No.
107
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,160
Are you?
108
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,280
No.
109
00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,800
What are we cooking today?
110
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,760
So far, the only thing this
tosspot's cooked up is an evil plan.
111
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,240
Wanna join?
Suppose it's for a good cause.
112
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,960
I might just go and clean up.
113
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,200
Well, just make it quick, yeah?
114
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,000
Fucking fundraiser.
115
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,600
She's moved in.
116
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,280
She has not moved in.
117
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,720
Then what do you call all of this?
118
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,760
'Cause it sure looks like a case
of the old moving-in to Brett.
119
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,800
Does Brett remember when we went
to Canberra for an overnight trip
120
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,080
and Denise packed
three large suitcases?
121
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,560
Yes. That was ridiculous.
122
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,880
Well, maybe ridiculous is genetic.
123
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,680
What is that?
124
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,080
Where did we go?
125
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,840
She chucked us
on the floor for that thing?
126
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,800
Now do you believe me?
She probably just felt left out.
127
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,760
But this stays here.
128
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,040
I'll tell her.
129
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:51,880
Aww.
130
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,040
We haven't aged a day since then.
131
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,040
Yeah, it was only last year.
132
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,200
Easton, mate.
133
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,760
I should've recognised
the violent assault on my door.
134
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,560
You need to give me…
135
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,040
..us some food.
136
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,920
Is that your way of asking
to make a booking?
137
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,040
Screw me over for sure,
138
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,080
but can you really screw over
fine folks like Terry?
139
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,560
Hey, Terry.
Hi, Ben.
140
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,760
I'm always happy
to give Terry a feed. He knows that.
141
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,240
Look, you set me up
for a charity event
142
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,400
without any ingredients.
143
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,280
Easton, the chef usually donates
the resources.
144
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,560
Oh, I totally forgot.
You don't have a restaurant.
145
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,520
Or any staff or produce
or…anything.
146
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,080
Oh, no.
Thanks for the recap.
147
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,640
Now fix this.
Just give me some food, at least.
148
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,040
Ah, you see, I would,
149
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,520
but we usually only carry
enough ingredients
150
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:55,880
to get us through service.
151
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,640
Look, the least you could do is…
152
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,800
..ditch your TV mates.
153
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,080
Oh, dude, it will be so much worse
if I call them now
154
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,960
and say don't come.
155
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,480
It'll be fine.
156
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,720
Just consider it a challenge,
like one of those cooking shows.
157
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,520
You know, if people still wanted
to see you on TV.
158
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,240
Which…they don't.
159
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,800
What's wrong with you?
160
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,880
You want to see
people like Terry starve?
161
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,480
They've got problems and…and shit.
162
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,960
Terry?
163
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,360
Sorry to come barging in.
164
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,000
So, Harry said
the food here was amaze.
165
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,280
Yeah, Harry, um…
166
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,120
..seems rich.
167
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,360
Yeah, he's got
full aristocrat vibes.
168
00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,360
It's kinda hot.
169
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:03,920
Actually, last night,
I sorta told him that I loved him.
170
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,560
But now I'm a bit worried
171
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,320
that I only said that
to end a fight.
172
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,040
Classic Diana.
173
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,720
There you are. Where is he?
174
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,320
It's a bloody goldmine in here.
175
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,720
What the…?
176
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,000
Is that ginger?
177
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,880
Yeah.
178
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,760
Do not tell Ben we were in his bin.
179
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,080
Do what you want.
180
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,200
He chucks anything
if it's a day old.
181
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,680
Wow. So much for zero waste, Ben.
182
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,600
Yeah, well, at least he's loyal
to me and Kwame.
183
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,760
You know, sticks by us.
184
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,920
Doesn't call me a bitch
and then not talk to me for a year.
185
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,840
Loyal but wasteful.
186
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,080
Still good.
187
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,080
Expires on the 4th.
That was yesterday.
188
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,240
"Best before", not "Expires on".
189
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,000
There's a difference.
190
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,800
See? Nothing wrong with it.
191
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,480
The problem's in here.
192
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,160
Oh, that's where most
of Easton's problems are.
193
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,840
I hate to be Mr Obvious,
194
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,440
but we're gonna need more than this
to conjure an actual meal.
195
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,160
Ask your boyfriend
for his credit card.
196
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,320
What? No, it's not mine.
197
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,440
Got any money?
Not for you.
198
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,520
We don't need money.
199
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,120
Wait.
Can I help you with that?
200
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,000
Oh, no it's fine. It's light.
201
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,920
What is it?
It's an autoharp.
202
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,320
Completely self-taught.
203
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,360
And, so…
204
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,520
..how long
are you planning on staying?
205
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,440
I'm not saying
you have to leave immediately.
206
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,480
Just roughly?
Oh, it depends really.
207
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,640
Should this live
in the living room or my room?
208
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,840
Your room?
209
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,400
Oh, just the room
I'm most comfortable in.
210
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,800
I suppose I could try the spare room
once Diana goes.
211
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,480
Look, June,
I know you regret leaving
212
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,320
and you want to make up
for lost time, which is OK,
213
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,560
but we should
probably all discuss it.
214
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,600
No, I don't regret anything.
215
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,360
I've had wonderful adventures.
216
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,480
It's just time I settled down
for my remaining years.
217
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,360
I think the living room.
Wait.
218
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,160
Why don't I take it for you?
You really should get going.
219
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,360
Going? Where?
220
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,160
Well, to Easton
and Diana's fundraiser.
221
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,880
Oh, I don't think
they need me there.
222
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,320
Of course they do.
223
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,920
It's actually in your honour,
so you must go.
224
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,400
In my honour?
225
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,320
Oh, well…
226
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,320
I do have a dress
I've been wanting to wear,
227
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,200
just waiting for the right occasion.
228
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,680
Where is it?
229
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,840
Guest of honour!
230
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,360
This gives a whole new meaning
to self-checkout, huh?
231
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,840
Why the hell would a supermarket
throw out anchovies?
232
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,480
More gold.
233
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,880
Keep an eye out for truffles.
234
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,440
Yeah, I love that you guys have
won the supermarket sweep
235
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,600
and everything, but I'm gonna need
more than a tub of yoghurt
236
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,880
to do dessert.
237
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,760
There's some basics
back at the kitchen - biscuits, jam.
238
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,320
I think they're gonna be expecting
a little more than biscuits and jam.
239
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,760
I'd be pretty happy with that.
240
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,640
First thing I remember eating was
biscuits with jam and custard.
241
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,720
Still one of my favourites.
242
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,720
What's one of the first things
you remember eating, Unkie Eastie?
243
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,360
Something shit.
244
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,160
Maybe I could do,
like, a yoghurt-based creme brulee.
245
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,080
No, no, no,
we've got to impress these arseholes.
246
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,480
Do…
247
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:34,640
..Diana things.
248
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,440
Can't 'Diana things'
just mean being good at my job?
249
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,360
What happened to the girl
who had the entire food world
250
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,200
literally eating
out of her panty pantry?
251
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,040
Hey, can we keep it down?
252
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,080
I've had the police called on me
for this.
253
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,840
What? Stealing rubbish?
Yeah.
254
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,960
Well, that's ridonk.
255
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,240
Can't believe
how soft London's made you.
256
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,120
London hardened me up.
257
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,080
Did I tell you about the time
I had to sleep under a bridge?
258
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,880
Sleep under a bridge for a night.
259
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,480
Yeah.
Yeah, you did.
260
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,080
Jeez, mate. How did you cope?
261
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,160
I had thermals and a chocolate bar
and…
262
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,040
Yeah, right. Sorry.
263
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,160
Shit, someone's coming.
264
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,320
Get down. Down!
265
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,080
No-one's coming.
266
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,240
Oooh-la-la.
267
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,480
So schmancy!
268
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,040
How did you get all this?
269
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,040
I worked my magic card trick.
270
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,840
The trick - hire help.
271
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,640
What the hell's she doing here?
272
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,880
Oh, no idea.
273
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,720
Just get rid of the rubbish.
Yep.
274
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,880
Before anyone sees it.
275
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,080
Surprise. Guess who turned up.
276
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,640
Surprises are meant to be fun,
and this isn't your seat.
277
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,320
But this is the head of the table.
278
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,520
Easton. Man of the hour!
279
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,000
Thought we'd pop around early
and see how things are going.
280
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,880
Matt, you know Easton, yeah?
281
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,000
Chef West.
282
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,640
The last time I met you
283
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,840
I think I called you
a 'gelded former prodigy'
284
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,160
and you called me
a 'turgid little wiener' in riposte.
285
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,680
Ah, Preston.
286
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,680
I've always appreciated
a man self-deprecating enough
287
00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,680
to wear a cravat.
288
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,400
Are you going to introduce
the guest of honour to your friends?
289
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,920
To whom do we owe the pleasure?
290
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,160
I'm Easton's mother, June.
291
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,720
Aren't you dead?
Minor misunderstanding.
292
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,120
Maybe you should sit down this side.
This is for the VIPs.
293
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,040
This place is very fancy.
294
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,960
Your cooking must be incredible.
295
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,120
Just behave yourself, OK?
296
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,280
Gentlemen.
297
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,840
Fragile men, all of you.
298
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,760
Jesus.
299
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,160
It's like looking into the pantry
of a serial killer.
300
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,760
Maybe I should just roll out
the wheelie bin
301
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,440
and get them all to eat from that.
302
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,560
Most people don't even know
you can find good food in a bin.
303
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,480
You had no clue
until about five minutes ago.
304
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:54,000
There's no shame in it.
Yeah, I'm not so sure about that.
305
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,960
If you're serving deconstructed
dirt crumbs on a berry froth,
306
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,080
I swear to God…
307
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:02,040
No, I wasn't…going to use froth,
OK?
308
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,760
I wanna do something elegant.
309
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,360
Elegant? You?
310
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,520
Why now?
311
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,560
You're not here for your elegance.
312
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,040
OK then, well, what will you be
doing to make us look so good, then,
313
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,400
Captain Cockhead?
314
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,240
He'll be turning one man's trash
into another man's…
315
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,760
Look, can you just shut your trap
for a second and let me think?!
316
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,640
I've somehow stumbled
into a culinary class
317
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,280
taught by a homeless dude
with a trash fetish,
318
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,200
and now I have to find a way
out of this literal dumpster fire.
319
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,840
No way.
320
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,720
We are not having roid-rage Easton
here today, alright?
321
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,520
This place is not
about your friggin' ego, pal.
322
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,080
If it wasn't for Terry, you'd be
serving baked beans on toast
323
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,960
and probably failing at that.
324
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,680
I thought you were trying to change.
325
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,840
See this carrot?
326
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,200
There's nothing wrong with it.
327
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,800
It's fit for a king.
328
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,720
The fact that you found it lying
amongst rubbish doesn't mean
329
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:49,840
it is rubbish.
330
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,480
Don't blame the carrot, Easton.
331
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,120
The carrot's not the problem.
332
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,320
You are.
333
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,720
Wait, so I'm not
the guest of honour?
334
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,960
But I got all dressed up.
335
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,520
You're not going to let me
upstage you that easily, are you?
336
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,320
I'm a pebble in the stream.
337
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,880
I'm a pebble in the stream.
338
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,760
Let's get on with it.
339
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,760
Grilled romaine lettuce
with anchovy-yoghurt dressing.
340
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,960
It's…a salad?
341
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,880
Sourced from?
342
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,440
Locally.
343
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:20,640
A local…
344
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,440
..lettuce patch.
345
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,880
Enjoy.
346
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,200
Cauliflower steaks
in green herb-infused oil.
347
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,880
Carrots fit for kings.
348
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,000
Gnocchi pomodoro with fresh basil.
349
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,480
The char on that cauliflower
350
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,920
and the complexity of that oil -
delicious.
351
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,280
Excuse me, everyone.
352
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,480
If I can have your attention
for just a minute.
353
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:30,280
Today we are fortunate enough
to be treated to a very special meal
354
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:35,360
cooked by none other
than the enigmatic Easton West.
355
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:39,720
I'd like to invite the man himself
to come on down and say a few words.
356
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,880
Why don't you join me, Easton?
Come on.
357
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,400
Thank you, Ben.
358
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,680
I'll make it brief.
359
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,880
It's been an honour
to cook for you fine folk.
360
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,920
And I know some of you
are harsh critics,
361
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,760
so it's nice
to get a tick of approval from…
362
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,000
Actually, I can't do this bullshit.
363
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,720
Fresh produce has always
been the key to my success.
364
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,920
But today, everything you ate…
365
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,080
Oh, God.
366
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,880
..came from the bin.
367
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,160
All of it.
368
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,680
Every ingredient that went
into that meal that you just ate
369
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,400
came from a dumpster.
370
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,280
Actually, it was several dumpsters.
371
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,080
Cafes, supermarkets, restaurants.
372
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,600
A big shout-out to Ben Zhao,
373
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,600
whose Z2 dumpster provided
such plentiful bounty.
374
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,440
I've been working in this kitchen
for a few weeks,
375
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,760
and I've served people who are
lucky to have one meal a day.
376
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,320
Yet here we are, in this industry
377
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,480
with our heads jammed
right up our own arseholes,
378
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,400
throwing out food
because it's too lumpy
379
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,440
or it's got a bruise
or it's two days too old.
380
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,680
Now, all the ingredients you ate
today might have come
381
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,160
out of the rubbish,
but they are not rubbish.
382
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,640
The problem is us.
383
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,440
You.
384
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,800
We're the rubbish.
385
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,000
Thanks for coming.
386
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,000
Er, hi.
387
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,720
So, unlike old Braveheart
over there,
388
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,760
I'm actually gonna keep this brief.
389
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:40,360
So for me, food has always been about
a story.
390
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,960
A personal story.
391
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,000
Sometimes a little too personal.
392
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,880
But today the story that you're
gonna be eating is not actually mine.
393
00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:01,600
Ah, I'm not much
of a public speaker but, g'day.
394
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,680
So I'm Terry, I help out in
the kitchen,
395
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,800
and I'm currently living at
the fixed address of on the streets.
396
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,200
So, growing up,
my family didn't have a lot of money
397
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,680
but Mum still wanted to give us
the odd treat when she could.
398
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:26,160
Usually it was slapping jam on
biscuits and dipping 'em in custard.
399
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,040
I looked forward to it so much
and it still makes me feel happy,
400
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:35,120
which I reckon is what sweets
are supposed to do, so, dig in.
401
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,960
My granddaughter, the queen
of succulent sweetness, everybody.
402
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,440
She's such a freak.
403
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,920
Thanks very much.
404
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,400
Easton, absolutely brilliant, mate.
405
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,600
You've really captured
the zeitgeist.
406
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,680
That's the wakeup call
the industry needs.
407
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:16,920
Oh, you think so?
408
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,360
Oh, look, if you've got any ideas,
409
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,400
I'm happy to put you in touch
with my producer.
410
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,520
You mean a TV thing?
411
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,680
Oh, TV, podcast, anything.
412
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,560
We could shake up this industry.
413
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,440
Be disrupters, whistleblowers.
414
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,000
It's brilliant, mate.
Well done, Easton.
415
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,200
Thanks, Matt.
416
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:39,360
You know, I see through your fake
woke bullshit, right?
417
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,000
You're not fooling anyone.
418
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,120
Hey, Di.
Hey.
419
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,680
That was so…
420
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,480
..underwhelming.
Oh, yeah, I know.
421
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,760
Yeah, I should have gone with
the finger bang buns but…
422
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,520
Well, we are in the house of God.
423
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,000
You're right. Excuse me. Sorry,
Jesus.
424
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,880
But hey, thank you, by the way,
for the berries.
425
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,160
That was BERRY nice of you.
426
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:17,800
So, Kwams, can I…
Can I just say…
427
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,440
Sorry, you go.
No, you go.
428
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,560
No, you go.
No, you go.
429
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,320
OK. Ah, yikes, awks.
Um, OK.
430
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,880
So I just really miss…
431
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,600
..Nayani.
432
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,240
And she, like, fricken hates me.
433
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,080
And I just don't know what to do
about it.
434
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,200
I think, it's gonna be fine.
435
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,480
You do?
436
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,920
Yeah.
437
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,480
You're a bloody superstar!
438
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:44,800
Wait.
439
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,160
Are you just figuring this out now?
440
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,640
No, no, I told you last night.
441
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,800
Hey, I'll see you later.
OK, yeah. Thank you.
442
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,440
Bye.
443
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,320
Really? Did you like it?
444
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,480
Yeah, of course I liked it.
445
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:56,760
Everyone did?
Everyone loved it.
446
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,360
Are you not just saying that?
447
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,800
Thanks for the day. You were…
448
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,800
The brains behind it?
No.
449
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,680
Well, yes, OK.
450
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,040
You played a part.
451
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,640
A big part in today's success.
452
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:16,960
I know.
453
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,000
And I'm…
454
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,400
..sor…sorry…
455
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,480
..for before, when I…
456
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:27,800
I was in the army, mate.
457
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,920
I've been yelled at by worse than
the likes of you.
458
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,920
Probably less afraid of being shot
in the army though.
459
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,760
It's a big deal that he liked it,
though.
460
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,880
He's like Aussie TV royalty, right?
Yeah.
461
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,480
But our TV is a bit povvo,
so it's not that big of a deal.
462
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,920
Come on.
No longer welcome here.
463
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:00,040
What the hell's all this?
464
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,440
So, how was lunch?
465
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,200
Incredible.
466
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,440
But, why are all my things…
467
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,800
We've booked you into a motel.
468
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,520
This is our home.
We will not be usurped.
469
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,320
Yeah. You usurper.
470
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,240
Mum, Brett, surely she can stay for
a little bit longer?
471
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,400
No, she wants to live here
in our house and I'm not having it.
472
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,840
Oh, I'm afraid it's not that simple.
473
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,320
No, no.
There will be no further discussion.
474
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,960
I'm sorry, but it's not really
your house, dear.
475
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,680
You're kidding.
476
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,800
June, you don't mind
if I stay here, do you?
477
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,280
Of course not.
You're all welcome.
478
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,960
Even you, Denise.
479
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,240
So whose house is it?
480
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,880
I know just the spot for this.
481
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,240
What's he… What's he laughing…
482
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,280
Captions by Red Bee Media
483
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,280
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
35690
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof