All language subtitles for The Pink Panther 2 (2009).en-en

I now bring to your attention...

one of the most stunning treasures
in the British Library's entire collection.

The Magna Carta.

And now, over here...

perhaps the most cherished
ancient artifact in the Western world.

The Shroud of Turin.

The Imperial Sword!

00:02:07,801
I am honored, but not surprised.

This is the culmination of my career.

The moment
that I've been waiting for all my life.

- No, no, no.
- Well, not all my life, perhaps...

- No no.
- No. Nevertheless...

They want Clouseau, since he is
considered the top detective in the world.

We have been asked if Clouseau
is available to lead the Dream Team.

- Clouseau?
- Yes, yes.

- Is there something wrong?
- No, no, not at all.

Would you mind if I use your bathroom
just for a moment?

- Certainly.
- Thank you.

Clouseau.

00:03:53,936
Nine centimeters into
the seamy black underbelly of crime.

- You must take the ticket. Take it.
- Never!

You must take the ticket.

You're not wearing your seatbelt.

You are going to have to go
to traffic school.

00:08:20,345
Sir, Inspector Clouseau is here to see you.

Send him in.

- Clouseau?
- I have to appoint him to the Dream Team.

- Clouseau?
- Don't ask, don't...

Good afternoon, Chief Inspector.
I'm here with my report.

00:08:58,582
Over the last six weeks,
I've given out almost four parking tickets.

One at the musée, overtime.

And one, you'll recall, to you,
in violation of the bent-license-plate law.

- Yes, I recall.
- It's all there in the report.

Fascinating.
Well, I shall waste no time in reading it.

00:09:41,818
Chief Inspector, I don't even know
what you are talking about.

Good work, Clouseau.

Now, to business. I have been
instructed to reassign you...

Clouseau?

Clouseau.

We were being recorded.

00:10:44,456
- I said "hamburger".
- No, you said "hamburger".

00:11:41,235
The Tornado is at large, and you want me
to protect the Pink Panther.

- No.
- No?

It is my job to protect the Pink Panther.

You've merely been reassigned
to the Dream Team.

That is quite an honor...

- But I cannot accept.
- What?

00:12:30,852
Yes, Inspector Dreyfus is sending me
on a very dangerous mission.

- For how long? When will you return?
- I will return when the criminal is caught.

It could be a month, it could be a year.
You understand, Nicole.

- Yes, yes, of course.
- Of course, we will have to stay apart.

00:13:29,485
So, even though, technically,
we are on duty...

do you think it would be all right
to share a bottle of wine?

I think it would be all right.

Then I will select the wine.
It is one of my specialties.

I would like to select my own wine.

00:15:29,168
We must never forget to not remember it.

And if we do remember it,
we must immediately forget it.

Now, let's have
a professional hug goodbye.

I'll be right there.
I'll see you in several months.

- No problem.
- And I do hope your hearing improves.

00:16:30,960
- Here. Yes.
- There?

- Yes.
- And then you turn here.

- Of course, yes.
- All right.

- And this turns it.
- Yeah.

Okay, here we go.

- Exactly.
- Yes?

- This case is very strange.
- How so, Inspector?

00:17:10,205
London, the Magna Carta.
Italy, the sacred Shroud.

The Imperial Sword. Why now?
Why all of a sudden? Why? Why?

You need to calm down.

Hey!

What's the matter, Ponton?
You seem a little depressed today.

- Is it your wife again?
- Yes.

00:18:47,000
This is a bad idea.

00:19:17,926
France is in shock.

The international Dream Team
of detectives will begin...

I'm standing outside the Grand Palais
where the Pink Panther has been stolen.

Why are they cheering?
This is a national tragedy.

We live in a media age.
You must learn to adapt.

00:20:31,365
- Yes. I am Nicole.
- Yes, so nice to see you again.

You, too, Inspector.

Well, enough of this foreplay.
Where are the other detectives?

Yes, they're waiting inside.

I hope no one has
tampered with the crime scene.

00:21:49,019
so feel free to use her
in any way you wish.

And now there is a crime scene waiting.

Excuse me. "The crime scene."

- That is not Italian, and I do
speak English. - Really? Prove it.

Gentlemen, we first have to determine
how the crime was committed.

00:22:36,757
- How did you...
- Your pupils are noticeably dilated.

And will you be moving out
of the Hotel Montmartre?

They are doing construction at night
around the Montmartre...

so as not to disturb daytime traffic.

From your puffy eyes,
I deduce you spent a sleepless night.

Speaking of traffic,
are you enjoying your Smart car?

Your trousers are wrinkled
behind the knees.

And how do you think your favorite
football team, Arsenal, will do this year?

That matchbox is from
the only bar in Paris...

that shows English football telecasts.

00:23:25,606
Stop the insanity and look at this.

Il Tornado is not as careful as he thinks.

Fingerprint. With this small piece of glass,
the case is practically solved.

This one has a fingerprint.

This one has a fingerprint, too.

This one has a fingerprint.

00:25:31,369
Tornado, I'm coming to get you.
There's your one.

I was able to discover this Tornado
hacked the security system...

from a remote location and turned off
all the alarms and surveillance scanners.

- Can you trace the source?
- Yes, but it will take time.

- You are new here?
- Yes, hello. Mrs. Berenger.

- I know who you are, Inspector.
- Do you?

Due to the media frenzy
surrounding this case...

I've been assigned to instruct employees
on political and social correctness.

It's always nice
to have a very sexy woman...

clomping around the building
in high heels.

00:28:29,945
- Drab?
- And she is disgusting.

- Disgusting?
- Yeah, she's drab and disgusting.

I think you are wrong, Clouseau.

You see, you and I,
we are men of the world, no?

We've had all these
sexy and glamorous women, right?

Yes, in fact, I believe
you've made a conquest of your own...

in Miss Solandres.

Clouseau, you are a lover.

And Nicole is a woman for a lifetime,
a woman to have the babies with.

- To have the babies?
- Yes, lots and lots of the babies.

All day long the babies.

All day long the babies?

Ponton.

00:29:43,993
- But why?
- Because it is a stereotype.

Inspector, are you prejudiced
against Asians?

Well, of course not.
Except when they drive.

Have you ever seen them drive?

They can hardly see over
the steering wheel.

- Inspector.
- Well, I'm sorry, Mrs. Berenger.

I suppose I'm a bit of a dumb blonde
about this.

00:30:31,374
- You did it again!
- No, I didn't.

- Yes, you did.
- I did not.

- Yes, you did.
- Oh, my God, look!

Oh, my God...

Exactly?

I had it out with my wife.

I told her that she must not
question me about my work...

00:31:31,859
They are my sons, Louis and Antoine.
They took my side of the argument.

And this is Jacques.

They named him after you.
They idolize you.

Uncle Jacques, what's that?

That is an award given to me
by the President of France.

Go ahead.

00:32:29,250
Wow!

- You like karate?
- We love it.

Remember, boys.

The secret to a successful karate
attack is the element of surprise.

- Good one.
- Thank you.

To find the Tornado,
we must consider his motives.

00:33:11,461
No. These items are too famous to be sold.

Only the Pink Panther can be cut up
and sold as smaller gems.

I suspect that's what he wants.

I have something.

00:34:17,492
that Avellaneda's not just the Tornado's
fence, but the Tornado himself.

He is the right age.

Do we have a sample of his DNA?

Not yet, but we should be in Rome
in one hour.

Where is our pilot?

I don't trust any other pilot
for my plane but myself.

00:35:17,824
00:35:51,585
00:36:10,146
The very word
that he used to describe you.

- He called me drab?
- And disgusting.

Disgusting?

Thank you.

Hey Ponton.
Tell me more about Inspector Clouseau.

He's a brilliant man, unorthodox, oblique.

But I can tell you
with absolute confidence...

he's the man who will solve this case.

Ponton-san, you are crazy.

If Clouseau solves this case,
I am perfectly willing to run around...

like a bare-bummed idiot
wearing nothing but a tutu.

Well, let's talk about Avellaneda.

- What are his proclivities?
- He's an art connoisseur...

but because of his
questionable dealings...

he was thrown out of Spain
and must live here.

You see?
He has squandered his reputation...

and he is forced to live in the woods
like an animal...

with the shame of being a criminal.

If there is one absolute truth in
this world, it is that crime does not pay.

You say the bullet hole is
behind his right shoulder?

Yes.

Then all we have to do is figure out a way
to get him to remove his shirt.

I was half expecting you.

00:38:34,255
Nicole.

While the Dream Team plays its
little games, I am going to snoop around.

Who cares?

So, gentlemen and ladies,
please make yourselves at home.

Now, how can I help you?

Mr. Avellaneda,
where were you last Friday evening?

00:39:30,108
My security system.

Answer this question.

In the past, you admitted to dealings
with II Tornado?

Yes, but that was 10 years ago.

Besides, I never saw his face.

How did you conduct these transactions
if you never saw his face?

00:40:21,295
No, I've told you. I am not the Tornado.

How did you pay him?

With deposits into Swiss bank accounts.

Numbered. Untraceable.

I understand.

Look, I know my answers
are less than satisfactory.

00:41:04,735
That I must strip down
and remove my clothes...

in the sanctity of my own home...

before a group of people I've only
just met just to prove my innocence?

Well, it wouldn't hurt.

Fine. Let's get it over with, then.

I believe it was the right shoulder.

00:42:40,092
Yes. Of course you have.

Clouseau Inspector,
I even checked all the house's computers.

None of them are used
to hack into the museum.

Still...

Clouseau, can't you see
what's plain in front of you?

Your unrelenting stubbornness
is maddening.

And I'm telling you I sense
the presence of the Tornado in that house.

They don't know anything.

That blasted bullet wound. It's my mark.

One day they'll find me.

You're in no danger, Laurence.

This is all very strange.

I even know one of them.

00:44:11,389
"shred a simple reminder
of a dinner appointment?"

Good work, Ponton.

- So what should we do?
- Our jobs, Ponton.

We investigate, see who he's eating with.
Perhaps the Tornado.

You go on ahead.

00:44:50,690
Why is he saying that?

No, he is saying, "My wife will not be back
in Italy until Sunday".

- No wonder he shredded the message.
- What is all this?

Before they opened tonight, I snuck in...

found out which table he'd reserved,
and planted a bug.

But how did you find out which table
they would be seated at?

You rubbed your fingers together.

That is surprising.

What is she doing here with him?

00:46:24,952
It's very nice.