Original subtitles

It's

a room of comedians.

Dangerous. Dangerous. Hi, I'm Steve.

Will.

Nice to meet you.

Hi, Beth.

Beth.

Tim.

Tim. It's a hard name to remember. And

Nalan.

Nalan. How are you? Great to see you.

Great to have you all together. Hey, I

just want to ask you, do you know each

other? Any of you know each other?

Tim and I know each other.

Yeah. And

me and Tim know each other.

From the circuit or from college or from

the circuit?

From the circuit.

Yeah.

So from a different circuit. Yeah. But

Yeah.

And do all of you do standup or are you

more writers or what? I know you're a

stand-up because I I saw your transcript

of your bit and I know that you're a

stand-up from reading your material.

I actually haven't done standup yet. Oh

yeah, that's my first

Oh, fantastic. Well, you're on your way,

I'll tell you. That's good. And you're

essentially writers or

I do I'm a stand up. Yeah.

You stand up

and mostly writing. Yeah.

Mhm.

And uh Will, how how did you get into

it? How long have you been doing it?

I've been doing it about nine years now.

Do you travel across the country or is

it kind of more local or?

Uh right now I'm mostly based in New

York, but I I just headlined my first

show in Cincinnati, like a club weekend.

How big was it?

150 200.

That's a good size.

It was.

And how was it?

It was cool. It was great. The uh there

were a couple that felt like work.

Mhm.

Then there were there was like one or

two that were really fun and then

the rest were just like okay like good.

That's that's by the way a typical week.

Okay. Yeah. You know, there's no there's

no like end of a week where you say

every show was fantastic.

Even if they were fantastic, there's

always one that's, you know, a little

bit Well, that one, you know, that one.

You go to bed at night and you kind of

feel a little miserable and you don't

know why. It took me years to figure out

do a show club and go home and I'd be

depressed. I think why am I depressed?

Oh, it was because the show wasn't good.

It was like oh really duh. And uh Tim uh

how what's your little bit of your

background? Your

uh I started doing improv uh like close

to nine years ago, maybe 10 years. That

seems to be a realist starting point for

people now is improv.

Well, it is that thing where there was

an improv group in college and that was

like the closest thing to

any kind of comedy that I was close to.

So, I started doing that. Um, and then I

started doing standup maybe like four

years ago.

Um, and then in between and

been sharing those together and then

sometimes it moves towards sketch and

acting and things. It's like a very

And what's the outlet today for a

sketch? Is it like an improv stage or a

I think improv stages tend to be where

it is though there there's a lot of

standup where there's that can be more

sketch or like character focused.

That's good. I'm going to ask you

something, Beth. Are you exclusively a

writer or do you have a day job or

um my day job is writing? I run a

satirical website. It's sort of like the

Onion meets Cosmo. It's called

Reductress.

Good. What's that called?

Reductris. Mhm.

And uh mostly I just try to do stuff

that goes into that. But like

sometimes I'll have ideas and then I'll

sort of just like jot it down for later

in the like I'll be like okay maybe this

is like a future book I'm going to write

or maybe this is

a movie or some like a TV show. I'll

just try to figure out where it will go

in the future.

That's perfect because also the material

I read by you is very coherent and and

that's that's good.

Yeah. Do you have a job?

I do tutor uh

in science.

Uhhuh.

Okay, that's good. And what's your

specialty in science?

Biology.

Where'd your interest in performing come

from?

Oh man. Um I think my mom

probably she was a dancer.

An Indian classical dancer.

Um and uh I've been singing and dancing

since I was very young.

I see.

Yeah. You know, I I was talking

yesterday that how the importance of

education in comedy and it it may not be

exclusively true. I'm sure there are

great examples, but the more you know,

the more you can utilize and the more

you become unique because of your

specialized

knowledge.

Let's talk about you first. You can

think about that, Nelony.

And you're thinking of going up

on stage at a club. That's what you're

thinking of.

I'm thinking about it. Yeah.

And how long you been thinking about it?

Um I'm in the uh the improv character

sketch world. I see in Los Angeles.

I see. Okay.

Um so I, you know, I've been surrounded

by stand-up comedians and I'm always

like, well, if I had something to say,

what would I say? Mhm.

And that's

right

the first wave of what I want to say.

Right.

So this is this is very interesting to

start because your piece I read it's a

lot of really good elements and

material.

Now I think this is very interesting

because this is all rough. It's never

been performed. Right.

So I I think it's something very

interesting to look at. And I really

like that some that it's uh relevant to

you. Only you could do this material

having your science background.

Yeah.

And also that's what kind of makes it

funny is it's

well I it's a little over the audience's

head in a good way.

And I think it uh and I think with

little trims here and there

uh it can really become a solid. Like,

so I'll just read some of this. I'm

sorry. I know. I'd rather read it than

have you stand up here in front of four

people. Believe me, I know that

situation.

Stand up set.

Your first stand up on television

in front of four critical people.

Exactly.

You know, all these women's rights

movements lately since the 1800s. since

the 1800s have got me thinking about my

fellow female species. I mean the female

human species.

We've come a long way in evolution.

Let's look at things what other female

species have been dealing with. Horrible

[ __ ] since the beginning of life on

Earth. I think this needs to be

clarified because I don't know what

you're talking about. I know what you're

talking about now because I've read it.

You're talking about species that aren't

human.

Right.

Right.

Say, you know, Yeah. I think you should

go. I was thinking about my fellow

female species. Sharks. Yeah.

Turtles, right? You know, all the these

these things that females have had to

put up with even before the dawn of man

or humans or whatever. And I think

you're just that's very clear all of a

sudden, right? Yeah.

I mean, you don't know. I said right and

you had to agree, but

Yeah.

Right.

Like, did you know that the genitals of

the how do you say this? Elasmo branch

genus

Mhm. elasmo branch. Yeah. How do you say

it again?

Elasmo branch.

Yeah. It sounds good. It's funny because

it sounds like you're you're telling

something that people you're just

talking about an airline bit. You know,

that's what's so great. Did you know the

genitals of the elast branch genus which

includes sharks raising skates have

pointy double penis?

I think she's leave out rays and skates.

Okay. say, you know, the last mob branch

uh jetus, you know, which is sharks.

Yeah.

They have they have a pointy double

penis.

Sharks were here on this planet way

before mammals came around.

I don't think you need that line.

Okay.

Yeah. Their reproductive organs are

called claspers. They used to deposit

sperm into the females cloaka. Is that

how you say it?

Mhm.

Yeah.

Can you imagine,

you know,

This would perhaps be a good time to

mention that cloakas are equally weird.

They are singular. They are the singular

opening found in some animals that are

used for urination, mating, and

defecation. One giant ass pe vagina.

Okay.

Yeah. Now you say, "No, thank you. I

wish I had known what female sharks have

to go through before I had my first

sexual encounter. It would have been

less painful for the guy." I don't quite

understand that.

Uhhuh.

But you're on to something

something there.

Just say I I think you've started a

premise that is really nicely clear.

It's like your predecessors, your female

predecessors that that a shark claspers

that use it sperm into females cloaka.

And this created awful opportunities for

harassment. You know, something I don't

know. Just kind of stay on take them

back to the real world maybe. I don't

know.

Yeah. Like any proper good Indian girl,

I have never seen a pen I had I had

never seen a penis before and was

terrified.

You know, you know, I had always heard

of those unwanted non-consensual male

aggressors. So, my first hand job I

gave, I was so scared of that thing. I

squeezed the living [ __ ] out of it like

I was churning butter with it. It was a

reflex reaction. Poor guy. He pulled

down his pants and they went into attack

mode like I was about to get robbed and

bam, squeeze, turn, squeeze. I'm sorry,

Andy. It's like Andy.

Andy. Oh, okay. Air quoting. Yeah. I'm

sorry, Andy.

Yeah,

you could point to a guy in the

audience, you know. Uh, it was my first

time. Not as scary as shark penises,

though. Yeah, that's like a whole new

level. I guess the only good thing about

having a shark's ass pee vagina might be

is that if I saw one of these male shark

claw penises, I could just poop on it.

I see what you're talking about because

it's coming out of the asp vagina. Is

that right?

Yeah. If I were a female shark.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I see. If you have to say if I were a

female shark,

right? Yeah. To make that

It sounds like it's uh

you you don't want to have that.

Yeah. We don't we don't want that image.

Maybe that would deter them. I don't

know.

You could say they are men. Yeah.

You know, they might not be deterred.

Yeah.

Uh I hear some people

I hear some people like that though.

Okay. Uh guys, I don't know. I don't

watch the internet for that. Clearly, I

watch nature uh documentaries. They're

terrifying enough. I don't think you

need to go on after that. I mean,

I just think it needs to be a little

more organized. You know, if you're

going on about the shark penis

and about the the hand job thing, it

seems like it's in the way, but it's

good. It could come later. Okay?

Because once you establish,

you're talking about the shark penis,

then you go on. I guess the good thing

about having a shark's pus is that if I

were a female shark and I saw the I

could just I have the you have to say

the ass thing first. Yeah. Yeah. So you

have

and say I could just poop on it, you

know,

and that's the conclusion of that.

Yeah. Yeah. And then end it there.

And you can also say, you know, add

things like,

you know, I've I've got the aspie

vagina. I got to use it. you know, like

you know, if you're gonna poop on

and then maybe go to the hand job thing,

by the way, we don't even know you and

we're sitting here.

Uh,

so the I've never say uh I'm just trying

to think where this bit other bit goes

like any proper good Indian girl never

seen the penis before and was terrified.

You know, I'd have heard those unwanted

male aggressors.

I have to make that clear.

Well, it's No, that's fine. It just

needs to go somewhere that's its own

bit.

It feels like it doesn't really relate.

You're in shark world,

right?

And you just just tighten that down

because you're really you've got a good

subject. You're talking about,

you know, females before you and you're

talking about sharks and how they have

to deal with the double penis and thank

God they've got

the aspie vagina that to counter it. So

nature worked perfectly,

right? you know, so any aggressors just

tighten that thought.

Do you have any thoughts about how you

might attempt to initiate a little

standup like

Yeah. I mean, I did work at a a comedy

club in LA

uh for a while. So I

as a what?

As like a host. Like as a hostess.

So you saw things saw people.

Yeah. Like constantly. and the open

mics. I guess I'd have to first go to an

open mic.

Yeah, I assume so. You guys would know

better than I do.

Yeah.

Um, and I think I mean, you know, I've

seen what works really well is people

calling out their look or what they look

like and what maybe the audience is

perceiving them to be right away.

because I don't know how many you know

people look like me going on stage

today.

There are a few wonderful Indian

comedians but

I think maybe calling that out first.

Um

I think that's probably the obvious

thing to do and and in in maybe in a

good way. Um

but I always I started to think

why mention it at all? M

you could do that or mention that later,

you know, so it's not you're you're not

defining yourself

as a, you know, type.

Yeah.

But you could, you know, if you wait

five minutes, if you can get that much

material, I know it's hard. Five minutes

is really hard. And then say you may

have noticed, you know, or uh

something just so it's not your defining

characteristic.

Yeah. And actually that's probably one

of the reasons because I do so much

character and sketch. and um

all other different forms of comedy

writing. And I've kind of stayed away

from standup a little bit because I feel

like it like puts you in this

box for some reason like oh this is this

comedian and this is all she has to say.

I don't know. Like that's the feeling.

Yeah,

might be smart just to take it like

I'm a comedian because I think the

audience is kind of waiting for it. If

you say if you open with may have

noticed I'm Indian,

you know, might be kind of waiting for

it

and then it feels like oh she's going to

talk about being an Indian for 20

minutes, right? You know,

right? Right.

And it would be kind of cool just to do

some really like your sexual stuff. is

funny, you know,

and then and then kind of bring it in

later, you know. Yeah. I I I think,

you know,

it's very uh very touchy today to

talk about race. It's just a

it's a tricky subject

and uh I think the comedy club is may I

mean you tell me is it a safe place to

talk about race or people go

you get people yelling out every now and

then if you talk about race in a way

that is maybe accurate but like makes

you feel like a victim then

they yell out now sometimes and uh good

clubs will police that but

sometimes they they don't and so you

just get somebody yelling at you and

you're like I'm just telling jokes I

don't know why this is going on. Yeah,

that's tough.

Yeah.

Um, it's a tough climate out there. And

it's probably room

for someone

who has courage because that's what it

would take, you know, to really go after

it, to really start being political.

Marty and I have done shows together and

we do a lot of political jokes, but he

does it in character.

Yeah.

And when you do it in character, it's

very different. He does it as Jiminy

Glick.

Oh, yeah. And so you can you can say a

lot of things because it's not

essentially it's not us. And whenever he

says something outrageous, I go,

"Jiminy, how can you say that?" You

know, it's like a you know, the

ventriloquist dummy can say a lot of

things that the the ventriloquist can't.

Yeah.

You know,

I'm just sitting here musing on, you

know, the nature of a joke writing or a

bit writing and it's always for a

purpose. So I started thinking about you

who've never been on stage before and it

just came to me like you could go on and

and say, "Good evening. Um, this is my

first time ever performing on stage and

I can't believe how well it's going.

I thought there would be a learning

curve, but it's it's already, you know,

I'm I'm on the ascendancy. I can feel

it, you know, just kind of little

self-deprecating and funny to kick you

off and and get you going.

Yeah. Anyway,

yeah.