All language subtitles for Hobgoblins.1988.BluRay

(coyote howls)

(rock music)

- Dennis.

Dennis!

- Hey, what gives?

- You're being paid
to work around here!

Not to sit around and
blast your eardrums.

- Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.

I can do both.

(phone ringing)

(dial tone)
- Hello?

Hello?

Didn't you hear
the phone ringing?

- No, I didn't.

- [McCreedy] They've
already hung up!

- Well then it couldn't
have been too important.

- Don't you have any
sense of responsibility?

That could have been
a very important call.

- [Dennis] At this hour?

- In the future would
you just answer the phone

no matter what hour it is, and
not make your own decisions

about what's important
and what isn't?

- Yeah, yeah, right, right.

- It's time for our rounds.

(eerie music)

Did I ever tell you
what the studio was like

when I first started here?

- Yeah, more than once.

- Oh, it used to be one of
the busiest lots in town.

- It's a real thriving
metropolis now.

Hey wait a minute,
what's this down here?

- Oh, it's just
an old film vault,

there's nothing down there.

- Yeah, but why don't
we check it anyway?

- I'm telling you there's
nothing down there,

and I'm not going to waste
my time checking it out.

- [Voiceover] McCreedy.

- What is it now?

- [Voiceover] I need
to talk to you now.

- Well I can't right now.

- [Voiceover] Now, I mean it.

- Finish the rounds.

And remember what I said.

- Whatever you say, Pops.

(faint rock music in headphones)

(intense music)

- What took you so long?

- I made it as
quickly as I could,

I was clear across the lot.

- You're not as young
as you used to be.

I tried calling you at
the main gate before,

why didn't you answer the phone?

- I must have caught
it just as you hung up.

- Well let's be a little
more efficient from now on.

How's the new boy doing?

- Fine, fine.

But I really need to get back.

- Just a minute, I want
talk to you about these

beer cans I found
in the front gate.

(ominous music)

- So there's nothing down here.

I wonder what they keep in here.

Yoohoo, Mr. McCreedy?

(growling)

Is somebody there?

(growling)

Is somebody there?

(radio static)

- I'll give you a
report in the morning.

(feedback squealing)

(crowd cheering)

(rock music)

(cries out)

(creepy music)

(door slams shut)

(eerie music)

- Another one quit?!

What was the problem this time?

- I'm not sure what
the problem was, sir.

- It wasn't something
you said to him, was it?

- [McCreedy] It could have been.

- I'm holding you responsible
for this, McCreedy.

Every time we hire a
new guard he only lasts

for a couple of
weeks, then he's gone.

How many is it now, three, four?

- It's three, and I
really don't think

you need to hire anyone else.

I can run the post myself.

- Look, you've been
here for a long time.

You know as well as I
do that we need to have

a second guard ready so
he can fill in for you

if you can't make
it here some night.

- But I've never missed a
night since I've been here!

- You're not as young as
you used to be, we need

to be prepared.

Do you know that if something
were to happen to this studio

while no one was on duty,
our insurance is voided?

- This place has been
deserted for almost 30 years.

- Stop making excuses.

I want you to hire a new guard,

and this time hire one who
will stick around for a while.

Or else I'll hire two.

- So, Kevin, is this the
first time that you've worked

as a security guard?

- Yes sir, but I'm a very
fast learner, and I promise

to try extra hard.

And I really need the job.

- Well you sound very
mature for your age.

You don't own one of those
portable radios with headphones,

do you?

- No sir.

- That's good, I think
we'll get along just fine.

Now, are you ready for
your first tour of the lot?

- Oh, oh yes sir, even
prepared to take notes.

- It's not that complicated.

You've never been on a
studio lot like this before,

have you?

- No sir.

- Well, it's not that
difficult to keep track of.

Now there isn't much
goes on here anymore.

- How long have you
been working here?

- Oh, quite a while.

About 30 years, actually.

And I've never missed
a day and had to have

someone fill in for me.

- 30 years, that's amazing.

- Well, not really.

You know, time
becomes sort of a blur

when you reach a certain age.

Sometime I'll tell you
what this place was like

when it was still a
functioning studio.

- I'd like to hear about that.

(mysterious music)

- Now Kevin, if I told
you that something

was very important, you'd
listen to me, wouldn't you?

- Of course.

- Good.

Now there is a part of
this lot that I want you

to stay away from.

I don't want to have to
explain all the details to you,

I just want you to promise
to stay clear of it.

- I understand.

- Now this is the part
I was telling you about.

- What's down there?

- It's just a lot of
dangerous machinery.

Now don't go in there and
take the chance of injuring

yourself, do you understand?

- Yeah.

- Good, now I don't
want to have to

remind you a second time.

Just stay clear of this area.

- So is there anything else
I need to be made aware of?

- There is one other thing.

This is what I was
telling you about.

Oh, but don't worry, I've
never had to use it.

- Really?

- That's right, not in all
the years I've been here.

But I would like to show you
how to use it sometime though,

you never know when
you might need it.

(ominous music)

- Hi.

- Not now, your
friends are here.

- Hey, how's it going?

- What'd you bring,
some new music?

- No, I just rented a
videotape that Amy and I

were gonna watch.

- Well that was very nice.

- Let me see what you got.

What?

Don't you ever get any tapes
from the adult section?

My boyfriend would
never bring me a tape

that didn't have at
least a single X rating.

- Well Kevin isn't like that.

He would never want me to see
anything that was rated X.

Would you?

- No, I wouldn't.

(horn beeps)

- Oh right man, I'd
recognize that horn anywhere,

that's my Nick.

Back from two months
of army training,

and you know what a man
wants when he's been away

for two months.

- No, what does he want?

- Woo!

It's been two months!

♪ Whoa everybody
have sex tonight

(laughing)

- Wish that were our theme song.

- Did you say something?

- No, no.

- I wanna hear about everything
you did in basic training.

- Well we had to get up every
morning about 4 am, you know?

- Sounds like loads of fun.

- Then there was calisthenics,
a daily run for six miles.

- Oh, I bet you
got really sweaty.

- Oh, you know I did.

After that, firing range.

(imitating gunfire)

And tear gas training.

Then there was
infiltration course.

- Big deal, I have access
to a gun where I work.

- Yeah well it's a
big difference between having

something and knowing how to use it.

- Would it be okay
if I used your phone?

- Yeah, sure.

Who you gonna call?

- My girlfriend.

- Hey we ever gonna get a
chance to meet this girl?

- Uh, I don't think so,
she's kind of shy.

- What else did you
do with the gun?

- Well I haven't actually had
a chance to fire it yet, but--

- I was talking to Nick.

- Then we had target practice.

But I never had an actual
chance to shoot anyone.

Yet.

- Shooting someone, is
that real important to you?

- Well, yeah!

(sultry music)

(phone ringing)

- Hi, it's me Fantasia.

Thanks for calling.

I'm going to see a movie today.

It's only rated PG.

I want you to show up
and make it rated X.

Sneak in the rear door and
when the lights go down,

drop your pants and
show me a full moon.

Wave that lunar eclipse and
block the projection beam.

Next, pull me down and roll
me on those sticky floors.

Lick that artificial
butter flavor off my body.

Hold, please.

Then take my clothes
and leave me naked

so that when the
lights come up, I'll be

the second feature.

- You sure that's
not long distance?

- No, it's not.

- That's good.

Because I have to keep
calling the phone company

every month because of
all these sex line calls

being billed to my number.

- Really?

That's too bad.

- Thanks for calling.

A new adventure
awaits you tomorrow.

(dial tone)

- Oh yeah, and then
we spend all afternoon

studying hand to hand combat.

- I know about the techniques
you have with your hands.

Tell us about something else.

- Yeah, could we change
the subject already?

- Why don't you pay attention

and maybe you'll
learn something.

Nick is protecting our country.

And you're just guarding some
rundown deserted dump.

- What did you say?

- Why don't you be nice
to Nick and maybe he'll

teach you something.

- Yeah I could teach you all
about hand to hand combat,

with no problem.

- Yeah.

- Well go on, I
know you can do it.

- Look, I said I wasn't
interested, okay?

- Come on.

- You're gonna love this.

- I don't wanna do this.

- Here, take this.

Okay, no no no,
hold it like this.

Okay, now block every
move that I make.

I'm gonna take it
really slow on you.

So watch out 'cause here
comes the first one!

- Go Kevin! Show him you can do it!

- Go Nick, kick his butt!

(exciting music)

Oh, he's getting so sweaty already.

Yeah, go for it!

(hits)
(cries out)

- Ah!

(cries out)

- You give up?

- Yes!

- My hero!

- You really humiliated me.

- What?

I didn't even want to do
this, it was your idea.

- I don't care
whose idea it was,

I wanted you to win.

- How was I supposed
to win, Amy?

I've never even
done this before.

It was an unfair match.

- You looked really pathetic.

- What do you want
me to do for you?

- I want you to make me proud.

- Come and get it!

- Gimme that, Nick.

- What's the matter, Kevin?

- It's really a long story.

- I've got all the
time in the world.

- What do you do about someone
who you can never make happy?

- Is this your girlfriend
we're talking about?

I don't know what to tell you.

What's the exact problem?

- Well, we've got this
friend who's in the army,

and my girlfriend's upset
because I couldn't do

all the things that he can.

- I see.

Did I ever tell you what I
did when I was in the army?

- No.

- Oh, it's also a long story.

(beeping)

Uh-oh.

Looks like we've got company.

(ominous music)

- Hey.

- Wait here, I'll call
you if I need you.

- But Mr. McCreedy--

- I said wait.

Oh!

- Shut up.

(intense music)

- Get away from him.

- Who's this, your grandson?

- No, he's my partner.

- I said, get away from him.

- Who are you kidding?

You don't know how to use that.

(gunshot)

(coughing)

- Are you okay?

Do you want me to
call an ambulance?

- No no, I'm fine.

- Damn.

- What's the matter?

- I just wish Amy
could've been here to see

what I just did.

- He's still on the lot.

- What do we do now?

- I'm going to call the police.

Try to locate where he is,
but keep a distance from him.

Don't try to be a hero.

(suspenseful music)

- Mr. McCreedy?

I'm going down that hallway
where all the machinery is.

I think he went down there.

I'm going in for a closer look.

- Good God, the vault!

Kevin!

Stop whatever you're doing!

Don't go near the vault
no matter what you do,

don't go near the vault!

- Amy, I wanna make you proud.

(growling)

- We're too late!

Kevin, why did you go in there?

Why didn't you listen to me?

- What's going on?

(exciting music)

(growling)

- Oh, if you only knew
what you just did.

- I don't understand!

What just happened?

- The vault, I
tried to warn you.

Those creatures,
the vault, I tried.

All my work, 30 years I've
been trying to prevent this

from happening.

- To prevent what
from happening?

- Those creatures.

Why do you think I spent the
last 30 years of my life here?

I was keeping them
from escaping.

I was young when I
began to work here,

and the studio was
busy and prosperous.

I'll always remember the
night that it happened.

It was late, there was
hardly anyone around.

I didn't even know
what it was at first.

It was all so fast,
just a flash of light

and then a sudden explosion.

I stepped out to
see what it was,

but there was no one
else there except for me.

It was right in the
middle of the lot.

Had it been daytime, it
probably would have been crushed

in all the traffic.

I just stared at
it for a long time.

I didn't know what
to make of it.

And then suddenly it moved.

And out from the top of the
disc came this small creature,

a sort of hobgoblin.

It looked around and then
it stared right at me.

I didn't move, I just
kept watching him.

Looked so friendly at first.

If only I'd known
what lay ahead.

- But I still don't understand.

- I let the creatures live
on the lot, it was my secret.

And then I learned of
the power they had.

I still don't know
if they figured

they were doing good
for people or not.

They slowly began to
destroy everyone on the lot.

They would find a person,
tap into his brain,

and then create his
wildest fantasy.

It seemed harmless at first,
I mean, watching everyone

around me becoming rich or
famous, but for most people

what they really want in
life can be very dangerous.

In fact, the creatures wound
up destroying everyone,

everyone they came
in contact with.

They're, they're, they're loose
in the city now.

- But you could warn everyone.

They'd listen to your story.

- Would they?

No one believed me 30 years ago.

I went straight to
the head of the studio

and tried to explain it to him.

He didn't believe
me, no one did.

I just watched helplessly
as people around me

were destroyed, one by one.

- Then what can we do?

- I'm too old to catch
up with them now,

but you might still
have a chance.

There aren't very many of
them, but they move quickly.

Just remember, they're
attracted to bright lights,

that's how you can fight them.

Watch everyone around you.

When a person begins
to act strangely,

it means that one
of the creatures

have tapped into his mind.

When this happens, the
creature is never far away.

Find it and kill it
before it's too late.

Because when the creature
dies, the fantasy ends

and the victim is safe.

Now remember, they're only
attracted to bright light.

That's how you find them.

But you must destroy
them all before dawn

because once it's
daylight, it's too late.

- Okay.

- You'll never be
able to stop them.

(ominous music)

(record scratch)

(dance music)

- Alright!

(growling)

Come on Amy, would
you get with it?

(growling)

(horn beeps)

That car horn, I'd
recognize it anywhere!

(horn beeps)

See you guys later.

Much later.

That's weird.

Maybe he's circling
the block or something.

- I brought your jacket.

I thought you might
be cold out here.

- Yeah, thanks a lot.

- Where's Nick?

I thought I heard
his horn before.

- So did I.

- Well maybe you should wait
inside until you see him.

- He's just looking
for a place to park,

now would you go
back in the house?

- There's plenty of parking
in front, maybe it wasn't

his horn?

- Look, I'm positive it was.

Maybe the police
just pulled him over

for all his warrants
or something.

Now would you just
go back in the house?

- Fine, I get the message.

- Just take this
stupid jacket with you.

Damnit Nick, where
the hell are you?

(growling)

Amy, would you just
go back in the house

and leave me alone?

And would you stop
breathing all over me?

(growls)

(screaming)

- Sounds like Nick
finally got here.

- Get the fuck off me!

- She must be happy to see him.

- Take that, you little bastard!

- Honestly, couldn't Nick wait?

(screaming)

(growling)

Go on, grab it!

- It's like a new dance.

Looks pretty kinky.

Hey guys!

- Nick, thank God you're here!

Something wild came out of the woods
and attacked us!

- I know I'm here to take ya out.

- Oh it's those rabid animals!

(screaming)

(growling)

I knew I'd find a use for this.

Just open the door
and stand back.

- Oh my God, what
do you call that?

- Urban renewal.

- Wait!

No, put that out!

(growling)

You guys okay?

- Yeah, I'm just peachy.

- I had everything
under control.

- Good, then you can
finish off your van.

- I don't understand,
what were those things?

- It's a long story.

What they do to your
body is nothing compared

to what they do to your mind.

- Don't have to
worry about that.

- You sure you're all okay?

I mean, you don't feel
anything different, do you?

- I think I wet my pants.

Hey, I was only kidding.

- And none of you have
a desire to do anything

you've never done before, right?

- I don't think
there's anything left

that we haven't done before.

- How 'bout you, Amy?

- Well actually I do
wanna try this new Chinese

restaurant that I heard about.

- Kyle?

- Could I use your
telephone again?

I wanna call my girlfriend.

- We still haven't met
this mystery girl of yours,

what kind of relationship
do the two of you have?

- I guess you'd say it's
a fantasy relationship.

(ominous music)

(growling)

(phone ringing)

- Hi, it's me, Fantasia.

Thanks for calling.

I need a new house pet
to impress my friends.

Now hurry before
the zookeeper comes,

help me hide this
iguana on my body.

Uh, can I help you, miss?

Oh yes Mr. Beastmaster,
something just crawled up my leg.

Oh, see if you can find it.

I think you'd better come
back to my office with me.

Now wait a minute, are
you sure your office

is in the baboon pit?

Mister zookeeper, what do
you think you're doing?

This isn't the
children's petting zoo.

I have a new house pet for
you, miss, ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, mister zookeeper, I
could never take a cockatoo

that size.

(record scratch)

Now stop wasting your
money calling me.

I'm right outside your door.

Don't keep me waiting, lover.

(dial tone)

(suspenseful music)

(coyote howling)

- Where's Kyle?

Didn't you guys
see where he went?

- [All] No.

- Do you, do you
kiss on the first date?

- I go all the way
on the first date.

- My kind of woman.

My place or yours?

- Neither, we'll go
to Reputation Road.

- I'll drive.

Do we have some time to get
Pop Rocks and whipped cream?

- Just start the car.

- Reputation Road, here we come.

- Amy, quick, where's
Reputation Road?

Daphne, where's Reputation Road?

- You go down to the
end of the street,

make a right, go through
two traffic lights

and up the hill and there it is.

So I've heard.

- What's going on?

- I don't have time to explain,
it's about those creatures.

I've gotta go across
town and get Kyle.

I want the rest of
you to stay here.

Don't make a move
or do anything.

And above all, don't
fantasize about anything!

- You know, girls, I could
think of a fantasy right now.

It's involving the number three.

- Oh Fantasia, you're
my ideal woman.

You're intelligent, you've
got a wonderful personality,

and I'll bet you're a
great cook and I just know

my mom's gonna love meeting you.

Will you marry me?

- Skip the ceremony, we're
going straight to the honeymoon.

Oh Fantasia, baby I could
watch you all night long.

- If you don't go any
faster we could be driving

all night long.

Now hurry, I know a shortcut.

Oh, don't park here.

- Why not?

- You have to park near the edge

if you want to go all the way.

- Oh yeah, sure.

How's that?

- Perfect.

- That was some
shortcut you knew about.

I never knew there
was a road through

the children's playground.

- There isn't.

(laughs)

Well, what are you waiting for?

- Fantasia, where are you going?

- I wanted a better
view of the city.

You can see it all from here.

Now, isn't that a lovely view?

- Oh, it sure is.

Where are you going now?

- Just wait a second.

You just keep watching the view.

Just hold tight and get ready
for the ride of your life.

- Do it to me.

(groaning)

You need any help?

- Would you get back
inside and wait for me?

This time don't move!

We're almost there.

Just think nasty
thoughts while you wait.

(suspenseful music)

(groaning)

(growling)

- Do it do me, baby.

- You damn fool!

What are you doing here?

- I want you to
meet my girlfriend.

Wait 'til you see her.

Fantasia?

Honey?

- Kyle, there's no girl.

She was a figment
of your imagination.

- No she's not, she's
just hiding somewhere.

I told you, she's a shy girl.

Sweetie?

- Shy girl?

That bleached blonde
witch almost killed you!

She was back there trying to
push your car over the cliff!

Hey, come on!

(crashing)

(explosion)

- Whoa.

- Now do you believe me?

(ominous music)

I'll discuss my phone
bill with you later.

Oh no.

They're gone!

(growling)
(crying out)

Hit the creature!

- I'm trying to!

- Hit the creature!

Idiot.

The creatures broke
loose, are you guys okay?

- We're doing just fine.

- What about Amy, where's she?

- She was acting kinda strange.

- [Kevin] What?

Where is she?

- Well she said she
wanted to go to Club Scum.

- What?

Why didn't you try to stop her?

- What's the big deal?

I've been there before.

- You guys, don't
you understand?

These creatures have a power.

They can tap into your
brain and sense the things

that you really wanna do.

- What's wrong with that?

- They also try to kill you.

I just chased Kyle across town
and pulled him out of his car

right before it rolled
over a cliff and blew up.

- It's still burning now.

- You see what I'm trying
to tell you guys now?

- What could happen
at that nightclub?

- Well there's a lot of bikers

and people fighting everywhere,
and I've seen people

dealing drugs and knife fights.

- What?

Oh no, come on, we've gotta go.

Come on!

- And I've seen the police
arresting people there

all the time for god knows what!

- Oh no, come on!

(rock music)

Daphne, I think you
got this all wrong.

Amy would never come
to a place like this.

She won't even go through the
mall parking lot by herself.

- Would you just listen to me.

You guys have to have a
certain kind of attitude

when you're in
this part of town.

You've gotta look
like you belong, okay?

- Yeah, I get it.

- Look, would you just listen
to me and nothing will happen.

Now look, I think one of us
should hold all the wallets

for safe-keeping.

You.

Now quiet and just be cool.

- Nick, Kevin, Daphne?

Cool, cool.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where do you guys
think you're going?

- We're looking
for a girl in here.

- You know, somehow I don't
think the girls in here

are gonna be your type, why
don't you try the Polo Lounge

up the street?

- You don't understand, we're
looking for a particular girl

here tonight.

- Oh.

Yo, Pixie.

Haul it over here.

- Yeah, what is it?

- You working here tonight?

- Pretty stupid question,

of course I'm
working here tonight.

- No, no, I mean are
you, you know, working?

- College boys.

Of course I'm
working here tonight.

What'd you boys have in mind?

Any of those fancy
moves in French?

- Read my lips.

We're looking for a friend
of ours who's in there.

- Does she look anything
like Pixie maybe?

- God, I hope not.

- That's the last time I
ever give you 1 0% of my tips!

- 1 0% of her what?

- Alright, that's it, you
guys, you're outta here,

get outta here!

Oh, Daphne.

I didn't see you back there.

- Hi!

Roadrash!

Long time no see.

- I was sorry to hear
about your boyfriend

coming back from the army.

You give me a call
next time he's on duty.

- Ixnay on the oggiesay, okay?

- What?

- Can we go in?

- Hey, you guys are
friends of Daphne's.

Go for it, knock yourselves out.

- Do you guys see her anywhere?

- Would you just sit down
before everyone starts

staring at us?

- Oh, you must be here for the
wet T-shirt contest tonight.

- Wet T-Shirt contest?

- Donkey mud wrestling?

- Donkey mud wrestling?

- Get lucky night?

- No.

- Oh, I'm sorry, the
donkey mud wrestlers

are supposed to use
the rear entrance.

Enjoy the show.

- Hey Daphne.

- Hi Daph.

- Sit down.

- How well do you
know those guys?

- It's just platonic.

- Oh really?

- Oh would you
just shut up, okay?

- Hey, you guys aren't
much of a help, you know.

We're supposed to
be looking for Amy.

- Well why don't you try
looking under the tables?

- Yeah, Daphne's an expert on
being under the tables here.

What color are the rugs, Daph?

- Same color as the carpet
burns on my knees, Nick.

(clears throat)

(feedback squealing)

- Greetings lowlifes,
and welcome to Club Scum.

- Hey get off the
stage, you idiot!

(rock music)

♪ Why work for something
when you can

♪ Steal it

♪ It's always
been my philosophy

♪ A little of this and a
whole lot

♪ Lot of that, I want it all

♪ Cause then I want some more

♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker!

♪ 99 girls, 99 boys

♪ Kiss kicker! 99 reasons to live,
kiss kicker!

♪ 99 girls, 99 boys,
boot licker!

♪ Kiss kicker 99

♪ Why live for something when you can

♪ Kill it

♪ It's always
been my philosophy

♪ Ya shove and get shoved and ya

♪ Shovel more shit!

♪ And I want it all

♪ Then I want some more

♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker!

♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!

♪ 99 reasons to live, kiss kicker!

♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!

♪ Kiss kicker 99

♪ You live and let live or you
live and let die

♪ I want it all

♪ Cause I want some more

♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker 99!

♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!

♪ 99 reasons to live, kiss kicker!

♪ 99 girls, 99 boys, boot licker!

♪ Kiss kicker 99, kiss kicker!

♪ 99 boys, 99 girls,
99 reasons to live

♪ Kiss kicker! 99 girls, 99 boys,
boot licker!

♪ 99 reasons to die!

(cheering and whistling)

- Can I get you guys
something to drink here?

- Maybe later.

- There's a two
drink minimum here.

- Look, we're all
underage, okay.

- Roadrash, come here, quick.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is it?

- None of these kids are 21 yet.

- Alright.

How many fake IDs we need here?

- This says I'm 40
and handicapped.

- So what?

You got a problem
with that, junior?

- No, I'll limp.

- And now, Club Scum is proud
to present a new headliner.

Appearing nudely and
nightly, Miss Amy Sincere.

(sexy music)

- Oh my God.

Amy, get off the stage!

- Hey, sit down and shut up.

(cheers and whistles)

- I don't know, but I think
it's sort of an improvement.

- So do I.

- I bet you showed her how
to do that, huh Daphne?

- Well, what do you think folks?

Is she a hit or a miss?

(cheering and whistling)

- Amy, you don't know
what you're doing!

Get off the stage!

Amy! Amy get off the stage!

- Stop interrupting the show!

- I want you to treat me like dirt.
Spill your drinks on me.

Show everyone that I'm
not wearing any underwear.

Take me under the
table and use me.

Make me.

Your woman.

- My bike's right outside.

I live right around the corner,

you know what I mean?

- Look, she's just drunk.

She doesn't even know
what she's saying.

She's never even been on
the back of a motorcycle,

she's terrified of them.

- Riding a motorcycle
is like sitting on

the world's largest vibrator.

- Miss Sincere,
you're my kinda woman.

- Amy Sincere's
only my stage name.

Do you wanna know my real name?

- Tell it to me on
your knees, baby.

- Break it up you two!

- Look, I'm not into
the number three.

Get outta here you jerk!

- Would you guys stop
sitting there and help me?

- Why don't you
help him, Daphne?

You seem to have a way with
all the men in this place.

Sergeant Parker, what
are you doing here?

- At ease, Private.

I'm out on a weekend pass.

I hear Pixie's working tonight.

- You go out in public
in full uniform?

- A real soldier dies
with his boots on.

- This way, this way!

(growling)

- What's going on here?

- Just a problem involving
some small predators, sir.

(growling)

- I see.

Sort of a marauding attack.

- Yes sir.

I believe that we need
to stage a diversion!

- Private!

Who's in command here?

- You are, sir.

- Then I'll make the decisions.

We need to stage a diversion.

And I have just what you need.

(growling)

- The crowd here tonight.

(growling)

Pixie.

Did I ever tell you that
I was a talent scout

for a major motion
picture studio?

- Did I ever tell you that
I've always been attracted

to men of your stature?

- Oh, Pixie, Pixie, Pixie!

(giggling and moaning)

(screams)

- What the hell are you doing?

- Here.

- Kevin, Kevin, I
got one of them.

- Good, let's hope
it's the right one.

- Oh Roadrash, do it to me.

Oh!

- Kevin, quick,
you've gotta stop him.

- Alright, Daphne can stay
but I want you two outta here.

- Hey, you gotta
stop him, look!

(explosions)

(screaming)

- What's all that shouting?

- It's me faking
my orgasm for you.

(explosions)

- Wait a second.

(screaming)

- Wait, stop, come back!

(suspenseful music)

(growling)

(screaming)

- Can you still fake
your orgasms for me?

- Fake this!

- Hey look, there's Amy!

Amy, are you okay?

- I'm not sure.

Why am I dressed like
a rock video slut?

- It's a long story,
I'll explain later.

- You there.

Name, rank, serial number.

- Don't shoot me,
I'm just an employee.

I don't even book
the talent here.

- Sergeant, can't you stop him?

- Why?

This is the best
training he's ever had.

You could never get
this at boot camp.

- You call that training?

He could kill somebody.

- War isn't pretty.

- Daphne and Nick
are still inside,

we gotta try and help 'em.

- Wait.

I have a special
mission for you.

- You do?

- Yes.

Have you ever considered
joining the USO?

- The USO?

- Yes, think of it.

Entertain the
troops, doing your part

for our country.

A small but patriotic gesture
that would be appreciated

by our boys off fighting
around the world.

- I'll do it!

- Good!

You can start right away.

I've got a truckload of
soldiers out in the parking lot.

If you start now you can be
finished with them by morning.

- What?

Nick, do something, your
Sergeant's after me.

Just shoot him!

- One more time, babe.

Here, do it yourself.

- Stop wasting time.

- Nick!

- Maybe I should send Nick off
to some third world country.

That'll give you all
the time that you need.

- Let go of me!

- Or maybe I should get Nick
out of the picture altogether.

Nick, this is your
sergeant speaking!

Save the troops!

That's an order!

- Nick! No, don't do it!

(explosion)

(screaming)

- That truck of soldiers
is waiting outside.

It'll be a dream come true.

(growling)

- My dream can come
true right now.

(explosion)

I got the last of 'em.

(magical chimes)

- Must've been a
rowdy crowd tonight.

- Hey, hey, hey Miss Sincere.

You know I really liked that
show you were doing inside.

- Okay scumball, the show
is over, why don't you just

climb back under your rock?

- Daphne, I could've done that.

- Oh, sorry.

- Amy, I want you to know that
I'll always be there for you.

- Well you know, no one's
ever really noticed me

before like that.

I mean, I've always just been
thought of as Daphne's friend.

This is the first time somebody
came up to me like that.

I kinda liked it.

- Amy I meant what I said.

I'm gonna prove it to you.

- Where is he?

Mr. Comstock, I wasn't
sure if you'd still

be here this late.

- I'm on my way out the door.

What do you want now?

- The creatures
have broken loose.

The same ones I tried
to warn you about

when I first got my job here.

- Are you gonna try to
tell me that same story

about the hobgoblins again?

- Yes sir.

I'm glad you still
remember about them.

- How could I forget
that nonsense?

Now get outta here
and get back to work.

- But you don't understand.

They broke loose tonight,
they're out there

somewhere in the city!

I already sent the other
guard out to try to find them.

- What?

You mean there's no one manning
the front gate right now?

- No sir.

- This is preposterous.

You do know that if
something were to happen

to this studio while
no one was on duty,

our insurance will
refuse to pay off?

- Yes sir.

- Well then get
back on your post.

- You're not listening!

I want to go out and find him.

He must need my help by now!

- You are not going to
leave your job to go out

and chase some foolishness.

If you walk off this
lot, you are fired.

- Well good.

Saves me the
trouble of quitting.

- Mr. McCreedy?

- Hey there.

We have a score to settle.

(intense music)

- Amy, this time I'm
gonna make you proud.

(punching)

- Amy, I think Kevin's
proved his bravery to you,

would you tell him to stop
before he kills himself?

- For God's sake Kevin,
stop before he kills you!

- Sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.

- No!

(gunshot)

(screams)

(magical chimes)

- I'm sorry for sending
you out on your own.

I should have known the
creatures would try to destroy

you, also.

- Where are they going now?

- Back to their
home in the vault.

Hurry, there isn't
much time left.

- Kevin, wait.

(sultry music)

Don't take too long.

I'll be waiting.

- Let's go!

(suspenseful music)

- Do you think--

- Shhh.

I was right about them.

They're back inside.

- Well maybe we
should get closer

and lock them back inside again.

- No, I've spent 30
years guarding them,

and I was fired
from my job tonight.

I won't be around here
to keep an eye on them.

- You were fired?

Well, maybe I could
guard them from now on.

- Oh no, I don't want you
to throw your life away

the way I had to.

There is a better way.

- Did you find them?

- Yeah, they're back
inside the vault.

- What are you gonna do to them?

- I don't know.

- Kevin.

Did I ever tell you
what I did in the war?

- No.

- Munitions.

(beeping)

(explosion)

Isn't it ironic that they
should pick a movie studio

to land?

Unless they figured they
belonged in a dream factory.

- You were my hero tonight.

- What?

Are you sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

- Daphne?

- Yeah.

- This is for you.

- Really?

No one's ever given
me flowers before.

- Oh, but there's lots of
things I could show you

for the first time.

Nick.

- Nick?
- [Amy] Nick?

- Nick!

- Daph, baby!

Told you guys I had
everything under control.

Daphne.

- Nicky.

- [Both] Van!

- Hello, Mr. Comstock.

Yes, I realize what time it is.

I'm sorry to wake you, sir,
but there's been an accident

at the studio.

The film vault blew up.

Yes, the building
is still smoldering.

Yes, I realize
about the insurance,

but you fired me earlier.

There was no one on
duty when it happened.

- [Voiceover] What
are you talking about?

What do you mean--

- Excuse me, sir.

Could I use your phone?

(upbeat rock music)

♪ If I can't have you nobody can

♪ If I can't have you nobody can

♪ But I want you
so bad I'm gonna die

♪ Well I can smell
you in my mind

♪ And taste you in my soul

♪ You're everything
that this boy

♪ Could ever want

♪ But you left me
without nothin' girl

♪ A failure a guilty man

♪ But memories fill up the wall

♪ Passion kills

♪ Passion kills

♪ If I can't have you nobody can

♪ If I can't have you nobody can

♪ Desire starts to pump in me

♪ A flame through my
body and I'm burning hot

♪ You're everything
that this boy

♪ Could ever want

♪ But you've left me
without nothin' girl

♪ A failure a guilty man

♪ The memories fill up the wall

♪ Passion kills

♪ Passion kills

♪ So I sit in the dream of you girl

♪ Then I watch you undress

♪ My heart's about to
pop through my chest

♪ Passion kills

♪ Passion kills

♪ If I can't have you nobody can

♪ If I can't have you nobody can

♪ You're everything
that this boy

♪ Could ever want

- Just remember, the next
time that you see a movie

that's only rated PG, I
want you to make it rated X.

(giggles)