All language subtitles for Crazy.Ex-Girlfriend.S01E13.Josh.and.I.Go.to.Los.Angeles!.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.Rus.Eng_TeamHD_track5_[eng]

Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

Uh...

That has Josh's name on it.

That makes sense.

He was barely here.

My girlfriend is 20 feet
through that wall,

and I'm standing here.

I got to go.

Audra Levine just got married.

Also, she got the promotion
you didn't take.

I was dead to him.

He didn't want to spend

any more time with me,

and oh, we were
getting so close.

I'm going to fix this.

All we need is
some random guy.

Ooh, Trent.

Oh, that's a perfect name
for a fake boyfriend.

I'm a bothsexual.

The term is, uh, bisex...

The water is being diverted

away from the San Gabriel Valley

and towards Los Angeles.

Paula, this case
can't be over,

because Josh and I
are having the best time.

Okay, so I found something out.

So did I.

Trent? Baby?

* I was working hard
at a New York job *

* Making dough
but it made me blue *

* One day I was crying a lot

* And so I decided to move

* To West Covina, California

* Brand-new pals
and new career *

* It happens to be
where Josh lives *

* But that's not why I'm here

* She's the crazy
ex-girlfriend *
What? No, I'm not.

* She's the crazy
ex-girlfriend *

That's a sexist term.

* She's the crazy
ex-girlfriend *

Can you guys stop singing
for just a second?

* She's so broken inside *

The situation's a lot more
nuanced than that.

* C-R-A-Z-Y *

Okay! We get it!

* Crazy ex-girlfriend. *

(grunting)

Oh, honey.

So what are you,

uh, doing here,
because, uh,

you said that you were
going to meet me at home?

Yeah, I was,
but then your friend called,

and so here I am.

He's not your boyfriend.

(scoffs)
He can't be.

That picture

that you said you took of him

a few weeks ago in Palm Springs,

that was taken five years ago.

Yes, it was.
It was. Fair.

Um, and that has
a very good explanation.

And that is...

No, it's, um...

(sighs)
Okay.

It's because I clearly
labeled it wrong.

It's dumb.

Look, honey,
I don't know what

this girl's problem is,
but you and I

have dinner
plans later.
Yeah.

So I will see you
at home.
Okay.

Okay?
Oh.

TRENT:
All right.

Bye.
Bye.

I love you.

I love you, too.

(bells jingling, door closes)

Oh.

Uh, um, he was nice.

Yeah, he loves kissing

with tongue.

Josh, oh, my gosh, okay,

so this case we've
been working on,

dude, it's like so much bigger

than what I
initially thought.

It's about, like,
all of the landlords,

and they're in cahoots with
a multi-billion dollar company,

and they're
exploiting everybody.

Like, this could be the biggest
case the county's ever seen.

Wow, really?
Yes,

so I need your help.
I need you

to meet me at Whitefeather
in an hour, and together

we're going to blow
this case wide open.

Sure.

Great!

Okay, uh, the rest of you,
I will see you later.

I'm going to go

kiss my boyfriend some more.

(pants rustling)

Sorry about the loudness
of the pants.

I don't know why people
fish in these.

You'd think the sound
would scare away the fish.

(bells jingling, door closes)

No.

No. No, no.

This is not right.

He is not her boyfriend.

I can, I can feel it.

God, I'm an idiot.

What am I, what am,
what am I even doing here?

I got

caught up
in Bunchsanity again.

I'm a moron.

I have, I have to go.

I'm late picking Heather up.

I'm going to just forget
that I was here.

But...

My advice to the two of you

is to stop obsessing
about Rebecca.

Nothing good can come of it.

(bells jingling)

I guess I was wrong.
I'm, I'm sorry, I...

Okay, babe.

Babe, just take a deep breath.

(exhales)
This, this has gotten

way out of hand.
Well...

I know you don't like her,
I get it,

but this case could
be something great.

Not just for us,
but for a lot of people.

Just trust me, okay?

Okay.

I trust you.

Nose?

Nose.

(laugh softly)

Hey.

I'm, uh, heading
back to work.

I got a big case breaking,
so I just wanted to say,

uh, thank you
for that kiss.

Wow.

(laughs)

So, uh, anyway,
I'll see you later.

Yeah.

Unless you want to kiss again,
for any reason.

Okay.

Yeah?
Yeah.

That worked.
(laughs)
Okay.

So anyway, I was
thinking, uh,

maybe later,
we would, uh,

go out for a
little bev-er-age.

What's the, uh, what's that
accent? What are we doing?

I don't know.
(both laugh)

I don't know,
I'm sorry.

But what do you think?

Do you want to maybe
go get a drink later?
Yeah.

Sure. Why not?
All right.

We can just go to Home Base.

Or, um,
Jimmy's House of Spirits

has a great Chardonnay.

Well, the thing is,
I was thinking

that maybe I would
take you to

(French accent):
La City of Los Angeles.

Hmm.

Accent happened again.

I'm... I don't know
what's going on.
(laughs)

(laughs)
It keeps coming up.

So ju-just to be clear,
you, you want to get a drink,

but just not any place where
people we know might see us.

Exactly.

Okay, look, Darryl,
I am cool with

whatever you need to do
in your own life,

it's all good, but I'm not going
to go back into the closet.

Not for anybody.

I didn't come out
until I was 12.

Those were some
tough years.

Oh, no, no, no. I didn't
mean it like that.

No, no, it's okay.

I got to go, 'cause I...

I have a client,
I just remembered,

so I will, uh,
talk to you later.

REBECCA:
Guys, guys, guys, listen up.

All of the local landlords are
being bribed to divert water

from the San Gabriel Valley
to Los Angeles.

I mean, God, it's insane.

It's like the movie Chinatown.

It, it's like Chin...
you guys, g...

Guys, you've seen
Chinatown, right?

I've never even
heard of it.
No.
JOSH: No.

What?!
Sorry.

Critics say it's like one of the
top ten movies of all time.

Well, now I got to see it.
All right.
I guess.

Okay, when this
case is over,

we're going to have
a movie night.

Okay, I don't,
I don't know
Yeah, okay.

about "China Time" or whatever
you're talking about,

but I do know about
injustice, okay?

And these guys are being
bribed to divert water

from the San Gabriel Valley
into Los Angeles.

So what we're going to do

is we're going to get Joshes
from all over the Valley.

All over.
Yes, we are going
to get plaintiffs

from everywhere
and we're going to make this

the largest class action lawsuit
L.A. County has ever seen.

Awesome.

Okay, so we need
to start calling people,

like right now.

Get as many people involved
in this thing as we can.

Okay, you heard her, everyone,
let's get on the horn.

Well, I-I-I'm in.
How can I help?

Uh, you have friends
and family all over the Valley.

Right, I do.

Monrovia, El Monte,
City of Industry,

Diamond Bar, Alhambra.

Right, right,
all the places,

so yeah, uh,
go, call them.

Yeah.
Yeah, okay.

You're the best.

(exhales)

(door closes)

(screams, yells)

You should lock your back patio.

I'm worried about your security.

Oh, my God, are...
are you going to kill me?

No, why would I kill you?

I love you.

What?

Rebecca Bunch,
I have loved you

since the moment that I saw you

freshman year in the cafeteria.

You were eating
a mac and cheese sandwich.

Remember?

And then, last week,
out of nowhere,

you friended me on Facebook
and then some lady called me

and said that she thought
I was your boyfriend.

I mean, what are the odds?

So weird, right?

Weird is a word for it.

Yeah.

Trent, so first of all,

I can not thank you enough
for covering for me back there.

I mean, you were
such a smooth liar

and a very, um,
passionate kisser.

Oh, thank you so much.
Yeah.

And you seem like
an interesting guy.

Oh, I am interesting.

I own my own
computer programming firm,

and I almost invented Twitter,

but I thought, eh,
no one's going to use that.

Huh.
And I have a pet lizard,

and I drag boulders
and trees for fitness.

Those facts are so fun.
Oh, cool.

Like the definition
of fun facts.

(laughing):
But, um, dude,

this isn't happening.
Right.

You're not, we're not going
to have a relationship.

Oh.

This is really weird.

I know that the whole situation

I got you into
was weird, but like

this can't
happen right now.
It's weird, yeah.

Yeah, okay,
so you see it?
This is weird.

A hundred percent.
So you got to go.

Yeah.
Oh.

I don't want to have
to go back to your friends

and tell them
I don't know you.

I would much rather stay here
and make you dinner.

How about that?

Are you blackmailing me?

Oh, you know what they say,

one person's blackmailing
is another person's love story.

Who says that?

Me. I do.

Got it from a phrase book.

Okay.

Let's just have
a quiet night at home

and reconnect, huh?

Do you like couscous? I do.

Do you like Tarantino?
I don't.

He spent the night
at your apartment?

Thank you,
thank you so much.

Yes, and before you
say anything,

dude makes a great dinner.

And then, he-he drew me a bath
and massaged my feet.

It wasn't weird,
I wore a bathing suit.

Okay, maybe you should
call the police.

The pol...
and tell them what?

I made up a fake boyfriend

and now that fake boyfriend

wants to be my
real boyfriend? No.

I'm not going to do that.
Look, this guy's fine.

I knew a million guys like
him in college, trust me.

He's into all this now
and then he'll see me

eat a piece of ham off the
ground and he'll move on.

(elevator bell dings)
Ooh, there's Josh.
Just shut up about this.

Um, I think Rebecca and Paula...
Oh, hey.

Hi.

Yeah, they're, they're...

Yep.

This is so exciting.

I've always wanted
to work here.

This place is so weird.

A sports bar,

but with kids
running around,

where the moms
look like hookers

and the hookers
look like moms.

I love it.

Are you sure it's a good idea
to recommend me, though?

I've quit like almost
every place in town.

You just haven't had the
right coworker, yet.

Are you sure you want
your GF around 24/7?

What? Yes, of course.

Why wouldn't I?

You have my undivided
attention here,

and in my heart and soul.

What?

Thank you very much.

I've got Irwindale.

I got Citrus.

I got La Puente.

And I got donuts.

(excited chattering)
Yeah, I was hungry.

Uh, Rebecca, there's
some people here to see you.

George, what did I say
about interrupting us

while we're doing work?

Right, but they said they're
from Greater City Water,

and it's urgent.

Oh.

They must have heard

about all the calls we're making

and the motions we're filing,

and that water company's
confidence has evaporated.

Evaporated.

(sighs)
Anyway, it's good news.
It's great.

Oh.
Oh!
Oh.

I thought you meant literally.
Cool.

Wow, and we didn't even
have to go to court.

You're so cool.

I'm cool?

Thank you.

Rebecca,

before you say "no",
like you did to the

landlord,
Yeah?

you know, that settlement offer
from last week,

let's hear their offer first,
okay?

Darryl, trust me,
they're scared.

They're only here
to fork over the cashola.

I've seen this a thousand times.

I hope so.

Come on, guys,
let's go

fleece these losers.
Ha-ha.

Yeah, sure. I love
a good fleecing.

Oh, my God.

What?

They brought in my
old firm from New York.

JOSH:
Are they good?

Yeah, they're like

Taylor Swift, Elon Musk
and Shonda Rhimes combined.

(whispering):
Oh, no, they brought her.

JOSH:
Who is that?

She looks like
you used to.

That is Audra Levine.

(echoing)
Audra... Audra Levine.

Au-Au-Audra Levine.

She has the life you
could've had, almost had,

but ruined with all
your ridiculous choices.

Oh, no.

Levine.

Bunch.

You look well.

You look like a farmer.

Well, now I regret
saying you look well.

It's been a long time.

Audra, just give it up already.

It's not important.

Tell me what you
got on the test.

It's none of
your business.
Give it to me.

Stop.

You got a 97?

No one else got
higher than a 90.

My mother says you cheat

and that's how you get
better grades than me.

No, I don't cheat.

That's ridiculous.

You're ridiculous.

Why are you always bothering me?

I mean, we're both losers
who have no friends,

so shouldn't we,
you know,

team up or something?

Never.

I want to be the best
and you're in my way.

Sorry, not sorry.

Loser.

So,

what are you

and your team doing
slumming it out here?

Well, Greater City Water
has deep pockets

and wanted the best,

which you used to be,
and now you're here.

Slumming it is right.

This firm is a dump.

This town is a dump.

It is not.

Honestly,
it's not so great.

Bunch, I'm here
to give you an out.

We are here
with a settlement offer.

Great, we'd love to hear it.

Rebecca, don't say anything.

Our offer is...

...no settlement.

What? Wait a minute.

So when you said

there was a settlement
offer, there is no of...

Wh... That was
just a dirty trick?

Oh, you're good.

Well, frankly,

you have no case, and no shot,

and no idea how to blend your
foundation at your jawline,

so you need to back off,

withdraw the case,
and save yourself

the embarrassment of everyone
knowing that you're a loser.

Okay, let's tone it down.

No.

* This is real deep beef
from way back in the past *

* Deeper than I'll put a foot up
in the crack of your ass *

* Come on, let's do this

* Your little pals
can witness how vicious *

* This Westchester
alpha bitch is *

* I'm straight up malicious

* A verbal curb stomper

* Since we were toddlers,
I've studied every *

* Chink in your armor

* And between your folks'
divorce, and that *

* Haircut on you,
I'm really not sure *

* Which one's
the bigger shondeh *

* That means "disgrace"

* I'm translating for the goys

* Our life lines have been
parallel like corduroys *

* But now, we'll see
whose bars will prevail *

* In this beef
of two hard-as-nails *

* Shebrews from Scarsdale

* We've got
a conflict of interest *

* I'm about to give Levine
the business *

* Spittin' venomous hate

* Penetrating her defenses

* It's a JAP battle

A what?

* A Jewish American Princess

* Rap battle

* Daughters of privilege

* Spittin' mad flow

* Find that term offensive?

* Too bad, yo, oh, snap

* It's a JAP battle rap

* Look, academically,
you could never catch me *

* You were close,
but no match scholastically *

* Nohow, no way

* I put the "O.G."
in "5.0 G.P.A." *

* Well, speaking of which,
are you A.P. graded? *

* 'Cause these days you look
a bit heavily weighted *

* And all your book crackin'

* Don't make up for the fact
that I'm strapped *

* With that killer instinct
that you lack *

* Sweetheart, here's what

* You're not understanding,
I'm street-smart *

* You mean, 'cause you minored
in Urban Planning? *

* Bitch, I know you

* That tough act's a bluff

* So sheket bevaka
shut the hell up *

* Your temper, you lost it,
oh, cute *

* Like you're going
to lose this lawsuit *

* Keeping your piehole shut
would be quite wise *

* Though you kept it open wide
for the AEPI guys *

* And I banged your
hedge fund manager fiancé *

* Back in college
over winter holidays *

* Bathroom stall at the
matzo ball and honestly *

* I gotta say

* Really not hot at all

* Finished quick, rotten lay

* This is...
* A JAP battle

* Bane of my existence

* Your rhymes are facile

* From Golden's Bridge

* To North Castle

* Wipe you off the map

* In this JAP battle rap

* Bunch, you're a curse,
you're a blight *

* We were frenemies
at first spite *

* Think your verse is tight?

* Then you're tripping
like birthright *

* I'll wipe the mirth
right off *

* Your ugly mug
and fill you full of slugs *

* Like a straight up thug

* Uh, that word is racist,
someone ought to tell you *

* Like me,
I belong to the ACLU *

* Spare me,
I'm a card-carrying member *

* Plus, I spent a semester
in Kenya, remember?

* Well, I volunteered in Ghana

* Well, I guess that
makes us equal *

* Well, it's settled then

* We're both cool
with black people *

* 'Cause we're liberals

* Duh, progressive as hell

* Though, of course,
I support Israel *

* Audra, wait
we share so many traits *

* Should we shake hands

* And erase the hate

* Created by
our mothers pitting *

* Us against each other for

* Accolades and grades

* We were egged on
like Seder plates *

Nah.

* In summation

* You left New York

* For this sunburnt shtetl

* Now you're like
"Oh, Audra, let's settle" *

* You want to get salty
like the Dead Sea? *

* Word,
but call off this suit *

* Or you're dead, see, word.

Hmm.

Don't smirk at me, Connors.

(elevator bell dings)

She's a very
angry young lady.

And so scary.

Are you sure
you can beat her?

Of course I can.

Now let's get back
to compiling evidence

and building
the strongest case we can.

There you go.

Great.
All right.

Go team.

I scared.

KEVIN: Greg.
GREG: Hey.

Is this the girl, Heather,
you were telling me about?

This is her.

Greg says you want
to work here.

Wow, you are really beautiful,

and you seem super cool.

Uh, thanks.

Kevin can be

aggressively nice,
you're not going to like it.

So tell me why
you want to work here.

Well, Greg and I thought
it'd be fun to hang out

and spend time together

and maybe hook up
in the stockroom

in our spare time.

(laughs)
We... we didn't say that.

Yeah, we did.

I like her honesty.

It's terrific.

And you can bang it out
in the stockroom

whenever you want.

Okay, that's not
hot any more.

You're hired.

Here's your apron, my lady.

You got a great
girl here, Serrano.

Shall we hug?
Nah...

I got two arms,
no waiting.

No, I don't really
like strangers...
No waiting.

...touching me.

(door closes)

Oh, you.

What, you forgot I was here?

Yeah, kind of, I had a long day.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

(sighs heavily)

Dude, can you please leave?

But I made homemade
tagliatelle.

From scratch?
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Leave after dinner.
Okay.

And after you
do the dishes.
Sure.

And after you
clean the counter.

I don't want like
raw eggs everywhere.

I'll do that.

Okay.

Oh, no, this is so weird,
I don't know you.

Does anyone really
know anyone?

Yeah, lots of people
know lots of people.

I think you should check
your facts on that.

Look, I know that I'm
blackmailing you a little,

and I've been told that
that's not an appropriate

way to meet people.

Vino?

Fine, fine.
Okay.

But I also really like you.

And you look like
you've had a hard day,

and you just need someone
to take care of you.

So come on.

Tell me about your day.

No.

Okay.

Oh, so there's this bitch
I grew up with named Audra.

Oh, that's so good.

God, it you'd seen the look
in Audra's eyes, Trent,

I mean, she hates me.

She really hates me.

I mean, it's because
I'm smarter than her.

She's so insecure, I mean,

she went to Cornell,
which as you know,

is like the community college

of Ivy League schools.
(both laughing)

Why even go to college?

Like join the Navy.

Mmm, this is so good.

Thank you.
Anyway,

she's always hated me,
she'll do anything to beat me,

and now she has
all the resources

of a powerful
law firm behind her.

I feel so bad

because I promised all these
people that I'd help them,

and I-I didn't know they'd
bring in, like, the big guns.

I also feel bad

because I'm working with Josh,

you know, the guy that

you lied to.
Oh.

Yeah, that Josh,
and I'm just,

I'm terrified if I fail

that he will lose
all respect for me.

Hey, look, no matter what,
I believe in you,

and that's what matters, right?

No.

Okay, uh, honey, you have Bert,
your water expert, right?

And you have all his research,
which you verified.

You have plaintiffs
from all over the Valley.

You're case is rock solid.

I just wish I had that one piece
of irrefutable evidence.

You'll find it.

Thanks for listening.

Yeah.

Okay, you can sleep at the foot
of my bed tonight.

Really?
Yeah.

Like a dog?

Yes, Trent, like a dog.

Okay.

Ugh, please don't
look that excited.

It's just how I look.

PAULA:
You let him sleep
on your floor?

Uh, it's fine,
he didn't touch me.

And also,
it wasn't weird.

I wore my bathing suit.

Please forget Trent.
Where are the plaintiffs?

We confirmed 50 people.

Traffic wasn't this bad
coming in from the east.

You don't think
I should've specified

that it's a legal court,
not a food court, do you?

Maybe they got scared.

Yeah, taking on

a big corporation
in a big city is scary.

Maybe they feel like they
don't deserve to be heard.

You spend your whole
life bottling away

what you need
to let out.

Like a dormant volcano
just waiting to erupt.

What is up with you lately?

DARRYL:
I don't know.

Oh, look, Josh.
Hi, Josh.

Oh, there's Josh,
he's going to think

I'm such a loser.

Hey, Josh, hi.

Hi.
Wow, where is everyone?

Wow, where is everyone?

I was just in the snack bar,
there's no on in there.

But don't worry,
I got Skittles,

so I wouldn't get
chocolate on my new suit.

Isn't it great?

It was expensive,
so I put it on my credit card,

'cause I know
we're going to win.

Yes, that is right,

we are going to win this,
big man.

Yeah.
Hey, guys.

Oh, a person.

Ugh, God, it's just
White Josh and his eight-pack.

DARRYL:
What are you doing here?

Uh, I came for
moral support.

Oh, for Josh.

No, dude.

Came to support you.

As friends, don't worry.

I'm not going to grab your
junk in public or anything.

Don't do that.

J.K., dude.
J.K.?

J.K. Rowling?

J.K., just kidding.
Stands for just kidding.

Oh, just kidding.
JOSH:
WiJo.

Oh.
Oh, hey, buddy.

Hey.

This is a disaster.

No one showed.

Josh is going to lose
all respect for me.

(exhales)
Okay.

All right,
I'm just going to ovary-up,

and I'm going tell Josh that

this didn't work out, and...

And Monrovia is here.

El Monte is here.

South El Monte is here.

North El Monte is here.

Josh...

all the El Montes are here.

Sorry we were late.

There was traffic on the 10.

Anyway, we are here to
stand up for our rights.

We deserve hot water
and decent water pressure.

And we deserve
clean dishes.

* Can you hear
a trickling sound? *

* That's the
leaky sink of change *

* It's a drip, drip, drip

* That no handyman can fix

* For we shall not be ignored

* Till our honor is restored

* And your basement is flooded

* With justice

* Soon the raging waters

* Will crash upon the shore

* When we sing
of raging waters *

* It's not just a metaphor

* What we mean is

* It's also

* A water park in San Dimas

* But that's an aside

* It's not what
we're marching for *

* Can you hear
a trickling sound? *

* That's the
faulty faucets of truth *

* It's a drip, drip, drip

* That will make you go

What is that?

* We shall not be denied

* Till we restore our pride

* And then we'll all go

* To Raging Waters

And we'll ride Dr. Von Dark's
Tunnel Of Terror!

Good idea, Baldwin Park.

Yeah!

* For we have had enough

* Of Hollywood stealing
our water *

* They're probably using it

* To make party drugs
and Oscars *

* Our precious water
shouldn't be *

* Funneled to celebrities

* No more water for BJ Novak's
ecstasy factory *

What?

* Can you hear
a trickling sound? *

* That's the janky shower
of glory *

* A drip, drip, drip

* That will keep you up

* All night, and then

* You'll be late for work

* And you won't be able
to focus *

* And you'll come home
to a basement *

* That's been flooded

* Flooded with justice...!

You ready?

Well, back to the
ol' ecstasy factory.

Excuse me.

(TV changing channels)

What are you looking for?

Uh, oh, wait,

I found it.

It's that water trial
that Rebecca's doing.

It's on local cable access.

I think it already started.

REBECCA:
Your Honor,

we are all here today,

to try and redress
an egregious injustice.

KEVIN:
Here you go.

Hey, look at that!

It's Rebecca on the TV.

She's one of our regulars.

The one that orders those

custom cheeseburger pizzas.

Look, everyone, look!

It is classic case of the
common man being exploited

by corporate interests.

And I will prove today...

Man, she looks hot in her
little legal outfit, right?

I'd pound that gavel.

Guys, nobody wants
to watch this silly trial.

What are you...

Hey!
(all grumbling)

Yes, they do.

JUDGE:
You may call your first witness.

Okay, it looks like we've missed
opening arguments,

but Rebecca's about
to present her witnesses.

I call to the stand,
Joshua Chan.

KEVIN:
That's Josh!

(laughs)
Hey, he's also one
of our regulars.

He drinks his beer

right out of the bottle.

I love that guy.
Shh!

I'm just trying to
hear the testimony.

(pounding loudly)

Now, Josh, can you confirm
HEATHER:
What is your problem?

that you were
the first person

to alert the council
of this problem?

Uh, yes, I can confirm
that I was the one

who alerted Ms. Bunch
to the water situation.

We noticed the hot water
going out about a month ago.

And I told my wife, "I hate you,
what did you do to the water"?

Then I realized
it wasn't her fault.

We just thought,
"Hey, we're from Alhambra.

Maybe we just don't deserve a
fancy Los Angeles hot shower."

Let me be the first person
to tell you, you do.

She's doing great.

Greg, you see how great
our girl is doing?

Not my girl.

Not interested.

Next, I would like
to call to the stand

a former employee
of Greater City Water,

and a water technology expert...

That's me.

Excuse me.

Bert, thank you so much
for being here today.

My pleasure.

Oh, and thank you for
buying me this new suit.

It feels so good
against my bare skin.

I don't believe
in underwear.

So those documents
you have in your hand,

tell me, what are those, Bert?

That is research that
I've been compiling for years.

First, when I worked
at Greater City Water,

and then when I worked
on a very extensive

independent research project

nobody asked for
or wanted to read.

That is, until you, Ms. Bunch.

Your Honor,
I present exhibits A through X.

Careful with that.

JUDGE:
Your witness, Ms. Levine.

Oh, my God, look,

the scary opposing lawyer's
coming over now.

(bar patrons booing)
Boo!

Scary lawyer lady, boo.

You suck.

I do not like
the look of her.

It looks like she orders
everything on the side.

Hello, Bert.

Hello, Ms. Lawyer.

What is your degree in?

Advanced hydro-engineering.

I have two Ph.D.s,
as a matter of fact.

Wow, impressive.

Those are excellent credentials.

Thank you.

And how long did you work
at Greater City Water?

15 years.

Great, and how long have you
been a diagnosed schizophrenic?

16 years.

(gallery exclaiming)

No further questions,
Your Honor.

Wait, what?

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

Thought you weren't interested.

I'm not.

(gavel banging on TV)

REBECCA:
Your Honor, uh,

may we take a brief recess?

Yes, a-a recess
so that I can go home.

The court will sit in recess.
(bangs gavel)

He has a diagnosed of what...?

(low, overlapping chatter)

(sighs heavily)

What am I going to do?

She just knocked out Bert.

I mean, we can't lose him,

he's most of our case.

No, Trent, uh-uh,
uh-uh, not now.

PAULA:
Tucked in turtleneck.

That's not a look
you see every day.

Hey, I'm sorry
to interrupt, babe,

but I have something for you.

That's really sweet,
but I'm not hungry right now.

No, I didn't cook today.

Instead, I hacked into the
Greater City Water server,

and I got you these.

These are e-mails.

These are e-mails that...
(laughs softly)

that clearly expose a cover-up.

Yeah.

Oh...

Oh, my God.

This is great.

This is great,
we can win the case with these.

Can I sleep in the bed now?

No.

Uh, just let me answer.

I mean, these are amazing.

We, we could win the case
in a second.

Trent, Trent, Trent.

Oh, thank you so much, um,
but now, please leave.

Okay. Good luck.

Yeah, okay.

He looks like a Kennedy,

but a sober one.

Yeah, I figured it out.

It's like if two
Kennedy cousins mated.

(gasps)
Totally.
Yeah.

Okay, listen,
I want you to win this case

more than anyone,

but if anybody finds out
that this is stolen,

you, you are in
big trouble.

I mean, who's going
to tell them, Trent?

He won't, especially if I let
him sleep in the bed tonight.

Paula, we need this to win.

All those people
are counting on us.

Think about it,

if Audra Levine had these,
would she use it?

Yes, because she is a monster.

JUDGE:
Be seated.

Recess has ended.

Ms. Bunch, do you have
any more evidence,

or are you ready for
your closing statement?

Yes, Your Honor.

I, um...

I... would...

I...

Something's wrong.

What's going on?

I, um...

YOUNG AUDRA:
Let's play slaps.

Ha.

When I grow up,

I'm going to be the
best at everything.

Me, too.

I'm going to get into
all the best colleges.

I'm going to get
all the best jobs.

(groans)
I'm going to live
in the best house,

and the best
second house.

Well, I'm going
to be the happiest.

What? That's stupid.

Who cares about
being happy?

Your Honor, what's going on?

Is she having a stroke?

Why is she staring at me?

Ms. Bunch?

Yes.

Sorry.

Your Honor,

this case really comes down
to a few simple facts,

and one of the
most important facts

is that people who live

not 45 minutes from here,

two hours in rush hour,
are being

relentlessly exploited
by a big fancy, greedy,

Los Angeles corporation.

Now, our documents prove that,

and I hope you don't
rule out Bert's evidence

just because, you know,
he's got a few issues.

Don't we all?

Yeah.

You know...

...six months ago,

I would have tried
this case very differently...

...but now, I'm a resident
of the San Gabriel Valley,

and all I can do

is hold myself
to the same standard

of integrity and honesty
of the people I represent.

Your Honor,

this is a community of decent,
hardworking people,

and they deserve a voice
just as much as anyone else.

So no matter what happens today,
win or lose,

I'm going to continue
to fight for them

until they receive justice.

That's all I got.

(mouthing)

Did you see that?

She's crazy.

Who goes into a courtroom
and says all of that?

She's... she's...

Oh, my God, I know
what's happening.

What?
Look,

I've seen a lot
of Hallmark movies

and the look on
people's faces

before they run and
confess their feelings,

that's your face.

No, no, no.

I used to like her, but...

But you still do,

and I don't want to be
your backup plan.

What are you saying?

I'm saying...

* Don't settle for me

What?
* Come on, dude

* Don't settle for me

* Trust me

* I know guys

* And that look in your eyes

* Means you're in love

Love?

Who are you all of a sudden?

Shut up and listen
to my wise reprise.

* We've had some fun together

* Hold on a second, Heather

* But I need, like,
so much more *

* I'm way too badass

* To be someone you settle for

Go see her, okay?

(sighs)

JUDGE:
Be seated.

(gavel bangs)
Recess has ended.

We are back in session.

Ms. Bunch.

I would like to begin by saying,

I truly admire your
dedication to your clients,

and the amount of passion
that you have for this case.

But I am afraid that
Ms. Levine and her colleagues

have raised sufficient doubts
about your evidence,

and therefore,

I must find in favor
of the defendants,

Greater City Water.
(gallery exclaiming)

Thank you,
this court is adjourned.

(gavel bangs)

AUDRA:
Yes!

(clears throat)
Excellent.
(laughs)

Hi, everyone.

Um,

everyone, I, uh...

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

(rhythmic clapping)

* We have heard
the trickling sound *

* It's the faulty faucet
of truth *

* It's a drip, drip, drip

* That fills us all with pride

* Slow clap, slow clap

* Yes, we never saw the lies

* Slow clap, slow clap

* Until you opened our eyes

* Now let's

* All

* Go to

* Raging Waters...

I don't understand.

They're not mad at me?

PAULA:
Mad at you?

You stood up to the bully.

You gave them a voice.

(chuckles)

I am so proud of you.

Um, I'm just going to pack up.

I'll meet you outside, okay?

Well, it was a thrill
going up against you.

Thank you, Audra.

Especially, because now,
I think we can agree,

that I've just won,
in general.

Yes, yes, you have.

But here's the thing.

You beat someone who
doesn't exist any more.

Yeah, I don't care.
A win's a win.

Hey, Audra.

Take care of yourself, okay?

I know how hard
your life can be.

Don't forget to be happy,

'cause that's really important.

I am happy.

I'm so happy.

This is what happy feels like.

This is what
happy feels like.

Why aren't you happy?

Why aren't you happy? Okay.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, Josh.

Look, I am so sorry.

I'm sorry I asked you to hide.

It was not right.

(loudly):
I am bisexual!

I'm going for drinks
with this gay man,

whom I have a crush on.

He's way out of your
league-- nice job.

WHITE JOSH:
Hey, back off, dude.

He looks like Tom Selleck.

Sorry about that.

Well, should we go
for that drink?

Yes, we...
Right there.

Under, yeah,
there you go.
Okay.

(clears throat)
(laughs)

Ms. Bunch?
I'm Paul Ramirez

from the metro desk
at the paper.

You might have lost,

but I think you've uncovered
the biggest local story

since the City of Bell scandal,

and I promise you,

we're going to get
to the bottom of it.

We will not less this go.

Great.

Hey, um...

This should help
get you started.

You didn't get that from me.

I mean, you, look,
you did get that from me,

but if anyone asks you,

"Did you get... "
No, I get it, I get it.

Right, you get phrases, right.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

I, uh,

brought you some chocolate.

We can mess up
our clothes, now.

Thanks.

Hey, um, I'm sorry.

Stop.

You were brave.

You were like Rocky.

Or...

Creed, at-at least.

But, but which I loved.

Rebecca.

You're not perfect.

No one is.

You tried really hard today.

I just wanted to
make everyone happy.

And, I don't know,

I wanted you to
be proud of me.

You wanted me to be
proud of you?

I didn't know you thought
about me that much.

Of course I do.

Well, do you think
about me, like, too?

Oh, Greg, I'm sorry.

You're a nice guy,
you really are,

but, I mean,
those two in there,

they were just
meant to be.

I mean, you have
to see that now.

Okay, I understand,
but are you sure I have to go?

Yes, Trent.

But I never got a chance
to read you something.

I wrote you a letter.

Okay, fine.

Okay.

* Dear Rebecca Nora Bunch...

Nope, uh-uh.

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