Original subtitles

Attention all pilots.

Pre-flight in five minutes.

Hey, Tiny, better hurry up.

Yeah, sure.

Kids, breakfast is on you.

Your mom's at the gunnery range.

Darla, honey, stop by the PX after school

and get some milk, some eggs, and... Oh!

Get a can of 10-40 oil.

Merv, you have a call from your daughter at school.

Merv, call.

Has anybody seen Leonard?

Saw him last night at the youth center.

I hope he gets to school today.

Don't worry about Leonard. He's probably already there.

Leonard, are you up?

Since the crack of dawn, Mom.

Well, you'd better hurry or you'll be late for school.

School. School!

Leonard, did you clean up your room like your father told you...

Clean? ...as part of your punishment for driving

the automatic lawnmower through

General Newmeyer's rose garden? Remember?

Mother... Mother, this room is immaculate!

You could perform major surgery in here. Uh-huh.

Can I take a peek?

Must we spoil such a magic moment, Mother?

I'd like to save it to be a surprise for all of us.

All right, dear, breakfast is on the table.

Breakfast is ready, hon.

I'm late. I'll get it at the mess hall.

All right, Kinsey, let's go catch some waves.

Good morning, Lieutenant.

Hey!

Owen, Nancy? Here.

Jandi, Mark? Here.

Kellerman, Stanley? Here.

Slow down!

Kinsey, Leonard?

Present!

So good of you to join us, Mr. Kinsey.

To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?

I wouldn't miss this for the world, Mr. Foster.

You were really pushing it in home room today, Leonard.

Negative. I got it covered.

Leonard, when you bring heat on yourself,

you bring heat on all of the B.R.A.T. Patrol.

We've been together for two years

and the place finally feels like home.

Why blow it now?

Take a fizzy, McGeorge. You know the rules.

You make life what you can and then you drift.

Hey, Leonard, wait up.

Gonna make a pit stop.

Hey, what do you know?

Looks like a couple of the B.R.A.T. Patrollers

just headed into the can... Alone.

Let's go pay our respects, Whittle.

What do you mean you don't think your folks are gonna let you go?

It's gonna be educational, for Pete's sake.

Leonard, the Roller Devils Crash-a-thon is not considered educational.

Of course it is.

It's a study in human sociology.

It's a meeting of rival factions of mankind

colliding on a field of common ground.

And I do mean colliding.

Great. Trouble at six o'clock.

Well, look what we found, guys.

A couple of B.R.A.T. Patrollers playing in the sink.

We were just leaving.

Not so fast.

We got some serious talking to do. About what?

About the order of things, Kinsey.

You know, this base used to be under control

until you clowns showed up.

So, we figure it's just about time to get back to basics,

starting with this year's upcoming Youth Service Award.

Never heard of it.

Sure you have.

It's the annual award given to the most outstanding group

of young people on base,

usually for doing some incredible acts of goodwill in the community.

Don't sweat it, Newmeyer. You guys got it wired.

Yeah, well, that's what we thought last year,

till you worms showed up and threw the tennis tourney

for the Blind Children's Society.

Then gave that hokey speech about universal brotherhood and helping your fellow man.

You guys ended up winning the award.

Beginner's luck.

Well, we just want to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

'Cause we're gonna take this year's award,

B.R.A.T. Patrol or no B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Let me guess.

You guys are giving a CPR class at the county morgue.

Wrong, wiseacre!

You see, the junior marines is on a humanitarian offensive.

We're gonna blow the socks off this place

with incredible acts of benevolence.

We can't wait.

I'm talking warmth and kindness to the tenth degree, Kinsey.

So stay out of our way. You guys are dead meat.

Yeah, that's a lovely start.

I mean it.

We're putting you and the B.R.A.T. Patrol on notice.

Your breath is wrinkling my shirt, Newmeyer.

Now back off before I call a dry cleaner.

You know, I would love to stay and chat with you guys,

but the boys and I are late for an afternoon dip

at the officer's club swimming pool.

You know the place, Kinsey.

The one that's off-limits to you.

See you wimps later.

Come on, boys. Let's get wet.

It's Mr. Wimps to you!

They can't do that to us.

Can they do that?

They just did.

They've declared open season on the B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Better summons our people.

You don't mean...

I wonder what ant hill Leonard stepped on this time.

Oops! Sorry.

Hey, Bug, don't talk back to me.

Well, are you with us?

So what gives, Leonard?

I'm missing a chem lecture at the university.

Let alone Little League practice.

It's gonna have to wait, guys. We got some problems.

We always got problems.

Yeah, but this time, we got older ones.

Aw, no. Not the junior grunts again.

That's right, Bug.

Chuck Newmeyer and his goony birds

are leaning on us in a major way.

Thinks just 'cause his dad is general on the base that he can push us around.

No! We've been pushed around all our lives.

Moved from base to base, school to school,

friend to friend.

And by some chance, some twist of fate,

we've ended up here, side by side...

To form the B.R.A.T. Patrol, to stick together through thick and thin,

and to alleviate boredom no matter what the consequences!

Well, so what are we gonna do?

There's only one thing to do.

That's right, guys.

We're talking pool party.

Yeah.

Mayday, mayday, mayday.

Why'd you bring the kid?

Had to. The folks get suspicious when I don't.

Hope he can handle the pressure.

Ah! This is heaven.

Yeah.

The corps is a great way of life, Whittle.

Thought after this we'd go down and catch some quick PT

at the weight room.

Sounds good.

Oh, uh, waiter.

Can we have another round of beers here, please?

Yes, sir. Thanks.

Follow right!

I've seen better fakes from two-year-olds.

That's 14-year-olds, so show some respect, Pop.

Mitch, right over here.

Your root beer, sir.

All right, just put 'em on my father's tab, huh?

Wimp.

So, now what do we do?

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Sounds familiar. Sounds familiar.

Will you guys cut me some slack?

Oh!

Up, up.

Yo, tennis balls.

Yeah, good ammo.

Hey, nice touch.

You packing the Fizzies?

I got the water.

We're gonna turn this pool into one giant soda pop.

Hit the H2O, McGeorge.

Hey, hold it steady.

Fizz bomb two.

Oh!

Let's blitzkrieg 'em.

Careful, careful.

Push it to the right. All right.

Take no prisoners.

I wonder what the B.R.A.T. Patrol is doing right now?

Probably reading some comic books.

Assume defensive positions and take cover!

Hey, Newmeyer!

Good shot, Bug!

Excellent shot, Bug.

Back me up, McGeorge, buddy!

Geronimo!

Throw it to me.

Woo-hoo!

To the left! To the left!

Got 'em!

Yo, hit Newmeyer! Hit Newmeyer! Hit him to the left!

Air attack!

Yo, yo, help me out!

Afternoon, General.

This way, sir.

I trust everything is in order

for my assistant Secretary of Defense Atwood's luncheon?

Yes, sir.

Splendid.

He'll be inspecting the base this weekend

and presenting the Youth Service Awards.

I want everything shipshape.

Joseph? Yes, sir?

How's everything out there?

Just beautiful, General.

Kinsey, you are a dead man!

Yeah, and you're a turkey!

Are you kidding me?

Nice shot.

What's the meaning of this?

Dad! Dad!

I mean, General, sir!

Take cover! We're under attack!

Hey, Chuck.

Code three!

I'm gonna have your hides for this!

Come on, you guys, run!

Look! An escape vehicle! Hey, I'll drive!

Let's roll! Wait!

Come on!

Look out!

Hit the gas!

Major Hackett.

Yes, General.

Well, did you get a good look at 'em?

Well, it is a pretty hot day, sir.

I don't care how hot it is!

I want those kids punished!

Well, they're basically a group of good kids, sir.

No, General, I did not...

See your golf cart.

Can you give me a brief description of it? Uh-huh.

Mmm-hmm.

Hey! Stop!

Hackett, Hackett, where are you?

Just what's going on, Hackett?

General, uh...

I'll look into this personally.

See that you do, Hackett!

Ugh!

Three hits. Not a bad day's work.

I usually shoot down six in a mission.

So, what brings you to this neck of the deck, Major?

Rumor has it that a group of kids

raided the officer's club today,

threw a little pool party without proper clearance.

General asked me to look into it.

Is that a fact? Did he get a good look at them?

Not really.

Seems a wave of water hit him in the mug

before he could make positive ID.

They also ran off in his golf cart.

Probably the Russians.

Those Cossacks will do anything for a laugh.

Yeah. General seems to think the B.R.A.T. Patrol was involved.

What do you think, Major?

Sounds like their MO.

Loud, reckless, lot of unnecessary giggling.

Pretty serious stuff, Leonard.

Newmeyer has been on our backs

ever since somebody released those hamsters

at that officer's banquet.

Well, can you blame him?

It took two weeks to get 'em out of the air conditioning ducts.

I know. We got stuck with the job.

That was a bum rap, Major Hackett.

Somebody had to take the fall, Leonard.

Now what do you know about this pool party?

Sounds like some kids got wet.

Yeah, so did the General.

He's very concerned.

Thinks maybe you kids would be happier if you were separated.

But I might be able to talk him out of it.

He seems to want to help you kids,

provided you bring back the golf cart.

Now, I've discussed it with your folks.

We've come up with an alternative plan.

Great.

You may have to pull some community service.

Cut us some slack, Major.

It's either that

or Newmeyer can call your parents personally.

Kiss El Diablo Air Station good-bye.

You know, it's tough being a kid, Major.

Try being a cop.

Oh, yeah, by the way,

we've been getting some complaints about a sidewalk surfer

who's been breaking the speed limit.

If you see him, tell him to slow down.

Semper Fi, Leonard.

Here's some more paint.

Aren't we done yet?

I don't need any help. Thank you, sir.

Good deed number 76.

Darn junior marines.

All this for a measly dip in a swimming pool.

You're not kidding.

Interesting.

Appears to be a fairly advanced sedimentary specimen

from the Precambrian period.

Don't analyze it, Bug. Just paint it.

Hey, Leonard. Could you give us a hand?

Hey, I'd really like to, guys, but I'm a paint monitor.

We're only allowed to stir the paint.

But you're always the paint monitor.

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

Don't look now, guys, but here comes trouble.

Oh, great. Just what we need.

Eh, just ignore those bozos.

Well, well.

If it isn't the B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Looks like you guys are out of the competition.

What competition?

Cool with the camouflage, Bug.

I'm taking that trophy back.

Hey, why don't you go play tag with

some parked cars, okay, Newmeyer?

Oh, that's real cute, Kinsey.

Too bad the joke's on you and the B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Word's out all over the base you guys are history.

Yeah?

Well, you better check your sources, 'cause the word is wrong.

I have, hot shot.

See, my dad and everyone else on base

is getting ready for Secretary Atwood's visit this weekend.

You guys are persona non grata. You know what that means?

You're a baboon?

How about that? Wimpy can talk.

Yeah, well, he's trained to spot fools.

You know, Kinsey, you've always

got something real smart to say.

I'm startin' to get a little steamed.

Yeah? Then why don't you cool off?

My clothes...

They're wet.

War is hell.

You guys want to be stones?

Hold your ground, men.

That a way, Squeak.

Chuck?

Hey, chill out, McGeorge.

Kinsey, one day I'm gonna bump into you

when you don't have these nerds here to back you up!

Nerds?

Hold on, Bug!

Now, if you guys don't want to be uncommon denominators,

you better just back off, okay?

Sometimes you go too far!

My helmet.

Man, that was close.

Thanks, guys.

That could have gotten real ugly.

Leonard, do we have to paint any more rocks?

No, big guy. Good.

If I never see another rock again, it'll be too soon.

Yeah. Now I know what prison's like.

You break rocks in prison, Bug. You don't paint 'em.

Unit 7-1-9er, this is Eagle's Nest. Come in.

Yo, dudes, what was that?

Unit 7-1-9er, this is Eagle's Nest.

Do you read?

Come in, 7-1-9er.

Whoa, Check out this MP Vehicle.

Yeah, I wonder what it's doin' way out here.

And there's not an MP in sight.

They're not supposed to leave their vehicles unattended.

Maybe he went to the bathroom.

Bug!

This is Eagle's Nest. Come in.

Merely conjecture.

Roger, Eagle's Nest. This is Unit 7-1-9er.

Read you loud and clear.

Lock in 7-1-9er.

It's a voice-activated playback device?

What a good fake-out.

Radical.

7-1-9er, requesting a security check

for proper code name and voice tone, over.

Affirmative, Eagle's Nest.

This is MP Unit 7-1-9er in Sector K-2-6.

Code name for this hour is Desert Pup.

Security number Delta Bravo Sierra

2-6-1-1-8.

Roger, Unit 7-1-9er. Security check complete.

Eagle's Nest out.

Well, that was weird.

Perplexing.

I haven't heard that many numbers

since my trig exam last semester.

This is too funky. I'm gonna take a look around.

How about that warehouse over there?

Yeah, good idea.

Keep it down.

Get back.

Ah!

Come on! Let's go!

Come on. Let's go.

Where you been? Hey, what's it to you?

You know those guys?

Never seen them before in my life.

That one guy's definitely not a marine.

Something's rotten in Denmark.

I'm going in for a closer look.

Leonard, that could be dangerous.

I'm not just gonna sit here and do nothing.

You guys wait here. I'm going with him.

No, you don't, not without us.

Wait for me.

All right, what do you got for me this time?

A surprise.

Hey, my boss don't like surprises, okay?

But he's gonna like these.

Only top-quality stuff.

What is this?

What do you mean, "What is this"?

PRC-70. It's what you wanted.

Hey, Sherlock.

You cover us down here, Squeak.

Darn.

These are just old field radios.

I'm interested in the high-tech stuff.

I can get these for a dime a dozen.

Where's the digital message device groups?

Whoa! DMDGs.

We're talkin' high-tech radios.

You playin' games with me, jarhead?

Just relax, Knife, okay? I'll get 'em to you soon as I can.

Soon as you can ain't good enough.

My boss wants 'em yesterday,

and if I don't get 'em,

I'm gonna be swimmin' with the sharks off Coronado.

And I hate sharks.

They make me real nervous.

Yeah, well, me too, Knife.

I can't move too quickly. There's security all over this base.

Look, let's get somethin' straight.

If I don't get the device groups,

not only am I shark bait, but you're the appetizer.

Okay.

Okay, I'll get you the DMDGs...

By Sunday.

Sunday?

Secretary Atwood's gonna be visiting the base on Sunday.

I don't care.

Just get 'em,

or you're gonna be kissin' cousins with a hammerhead.

Heh! She's a beauty, huh?

$300 apiece.

No. You said six.

Four. Done.

What's that?

Check it out.

Yes, sir.

And, Harry, you check out back.

Don't see nothin', boss.

What are you guys so nervous about?

I got things covered.

Just... Let's just all take it easy, okay?

People who take it easy in this business

don't last very long, Phillips.

Harry!

What are you doin' just standin' there?

Get out back!

Move!

That was a close one.

No foolin'.

I think I stepped on a burrito.

Yuck!

Let's get outta here.

Okay, boss, all loaded.

Been nice doin' business with you, Phillips.

I'll see you in a couple of days.

What's the matter, Phillips?

Don't you trust me?

Stay down, Squeaker.

You always say that.

I don't know who those clowns are,

but I think someone's rippin' off the marine corps.

What should we do?

Well, let's go to General Newmeyer.

Yeah. He'll probably give us a medal for this.

Hey, wait up, guys!

So, how'd it go? It didn't.

What do you mean by that?

It means we struck out totally.

Newmeyer didn't believe you?

They wouldn't even let us see him,

because they said he was too busy

getting ready for Secretary Atwood's visit.

Nobody listens to kids.

Hey, McGeorge, what about you? What'd your parents say?

Told me to stop readin' comic books.

Mine, too. My dad told me to stick to baseball.

That means we're sunk.

Not yet, it doesn't, big guy.

Take a good look at Mr. Life Jacket. Come on, guys.

I figured your youth and inexperience in these matters would compromise our mission.

So?

So I went to my dad, told him the whole unbelievable story.

You did?

And he believed you?

Well, what can I say, guys? The man worships me.

In fact, he's in talkin' to Major Hackett right now.

Should be only a matter of minutes

till we're nominated for a congressional commendation.

I've got to see this, Leonard.

Ow!

Thanks for stopping in, Gunny.

No problem, sir.

Okay, Gunny, what's the story?

All right now, try not to act too surprised

if they want to fly us to Washington, okay?

It's kind of complicated.

Just give it to me straight.

Major, we are doing everything we can think of

to discourage Leonard's vivid imagination.

I'm well aware of that, and so is General Newmeyer.

That's why he's considering removing your family from the base

if you can't control your son.

Controlling Leonard, Major, is like trying to bottle a hurricane.

Still, you have to try.

And please have a talk with him

about those espionage stories.

In fact, I'm calling all the B.R.A.T. Patrol parents

and advising them to do the same thing.

Now, I need not tell you, Gunny,

that the general is getting fed up.

Say no more, Major.

I'll make sure Leonard behaves

if I have to ground him for a month.

So much for your dad helping us.

Let's ride, guys.

Great. Nobody believes us.

What we need is some proof.

What kind of proof?

Hmm. A spotted Sierra salamander.

I didn't think they roamed this far south.

Bug, we're tracking thieves, not lizards.

I'm really tired, you guys.

Hear that, Leonard? The kid's fading.

There's nothin' out here but blisters.

Are you okay, McGeorge?

Well, you wanted hard evidence, McGeorge,

I'd say you got it.

Great. Now, will you help me up, Leonard?

I feel like a waffle down here.

That was a big one, all right.

Yeah, maybe even wide enough to drive a car through.

Or a van?

What do you got, Bug?

Appears to be the standard fence line dupe

currently in use along our Southern borders.

Can you give me an ETE?

Judging by the oxidation marks,

I'd say this has been used a number of times.

It's not the first, Leonard.

Darla, how about tire tracks?

Negative, Leonard.

What do you think?

Strictly professional.

This has been going on for months.

I'd say there must be three or four more on the outside.

Yeah, but who's the inside guy?

Good point, kid. Anybody get a good look at him?

Sure. He was a redhead guy about 6'2".

Nah, that's 5'11", Darla, with dark hair.

Not quite, Bug.

He was six even with blonde hair.

No way, McGeorge.

He was short and fat with a mustache.

We're in great shape, guys.

All we gotta do is find a short redhead

with blonde eyebrows and a dark mustache,

possibly 20 pounds overweight.

Should be a cinch.

Hello.

Yeah, hang on.

Yo, Knife!

Telephone!

Yeah?

We got trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Kid trouble.

That's your department, Phillips.

Get rid of 'em.

Hey. Hello?

Ow, wait! Well, you gotta believe us! I'm talking major proof!

Yeah, like your Bigfoot sightings

and encounters with the UFOs last year?

Major Hackett, please! B.R.A.T.'s honor!

This is the place, sir.

You're gonna love this, Major Hackett. It's right over here.

What's over there?

This is weird.

I don't get it. What's goin' on

Okay, what's up, Leonard?

I don't believe this. It was here this morning!

Kinsey, if this is another one of your pranks...

It isn't, Major. He's telling the truth.

This fence line was phony.

It had a hole big enough to drive a van through.

Yeah? I don't see any tire tracks.

Well, the thieves must have covered 'em up.

What about the fence, huh?

It was cut. I swear it.

This is base property, boys.

If this fence was cut, somebody would have reported it.

That's just it, Major. Somebody didn't.

Leonard, I want to believe you boys. I really do.

But I don't see any proof. Uh-uh.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Ha!

Knew those B.R.A.T.s were up to something.

Call a board meeting.

Thanks for coming today on such short notice, gentlemen.

I know that some of you are missing judo practice to be here.

We've got trouble.

You don't mean the B.R.A.T. Patrol again.

Precisely.

We are talking about a group of kids

that has no values,

no concept of duty or purpose.

Kids that only have one goal in life...

To have fun.

Now they're trying to take the Youth Service Award away from us,

for the second year in a row.

But we want it back!

They're not gonna pull it off,

because we've compiled a list of such immense charity

that it brings tears to my eyes just to read it!

Demonstrated, once again,

that we're not just nice.

We're super.

There are only two days left, gentlemen.

Two days until the awards ceremony.

Intelligence indicates

the B.R.A.T. Patrol is launching a major offensive.

Will, I want you to form a junior lifesaving class.

Get those kids involved, and I want their mothers to see it.

Sure thing, Chuck.

Mason, you and some other men go to the local old folks home.

Feed their pets, empty their trash...

Look, oil their wheelchairs!

I don't care! I want to see kindness, gentlemen!

B.R.A.T. Patrol wants to play dirty...

We'll play dirtier!

Look, we've tried to go through proper channels with this thing,

but we've been shut down.

So, what are we gonna do?

Simple. The B.R.A.T. Patrol is gonna catch the crooks in the act.

Time out, Leonard.

Catching crooks is not as easy

as snaring bullfrogs down at Dead Men's Creek.

I mean, it could be dangerous.

Dangerous?

We've never shirked from danger before.

But, we're just kids.

Not just kids, McGeorge.

B.R.A.T. Patrollers, sworn by secret oath to uphold truth, justice,

and the calamity of reckless youth.

Without us, this base would be boring.

Darla, I want you to get that vehicle's ID number.

See if you can find out exactly who was on duty that day.

Gotcha.

Bug, hit the data processing center.

Get to the computer and see if you can run a make on that '82 van.

Take Squeak as a cover.

All right! Right.

But it's illegal.

It's for a good cause.

Now will you quit foolin' around with that thing?

This is serious. Right.

We'll be grounded for life.

So, if you get into any trouble, use these.

Wow! Chocolate grenades!

We haven't used these since you dropped one

in front of the big line at the movie theater.

We got in free, didn't we?

Hey, cool it with the ammo, Squeak.

All right, McGeorge, you're stickin' with me.

Do I have to?

Yes, you do.

We gotta get to that warehouse and find out how many DMDGs are missing.

Not the security warehouse, the one that's totally off limits?

That's the one. I knew you'd be thrilled.

We're gonna gather more evidence, McGeorge.

Pull a little recon into no-man's land.

Leonard, please.

Go with me, big guy.

Every time I do, I get stuck in the hot seat.

With me.

Born, raised, and trapped!

What are we?

We're military brats!

This is gonna get nuts.

Can I help you?

Uh, yes.

My younger brother and myself are doing a research paper

on contemporary communication in American society,

with emphasis on its potential ramification

to future neoclassic assemblages.

Hmm. Yeah, right.

Would you mind terribly

if we were to take a look around at your data systems?

Corporal Thomas?

You want to take these two on a tour of the complex?

Sure thing.

Come this way, boys.

And here we have your basic data banks

with the non-classified code system.

Oh, no, no, no, not a good idea.

And, uh, right over here is where we keep all our software.

You cover me.

Pardon me, Corporal, what's that? How's it work?

Uh, this is the control processor.

This does all the thinking for the whole center.

What's that?

Oh, that... Oh, no.

Don't worry. I won't touch anything.

Whoops! I hardly touched it.

What's this? It's a broken data bank.

What's that? It's a programming disk.

What's that?

Oh, that's the console area.

Hey, where'd that other kid go?

To the bathroom. What's that?

That's a wastepaper basket.

What's that?

Oh, no.

Bingo.

I've only got the table updates on this inventory.

Now if you'd like, I can check for you.

It'll take a few minutes.

Hey! Hold it right there, you two.

Yes, Sergeant?

Did you kids find what you were looking for?

Yes, Sergeant, we certainly did.

Thank you. You're welcome.

No, just give me a few minutes, sir.

Get down, McGeorge. We're talkin' a high-security area.

I got it, Leonard.

You with me?

Remember, dude, the focus of this mission

is to document the serial numbers of the DMDGs,

then we double back and cross-check.

That's very interesting, Leonard,

but I care more about my personal safety.

I don't know what this is gonna prove, Leonard.

It's evidence, McGeorge.

If we can match up the stolen radios

with the serial numbers on these crates,

we can gain some credibility.

Okay, Leonard, we've got enough.

Let's high-tail it out of here.

Kick back, McGeorge.

Kick back?

If they catch us in here, we'll be kickin' back in the clink.

They'll have us painting addresses on curbs again.

Glory is not without risk.

Okay, Leonard, I didn't mean it. I'll stay.

Will you mellow out, McGeorge?

I'm just gonna use it to open the crate.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Yeah, sure is. What is it?

Digital Message Device Group,

the newest communication gear in the field.

This is what those crooks are after.

Sorry to spoil a love affair, but we gotta make tracks.

Yeah.

Well, if it isn't the soldiers of misfortune.

Caught in a area that's off limits.

Off limits? You don't know anything about any

off limits area, do you, McGeorge?

Sure don't, Leonard.

You see that? Heh!

You guys made a mistake. Catch you guys later.

Not so fast, Kinsey.

You got a lot of explaining to do.

Bluebird, this is Sparrow Hawk.

We get a security violation in Sector K-26.

Request assistance on the double.

10-4.

Must be nice when your dad's a bigwig on base.

Yeah, too bad the boy's got an acne problem.

Maybe it'd develop into something.

Oh, you're real cute, Kinsey.

You can blame that one on my parents.

Look, we're gettin' real sick and tired

of you B.R.A.T. Patrollers gettin' away

with murder around here.

You know what you guys need? A trip to Maui?

Not quite, kahuna!

What's this?

Just a grenade.

A what?

Hmm.

And you say you found these two in the security sector.

Yes, sir, General.

We rolled on the call the minute we got it from the junior marines.

Anything else, Corporal?

Yes, sir.

Found this on them.

Thank you.

That'll be all, Corporal.

So, you two have reverted to trespassing

and chocolate grenades, huh?

Look, I can explain, sir.

You're at attention!

Now, don't you realize that grenades,

chocolate or otherwise, are dangerous?

Grenade! Hit the deck!

Holy cow! What was that?

Good reactions, men. Keep up the good work. Outstanding!

Thank you, sir. All right, ladies, knock it off.

As I was saying, I'm a very busy man, gentlemen.

I have an air station to run,

yet time and time again,

I find myself having to contact parents

because of some wild prank that's pulled by the B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Perhaps, junior marine Newmeyer

could shed some light on your behavior.

Well, sir, as I see it,

the B.R.A.T. Patrol has no discipline,

maintains a total lack of direction,

and generally disregards regulations.

Thank you, Charles.

Now, take a good look, gentlemen.

Here's a group of young people who are going places.

I look forward to their presence at

the Youth Service Awards on Sunday.

You guys parking cars again this year?

They're not carhops, Mr. Kinsey.

They are community leaders, tough, dedicated, strong.

But can they get girls?

Girls?

There are more important things in life than girls, gentlemen.

Sometimes.

Community service. Community service.

Ow!

Gee, Leonard, it's been a terrific day.

Whatever happened to that speech you gave

about international intrigue and danger?

This is adventurous, McGeorge.

You think they let just anyone work with this kind of equipment?

You want international flavor, you got it.

This sponge was made in Brazil, okay?

And that mop you got there, it was made in Taiwan.

Taiwan, McGeorge! I'm talkin' Asia.

Hey, how's it goin', boys?

Perfect, Major.

Just about to pop open another can of cleanser...

From Europe.

It's not a job. It's an adventure.

Well, I hate to spoil your fun,

but how would you guys like to get out of this little adventure?

What do we have to do?

How's about trying a little honesty,

like telling me what you two guys were doing

in that high security area yesterday?

That's what we've been trying to tell you all along.

We were gathering evidence.

Evidence?

Yes, evidence against the guys in the van we told you about.

Come on, not this again, boys, please.

It's the truth, Major.

Like your luncheon with the leprechaun?

Hey, that little fella could really eat.

Yeah, I know, Kinsey. You stung me with the tab.

The guy turned out to be a monkey in a green suit.

Look, you guys are gonna have to stop spreading

these wild stories around the base.

You're scaring people to death.

Last month, when you had the cattle drive

through the general's backyard party, it almost caused a stampede.

It was a Western rodeo.

Western barbecue.

You're supposed to eat cows there, McGeorge,

not ride them.

I'd like to help you guys out,

but first, you're gonna have to help yourselves.

Mr. Secretary, I'd like to welcome you to El Diablo.

I beg your pardon?

Welcome to El Diablo, sir!

Thank you for that.

Very appropriate.

Right this way, sir.

Junior marines!

Present arms!

At ease.

Screen's in place, Leonard.

All right, Squeak! Way to go, buddy.

At approximately 11:30 yesterday morning,

operator Squeaker and I entered the base computer center

and gained access to its data systems.

We ran the description of the van

and came up with a name and address.

Brunnel Brothers Salvage and Wrecking, 176 South Montecito Boulevard.

They do good work for reasonable rates and seem to...

Stick to the basics, Bug.

It seems the Brunnel Brothers are some pretty rough characters.

Before they went into the auto repair business,

they owned a liquor store.

Got their license revoked for selling to minors.

And here's where it gets real interesting.

Before they owned that liquor store,

they ran a military surplus store down in Ridgemont.

Seems the Brunnel Brothers were put off of business by Uncle Sam.

The ATF had them under investigation for selling weapons.

What kind of weapons?

The automatic kind.

Does that van look familiar?

Hey, that's the one we saw goin' into the warehouse.

Precisely.

Looks like the Brunnel Brothers are

involved in a little more than just dents.

Good work, Bug.

Well, my on-base investigation proved positive, too, guys.

I spotted this vehicle parked in front of the PX,

and it matches the same one we saw

parked by the warehouse the other day.

And this is the man who was driving it.

So I did some checking on him,

and he's got clearance into the warehouse,

and he was on duty that day.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I checked the work status shift in my dad's office.

If he finds out, he'll kill me.

Nice work, Darla.

It's not lookin' too hot, gang.

We got a lot of evidence, but it's still not enough

to put Phillips and his pals in the slammer.

Maybe we should go back to our parents.

Maybe they'll believe us now.

No, I already tried that.

They made me mow the lawn again.

The time for action on our parts is now, gang!

For years, the B.R.A.T. Patrol

has been laughed at, kicked around,

and made to feel like children.

Not anymore.

We are gonna draw the Brunnel Brothers

out into the open and trap them in their own dirty game.

But, Leonard, it's dangerous.

Danger is my middle name.

Not so fast, Kinsey.

Get your hands off him!

Hey! Get back there!

Leonard.

Please let him go.

Let him go.

You kids aren't goin' anywhere.

So, you guys thought you were gonna set us up, huh?

Well, you been readin' too many comic books.

Don't hurt Leonard.

Hey, why don't you just let the kid go, Phillips?

He doesn't know anything. Sure!

So he can run to Daddy and bring back Hackett and the heat?

Not a chance.

Looks like you kids are stuck, finished, finito. Compute?

This is gonna be the end of B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Hey! Hey, what's with all the blinking?

Allergies.

Yeah? Well, knock it off, okay?

You're making me real nervous here.

My dad, he's a master sergeant, and he'll come lookin' for us.

Oh, sure, sweet pea.

But by that time, I'm gonna be long gone.

You know something, Phillips?

You're a rude dude.

Ha, ha! That's right, but I'm gonna be a rich one.

Get it

In his eyes! In his eyes!

Hey! What's goin' on here?

And fire!

Get him down!

Get the string! Tie him up!

Tie him up! Get the string through here!

Come on, now, you guys! Come on! We can't let him go!

Sorry, Phillips.

You've tangled with the wrong set of hombres.

Way to go, guys.

Good job, Squeak.

Okay, now pull it really tight.

Gotta let him breathe.

Okay, but not much.

What next, Leonard?

Okay...

Now all we gotta do is find a way

to trap the Brunnel Brothers in the warehouse,

find something they can't say no to.

You mean like some digital message device groups

with data burst capabilities?

Data bursts?

Come on. Where are we gonna find one of those?

Well, maybe we won't have to.

Maybe we could invent one.

I suppose I could come up with a reasonable facsimile.

Forget it. You guys don't have the nerve to pull this off.

How soon do you think you could have one ready by?

By this afternoon.

Great.

Now all we have to do is get in contact with them.

But, Leonard, they'll never go for it.

They don't have to actually see us, just talk to us.

That's where McGeorge comes in.

Hey, wait a minute.

Don't play young with us, McGeorge.

We know you're heavy into puberty.

Everyone knows you got the deepest voice out of all of us.

I'm also gonna be in the deepest trouble if this thing goes wrong.

Forget it, Leonard. They'll never buy it.

Not if they talk to McGeorge.

But they will if they think they're talking to...

An adult.

Your amplified voice enhancer!

Bug, you're a genius!

I know, Leonard.

Later, gator.

Yeah, fatty.

They're never gonna fall for this.

That's negative thinking, McGeorge.

Brunnel Brothers.

What happened?

Wrong number.

So, let me try. No, no.

I can't expect you to pull this off.

It's a job for someone with a cool vocabulary and nerves of steel.

Check them shocks, too, while you're at it.

Sure.

Brunnel Brothers.

Yeah, hi, is Knife there?

You're talkin' to him. Who's this?

The name's Stinger. Johnny Stinger.

We got a mutual friend.

Uh, what friend?

Guy by the name of Sergeant Phillips.

Heh. I don't know what you're talkin' about, pal.

I don't know anybody named Phillips.

Sure, you do, Knife.

He works security detail down at the air station,

told us to give you a call.

You see, we deal in hardware, the high-tech kind.

Who's "we"?

My partner and I, Snake.

Your partner's got a funny name.

Yeah, well, it's a funny business.

Look, we got some DMDGs. Are you interested?

Well, if they're genuine,

but I don't deal with anybody I don't know.

Hey, you want me to hang up? It could be real easy.

Hey, nothin's easy in this game, pal.

Look, you could see 'em today, at the warehouse this afternoon.

That plan's out.

You bring 'em to me.

Yeah, but the deal was...

The deal's off.

Now, if you want to do business,

then you bring 'em to me tomorrow night.

I guess your boss really doesn't

want those data bursts after all.

Data bursts?

You got data bursts?

Nobody's got them.

Yeah, we do, a whole crateful.

But, no sweat. If you don't want 'em,

I could just tell that to your boss

the next time we see him, you know.

Have fun swimmin' with the sharks.

Uh, all right.

All right.

We'll meet you out there this afternoon, just like you said.

Great. See you then.

Oh, uh, Stinger?

Yeah?

The data bursts better be real,

or you're gonna be real dead.

Gas up the van.

What I tell you? Piece of cake.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

I'm gonna attach it down here, Leonard.

Hey, tighten up on the wire, McGeorge.

Hey, Bug, how much more stuff do we have to rig?

We're almost there.

Not now, Squeak. I'm busy.

Look.

Wow! Aren't those DMDGs?

Yeah.

I get it.

Phillips steals the radios from the high security warehouse,

then he brings 'em over here and he stashes 'em.

Good work, Squeak.

Leonard, we've got to talk.

Hey, hang ten, McGeorge. I'm pumpin' up the little fella.

One day, you and I

are gonna ride the big ones at Waimea, buddy.

Get lost.

Leonard, if my parents find out

we borrowed their video camera,

I'll be grounded for a month.

Will you relax? It's for a good cause.

Good cause?

My father'll "good cause" me right over the head.

And don't think they won't appreciate

your tremendous personal sacrifice.

Leonard, he'll murder me!

It's a tough, lonely world.

I still don't understand how this whole setup is supposed to work.

Hey, Bug, will you fill him on this?

It's quite simple, actually.

When the thieves enter the warehouse,

their vehicle will trigger the light sensor,

which will activate the video camera up there.

And those sets of trip wires are rigged to detonate

these sulfur and manure charges, which...

Manure charges?

Stink bombs.

Chinese Nung mercenaries have been using them

for centuries with great success.

When the charges go off, Squeaker will hit the lights,

which will trigger the strobe blasts from these halogen bulbs.

Strobe blasts? Bug!

To temporarily impair their vision,

which will give us ample time for our escape,

whereupon, we will lock them inside until the authorities arrive.

Leonard, do you think Major Hackett will believe us?

Of course. You're gonna be wired for sound, buddy.

We're gonna have the entire transaction on tape.

Wait a minute. That looks like my cassette recorder.

It is. Thanks, McGeorge.

It's really good of you to let us use it.

My clarinet lessons!

A whole year of 'em down the drain!

Sorry.

There's one last thing I have to have,

and I'll need some help getting it.

Got it.

I'll just put this thing back together.

Screwdriver.

Pliers.

Will you cheer up, McGeorge? It's not that bad.

After tonight, you're gonna feel like a million bucks.

Right now, I feel like two cents.

Well, it's a start.

This is gonna be a cakewalk.

I'm talkin' easier than the time we raided the bake sale.

Don't remind me.

I still haven't gotten the powdered sugar off my jump boots.

After this is over, we're goin' to Hawaii, partner.

You and me doing the hula with the cute girls on Waikiki.

I sunburn easy, Leonard.

It's more than a quick tan, McGeorge.

I'm talkin' strollin' the beach of life in a major way.

I am talkin' shootin' the curl of cool.

Will you stop it already, Leonard? I'm getting seasick.

Hey, Ray.

Two double chocolate shakes on my tab.

Sorry. Your credit's shot here, Leonard.

No sweat, Ray babe. Just put 'em on McGeorge's tab.

Thanks, pal.

Here are some nice cling peaches, oh, and some Bartlett pears.

They in there?

Affirmative.

Let's go pay 'em a little visit.

Now!

How's it goin', Bug? Almost got it.

I don't feel good about this, Leonard.

I think we ought to go to Major Hackett right now and tell him what we're up to.

And ruin our moment of triumph?

You'd deny us that?

This is our big chance, McGeorge.

For years, we've been looked down on,

called rowdy and offensive and repugnant.

But, we are! Nobody's perfect.

Look, we're doin' this for America.

For truth, justice,

and all those ninth-grade chicks

who are gonna fall all over us!

Ow!

Don't look now, Romeo, but we've got problems.

Well, well, if it isn't the stinkpots.

I thought I smelled something in here.

Probably just your socks, Newmeyer.

Look, I told you before you're gonna pay for those wisecracks.

You know what today is?

What?

Payday.

Hey, look, I don't want any trouble in here, Chuck.

Then go play with the whipped cream, Ray!

This is a private matter.

You guys walks around here like you own this base,

like it's your own personal playground.

Well, you've had your moment of glory, and it's over!

We're gonna walk away with that Youth Service Award today.

Terrific. How about walkin' right now?

Yeah, your feet smell.

You know, I don't think I like the way you're dressed.

No?

I think you need something that...

Something a little more.

Get the picture?

Don't even think about it.

I don't believe it.

I can't take my eyes off the B.R.A.T. Patrol for one minute

without risking national security.

We can explain, sir.

Explain what, Mr. Kinsey?

The youth center is a sea of tapioca.

The little Peters girl was struck senseless

by a scoop of pistachio.

The Davis boy splattered with maraschino cherries.

Never mind. What have you got to say for yourselves?

Men in war do strange things, sir?

Hmm.

They started the whole thing, Dad.

I am not concerned with who started it, Charles.

The point is that it never should have happened,

and you are as responsible as the rest of them.

Therefore, I'm volunteering all of you

to clean up this mess and pay the damages!

But... But, Dad!

Take it easy, Chuck. Your face is breakin' out.

Charles, you and your men get squared away.

The Youth Service Awards ceremony begins in three hours, prompt.

Dismissed.

Stop! Not you.

I'm not through with you yet. If I was worth half my salt,

I'd have your fathers down here and read the riot act to them.

Unfortunately, with Secretary Atwood here, I don't have time.

Therefore, until I do have time,

you are confined to quarters indefinitely.

Is that understood?

Are you gonna clean me up?

Mmm. Major Hackett, see that all parents are informed.

Aye, aye, sir.

Hey, McGeorge!

Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself

and get down here? Yeah!

Leonard, what are you guys doin' here?

I'm grounded.

Your parents said you were, too,

for three years.

You can't ground the B.R.A.T. Patrol.

Now, come on! We're burnin' daylight!

What are you guys up to?

We're gonna pull off that sting, McGeorge,

with the general's blessings or not.

Are you bonkers?

If they catch us this time, they'll transfer our parents for sure.

That's why we're doin' it, McGeorge,

so they can't hang that over our heads anymore.

So we can live like free individuals

in a just and peaceful democracy...

All right, Bug. We get the picture.

McGeorge, come on!

No way. I'm not goin'.

Ready for sound check.

Never thought a video game could sound so good, huh?

We're talking fear factor of 10. I love it!

Plus, I've added an amp to your voice enhancer

so you'll have more volume.

Great.

Here, buddy. Wanna plug this in?

What am I doing here?

Should be home in bed, studying Spanish.

But this is adventurous!

What's so adventurous about death, Leonard?

Because, that's what's gonna happen to me

when my parents find out I'm gone.

That's a very positive attitude.

Bug, I think it's about time you man your post.

Got it.

What's happening, Darla?

It's all quiet up here, Leonard.

Testing one, two. Testing, testing.

Testing one, two, three.

Hey, Squeak, come here.

Okay. Now, one blink means...

I know. Get ready. Right.

Two blinks means to flip the switch. You got it?

Are you sure?

I got it, I got it.

Okay.

This is so rad.

Yeah. I'm beginning to feel nauseous.

Here they come, Leonard!

All right, everybody, get in your places!

And nobody make a move until the deal's completed.

Come on!

How do I look?

Like a man who's about to die.

You're late, Knife.

Don't sweat it.

We had to duck some of your friends on the outskirts of the base.

Where are you?

I'm here.

Well...

Why don't you come on out here

where I can get a look at that pretty mug of yours?

The view is fine from here, thanks.

Let's do business.

How do you like that band, Mr. Secretary?

Oh, splendid, General. One of the best I've heard in ages.

Excellent.

This better be genuine.

Don't worry. It is.

A DMDG.

I like it, Stinger.

Just what my boss was looking for.

Now, where's the data bursts?

In the crate right next to you.

Joe.

Hey, load up here.

I hope he thinks it's real.

Don't worry.

You can tell your boss there's plenty more of those where they came from.

He's gonna have to deal with me directly.

Is that so?

Let's see this thing here. All right.

Hmm.

Yeah.

I'm sick and tired of dealing with you little people...

Huh? Huh?

Gotcha! Hey!

Watch it! Come here!

Look what I found.

Kids!

I don't believe this. You little brat! Down!

Give me that.

Nice try, short stack, but now you're history!

You touch us, Knife, and you're dead meat.

You're shark bait! Yeah?

Let me go!

And so are you, shrimpy.

Hey! What's going on?

Who cut the juice?

Ugh! Stink bomb!

Let's go!

Let's go!

We'll ride into boot camp!

Come on, Harry, start it up!

Get the front door!

Come on!

Yow!

Let's pulverize that little sand duck!

Get in the tunnel!

Let's go.

Gentlemen.

Mr. Secretary, you're gonna be thrilled

by this group of young people coming up.

Forward... March.

Follow them brats, will ya?

But which ones, boss?

Any of 'em!

Just try to find the other ones, will ya?

Come on! Put it in reverse, let's go!

Whoo!

Look, Phillips is gone.

No kidding.

Faster, Bug! Then hold on, Squeak.

Welcome back, guys. Now let's go find the general.

Those guys just don't know when to quit.

Whoa!

Get over! Get over!

Ha, ha!

Born, raised, and trapped! What are we?

We're military brats!

Yeah!

I don't believe it.

We're talking clogged pipes.

Yeah, I planned it that way.

When you're in this line of business, you've gotta take some risk...

It's Phillips!

And then there's times you gotta kick out in a major way.

Move, team!

Excuse me, sir.

Um...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Secretary,

and members of the press.

We've come to that time of year again

when we must pay recognition to the most outstanding

group of young people

here at Marine Corp Air Station, El Diablo.

A group that, time and again, have come to the aid of others.

Look sharp, men. This is the big one.

Get down, get down!

Whoa!

Hey!

We supposed to salute?

We're very proud of these young men because

they represent the very best in America today.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please give a rousing welcome

to this year's Youth Service Award winners...

Time to accept that award, gentlemen.

Number one achievers this year. Oh, no.

Not those guys again!

Here they are... It's Kinsey!

The pride of El Diablo...

And he's got a military escort!

The B.R.A.T. Patrol?

Everybody freeze!

Newmeyer, if this is your idea

of some kind of a surprise party, I'm not impressed.

Mr. Secretary, please.

If you just have a little patience, I'll explain everything.

Oh!

Mr. Kinsey! You're history.

Now, as of now, you and the B.R.A.T. Patrol

are barred from this installation

instantly, immediately, permanently!

No, I can explain, sir.

Don't believe him, General.

Sir, I caught these juvenile delinquents in the felonious act...

General, this man and his band of crooks

have been ripping off the marines!

Would you like me to arrest these juvenile delinquents, sir?

Immediately.

No, General, you gotta believe us.

We got the crooks and the goods. They're gonna get away.

They're lying through their teeth! Pardon me, general.

I believe their story. You what?

Give them a chance to explain themselves, to prove themselves, sir.

If what they're saying is true,

it's certainly worth looking into, General.

Sir, this is just a waste of time.

Well, this better be on the level.

Gentlemen.

It's right over here, General Newmeyer.

Sir, these kids,

they're just leading you on a wild goose chase.

We'll see about that.

This is ridiculous, General.

I mean, who are you listening to, these kids?

They'll just... They'll say anything.

Check this out, dudes. General, sir.

Well, General.

Major, arrest that man.

Cuff him.

Uh... Please!

Son, I owe you all an apology.

As well as a debt of thanks.

You performed a tremendous task here today.

In fact, you've made us all very proud.

So much so, I can't wait for you to volunteer

for some more community service.

Now, what did you say the name of your organization was?

The B.R.A.T. Patrol, sir.

You're a punk! You're gonna pay, Kinsey.

You're gonna pay.

Cool out, ho-dad.

Get your hands off me, jarhead!

And get those guys outta the cab.

Wish we had a radio in here.

Would have been nice.

It isn't often that I get the privilege of presenting an award

to such a deserving group of young people as we have here today.

The B.R.A.T. Patrol has proven itself to be

a true asset here at El Diablo Air Base.

And hence is the recipient of this year's Youth Service Award.

Congratulations.

B.R.A.T. Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol.

B.R.A.T. Patrol...

B.R.A.T. Patrol.

B.R.A.T. Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol,

B.R.A.T. Patrol, B.R.A.T. Patrol...

All right, there you go!

There's not a whole lot a guy can say at a time like this.

But, I'd like to thank the little people who made today possible.

Thanks, guys. You know...

There comes a time in every man's life

when he's gotta take a good look at himself

and say, "Hey, you're pretty darn terrific."

Believe me, I say that to myself every morning.

But being a surf dude, it isn't all chicks and beach parties.

It's something more... Some...

Good work, Squeak.

Great. Thanks, Squeak.