All language subtitles for Fortysomething ep 5

Fortysomething - 1x05
Transcript by wizyw (wizyw422@gmail.com)

This is Paul Slippery.

He thinks his wife
is having an affair.

Would you blame her?

- Peter, hi, it's me.
- Hello!

- Can you talk?
- Of course.

Are you sure he
doesn't suspect, darling?

He's amazingly gullible.

I always thought if I wanted
to have an affair I'd have carte blanche.

Who else are you trying
to get your hands on?

That would be telling!
Are we still all right to meet?

Can't wait!

There's a lot I want to
talk to you about, I'll see you in an hour.

Au revoir.

Good Lord! I was asleep.

Well, that's what you do
between midnight and 7:45.

So, where are you off to today?

Oh, you know, work, work.
Same as usual.

Of course! Of course,
you're going to work.

Where else would you be going?

I have to go in today, too.

It's Pilfrey's first day back
after his enforced absence.

Can I have a lift?

Sorry, darling, I'm not going
to the office this morning.

That's funny.
I thought you were.

Going to work, I mean.

No, no, I've got a meeting
in another part of town.

Another part of town,
of course, stupid of me.

What's happening this morning?
Does he suspect anything?

God, I hope not!

Now, remember, Rory:

- New man.
- New man.

- Consciousness raising.
- Consciousness raising.

Oh, God, it's such a strain.

It's just so hard
having to live in a lie,

- I just...
- Hi.

Oh, hello.

So, where's Daniel?

Daniel had an urgent meeting.

Daniel's no longer a proper
member of this family in my opinion.

He's completely pissed Laura off.

Where are the girls?
I haven't seen them about.

That's cause we're having
a "cooling off" period.

They're coming over later today
just to talk about things.

Relationships are difficult things.

People go through changes.

They feel... differently
about each other.

It's not easy.

Sometimes it can be very,
very painful.

What's that all about?

He thinks something's up,
he feels insecure.

But the only thing that is up
is that we all think

that he's a wonderful
husband and father,

and that we love him dearly.

Yes, I certainly think
he's a wonderful man.

And I'm very glad that later on
today the two of us, father and son,

are hosting a men's
consciousness raising group.

That's right! Right here, where you live
as men to discuss your problems as men!

Not that he has any
problems as a man,

or as a doctor, either.

- Hello.
- Hi, I was just...

...checking this paintwork.
Need to do something about that paintwork.

So where's Edwin? Don't tell me
he's actually gone to school.

No, I said he could stay here today,
he's in bed with Woj and Snozzer.

Woj and Snozzer?

What is this, a knocking shop?

I draw the line at my youngest son
having threesomes when he should be

boning up on the life and times
of Pliny the Younger.

We weren't having a threesome, dad.

Don't even know what they are,
do we, Woj?

Even if we knew what they were,
we weren't be getting involved in one, Mr Slippery.

You can catch terrible diseases,
especially of Snozzer.

It's true.

We were just sitting around
and chatting and stuff.

Yeah, you'd have to pay me money
to have sex with your son, Mr Slippery.

Yeah? How much
to take him to school?

So, off you go to your meeting
in another part of London?

Yes, off I go.

What other part of London is it?

- Turnham Green.
- Turnham Green!

Cause I've got a housecall
in Turnham Green.

- Have you? Who with?
- A patient.

So, you know, I could
come with you.

Oh, no, that wouldn't work
because my meeting in Turnham Green

is after my first meeting
which is... in another part of town.

It's funny, Estelle,

that Rory and Daniel and Lucy
and Laura are going through this crisis

in terms of commitment,

but you and me are still...

What?

You and me.

Aren't we?

We were the last time I looked.

Hello, Surinder.

You're back!

Yes, I am. I don't know for
how long, but I'm back.

I fought with my demons,
and I think I may have won.

- You're early, too.
- I am.

I've had therapy.

Much, much, much therapy.
I've grown, I've changed,

I've developed. Have you read
the Little Book of Growth and Change?

No.

No. All right, it's in Chinese.

I've taken a long, hard,
good and intensive look at myself,

and I didn't like what I saw.
I saw...

I saw a twisted, twisted,
twisted individual.

No change there, then.

Say again?

Joke.

Yes, good. Joke.

Good joke.

Thanks for that, Surinder.

So what's up with your dad?

My mum's organising some kind of
surprise reunion for him.

She thinks it'd cheer him up.

He didn't look too cheerful.

Wait till you see his face
when he sees the video.

Making a compilation.

Are you and Edwin going out, Woj?

Ours is a doomed love, Snozzer.

The other end of town, eh?

Surinder.

The woman I should've married.

This is unexpected.
Should I have married you?

- Yes, you definitely should have!
- Who are you calling?

Paul? Where are you?

Surinder, my life is
in a total mess.

- Hello.
- Are you okay?

Are you here for the meeting?

- Which meeting is that?
- The AA meeting.

- No, I'm RAC.
- Paul?

Alcoholics Anonymous.

Alcoholics Anonymous?

What am I doing outside an
Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?

Surinder, did I hear Paul say
he was an alcoholic?

- I'm not an alcoholic!
- Nobody said you were.

Although I think perhaps
my wife may be one.

Why is that?

Look, Surinder, I... why are you
asking me these questions?

Why are you interfering
with my life in the first place?

Because you're blocking
my driveway.

Fine, I'm blocking the driveway,
all right, I'll move the car,

and get out of your life.

Surinder, just give
me a moment.

Paul! Paul, I'm here.
We want to help you, Paul.

Pilfrey? Is that you?

I wasn't aware I was having
a conversation with you!

Paul! Paul, speak to me!

Could you possibly move your car?
My wife wants to go out.

There is no way I can drive
this car! They might see me!

I think we both know why
you can't drive this car.

Yes. Yes, you're
absolutely right.

I'm completely drunk.
I'm absolutely blotto.

I'm usually totally pissed
at 9:30 in the morning.

Would you like me
to drive the car for you?

Yes. Yes, I would
like that very much.

You carry on.

You still there Surinder?

Yes, we are here.
I mean I'm here, I am.

Right, I'll call you back.

But he does suspect something, Peter,
he's behaving really oddly.

I sort of thought he's been
following me or something.

Look, if you're worried about him finding out,
you'd better get hold of good old Steve.

He's made an appointment to
see Paul this morning.

About his ears.

He'd probably blurt out
the whole thing!

We can't have that,
you've got to call him!

Ear problem,
can't use his mobile.

I'll have to go to the surgery.

You are wonderful.

You swine!

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I've been better
but I'm fine.

It doesn't help
being drunk perhaps.

No, I'm not drunk.
I'm completely sober.

Right.

Can I have my car keys?

Don't worry.

You'll get your keys.

Can I have them now?

Friends don't let friends drive.

What?

Paul!

Hi.

Peter!

You two know each other?

Yes, we do. We do.

Although I haven't seen
Peter for years.

How are you?

A lot has happened in my life, Paul.

Yeah, I bet.

Paul's thinking of
coming to the meeting.

Am I?

I think that's why
he found himself here.

I see.

- No, all I want is my car keys!
- You don't want to come in with us?

Isn't there anything you
want to get off your chest?

I don't see there's any point in my
attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Why is that, Paul?

Because I'm not an alcoholic.

- Right.
- Sure.

Sometimes Paul it's really hard
to face up to things in yourself.

We rather lost touch when I was
going through what I went through.

Sometimes it was like being
in a room, you know,

in a big, dark room.

Sometimes things went very fast,

sometimes they flattened
out like a plate.

You're an alcoholic.

I am.

And he's an alcoholic.

And you both think that I...?

Oh, why not.

- Say it!
- Say it.

I am an alcoholic.

I'm glad you had the courage
to say that, Paul.

Hi, Lisa, is she in?

Okay.

Well, what's made you late today?
Did Paul lost his trousers?

I'm really sorry, Gwendolen,
but I'm trying to organise this

reunion thing for him
because he's...

Well, he's falling to bits really
and I don't know what to do to help him and...

I've got to go to the surgery.

You'll be cutting up
his food for him next.

Look, we have a presentation here
at 3:00. You're leading it.

I know. I'll be here at 3:00.

My name is Peter...

and I'm an alcoholic.

- Hello, Peter.
- Hi, Peter.

Fair enough.

I'm not really functioning
very well at the moment.

I'm feeling very...

flat.

Some weeks ago I met
a woman at a bar, and...

went home with her.
She was wearing a...

a thong.

Indeed.

Later another woman arrived and...

She seemed to be a friend
of this woman's and...

She had...

She had this...

hose.

And we...

you know...

made love.

Which made me feel...

confused.

Later on a man arrived
in a cloak.

And he had a whip.

Which made me feel
even more confused, I suppose.

And there was someone now...
with another hose.

It was a bigger hose
than the first hose.

Although that was still in...
in... in evidence.

Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Where's Dan?
- Urgent meeting, running late.

He's acting so weird lately.

What kind of weird?

Hi. Urgent meeting,
running late.

Text message from Sweden.

What up?

Okay, uhm... Laura and I
have been talking...

- And?
- You say it, Laura.

We don't think it's going anywhere.

- Rory, Lucy's very fond of you...
- She can't speak for herself?

...but it doesn't seem right.

And Dan... you and me...

Well, it all seems a
horrible mess somehow.

I'm sorry, it's over.

For all of us.

Do you two always do
everything together?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

So that's it? You're not gonna talk
about it, you're just gonna walk out like that?

- That's it?
- I'm afraid we are.

It's all my fault, really.

I'm sorry.

Thanks a lot.

This is my fault?

I don't know.

There are girls on every
corner, my brother.

Coming to your neck of
the woods today.

Why?

There's money in poverty.

Paul, would you like to share?

Okay. Okay.

My name is Paul...

and I'm not an alcoholic.

I mean, I plan on being one,
in the very near future.

I don't know if it qualifies me
to be at this meeting,

but it does seem to be the only way
out of the situation that I'm in.

I plan on drinking a hell
of a lot very soon.

My wife...

Can't believe I'm telling you this...

But the fact is my wife is...

also not an alcoholic.

As far as I can tell.

You just never know how to
spot one these days, do you?

And they're everywhere really...

Pretending to drink mineral water,

and then they're off around the back
having a crafty belt for the old vodka.

I don't need to tell you lot
that obviously, cause...

Presumably you're no strangers
to the well-camouflaged hip flask...

The large Macallans on your
cornflakes in the morning.

Not that there's anything
so terribly wrong with that.

I mean, Peter and I...

We used to knock back
a few in the old days.

We never used to make
a fuss about it then.

Although obviously now he...
goes on about it all the time.

Not that there's anything
wrong with... with... going on about it.

I mean I have been
rat-arsed in my time.

I was hammered for 3 days straight
when I found out about Sue Drake.

Sue Drake.

But it was before
I got married, obviously.

I've been happily married
now for 20 years.

And my wife has...

...has just gone back to work.

My kids are growing up
and growing away from me.

And I suppose I...

I just feel as if
I don't count anymore.

So although I'm not an alcoholic,

I am quite screwed up
enough to be one.

And you know, I feel
quite at home here.

You all seem very nice.

And I must say I was devastated
to learn that old Peter was a lush.

As I haven't seen him
for six years so...

You know...

What can I say?

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Paul.

Can I have my car keys back now?

Hi.

- Hi.
- I'm Harry.

The new Führer.

- Oh, hi.
- Sorry I haven't said hi before,

my feet haven't touched
the ground since I got here.

- Where were you before?
- Before?

Before homelessness called.

Oh, University of Ryegate, you?

I've been all over.

I was with Age Concern, trying to
drag them into the 21st century.

I kicked arse with the Samaritans.

They were phoning each other
by the time I was through.

- You're a...
- Kind of like a manager.

Gorilla manager.

Charities are not nice, my friend.

The world of philanthropy is a tough one.

I've called a big meeting this afternoon
to discuss our management structure.

Be there or be square, my friend.

We are about to modernise and it is
not a time for old fashioned sentiment.

No sleeping bag is safe.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

- Paul!
- Hi.

Pilfrey. Welcome back.

Good.

Look, Rosie...

I'm gonna be seeing a chap
called Steve Norish,

and for reasons I don't
really want to go into

it's possible that my wife may turn up
and want to see him while I'm seeing him.

- Do not let her in! Okay?
- Fair enough.

He has real pain
in his marriage.

- How'd you work that out?
- He's strained and tight!

I know the signs.

See, I'm sexually very giving.

Locked in a marriage and I realised
that's loveless in spite of Gordon and all he's done.

Bit like a carpet and
a hairbrush, if you will.

But here I am, trying to work my way back
to the hearts and minds of this practice.

- What are you on about, Pilfrey?
- Ronnie, Ronnie.

Paul is flipping, that's what
we say in therapy class.

He sees things, he's
having delusions.

Why would Estelle suddenly bust in here,
demand to see one of his patients?

Rosie, Rosie! Is Paul seeing
someone called Steve Norish?

When I get the wax out of my ear,
it's a rather peculiar colour.

And how'd you get it out?

- My fingernails.
- Yeah, me too.

Well, I can't find anything
wrong with you, I'm afraid.

Although you probably shouldn't
be drinking 29.5 pints of beer a week.

Nah.

Do you ever feel as if you're
alone in a big dark room,

with a plate?

- What?
- Nothing.

How's Estelle?

Perhaps I should be
asking you that.

Should you?

Look, Steve. We've known
each other a long time,

I don't think we have to
beat about the bush.

What I mean is I'm pretty sure
I know what's going on.

Surinder, couldn't I just pop in...
Please, Surinder!

He's going to blow the gaff on the
surprise party I've arranged for Paul!

- Oh, I'd love to come to that.
- Look, I'm sorry, Estelle,

but bursting in on a doctor
and patient is against the rule!

I came as soon as I could.

- Excuse me, do you mind?
- What's the matter?

Estelle...

Paul is an alcoholic.

He's been in denial for years,
but today he turned up at my AA meeting.

- What?
- It would explain a lot.

- Don't be absurd.
- Yes, of course.

We heard him. We heard his pain,
we heard his confusion.

We didn't reach out to him, but I think
we need to reach out to him

and ask him how he feels.

You're Peter, aren't you?

Ronnie Pilfrey.
We met in rehab.

Ronnie!

Look, Steve...

- I know about Peter Mailer.
- Peter Mailer.

Is he one of our number?

What number?

There's quite a few blokes involved.

From over the years.

- My God!
- Paul, what'd you expect?

You don't say no to Estelle.

But who are they?

Well... there's a friend
of Nobby's, Buster,

Leslie Frimm,

George Henry McAffey, obviously.

Obviously!

Cyril de Tourner,

the mate of Clive's
with the obvious rug,

Ron MacIntyre,

the Grudzinski twins.

Ted Beacham,

Jonathan Kellerman,
I suppose.

It's a ring!

Paul is many things,
he's very bad at expressing his feelings,

he gets ridiculously paranoid at times,
I know, but this...

Estelle, he came to the meeting.
He came to Alcoholics Anonymous.

Which is great!
He's getting there.

He spoke very movingly and
eloquently about his drinking problem.

He is trying to confront it
but he's not through it yet.

Not by a long chalk.

He is close to mental collapse.

I'm glad you told me this, Steve.

At least you're not
one of them.

Christ, Paul, I was one of the first!

Well, me and Jeff Shaw.

Jesus! Jeff Shaw?!

He's Edwin's godfather! And you,
supposedly, are one of my best friends!

That's the point, isn't it?

Jeff's around at your place right now,
setting things up with Edwin.

And you come to me?

Talking about earwax?!

Well, you can tell Mr Shaw

that I'm on my way
over there right now

and he'd better be wearing
protective clothing when I arrive!

- My husband is 100% sane...
- He's a wounded animal, Estelle.

He's completely normal!

How could you?

My God, Jeff Shaw?

Leslie Frimm?

The Grudzinski twins?
I mean, Jesus Christ!

No, no, no!

I was prepared to give you
the benefit of the doubt.

You're obviously half-seas over
most of the time anyways, so fair enough.

Paul. Let's be calm and talk.

I think it's a little too late
for talk, wouldn't you say?

Paul, what is wrong with you?

And involving the children,
Estelle, that is the lowest trick of all.

Let me tell you that I'm
going home right now,

and I'm gonna punch
Jeff Shaw on the nose!

I just don't know
how you could do this to me.

That mate of Clive's
with the obvious rug?

Have you got no taste at all?

I thought you liked him,
that's the whole point!

I can't stand him myself, actually.

You are sick.

Paul! Paul!

This is entirely typical behaviour.

What? Becoming hysterical
because I organised a party for him?

Of course!

His self-esteem is so low

that he sees anything with him
at the centre of it as a threat.

I did notice he quite often
had a pint at lunchtime.

You know, that's
the first indication.

And he said to me last Christmas
they intended to get lagged up!

Better follow him before
he becames really dangerous.

Did you say your son
was with Jeff?

Paul is not a violent man!

You have to face
the truth, Estelle.

My husband's an alcoholic.

Is that guy really my dad?

He had long hair till the
Berlin Wall came down.

I don't know if the
two events are connected.

- So, Rory gets him back here...
- Edwin?

Jeff, are you there?
Jeff, it's Estelle.

It's about Paul, we're
extremely worried about him.

Can you pick up
if you're there, please?

Jeff? It's Peter.

Paul is an alcoholic!

He's also deeply disturbed
and in denial!

He somehow found out
about tonight.

And finds it a threat!

Hello?

Hi, you don't know me,
but I work with Paul.

We're all really worried
and wondering what to do.

Jeff, Jeff, hi.
My name is Ronnie Pilfrey.

He may be in alcoholic psychosis.

I thought I detected traces
of Fuhrmann syndrome.

- I am a qualified doctor.
- Just.

I'm here for him, Jeff.

And for you, too,
should you need me.

Apparently, the thing to do is not to
make any specific references to the reunion,

he finds it very upsetting.

Try and get him to call me!

Actually, I think it's me
he should call.

Try and get him
to explore his feelings!

It's his feelings
we're interested in.

He feels confused,
betrayed, lost,

and this party is some kind of
a metaphore for his aloneness.

You think he may be dangerous?

Yes. I certainly do.

I won't do anything to offend him.

You know, it's funny,
I feel...

ridiculously guilty about
pulling the wool over his eyes.

He's always been so easy to con.

- A new fan belt, you say?
- Oh my God, he's there, isn't he?

- Stay calm, Jeff!
- I'll have to think about that.

- Stay calm!
- Thanks.

Paul. Hi.

I didn't realise you were
in the house.

Crept up on me.

By which I mean there's no reason
you shouldn't be in the house.

It is your house,
for God's sake!

Paul?

How are you feeling?

I'm fine.
Absolutely fine.

I know all about it, you know.

I... know you know.

And I'm glad, in a way,
you know.

And I'm glad that
you know... I know.

I mean, Jesus, Jeff!

That mate of Clive's
with the obvious rug?!

Jesus.

Why don't we sit down
and talk about it, eh?

Paul, are you sure you need that?

If ever a situation
called for getting blind-drunk,

I would say that this was it.
Wouldn't you, Jeff? Honestly?

I'm afraid I wouldn't.

- It's only a question...
- Oh, what's the point?

It's Sue Drake all over again.

Will it never end?

Paul, listen...

Paul!

Wait a minute,
listen to me...

- Hi, dad.
- Hi.

Dad, you're young.
It's so weird.

Indeed. The good old days.

I'm afraid things have
rather changed since then.

Indeed.

Edwin, Woj,
I think you should leave.

Why?

Oh, do you two wanna...
kinda... hug and stuff?

It wasn't precisely
what I had in mind.

- We were just looking at the videos because...
- He knows, Woj.

Shame.

I don't think the young people
should be forced to watch this, do you?

No, it's cool!
We really like it.

The Grudzinski twins are wicked.

There's that really funny bit
with the baguette.

I don't mean this,
I mean... Edwin, Woj, just go.

- I don't see why a surprise...
- Edwin, please.

I think I know
how you must be feeling.

Jeff, you don't have any idea
how I'm feeling.

You have no conception.

I can try, Paul.

I can try to understand
how you feel.

Hi, hello, hi, hi.

Hello, hi, everyone.

This is Daniel Slippery from
Elucidate Management Consultancy.

He's prepared a plan for us.

- Dan.
- Thanks, Harry.

Modern charities are tough,
money orientated institutions.

And we at Elucidate
feel that a heritage of caring

is no substitute
for the bottom line.

Now, the biggest asset of any company
walks through the door in the morning.

It's you!

But you're also the biggest overhead.

Rory has a question.

Yes. How long are we gonna
have to listen to this bollocks?

I've prepared a plan which
details the staff to be lost.

At the end of the meeting
I'm gonna read it to you.

And then we're gonna
club you to death.

Wait a second.

You're saying...

You're saying that you
all knew about each other?

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, I mean...

Estelle was obviously...

you know...

in the middle.

Pulling our strings,
so to speak.

But how can you sit
in my house

and look me in the eye
and tell me these things?

It's only a bit of fun, Paul.

I can remember one hilarious night,

when some of us were
upstairs in your bedroom,

and you were downstairs,

and we thought you'd rump us.

And that mate of Clive's
with the obvious rug,

said to Nobby's friend...

I'm really sorry.

I can see you're
finding this upsetting.

Just a little.

I mean, involving Edwin,
for God's sake?

Edwin's been crucial! He's been
getting the videos of all of us.

- Rory...
- Oh, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no!

No! I know my oldest son better
than anyone else in the world,

and if you think that he'd been happy
to be dragged into this perverted scheme,

then you've got
another thing coming!

Paul, it was only a few tapes!

Paul, come on.

Tell me what you're feeling.

Get out of my house!

Go on, get out!

Out!

You need help!

Well, my name's Paul Slippery

And I work for the National Health

Well, my name is Paul Slippery...

...National Health.

....betrayed me

And my family
left me on the shelf.

- Surinder, hi!
- Hi.

Come in.

Paul, I'm really worried
about you. Are you okay?

Not okay.

Not okay.

Come on, sit up,
Paul, sit up!

You're so sweet, Surinder.

You're so kind and gentle,

and sweet and intelligent,

and... medically qualified.

And... brown.

No, don't laugh, Surinder.

You were always the girl I wanted.

You were the one I wanted
all those years and months and weeks...

and things.

Sleep with me, please.

No.

Okay.

Would you call me a minicab?

Just how good a begger are you?

Do you use bandages?
Have you got a dog?

And is it the right dog?

Dad?

Darling, it's Estelle here.

Your father has an extremely
serious drinking problem,

he's on his way
over to talk to you...

He's extremely dangerous, Rory!
It's Peter here.

He's in urgent need of therapy!

I told you, I can't talk about this,
bloody Daniel's about to fire me!

Mum, I told you, I'm in the middle
of an important meeting, I can't...

Rory, you don't seem
to got hold of this.

Your father is extremely dangerous.

To himself and others!

Get out of there
while you have the chance!

He's full of rage and despair!

- Jesus, he's here.
- Get out of there, Rory.

Get out now!

- Hey!
- Excuse me!

No, it's all right,
I'll handle it.

Sit down!

So...

So that that's...

Let's get to the
main event, this is...

my redundancy plan
for Side Street.

Redundancy?

Good idea. Cut out the deadwood.

No, don't! Don't cut out the deadwood.
You've gotta save wood.

Wood doesn't grow
on trees, you know?

Shut up.

I've analysed the books and
I've studied your working practices.

And I've concluded that only one
person is surplus to requirement.

And that's your managing
director, Harry Green.

- What?
- He pays himself too much.

In the three weeks he's been here,
he's claimed 19 taxi fares,

and 15 lunches. What's wrong
with the bus, Harry?

Ever heard of a sandwich?

Guys, look, I'm an MD.
I don't do buses.

And the rest of you,

including my hardworking
brother over there,

you're the beating heart
of this concern.

All power to you.

Why am I clapping?

God, it was scary.

I had to go down
to the pub to recover.

No offence.

Rory's turned his mobile off.

Paul is now convincing his sons
that it was us and not him

who is in serious need
of medical help.

That is entirely typical behaviour.

Maybe he's right!

There you are, you see.

Alcoholics are notoriously
plausible and cunning.

Yeah, we noticed.

- Who are you?
- I'm Woj. I'm not an alcoholic.

Peter, you're an expert in all this.

Do you think Paul continue
chucking stuff about?

It's very hard to say, Estelle.

It's very hard to say anything really.

I mean, I seem perfectly normal
and sane to you, Edwin...

Count me out of this.

...or to you, say, Woj...

I'm with him.

I've been waiting for you
to say that!

But actually, inside,

there's this little man screaming:

"Go on!"

"Peter, go on!
Have a gin and tonic!"

"And a large Jameson's
on the rocks!"

Sorry, inside where?

Inside me.

Oh, God.

Thanks for this.

Look, whatever Estelle's told you,

and that is entirely her affair,

I just don't want to get
into a slaying match.

What matters to me

is that my relationship
with you guys is...

you know...

unchanged.

By the... the things
that are going on.

What things are going on?

I don't want to get into that.

Neither do I, but as far
as I'm concerned, nothing's going on.

- Anything going on, Daniel?
- Uhm, not as far as I'm aware.

Estelle does think
you're an alcoholic.

Then she doesn't know me.

Peter Mailer thinks
you're an alcoholic.

Peter Mailer thinks
everyone is an alcoholic.

Dad, you are pissed!

Text message from Reykjavík!
Beat that!

Dan, you're my brother, and I love you,
but we don't want to beat that.

Okay.

Well, I think I should be
going home now.

I'd very much like it
if you two chaps would come with me.

Cause you... are good men.

Decent, God fearing men.

And I know that
you wouldn't lie to me.

Not about anything major, anyway.

Well, I think we should have,
like, beanbags.

Yeah, and joss sticks.

Trouble is I've got no idea what
a men's consciousness raising session looks like!

The only way I've ever raised my consciousness
is by shagging complete strangers!

I don't know if we should be having this,
it might be too much of a shock for him.

Estelle! Estelle!

Rory called.
Paul's sober now.

It's gonna be hard,
but we'll all help.

We'll all give him love.

Thank you very much, Peter.

My second wife organised
a surprise party for me.

Throughout it I had the strong delusion
that I'd arranged it.

It broke up the marriage.

There's a guy hanging around outside
who looks like a flasher.

Cyril de Tourner.

He is always early.

I think it's really great that you're
coming to this men's group, Daniel.

- My pleasure.
- Although he is unreachable.

I'm so not unreachable!
I'm a really nice, decent,

honest, sincere man,
who tries to respect my bitch.

You know, I've had
the most terrible day.

And yet, I feel okay.

Because you guys are with me.

And you're not gonna spring
any surprises on me.

But I really want to hear
about Lucy and Laura.

I want us to...
to really talk, you know?

Honestly and openly as male...

men.

Edwin, darling, stop picking!

Hello.

Excuse me, everybody,
Paul's gonna be here in 3 minutes,

I want you to sit down
and look sensitive.

Estelle? It's Gwendolen.

Don't ever do that to me again!

We're coming to some
sort of crisis, you and I.

Why the hell weren't you
at the presentation?

You need to decide
what you want, Estelle,

and not in my time...

And Steve pulled her! Right? He got her
in the back of the old Mondeo! He gave her one!

Very funny. Now, everyone,
let's get on with this. Sit down, please.

Sit down.

Right.

You look completely unreconstructed.
You're meant to be new men!

Raising your levels of consciousness,
talking about your feelings!

- And farting.
- And farting.

- Yes.
- Listen to the boss.

When he comes in, I want you
to look at the floor and then turn suddenly.

Then what?

Then he has a heart attack.

Right, men... let's raise
some consciousness.

- Hi, Paul!
- Hello, Paul!

Cyril de Tourner is a really nice bloke.

Cyril de Tourner is a creep.

And Leslie Frimm...

that Joan Baez impression:
superb stuff!

You know, I think those Grudzinski twins,
I think they're gay.

- Both of them?
- Possibly.

Peter Mailer really likes
the taste of Coca Cola, he told me.

Peter Mailer is crashingly boring.

I'm really sorry about today.

Don't worry.

It's perfectly normal to think your wife
is shagging all your oldest friends.

I just don't know
what got into me.

You...

Women.

That is exactly the word
I was looking for, you women...

You women are more perceptive
in human relations than men.

How did you know
I was gonna say that?

You say it three times a week.

In the early '90s you started
to say it every day until I told you to stop,

which you did for about a year,
and now you gradually phase it back in again.

God, I must be boring
to live with.

You are sometimes.

You can remember
what I said in 1995,

and I can't even remember
when we last had sex.

Can't you?

You don't believe I can't
remember when we last had sex.

I don't say I don't believe,

I just don't know
whether I believe or not.

I can remember.

I can remember
when we had sex once.

It was in a hotel room in France.

It was the afternoon.

It was very hot and we could...

hear kids playing
in the square below,

we didn't have
any kids back then.

And afterwards
we just laid there...

and looked at each other...

We didn't speak.

It was like the whole
world had stopped.

Do you remember that?