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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,723 All right, this is it. 2 00:03:25,607 --> 00:03:27,361 - I'm proud of you, man. - Really? 3 00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:30,679 I'm gonna go in there and blow them away. All right, get out of here. 4 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,990 - You get out of here. - I'll see you later. 5 00:03:54,365 --> 00:03:55,918 Excuse me. Who's Rick? 6 00:03:57,597 --> 00:03:59,524 I'm trying as hard as I can. 7 00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:03,964 No, I don't think it was some electronic mouse, Stu. 8 00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:08,279 Can you help him? 9 00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,803 - Officer, could you just... - Hl, Rick? 10 00:04:15,596 --> 00:04:17,475 - Who are you? - Carter Doleman. 11 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,758 I think I'm supposed to start today? 12 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,953 We’ve just been robbed. 13 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,840 That sucks. 14 00:04:26,796 --> 00:04:30,315 Look, I just don't think they're gonna be needing anybody right now. 15 00:04:30,632 --> 00:04:33,068 I'm really sorry about that and wish you the best luck. 16 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,637 So you just want me to come back tomorrow? 17 00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:38,275 Same time, 10 o'clock? You know, same deal? 18 00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:41,151 Champ. Get lost. All right? 19 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:43,712 Thanks. 20 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,022 You're not going to say anything? 21 00:05:04,396 --> 00:05:05,988 Nothing? 22 00:05:07,953 --> 00:05:10,715 I give you three years of my life, you won't even talk to me? 23 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,551 I mean, even if it seems like a waste of time. 24 00:05:15,836 --> 00:05:17,111 Sorry. 25 00:05:17,754 --> 00:05:20,947 I'm trying to make a point. You're hiccupping for half an hour. 26 00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:25,751 And I'm willing to admit that I'm the bad guy here. I'm cool with that. 27 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,628 My Mom says you drink from the back of the glass. 28 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,747 That's a load of crap. That doesn't work. 29 00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,106 - You just gotta wait these things out. - Just give it a try. 30 00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:35,034 Don't be so close-minded about it. 31 00:05:37,949 --> 00:05:40,145 I don't want to hold you down anymore. 32 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:46,224 - I told you. - That doesn't work. I gotta call my Mom. 33 00:05:46,589 --> 00:05:48,152 It's like... 34 00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:51,307 ...you're this... 35 00:05:52,026 --> 00:05:53,589 ...glorious bird... 36 00:05:54,864 --> 00:05:58,384 ...and I'm this two hundred pound string... 37 00:05:59,391 --> 00:06:01,270 ...that's keeping you from flying. 38 00:06:01,587 --> 00:06:04,463 I'll bet you $20 bucks that you can't scare the hiccups out of you. 39 00:06:05,144 --> 00:06:07,062 You got a deal, son. 40 00:06:09,747 --> 00:06:10,668 Well? 41 00:06:12,902 --> 00:06:15,740 Well, what? I can’t just go... You're sitting there like, ''Well''. 42 00:06:16,105 --> 00:06:19,260 You can't be expecting it. It's supposed to be a surprise. 43 00:06:20,899 --> 00:06:24,380 Do it! Go on, you son of a bitch! Hiccup! Do it! 44 00:06:25,061 --> 00:06:26,624 - Do it! - Shella! 45 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,018 I cured your hiccups. You owe me $20. 46 00:06:58,336 --> 00:06:59,899 The Horned Toad defends itself... 47 00:07:00,264 --> 00:07:03,419 ...by spraying its intruder with blood from the corner of its eyes. 48 00:07:03,783 --> 00:07:05,298 I wish I could do that... 49 00:07:05,979 --> 00:07:07,743 ...when the blood boils in your head... 50 00:07:07,897 --> 00:07:10,419 ...and you can feel you eyes bulging out of their sockets. 51 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,813 I didn't used to feel this way, but about a year ago, 52 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,460 I had an awakening, an epiphany of sorts. 53 00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:21,255 I had been working for the Desert Savings Bank for five years... 54 00:07:21,657 --> 00:07:23,853 ...and I was finally being offered a promotion. 55 00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:25,781 Assistant Manager. 56 00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:28,936 Rick, the Manager, was breaking down my new job. 57 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,772 The additional responsibilities would require me to come in early, 58 00:07:33,174 --> 00:07:35,380 stay late, open up, lock up, 59 00:07:36,051 --> 00:07:38,573 check in the tellers, count out the tellers, weekly scheduling... 60 00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,776 and about 12 other things I cant’ remember. 61 00:07:43,099 --> 00:07:46,254 And for my hard work and talents, I would be getting a long overdue raise. 62 00:07:46,935 --> 00:07:50,416 This was it. The fruits of my labor were finally acknowledged. 63 00:07:51,097 --> 00:07:53,293 Fifty-five cents more an hour. 64 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:58,097 Now that is a 15 percent raise. 65 00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:01,290 And all at once it hit me. 66 00:08:01,616 --> 00:08:04,771 I had worked for this bank for five years. This is what I do. 67 00:08:05,414 --> 00:08:07,494 I'm supposed to care about this place. 68 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,892 I'm supposed to care about what I am doing here. 69 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,088 This is my life. 70 00:08:17,093 --> 00:08:18,973 Nobody gonna hurt you. It’s just... 71 00:08:32,408 --> 00:08:34,009 Get off! 72 00:08:49,409 --> 00:08:51,289 I guess I just figured, screw it, 73 00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:54,166 if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. 74 00:09:13,402 --> 00:09:15,569 What, are you high right now? 75 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,323 Am I the only person that knows how to drive in this whole town? 76 00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:23,960 Did you see that? 77 00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:26,520 Are you all right? 78 00:09:33,722 --> 00:09:35,601 I'm gonna have a Double Western Cheeseburger, 79 00:09:36,282 --> 00:09:37,883 with a large criss-cut fries... 80 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,801 ...and a large Coke. 81 00:09:40,799 --> 00:09:42,678 I'll have a Bar-B-Q chicken sandwich with a baked potato plain... 82 00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:44,241 ...and a medium Coke. 83 00:09:45,238 --> 00:09:46,802 Okay, that's $13,33. 84 00:09:49,717 --> 00:09:51,280 What's this? 85 00:09:51,644 --> 00:09:54,080 - That's all I have. - It's $2. Where's the rest? 86 00:09:54,204 --> 00:09:56,640 I'm sorry, dude, that's like... I'm good for it. 87 00:09:56,755 --> 00:09:59,239 No, you're not good for it. You owe me $18 from last week. 88 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:01,157 - No, I don't. - Yes, you do. 89 00:10:01,281 --> 00:10:04,321 Just because I work at a bank doesn't mean I am a bank, all right? 90 00:10:04,714 --> 00:10:07,562 If you don't have the money I'm going to have to ask you to step aside. 91 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,439 What is it, like $6? 92 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,439 Bar-B-Q chicken sandwich, baked potato plain, with a medium Coke. 93 00:10:19,396 --> 00:10:21,956 - Fine. What do you want? - Famous Star. 94 00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:24,718 And water. 95 00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:26,799 How much is a Famous Star? 96 00:10:36,398 --> 00:10:37,951 Are you okay? 97 00:10:38,632 --> 00:10:40,511 Who the hell are you? 98 00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:43,714 I was in Landy's Diner. I followed you. 99 00:10:45,038 --> 00:10:46,275 You were... 100 00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:48,470 Just wanted to see if you were all right. 101 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,398 Are you? 102 00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,956 No! I'm pretty messed up! My boyfriend dumped me! 103 00:10:54,272 --> 00:10:56,113 - Why? - About a year ago... 104 00:10:56,516 --> 00:10:58,031 ...we decided we should both go back to school... 105 00:10:58,434 --> 00:11:00,515 ...and get some degree so we could both get better jobs. 106 00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:02,231 But neither of us had the money, so I told Rick... 107 00:11:02,548 --> 00:11:05,396 ''Baby, let's keep our jobs and I'll use my savings... 108 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,272 and when you get a better job, you can help me.'' 109 00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,475 Well, it turns out Rick is mathematically retarded. 110 00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:13,710 There is no way he's going to make it through Calculus. 111 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:17,555 So I spent everything else I have to help him hire a tutor. 112 00:11:18,869 --> 00:11:20,432 And now here we are. 113 00:11:21,429 --> 00:11:23,347 He's about to get his AA in a couple of weeks... 114 00:11:23,673 --> 00:11:25,591 ...and they're gonna give him a promotion when he does... 115 00:11:25,907 --> 00:11:27,470 ...and now he's dumping me. 116 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:31,028 - I don't understand why. Why? - He's screwing the tutor! 117 00:11:33,953 --> 00:11:35,190 That is pretty bad. 118 00:11:36,024 --> 00:11:39,150 I certainly think you showed him how you felt in there. 119 00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:41,749 I don't think you're going to be seeing him anymore. 120 00:11:43,705 --> 00:11:46,189 He's the manager at my work. I'm going to see him tomorrow. 121 00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:48,423 Oh, my God. 122 00:11:49,746 --> 00:11:51,942 I know how you feel. Well, I don't know how you feel. 123 00:11:52,863 --> 00:11:54,349 But I've been pretty messed up, too. 124 00:11:54,503 --> 00:11:57,025 When I was a little kid I had this pet pig. His name was Piggies. 125 00:11:57,389 --> 00:11:59,901 He used to follow me all around, and he used to sleep in my bed with me. 126 00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:03,430 You know, he would kind of like root up by me feet. 127 00:12:04,907 --> 00:12:06,988 He would follow me all around. 128 00:12:07,141 --> 00:12:09,663 I taught him to fetch my slippers and, I mean, he was like a brother. 129 00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:13,183 He was like a little brother. And he made a lot of noise. 130 00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:17,028 Anyway, so one day I come home, you know... 131 00:12:17,383 --> 00:12:20,221 from baseball practice, and there's food... 132 00:12:20,902 --> 00:12:22,782 ...and there's rice all over the floor. 133 00:12:23,108 --> 00:12:25,946 And then there's Piggies. 134 00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:29,820 And I guess he ate all the rice and it just... 135 00:12:31,105 --> 00:12:33,378 ...It expanded in his stomach, or... 136 00:12:36,264 --> 00:12:38,786 The little fella died. So did a part of me. 137 00:12:41,701 --> 00:12:43,581 Not that that's at all what you're going through. 138 00:12:43,945 --> 00:12:46,784 I don't think that you have a pig. Or ever did. 139 00:12:48,097 --> 00:12:49,660 - No. - It's kind of unique. 140 00:12:54,062 --> 00:12:55,663 I'm Mark. 141 00:12:56,661 --> 00:12:58,262 Shella. 142 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,016 Listen, I know that this just happened. 143 00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:09,414 If you feel like you need to talk or you just want to get out... 144 00:13:10,421 --> 00:13:11,697 Call me. 145 00:13:16,539 --> 00:13:18,054 We'll go out and just talk. 146 00:13:20,653 --> 00:13:22,216 So, what's DFD? 147 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,419 It's the Desert Fire Department. 148 00:13:25,774 --> 00:13:27,653 - You're a fireman? - Yes, ma'am. 149 00:13:28,334 --> 00:13:29,897 - Why? - Good question. 150 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,771 You know, it's not boring. The money's decent. 151 00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:37,617 I just wanted to do something of value. 152 00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:40,493 - Right. - Oh, yeah? 153 00:13:40,858 --> 00:13:42,737 - I followed you, didn’t I? - I'm not on fire. 154 00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:45,451 I disagree. 155 00:13:48,136 --> 00:13:49,498 Just call me. 156 00:13:51,972 --> 00:13:54,129 - Because I told all those people... - What's up? 157 00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:59,528 I'm in a coma and we're searching for a cure of my wounds. 158 00:13:59,653 --> 00:14:02,175 - I speak nine languages. - What is your intelligence? 159 00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:05,291 - 14. - A thief with 14 intelligence? 160 00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:08,255 I whip out my Plus-Two short sword, walk up to that Orc, 161 00:14:08,609 --> 00:14:10,489 hock a big loogy in his face and say: 162 00:14:10,853 --> 00:14:14,008 ''So, you wanna jack with the Ripper?'' 163 00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:16,568 Fine. I told the Orc. 164 00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:19,407 But since everyone knows he only speaks Orc... 165 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:22,006 he has absolutely no idea what you're saying. 166 00:14:22,207 --> 00:14:23,693 Doleman, you shaved. What's the occasion? 167 00:14:23,808 --> 00:14:26,647 I thought I'd go job-hunting after I win the game. 168 00:14:28,287 --> 00:14:30,770 - What about Kali Nasa ice cream? - He got fired. 169 00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:33,570 I don't know, some stupid Assistant Manager. 170 00:14:33,685 --> 00:14:37,205 I think his name was Cleatis. Like that was actually his name, Cleatis. 171 00:14:37,531 --> 00:14:39,650 So, anyway, I'm getting an ice cream for this old lady... 172 00:14:39,803 --> 00:14:42,968 ...and just as I'm handing it to her, Cleatis grabs me by the arm, 173 00:14:43,332 --> 00:14:44,771 makes me throw the damned thing away... 174 00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:48,328 ...and starts yelling at me about how much ice cream I'm wasting. 175 00:14:48,683 --> 00:14:51,848 How many times do I have to tell you? You scoop off the top of the ice! 176 00:14:52,202 --> 00:14:53,363 Listen to me! 177 00:14:53,487 --> 00:14:55,290 You're wasting this company a lot of money. 178 00:14:55,405 --> 00:14:57,611 It's not only my policy, but it's company policy! 179 00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:20,366 Okay, that'll be $2,95, please. 180 00:15:22,601 --> 00:15:24,720 - No way! - Yeah, totally absurd. 181 00:15:24,845 --> 00:15:27,999 - So, what happened to the guy? - Nothing, he was all right. 182 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,845 But he had this huge chocolaty red weit on his face. It was awesome. 183 00:15:32,526 --> 00:15:35,680 Can you believe that guy? If that were me... 184 00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:45,241 ''You wanna jack with The Ripper?'' 185 00:15:57,237 --> 00:16:00,680 And I have Plus-One throwing daggers, so you know they hit their mark. 186 00:16:00,757 --> 00:16:02,281 Where did you get Plus-One throwing daggers? 187 00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:03,796 From your Mom. 188 00:16:03,959 --> 00:16:06,481 Dude-Man, why don't you try to get a job where Stu works? 189 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,562 - At the bank? - Yeah, man. 190 00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:10,557 Dude, you'd be a natural there. 191 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,434 What do you think about that, Stu? Are they still hiring over there? 192 00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,476 They hold interviews once a month. 193 00:16:16,799 --> 00:16:18,679 It's actually this Sunday. You know what you should do? 194 00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:21,239 Go to the Corporate Office this Sunday at 8:30... 195 00:16:21,594 --> 00:16:23,675 and I’ll just tell them you're coming beforehand. 196 00:16:23,838 --> 00:16:25,641 You're sure to get an interview at least. 197 00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:29,553 Cool. Right. I'm there. Where's the Corporate Office again? 198 00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:31,318 I'll write it down for you. 199 00:16:31,797 --> 00:16:33,399 I'm taking the game over to Dickey’s house. 200 00:16:33,715 --> 00:16:35,595 - 8:30? - A.M. 201 00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:37,512 That's rough. 202 00:16:45,989 --> 00:16:47,552 Hey, George. 203 00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:51,398 Hey, George. Come on in here. 204 00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:53,795 Come on, George. 205 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,955 It's your day, George. 206 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:18,468 One day you'll have one of these, just like this. 207 00:17:19,149 --> 00:17:21,633 My mom started this for me when I was just born... 208 00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:24,788 and there's not a year of my life that isn’t in here. 209 00:17:24,912 --> 00:17:26,428 Pretty cool, huh? 210 00:17:28,393 --> 00:17:29,669 Beautiful. 211 00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:39,153 Hey, congratulations. 212 00:17:46,268 --> 00:17:48,147 Okay, there you... You sit. 213 00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,065 Stay right here. Stay right here. 214 00:17:57,468 --> 00:17:58,705 No, George. 215 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,781 This is George. 216 00:18:09,944 --> 00:18:13,060 He has been my roommate and confidante for quite a while now. 217 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,343 He's a survivor, like me. 218 00:18:17,903 --> 00:18:21,422 This is Charles Merchant, the man responsible for orphaning young George. 219 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,584 When I first met George, he and his mother were fleeing for their lives. 220 00:18:26,265 --> 00:18:27,818 Fortunately, George got away. 221 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,021 His mother wasn't so lucky. 222 00:18:32,623 --> 00:18:34,502 You are dead. 223 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,060 From that day forward, George lived with me. 224 00:18:38,386 --> 00:18:41,224 We made a pact. Someday, somehow, 225 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,456 we would avenge George's mother. 226 00:18:46,422 --> 00:18:48,301 You're not even listening, are you, George? 227 00:18:51,821 --> 00:18:53,738 ''Gemini. Your IQ is soaring. 228 00:18:54,103 --> 00:18:58,217 If it continues at this rate, it will reach 145 by month's end. 229 00:18:58,581 --> 00:19:00,777 In other words, you're flaming genius, Gemini. 230 00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:04,296 And it doesn't hurt that the smell of freedom... 231 00:19:04,661 --> 00:19:06,099 Is more vivid than it's been in years.'' 232 00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:07,816 I'm telling you, man, I'm a frigging genius. 233 00:19:08,822 --> 00:19:11,661 How about we get babies and rent babies... 234 00:19:12,342 --> 00:19:13,857 to single guys? 235 00:19:14,576 --> 00:19:16,014 I'm serious. 236 00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:18,661 'Cause girls dig guys with kids. 237 00:19:20,013 --> 00:19:21,893 Last week, I was with little Tommy... 238 00:19:22,257 --> 00:19:25,096 and this hottie walks up to me and starts dialoguing me. 239 00:19:25,412 --> 00:19:28,893 She was hot. See, it had to have been the baby, 240 00:19:29,257 --> 00:19:32,892 because the truth is that that rarely ever happens to me alone. 241 00:19:33,055 --> 00:19:35,299 - Yeah? - Yeah. So what I'm saying is... 242 00:19:35,931 --> 00:19:37,811 we get an RV and we fill it... 243 00:19:38,214 --> 00:19:41,330 with as many babies as we can from as many people as we can... 244 00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,850 and then we drive it out to Furnace Park. 245 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,052 We'll rake in a fortune. 246 00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:51,572 I don't think people are going to lend us their babies... 247 00:19:52,416 --> 00:19:55,570 - But that's great. - You're absolutely right. 248 00:19:56,577 --> 00:19:58,697 - Puppies. - What about puppies? 249 00:19:58,812 --> 00:20:00,375 We rent puppies. 250 00:20:00,729 --> 00:20:02,331 'Cause girls dig puppies, too. 251 00:20:03,616 --> 00:20:05,495 So we drive to the entrance to the park... 252 00:20:05,889 --> 00:20:08,094 and we rent some puppies to some single guys. 253 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,290 You're kidding me, right? 254 00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:14,452 Well, you know, I'm kidding kind of half-serious kidding, yeah. 255 00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,453 Dude, it's all about the timing, man. 256 00:20:17,568 --> 00:20:19,448 You just gotta do the right thing at the right place. 257 00:20:19,774 --> 00:20:22,248 I don't want to hear this right now. Besides, if it was all in the timing... 258 00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:24,214 nothing would ever happen, because everyone would be sitting around... 259 00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:26,448 - Waiting for the right time. - That's not what I mean. 260 00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:28,932 I'm saying you can make timing. You just have to pay attention. 261 00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:31,530 I don't want to hear your stupid ideas right now. Please. Please. 262 00:20:33,611 --> 00:20:35,491 Air Supply. Pull. 263 00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:43,172 Last week, the pieces of the puzzle came together. 264 00:20:43,565 --> 00:20:46,049 I'd been looking at the bank differently for months now. 265 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:50,249 The bank stopped being the place I showed up and forgot myself... 266 00:20:50,891 --> 00:20:53,404 until it was time to leave. It was a house of money. 267 00:20:53,806 --> 00:20:55,322 I broke it into parts. 268 00:20:55,724 --> 00:20:58,524 There are five places money is kept, all in cash. 269 00:20:58,889 --> 00:21:00,807 One, the cash drawer. 270 00:21:01,123 --> 00:21:04,326 It carries approximately 10 thousand at a given time and is counted daily. 271 00:21:04,968 --> 00:21:09,763 Two, the ATM machine. It carries at least 40 thousand and is counted daily. 272 00:21:10,444 --> 00:21:13,800 Three, the mini-vault. The small vault behind the tellers. 273 00:21:13,963 --> 00:21:16,485 Around 250 thousand, and counted daily. 274 00:21:17,482 --> 00:21:20,522 Four, the vault. Mainly a storage facility... 275 00:21:20,685 --> 00:21:23,485 that could be carrying cashier's drawers and other valuables. 276 00:21:23,879 --> 00:21:26,401 Or maybe nothing. Inventoried daily. 277 00:21:26,765 --> 00:21:28,606 Five, safety deposit boxes. 278 00:21:28,923 --> 00:21:31,483 A potpourri of cash, valuables, documents... 279 00:21:31,799 --> 00:21:33,679 and meaningless mementos. 280 00:21:34,082 --> 00:21:37,841 There is no record of anything put in a safety deposit box. 281 00:21:39,845 --> 00:21:41,676 Merchant's a customer at the bank. 282 00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:43,920 He shows up about twice a month. 283 00:21:44,285 --> 00:21:45,838 Sometimes he brings his dog. 284 00:21:46,519 --> 00:21:49,683 He's loaded. He sells some kind of ''Get rich quick'' package. 285 00:21:51,956 --> 00:21:54,478 He doesn't know who I am but every time I see him... 286 00:21:54,842 --> 00:21:57,681 I can feel the blood in my eyes start to boil. 287 00:21:58,678 --> 00:22:01,517 Last week, he wanted to see his safety deposit box. 288 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,918 So I take him around and I ask if he has his key. 289 00:22:06,043 --> 00:22:08,517 He looks at me for a second, then turns around. 290 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,521 He's fiddling with the dog's collar... 291 00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:14,357 and I see in the reflection that the dog's tag pops open like a locket. 292 00:22:14,999 --> 00:22:17,080 He turns around with his key. 293 00:22:17,281 --> 00:22:19,113 I take my key and we open his box. 294 00:22:29,316 --> 00:22:32,519 And that was it. Here was a box of unrecorded money. 295 00:22:32,835 --> 00:22:36,038 I have one key and this dog has the other. 296 00:22:43,432 --> 00:22:46,270 You look so beautiful right now. 297 00:22:51,429 --> 00:22:52,992 We can be friends, right? 298 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:01,910 You're this glorious bird. 299 00:23:51,986 --> 00:23:54,508 Stu, do you think my ideas are stupid? 300 00:23:56,147 --> 00:23:58,669 Look at me. Did you say that? Do you think that? 301 00:23:59,024 --> 00:24:00,587 You know what? Screw you. 302 00:24:00,942 --> 00:24:03,781 You're being a dick, man. You're starting to piss me off! 303 00:24:03,982 --> 00:24:05,507 You got to be kidding me. 304 00:24:05,746 --> 00:24:07,549 The next time you come home from work... 305 00:24:07,664 --> 00:24:09,227 complaining about how you hate everyone... 306 00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:12,344 don't come looking for me, because you're miserable. 307 00:24:12,468 --> 00:24:14,588 And you just sit with it. 308 00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,621 - You being serious right now? - I'm not kidding! 309 00:24:16,784 --> 00:24:19,219 Tell me then, when in your real life have you actually come up with an idea... 310 00:24:19,382 --> 00:24:21,425 that worked that you used to benefit yourself? 311 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,707 At least I try to. You suck! 312 00:24:28,905 --> 00:24:30,784 You want an idea that would never work? 313 00:24:31,101 --> 00:24:32,702 - I have them. - Yeah. 314 00:24:33,661 --> 00:24:35,224 What's today, Friday? 315 00:24:36,864 --> 00:24:39,741 When the bank closes on Saturday, no one's in there again till Monday. 316 00:24:40,057 --> 00:24:41,984 So, if there's any cash missing... 317 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:45,178 no one would know about it for the whole weekend. 318 00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:48,064 So, what I think about... 319 00:24:49,378 --> 00:24:51,900 Is that I could empty my drawer into my knapsack... 320 00:24:52,897 --> 00:24:55,256 on Saturday, when I close out. No one would know about it. 321 00:24:55,457 --> 00:24:57,021 It's usually about $ 10 thousand. 322 00:24:57,184 --> 00:25:00,377 Cruise to Vegas, bet it all on black, one clean shot. Double or nothing. 323 00:25:00,741 --> 00:25:03,503 If I win, replace all the money on Monday. No one knows a thing about it. 324 00:25:03,618 --> 00:25:07,415 If I lose, become a fugitive. But if I win, it's $ 10 thousand. 325 00:25:09,055 --> 00:25:11,213 And then there's the mini-vault. I've thought about the mini-vault, too. 326 00:25:11,942 --> 00:25:13,294 The mini-vault? 327 00:25:13,859 --> 00:25:16,621 It's a small vault behind the tellers that usually has over $200 grand in it. 328 00:25:16,736 --> 00:25:19,172 It's for when people want to withdraw larger sums of cash from the teller. 329 00:25:19,575 --> 00:25:22,058 And after Saturday, nobody checks that vault again till Monday. 330 00:25:22,739 --> 00:25:26,172 It takes a special key to open it. This key's in one the other teller's drawers. 331 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:28,138 He leaves it in there about 50 percent of the time. 332 00:25:28,339 --> 00:25:30,852 And every day, at exactly 2:45, like clockwork... 333 00:25:31,216 --> 00:25:33,019 Rick, the manager, takes his coffee break. 334 00:25:33,134 --> 00:25:35,972 He orders coffee and a slice of rhubarb pie, and flirts with the waitress... 335 00:25:36,337 --> 00:25:38,859 until 3 o'clock. Sometimes, while he's on his break... 336 00:25:40,815 --> 00:25:43,970 I think, screw it, I could take $250 thousand out of that safe... 337 00:25:44,296 --> 00:25:46,214 go to Vegas and double or nothing. 338 00:25:46,617 --> 00:25:50,692 Hell, yeah. That's it, man, we're there. Dude, we're there. 339 00:25:51,095 --> 00:25:53,895 - No, that's the story. - No, that's the plan. 340 00:25:54,413 --> 00:25:56,292 How come you've never mentioned this before? 341 00:25:56,494 --> 00:25:58,929 Even if you and I could sit down and figure out how to do this perfectly... 342 00:25:59,054 --> 00:26:01,173 which you and I could never do, I still wouldn't actually do it. 343 00:26:01,288 --> 00:26:04,769 Yeah, but I'll help you. I'll go in there with my backpack... 344 00:26:05,134 --> 00:26:07,895 and you give the money. I'll take it right out of there. 345 00:26:08,010 --> 00:26:10,532 If the timing’s not right, then, whatever. 346 00:26:10,887 --> 00:26:13,735 I'll ask for a statement on my checking and I'll split. 347 00:26:14,090 --> 00:26:17,734 Max, I thought it was a cool idea that would never work. 348 00:26:17,849 --> 00:26:19,728 Dude, we could make it all in one shot... 349 00:26:20,131 --> 00:26:22,212 and get away with it and put it all on the line. 350 00:26:22,366 --> 00:26:25,492 A good bet are when the odds outweigh the risk. 351 00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:28,052 You know what that means? This isn’t the case here. 352 00:26:28,407 --> 00:26:31,888 You're so wrong! Listen to you! What are you talking about? 353 00:26:32,252 --> 00:26:35,004 It's a story that would never work! That's the way I started it! 354 00:26:35,129 --> 00:26:37,363 That's the way it's gonna end! The end! 355 00:26:55,008 --> 00:26:56,206 Deposit. 356 00:26:59,121 --> 00:27:00,723 Hey, Mr. Merchant. 357 00:27:02,046 --> 00:27:04,568 So... where's the little pooch? 358 00:27:04,885 --> 00:27:07,129 - Flying a helicopter. - Really? 359 00:27:07,445 --> 00:27:09,046 No, not really. 360 00:27:09,727 --> 00:27:11,242 He's at home. 361 00:27:11,645 --> 00:27:13,160 Of course. 362 00:27:15,088 --> 00:27:18,607 So, what is she, a miniature collie? 363 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,119 He is a Pomeranian. 364 00:27:23,085 --> 00:27:26,883 So, that’s just as big as he, she, it gets? 365 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,443 Apparently. 366 00:27:30,124 --> 00:27:32,646 Up against a Jack Russell, who would win? 367 00:27:33,317 --> 00:27:35,839 Because you can never really tell buy the size. 368 00:27:36,203 --> 00:27:39,684 I've seen a fire ant go up against a wasp... 369 00:27:40,039 --> 00:27:42,197 Like quadruple its size and... 370 00:27:44,517 --> 00:27:45,879 And what? 371 00:27:46,761 --> 00:27:48,200 And win. 372 00:27:48,957 --> 00:27:51,239 That's very, very... 373 00:27:51,518 --> 00:27:53,157 uninteresting. 374 00:27:55,756 --> 00:27:57,281 Are we done? 375 00:27:58,278 --> 00:27:59,879 Here's your receipt. 376 00:28:01,155 --> 00:28:02,756 Thank you for... 377 00:28:06,122 --> 00:28:07,560 I have one key... 378 00:28:07,714 --> 00:28:09,919 and this dog has the other. 379 00:28:13,161 --> 00:28:14,714 Come on, door. Open. 380 00:28:19,873 --> 00:28:21,753 Rick, sorry to disturb you. 381 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:23,997 Mr. Valley, what can I do for you? 382 00:28:24,351 --> 00:28:26,231 I have to get going. 383 00:28:26,595 --> 00:28:28,791 Did you balance out drawer four? 384 00:28:30,076 --> 00:28:31,553 Well, no, but... 385 00:28:32,358 --> 00:28:34,593 I really need to get drawer four balanced out. 386 00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:38,716 I understand. But, see, I had a doctor's appointment 20 minutes ago... 387 00:28:39,397 --> 00:28:42,552 with a doctor, and so I have to... 388 00:28:43,549 --> 00:28:44,997 I have to go. 389 00:28:45,151 --> 00:28:47,989 I understand, and I feel your pain, I do. 390 00:28:48,718 --> 00:28:51,834 But, unfortunately, I need drawer four balanced out. 391 00:28:53,474 --> 00:28:55,354 Sorry about that, Chief. 392 00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:57,272 All right. 393 00:29:43,032 --> 00:29:45,870 - I need the keys to lock up. - You're all finished? 394 00:29:48,747 --> 00:29:52,266 Well, I guess we'll be okay with one teller. 395 00:29:54,510 --> 00:29:56,102 All right, well, I'm outta here. 396 00:30:16,383 --> 00:30:17,822 Hey, Stu. 397 00:30:44,221 --> 00:30:45,976 Thank you very much. Have a nice day. 398 00:30:46,139 --> 00:30:49,304 - And how may I help you? - I'd like to make a withdrawal. 399 00:30:52,861 --> 00:30:55,623 - What? - I just thought I'd give it a shot. 400 00:30:55,738 --> 00:30:57,982 There ain't nobody here. The place is almost empty. 401 00:31:00,696 --> 00:31:03,218 No, Max, that is something that I told you in confidence. 402 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:06,382 I think it's the greatest idea I think you've ever had. 403 00:31:09,614 --> 00:31:12,136 Don't chastise me 'cause I've got a dream and you can't possibly... 404 00:31:19,817 --> 00:31:21,696 - See you. - You're leaving? 405 00:31:31,976 --> 00:31:33,856 Now's the time. 406 00:31:35,179 --> 00:31:37,413 This is just how you described it. 407 00:31:58,414 --> 00:31:59,967 I mean, it's perfect. 408 00:32:15,128 --> 00:32:16,049 Go! 409 00:32:47,607 --> 00:32:49,122 - Hey, Connie. - Hey, Rick. 410 00:32:49,841 --> 00:32:52,690 - I’ll just have my usual. - Sorry, we just ran out. 411 00:32:53,687 --> 00:32:56,247 You got yourself quite a shiner there. 412 00:32:57,244 --> 00:33:00,006 - Yeah, well, you know. - Sorry, sweetie. 413 00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:08,320 What are you doing? Stu, are you crying? 414 00:33:16,845 --> 00:33:18,399 Take it easy. You dropped one. 415 00:33:21,007 --> 00:33:24,162 You're the king, dude. This is the greatest thing I've ever seen you do. 416 00:33:42,238 --> 00:33:44,117 Be happy! Hand me that. Give me that. 417 00:33:44,836 --> 00:33:46,045 Pick it up. 418 00:33:48,001 --> 00:33:49,919 You happy? Stu, you happy? 419 00:34:09,519 --> 00:34:10,996 Have a pleasant day. 420 00:34:15,954 --> 00:34:17,881 Max! Stop! Max! 421 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,072 What's up? 422 00:34:36,110 --> 00:34:37,990 - Here's your keys, Rick. - Shella. 423 00:34:40,109 --> 00:34:42,276 Hi, I'm Charles Merchant. 424 00:34:43,638 --> 00:34:46,793 On my sixth birthday my father gave me a tricycle. 425 00:34:47,109 --> 00:34:49,670 Then, he got on a train and never saw him again. 426 00:34:50,677 --> 00:34:51,875 My mother... 427 00:34:52,268 --> 00:34:55,673 was left without a job or a dime to raise me... 428 00:34:56,353 --> 00:34:59,192 and my five sisters. We had nothing. 429 00:35:00,189 --> 00:35:03,987 But, by the time I was 22, I was a millionaire. 430 00:35:04,351 --> 00:35:08,513 And today, I'm a millionaire many times over. 431 00:35:08,829 --> 00:35:11,994 My tapes will tell you all you need to know... 432 00:35:12,348 --> 00:35:14,266 about making a great start... 433 00:35:15,225 --> 00:35:17,747 In the profitable world of real estate. 434 00:35:18,428 --> 00:35:21,947 Is this you? Stuck in some dead-end job? 435 00:35:22,628 --> 00:35:24,824 Well, this could be you. 436 00:35:26,148 --> 00:35:28,670 And I will not only give you your dream job... 437 00:35:29,312 --> 00:35:31,192 I will get you started for free. 438 00:35:31,911 --> 00:35:34,672 Gee, Mr. Merchant, how can you afford to do that? 439 00:35:34,788 --> 00:35:36,667 You must be crazy. 440 00:35:37,626 --> 00:35:40,186 A lot of people think I'm crazy, Susan.. 441 00:35:40,829 --> 00:35:43,667 but I guess I just like helping people. 442 00:35:44,070 --> 00:35:47,503 Low-life piece of crap. Doleman. That's him. 443 00:35:48,865 --> 00:35:52,585 I spent $450 and those lousy tapes don't work. 444 00:35:53,266 --> 00:35:56,421 - I told you not to get those, Shmall. - I will not let this rest. 445 00:35:56,785 --> 00:35:59,940 He has wounded me. But I will win the battle. 446 00:36:00,305 --> 00:36:02,827 - What are you talking about? - I'm going to egg his house. 447 00:36:03,508 --> 00:36:05,387 - What? - After work. 448 00:36:06,068 --> 00:36:08,504 It's that big fancy thing on the top of the hill Farrel. 449 00:36:08,580 --> 00:36:11,428 Shmall, nobody eggs houses anymore. It's ridiculous. 450 00:36:11,821 --> 00:36:13,624 I'm bringing it back. Do you wanna come? 451 00:36:13,739 --> 00:36:14,986 No. 452 00:36:15,667 --> 00:36:17,182 Fine. Be that way. 453 00:36:23,338 --> 00:36:24,585 What? 454 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:26,503 Nothing. 455 00:36:27,222 --> 00:36:29,101 - Where you going? - I got more interviews. 456 00:36:33,906 --> 00:36:35,459 Pussy. 457 00:38:39,449 --> 00:38:41,923 Do you know what that was back there, man? 458 00:38:42,326 --> 00:38:45,404 That was one part luck, one part timing, and two parts balls! 459 00:38:46,085 --> 00:38:48,923 You were incredible back there, man. Really. 460 00:38:49,288 --> 00:38:52,126 I tell you what, I'm very proud of you, Stuart. I am. 461 00:38:52,807 --> 00:38:56,921 True grace under pressure, is what you exhibited, man. 462 00:38:57,928 --> 00:38:59,807 Bravo. Bravo. You all right? 463 00:39:01,083 --> 00:39:02,962 Will you look at me? Are you all right? 464 00:39:06,242 --> 00:39:07,766 That was close. 465 00:39:33,437 --> 00:39:35,317 Hey, you sweet thing. 466 00:39:36,323 --> 00:39:37,877 Hello. 467 00:39:40,802 --> 00:39:42,959 You’re just a sweet thing, aren't you? 468 00:39:45,203 --> 00:39:46,795 Where's your daddy? 469 00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:49,355 Oh, you do tricks! 470 00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:53,795 Yeah, where's your daddy? Daddy's not home right now, huh? 471 00:39:55,157 --> 00:39:58,954 You want your belly rubbed? You like to get your belly rubbed? 472 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,435 I'm not going to hurt you. 473 00:40:18,354 --> 00:40:19,437 Let go! 474 00:40:43,554 --> 00:40:45,156 Excuse me, sir? 475 00:40:46,115 --> 00:40:48,637 - Would you like to buy some cookies? - What? 476 00:40:52,194 --> 00:40:54,390 Would you like to buy some cookies? 477 00:40:55,714 --> 00:40:58,552 What would I want a fucking cookie for? 478 00:40:59,233 --> 00:41:00,796 I thought maybe you'd want to eat them. 479 00:41:01,151 --> 00:41:03,270 I don't eat cookies. I eat little girls. 480 00:41:03,395 --> 00:41:07,192 I puree them alive after I've hunted them down with my dogs. 481 00:41:17,472 --> 00:41:18,747 Bitch. 482 00:41:34,589 --> 00:41:36,391 Itchy, you're all wet. 483 00:41:53,422 --> 00:41:56,903 What is it? You're a mean little fellow, aren't you? 484 00:42:25,105 --> 00:42:26,745 So tell me a little about yourself. 485 00:42:26,860 --> 00:42:30,657 Well, I like to hang out. I like to watch TV... 486 00:42:31,981 --> 00:42:33,544 play D & D. 487 00:42:34,100 --> 00:42:36,344 And I really like to eat. You know, stuff like that. 488 00:42:36,699 --> 00:42:39,537 So what made you choose Boyds Mills Books? 489 00:42:39,863 --> 00:42:42,740 Well, I don't know. I just thought it'd be pretty kicked back, you know. 490 00:42:43,104 --> 00:42:45,262 And my parents want me to get a job by the end of the week... 491 00:42:45,617 --> 00:42:47,535 or else they're gonna cut me off. 492 00:42:50,814 --> 00:42:52,339 But why are you here? 493 00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:54,736 I'm the manager. 494 00:42:55,455 --> 00:42:58,294 So, in your opinion, what makes Dippin' Dots so special? 495 00:42:59,301 --> 00:43:00,499 I don't know. 496 00:43:02,139 --> 00:43:05,620 Well, Dippin' Dots is the world's most unique frozen dessert. 497 00:43:06,934 --> 00:43:09,772 And I always thought it was interesting that your ice cream is... 498 00:43:10,779 --> 00:43:14,816 flash-frozen using a specially patented process giving it that... 499 00:43:14,941 --> 00:43:17,779 Individual ''dot'' consistency. 500 00:43:20,695 --> 00:43:22,056 All those dots. 501 00:43:23,255 --> 00:43:25,739 Little ice cream dots. Crazy. 502 00:43:26,458 --> 00:43:28,970 Like what the hell are those? They're like bugs. 503 00:43:29,296 --> 00:43:30,936 Little ice cream bugs. 504 00:43:36,929 --> 00:43:38,809 Well, I think your shirt about says it all. 505 00:43:42,693 --> 00:43:44,888 There's one. And these. 506 00:43:46,212 --> 00:43:47,775 This is unacceptable. 507 00:43:49,415 --> 00:43:50,968 This one. This one. 508 00:43:52,608 --> 00:43:54,209 And medium and large. 509 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:56,453 This one. 510 00:43:57,134 --> 00:43:58,371 These two. 511 00:43:59,330 --> 00:44:00,931 These here and... 512 00:44:02,571 --> 00:44:03,492 these. 513 00:44:03,847 --> 00:44:05,889 Okay, Shmally, pick them up and do them right. 514 00:44:06,052 --> 00:44:07,932 Tomorrow, if you put them in the right place the first time... 515 00:44:08,334 --> 00:44:10,214 we won't have to go through this again. 516 00:44:10,569 --> 00:44:13,091 - Got it? - Yeah, I go it, asshole. 517 00:44:18,528 --> 00:44:20,407 You wanna jack with the Ripper? 518 00:44:37,802 --> 00:44:40,046 - This doesn't fit. - You want to play? 519 00:44:40,411 --> 00:44:41,964 It's fine. 520 00:44:43,287 --> 00:44:44,486 Shmall. 521 00:44:49,003 --> 00:44:50,249 Doleman. 522 00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:54,123 - What are you doing here? - I found something I've to read to you. 523 00:44:54,766 --> 00:44:57,969 Shouldn't you be, what was that again? Oh yeah, looking for a job? 524 00:44:58,362 --> 00:45:00,241 I have been, but it wasn't going so well... 525 00:45:00,567 --> 00:45:02,447 and besides I don't think anyone's really hiring. 526 00:45:02,802 --> 00:45:04,365 So, anyway, check this out, all right? 527 00:45:04,566 --> 00:45:07,759 ''The farmer in the dell, hi-ho the derry-o... 528 00:45:08,402 --> 00:45:10,281 the farmer in the dell. 529 00:45:10,962 --> 00:45:14,127 The farmer takes a wife, the wife takes the child... 530 00:45:14,808 --> 00:45:16,361 the child takes the dog.'' 531 00:45:16,725 --> 00:45:19,564 Doleman, your reading skills have much improved. 532 00:45:20,245 --> 00:45:23,400 No, I'm reading this and I'm telling you, there's something in it. 533 00:45:23,726 --> 00:45:25,605 It's like one of those hidden message deals. 534 00:45:25,998 --> 00:45:28,798 You just have to hear it. Just bear with me, all right? 535 00:45:30,122 --> 00:45:32,960 ''The dog takes the cat, the cat takes the mouse... 536 00:45:33,957 --> 00:45:37,438 the mouse takes the cheese, and the cheese stands alone.'' 537 00:45:41,322 --> 00:45:43,480 The cheese stands alone. 538 00:45:46,721 --> 00:45:48,955 Don't you see, everyone's got something beneath them. 539 00:45:49,281 --> 00:45:51,477 The dog has the cat, the cat has the mouse... 540 00:45:51,842 --> 00:45:54,594 - the mouse has the cheese. - I was able to follow that. 541 00:45:54,718 --> 00:45:57,240 But the cheese stands alone, you know what I mean? 542 00:45:57,595 --> 00:46:01,402 The cheese is totally screwed. It's the bottom of the chain. 543 00:46:02,121 --> 00:46:04,960 But eventually something has to be at the bottom, right? 544 00:46:05,315 --> 00:46:07,194 So soon enough it's gonna be the cheese. 545 00:46:07,837 --> 00:46:09,917 Wait till you start reading Curious George. 546 00:46:10,119 --> 00:46:11,998 Now that's an unpredictable monkey. 547 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:14,875 Forget it. 548 00:46:17,157 --> 00:46:18,720 What happened here? 549 00:46:19,037 --> 00:46:20,638 They committed suicide. 550 00:46:21,914 --> 00:46:23,515 And what about that one? 551 00:46:25,395 --> 00:46:27,917 - I'm going to get this one. - I'll ring you up at the front. 552 00:47:59,782 --> 00:48:01,988 Stu, you know who's playing here? 553 00:48:02,669 --> 00:48:05,181 You know what's playing here tonight? Rod Stewart, man. 554 00:48:06,821 --> 00:48:09,343 We're going to the Rod Stewart Show, and you loved The Faces, man. 555 00:48:09,707 --> 00:48:12,507 Limited engagement, and we're in. We're in hard-core. 556 00:48:13,227 --> 00:48:15,106 I told you. Can you smell it? 557 00:48:15,787 --> 00:48:18,664 Can you smell the indulgence? The opportunity? Can you smell that? 558 00:48:19,901 --> 00:48:22,058 We're rocking tonight. I'm going in my pajamas. 559 00:48:25,942 --> 00:48:27,822 Look, it's Stuie's room. 560 00:48:28,502 --> 00:48:30,382 Wow, Stu. How about that? 561 00:48:33,777 --> 00:48:35,023 Thanks a lot. 562 00:48:35,704 --> 00:48:37,497 Hey, by any chance, do you know... 563 00:48:37,622 --> 00:48:41,419 we'd be able to meet women that... Well, never mind. 564 00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:47,537 Look at this place, man! What the hell? 565 00:48:47,863 --> 00:48:49,455 We got some cash... 566 00:48:50,136 --> 00:48:52,015 we might as well do it right. I want you sit down. 567 00:48:59,255 --> 00:49:01,135 Hl. Who's this? Purdy? 568 00:49:02,775 --> 00:49:05,613 We would like to order a couple shrimp cocktails, please. 569 00:49:06,620 --> 00:49:08,135 Yes, two. 570 00:49:08,538 --> 00:49:11,012 That's great. And New York Steak. 571 00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:14,541 Medium. 572 00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:17,696 French fries. 573 00:49:18,098 --> 00:49:20,572 And a bottle of your most expensive champagne. 574 00:49:21,579 --> 00:49:24,092 Great. Actually, you know what? Make it two bottles. 575 00:49:28,618 --> 00:49:30,018 Nice dinner, huh? 576 00:49:31,495 --> 00:49:34,333 - Why did you want to come here? - This is the bank Rick and I work at. 577 00:49:39,329 --> 00:49:41,535 - You want to talk about it? - Not really. 578 00:49:43,175 --> 00:49:46,617 About 3 months ago, our ATM machine got robbed by some hackers. 579 00:49:47,288 --> 00:49:48,890 That's pretty wild. 580 00:49:49,216 --> 00:49:52,409 Rick’s supposed to have the codes checked regularly, he always forgets. 581 00:49:53,454 --> 00:49:55,334 Somehow, someone broke in. 582 00:49:56,331 --> 00:49:58,172 That stuff really happens, huh? 583 00:49:59,208 --> 00:50:01,375 If it happens again, he'll get fired. 584 00:50:02,094 --> 00:50:03,446 That's crazy. 585 00:50:04,290 --> 00:50:05,527 Mark... 586 00:50:05,930 --> 00:50:07,771 I want to rob this bank. 587 00:50:24,409 --> 00:50:25,646 Doleman. 588 00:50:28,244 --> 00:50:30,412 - Dolemite, open up. - Just a sec. 589 00:50:32,368 --> 00:50:34,928 - What's up? - Are you sleeping already? 590 00:50:35,609 --> 00:50:37,805 I'm tired. I've got an interview in the morning. What's up? 591 00:50:39,090 --> 00:50:41,286 Huevos la casa. You want to come? 592 00:51:18,886 --> 00:51:20,401 Do you want some champagne? 593 00:51:24,802 --> 00:51:28,600 So after we've eaten this sushi, itchy, we'll have duck. 594 00:51:29,597 --> 00:51:32,359 Tell me, itchy, shall we have it basted on a spit? 595 00:51:32,483 --> 00:51:36,597 I think sauteed with a little tamarind rind and prune glaze. 596 00:51:50,876 --> 00:51:51,959 Come on. 597 00:51:56,476 --> 00:51:58,681 Duck! I love duck. 598 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,517 You know, itchy, I think I shall spend the rest of my life... 599 00:52:03,198 --> 00:52:06,353 killing and eating as many of them as I can. 600 00:52:06,756 --> 00:52:08,156 And when I die, itchy... 601 00:52:08,319 --> 00:52:11,397 there shall be one final duck on my casket... 602 00:52:13,037 --> 00:52:15,232 so that the whole world will know... 603 00:52:15,597 --> 00:52:17,160 ''He loved duck.'' 604 00:52:35,629 --> 00:52:37,154 Go, go, go, go! 605 00:52:53,714 --> 00:52:55,556 Come on, itchy. Let's have some fun. 606 00:53:05,193 --> 00:53:06,794 Go left! 607 00:53:22,070 --> 00:53:23,144 Watch out! 608 00:54:36,464 --> 00:54:37,864 So you got a plan? 609 00:54:38,018 --> 00:54:39,897 Go in there and take the money from the ATM. 610 00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:43,138 What about cameras? I mean, aren't there cameras all over the bank? 611 00:54:43,503 --> 00:54:46,015 Yeah, the cameras only record if the alarm goes off. 612 00:54:47,022 --> 00:54:48,901 What is this? Is this revenge? 613 00:54:49,899 --> 00:54:51,778 Yes. Yes, it is. 614 00:54:52,776 --> 00:54:56,218 Against Rick. It's about the bank... 615 00:54:58,539 --> 00:55:00,054 and my life. 616 00:55:01,061 --> 00:55:02,902 Do you care at all that this is illegal? 617 00:55:05,175 --> 00:55:09,298 Who really considers not doing something because it's against the law? 618 00:55:11,254 --> 00:55:14,419 Shella, I'm going to take you away now. 619 00:55:18,417 --> 00:55:20,019 Come on, let me in. Let me in. 620 00:55:20,700 --> 00:55:22,052 Out, out, out, out! 621 00:55:28,016 --> 00:55:29,570 Get in the truck. 622 00:55:30,299 --> 00:55:32,216 I locked the keys in the truck? 623 00:55:32,495 --> 00:55:33,732 Run! 624 00:55:41,691 --> 00:55:43,215 Open the door. 625 00:56:23,644 --> 00:56:25,447 - Where are you going? - We have 30 seconds. 626 00:56:25,571 --> 00:56:27,125 I have to reset the alarm. 627 00:57:12,281 --> 00:57:13,844 Do you have something up front? 628 00:57:14,563 --> 00:57:17,037 I've got the ''Goodfellas'' table waiting for you. 629 00:57:17,363 --> 00:57:18,677 Terrific. 630 00:57:20,605 --> 00:57:22,839 He's legend. Maggie Mae! 631 00:57:32,438 --> 00:57:34,998 He's looking right at us. We or something. 632 00:57:35,679 --> 00:57:38,163 Bring us two bottles of your finest champagne. 633 00:57:48,442 --> 00:57:50,638 You're not Rod Stewart! 634 00:57:52,959 --> 00:57:54,762 That's not Rod Stewart. 635 00:57:56,756 --> 00:57:58,598 Rob Stewart. 636 00:58:00,237 --> 00:58:02,117 Celebrity impersonator. 637 00:58:03,114 --> 00:58:04,994 What are we doing here? 638 00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:11,716 I can't do this. I'm going to charge all this to my credit card. 639 00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:13,912 I just got take all this back on Monday. 640 00:58:15,916 --> 00:58:17,757 You know what, man? It's your call. 641 00:58:18,438 --> 00:58:20,039 You're the captain. 642 00:58:21,037 --> 00:58:23,233 - I want to do it. - I know you do. 643 00:58:23,597 --> 00:58:24,997 I really do. 644 00:58:26,157 --> 00:58:28,353 This isn’t a game. This is our lives we're talking about. 645 00:58:29,034 --> 00:58:30,472 I know, man. 646 00:58:30,635 --> 00:58:33,196 But I'm saying, if you keep passing up opportunities like this... 647 00:58:33,512 --> 00:58:35,114 you're going to end up living your life... 648 00:58:35,430 --> 00:58:37,636 No, that's bullshit! I'm talking about going to prison. 649 00:58:37,990 --> 00:58:39,793 And I'm saying that they're both prisons. 650 00:58:39,908 --> 00:58:41,308 No! Quit conning me! 651 00:58:41,510 --> 00:58:43,677 You don't know what prison’s like! I don't even know what a prison’s like. 652 00:58:57,908 --> 00:58:59,787 I'm not conning you, Stuart, okay? 653 00:59:00,190 --> 00:59:03,987 No, you don't listen to me. Just listen to me for one second, okay? 654 00:59:06,548 --> 00:59:07,832 However... 655 00:59:08,149 --> 00:59:10,987 mundane work might be at least we can go home and do whatever we want to. 656 00:59:11,352 --> 00:59:13,231 That's gotta be a hell of a lot better than prison. 657 00:59:13,624 --> 00:59:16,108 Yes! I'm peeing in my pants, too, Stuart! 658 00:59:16,472 --> 00:59:18,668 Believe me! I'm peeing in my pants! 659 00:59:19,349 --> 00:59:22,504 But I'm seeing it take this. You got to take a chance, win or lose. 660 00:59:23,511 --> 00:59:27,663 Sometime, somewhere down the line, you're going to have to take a chance. 661 00:59:28,143 --> 00:59:29,466 - I know. - You know? 662 00:59:29,591 --> 00:59:32,343 I just don't know. I don't think I can. That's what it is. 663 00:59:32,467 --> 00:59:36,265 Here's what I think. And mind you, whatever you decide... 664 00:59:37,627 --> 00:59:39,142 I'm behind you. 665 00:59:39,544 --> 00:59:41,069 All right? 666 00:59:41,788 --> 00:59:45,269 But seriously, dude, everyone with money in this country... 667 00:59:45,902 --> 00:59:47,465 Is boning over someone. 668 00:59:48,184 --> 00:59:49,546 And that's the truth, you know? 669 00:59:49,661 --> 00:59:52,548 Unless you've inherited, and then your parents did the boning for you. 670 00:59:54,187 --> 00:59:56,067 I don't know, Stuart, I kind of feel like... 671 00:59:57,064 --> 01:00:00,229 Like we're the ones getting boned over. Like we're the ''bonees''. 672 01:00:00,900 --> 01:00:03,345 And there isn’t anyone out there that wants that any different. 673 01:00:03,460 --> 01:00:05,340 So if you and I don't do anything to change that... 674 01:00:05,704 --> 01:00:09,501 then it's kind of like our lives were written for us. 675 01:00:11,467 --> 01:00:13,347 And yeah, you know, we did what we did. 676 01:00:14,622 --> 01:00:16,502 We're a couple of thieves. 677 01:00:16,904 --> 01:00:20,059 But, you know, at least we're writing our own story. 678 01:00:24,585 --> 01:00:27,740 - I just don't know if I can. - And that's all right, man. 679 01:00:29,658 --> 01:00:31,097 That's cool. 680 01:00:33,820 --> 01:00:35,258 Where you going? 681 01:00:35,776 --> 01:00:38,020 I think I'll go back to the room for a little while. 682 01:00:44,416 --> 01:00:45,979 Shouldn't we be leaving now? 683 01:00:46,334 --> 01:00:49,422 I turned off the sensor so if anyone checks, the red light will still be on. 684 01:00:52,816 --> 01:00:55,338 But we should probably stick around, you know, in case anyone's... 685 01:00:55,693 --> 01:00:56,940 - Outside? - Yeah. 686 01:00:57,899 --> 01:00:59,539 Just for a couple of hours. 687 01:01:02,137 --> 01:01:04,017 This is the worst date I've ever been on. 688 01:01:06,261 --> 01:01:08,140 Is this a date? 689 01:01:10,096 --> 01:01:11,698 No, it's a felony. 690 01:01:31,692 --> 01:01:34,214 That was fun. I like you, itchy. 691 01:01:34,894 --> 01:01:36,812 You're a mean dog. Mean, mean, mean. 692 01:01:41,492 --> 01:01:42,854 Where's the key? 693 01:01:44,052 --> 01:01:45,376 Where's the key? 694 01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:04,756 The cheese stands alone! 695 01:05:57,901 --> 01:05:59,186 Black. 696 01:06:01,746 --> 01:06:03,022 Black what? 697 01:06:04,019 --> 01:06:05,544 We bet black. 698 01:06:12,304 --> 01:06:14,222 Yeah, yeah. Wait up. 699 01:06:27,378 --> 01:06:28,942 Shmall, are you sleeping? 700 01:06:30,898 --> 01:06:32,777 Doleman! Oh, my God! 701 01:06:34,101 --> 01:06:37,217 What the hell happened to you? I looked all over. 702 01:06:37,620 --> 01:06:39,499 - Really? - Yeah. 703 01:06:40,823 --> 01:06:43,661 - Where were you? - I got conked out in the desert. 704 01:06:45,895 --> 01:06:47,775 Forget about that. How do I look? 705 01:06:50,096 --> 01:06:52,982 - Great. - Help me out. You gotta look at me. 706 01:06:53,260 --> 01:06:54,861 You're a supermodel. 707 01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:57,422 This is important. I really need you to help me out. 708 01:07:03,540 --> 01:07:05,093 Those the clothes you got a Harkers? 709 01:07:06,417 --> 01:07:08,296 Do you think I can go to the interview like this? 710 01:07:11,854 --> 01:07:13,417 You look good. 711 01:07:14,414 --> 01:07:15,977 Seriously. Don't sweat it. 712 01:07:17,579 --> 01:07:19,170 Well, all right. Come on. 713 01:07:22,891 --> 01:07:24,454 I eat cheese. 714 01:07:25,777 --> 01:07:28,616 I know you do. I've seen you. 715 01:08:34,763 --> 01:08:36,643 If I'm going to do this, I gotta do it right now. 716 01:08:39,567 --> 01:08:41,447 Are you sure you want to do this? 717 01:08:45,647 --> 01:08:48,169 I want to show you what $40 thousand looks like. 718 01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:16,640 Stuart Stein speaks very highly of you. 719 01:09:17,321 --> 01:09:18,884 He does? 720 01:09:21,482 --> 01:09:22,719 Nothing. 721 01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,162 Stuart Stein is a fantastic employee. 722 01:09:26,517 --> 01:09:29,720 We're very fortunate, we are very honored to have the likes of... 723 01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:31,762 Stuart Stein. 724 01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:56,560 Fourteen, red. 725 01:10:06,993 --> 01:10:09,113 That's the third red in a row. 726 01:10:09,199 --> 01:10:11,471 Odds seem pretty good on black. 727 01:10:12,795 --> 01:10:14,674 Maybe we should bet now. 728 01:10:21,118 --> 01:10:22,912 Everything’s secure with the pit boss. 729 01:10:23,554 --> 01:10:25,117 They've covered the bet. 730 01:10:26,114 --> 01:10:27,716 Whenever you're ready. 731 01:10:37,037 --> 01:10:38,590 - We do this now? - Yeah. 732 01:10:40,556 --> 01:10:42,752 $250 thousand on black, please. 733 01:10:43,433 --> 01:10:44,670 Good luck. 734 01:10:50,433 --> 01:10:53,626 Working at Desert Savings Bank is a lot of responsibility. 735 01:10:53,991 --> 01:10:57,107 But I assure you it has huge rewards. 736 01:10:59,428 --> 01:11:00,952 I like to think of it... 737 01:11:02,909 --> 01:11:04,472 as a door. 738 01:11:05,191 --> 01:11:08,988 No, I like to think of it a door and a ladder. 739 01:11:09,305 --> 01:11:11,549 You've got to stop fidgeting. 740 01:11:12,872 --> 01:11:15,384 You open the door and you see a ladder... 741 01:11:15,749 --> 01:11:18,271 and you climb up the rungs to success. 742 01:11:20,150 --> 01:11:22,308 Now, we can't open that door for you. 743 01:11:22,385 --> 01:11:24,590 That's something you have to do for yourself. But... 744 01:11:25,587 --> 01:11:27,783 we can provide you with the key. 745 01:11:42,062 --> 01:11:44,267 And what you do on the other side of the door... 746 01:11:44,948 --> 01:11:46,540 Is up to you. 747 01:11:48,506 --> 01:11:50,021 - What? - Nothing. 748 01:11:53,588 --> 01:11:55,784 Are you ready to open that door, Mr. Doleman? 749 01:11:57,424 --> 01:11:58,987 - Yes. - That's a yes. 750 01:12:14,704 --> 01:12:16,622 Yes. Yes, I think I'm ready. 751 01:12:57,539 --> 01:12:59,055 Thirteen, black! 752 01:13:38,889 --> 01:13:40,135 You all right? 753 01:13:42,408 --> 01:13:44,335 You don't think we should have gotten here a little earlier? 754 01:13:44,652 --> 01:13:46,570 No, I don't want to do anything suspicious. 755 01:13:46,896 --> 01:13:48,488 I'm the first one who checks the vault. 756 01:13:49,773 --> 01:13:51,374 It should be good. We should be okay. 757 01:13:53,608 --> 01:13:55,488 All right, man. You want me to wait for you? 758 01:13:59,208 --> 01:14:00,771 Just like every other day, okay? 759 01:14:01,769 --> 01:14:03,332 Pick me up later. 760 01:14:47,769 --> 01:14:49,361 We've been robbed. 761 01:14:54,846 --> 01:14:58,327 Some punks... probably some hackers... 762 01:14:59,640 --> 01:15:02,766 broke in and stole all the money out of the ATM in the middle of the night. 763 01:15:08,606 --> 01:15:11,359 Listen, just to be safe, I want an inventory of the entire bank. 764 01:15:11,723 --> 01:15:14,878 I'd like you go back and check your drawer. Check the mini-vault. 765 01:15:18,119 --> 01:15:19,682 - Okay. - Great. 766 01:15:22,156 --> 01:15:23,681 Get to it, sport. 767 01:15:37,317 --> 01:15:38,563 Excuse me. 768 01:15:54,798 --> 01:15:56,313 So, this is the big one. 769 01:15:56,716 --> 01:15:58,596 This is it. I'm proud of you. 770 01:15:58,960 --> 01:15:59,881 Really? 771 01:16:00,197 --> 01:16:02,652 Well, I'm gonna go and try and blow them away. 772 01:16:02,757 --> 01:16:05,596 - All right, get out of here. - You get out of here. 773 01:16:16,355 --> 01:16:17,918 Excuse me, who's Rick? 774 01:16:43,387 --> 01:16:45,631 Jesus Christ! Can you help him with that? 775 01:16:48,546 --> 01:16:49,467 Thanks. 776 01:16:49,793 --> 01:16:51,193 Officer, could you just... 777 01:16:52,670 --> 01:16:54,789 - Who are you? - Carter Doleman. 778 01:16:54,914 --> 01:16:56,793 I think I'm supposed to start today? 779 01:16:57,148 --> 01:16:59,027 Yeah. We’ve just been robbed. 780 01:17:00,667 --> 01:17:02,230 That sucks, huh? 781 01:17:05,145 --> 01:17:08,876 Look, Conner, I just don't think we're going to be needing anybody right now. 782 01:17:08,952 --> 01:17:11,148 I appreciate your stopping by. Good luck. 783 01:17:22,224 --> 01:17:25,063 So you just want me to come back tomorrow at the same time? 784 01:17:25,705 --> 01:17:27,949 Chief, get lost. All right? 785 01:17:28,946 --> 01:17:32,063 Jim. Back with you. I think that... 786 01:17:33,070 --> 01:17:34,623 Well, we got it under... 787 01:17:48,787 --> 01:17:50,340 You know where the lavatory is? 788 01:17:51,347 --> 01:17:52,747 Yeah, it's over there. 789 01:17:54,540 --> 01:17:55,461 Thank you. 790 01:18:02,221 --> 01:18:03,660 You okay? 791 01:18:05,386 --> 01:18:06,584 Yeah. 792 01:18:45,977 --> 01:18:47,262 Woods. 793 01:18:49,535 --> 01:18:51,414 Join me in my office a second? 794 01:18:54,982 --> 01:18:56,861 Come on in. And shut the door. 795 01:19:04,772 --> 01:19:06,374 What happened to you? 796 01:19:09,299 --> 01:19:11,811 - Just a desert thing. Nothing. - Great. 797 01:19:14,093 --> 01:19:15,330 Have a seat. 798 01:19:21,774 --> 01:19:23,337 Congratulations. 799 01:19:26,214 --> 01:19:27,816 It looks like you... 800 01:19:28,813 --> 01:19:31,651 might be the new Bank Manager. 801 01:19:37,453 --> 01:19:39,332 Where are you going, Woods? 802 01:19:40,972 --> 01:19:42,209 I quit. 803 01:19:44,808 --> 01:19:46,054 Quit. 804 01:19:53,294 --> 01:19:55,174 You're the new Bank Manager. 805 01:19:57,447 --> 01:20:00,467 That's great, Rick. You know what, though? I've actually been... 806 01:20:00,889 --> 01:20:03,728 believe it or not, I've been thinking about quitting. 807 01:20:05,645 --> 01:20:07,573 Congratulations, Shella. 808 01:20:09,884 --> 01:20:11,773 You're the new Bank Manager. 809 01:20:14,966 --> 01:20:16,846 You deserve it. You worked hard. 810 01:20:20,451 --> 01:20:22,609 You are such an amazing woman. 811 01:20:25,246 --> 01:20:28,084 Maybe we could grab a cup of coffee, or something. 812 01:20:30,002 --> 01:20:31,565 Come on over to the condo and... 813 01:20:32,889 --> 01:20:34,768 make fondue. 814 01:20:35,123 --> 01:20:36,686 Like old times. 815 01:20:39,409 --> 01:20:41,289 I would really love to. 816 01:20:42,008 --> 01:20:43,562 I really would. 817 01:20:45,844 --> 01:20:48,088 But I'm a glorious bird... 818 01:20:49,363 --> 01:20:51,281 and I've got to fly. 819 01:20:58,924 --> 01:21:00,439 I quit. 820 01:21:04,524 --> 01:21:07,257 I will have the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger... 821 01:21:07,679 --> 01:21:10,527 with a large criss-cut fries, and a large criss-cut Coke. 822 01:21:12,799 --> 01:21:14,401 And a Garden salad. 823 01:21:15,398 --> 01:21:18,563 And you know that? Let me grab those fried zucchini thingies... 824 01:21:19,243 --> 01:21:20,797 with Ranch dressing. 825 01:21:21,804 --> 01:21:23,357 Okay. Anything else? 826 01:21:24,364 --> 01:21:26,877 - How's the chocolate cake? - It's all right. 827 01:21:27,557 --> 01:21:28,957 Yeah? Cake me. 828 01:23:01,945 --> 01:23:03,192 Hey, Dickman! 829 01:23:03,873 --> 01:23:05,110 Doleman. 830 01:23:09,185 --> 01:23:11,065 You might want to go back inside. 831 01:23:11,707 --> 01:23:14,258 They might be looking for somebody after all. 832 01:23:15,907 --> 01:23:17,432 Awesome, man! Thanks! 833 01:23:42,268 --> 01:23:43,707 Got it for you. 834 01:23:46,104 --> 01:23:47,705 Let me just get that for you. 835 01:23:48,300 --> 01:23:49,863 Sorry about the hassle. 836 01:23:54,428 --> 01:23:55,943 Here we go. 64881

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