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Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,438
REBECCA:
Greg, listen,
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00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:05,439
I care about you.
4
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:06,507
Tell me...
5
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,509
tell me how you feel,
if you have any feelings.
6
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,145
I need-I need to-to take...
7
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,047
I need to take a nap.
Greg?
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00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,548
Rebecca, no matter
what I do...
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00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,018
...I feel you with me.
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00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,790
Why don't you leave
a few things here?
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00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,125
I have plenty of room.
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00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,393
Just put it
in one of my drawers.
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00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,397
Is that Greg's sweatshirt?
14
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,332
I am looking for Greg.
15
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,600
I really need to find him.
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00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,602
I need to speak
to your son, Greg.
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00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,404
Look, there he is, there he is!
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00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,572
Hi, I'm Greg,
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00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,574
and I'm an alcoholic.
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00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,210
I'm addicted to her life.
21
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:45,079
It's like I... did another
fist full of blow.
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00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:46,580
What's this?
Okay,
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00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,616
just a simple contract laying
out the terms of our friendship.
24
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,184
It stipulates that my
services as a friend
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00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,452
exclude shenanigans.
26
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,354
There's just still
something missing in my life.
27
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,090
I just-- and I don't know
what it is.
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00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,263
GREG:
Once I took
my very first drink,
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00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,098
I felt bulletproof.
30
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:07,201
For the first time in my life,
I didn't care about anything.
31
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,769
About how people felt,
about how I felt,
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00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,105
about what was going on
with my mom and dad.
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00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,641
Alcohol became my shield.
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00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,276
And it worked.
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00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,179
At least I thought it worked
until 27 days ago.
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00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,282
Thanks for bringing the
donuts this week.
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00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,283
You bet, man.
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00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,152
And thank you for sharing, dude.
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00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,519
Oh, thanks, Guardrail.
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00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,787
"Guardrail," is that because
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00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,589
you were conceived
on the open road, or...
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00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,857
Nah, my buddy Throttle
gave me that name
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00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,360
because I was so
overprotective of my coke.
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00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,428
(chuckling):
Those were the days.
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00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:35,896
So, things going okay?
With me?
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00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,166
Yeah, weirdly enough,
I'm doing all right.
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00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,833
Feel my feelings, yadda yadda.
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00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,236
I remember how good I felt
when I first got sober.
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Almost euphoric.
Exactly.
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00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,539
Then I found it was
just a phase.
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00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,641
We call it the pink cloud.
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00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,877
When that went away, I had
to deal with some rough stuff.
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00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,280
Listen, thank you
for the indirect,
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00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,815
passive-aggressive warning,
but I'm coming to the meetings,
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00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,185
I'm doing great.
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00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:58,886
Hey, tell you what, how about
I bring the donuts next time?
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00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:02,523
Uh, okay, cool.
58
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,425
You know we really love
our donuts here.
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00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,659
I'm on it.
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00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,661
What could possibly stop me?
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00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,863
(humming)
(door opening, closing)
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00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,265
(sings indistinctly)
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00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:12,700
Oh, hey, Josh!
How was karate?
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00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,834
Were you the best one there?
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00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:14,935
Becks, the only person
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00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,170
I'm trying to be better than
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00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,805
is the person I was yesterday.
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00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,507
Mm.
And today, I kicked
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00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,908
Yesterday Josh's ass!
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00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:21,909
Yeah, you did!
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00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,444
Oh. Oh!
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00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,313
(moans)
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00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,248
Mmm, what smells
so good?
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00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,416
Oh, I made you something.
75
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,784
It's called noodle kugel.
76
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,286
It's a Jewish thing.
I figured, I don't know,
77
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,421
I've had your people's food.
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00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,555
You've never had
my people's food.
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00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,556
It's delicious.
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00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,657
It's my bubbe's recipe.
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00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,226
Oh, bubbe would've hated you.
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00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:39,427
She was really racist.
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00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,729
It was a different time,
but still... wrong.
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00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:42,930
Anyway, you hungry?
85
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,965
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
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00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,735
I had a sushi burrito
after karate.
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00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:48,936
Oh, that's okay.
88
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,238
No worries.
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00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,572
See, that's
what I love about you.
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00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,573
You love me?
Love about you.
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00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,408
Love about me-- right,
right, right, got it.
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00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:55,876
Like, I know that you're
not gonna get mad at me,
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00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,678
because I didn't eat
the Jewish noodles.
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00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,313
We're independent.
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00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:00,748
You know, we come together
when we want to,
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00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:03,717
and when we don't,
we stay in our own lanes.
97
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,553
Lanes, exactly!
Exactly.
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00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,521
Uh, all right,
so no kugel for now.
99
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,623
Do you want to watch a movie
just like in a chilling
100
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,759
in own... lanes type of way?
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00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,960
It's just, I-I don't know.
102
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,328
Feel like I haven't
seen you in a forever.
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00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,230
You've had a thing
every night this week.
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00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,232
(groans)
I have plans.
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00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,667
Football
at Hector's house.
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00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,369
And I know
how you hate football.
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00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,436
I don't hate football.
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00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:23,571
I-I get why
it's fun, it just
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00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,839
kind of propagates the ideology
of physical dominance
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00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,675
and the economic subjugation
of the working poor.
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00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,810
Plus the concussions.
It should be illegal, LOL.
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00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,445
(laughs)
Um...
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00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,380
What are you doing Friday?
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00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,781
Shoot, Friday I got a thing.
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00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,283
Just another guy thing.
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00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,451
But, Josh, that's the thing--
I love guy stuff.
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00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:39,653
I'm, like, such a guy.
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00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,622
When I was a kid, people thought
I was a guy all the time.
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00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,457
It turned out I had
a hormone imbalance.
120
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:45,793
It was a very,
it was a very hard time.
121
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,562
But-but, yeah,
I'm down to do whatever.
122
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,698
What are you doing
Friday, broseph?
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00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,733
Just going to a new place
called The Paddle.
124
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,368
It's a Ping-Pong
cocktaileria.
125
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,403
It's pretty fun.
126
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,870
Wait, hold on a second.
127
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:57,971
Did you say Ping-Pong?
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00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,006
(glissando chimes)
129
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,808
Josh, shut up.
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00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,343
Shut up.
Shut your stupid face.
131
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,143
What...?
No,
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00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,679
Josh, shut up!
Shut up right now!
133
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:06,780
You know that
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00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,916
I was a teenage
Ping-Pong champion.
135
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,385
I was the Junior Miss
Table Tennis Champion
136
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,521
for the Eastern Northern
Seaboard County District.
137
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,723
Seriously? The Junior
Miss Table Tennis Champion
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00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,758
for the Eastern Northern
Seaboard County District?
139
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,660
How do I not know that already?
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00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,029
I don't know.
Maybe we should hang out more.
141
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,731
Maybe we should live together.
(laughs)
142
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,865
(both laughing)
143
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,467
Oh...
Oh, yeah.
144
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,668
Yeah, it's true.
145
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,936
This is great.
146
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,772
I mean, you should come by and
give us a few pointers, then.
147
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,708
Oh, my God, I couldn't.
I'm-I'm so rusty, but okay!
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00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,610
Cool.
149
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,647
Yeah.
150
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,584
* I'm just a girl in love
151
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,553
* La-la-la, lovey-dove *
152
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,456
* I can't be held responsible
for my actions *
153
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,823
* She's an ingenue *
154
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,859
* I have no underlying issues
to address *
155
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,595
* I'm certifiably cute
and adorably obsessed *
156
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,464
* They say love
makes you crazy *
157
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,699
* Therefore,
you can't call her crazy *
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00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,701
* 'Cause when you
call her crazy *
159
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,070
* You're just calling her
in love. *
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00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,705
Blam!
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00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,744
(elevator bell dings,
indistinct chatter)
162
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,780
Hello, men!
163
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:14,882
What's with her?
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00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,617
I don't know, but I'll find out.
165
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,118
I'm her best friend.
166
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,853
Everyone knows that, right?
167
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,855
Everyone knows
you say it.
168
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,492
Same thing, right?
169
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,527
(mouse clicking)
170
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,666
Hey, babe.
What's up?
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00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:33,901
Nothing. Never mind.
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00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,103
If I told you,
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00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,204
it would, you know, violate
174
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,773
the no-shenanigans clause
of our friend contract.
175
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,942
Oh.
But basically,
I have to learn
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00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,411
how to be, like,
a competition-level
177
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,645
Ping-Pong player in a day.
178
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,714
Wow. Okay. Anyways, listen...
179
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:50,384
(gasps)
You're not!
I am.
180
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:53,053
(gasps)
I'm applying
to law school!
181
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,922
(screams)
(laughing)
182
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,924
Yes! Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes!
(both laughing)
183
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,760
BOTH:
Law school! Esquire! Esquire!
184
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,795
Paula! Paula!
Esquire! Paula!
185
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:04,064
Esquire...
Paula. What word do you want
to chant? Just let me know.
186
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,533
I can't choose.
They're all awesome.
187
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,000
Okay, listen. It doesn't matter.
188
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,136
I need a letter
of recommendation.
189
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,772
Rebecca Nora Bunch,
would you do me the honor?
190
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,941
Yes, yes, yes.
A thousand times yes.
191
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,476
Oh. (laughs)
(squeaks)
192
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,777
(laughs)
193
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,646
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
194
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,080
Okay, I need that
by Friday, okay?
195
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,115
I'll get it done today.
Oh, God, Rebecca.
196
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,985
Things are finally
starting to happen for me.
197
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,454
You know?
198
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,422
I can't believe it.
199
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:32,426
My dreams
might actually come true.
200
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:35,696
You so deserve it.
201
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,698
(laughing)
PAULA: Mm.
202
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,099
Okay.
203
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,735
(sighs)
Oh.
204
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,974
(sighs)
205
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,979
* When I was a little girl
206
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,448
* I felt like a princess
207
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:58,686
* So naive and full of hope
208
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,822
* I thought
my dreams would come true *
209
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,157
* But then as I grew
210
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,660
* The world was all like
211
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,462
(giggles)
212
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,598
* Nope
213
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,866
But this time, maybe,
214
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:17,004
just maybe...
215
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,072
(birds singing)
216
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:24,177
* Maybe this dream
won't lead to disgrace *
217
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:28,749
* Maybe this dream
is in reach *
218
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:33,220
* Maybe this dream
won't poop on my face *
219
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:37,991
* Like a seagull at the beach
220
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:42,696
* Maybe this dream
won't be like my wedding *
221
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:46,500
* The organ played
"There Goes the Bride" *
222
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,001
I came back.
223
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:52,072
* Maybe this dream
won't be like some maggots *
224
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:57,578
* Feasting on the rotting
deer carcass of my pride *
225
00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:01,915
* Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh
226
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:06,520
* Maybe this dream
won't be like my vibrator *
227
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,557
* Breaking when I need it most
228
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,924
* Tweedle deedle dee! *
229
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:15,663
* Maybe this dream
won't be like Ebola *
230
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,666
* Eating the flesh of its host
231
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,801
* Tweedle deedle doo! *
232
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,070
* Maybe this dream
won't be like *
* Tweet-tweet, tweet-tweet *
233
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,172
* When I go running
* Tweet, tweet, tweet *
234
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,240
* And I have to take a dump
235
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,677
* So I have to rush home
236
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,579
* Plus I also have my period
237
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,782
* So I have menstrual cramps
plus dump cramps *
238
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:37,217
* And as I run frantically
239
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,553
* I pee just a little
240
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,589
* Because I've had two babies
241
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,857
* So by the time I get home
242
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:47,728
* My undies smell
like a sewer rat *
243
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:55,168
* Maybe this dream
won't be like that *
244
00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:04,044
* Maybe this dream
will finally make me feel *
245
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:10,984
* Like I deserve
246
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,987
* A...
247
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:20,961
* Dream.
248
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,168
(sighs)
249
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,605
(phone ringing)
250
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,641
Paula Proctor.
How may I help you?
251
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,714
No, don't even worry about it.
It's my pleasure. Yeah.
252
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:41,982
Okay. Nope. Thank you.
253
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,921
Rebecca told me you're
applying to law school.
254
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,189
Ee!
And so...
255
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,025
I took the liberty
of writing you
256
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,694
* A recommendation.
257
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,062
Oh.
258
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,097
Well, um, here's the thing.
259
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,966
Rebecca's actually
doing it for me,
260
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,267
'cause, I mean, we're besties.
261
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,102
So...
Oh. My... Yeah. Yeah.
262
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,037
Of course. Of course.
I understand.
263
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,139
I mean, you and I are best
friends, and she's your bestie.
264
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,340
Whatever that is.
265
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:10,277
But you know what? If you
need a second recommendation,
266
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,779
consider it done.
267
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,047
No. Here's the thing. I don't.
268
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,884
So, um, but, like, thank you.
269
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,018
Well, that's cool. That's cool.
270
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,220
I'll just hang on
to this, and...
271
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,722
you know, maybe
do another draft,
272
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,290
another polish, as they say.
273
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,491
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah.
274
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,094
Yeah. Everything could always
use a little improvement.
275
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,829
Just like a friendship.
276
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,363
(elevator bell dings)
277
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,400
Can I help you?
Hi.
278
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,534
I'm Xiao Huang,
279
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,771
2016 San Gabriel Valley
Junior Table Tennis Champion.
280
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,339
Do you know where I can find...
281
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,307
REBECCA:
Ooh, ooh! That's mine!
That's mine!
282
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,743
He's with me! He's with me!
Hi, I'm Rebecca.
283
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,877
Hi.
Do you need coffee
284
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,679
before we get started?
Espresso?
No.
285
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,681
I just think if it's
really meant to be,
286
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:50,083
you don't need to manufacture
some fake enthusiasm
287
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,719
for Josh's hobby.
288
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,354
Isn't a relationship all about
meeting in the middle?
289
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,891
Okay, Dr. Ruth,
I'm paying you for Ping-Pong,
290
00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:00,260
not the hokey-pokey
about the hanky-panky.
291
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,696
Oh, that's funny.
Should I tweet that?
292
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,864
Let's just
get back to Ping-Pong.
293
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:04,732
How do I hold the paddle?
294
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,767
Do I hold it like this
or like this?
295
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,035
You hold it like this.
296
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,737
No, wait, I look dumb.
297
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,438
I need to look hot.
Can you do that?
298
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,174
Sexy Ping-Pong.
Copy that.
299
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,408
Cool.
300
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,747
There he is.
301
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,414
Mr. Leaving Las Vegas,
302
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,050
but with an
inspirational ending.
303
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,317
Kev, don't.
304
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,720
I get it. You want
to downplay your courage.
305
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,055
I understand.
306
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,356
I'm just so proud of you, man.
307
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,358
You inspired me
to quit kettle chips.
308
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,926
That's my gateway drug.
309
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,062
That's not a drug.
It's a potato.
310
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,998
Also, you no longer have to
serve alcoholic beverages.
311
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,301
And I've taken beer-battered
shrimp off the menu.
312
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,470
Oh, God.
313
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,138
Hey, Greg.
Heard you finally
314
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,339
figured out
you're an alcoholic.
315
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,741
I'm happy for you.
316
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,810
Thanks?
Yeah, I had
an ex-boyfriend
317
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,411
who went to rehab
for his Oxy addiction.
318
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,280
Lot of ups and downs.
319
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,482
May he rest in peace.
He died?
320
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,117
No, but I hope he does.
321
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,219
He stole a lot of 20s
out of my purse.
322
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,254
Anyway, I'm pulling
for you, buddy.
323
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,491
We all are.
Guys, I appreciate
your support, but can we just
324
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:07,995
do our jobs and not
talk about this so much?
325
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,963
I understand.
We should keep things normal.
326
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,198
That's what we should do.
Yeah.
327
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,167
Listen up, gang!
328
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,769
Be normal!
329
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,337
Greg does not want
to treated differently
330
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,439
for his
alcohol addiction!
331
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,974
So, be cool.
332
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,475
Be cool.
333
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,978
Emergency meeting
called by Serrano--
334
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,179
what do you think
it's about?
335
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,280
Did you tell him
about you and Rebecca?
336
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,281
You said you were gonna.
337
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,150
I haven't seen him,
no one has.
338
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,452
He hasn't been around.
I will tell him
339
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,788
at some point.
Gentlemen.
340
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,156
What do you think
Serrano wants?
341
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,491
Uh, I don't know.
Maybe we should ask him,
342
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,061
since he's right there.
He's...
343
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,030
waving us over?
'Sup, man?
344
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,497
You ghosted on us.
Where you been?
345
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,498
Yeah, what's this meeting about?
346
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,267
Okay, guys,
give him a break.
347
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,037
He's trying to tell us.
Greg, whatever this is,
348
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:53,073
it concerns all of us.
Or... right?
349
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,143
Y-You asked us all to come here
because, uh, you...
350
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,479
I mean, you're not putting any
one individual on blast, right?
351
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,014
Dude,
352
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,283
what?
Shh! Let him talk.
353
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,018
Greg, you have the floor.
354
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,153
Sit down, guys.
355
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,291
Here's the thing:
I'm...
356
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,826
sorry I've been M.I.A.
357
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,028
And that I lied to you.
358
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:18,265
My mom didn't have
botched plastic surgery.
359
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,968
Though she did get her nose done
recently and it looks amazing.
360
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,136
But the truth is,
361
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,538
I have been dealing
with some things.
362
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,308
Like?
363
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,977
Like I got a DUI,
364
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,511
spent a night in jail,
turns out I'm an alcoholic.
365
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,313
I've been going to meetings
and I'm trying to stay sober.
366
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,315
That's it,
bingo, bango, done. Beers?
367
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:37,584
Wow.
368
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:40,520
Wow, dude,
this is... heavy.
369
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,156
I know. It's a shock, right?
370
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,291
Eh...
371
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,860
Or not a shock.
372
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,562
Yeah, no, not really.
Sort of saw that coming.
373
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,931
I'm shocked.
374
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,067
A-And upset.
Greg, I'm sorry.
375
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,936
I'm so... sorry.
376
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,037
I feel terrible.
377
00:13:57,070 --> 00:14:00,007
If I did anything to
contribute to this in any way...
378
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,075
What?
I-I... In...
379
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:04,344
I was the one
with the fake ID in high school.
380
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,914
At every party, I would dare you
to drink the whole bottle
381
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,982
because I thought it was
funny or something.
382
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,251
God, I don't know if I can
live with myself anymore.
383
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,086
Weirdly, this isn't about you.
384
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,422
It's okay.
Don't give Josh a hard time.
385
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,890
My sponsor,
Guardrail--
386
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,092
that's his biker name.
It's a long story.
387
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:20,260
He has a friend named Throttle.
388
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,628
It's a very colorful
group of people.
389
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,663
I-I'm not supposed to
say names, but I think
390
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,365
nicknames are okay,
but just don't
391
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,500
tell any of your biker friends--
just cover our bases.
392
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,302
But anyway,
Guardrail said
393
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,139
some people in my life would
take it harder than others.
394
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,241
It's... it's all right, Josh.
395
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,977
No one caused this.
396
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,446
It's me.
And I'm working on it.
397
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,115
Well, I'm proud of you.
Cheers, Greg.
398
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,650
Don't cheers
an alcoholic, dumb-ass.
399
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,552
It's a light beer,
idiot-ass.
400
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,520
White Josh is right.
I-I don't think
401
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,122
we should be
drinking around you.
402
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:50,557
No, it's okay. I...
403
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,992
You don't have the problem,
I do.
404
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,995
You guys can
drink, I can't.
405
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,663
Let me show you what I mean.
406
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,999
Come on.
407
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,001
(all exclaim)
408
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,503
(all laughing)
409
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,406
* Gather ye 'round
and I'll tell you a tale *
410
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,341
* Of all the great times
411
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,443
* I've had with an ale
412
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,345
* There's joy
and there's glory *
413
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,214
* More than you can think
414
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,985
* Yes, this is what happens
to me when I drink *
415
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,454
* I pee my pants, my pants
416
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,223
* I pee my pants
417
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,726
* I get up from the bar
to find pee on my pants *
418
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,595
* I say it's water
419
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,263
* But all it takes
is a glance *
420
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:34,134
* For people to realize
I peed my pants *
421
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,303
Wow, I did not know
it was that bad.
422
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:40,073
* Yes, wine can be fun--
white, rosé and red *
423
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,343
* Till I call up my boss,
say I wish he was dead *
424
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:47,014
* Chase down the regret
with some gin for good luck *
425
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:50,583
* Then steal my cousin Jim's
landscaping truck *
426
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,487
* Drive home, then
I puke on my cat, my cat *
427
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,123
* I puke on my cat
428
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,759
* I fall through the doorway
and puke on my cat *
429
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:03,030
* Poor little Bruno
did not expect that *
430
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:06,633
* I try for the toilet,
but puke on my cat *
431
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,471
* While some can enjoy
432
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,606
* A scotch with a steak
433
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,775
* Or one glass of wine
434
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,112
* Then they're barely awake
435
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,347
* For me it's much different
436
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,483
* What happens when
437
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,485
* I try to have one
438
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,620
* It just turns into ten
439
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,222
* And then...
440
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,091
* I fly a plane
441
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,760
* A plane, I fly a plane
442
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,595
* I knock on the cockpit,
shouting *
443
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,230
* "I'll fly this plane"
444
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:40,667
* We emergency landed,
the TSA came *
445
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,371
* Now I'm banned from Southwest
'cause I try to fly planes *
446
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,505
Everybody!
447
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,340
MEN:
* He has sex with a bush
448
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,410
* A bush,
he has sex with a bush *
449
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,179
That wasn't a woman?
450
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,746
MEN:
* No, it was a bush
451
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:57,784
* It had twigs and leaves,
'cause it was a bush *
452
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,519
* That's where
that scar comes from *
453
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,121
* From sexing a bush
454
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,591
* But he's breaking the cycle
and making a push *
455
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,260
* He's quitting his drinking
456
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,229
* And saving his pants
457
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,731
* And his cat and Southwest
and Jim's truck *
458
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,466
* And my car
* My car, too
459
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,569
* And the bush!
460
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,071
(cheering, applause)
461
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,240
I didn't do
anything wrong. Yes!
462
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,309
Again, not about you.
463
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,311
(sighs)
464
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,379
Dear God,
thank you for this boba.
465
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,548
Bless the hands that have
rolled these tapioca balls.
466
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,817
Is that how boba is made?
I'm not sure.
467
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,153
Don't you only say grace
before a meal?
468
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,488
Boba is a drink that you eat.
469
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,856
Okay, dude, listen.
470
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,291
I'm in a rough place.
471
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,527
Greg is an alcoholic.
472
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,196
I can't tell him
about me and Rebecca.
473
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,165
He's in such a fragile state.
I...
474
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,599
I don't think
he could handle it.
475
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,601
Okay, so...
Now, I know
what you're gonna say:
476
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,403
"Be honest, blah, blah, blah."
477
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,671
You know,
"Jesus likes honesty,
478
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,739
blah, blah, blah."
479
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:55,208
But Jesus didn't have sex
with his friend's ex.
480
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,443
I mean,
not that I know of, anyway.
481
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,677
Maybe he did. I don't know.
482
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,679
Josh, stop.
483
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,582
I think your impulse to
not tell Greg is wise.
484
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:03,850
And mature.
485
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,385
What? No.
486
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,786
Thank you.
Really?
487
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,788
Telling Greg would be selfish.
It would only alleviate
488
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,790
your own guilt,
blah, blah, blah,
489
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,725
Which I guess is
how I sound to you?
490
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:13,826
Mm-hmm.
491
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,229
Josh, you're right.
492
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,198
Greg has a lot on
his plate right now.
493
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,432
Don't add to it.
494
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,733
Wow.
495
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,101
I'm right about this?
496
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,504
Great. Because I really
497
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,705
didn't want to tell him.
498
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,341
Uh, well, uh, you are
gonna have a chance
499
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,743
to practice not
telling him right now.
500
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,815
So... there's this
thing in recovery
501
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,751
where you own up
to your mistakes.
502
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,687
And I'm just starting
to do that now,
503
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,589
and I know
I need to start with you.
504
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,825
Oh, Greg, you do not
have to do this.
505
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,860
Please, just
let me get this out.
506
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,164
I am so sorry
about the French fries.
507
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,433
What?
508
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,368
You know that time
when we went out
509
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:57,504
after seeing your
friend's terrible band,
510
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,173
and you ordered
French fries
511
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:03,643
and I ate all of them
because I was wasted?
512
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,879
When I think of myself
doing that, I am...
513
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,817
That was so selfish of me.
514
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,519
And I'm sorry.
515
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,254
Wow, I'm really glad
516
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,656
you reached out about that.
You are?
517
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,525
No, I don't
remember that at all,
518
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,460
but I will take
your French fry apology
519
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,728
and apply it to other stuff.
520
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,531
Okay. That works.
521
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,433
Did he see me?
522
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,268
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
He saw me?
Okay, I'm gonna walk
523
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,670
right up to him, say a quick
hello, and boom, I'm cool.
524
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,339
Yeah. Dude, this is
gonna go great for you.
525
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,473
Yeah.
526
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,408
Oh, hey.
527
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,877
Nice to see you guys.
How are you?
528
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,979
Hey, man, we didn't get
to talk much earlier.
529
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,781
I heard about you and
Valencia-- that's rough.
530
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:42,982
Where are you staying?
531
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,551
Wh... Where am I staying?
532
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,753
Where do I...
533
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,355
reside?
534
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,323
Where do you hang your hat?
535
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,558
Um...
536
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:52,759
um...
537
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,562
I have an Airbnb in Claremont.
538
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,431
It belongs to a celebrity.
539
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,500
He uses it as his weekend house.
540
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,002
What celebrity
weekends in Claremont?
541
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,638
Oh, I'm not supposed
to tell anyone. I mean...
542
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,607
It's Josh Hutcherson, but
you didn't hear that from me.
543
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,741
(chuckles)
Yeah, he goes there
544
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,710
when he wants to feel
down to earth, yeah.
545
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,312
Look, Josh, I know
you're weirded out
546
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,646
by the whole alcoholic thing.
547
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,582
I know it's coming from
a place of friendship.
548
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:16,849
Yeah.
549
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,519
Thank you. I... I think
it's kind of nice.
550
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,457
(loudly):
I slept with Rebecca!
551
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,393
Oh. There it is.
552
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,461
I'm sorry, what?
It was the night of the wedding
553
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,862
and I'm so sorry.
554
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,365
You're really good
at secrets, Josh.
555
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,533
You slept with
Rebecca that night.
556
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,969
That makes sense.
557
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,905
I was being a drunk jerk
558
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,274
and abandoned her
by blacking out.
559
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,542
I can't blame you guys.
560
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,511
I-I have
to take responsibility...
Okay, wait.
561
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,745
Before you forgive me,
you should know
562
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,947
it wasn't just the one time.
563
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,649
It's been, uh...
564
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,684
(muttering)
565
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:56,923
More than once.
Yeah, um,
566
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,426
it's been a lot of times, and
I'm sort of staying with her.
567
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,894
And there is no celebrity
Airbnb in Claremont.
568
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,430
I don't know famous people.
I wish I did.
569
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,598
I mean, I sold a karaoke machine
to Michael Madsen
(whispers): Stop talking.
570
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:06,733
at Aloha once...
571
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,368
It's okay, Josh. It's cool.
572
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,970
I don't need to know any
more information. We're cool.
573
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,406
Oh, God.
574
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,710
I feel so much better.
(chuckles)
575
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,446
Let's just put this behind us.
576
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,647
Okay?
577
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,881
Are you sure?
578
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,516
Yes.
579
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,057
Okay.
580
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,625
Bye.
581
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,395
Yeah.
582
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,430
What a mess.
583
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,066
Yeah.
Good job.
584
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,934
I'm sorry,
did you just bro-hug
585
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,404
the guy that's sleeping
with your ex-girlfriend?
586
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,072
Yeah.
587
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:48,475
Okay, but you're, like,
upset about it, right?
588
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:49,942
You really liked Rebecca.
589
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,411
You dicked me over for her.
590
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,745
It's, like,
kind of important to me
591
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,481
that you be upset
about this, Greg.
592
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:57,584
Listen, what Rebecca and I had
together was an undefined thing,
593
00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,819
followed
by a nightmare wedding date.
594
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:01,821
And then I didn't call her
for a month.
595
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:05,658
Dude, you're getting sober--
you're not turning into a robot.
596
00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:07,860
It's okay to have feelings.
597
00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,862
It's fine. I'm okay.
598
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:12,465
I'm, uh... I'm doing amazing.
599
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,100
Mm-hmm.
I'm bringing donuts
600
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,835
to my next meeting. I know that
doesn't sound like a big deal,
601
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,103
but it is. Oh, it is.
602
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:19,472
So, I, um, actually have
to go to work now.
603
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:20,540
I'm working a double.
604
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:23,476
Yeah, but...
Take care, Heather.
605
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:28,114
* Whooptie freakin' do
606
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:31,117
* My best friend is sleeping
with my ex behind my back *
607
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:32,819
* Who cares?
608
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,721
* I don't
609
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:36,756
* But I could if I wanted...
610
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:44,864
Hey. Oh.
611
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,667
What are you doin'?
Oh,
612
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,669
I'm just, uh, stretchin'
for my private Ping-Pong lesson
613
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,638
in the conference room
with an 11-year-old child.
614
00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:53,072
Of course.
615
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,607
'Cause that makes perfect sense.
616
00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,643
Okay. Hey, listen,
I just came in to remind you
617
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:57,877
that today is Friday.
618
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,146
Oh, thank God. Friday. TGIF.
619
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:04,751
Oh! Full House, Family Matters,
Step by Step.
620
00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,519
Okay, no,
you were supposed to, um,
621
00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,721
give me that letter
of recommendation by today.
622
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:10,523
Oh. Right.
623
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:13,726
Oh, oh, oh, the letter,
the letter, the letter.
624
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,928
Okay, can I get it
to you tonight?
625
00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:17,930
At literally, like, 2:00 a.m.
626
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:19,999
Can you submit it at 2:00 a.m.?
627
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,469
Yes. Yep.
628
00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:24,070
Yeah, that's no
problem at all.
629
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,738
I mean, or,
you know, I could...
630
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,173
I could just use
Darryl's letter, I guess.
631
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,641
No. Oh, come on,
632
00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:30,076
don't use
Darryl's letter.
633
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:31,744
I mean, I love the guy, but,
I mean, he can't even spell
634
00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:32,979
the word "separate."
635
00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:35,047
No, I'll do it,
I'll do it.
Okay.
636
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:36,616
I don't know, I'm just kind of
getting the feeling
637
00:23:36,649 --> 00:23:38,885
that maybe you don't want
to write the letter.
638
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,553
Oh, my God, no.
You're hurting my heart.
639
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,554
Of course I want to write it.
640
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,824
Ugh! But Xiao
just got here
641
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:45,925
and I don't want
to be rude,
642
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,694
because he's an
11-year-old child.
643
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:49,562
But, Paula,
I will write it, okay?
644
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:53,666
I promise. I always
keep my promises.
645
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,468
(English accent):
A Lannister always pays
her debts.
646
00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:58,505
I just started on season one.
So no spoilers. (grunts)
647
00:23:58,538 --> 00:23:59,539
Okay.
648
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:03,943
Darryl, what were you doing?
649
00:24:03,976 --> 00:24:06,245
Ned Stark dies, by the way.
650
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,714
No, but he's the show.
651
00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:09,181
Don't get too used
to Robb either.
652
00:24:09,215 --> 00:24:10,717
(gasps)
No.
653
00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:13,720
(groans)
654
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,855
You know what,
655
00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:17,857
you're getting a
lot better at this.
656
00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:19,592
And do I... do I look hot?
657
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:21,794
Uh, yeah?
658
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:23,730
Thank you, young man.
659
00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,698
Oh, this is
so great.
660
00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:27,133
'Cause when Josh sees
that I'm good at Ping-Pong,
661
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,736
he's gonna know
that I'm cool and independent
662
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:31,638
and he's gonna be
really impressed.
663
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:34,173
And I know exactly
what he's gonna say to himself.
664
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,843
(rock intro plays)
665
00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:39,946
* Whoa, yeah
666
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:42,214
* Okay
667
00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:43,883
* Hey!
668
00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,151
* Whoa
669
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:48,955
* Bros, beer, sports!
670
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:52,859
* When she walked
into the Ping-Pong hall *
671
00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:55,728
* Casually tossing
a Ping-Pong ball *
672
00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:58,698
* I could tell
she's the most perfect girl *
673
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:00,299
* Who's ever existed
674
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,535
* Dude!
675
00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,771
* Oh, man, look at her pong
that ping *
676
00:25:04,804 --> 00:25:08,541
* When she plays, she doesn't
care if anyone's watching *
677
00:25:08,575 --> 00:25:12,645
* She does it for herself
and that puts my fears to rest *
678
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,914
* Bro!
679
00:25:14,947 --> 00:25:16,716
* After each rally
680
00:25:16,749 --> 00:25:20,553
* She chugs beer
instead of water *
681
00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:22,922
* She's so aloof,
it borders on cold *
682
00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:27,259
* And that's what makes me
want her *
683
00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:28,327
* Ping-Pong girl
684
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,063
* She's so independent
685
00:25:31,097 --> 00:25:33,933
* This fantasy beats out
flight attendant *
686
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,802
* She's playing Ping-Pong
on her own terms *
687
00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:37,837
* So I'm the pursuer
688
00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:39,071
* Pursuer *
689
00:25:39,105 --> 00:25:40,940
* Ping-Pong girl
690
00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:43,109
* Her forehand is a jet stream
691
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:46,813
* And her backhand's right out
of a sex dream *
692
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:50,717
* And that's the best messy bun
I've ever seen in the world *
693
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,819
* My P-P-Ping-Pong girl
694
00:25:52,852 --> 00:25:56,088
* Girl, girl
695
00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:58,691
* Dudes sing these kinds
of songs! *
696
00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:01,628
* Whoa, bro
697
00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:04,196
* Sega, jock itch!
698
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:05,998
* When she serves the ball
699
00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:07,700
* Look how she throws it
700
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:11,804
* She's so hot
but she doesn't know it *
701
00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:15,141
* She probably just found
that outfit laying around *
702
00:26:15,174 --> 00:26:17,376
* Like in the trash! *
703
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,046
* Look at her skill
on the Ping-Pong... uh, court? *
704
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:23,282
* Nothing's hotter than a chick
who's good at sports *
705
00:26:23,315 --> 00:26:25,685
* Whoa!
She scored 1,000 points *
706
00:26:25,718 --> 00:26:26,552
* I think I love her
707
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:29,321
* That's a lot of points! *
708
00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:34,961
* Ping-Pong shows that she has
control over her body *
709
00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:38,297
* But it doesn't threaten
my masculinity *
710
00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:41,333
* Like basketball or hockey
711
00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:43,670
* Ping-Pong girl
712
00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:46,305
* She's like Serena or Venus
713
00:26:46,338 --> 00:26:49,175
* Just watching her swing
affects my penis *
714
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:52,912
* You know, us dudes, we love
to talk about our penises *
715
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,013
* Our penises *
716
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:56,048
* Ping-Pong girl
717
00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:57,950
* She's so indifferent
718
00:26:57,984 --> 00:27:00,953
* It makes me want
a tangible commitment *
719
00:27:00,987 --> 00:27:05,124
* She and I should give
a 30-year mortgage a whirl *
720
00:27:05,157 --> 00:27:08,160
* My P-P-Ping-Pong girl
721
00:27:08,194 --> 00:27:11,163
* Girl, girl
722
00:27:11,197 --> 00:27:12,331
* Girl
723
00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:13,900
* Marriage!
724
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:16,402
* Girl, girl
725
00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:20,172
* Let's share a Costco card!
726
00:27:20,206 --> 00:27:22,074
* Girl, gir...
727
00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:23,676
(indistinct chatter)
728
00:27:23,710 --> 00:27:24,811
Up, one,
729
00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:25,544
two, three.
730
00:27:25,577 --> 00:27:28,347
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
731
00:27:28,380 --> 00:27:30,049
One, two, three.
732
00:27:30,082 --> 00:27:31,017
(Ping-Pong ball clacking)
733
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:32,919
Why are all my friends
in love with this girl?
734
00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:40,793
SCOTT:
So she's still working
735
00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,161
on the recommendation?
736
00:27:42,194 --> 00:27:44,030
Uh, yeah. But
I'm... It's okay.
737
00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:45,364
She's gonna get it to me
tonight.
738
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:47,199
I mean, she's got a lot of work
to do, okay?
739
00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:48,367
She's got a lot going on
in her life.
740
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,936
She's busy. I mean,
741
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,871
I shouldn't have asked her
for such a big favor.
742
00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:54,340
What? I don't think
it's such a big favor.
743
00:27:54,373 --> 00:27:56,075
I mean, after everything
you've done for her...
744
00:27:56,108 --> 00:27:58,711
That she didn't ask for.
She did ask you
745
00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:01,147
to throw a rock
through a window and...
Okay, okay.
746
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,816
Look, she's-she's young,
she's confused...
747
00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:06,252
Wow, you are really making
excuses for her.
748
00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:08,788
More than you would
for our kids.
That's 'cause she's better
749
00:28:08,821 --> 00:28:10,456
than our kids, Scott, okay?
750
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:12,859
She didn't pull a knife
on Aunt June, for starters.
751
00:28:12,892 --> 00:28:15,161
Paula, she owes you.
752
00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:16,162
Oh.
753
00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:17,496
Oh. No, no, no, no.
754
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,165
Uh-uh.
She does not owe me, okay?
755
00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:21,734
She is my friend,
and she is busy.
756
00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:23,402
And, you know,
I don't know,
757
00:28:23,435 --> 00:28:26,138
maybe she thinks this whole
law school thing is dumb, okay?
758
00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:27,774
Maybe it is. I'm old.
759
00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:29,275
Maybe-maybe it's too late.
760
00:28:29,308 --> 00:28:31,443
Maybe-maybe this whole thing
is dumb.
761
00:28:31,477 --> 00:28:32,879
It's not dumb!
762
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:35,915
Your dreams
are not dumb.
763
00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:37,817
And I know Rebecca
doesn't think that.
764
00:28:37,850 --> 00:28:40,019
She's a very smart girl.
765
00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:43,155
Ha. Suck my paddle, losers!
All right, let Mama have some.
766
00:28:43,189 --> 00:28:44,356
Okay, no, no, Daddy's
gonna take that one.
767
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:47,026
Okay. All right, all right.
Goldilocks wants some porridge.
768
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:50,329
Okay. Oh...
O-Okay, you got it.
769
00:28:50,362 --> 00:28:52,331
All right.
Okay. Yep.
(Ping-Pong ball clacking)
770
00:28:52,364 --> 00:28:54,834
I thought you said
she was a champion.
771
00:28:54,867 --> 00:28:56,235
She did say she was rusty.
772
00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:57,503
Okay, attaboy! Attaboy, Xiao!
773
00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:59,305
Yeah, yeah. I'm with
him, I'm with him!
774
00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:01,173
Dude, where's Greg?
Yeah.
775
00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:03,475
He should be here by now.
He's probably on his way.
776
00:29:03,509 --> 00:29:04,844
I'll get him a beer.
777
00:29:04,877 --> 00:29:07,146
Dude.
What?
778
00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:08,247
I don't know the rules.
779
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,381
There's one rule.
780
00:29:09,415 --> 00:29:11,784
JOSH:
You guys told Greg
to come here?
781
00:29:11,818 --> 00:29:13,052
Tonight?
782
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:14,186
Why would you do that?
783
00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:15,988
Why do you care?
784
00:29:16,889 --> 00:29:19,792
Oh, my God. You told him?
785
00:29:19,826 --> 00:29:21,060
You told me to tell him.
786
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:21,794
Tell him what?
787
00:29:21,828 --> 00:29:23,362
Josh and Rebecca
are having sex
788
00:29:23,395 --> 00:29:25,932
and basically living together.
What?!
789
00:29:25,965 --> 00:29:27,433
We're not living together.
790
00:29:27,466 --> 00:29:29,301
I'm just crashing
at her apartment.
791
00:29:29,335 --> 00:29:30,436
Okay, you tell yourself that.
792
00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:31,938
Okay. Wait, wait,
wait, wait. Hold up.
793
00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:34,340
So Greg knows that you
and Rebecca are together.
794
00:29:34,373 --> 00:29:35,541
Oh, no.
795
00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:37,910
Greg is probably freaking out.
Is that why he's not here?
796
00:29:37,944 --> 00:29:39,946
He said he was gonna come
here right after his meeting.
797
00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:40,947
He should be here.
798
00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,248
Yeah, where is he?
799
00:29:46,252 --> 00:29:48,821
Your boy never showed
with the donuts.
800
00:29:48,855 --> 00:29:50,823
Shut up, Hubcap.
801
00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,524
You never put the new guy
on donuts.
802
00:29:52,558 --> 00:29:54,260
Yeah, I know.
803
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:56,896
I thought
he could handle it.
804
00:29:58,264 --> 00:30:00,466
Quick question. Let me
just clear something up.
805
00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:04,470
You told Hector about you
and Rebecca and not me?
806
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:06,138
Why?
807
00:30:06,172 --> 00:30:08,107
Uh, you're a little judgy.
808
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:09,241
You're a lot judgy.
809
00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:10,576
You're like Judge Reinhold.
810
00:30:10,609 --> 00:30:11,944
Not a judge.
811
00:30:11,978 --> 00:30:13,112
Guys, I'm really starting
to worry.
812
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:14,246
He said he'd be here.
813
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,115
Drunk or not, Greg is prompt.
814
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,984
So, what do you guys think?
I'm a little rusty
815
00:30:18,017 --> 00:30:20,019
from my Eastern Northern
Seaboard County District days,
816
00:30:20,052 --> 00:30:21,387
but, you know,
it's coming back to me.
817
00:30:21,420 --> 00:30:22,989
It's like riding a bicycle.
What's wrong?
818
00:30:23,022 --> 00:30:25,457
Greg is supposed to be here.
He's late.
819
00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:29,195
And the guys are worried he's
drinking again, because...
820
00:30:29,228 --> 00:30:31,931
well, he's an alcoholic.
821
00:30:31,964 --> 00:30:33,866
I know. I'm not
supposed to tell people,
822
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,601
but this is an emergency.
823
00:30:35,634 --> 00:30:39,471
Uh, okay. What makes
you think he's drinking again?
824
00:30:40,506 --> 00:30:43,876
Because I told him the truth
about you and me.
825
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:45,277
You did what?
826
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:55,621
Josh, you-you told Greg
about us?
827
00:30:55,654 --> 00:30:58,257
Remember, you and I decided
it was wrong to have sex,
828
00:30:58,290 --> 00:31:02,561
because Greg didn't
know about us.
Uh-huh.
829
00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:03,695
So when I found out about
the alcoholic thing,
830
00:31:03,729 --> 00:31:07,499
I decided I was definitely
not gonna tell Greg.
Yeah.
831
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:09,201
And then I told Greg.
832
00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:11,037
Oh.
833
00:31:11,070 --> 00:31:12,939
Okay, um...
834
00:31:12,972 --> 00:31:14,340
How did he take it?
835
00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:15,507
Guess not great,
836
00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:17,309
'cause he's disappeared.
837
00:31:17,343 --> 00:31:19,178
Yeah. Good job,
you horny monsters.
838
00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:20,579
Oh, I'm sorry.
839
00:31:20,612 --> 00:31:21,948
That sound judgy?
840
00:31:21,981 --> 00:31:23,182
Good.
841
00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:24,583
Just, not now, Chiphunk.
842
00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:25,551
Chiphunk?
843
00:31:25,584 --> 00:31:27,954
She thinks you look like
a giant buff chipmunk.
844
00:31:27,987 --> 00:31:29,321
I'll take it.
845
00:31:29,355 --> 00:31:31,490
Okay, maybe we're overreacting.
Maybe Greg's fine.
846
00:31:31,523 --> 00:31:32,758
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
847
00:31:32,791 --> 00:31:34,493
He said he was fine,
like, ten times.
WHITE JOSH: Guys, guys.
848
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:35,995
You know that when
Greg says he's fine,
849
00:31:36,028 --> 00:31:37,296
that's when he's not fine.
850
00:31:37,329 --> 00:31:39,265
You know that.
HECTOR:
Maybe they're right.
851
00:31:39,298 --> 00:31:40,599
Maybe Greg is fine.
852
00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:42,668
He'll just have a few
and sleep it off.
853
00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:44,403
One rule!
854
00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:46,672
Oh! That's the rule!
855
00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:48,140
Okay. Yeah.
856
00:31:48,174 --> 00:31:49,608
We should definitely
find him right now.
857
00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:51,243
Home Base is closed.
858
00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:54,213
So if he's out there getting
messed up and drinking again,
859
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,615
he won't be there.
I could try the beer
garden on East Cameron.
860
00:31:56,648 --> 00:31:58,184
I'll try the gastropub
on East Cameron.
861
00:31:58,217 --> 00:32:00,352
Should we carpool?
Smart.
862
00:32:00,386 --> 00:32:01,988
Okay, okay.
And where should I go?
863
00:32:02,021 --> 00:32:03,222
A-a-and where should I go?
WHITE JOSH: No!
864
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:04,690
Not you two.
865
00:32:04,723 --> 00:32:06,158
You stay away.
866
00:32:07,226 --> 00:32:09,361
(sighs)
867
00:32:09,395 --> 00:32:11,630
Well, I can stay here
in case he shows up.
868
00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:13,399
That's smart.
Thanks.
869
00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:15,167
I was a Boy Scout for years.
870
00:32:15,201 --> 00:32:17,436
I've got to go find him.
I-I can't stay here.
871
00:32:17,469 --> 00:32:19,105
Well, how are you gonna do that?
872
00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:23,675
Paula, thank you so much
for helping me find Greg.
873
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:25,644
PAULA:
And voilá!
874
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:27,246
Wow!
875
00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:30,082
Intuition.
876
00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:50,469
What are you doing here?
877
00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:54,640
Everyone's looking for you.
878
00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:56,208
Not me.
879
00:32:56,242 --> 00:32:57,576
I wasn't looking for you.
880
00:32:57,609 --> 00:32:59,511
I just like ducks.
881
00:33:03,215 --> 00:33:08,720
Look, I know you know
about me and Josh.
882
00:33:08,754 --> 00:33:12,258
I'm sorry you found out
the way you did.
883
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:14,093
Um...
884
00:33:14,126 --> 00:33:17,029
I wanted to tell you myself,
885
00:33:17,063 --> 00:33:20,632
but I didn't know
where you were.
886
00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:22,734
I got a single text from you
887
00:33:22,768 --> 00:33:26,738
and then you disappeared
for a month.
888
00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:29,708
Yeah.
889
00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,610
I was embarrassed.
890
00:33:31,643 --> 00:33:35,047
I'm sure you heard.
891
00:33:35,081 --> 00:33:37,249
DUI, alcoholic,
blah, blah, blah.
892
00:33:37,283 --> 00:33:38,517
I heard. Yeah.
893
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:41,353
I'm... I'm sorry.
894
00:33:42,788 --> 00:33:45,224
I really have been
doing a lot better.
895
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:50,229
But then I heard
about you and Chan.
896
00:33:50,262 --> 00:33:53,232
And... you had a drink?
897
00:33:53,265 --> 00:33:55,734
No, no. I didn't.
I wanted to.
898
00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:57,736
I thought about it.
I almost did.
899
00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,805
I picked out a drink,
900
00:33:59,838 --> 00:34:03,109
and a glass, and ice.
901
00:34:03,142 --> 00:34:07,613
And instead,
I hit a wall.
902
00:34:07,646 --> 00:34:09,481
Literally.
(gasps)
903
00:34:09,515 --> 00:34:10,849
Punched the hell
out of a wall.
Oh, my God.
904
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,218
Oh, ouch.
Yeah.
905
00:34:12,251 --> 00:34:13,352
No, no. I'm okay.
906
00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:15,154
It's actually good.
907
00:34:15,187 --> 00:34:19,258
At least I didn't use alcohol
to block an emotion.
908
00:34:22,494 --> 00:34:24,796
Look.
909
00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:27,266
At... the night of the wedding,
910
00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:30,136
you completely broke my heart,
911
00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:33,805
but that's no excuse
for me to be sleeping
912
00:34:33,839 --> 00:34:36,775
with your best friend,
and I'm so sorry.
913
00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:39,445
I don't need an
apology from you.
914
00:34:39,478 --> 00:34:43,282
Rebecca, when I first
met you, I said,
915
00:34:43,315 --> 00:34:47,119
"You're ignoring me, so
you're obviously my type."
916
00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:49,555
I picked you because you
weren't interested in me.
917
00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:52,124
(laughs)
918
00:34:52,158 --> 00:34:54,260
That's funny, because
by the end of the wedding,
919
00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:55,827
you weren't interested in me.
920
00:34:55,861 --> 00:34:57,263
The funny thing is,
921
00:34:57,296 --> 00:35:01,200
and not "ha-ha"
funny, sad funny,
922
00:35:01,233 --> 00:35:05,871
the reason I got a DUI was
because I was driving over
923
00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:08,807
the next morning to tell
you that I loved you.
924
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:13,145
But I blew my shot.
925
00:35:13,179 --> 00:35:16,215
And that's my fault.
926
00:35:16,248 --> 00:35:19,151
Life went on
without me, and...
927
00:35:19,185 --> 00:35:22,488
You and Josh...
928
00:35:22,521 --> 00:35:25,157
You should be
happy together.
929
00:35:25,191 --> 00:35:26,625
You're happy, right?
930
00:35:26,658 --> 00:35:29,495
And he treats you well?
931
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,397
Um...
932
00:35:31,430 --> 00:35:33,432
Yes.
933
00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:37,803
Then everything worked out fine.
934
00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:42,308
Wow. You're like...
935
00:35:42,341 --> 00:35:45,844
you're like this new
enlightened person.
936
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,580
Not really; not yet.
937
00:35:48,614 --> 00:35:50,649
Someday, I hope.
(chuckles)
938
00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:54,186
Hey! Rebecca.
939
00:35:54,220 --> 00:35:56,188
Sorry. I need
a ride back to Torrance.
940
00:35:56,222 --> 00:35:58,857
Yeah. Hold on a second.
941
00:35:58,890 --> 00:36:01,227
Greg, this is Xiao.
Hi.
942
00:36:01,260 --> 00:36:02,794
We are wearing
matching outfits...
943
00:36:02,828 --> 00:36:04,396
Oh, no, no.
I don't...
944
00:36:04,430 --> 00:36:05,731
I-I don't need to know.
It's fine.
945
00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:06,765
Hi.
Hi.
946
00:36:13,972 --> 00:36:15,707
Here's the letter
you asked for.
947
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,943
I should have written it
the second you asked for it,
948
00:36:17,976 --> 00:36:19,978
so please forgive me
949
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,947
and my garbage self.
950
00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:25,284
Oh, Rebecca.
951
00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:28,520
You know that I thought for
a second, maybe you thought,
952
00:36:28,554 --> 00:36:30,922
that me going to law school
was ridiculous.
953
00:36:30,956 --> 00:36:32,658
What?
954
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:33,825
No.
955
00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:35,727
No, no... Oh, no.
956
00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:38,697
I'm so sorry that you-you
thought that for even a second.
957
00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:42,801
Paula, you are so brave.
958
00:36:42,834 --> 00:36:46,505
I had a conversation
with someone recently--
959
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:47,973
it was Greg,
it was last night,
960
00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:50,309
it was at a duck pond--
961
00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:55,281
and it made me realize that
changing your life is hard
962
00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:58,284
and you deserve support.
963
00:36:58,317 --> 00:37:00,352
I-I want to be there for you.
964
00:37:03,855 --> 00:37:05,791
Don't read it in front of me;
I'll get embarrassed.
965
00:37:05,824 --> 00:37:08,494
Oh, my God.
This is so sweet.
966
00:37:08,527 --> 00:37:09,795
Oh!
967
00:37:09,828 --> 00:37:11,463
Oh, the part...
968
00:37:11,497 --> 00:37:12,831
It's true.
It's all true.
969
00:37:12,864 --> 00:37:14,866
You're the greatest person
I've ever met.
970
00:37:16,402 --> 00:37:18,670
Cookie.
Oh!
971
00:37:18,704 --> 00:37:20,739
This is a beautiful letter,
972
00:37:20,772 --> 00:37:22,474
and I will,
973
00:37:22,508 --> 00:37:24,343
I will treasure it forever.
974
00:37:25,477 --> 00:37:27,713
But I had to turn in
Darryl's letter
975
00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:29,748
because he gave
it to me on time.
Oh, my God.
976
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:31,850
I'm so sorry.
You know what?
Don't be.
977
00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:35,587
His letter was not terrible.
978
00:37:35,621 --> 00:37:37,923
Best friends
for life.
979
00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:40,459
(clattering)
980
00:37:46,465 --> 00:37:48,734
What the hell are these?
981
00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:51,603
These are the most expensive
donuts in the city.
982
00:37:51,637 --> 00:37:54,005
Gourmet donuts from the
new place on East Cameron.
983
00:37:54,039 --> 00:37:56,041
(sighs)
We like our usual place.
984
00:37:56,074 --> 00:37:58,977
And you got one
dinosaur-shaped donut?
985
00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:01,046
What are we supposed to do
with that, fight over it?
986
00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:02,781
I was trying to make it up
to you.
987
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:05,617
Next time, just get
what you're supposed to get.
988
00:38:05,651 --> 00:38:08,487
Better yet, just show up.
989
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,556
I think I can do that.
990
00:38:10,589 --> 00:38:12,358
I hope I can.
991
00:38:12,391 --> 00:38:16,027
Now, let's split this adorable
dinosaur before people see it.
992
00:38:16,061 --> 00:38:18,497
Oh, you get the butt.
993
00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,765
Yeah.
994
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:22,768
(lasers shooting in game)
995
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,470
So he wasn't getting drunk.
996
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:28,540
He was just sitting there
on a bench with a box of donuts?
997
00:38:28,574 --> 00:38:31,443
Yeah. He was fine.
998
00:38:31,477 --> 00:38:33,479
He was great, actually.
999
00:38:33,512 --> 00:38:37,449
He's like-- he's learning to
process things differently.
1000
00:38:37,483 --> 00:38:40,386
He actually seemed like
he was in a great place.
1001
00:38:40,419 --> 00:38:41,787
Oh, whew.
1002
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,055
Man, I am so relieved.
1003
00:38:44,089 --> 00:38:45,691
That is so good.
1004
00:38:45,724 --> 00:38:47,058
So, uh, hey.
1005
00:38:47,092 --> 00:38:48,794
It-it all kind of worked out.
1006
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:50,028
Totally.
1007
00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:51,029
Hey, you said
you love video games.
1008
00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:52,030
Do you want to get in here?
1009
00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:54,099
Um, I'm not feeling
1010
00:38:54,132 --> 00:38:56,535
the video games right now.
1011
00:38:56,568 --> 00:38:58,069
Actually, I lied to you.
1012
00:38:58,103 --> 00:38:59,938
I don't,
I don't like video games.
1013
00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:02,474
Just like you lied
about Ping-Pong?
1014
00:39:02,508 --> 00:39:05,110
(laughing):
What was that about?
1015
00:39:06,412 --> 00:39:09,948
I was trying to spend time
with you, Josh.
1016
00:39:09,981 --> 00:39:12,684
That's what the whole stupid
Ping-Pong thing was about.
1017
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:14,720
(sighs)
1018
00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:16,888
You know what, Josh?
You live here.
1019
00:39:16,922 --> 00:39:19,491
You do, and you can tell
yourself whatever,
1020
00:39:19,525 --> 00:39:23,462
but I deserve to be with someone
who treats me well.
1021
00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:25,897
Okay.
1022
00:39:25,931 --> 00:39:27,999
Wow.
1023
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,736
Yeah. Whew. Wow.
1024
00:39:30,769 --> 00:39:31,837
Okay, yeah.
1025
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,705
Yeah.
1026
00:39:33,739 --> 00:39:35,607
(sighs)
1027
00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:50,155
*
1028
00:40:10,509 --> 00:40:13,479
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
1029
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:16,482
And TOYOTA
1030
00:40:16,515 --> 00:40:18,517
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
1031
00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:22,621
Oh. Hi, ma'am.
1032
00:40:22,654 --> 00:40:23,722
Ma'am, excuse me.
You're on the ball.
1033
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:26,191
Just... no, it's right...
Okay, so just move your foot
1034
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,794
(laughing):
this way-- this shouldn't
be this hard; this is funny.
1035
00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:31,196
Okay, no. Your skirt
is just so voluminous.
1036
00:40:31,229 --> 00:40:33,164
It's like you're
in the 18th century.
1037
00:40:33,198 --> 00:40:34,500
I don't even know where
the ball is any...
1038
00:40:34,533 --> 00:40:36,635
Oh! Okay. You kicked it.
1039
00:40:36,668 --> 00:40:37,869
Also, you're not wearing
any underwear.
1040
00:40:37,903 --> 00:40:38,970
Have a great day.
Okay.
1041
00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:40,839
Oh.
1042
00:40:41,807 --> 00:40:43,542
Hi. Sir, sir.
1043
00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:45,076
So... Oh!
There's her underwear.
73370
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