Original subtitles

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them, which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

We're ready, sir.

Of the 10 women you selected...

the computer has chosen this one.

Mm. The computer has good taste.

Who is she?

Jennifer Hart.

Hmm. Beautiful.

Tell me about her.

She was born on a small horse farm

in Maryland in 1949 to Suzanne and Steven...

Please, Mr. Caine. Spare me the gruesome childhood details.

Sorry, sir.

Her undergraduate education was at Vassar and Smith.

Majored in languages.

Just get on with the woman, would you please?

She's an expert skier, sailor and...

Oh, yes. She has taken several cracks

at some of the major peaks in Europe and the Himalayas.

It's extraordinary.

Yes. She should be perfect.

There is one minor problem.

What's that?

A husband.

Jonathan Hart.

Jonathan Hart. Hart.

Why do I know that name?

Hart Industries.

His company has had occasion to handle

various projects for us.

Yes, I recall.

It won't be difficult

to arrange for the woman's widowhood.

Not for you, I'm sure.

Then I should... arrange it?

Yes.

But one thing.

Sir?

I want to be there...

to be the first to comfort the grieving widow.

The perfect ending to a perfect dinner.

To...

a wonderful couple on their anniversary.

You know, you guys have been together five years...

but me and Mr. H, well,

I got so many candles on my birthday cake,

I want to forget about it.

Here's to the next 50 years, darling.

I'll drink to that.

Cheers.

I love you both.

Mmm.

Darling...

you've been wanting to tell me something all night.

It's about that, uh...

long weekend in New York.

I shouldn't pack?

Well, you know about the Lawson deal?

Uh-huh.

Well, um... that's gonna have to be

resolved this weekend.

Oh, darling. On our anniversary?

But there is, uh, one compensation.

Really?

Yes. A select group of people

have been invited to the museum this Saturday.

You see, uh, Dodsworth Nash is going to donate

part of his private art collection.

You're joking.

No. And the word is

that the man himself is going to be there.

I can't believe it.

Dodsworth Nash is gonna expose himself to the public

over a mere museum donation?

How's he gonna arrive?

In an airtight bag?

I knew you'd understand.

And, uh... for that...

I got you a little, uh...

token from New York.

A token from New York, huh? Yeah.

A token from New York.

Ah!

A token from New York. Ha!

Uh, there is a, uh, small string attached.

Ah, yes. I can see that.

See, I thought, uh, that

and the token from New York could, uh, buy me some time.

Time?

It will buy you a lot more than time.

Ah.

Aw.

I love you.

Mmm.

Do you like it?

Look at the size of that stone.

I wanted to get the 5 carat...

You know, one for each year

but, uh, they only had the 10 carat in stock.

Oh. Too bad.

Well, I thought you could grow into it.

Well, you really did a wonderful job, Vera,

And in such a short time.

Mm-hm. You found a perfect spot for it.

Well, when Mohammed called,

we got the mountain ready in a hurry.

Something he probably found in his closet.

Or the garage. I'm not sure.

You think I'm gonna know what it is when I see it?

Probably not. It's an early Callandre.

It's going to be perched right on that balancing girder.

Mr. Nash wanted to be here when we set it.

You think he's gonna show?

Well, they said 2:00 sharp. They should be g...

Oh, I don't believe it.

Here he is now.

It's a pleasure to see you, Mr. Nash.

Uh, thank you. Thank you very much.

I'm very happy I could make it.

Jonathan Hart.

Mr. Nash, how are you, sir?

I do reasonably well, thank you, sir.

I don't believe you've met my wife, Jennifer.

Mrs. Hart. How do you do?

How do you do?

I think it's about time we met.

I know that you have executed a number of projects

for my company.

Yes, sir. I have.

Only you seem to have been away most of the time.

The unfortunate burden of industry.

But obviously, you're no stranger to that, um...

millstone.

Well, I try never to let business...

interfere with our pursuit for life.

Yes.

I'd like to introduce Mr. Nash to some of our patrons.

Unfortunately, Mr. Nash is on a very tight schedule,

so could we please get on with the ceremony?

Mr. Nash would like it as brief as possible,

and he will not be available for any remarks.

Of course. I'll... get started immediately.

Mr. Nash.

I must say that it is wonderful

what you're doing for the museum.

Oh, no, no.

To be perfectly frank with you,

that piece has just been sitting in storage, corroding.

Really?

Mm. Would you mind moving over there

to get out of the sun?

No. Not at all.

Ah.

You must come to my home sometime

if you really like to see exceptional beauty.

At the risk of sounding, uh, boastful,

I do have the world's foremost collection.

Do you?

And what do you specialize in?

Everything.

Isn't this an exciting day? Oh, boy.

Thank you for coming.

I'm so happy.

Ladies and gentlemen... Mr. Dodsworth Nash,

our honored guest and donor,

has honored us not only with his wonderful gift,

but also with his presence.

Without further ado,

we now unveil one of the earliest

and most-prized Callandres.

Gentlemen.

Thank you.

Thank you on behalf of the artist

and our generous donor, Mr. Dodsworth Nash.

We will now place this magnificent sculpture.

The, uh, roses are...

exquisite, don't you think?

Oh, they're beautiful.

Look out!

Darling.

Oh.

I think I'm losing my taste for modern art.

How is it, darling?

Nothing a couple of aspirin couldn't cure.

Well, at least we get a chance at those next 50 years.

Yeah. Thanks to Nash for pushing you out of the way.

We certainly owe him one for that.

We certainly do.

You know what I think? What?

I think we should confine our intellectual pursuits

to, uh, poetry reading.

Hm?

I'll go along with that.

Why don't you get some sleep, and um...

I think I could use it.

Mm.

The patient is resting comfortably.

What's his condition?

He has a goose egg and a slightly wrenched arm.

Please accept my profound apologies

for causing you both such terrible anguish.

Oh, that's very kind, Mr. Nash, but it wasn't your fault.

You're most understanding.

On the contrary.

It's we who owe you a debt of gratitude.

No, ho, ho.

It was nothing.

Well... I don't know how we're ever gonna pay you back.

Ooh, I'm sure we'll figure something out.

Hm.

I can assure you, sir, I won't fail again.

I can assure you you won't either.

I still can't quite understand what happened.

Then let me explain.

You didn't get me Jennifer Hart.

I think part of the problem with the crane operator

was his concern about hitting you, sir.

The crane operator is a loose end

which I will leave to you.

Thank you, sir.

She's absolutely perfect.

I must have her.

Perhaps another unfortunate accident for Mr. Hart?

Something more definitive this time.

Mm. No. That's too...

That's too coincidental.

Maybe there's no need to eliminate Hart.

After all, when we added the snow leopard

to our collection, we didn't kill her mate.

We didn't even ask permission.

We simply spread the net and took her.

No, in this case, I think

we'll just light the candle...

and see if we can lure the moth to the flame.

Oh.

They're absolutely beautiful.

Well, I can't believe the reclusive Dodsworth Nash

resorting to such overt acts of consideration.

Maybe he's just misunderstood.

I'll get it, Max.

Hello.

Jennifer?

Dodsworth Nash.

Why, Mr. Nash.

Your flowers just arrived.

They're absolutely beautiful.

Not at all.

How is Jonathan?

Coming along nicely, thank you.

Well, that's good to hear.

Um, Jennifer,

I'm giving a small dinner party tomorrow evening.

I'd be very happy if you'd join me.

Dinner?

Well, that's very nice,

but I don't know about Jonathan.

He's not been cutting his meat too well these days.

Oh, I see. Well, maybe you could cut it for him,

or you could come as the official representative

of the Hart domain.

Well, uh... May I call you tomorrow?

Yes, of course. But, heh, please don't disappoint me.

I'll look forward to seeing both of you.

Or you alone.

Seven-thirty sharp. Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

Flowers. Now dinner.

Maybe he's... just shy.

Darling, he didn't amass a billion dollars being shy.

Would you like a second opinion?

No, but I think we're gonna get it anyway.

I don't like the guy in no way. He's weird.

He's eccentric, Max.

Weird. With his gloves and that no-touching business.

Any guy who's that hung up on germs is a wacko.

Uh, how do you really feel about him?

Max... how about dinner?

What do you think about the invitation?

What do I think about it?

Darling, it would be like going to the hospital.

And I want to tell you... I wouldn't miss it

for all the disinfectant in the broom closet.

Um, it's a lovely dinner.

How was your bouillon?

Adequate.

Thank you.

It's a pity the, uh, other guests

couldn't have joined us.

Mm. Yes, yes.

Quite.

You have a beautiful house, Mr. Nash.

Thank you. Course, it's getting a little small

to house my... collection.

Yes, we've, um... heard a lot about your collection.

Mostly rumors, I'm sure.

Nobody has ever seen it.

Really?

Really. It exists only for my pleasure,

but, of course, if you want to see it,

I'll be more than happy to show it to you.

Well, we're very flattered. Aren't we, darling?

Yes, very flattered.

I, uh...

Very glad that you felt up to coming.

Oh, thank you.

I wouldn't have missed it, uh...

for all the disin... Jonathan.

Was, uh...

anxious to get out of the sickbed.

Mm.

To your very good health.

Oh my, Jonathan.

Look at the size of this diamond.

The Star of Washington.

Two hundred and 10 carats.

Two hundred and 10?

Jonathan, do you fly?

Yes, I do.

Ah. Then these sketches

will probably be very interesting to you.

Leonardo's concepts for a flying machine.

Oh, these are da Vinci's?

Of course.

Oh, that's amazing.

Oh, I thought anything of his would be in a museum.

Oh. Yes, but even some museums are willing to sell

if the price is right.

Actually, these pieces get more care

and better care here than in many typical museums.

You might notice that everything is hermetically sealed

under glass.

In fact, the very air we're breathing

has been filtered to help keep out the impurities.

I happened to notice that, uh, one of the cases

that is hermetically sealed is, uh, broken.

Did you see it?

Oh. Dear, dear, dear.

You're right.

Yes, thank you for pointing it out.

Is that what I think it is?

My most beautiful specimen.

Our snow leopard.

She gets a bit noisy around dinnertime.

Do you also collect animals, Mr. Nash?

Oh, yes.

Not as many as Noah...

but an adequate representation.

I don't mean to... appear rude,

but do you keep them in cages as well?

Glass cages?

Oh, yes. Of course.

I care for them. I protect them.

You see, here they're safe from predators.

There are all kinds of predators, Mr. Nash.

Forgive me if I've offended you...

uh, but I feel that all of their needs are attended to.

I'm sure they are.

Except, of course, their need to be free.

Is that all right?

Yeah, it's better, thanks.

Good.

Actually, if I keep living like this,

I may never want to go back to work.

Be patient.

Just a few more days.

You'll be good as new.

What is it?

Oh, I forgot the mustard.

Oh, we can live without that.

You can, maybe, but I can't.

Look. There's a hot dog stand.

I'm gonna run over there and see if he has any.

Go ahead, start without me.

Mrs. Hart.

Hello.

Aren't you, uh...?

Mr. Caine. Mr. Nash's aide.

That's right. Is Mr. Nash here?

No.

But he's very desirous of having a word with you,

so I would appreciate your coming with me.

Oh, well, that's inconvenient right now.

We're having a picnic. You're welcome to join us.

I'm afraid you don't understand.

Mr. Nash is waiting for you.

And you don't seem to understand, Mr. Caine.

You are standing between me and my mustard.

I'm afraid I must insist, Mrs. Hart.

You see that man over there?

He's armed and exceedingly unfriendly.

Now, if you'll be cooperative,

there will be no need to add to your husband's injury.

Jennifer!

Hey. Aren't you Jonathan Hart?

I think you'll find everything to your satisfaction.

Look in that closet, Mrs. Hart.

All your favorite colors, I believe.

You haven't touched your salad.

That was from Le Petit Enfant,

with all that wonderful piquant lemon dressing

that you so enjoy.

If the fare doesn't please you,

by all means, order whatever you wish.

How, uh... How long do you intend to keep me here?

As long as you remain an object of perfection.

You're completely mad.

I understand your anger.

It may take a little getting used to,

but I have created a perfect world.

No violence. No crime. No filth.

And anything... anything that you desire...

is yours.

I desire to leave.

And in time, I do look forward

to communicating with you.

You'll find me a very interesting person.

You don't seriously think

I'd have anything to do with you?

Please. I have no intention

of forcing an intimacy on you.

You are simply a beautiful...

precious object.

Like the rest of your collection?

One of a kind.

Max. Did you speak to Landers at the bank?

The ransom money is all ready to go at any time.

I can't figure out why they haven't called.

Here. Take this. What's that?

The prescriptions from the doctor.

Oh, Max, I don't feel like any pills

and stuff like that now.

Come on, Mr. H. Give me a break. You're out of bed.

At least take the pills.

The doctor will take away my nursing license.

That must be it.

Hello?

Mr. Hart, please.

Yes, this is Mr. Hart.

I have something that, uh,

I think you'd be very interested in hearing.

Is it about Jennifer?

Yeah, you and her.

And you know that park that's by your house?

Yes, I do.

Well, do you think maybe in, like, 20 minutes?

And Mr. Hart...

um, I think that you'll like my story a lot.

So could you bring a little appreciation?

How much?

Five thousand dollars?

Five thousand dollars.

You got it. I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Five thousand dollars. I don't get that.

Yeah, why so little?

Anyway, I'll be riding shotgun.

No, I'll do this one alone, Max.

You call the bank, have 'em meet me at the curb.

Tell them I'll be there in 10 minutes.

Well, what about the pill?

You take it.

Mr. Hart?

How's my wife?

How would I know? I want to talk to you about the accident.

What accident?

At the museum with Dodsworth Nash.

Uh... It... It was no accident.

My boyfriend, Carl...

he was supposed to get $50,000 to make that happen.

He was the guy that was on the crane.

Nash's gorilla.

Caine set that whole thing up.

You were supposed to get it, and...

And Nash was gonna save your wife.

Why?

I-I-I don't know.

Maybe he has a thing for her.

You were supposed to get it,

and I guess that the whole thing got backfired.

Since you didn't get it, Carl didn't either.

The 50, I mean.

I mean, you know, we were

supposed to get married,

and we were gonna go someplace nice.

And now Carl's disappeared, and I don't know where he is.

I know that they've done something to him.

You don't know anything about my wife?

How would I know that?

You're telling me the truth?

Here. Oh, no.

I didn't want to take that.

I just wanted you to know that I was serious,

so... So that you'd show up.

Take it.

Well, just please get that guy.

He... He ain't healthy.

He's got her, Max.

He's got her in that house.

Take it easy, Mr. H.

With all due respect, Mrs. H is sure beautiful,

but I can't imagine him snatching her.

With all his dough, he can buy

any woman in the world.

That's it.

You just said it.

I said something?

What did I say?

Nash...

has added Jennifer to his collection.

Mr. H, I think those pills are having an...

No, no, no. I know that sounds crazy, Max.

But Nash said...

he's collected the best of everything.

And he's collected Jennifer.

We've got to get in that house.

Wait a minute, Mr. H.

You can't get into that house without a search warrant.

And the cops will never give you one

for a guy with his connections.

Maybe the police can't... but we can.

How we gonna get into the house?

I think I know a crack in the armor.

Come on.

Who called you?

What do I know who called me?

I'm just a glass man.

You got a piece of busted glass, I fix it.

Come on up.

That's only my glass cutter.

Tools of the trade.

Thank you. Thank you.

I don't know which one.

The person who called just say second floor.

Oh, Mr. Caine, did you call about a broken box?

No. But the case with the Bible is cracked.

That's the one all right.

I fix up this baby shipshape.

Hey. Before I work on the case,

don't you think you'd better shut off the alarm?

I'm not supposed to leave you alone.

Hey. Do I look like the kind of guy

that's gonna steal a Bible?

I'll shut off the alarm.

Caine?

Mr. Caine!

Yes, sir. What is it?

Hm, don't you smell it?

Oh, yes.

Find out what it is immediately.

And you'll have to open some windows.

But the air.

Which do you prefer? Fresh air or this?

And don't forget the alarm. It's already off, sir.

This case is being repaired.

The odor should clear up soon, sir.

Will you see that all windows are opened.

Yes, sir.

Nash.

Where is my wife?

She is in the safest possible place.

Please, Mr. Hart.

My associate has you well covered,

so don't try anything foolish.

I loathe the sight of blood.

I want my wife... and I want her now.

You know, Caine...

maybe we have found the perfect mate

for the perfect woman.

Mrs. Hart... I have a surprise for you.

Oh.

You all right, darling?

And I said... Mr. Caine,

we now have the perfect couple.

I'm sure, Jonathan, that you must be a reasonable example

of the male of the species,

although I haven't had a chance

to put you through the computer.

You're not really gonna be able to get away with this.

Oh, yes. I shall.

Which leads me to my second alternative.

And that is to... get rid of you both. Heh.

Start all over.

But, of course, that would be...

That would be a shame...

particularly in Jennifer's case.

Nash... the police know we're here.

Really?

And what do they intend to do?

Uh, r-raid the place?

That would do, for a start.

Highly unlikely.

However, if they do... this room is...

totally hidden.

Impossible to find.

Now... doesn't that make you feel safe?

So...

enjoy your reunion...

while you can.

What are we gonna do?

Well, we're not gonna stay here like pheasants under glass.

There's got to be a way to get out of here.

No, there isn't. I've tried everything.

Stand back.

If I may offer an opinion, sir?

Yes.

This whole affair has taken a bad turn.

Keep the woman if you wish,

but I'm for eliminating Hart.

Yes.

Well, what do you propose for his demise?

Max!

I thought they got you.

Not me.

I'm too slippery for 'em.

Hey. What's with this?

The whole room's surrounded in glass.

There's got to be a way to open this fishbowl.

There's got to be.

Why don't you just break it?

No, we tried that.

I'm just the man.

What's that?

My trusty glass cutter.

No glass man would be caught dead without one.

Max... I love you. Ah.

Mr. Caine! Oh, Mr. Caine.

Excuse me, sir. That glass man...

I went to turn the alarm off for him,

and now I can't find him.

The glass man.

Of course.

Mr. H, I think we got a problem.

I don't know how to use it.

Max... just, uh... score the glass.

Score?

Yeah. Score it.

Put the blade...

up against the gla... Easy.

Now, start cutting straight across.

Max.

I'll take that.

This is beginning to take on the appearance

of a... perfect family.

However, I must say that I don't like the looks

of this latest specimen,

so I'll leave him to you, Mr. Caine.

I suggest we put him on ice for the moment.

The snow leopard will need something to eat later,

after she's digested the remains of our crane operator.

Excellent idea, Mr. Caine.

Let's go.

Don't look so pained.

I want to keep all my animals happy.

Oh.

Darling, I think we're trapped.

I'm beginning to think I'm never

gonna grow into my ring.

Let me see your ring.

Maybe you will.

Diamonds are definitely

a girl's best friend.

Max. Mr. H.

How did you get away?

They put me in a glass box with some penguins,

but a good glass man always carries a spare.

They've gotten out.

Reactivate the security system,

and I'll alert the others downstairs.

I think it's time we start our own collection.

Come on.

Muller.

Muller, where are you?

There's no way out...

so you may as well stop trying.

Oh, darling.

Oh.

How did you get out?

Caine!

Muller!

You're on your own, Nash.

Stay away.

Don't touch me.

Your collecting days are over.

As a matter off fact, you'll probably be put

on permanent display in the state prison.

Oh, no.

I could never go to a place like that.

It's filthy.

It's cont... Contaminated.

Oh. You will adjust, Mr. Nash.

I'll give you... anything you want.

Anything you want!

Uh!

Blood.

I'm bleeding.

The perfect specimen. Wouldn't you say?

I'm dying.

Here we go, darling.

As promised, breakfast in bed.

Oh.

Uh, happy anniversary. Thank you.

Happy anniversary to you.

This is really great. Oh.

I think we'll get to New York by next week.

Oh, well. I'm sure we'll

get to New York sometime.

Uh... darling... there's a present for you.

It's wood.

Wood? Mm-hm.

Fifth anniversary: wood.

Oh, is that right? Mm-hm.

And I got you a diamond. I'm sorry, darling.

Oh. That's all right, darling. I'll forgive you.

- Chopsticks. - Ah.

Wooden chopsticks. Yeah.

That's great. Isn't it?

There's a card too.

Ah, you're so cute.

I love you for doing all this. Ah.

"This card entitles the bearer

and his most adoring wife..."

Uh-huh. "to the imperial feast

at the Royal Peking Palace."

Mm-hm.

Hey, that's wonderful.

Where is the Royal Peking Palace?

Peking.

China?

Mm-hm.

Well... have sticks, will travel.