Original subtitles

(bouncy electronic music)

(drum beating)

(fire crackling)

(people chattering)

- Hello friend.

Can we offer some warm by our fire?

Or perhaps you need some food or water?

- He's gonna kill every single one of us.

- Wait a minute, I know you.

You are the famous angry chef man.

(people laughing and murmuring)

(drum beating) (hushed conversation)

(groans)

- Ah fuck, I need real booze.

You got anything else?

This tastes like it could heal wounds.

- No, just mead.

And it actually does have medicinal qualities.

Actually, medieval clerics--

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Can you just, just give you some more.

- But Wood Duck doesn't like us to be intoxicated

before the ceremony.

- (stammering) Just, just give me some more.

(sighs)

(liquid pouring)

(slurping) (loudly swallowing)

(groaning)

Oh, those poor medieval sods.

They're stuck drinking this piss.

And eating raw turnips.

Getting stabbed in the back by their families

for their crowns.

(scoffs)

Nothing much has changed that way.

Families still want to chop off your head

and put it on a spike.

And for what, eh?

Just because you want to cook good food,

the only thing you've ever been any good at.

Filthy, betrayers.

(gong sounds)

- [Wood Duck] Brothers,

(groans)

sisters, and non-binary friends.

Welcome.

(fire crackles)

This mushroom

is the evolutionary key,

that catapulted us

from ignorant ape,

to intelligent human being.

It's magic unlock art,

technology, language.

Nature provide us

with answers.

If we are ready to listen.

(gong chimes)

(liquid pours)

Are you sure you are ready for this, Mr. Chef?

- Yeah, don't be stingy Woodrow.

I'm twice the size of that little twerp

that just had his go.

- Yes, Yes.

My name is Wood Duck.

And please don't treat this lightly.

The magic provide to us with answers,

but also can put very difficult questions.

- Yeah well unless the question is what's the square root

of 5,000 fuckwits, I think I'll be all right.

- 70.71?

- Uh, 0678.

- What?

- The square root of 5,000 fuckwits.

- We're mathematicians.

- Jesus wept.

(sighs)

Yeah.

(gulping and swallowing loudly)

- Wood Duck is here for you.

If you need him, just say, Easton.

- Yeah.

(drums) (tribal shouting, chanting)

(rapid drums, bells) (shouting)

(crying) (laughing)

(drums continue)

(pained shouting)

(vomiting) (coughing)

- (screaming) Wood Duck!

Oh fuck, Duck, make it stop.

- We need to get some sugar into you.

And this will help bring you down.

- Oh, you must have a chocolate bar something.

(warping) - I don't eat refined sugar.

The spirit of the road will find us.

(gasping)

- I've forgotten how to breathe.

(footsteps) Oh, they won't stop for you,

you look like something out of a nightmare.

Hey wait, wait! (car rumbles past)

I'm Easton West, the chef!

I'm not one of them!

(Easton gasping) (car engine revving)

(car rumbling, creaking)

Are you the spirit of the road?

- No.

Aren't you that wanker chef, Easton West?

(car rumbling)

(tinny store music plays) (gulping)

- I feel worse.

- Oh, just brain freeze.

(voice warping) Go to the bathroom,

and splash warm water on your face.

That will help straighten you out.

(dreamlike rock music plays)

(reverberating rumble)

- [Man] Ah, Jimmy.

- Dad, thank God.

- Your mother doesn't wanna be a mum anymore.

- [Woman] Easton.

- No one gives a shit about your quenelles.

(disembodied laughter) (unintelligible talking)

- People are over the angry white guy shtick.

(laughter and voices continue)

- [Woman] Take your pants off, take your pants off.

(distorting) Take your pants off.

(echoing) Take your pants off.

(distorted whoosh)

- It's time you started listening to me.

- Your little family story's a fucking lie!

- Just like everything else - Just like everything else

about you. about you.

- Denise!

- Go cry in the woods and take a good hard look at yourself.

- You're fired, bitch!

(gunshot)

(screaming)

(tinny music continues) (sighs)

(crickets) (car revving and screeching)

(man in car shouts)

(car revs) (man in car laughs)

Good evening to you, too, friends.

Ah, of course.

(chuckles) I will, uh, recycle

your single use plastic bottle.

(sniffs) (exclaims)

- Any better?

- No, much, much, much worse.

- Easton, we need to go back to the camp.

There is a lot of danger in these roads tonight.

Lets go.

Your ego is stripped away.

You need to face your pain.

Confront it.

- I need water, give me some water.

- I don't have water, there is water at camp.

(grunting) (plastic bottle crumples)

- I knew it, you selfish fucker.

- I wouldn't do that.

(gasping) (urgent gulping)

(bottle clatters)

(smacks lips) (grunts)

- You're taking us the wrong way, anyway.

I think it's this way.

- No, is not that way.

Is this way.

- It's that way.

- Well, if you think is that way,

you should go that way, and not this way.

But Wood Duck will go that way.

- Oh yeah, you're more cooked than I am, anyway.

Why am I even following someone called Wood Duck?

I mean, who would call themselves that, anyway?

- Because it's my name.

- No, it's not.

It's probably something like Darryl

or Jeffery or something shit.

- Wood Duck is my name.

Is in my driver's license.

(laughs uproariously)

Oh yeah, and you?

You are really Easton West?

- Yes.

- You born Easton West?

- Yes.

(Easton laughs) - I don't think so.

- I am Easton West!

- I am Easton West, celebrity chef.

I've worked in some of the greatest kitchens in the world.

I am someone.

And who are you, you know?

Some Frodo maths nerd with a Jesus complex?

(owl hooting) Wood Duck?

Wood Duck!

(insect sounds)

Hey, Wood Duck, you're right.

I lied.

(sniffs) (sighs)

My name is Jimmy.

Jimmy West.

(breathing heavily)

- [Child] Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Jimmy, where have you been?

You've been gone ages.

I was scared.

- Getting dinner, told you I'd be back.

- What'd you get?

- Couple of rabbits, some mushrooms.

Denise, can you get some potatoes from the garden?

And a carrot or two?

- Okay.

(fire crackling) (pensive music)

(chopping)

- [Man] Curl your fingers in, so you don't cut yourself.

(chopping)

(fire popping)

(food landing in pan) (sizzling)

- Now, some of that special sauce.

(liquid sizzling)

A bit more.

Enough, that's a good boy.

Your mother would have loved this.

(pensive music) (spoons clinking)

- Don't be gone so long next time.

(chuckles)

- I won't, I promise.

- [Denise] This is really good.

(spoons clinking)

(bird song)

(boards clattering)

- Oh, it's alive.

- What happened?

- You've been talking even more shit than usual.

You back on drugs?

- No.

Well, yeah, but just the good ones.

Last night I,

(panting)

I had a vision.

- Babbling about ducks or something.

- You don't get it, no.

What mum leaving did to you, to all of us.

Denise being so angry, being so protective of Diana.

And you just bury yourself in all that junk.

- What are you on about?

- I've got to go and see Denise and Diana.

I gotta explain.

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

Last night I did something terrible.

Something, something unforgivable.

- What now?

- Oh, I took part in a drum circle.

(bouncy music)

(panting)

- One, two, three! - One, two, three!

(joyful yells)

(thud) (groans)

(door chimes)

- Hello.

Welcome to We Sell Beds.

Can I help you ladies with anything today?

- Hi Max.

Um, we were just wondering, do you sell beds?

(chuckles)

- Yes that's very funny.

Um, you just let me know if you need anything, okay?

(footsteps retreating)

- Is there anything that takes your fancy?

- Yeah, um, getting outta here.

- Diana, the sooner you can choose one,

the sooner we can leave.

- Well if you hadn't have chucked out my old one

the day after I moved out,

like a freaking psycho,

we wouldn't need to be here, would we?

(scoffs)

- You needed a new one.

And actually I think that it's time for you

to get a queen size.

- Wow, fat shamed by my own mother.

That's kind of a low blow.

- That is not what I meant, I didn't,

I was talking about your age.

- Sure, sure.

(footsteps) (store music playing)

- What do you think of this one?

- I think if I was a 19th century Parisian whore,

it would be perfect.

(giggles softly)

God, have you seen how exy it is?

- Quality beds last a long time.

- Yeah, but what if I lay on it,

and it cracks under my weight?

- Diana stop!

- Oh Denise, relax, Okay?

I don't care about my brave curves.

Just get whatever you want, I don't care.

I won't be home for that long anyway.

- But you've only just come home.

- Yeah but now I'm on the foodie radar.

So who knows what'll happen?

- Okay, I'm really confused.

I thought that last night did not go well.

- Didn't go well for Easton, but my dish was a hit.

I mean, everyone was raving about my vag.

- How's it going, guys?

Can I help you with anything?

- Hey Max, yeah, we were just talking about my vagina.

- I have a question.

Um, I was reading about those memory foam mattresses.

The ones that allow for body contouring.

(laughs)

They apparently reduce the motion transfer

for a peaceful undisturbed sleep.

Do you have any in stock?

And preferably one with the gel memory technology

that regulates body temperature.

(car engine drones)

- I might, um, ask the manager and see if that one exists.

I'll be right back.

(footsteps)

(sighs) (machine beeps)

(bed whirring and creaking)

- So what happens now, with the restaurant?

- I don't know.

He comes crawling back when he realizes

he can't do shit without me, I guess.

How is this meant to be comfortable?

- Diana, I know that you're ambitious,

but you're also young.

You should be enjoying life.

Going out, hanging with Niani.

(grunts)

- Oh yeah, I guess she's busy.

- You could start the hot buns stall again.

You both used to have so much fun doing that.

- Yeah, selling cakes out of a pub car park

isn't really the career move I was hoping for.

The aim is to kinda move up.

- No, I didn't mean it to be a career move.

I just meant it to be sort of like a part-time thing

while you were exploring other opportunities.

It's a very fickle industry, Diana.

- Mm-hmm.

- Look at your uncle, one minute you're on top

and the next you've--

- So, that's what this is all about then?

Back on the old uni train.

- Well, it's not too late for enrollment,

so you can certainly pull some strings.

- What's it going to take, mum?

- Like, I'm literally getting showered with praise.

Everybody's talking about me and you still

have no faith in me. - No, I do have faith in you.

I just don't have faith in the world being fair.

The best people aren't always the ones that get rewarded.

(footsteps)

I'm just trying to make sure that

everything is easier for you than it was for me.

- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, you have the luxury of living rent-free

and home cooked meals.

- Cause that's a reason to stick around,

your home cooking.

- I made a lot of sacrifices

so that you could have all the opportunities in the world.

- What, and that means I owe you a degree?

- I just don't want you making the same mistakes that I did.

- Me either.

Why the hell else do you think I'm using protection?

I want to make sure

that our fucked up family genes end right here.

- On second thoughts then, maybe a single bed will suffice.

- Really, that's it?

See, that's exactly the problem.

Don't bother having a discussion.

Why bother talking about anything?

- What if you turn 40 and this baking thing hasn't paid off?

- Well, I guess I'll just sell my $10,000 bed

to make ends meet.

Also baking things?

This is not just, I am trying to tell a story.

Which is something that nobody in this family

seems to understand.

And I'm trying to embrace my experiences

and actually use them for something.

And if you'd bothered to show up last night

instead of driving off like some selfish fucking asshole

then maybe you'd know that. - Oh, I'm selfish?

- I was 11 years old when Easton left me

so he could go off and cook.

- And is that my fault?

I just don't understand why you're punishing me for that.

- How would you feel if I recreated your childhood home?

Diana, remember that one?

Where your father punched a hole in the wall,

and held me up by my throat and, and threatened to kill me.

What fun dish would you recreate using that?

Or maybe you don't remember, or you just don't care

because you're too fucking selfish.

(pillow rustling) (grunting)

(blows landing)

(grunting) - Um, 'scuse me.

Uh, no you--

- Not now, Max.

(pillows thudding) (grunting)

(heavy breathing)

Okay.

(tranquil music playing)

Think you might be too old for this?

- No.

(bed creaking)

- Hm, that is quite comfortable.

More comfortable than our old one.

- You shared bunks with Easton?

Who had the top and who had the bottom?

Wait, let me guess. whatever he wanted.

- Actually, no.

- Were you guys close?

(sighs) - Not particularly.

(music continues)

- I'm just like him.

- Who?

Oh no, Diana, you're not.

- I am, I am.

I'm an asshole, I'm self-centered.

I was a dick to you, I was a dick to Niani.

I was a dick to frickin' Max.

I'm selfish, and I swear like a mother flunker.

- Honey.

Honey, believe me, you are nothing like him.

The fact that you actually give a damn

makes you not like him.

Remember that day that you rang me up from school

sobbing because you'd realized that it was my birthday

and you'd forgotten?

- Mm-hmm.

And you wouldn't stop crying, apologizing.

And I kept on saying it doesn't matter.

And then when I got home, you'd made me dinner.

You were only 13.

- And it wasn't a good dinner.

- 30 years, Diana.

Not one birthday card, not one apology.

You are nothing like him.

- Okay, look, sorry.

You have to get off the bed now.

Seriously, you can't both be up there.

Actually, neither of you should be up there.

(stammering) It's a child's bunk

and you're both adults, so.

(chuckles) (bed creaks)

- I'd make a violent crumble.

The dish based on the memory of asshole dad.

I'd make a wall of violet crumble

and then the diners would have to punch it and eat it.

and I'd call it violent crumble.

- Please get off the fucking bed!

Thank you.

(laughing)

(vacuum running)

- Can you take your bags out until they arrive?

- Why?

There's plenty of room.

- They need room to assemble it.

(vacuum turns off)

(exclaims)

- I wish we could get rid of that thing

before the new one arrives.

- One, two, three! - One, two, three!

(whooping and cheering)

(mattress thuds) (man groans)

(man grunting)

(mattress thumps)

(continues grunting)

- What's with the mattress?

- [Denise] What's with the blood?

- Oh, it's not mine.

- Shame.

- I went hunting.

It's been quite the night.

- Oh, has it?

That's nice, mine wasn't great.

- Look, I know you're both angry with me,

and you have every right to be.

If you want to unleash, feel free to hit me.

Just to get it off your chest.

(birds chirping) (Easton panting)

(blow lands) (groans)

- Would you like a stick, or are you gonna use your hand?

(stammering) - Oh I'm okay, thank you.

- I see it all now.

I get it.

I've been a, I've been a royal dick to,

to both of you.

- Mm.

- But, last night, I was thinking.

I've got something to show you.

You just have to come to the restaurant and see,

and then if you want, you can leave.

And if you feel like you wanna hit me again,

you can do that too.

Just come.

Please.

(pensive music) (birds chirping)

(fire crackling)

- [Easton] Come on, come on.

You keep an eye on things?

- What the hell?

(chuckles) How did you come up with this?

- He didn't, I did.

- Well, it was a team effort.

- Oh, you're on his team now, are you dad?

Well, he's still a dick head.

- Here, take this.

- Thanks. - [Man] That'll put hairs

on your chest, that will.

- Ah, hairy tits.

Boys'll go nuts, cheers.

(chokes) Oh my God.

What is it?

- He won't tell me what he brews it with.

- Wild garlic.

You're not the only culinary genius around here, prick.

- Well, no wonder it goes so well in the stew.

Here, sit.

(sighs)

Remember this, Denise?

- Mm.

- Wild rabbit.

We lived on this when we were kids.

I had a vision last night while I was,

this dish came back to me.

I'm gonna serve it tonight, straight from the fire pit.

That's what I should have been doing all along.

All of it, you know, the mechanics workshop

the fire pit, the house.

Having Jim here.

- Oh, don't bring me into it.

- The fire pit'll be the centerpiece

and we'll, we'll bring the guests here before the sitting.

Tonight we'll have wild rabbit.

Tomorrow night, Jim can get a roo

or whatever the fuck he can shoot without getting arrested.

It'll be more than just a meal.

It'll be an experience.

- Wow, really got hit hard

with the original thinking stick last night, didn't you?

- I know it was your idea, but I'm just riffing on it.

(stammering) Just this will be

truly unique.

- And what about everything else?

- What do you mean?

- What, are you serious?

- Yeah, I know we both got a little bit heated last night.

Things were said that shouldn't be said, but--

- So your great revelation was about cooking rabbit stew?

(laughs humorlessly) What a joke.

You know, I actually thought maybe

you brought me here to apologize.

(Easton stammers)

- Just working up to it.

- [Diana] This isn't even about you

completely disregarding everything that I'm about,

but it's just your inability to recognize

what a toxic shit bird you actually are.

- Yeah, I can see that now.

But, but I think we can, we can do this together.

(Jim groaning) You and me.

Just tell me what I need to do to change.

- I don't think you can change,

that's the freaking problem. - Dad?

(Jim groans) (body thudding)

Dad?

(birds calling)

- [Easton] Dad?

(bluesy rock music)