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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:11,841 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,709 Sorry about that. What do I owe you? 3 00:00:48,002 --> 00:00:50,292 Uh, 22.42. 4 00:00:50,294 --> 00:00:51,594 For one pizza? 5 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,875 ( laughs ) By God. 6 00:00:53,877 --> 00:00:55,837 Better be goddamn delicious. 7 00:00:55,835 --> 00:00:58,205 Um, one second. 8 00:01:04,336 --> 00:01:07,206 Come on, wallet. 9 00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:10,671 I'm sorry, you could come in and shut the door. It's freezing out there. 10 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,212 ( sighs ) I'm sorry. Stupid wallet. What's your name? 11 00:01:27,211 --> 00:01:29,461 - Jarod. - Jarod. 12 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:32,500 I am such a nincompoop. ( chuckles ) 13 00:01:32,502 --> 00:01:36,292 So, you probably got, like, a hundred pizzas in the car that need delivering, right? 14 00:01:39,086 --> 00:01:42,836 Uh, no, it's fine. Just, you know, need to get back when I can. 15 00:01:42,835 --> 00:01:45,665 Man: Right. Come on, wallet. No! 16 00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:51,588 Wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet! 17 00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:53,745 Ah, two seconds. 18 00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:55,962 Make yourself at home. 19 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,090 Um... 20 00:02:20,211 --> 00:02:21,921 Got it! All right. 21 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,499 22-something-- son of a... 22 00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:27,455 - ( sighs ) - Oop. 23 00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:29,670 Perfect time to run out of cash, right? 24 00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:32,168 Look at me wasting your time. The prime of your youth. 25 00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:35,419 Sending you on a wild goose chase for dollars that don't exist. 26 00:02:35,418 --> 00:02:36,958 - It's fine. - Man: Honey. 27 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,000 - Is everything okay? - Yeah. Do you have any cash? 28 00:02:39,002 --> 00:02:41,132 - You know I don't carry cash. - I know you don't carry cash. 29 00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:44,457 Why would you carry cash when you just take it from my wallet whenever you need it? 30 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,710 Um, all right, Jarod, here's the deal. 31 00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,040 There's a cash machine down the street. 32 00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:51,004 I will be back in four minutes, five tops. 33 00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:53,002 It's all right, you can trust me. 34 00:02:53,002 --> 00:02:55,172 I'll even leave my wife as collateral, all right? 35 00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:58,129 Um, you know, you can just call a credit card in. 36 00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:01,037 No, no, no, that's silly 'cause then they tax your tip 37 00:03:01,044 --> 00:03:02,344 'cause you have to declare it. 38 00:03:02,336 --> 00:03:03,996 Believe me, I know the drill. 39 00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:05,842 - I'll be right back. - It's really not that-- 40 00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:07,835 honestly, the card... ( clears throat ) 41 00:03:09,377 --> 00:03:11,667 Woman: Can I get your help with something? 42 00:03:16,002 --> 00:03:17,672 Sure. 43 00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:19,998 In here. 44 00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:38,042 Do you like this dress? 45 00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:43,165 Uh, yes. 46 00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:45,629 ( chuckles ) That rhymes. 47 00:03:45,627 --> 00:03:48,037 - What-- what rhymes? - Yes, dress. 48 00:03:48,044 --> 00:03:49,844 Oh, yeah, mm-hmm. 49 00:03:49,835 --> 00:03:52,205 Yeah, it does, huh? ( inhales ) 50 00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:56,207 Did you prefer the other one? 51 00:03:58,418 --> 00:04:02,378 - What? - Did you like the other dress I was wearing before 52 00:04:02,377 --> 00:04:03,877 better than this one? 53 00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:08,037 Which-- which dress? 54 00:04:15,752 --> 00:04:17,592 You know, this one. 55 00:04:21,752 --> 00:04:23,422 ( exhales ) 56 00:04:23,418 --> 00:04:26,878 I, uh-- I don't know. ( sniffs ) 57 00:04:26,877 --> 00:04:28,957 You don't know? 58 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,130 Because you've never seen it on me before? 59 00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:37,957 Or because you were looking at my breasts when I took it off 60 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,670 and you didn't focus on the dress? ( chuckles ) 61 00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:43,918 - ( chuckles ) - That rhymes, too. 62 00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:47,419 - Breasts, dress. - Yes. ( chuckles ) 63 00:04:47,418 --> 00:04:49,248 Well, which is it? 64 00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:52,924 What? 65 00:04:54,543 --> 00:04:56,383 Okay, that's all I needed. 66 00:04:56,377 --> 00:04:57,747 You can go now. 67 00:05:00,877 --> 00:05:02,837 If you want. 68 00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:08,417 ( stammers ) 69 00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:09,838 ( clears throat ) 70 00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,747 ( exhales ) 71 00:05:13,919 --> 00:05:16,419 I'm gonna try on a third dress, 72 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,338 but this time, no peeking. 73 00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:21,087 Okay. 74 00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:22,746 - I said no peeking. - I'm not! 75 00:05:22,752 --> 00:05:24,962 Ho dare you look at me. Look away! 76 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,250 - I am! - Jarod! 77 00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:30,710 That's better. 78 00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:34,090 So long as you're not looking, 79 00:05:34,086 --> 00:05:35,626 it's okay. 80 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,170 ( door closes ) 81 00:05:55,294 --> 00:05:56,884 Do you want some of that pizza? 82 00:05:56,877 --> 00:05:58,917 No, thanks. 83 00:05:58,919 --> 00:06:00,879 We're not gonna eat it, so. 84 00:06:04,919 --> 00:06:07,039 If you're-- if you're not gonna eat it, 85 00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:10,134 why did you order it? 86 00:06:10,127 --> 00:06:12,997 - ( chuckles ) That's a good question. - ( music playing on phone ) 87 00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:17,207 It's not that I don't like pizza. 88 00:06:21,002 --> 00:06:22,252 I love it. 89 00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:25,594 It's just... 90 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,590 when all you ever have is pizza... 91 00:06:31,044 --> 00:06:32,924 you get tired of it. 92 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,337 Makes you want something new. 93 00:06:37,502 --> 00:06:39,002 Something different. 94 00:06:45,294 --> 00:06:47,884 And your-- your husband, 95 00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:50,377 how does he feel about pizza? 96 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:54,837 I don't think Scott's been hungry in a long, long time. 97 00:06:54,835 --> 00:06:56,205 In fact... 98 00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,210 I don't think Scott would notice 99 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,751 if a nice piece of pizza came right up and bit him. 100 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,090 ( chuckles ) 101 00:07:07,336 --> 00:07:10,916 Must be weird delivering pizza to all these strange people. 102 00:07:12,252 --> 00:07:14,462 Sometimes. 103 00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:18,130 Have you ever had any strange encounters? 104 00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:25,418 Not really. 105 00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:29,378 Well, I have a hard time believing that. 106 00:07:29,377 --> 00:07:31,537 A guy like you... 107 00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:35,418 Have you ever served pizza 108 00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:40,038 to, say, a woman like me before? 109 00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:48,294 I-- I mean, I've served pizza before. 110 00:07:48,294 --> 00:07:50,174 You have? 111 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:52,499 Yeah. Yeah, of course, yeah. 112 00:07:52,502 --> 00:07:54,502 How many times? 113 00:07:54,502 --> 00:07:57,292 Sure, uh... ( clears throat ) 114 00:07:59,294 --> 00:08:02,134 A bunch. A bunch of times. 115 00:08:03,794 --> 00:08:06,134 Interesting. 116 00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:08,037 Experienced. 117 00:08:08,044 --> 00:08:09,964 Yeah, a bunch of times. 118 00:08:11,377 --> 00:08:13,917 You haven't answered my question. 119 00:08:13,919 --> 00:08:14,959 What question? 120 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,380 Have you ever served pizza 121 00:08:18,377 --> 00:08:20,917 to a woman like me before? 122 00:08:27,169 --> 00:08:28,999 No, ma'am. 123 00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,627 So, here we are. 124 00:08:33,794 --> 00:08:36,044 So hungry. 125 00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,875 ( exhales ) 126 00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:44,668 Are you gonna bring me that pizza or what? 127 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,290 I want that pizza, Jarod. 128 00:08:52,418 --> 00:08:54,338 I ordered that pizza, 129 00:08:54,336 --> 00:08:57,666 and now I'm ordering you to bring me that pizza. 130 00:09:56,627 --> 00:09:58,457 - ( door thuds ) - Whew! 131 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:01,130 - ( door closes ) - Damn, it is cold out there. 132 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,250 Colder than a witch's titty. 133 00:10:04,252 --> 00:10:08,042 Man! But I got it. 134 00:10:08,044 --> 00:10:12,594 22-something and a huge tip for Jarod! 135 00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:15,785 Could you have taken any longer, Scott? 136 00:10:15,794 --> 00:10:17,384 What? 137 00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:19,957 Wait, Jennifer, where are you-- where are you-- 138 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,630 Jen, come back. 139 00:10:21,627 --> 00:10:23,087 Don't! 140 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:29,502 - What did I say? - ( blows raspberry ) 141 00:10:29,502 --> 00:10:31,502 Jeez, I went to the ATM. What...? 142 00:10:33,752 --> 00:10:37,172 I mean... ( sighs ) 143 00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:39,839 ( scoffing ) 144 00:10:45,794 --> 00:10:47,254 Women, huh? 145 00:10:49,002 --> 00:10:52,002 ( sighs ) You can't live with 'em... 146 00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:53,792 Pass the Beer Nuts. 147 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,170 You got a girlfriend, Jarod? 148 00:11:05,377 --> 00:11:06,957 Uh, no, thanks. 149 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,670 I-- I really gotta get back to work. 150 00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:12,038 Yeah. ( chuckles ) 151 00:11:12,044 --> 00:11:16,004 You two sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself. 152 00:11:16,002 --> 00:11:20,172 It's like I come in, two seconds, you're both running out 153 00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:22,169 quicker than two shakes of a lamb's tail. 154 00:11:24,794 --> 00:11:26,424 I'm-- I'm sorry. It's not personal. 155 00:11:26,418 --> 00:11:28,038 I just really gotta get back to work. 156 00:11:28,044 --> 00:11:30,344 I'm kidding. It's fine. 157 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,340 ( sighs ) It's fine. 158 00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:40,789 ( clears throat ) 159 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:46,837 I do kind of need the money for the pizza. 160 00:11:46,835 --> 00:11:49,495 ( chuckles ) 161 00:11:49,502 --> 00:11:52,092 Yes, money. 162 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,246 22-something, plus a tip, 163 00:11:54,252 --> 00:11:56,422 which should be sizable 164 00:11:56,418 --> 00:11:59,588 - considering we've been wasting your time lollygagging. - ( phone chimes ) 165 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,665 No, it's no problem. Don't sweat it. ( sniffs ) 166 00:12:02,668 --> 00:12:05,588 Ah, a text from Jennifer. 167 00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:08,035 Probably apologizing as we speak. 168 00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:10,381 Great. 169 00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:21,542 How big of a tip were you expecting, Jarod? 170 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,337 Excuse me? 171 00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:28,540 Just curious what you think I should tip you. 172 00:12:29,877 --> 00:12:33,917 Just whatever you think is appropriate is fine. 173 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,209 Well, I guess I don't-- I don't know what's customary-- 174 00:12:36,211 --> 00:12:39,041 - 10%, 20%? - Sure, yeah, either one. 175 00:12:39,044 --> 00:12:41,544 That'd-- that'd be great. Thank you. 176 00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:47,792 I guess it would help if I understood what services you performed 177 00:12:47,794 --> 00:12:49,674 so that I can get the amount right. 178 00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:53,418 I delivered the pizza. 179 00:12:53,418 --> 00:12:55,288 What kind of pizza? 180 00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:01,253 - ( swallows ) The meat lovers. - Right, meat lovers. 181 00:13:01,252 --> 00:13:03,042 Right. 182 00:13:03,044 --> 00:13:05,884 Did you provide any services for my wife while I was gone? 183 00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,708 - Not really. - Really? 184 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,091 Nothing? 185 00:13:16,794 --> 00:13:19,134 Uh... no. 186 00:13:19,127 --> 00:13:22,127 'Cause it would seem to me that the pizza, 187 00:13:22,127 --> 00:13:24,287 which was on the table when I left, 188 00:13:24,294 --> 00:13:27,134 is now... ( whistles ) 189 00:13:27,127 --> 00:13:30,337 on the bed instead. 190 00:13:30,336 --> 00:13:31,786 Huh. 191 00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,254 I guess... 192 00:13:33,252 --> 00:13:36,292 - that is-- - Hey, that rhymes. 193 00:13:38,211 --> 00:13:40,841 Instead, bed. 194 00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:49,293 Did you deliver the meat lovers to my wife on that bed? 195 00:13:52,086 --> 00:13:52,956 Sort of. 196 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:55,838 Sort of? 197 00:13:59,336 --> 00:14:01,536 Jarod, I am no expert in what you do, 198 00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:03,423 but it would seem to me 199 00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:08,128 either you did or did not serve my wife the meat lover 200 00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:10,037 on that bed. 201 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:17,250 Gosh, I have gotta get back to work. 202 00:14:17,252 --> 00:14:21,002 - I got so many others to deliver. - That would not be fair. 203 00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:23,962 I wanna pay you for your services, 204 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,920 I just need to know what they were 205 00:14:25,919 --> 00:14:27,959 so that I can give you the proper tip. 206 00:14:31,502 --> 00:14:34,342 - Can I just go home? - Not until I tip you. 207 00:14:34,336 --> 00:14:36,666 ( exhales ) 208 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,288 - All right. - ( stammering ) 209 00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,504 Let me put it this way-- 210 00:14:41,502 --> 00:14:44,252 how many times did you fuck my wife? 211 00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:49,415 Oh-- oh, my gosh, sir. I-- I did not. 212 00:14:49,418 --> 00:14:52,628 - I would never. - What-- what are you saying, my wife is ugly? 213 00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:54,497 - No, no. - So, you're saying she's hot? 214 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,342 No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. 215 00:14:56,336 --> 00:14:58,336 So, you just fuck anything, then, right? Is that your deal? 216 00:14:58,336 --> 00:15:01,666 You just go around delivering meat lovers pizzas willy-nilly wherever you go? 217 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,538 No, no, no, I did not say that. 218 00:15:03,543 --> 00:15:05,093 - Didn't do it a second time? - I didn't do a first time. 219 00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:06,586 - Why not? She didn't ask you? - No. 220 00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:07,835 So, she asked you to fuck her? 221 00:15:07,835 --> 00:15:10,375 Just give me the number, Jarod. 222 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,337 - Jarod! - I didn't touch her! Ah! 223 00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:14,166 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! 224 00:15:14,169 --> 00:15:16,539 Help! Help! Ow! 225 00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:18,713 ( grunting ) Help! 226 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,959 ( whimpering ) 227 00:15:25,086 --> 00:15:26,336 Ah! 228 00:15:26,336 --> 00:15:27,956 ( grunting ) 229 00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:30,714 Help! Help! 230 00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:33,880 Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. ( panting ) 231 00:15:33,877 --> 00:15:36,207 ( groaning ) 232 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,750 No, no, no! 233 00:15:44,585 --> 00:15:45,455 ( grunts ) 234 00:15:48,752 --> 00:15:51,042 ( exhales ) 235 00:15:51,044 --> 00:15:53,424 - ( chimes ) - ( music playing over stereo ) 236 00:15:55,086 --> 00:15:57,746 ( panting ) 237 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,880 Relax, Jarod. 238 00:16:03,418 --> 00:16:04,788 Relax. 239 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,594 I'm not gonna hurt you. 240 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,170 In fact, I like you. ( chuckles ) 241 00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:14,709 I mean, that's the whole "you know" of it all 242 00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:18,290 is I liked you from the second I opened that door. 243 00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:19,594 So... 244 00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:23,594 I'm gonna make it easy on you. 245 00:16:26,294 --> 00:16:28,634 Either you tell me 246 00:16:28,627 --> 00:16:32,587 the number of times you fucked my wife, 247 00:16:32,585 --> 00:16:33,665 or... 248 00:16:35,919 --> 00:16:38,999 I'm gonna beat the living shit out of you. 249 00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:41,252 Oh, my God. 250 00:16:41,252 --> 00:16:42,792 Hmm? 251 00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:45,504 ♪ Ain't no two ways about it... ♪ 252 00:16:45,502 --> 00:16:47,502 - Need that number, Jarod. - ( whimpers ) Oh, my God. 253 00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:49,842 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Why are you-- please stop. 254 00:16:49,835 --> 00:16:52,285 Just give me that number. I will give you your 22-something, 255 00:16:52,294 --> 00:16:53,544 plus your fair tip. 256 00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:55,003 There's no number, there's no number. 257 00:16:55,002 --> 00:16:57,382 Help! Help, help! 258 00:16:57,377 --> 00:16:59,497 - I will untie you... - Help! 259 00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:02,672 - ...and you can go back to work. - Help! Help! 260 00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:04,878 - Help! Oh, my God. - ( imitates whip ) 261 00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:08,129 - Partner. - No, no! Ow! 262 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,957 - ( gasps ) - Huh? 263 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,790 - I didn't, I didn't, I didn't! - I need that number, Jarod. 264 00:17:12,794 --> 00:17:14,964 There's no number! I swear, I didn't touch her! 265 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,210 I didn't touch her. I didn't touch her. 266 00:17:16,211 --> 00:17:17,671 I didn't touch her! None! 267 00:17:17,668 --> 00:17:19,588 I didn't do it! I didn't touch her! 268 00:17:19,585 --> 00:17:22,165 ( crying ) I didn't touch her. I didn't touch her. 269 00:17:22,169 --> 00:17:24,039 ( panting ) 270 00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:29,747 I'm not gonna get mad, okay? 271 00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:31,382 I'm not. 272 00:17:31,377 --> 00:17:32,997 I'm not gonna get mad. 273 00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,877 ( gasps ) 274 00:17:36,877 --> 00:17:38,957 How many times? 275 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,460 - ( shudders ) - ( door opens ) 276 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,920 What are you doing? 277 00:17:42,919 --> 00:17:44,879 - Ah, there she is. - Help! 278 00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:47,377 - Why is he tied up? - He told me everything. 279 00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:49,837 - What are you talking about? - Don't you play dumb with me, woman. 280 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,535 I know about the sucking and the fucking 281 00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:54,633 and the long distance trucking. 282 00:17:54,627 --> 00:17:56,287 The whole shebang, Mama Joe! 283 00:17:56,294 --> 00:17:58,214 Help! Help! Untie me. He's gone crazy! 284 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,711 - Oh, I'm crazy? - Yeah! 285 00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:02,040 I leave the room for seven fucking minutes 286 00:18:02,044 --> 00:18:04,174 - and this is what happens... - Scott. 287 00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:06,669 - ...and I'm the crazy one. - This is insane. Let him go. 288 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,918 - ( music stops ) - Jarod: You gotta call the police! 289 00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,339 Help! 290 00:18:10,336 --> 00:18:12,416 Shh, all right. 291 00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:14,748 ( panting ) 292 00:18:16,585 --> 00:18:19,085 ( exhales, inhales ) 293 00:18:19,086 --> 00:18:21,956 - I will let him go. - Thank you. 294 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,380 ( sighs ) 295 00:18:24,752 --> 00:18:26,672 But first, 296 00:18:26,668 --> 00:18:28,668 - I will take down his pants... - No! 297 00:18:28,668 --> 00:18:30,588 - No! Help! - ...assuming his meat lover 298 00:18:30,585 --> 00:18:32,245 - doesn't smell like your meat lover... - Help! 299 00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:34,792 - ...I will let him go. - Stop it! Enough! 300 00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:40,422 - ( exhales ) Thank you. - You told him about us? 301 00:18:40,418 --> 00:18:41,378 What? 302 00:18:41,377 --> 00:18:43,037 How could you? 303 00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:45,094 Jarod: I didn't-- I didn't say anything. 304 00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:47,876 That was special. That was just for us. 305 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,167 I didn't-- I didn't say a word. I didn't tell him anything. 306 00:18:50,169 --> 00:18:52,459 - He's right, he didn't. - There's nothing to tell! 307 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,000 - I figured it out. - Oh, my God. 308 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,792 - I knew it. - What do you expect, Scott? 309 00:18:56,794 --> 00:19:00,294 I expected you to honor our marriage vows 310 00:19:00,294 --> 00:19:02,924 and not fuck the first pizza boy who came through the door! 311 00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:04,789 - You drove me to him! - What?! 312 00:19:04,794 --> 00:19:07,634 - But nothing happened! - I go to Pilates, I do yoga! 313 00:19:07,627 --> 00:19:11,127 - What? ( scoffs ) - I even went to that goddamn facialist you recommended. 314 00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:13,957 - Again with the facialist! - And you give me nothing! 315 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,040 You look at me like a used veneer 316 00:19:18,044 --> 00:19:21,294 pine IKEA desk from craigslist! 317 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,004 Okay, Scott, Scott, nothing happened, I swear. 318 00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:26,632 - You goddamn slut. - You selfish son of a bitch. 319 00:19:26,627 --> 00:19:28,707 My mother told me I was marrying a whore! 320 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:31,380 - You treat me like dirt! - Showing your titties all over town! 321 00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:33,997 Now I'm gonna make you pay for it! ( grunts ) 322 00:19:34,002 --> 00:19:37,002 Okay, everybody just needs to calm down. 323 00:19:37,002 --> 00:19:39,542 - ( screams ) - ( both grunting ) 324 00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:41,423 Guys. Guys! 325 00:19:41,418 --> 00:19:43,458 Help! Somebody help! 326 00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:46,380 - ( Jennifer gasps ) - There's one of those slutty titties. 327 00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:47,787 See that, Jarod? Huh? 328 00:19:47,794 --> 00:19:49,384 - Wanna see the other one? - No. No. 329 00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:51,337 - No! - ( Jennifer grunts ) 330 00:19:51,336 --> 00:19:52,996 - ( laughing ) - Oh, God. 331 00:19:53,002 --> 00:19:54,502 - Oh, God. - There they are. 332 00:19:54,502 --> 00:19:55,672 Look at 'em. 333 00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:56,838 - Remember these, huh? - No! 334 00:19:56,835 --> 00:19:58,245 Remember when you fondled these titties 335 00:19:58,252 --> 00:19:59,502 and broke my fragile heart? 336 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,342 I never fondled any titties. Help! 337 00:20:01,336 --> 00:20:03,376 It's 'cause you wanted Scott all along, isn't it, Jarod? 338 00:20:03,377 --> 00:20:04,837 - Help! Wait. - That's right. 339 00:20:04,835 --> 00:20:06,875 You used me to get to Scott, didn't you? 340 00:20:06,877 --> 00:20:08,667 - No! - Scott: Yeah! 341 00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:11,918 - Yeah, that's right. - He used you to get to me. 342 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:12,879 That's what happened. 343 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,709 - Jennifer: Yeah. - Help! Help! 344 00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:18,290 - Jarod: No! - ( grunts ) 345 00:20:18,294 --> 00:20:20,044 - ( whimpers ) - Over here, Jarod. 346 00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,884 - It's what you wanted. - Scott: Look over here. 347 00:20:21,877 --> 00:20:23,627 - Here's your tip, meat lover. - No, thanks. 348 00:20:23,627 --> 00:20:25,087 - Look at me. - Look at us, Jarod. 349 00:20:25,086 --> 00:20:26,836 - Look at Daddy. - Help! Somebody help! 350 00:20:26,835 --> 00:20:29,415 - Look at Mommy! Oh, my God! - Please help! 351 00:20:29,418 --> 00:20:30,878 - Both: Oh, God! - Oh, God. 352 00:20:30,877 --> 00:20:32,287 - Oh, God! - ( moans ) 353 00:20:32,294 --> 00:20:33,964 - ( moaning ) - Oh, God, oh, God! 354 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,540 Oh, God! Oh, God! 355 00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,590 ( music playing ) 356 00:21:12,086 --> 00:21:15,626 That was not half bad for your first time. 357 00:21:15,627 --> 00:21:17,167 ( exhales ) 358 00:21:17,169 --> 00:21:19,129 - Bill. - Sir? 359 00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:21,917 You did a good job of making me feel uneasy. 360 00:21:21,919 --> 00:21:23,459 ( chuckles ) 361 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:25,840 Where you lost me was in the characterization. 362 00:21:25,835 --> 00:21:28,285 I mean, you started off as this somewhat cosmopolitan weirdo 363 00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:32,504 and then digressed into this-- I mean, you tell me, buddy-- a Southern dad? 364 00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:34,292 It was all over the place. 365 00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,844 Yeah, I had trouble finding the character. 366 00:21:36,835 --> 00:21:40,085 Make bold choices and stick with them. 367 00:21:40,086 --> 00:21:42,496 - Yes, sir. - Now, Lisa. 368 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,792 ( whistles ) 369 00:21:44,794 --> 00:21:46,964 - Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. - ( lighter clicking ) 370 00:21:51,835 --> 00:21:53,955 We do have to talk about those breasts. 371 00:21:55,627 --> 00:21:56,877 Sweetheart, I've been to the Louvre, 372 00:21:56,877 --> 00:21:59,497 and those things are the fucking Mona Lisa. 373 00:21:59,502 --> 00:22:01,252 Thank you. 374 00:22:01,252 --> 00:22:03,002 But I gotta say 375 00:22:03,002 --> 00:22:06,752 I think your choice to show them to me so soon after I came in the room, 376 00:22:06,752 --> 00:22:08,292 that was a mistake. 377 00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:10,344 'Cause here's what you gotta understand-- 378 00:22:10,336 --> 00:22:12,336 most of our clients-- 379 00:22:12,336 --> 00:22:13,956 I mean, hell, all our clients-- 380 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,290 are major voyeurs. 381 00:22:15,294 --> 00:22:16,794 Okay? 382 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,594 So, I mean, you're gonna wanna hold that off 383 00:22:18,585 --> 00:22:22,835 for as long as you can. 384 00:22:22,835 --> 00:22:25,495 - That's your trump card. - Yes, sir. 385 00:22:25,502 --> 00:22:26,502 Understood. 386 00:22:28,294 --> 00:22:30,594 Mm! 387 00:22:30,585 --> 00:22:31,995 Almost forgot. 388 00:22:34,336 --> 00:22:37,836 - What's this? - I-- I thought this was just an audition. 389 00:22:37,835 --> 00:22:39,835 Well, you worked hard. You earned it. 390 00:22:41,919 --> 00:22:43,629 - All righty. - Great. 391 00:22:43,627 --> 00:22:45,247 Get yourselves and this place cleaned up. 392 00:22:45,252 --> 00:22:49,422 Your first client will be here-- holy shit-- any minute now. 393 00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:51,288 We'll run the pizza boy sketch again. 394 00:22:51,294 --> 00:22:54,344 Take my notes, implement them. 395 00:22:54,336 --> 00:22:56,126 You're gonna do great. 396 00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:00,539 ( door closes ) 397 00:23:03,044 --> 00:23:05,254 ( exhales ) 398 00:23:06,543 --> 00:23:08,383 ( knocking on door ) 399 00:23:08,377 --> 00:23:10,167 Just a second! 400 00:23:10,169 --> 00:23:11,709 ( music playing ) 401 00:23:24,294 --> 00:23:25,754 ( knocking continues ) 402 00:23:26,877 --> 00:23:28,247 Be right there. 403 00:23:32,543 --> 00:23:34,343 ( knocking continues ) 404 00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:40,915 ( exhales ) 405 00:23:43,543 --> 00:23:46,713 Sorry about that. What do I owe you? 406 00:23:46,710 --> 00:23:48,920 ( music playing ) 407 00:23:50,585 --> 00:23:53,745 ♪ I don't have to hang out ♪ 408 00:23:53,752 --> 00:23:56,752 ♪ At some old redneck roadhouse ♪ 409 00:23:56,752 --> 00:24:01,092 ♪ Spending up my money, shooting 'em down ♪ 410 00:24:02,752 --> 00:24:06,422 ♪ 'Cause I found something better ♪ 411 00:24:06,418 --> 00:24:09,088 ♪ Lord, I swear I never ♪ 412 00:24:09,086 --> 00:24:13,206 ♪ Thought love could feel as right as it feels now ♪ 413 00:24:15,211 --> 00:24:19,291 ♪ Ain't no two ways about it ♪ 414 00:24:19,294 --> 00:24:22,254 ♪ I can't live without it ♪ 415 00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:26,632 ♪ Her love just gets sweeter every day ♪ 416 00:24:27,752 --> 00:24:31,342 ♪ Oh, endless TLC ♪ 417 00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:34,286 ♪ That's her philosophy ♪ 418 00:24:34,294 --> 00:24:37,344 ♪ Ain't no two ways about it ♪ 419 00:24:37,336 --> 00:24:40,246 ♪ She's the one for me. ♪ 420 00:24:48,835 --> 00:24:50,535 MAN: Here lies a door. 421 00:24:50,752 --> 00:24:53,592 Beyond it lies something wonderful. 422 00:24:53,585 --> 00:24:54,375 (SHOUTS) 423 00:24:55,002 --> 00:24:56,462 -♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(CLOCK TICKING) 424 00:25:00,877 --> 00:25:01,957 (LAUGHING) 425 00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,134 ♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪ 426 00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:04,997 (GRUNTS) 427 00:25:05,543 --> 00:25:08,093 MAN: This is the moment to enter the unknown. 428 00:25:08,543 --> 00:25:10,293 Something feels seriously off. 429 00:25:10,585 --> 00:25:13,665 If you stop, it could damage your soul. 430 00:25:13,668 --> 00:25:16,998 You are about to transcend. Are you ready? 431 00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:19,380 Absolutely. 432 00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:21,289 -(CLOCK TICKING) -♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 433 00:25:21,294 --> 00:25:22,674 MAN: There's a good side to this... 434 00:25:23,002 --> 00:25:24,002 (SCREAMING) 435 00:25:24,169 --> 00:25:26,039 ...and a bad side. 29128

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