All language subtitles for Masterclass David Sedaris Teaches Storytelling and Humor - 05.Connecting to Your Reader

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You have to connect
with people on some level,

or they're probably not going
to give you more than one

shot, right?

They're probably not going
to read more than one thing

that you wrote if they
can't connect with you.

I know that there are certain
contemporary writers that I

don't feel that the people
they're writing about

are real to me.

They just seem like
writing exercises to me,

so I have a hard time
connecting with their work.

I think it's a bit
different now as well,

when I was a young man growing
up in Raleigh, North Carolina,

there were no books about
gay men in the library.

I mean, there might have
been in the psychiatry--

you know, in the deviant
psychiatry section,

there might have been a
couple of case studies.

But there weren't novels.

There weren't short story
collections, nothing.

So I had to learn to relate
to people just because they

were human.

I would read a novel or
a short story collection,

and I could relate to it
because this person was

living in the world, and
I was living in the world.

And I feel like now, people
want more of a mirror, right?

They want to see
themselves in the book

that they're reading, right?

So if I'm going
to read a book, I

need it to be about
a gay man who's

62 who lives in
England in the country,

but has a place in London.

And I'd have to just read
my own books, I think,

if that was going
to be the case.

But it's interesting to read
something and then ask yourself

why you relate to it, right?

What is it about this
that touches me or that--

that has meaning to me?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I mean, I'm constantly thinking,
what can I cut out here?

What could go?

And sometimes, you wind up--

this will often happen.

You'll have a laugh line.

And then you'll say,
well, I'm keeping this

because it's a laugh.

But then what we wind up
doing is constructing an essay

around a laugh,
and it never works.

It's better just to let
go of that laugh or use it

for something else later.

But I've made that
mistake before,

just trying to salvage a laugh,
and then just heaping all

this crap on either end of it.

And then by the time
you get to the laugh,

nobody's even going to
laugh, because they've just

waded through all this
crap to get to it,

and they've already left you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I think it's important to
be honest in your reactions

to things.

I think more people
can relate to you.

For example, I had an
editor at "The New Yorker"

who announced to me one day that
he'd been working in magazine

for a long time, and
he's a wonderful writer

of his own, Jeffrey Frank.

He's a novelist,
and he's written

several non-fiction books.

And he said, I'm
leaving, and I'm really

looking forward to it.

This is going to give me more
time to concentrate on my work,

and so it's something
I've been looking forward

to for a long time.

And I said, that's great.

But my reaction
was, what about me?

Like, I need you.

Basically, my reaction was--

my private reaction
was, I need you

to stay in this job that
stifles you for my own benefit.

And it's embarrassing
to admit, you know,

that you would be so
selfish in that moment.

But I didn't say it,
of course, but I mean,

that's what I was thinking.

And it is the sort of thing you
don't really want to admit to.

If your reaction to something
is selfish, just admit it.

Again, it's just going to make
you more relatable, I think.

Because it's everybody's dark
secret is that they're selfish.

Or if they're not selfish,
they need to tell you

about how unselfish--

how unselfish they are,
which means that they're

as selfish as everyone else.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I say this reluctantly.

And I know that many of you
watching are going to say,

OK, I don't need to
see this anymore.

I don't like dogs, never did.

If you gave me a dog,
I would get rid of it.

Within hours, I
would get rid of it.

And, like, I wouldn't put an ad
in the paper to get rid of it.

I would have it put to
sleep, because putting

the ad in the paper would
be too much work, right?

Now, if I were to say
that about children,

that I can't bear children,
then my many people would think,

well I can forgive him that.

But man, you cross a dog person,
and you are just off their list

forever.

And it's something I think
about when I've been on stage

or if I'm writing something.

You know, if you say,
I don't like dogs,

people just cross
you off their list,

except for people who
also don't like dogs.

My friend Dawn,
she tied with me.

She, no, does not care
about dogs one bit.

So do you hide that?

And do you say,
well, I don't want--

if people knew I
didn't like dogs,

they probably wouldn't
want to read my book.

Or do you-- should you just
aren't be honest about it

and then think, well, maybe
they can connect with me

on this other level, right?

I tend to go with that,
you know, and just--

I mean, I probably
wouldn't write a whole book

about how much I dislike
dogs, but I'm not

afraid to mention it
every now and then.

So how do you draw
the line between being

honest when you know that it
will alienate certain people?

That's beyond your control.

The thing about writing as
opposed to speaking is writing

gives you the illusion
that you're in control.

And it's just that.

It's just an illusion.

You can-- you can
write something,

and you can explain why, let's
say, you don't like dogs.

Let's say you a bit in the face
by a dog when you were young,

or you've just been hurt
one time too many by pets

dying, or whatever.

And you think, well,
I've explained myself,

and now the reader will--

will cut me some slack,
but not necessarily.

And it's important to let go
of that illusion of control,

because you don't want your
writing to come across as--

as defensive, and you
don't want your writing

to come off as
over-explaining your position.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I always feel like if
you're writing humor,

then you need to be
harder on yourself

than you are on everyone else.

And that will always--

people will tend to
forgive you if you're

making fun of
yourself, if you're

saying the bad
thing about yourself

before they even get
a chance to say it.

But I don't mean doing
that in a false way,

but being genuine about it.

I wrote a book a number of
years ago called "Squirrel Seeks

Chipmunk," and it
was a fictional book,

and it was sort of
updated fables, I suppose.

And it was the same whenever
I wrote any fiction.

I would look inside myself
at a horrible characteristic

that I had, and that's what I
would write about, whether--

you know, in that case, it
was like a bear would have

my horrible characteristics.

And in the case of fiction,
it would just be, you know,

a man or a woman.

But I would need look
no further than myself

for the worst in human behavior.

And I am a goldmine that way.

If I'm looking for pettiness,
selfishness, small-mindedness.

If you're writing a fictional
story, or writing a play,

writing a fable, take that.

Take a step back, look at it,
and realize how funny it is.

You can't write humor and not
be able to laugh at yourself.

It's not fair.

It's like, you know, when people
say, oh, I've written a book.

I've written my life story,
but I don't read any books.

I don't like reading books.

It's not fair to ask someone to
read your book when you're not

going to read
anybody else's book.

And it's not fair to
laugh at everyone else

and not laugh at yourself.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm one of those
writers who I love

to read what I've written
in front of an audience.

I've always admired
people who will say, no,

I don't go on a book tour.

No, I don't want to
be in front of people.

I've always felt like they're
somehow purer than I am.

But at my age, I'll
just accept who I am.

But I love to be in
front of an audience

and I like to make
an audience laugh.

It means a lot to me.

And people often say to me, well
gosh, you're going to Alabama?

No one in Alabama is going to
laugh at what you have to say.

But I find that audiences
in America are pretty--

the audience in
Alabama is not terribly

different from the
audience in Seattle.

It's not terribly
different from--

I mean, they-- they
dress differently,

and they have different accents.

But it's the same sort of person
who comes to hear me read.

So I feel like I know
who the audience is.

And were I to get on stage and--

were I to get up on stage
and say Donald Trump--

is Donald Trump an
asshole, or what?

The audience would
applaud, but I didn't

say anything clever, right?

And I didn't say--

that feels like pandering
to me, right, just

to get a reaction
from an audience.

And I know that the
audience, sometimes you

want to be in an audience,
and you want to look around,

and you want to say, wow,
everybody voted the way I did,

or everybody hates
the same person I do.

But I don't want to get
into that with an audience.

Now, if you were to go to
Republican National Convention,

and get on stage, and
say, Donald Trump's

an asshole, that's
interesting, right?

But not in front of generally
speaking the audience that

I'm in.

I don't want that laugh.

Because those
laughs, they don't--

I don't know.

They don't feel, they
don't taste right to me.

And quite often, I hear
from people that say,

I went to your show, and
you told a story about a man

putting a coat
hanger up his ass,

and I thought you
were better than that.

And A, I don't know how it
gets any better than that.

And I don't see the
value in a clean show.

I mean, a lot of the times
when people write and complain,

I just think, you know, if
you're not interested in--

OK, the man shoved
a dildo up his ass,

and then he couldn't
get it out, and then

he went after it with
a coat hanger, OK?

If you're not
interested in that,

there's nothing
I can do for you.