Original subtitles

[pulsing tones]

[birds calling]

- Easton, what are- - Shh!

[jazzy music]

Okay, go!

Just look out for the farmer!

- Ooh!

Why can't we just buy milk at the servo?

It's, like, a buck a liter

and nowhere near as much shit on the floor.

- It's opening night.

We need the freshest milk we can source.

This dessert is all about terroir.

- Ter-wha?

- Terroir.

It's French.

It means the taste of the soil,

the land the produce is grown on.

- Right, that sounds unhygienic.

What exactly is this dessert?

[whisk rasping]

[flames hissing]

[torch hissing]

Creme brulee?

- I told you, it was on the menu

when I won my first Michelin star.

- You don't think it needs- - No.

I thought we established you would follow my lead.

Just make 20 more as perfect as that one

and I will be very happy.

- Well, as long as you're happy.

- That's the 11th person I've turned away for tonight.

We should have set up more tables.

- The harder it is to get in, the more buzz we get.

Then we add the tables and raise the prices.

Just leave the business to me

and you keep answering the telephones.

We need a proper maitre d'.

- We just stole two dollars worth of milk from a cow.

We can't afford a proper maitre d'.

- How'd you get Zhao's guy, then?

- I give him my body

for whatever demented pleasures he so desires.

- 80 minutes at 86 degrees.

Don't take your eyes off it.

- Oui, Chef.

- I want you all to taste La Moulineux Merlot.

You need to understand how it's gonna

bring the whole menu together.

- Creme brulee?

And I thought you said we were going to be the next Noma.

- Yes, we will.

He's just going for a more classical, refined thing

and once we're established,

I'll be able to bring in my own stuff.

It's good.

He's, He knows what he's doing.

- What is that smell?

You don't smell that?

- Ironic.

- What?

- You walked through that bullshit to make this bullshit.

[chuckling]

Hey, maybe it'll pair with his bullshit French wine.

[bottles rattling]

[upbeat jazzy music]

- What the actual fuck?

[man laughing]

- Last time we had a legit meeting with Margot,

you just left me there.

Now you want me to come and taste her wines,

even though I know nothing about wine.

Makes no sense.

- You learn on the job.

I got where I did working under great chefs.

- I was under a great chef last week,

but we definitely weren't working!

You said, and I quote,

"Margot Duplass is an hysterical witch

whose natural wines taste like hangover piss."

- Well, don't mention that when you ask for the loan.

- What loan?

- Your alcoholic grandfather stole and drank

my only case of Merlot.

The only cash we have is in the ashtray of that ute

and we're on the only vineyard

owned by someone we sort of know.

Do the maths.

Diana would love to apologize

for missing our meeting the other day.

- Oh, she's got nothing to apologize for.

[faint beeping]

- I'll be back.

Gotta take this call.

Press, all over me.

- Don't know how he's making calls.

We have zero reception up here.

- Come, taste.

- Oh, no.

I, I actually know nothing about wine.

The last stuff I had was straight out of a goon bag

and it did not end well.

- Ah, our industry is full of wankers.

They want you to think you know nothing

so they can flog their over-processed,

over-marketed garbage.

And I'm the crazy one,

because I want to make wines naturally.

What do you taste?

- I, I don't know.

Grapes.

- What about at the back?

Blackcurrant note, maybe?

- Actually, yeah.

Now that you've said it, I can I can taste that.

- Wine should tell a story

about the place that it's made and the people that make it.

That's what gives it its meaning.

- Yeah.

I've actually started doing that with my latest dishes.

- Oh, I tasted your moonshine cake!

- Oh! - It was fantastic.

- Yeah, thank you.

Actually, he didn't tell me that.

- [chuckling] Of course he didn't.

- What actually happened the last time he came up here?

- I had him for lunch.

- That's fruity.

Is, is it plums?

- See, very good!

You've got an excellent palate.

You should trust it.

- Actually Easton sort of brought me here

to ask you something.

- Oh, did he, now? - Yeah.

It's a little embarrassing.

[glass clinking]

Adelaide Hills pinot.

Soft and plummy with a good tannic structure.

- You can pay me tonight if you make any money.

- That won't be a problem.

We're fully booked.

- Margot's kindly accepted our invitation for dinner.

- Oh, really, great.

Well, it's the least we could do

to make up for Diana's no-show.

Thanks for the wine.

- Well, it's no over-priced Merlot,

but hopefully this hysterical witch's brew

will be more than a match for your culinary genius.

See you both tonight.

[playful jazzy music]

- I like her.

I'm sorry for calling you a cockwomble.

- [Denise] What is that word?

- I don't know.

I heard it once and I thought it sounded funny.

- [Denise] Oh, right.

- Hey, I got you a VIP table.

- Diana! - Really?

- You should see what we've done with the place, Mum.

It looks freaking amazing.

- [Easton] Diana!

- I've gotta go, I'll see you tonight.

- How's the mix?

- [Diana] Yeah, almost ready, Chef.

- Okay, let's stay focused.

We'll get onto the scallop entree next.

[gunfire booming]

Christ almighty!

What the hell's he doing?

- [Diana] Maybe he's feeling a bit left out.

- Go grab that gun off him.

- [Kwame] Chef, Chef!

- You said you knew how to use a sous vide, you idiot!

- I do!

I set it to 86 degrees, like you said.

- It's the dodgy machine you got off Gumtree.

- All my venison is fucking fucked!

- I'll go to the butcher's.

They're still open.

- We had to order it.

We bought all they had.

- Why don't we just get Pop to get us a roo?

I mean, you can cook it on the fire pit.

It'll be more like the restaurant I imagined anyway.

It'll be totes terroir.

- This is fine dining, not a shitty sausage sizzle!

This menu won me a Michelin star!

Have you ever won a star?

- No.

- [Easton] Have you ever won anything?

- CWA's Best Cake at the Uraidla Fair last year.

- Exactly, so just keep your shit ideas to yourself

and just do what you're told like a good little girl.

Fuck!

- The supplier's in Hahndorf, Vasiliadi's Venison.

I doubt they sell directly from the farm, though.

- Okay, well, why didn't you say so in the first place?

Okay, while I'm gone, you take over the mise en place.

You, fix the sous vide machine or find a work-around

and you, just pull your finger out of your arse

and stop looking so fucking miserable!

[door banging]

- I'm not putting up with him.

Arni, most geniuses act like wankers, okay?

Mozart wanker.

Steve Jobs wanker.

The Dalai Lama?

Probably a total wanker!

- [Arni] Um, seriously?

What's gotten into you lately?

- What do you mean?

- Your priorities are warped.

You abandon me and our business,

talk me into working here for free,

then try and justify this guy

treating us both like absolute crap?

- Are you kidding?

This is our big break!

- He's using us as cheap labor!

You're basically his apprentice.

- We were selling cakes in a car park

before I set all this up.

We are literally on the verge

of everything that we've dreamed about.

- Maybe, but I don't want to do it like this

and not with him.

- Bitch, do not abandon me right now.

- Bitch, stop being his bitch.

- After all I've done for you?

I literally carried Hot Buns for years,

'cause trust me, babe, no-one was coming

for your shitty sago pudding pots, okay?

I've let you follow me around and copy me since year seven

and now you're just gonna leave me at my hour of need?

You're such a fucking selfish...

- Go on.

- Bitch!

- Nice.

You and him deserve one another.

[door banging] - What did Diana say?

- [Denise] She's got us a VIP table.

- Ooh!

- [Denise] She sounded so grown-up.

- Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Why?

- Oh, just checking.

Oh!

I like the outfit.

- Well, the press will be there.

I can't have them thinking that every West

is a classless scumbag.

- Yeah, right.

Oh, I wonder what's on the menu.

I'm starving! - Mmm.

- You're drinking.

- Relax, Brett.

It's Saturday.

- But you don't drink.

- I don't not drink.

I'm just not a chronic alcoholic like the rest of my family.

[discordant music] [wine splashing]

[knocking on door]

- [Easton] Hi.

- Oh, my God!

You're, um.

Oh, Fritzen- - Easton West, yes.

[hysterical laughter]

- Oh, what, is this a TV thing?

What hey, Mama!

- No, no, no, no, is the boss here?

- I'm the boss, you vlaka.

Eh?

Oh, wow.

[speaking in foreign language]

Like, I'm a fan, but my sister is obsessed.

You have to say hello to her.

- Oh, lovely.

Uh, actually, the reason I'm here is I really need to-

- Hey, Mama [speaking in foreign language]

[woman speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

- Hey, Maureen.

Guess who's in the living room right now.

[laughing] [Maureen gasps]

- Oh, my God!

Are we on TV?

- I need some venison for my restaurant.

- Oh, no, sorry.

We don't have any of that.

- What?

- [laughing] I'm jokin', mate!

We're a frickin' venison farm!

Here, hold that and I'll radio the boys in cold store.

- This is unbelievable.

I've got all your books,

even that crap Christmas one you did with Delia.

Close your eyes.

I'm getting out.

No peeking!

- [Woman] Hey, how much do you want?

- Four kilos of filet.

[woman speaking in foreign language]

Oh, my God.

You're even better looking in real life!

[screaming]

[woman laughing]

[chuckling]

- Let me take a picture.

Say cheese!

- Cheese!

Nice!

- Thicken, you stupid piece of fricking shit!

Frickin' boring creme brulee!

[frustrated grunting]

- The salt from your sweat or tears made it split.

Maybe you should take a break.

I'll re-do it for you.

- I've been a royal dick, haven't I?

- We need to push on.

We have diners coming

who've paid a stupid amount for the privilege.

We owe them a good dessert.

- I don't want to give them just a good dessert.

I want to give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert.

- Okay.

Well, then give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert, then!

- Okay!

Then I will give them a frickin' mind-blowing dessert, then.

- Good.

- You didn't answer my question about me being a royal dick.

- Yes.

You were being a royal dick.

- Thank you.

[vocalizing]

- You, uh you saved me.

This is truly a debt I can never repay.

Hang on, what do you mean, you can never repay?

- Well, I can pay, just that we deal in cash,

so I, I can only pay after service.

[woman speaking in foreign language]

- Well, we'll have a VIP table, for starters, for tonight.

And then you and I can talk about a repayment plan.

- I'm sorry, we're fully booked.

- Well, our meat's fully booked, mate.

- Listen.

We'll make a trade, hmm?

We have goods that can make you happy

and I'm sure that if you use your imagination,

you can think of something that'll make my sister happy.

- We need an extra table for two VIPs, ASAP.

Where's what's-her-face?

- [Diana] She quit.

- Quit?

- And we're at capacity.

Easton, I finished dessert,

but I've gotta sort of tell you-

- Well, that makes you our new maitre d'.

Go and find a solution.

Now!

You, update.

- Chef, I've rigged the water bath

so we can still sous vide,

I've prepped all the veg and the stock is done.

Service in 60.

- Good.

[venison popping] [upbeat jazzy music]

- Come on in, welcome to June.

Have a sit.

Hi, Margot, hey, Ben.

Welcome!

Good to see you. - Oh wow.

I love the garage.

I've never seen anything like it.

- Well, if the food's as cool as the fit-out,

this should be quite an experience.

- Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

So, have a look around.

We'll be calling service soon.

If you see a guy with a shotgun, just ignore him.

That's just my pop.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

Hi, welcome.

- Did she say shotgun?

- I hope so.

- Holy shit!

Frangipani Fanny is here!

She's a massive food blogger from Sydney.

- Well, you have my permission to kick her in the fanny

if she asks for a freebie.

- And Margot's here.

With Ben Zhao.

- Together? - Mm-hm.

[gunfire booming]

Oh, Pop's entertaining the guests.

- [Easton] Service!

Let's go.

- Who brings a roadie in a wine glass?

- Mmm!

Straight ahead.

Oh, no, turn right.

- Yeah, I know!

Oh, look what they've done to the place!

Incredible.

- Whoa, look!

It's incredible!

Our happy childhood home!

- Look, we don't have to go in.

- Mmm.

- Babe?

- You get yourself ready for a an entree of escargot

on my mother's empty grave, Bretty.

- [Brett] Mm-hm.

- Yeah, a glass of wine with my absent, alcoholic father.

- You've just got a bit a little bit there,

just on your lipstick-

Some lipstick, on your lips [chuckling].

You, what are you- - Jimmy-fucking-West!

- Whoa, whoa I'm coming for you!

You cowardly piece of shit! - Babe, no, no.

- Let Check Brett-

- Why why don't we just go home?

Why don't we just go home?

- Give me back my my fucking daughter!

Right fucking now!

- Oh!

Baby.

Baby. - Mmm!

Let's let Diana have her night, eh?

Killing your brother's only a short-term solution.

You've gotta learn to play the long game, love.

- Chef West's scallops with sage cream.

- Coquilles Saint Jacques?

Wow.

I thought you were doing a Nordic new-wave thing.

This is more like French old-wave.

- Chef won his Michelin star with tonight's menu,

which is a celebration of his food journey.

He asks that you please enjoy.

- It looks elegant.

- Yeah, but what is it saying?

[venison sizzling]

- The critics are gonna crucify us for this old-school food

and my mum and dad didn't turn up.

- I didn't tell Ben I'm working here.

I think we'll be crucified together.

- Hey, love turds.

Stop fondling each other.

Mains service.

Let's go.

- [Both] Yes, Chef.

[diner laughing]

- Service!

Go.

Are the desserts ready?

- Yes, Chef.

So, listen, I've gotta tell you something-

- Three minutes and bring them out after my speech.

- You're doing a speech without me?

[diners applauding]

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you and thank you for coming

to this very special evening, the opening night of June.

It's been 30 years since I left home a young man

with a dream of becoming one of the world's great chefs

and through hard work and sacrifice,

I am fortunate to say that I made that dream a reality.

Tonight's menu represents a lifetime

dedicated to excellence.

It is the story of my career,

a showcase of European fine dining

that I'm thrilled to be able to bring back home

and share with Australian diners for the very first time.

And the new chapter of my food journey

has been co-written by my niece, Diana,

an incredibly talented pastry chef

who I have taken under my wing.

Thank you again.

It's good to be home.

Diana will now serve her dessert.

Bon appetit.

[diners applauding]

- That speech made his venison seem interesting.

- Mmm.

- What is that?

- Hi, everyone.

My name is Diana West and I'm the pastry chef here tonight.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks for me.

I opened a restaurant, with Unkie Eastie over there,

and I also lost my virginity.

[diners applauding and cheering]

Thank you.

Tonight's dessert is the story of my deflowering

and it is called Pop My Cherry Ripe.

So, we have for you a chocolate vagina.

Inside is a creme brulee base made with milk

stolen from the cows at the dairy next door.

We have roasted coconut,

a cherry gel made from local produce

and orgasmo popping candy.

[diners nervously chuckling]

Thank you, I hope you enjoy.

[diners applauding]

- After you. - Did you get a spoon?

Well, how are you meant to eat it?

- [Man] I don't think we're supposed to have spoons.

[vocalizing]

[laughing] - No way!

- Congratulations, Chef.

Amazing.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, dude, you need to copyright Diana's sweet,

like, ASAP.

It's it's art, it's political, it's so now, you know?

So, saw Kwame working for you.

- He and Diana are a thing.

- Right!

Well, so he inspired Diana's dessert, then.

[laughing] My man!

I suppose you owe tonight's success to him, then.

And considering I taught him everything he knows.

[chuckling] I'm just messing with you, bro.

I'll go say hi to him now.

Congrats again.

- He's always very pleased with himself, isn't he?

- Well, he is very clever.

Well, I had a wonderful time.

- And the food?

- I liked it.

I was very pleased that you let Diana spread her wings.

- Hmm.

- Voila.

My new dessert wine.

It's a little experimental.

I'm interested in your and Diana's thoughts.

- We should have some now.

- [Ben] Margot!

- Tomorrow, you- - Tomorrow's good also.

- Could send over that money you owe me.

- Oh, yeah, yes, right, well.

Actually, save a trip.

Why don't I just pay you now?

- Good-oh.

[playful music] [vocalizing]

- Hey!

- Hey.

What's up?

- He was so angry.

- Easton? - Ben.

About me working here.

He said he'd supported me and I'd betrayed him.

[Diana sighing]

- I'm sorry, people suck.

I mean, my parents didn't even show up.

- I told him I was just helping out my girlfriend,

but he didn't care.

I'm sorry, Di.

I don't think I can work here again.

- Really?

I'm your girlfriend?

- Yeah.

I thought we.

Is that okay?

Well, I should go.

- Okay.

See ya boyfriend.

[Diana giggling]

- People raved to me, Easton!

They fucking loved it!

Frangipani Fanny said that she's never

had a dining experience like this one!

- If I'd have pulled that shit when I was apprenticing-

- What?

I'm not your apprentice, Easton.

I'm your business partner.

- A kitchen is a team.

Running off and showboating like that?

It upset the whole balance of my menu.

The diners didn't get to understand my story.

It's un-fucking-professional!

- Okay.

Your menu was a bedtime story, dude.

I mean, I've been trying to tell you

there's been a revolution in food

while you've had your head up your arse.

- Oh, and you think you're gonna win a star

by putting your snatch on a plate?

It's tacky.

- Oh! [laughing]

You use me as a cover story for your pathetic

has-been comeback and it's my vagina that's tacky?

Okay.

Dude, I couldn't give a shit about stars, all right?

I want to make food that no-one's ever seen before,

food that actually means something

and it's pretty fucking crystal clear from your menu

that you have no new ideas yourself, so moving forward,

maybe you should start listening to me.

- Well, that's not gonna be necessary,

because you and I are not gonna be moving forward.

Pack up your knives and get out of my fucking kitchen.

You're fired!

And please do not be here when I get back!

- What?

You you can't fire me, you egomaniacal knob!

You're fucking fired!

Get the fuck out of my kitchen, bitch!

- Natural wines, experimental bloody piss-water.

Stupid, ballsy motherfucker.

[gunfire booming] Fuck!

- Oh!

You'll not waste that, boy!

- I could have killed you, you bloody idiot!

- Kill me, then!

- [Easton] Put it back, you silly sod!

- Never!

Sometimes in life, a man has to do what's right.

Bullying people, throwing your weight around,

trying to destroy beautiful young things

just starting out in life!

- Put the bottle back, or I will-

- Oh, go on, you great gobshite!

Do it!

Eh?

Huh?

Aw, haw, haw.

I didn't think so.

Oh, go and cry in the woods

and take a good, hard look at yourself, you little pissant!

[pensive music]

[mellow jazzy music]

- I can explain!

- [Easton] No!