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1
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:12,360
Oh my God, you guys,
it's happening.
2
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,710
It's the "Shock-a-Con"
Talk-a-thon.
3
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,800
I'm Janet Carney and along with
Rico Java down on the floor,
4
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,889
we will be with you
the entire time,
5
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:23,066
live streaming coverage,
non-stop, 24 hours a day.
6
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,894
Down to you, Rico.
7
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:27,288
24 hours a day?
Just you and me?
8
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,898
Well, that sounds like
a terrible idea
9
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,770
and one that I'm just hearing
for the first time now.
10
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:33,598
I am not looking forward to this.
11
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,513
Have you heard about
the "Spectrum" reunion?
12
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:38,081
People are dying for this reunion.
13
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,256
Everyone but Bruise Camp-Bell,
14
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,737
who actually
died before the reunion.
15
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,217
Yeah, it totally sucks.
16
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,654
But you know what doesn't suck?
Jack Moore,
17
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:48,135
bringing the star power.
18
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:49,788
Also, Wray Nerely is here.
19
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,790
Hey, did you hear
Tiffany Gizela made it?
20
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:54,228
Janet: She had to leave this
season of
"So You Think You Can Judge"
21
00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,491
three separate times
due exhaustion.
22
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,970
Yeah, I mean,
I'm not one to judge,
23
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,930
but I guess also neither is she.
24
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,540
What about Stutter Dawes?
25
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,021
He was on the news for occupying
federal lands or something.
26
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,850
Yeah, that was all about
chicken grazing rights,
27
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:12,028
so I guess now "Spectrum"'s got
their
own ex-con at the Shock-a-Con.
28
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,943
Janet:
And Brenda White is here.
29
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,597
Does she still act?
30
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,166
Oh yeah, no, she's been
the spokeswoman for, uh, Nutra
Malt
31
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,819
and WaistWatchers
32
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,430
and Pounder Weightloss.
33
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,475
So, she has range.
34
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,260
Yeah, about 150 to 200
35
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,783
from what I can tell
in the commercials.
36
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,393
We also have Dawn Jones.
37
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,308
I mean, the whole cast is here.
38
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,876
Here is a photo of Dawn and Wray
on the red carpet from many
years ago
39
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,312
that we cannot show you.
40
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:36,792
That's tomorrow.
41
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,924
But Rico, first, what is that
cool-ass obstacle course
42
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,491
- behind you?
- Oh, what, this?
43
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,711
It's from the "Ambivalence"
movie trilogy
44
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,191
to kick off the new threequel.
45
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:47,237
Oh, yes, I love
post-apocalyptic adventures.
46
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,369
Have you read the books?
47
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,587
- No.
- Me, neither.
48
00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:51,546
- So good.
- Uh, right?
49
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:54,984
My favorite one
was probably maybe two?
50
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:57,029
But guess who I've got with me?
51
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,989
The star of stage and screen
52
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,905
and the upcoming
"Ambivalence: The Uprising,"
53
00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:04,733
Miss Finley Farrow.
54
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,604
- Man: Oh, my God!
- Woman: Oh, my God!
55
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:09,607
- Hey.
- Hi, Rico, Janet, hi.
56
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:12,480
Hey, it's so cool
to meet you, Finley.
57
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,743
Oh, my God, hi, Finley.
It's me, hi!
58
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,441
So what is the deal
with this big obstacle course?
59
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,748
Well, it plays on a lot
of the themes from the movies.
60
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,053
You know today,
61
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:23,926
young people face
a lot of obstacles…
62
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:27,712
- A dying planet, war, famine…
- Yeah, yeah.
63
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:31,194
Yeah, uh, college debt,
uh, data caps,
64
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:34,110
what kind of filter to use
on your selfies? Yeah.
65
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,854
I don't think anyone has made it
past on the last obstacle yet.
66
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,943
The Blades of Damocles.
67
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,511
It looks like someone's coming up
on it now, let's take a look.
68
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,040
Oh, my God.
69
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,869
So I understand that you
are starring in a new television
series
70
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,479
called "Doctor Cop Lawyer."
71
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:56,698
Is she okay?
72
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,613
Woman:
Jesus, help me, God!
73
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:02,965
So, has the rest of the cast been
decided for "Doctor Cop Lawyer"?
74
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,662
Uh, no spoilers.
75
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:07,535
Ho, oh.
I got a spoiler for you.
76
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,977
Did you say Finley Farrow?
77
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,459
I am not getting
that ex-dancer vibe, you know.
78
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,591
Oh, screw it, I'm not bitter.
79
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,854
What the hell?
80
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,900
"Welcome to the Shock-a-Con."
81
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,685
This is all just
wrappers and peels.
82
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,513
Well, I've been staying here
since Wednesday.
83
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,167
My houseboat got impounded.
84
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:33,778
This is your bedroom.
85
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:36,520
I just straightened up.
86
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,916
- Why…? Is this damp?
- Yeah.
87
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,919
Wray, I have some
good news for you.
88
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,356
Huck Hemsworth has passed
on "Doctor Cop Lawyer."
89
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,142
So I am Doctor Officer Blade
Slater, Esquire?
90
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:53,450
Almost.
They found a lost Hemsworth.
91
00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:56,758
He spent the last 20 years
in the outback on a walkabout.
92
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,325
How many Hemsworths are there?
93
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:01,328
Oh, no one knows.
They're like zebras.
94
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:04,548
They herd together
so they can hide their numbers.
95
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:08,378
The new one's name is Girth.
96
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,554
Girth Hemsworth.
97
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:14,254
Hey, Finley Farrow
has final approval
98
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,081
of the casting of her co-star
99
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,953
and she's gonna be here
this weekend.
100
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:20,608
So we need to find her
and you need to impress her
101
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,784
because guess who else
is gonna be here?
102
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,742
- Girth.
- Girth?
103
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,745
Pick yourself up
by your boob straps,
104
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,965
and you seduce that starlet.
105
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,183
No, no, I don't.
106
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,098
I need to take a nap
107
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,187
because I'm going to see
the "Spectrum" cast today
108
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,754
and those people are crazy.
109
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,017
You should get man tips
from Stutter.
110
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,932
He makes his own
bourbon and beef jerky.
111
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,848
- I also make my own camouflage.
- Jesus!
112
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:47,417
I heard about your little
Australian problem.
113
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,854
- Stutter.
- Damn foreigners.
114
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:52,988
Coming into our country,
taking our jobs.
115
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:55,382
I'll get rid of him for you.
116
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,819
Did you just casually offer
to murder someone?
117
00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,300
He's not a citizen.
It wouldn't be murder.
118
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,823
Yeah, that's still murder.
119
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,651
It's perfect murder.
120
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,348
I make my own guns.
121
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,784
They're untraceable.
122
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:10,832
I start with a hunk of raw steel.
123
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:14,270
I hew and chip away
124
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,098
until the spirit firearm…
125
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,360
What the?
126
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:20,015
…is found within.
127
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,451
This is a pistol.
128
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,673
This is a gun.
129
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:28,502
It's more a work of art than a gun.
130
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:29,894
I don't think it's either.
131
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,201
In order for me to sell them
at my booth,
132
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:33,985
I have to say they're works of art.
133
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,726
Part of the convention loophole.
134
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,380
What are you doing in my room?
135
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,686
Our room.
136
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:41,123
- I'm on stakeout.
- Who are you staking out?
137
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,646
Tiffany.
138
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,344
You are three months sober.
139
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,823
Don't blow this.
140
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,609
It's the crowds.
Everyone just wants a piece of you.
141
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:51,176
They took all my good pieces.
142
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,831
- No!
- No.
143
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:57,052
Ah. It's just water.
144
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,794
Well, I had to refill them
so they wouldn't charge us.
145
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,186
They're all just water?
146
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:02,623
I've been here since Wednesday.
147
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,668
I'm her court-appointed guardian.
148
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,454
I'm keeping her from harm's way.
149
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:10,239
Damn it, Wray.
150
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:11,632
It's loaded.
151
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,330
There was no trigger.
Doesn't it have a safety?
152
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,811
It is a gun, Wray.
It is safety.
153
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:19,291
Black turtle, keep away.
They're shooting at me.
154
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,641
Black turtles.
155
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:21,946
- Black turtles everywhere.
- Brenda?
156
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,296
Brenda-- oh my God,
you have lost so much…
157
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,428
Wait a minute.
158
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,430
Wray, Pounders is after me.
159
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,040
Never stop moving.
Never sleep.
160
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,303
I think maybe you do need to sleep.
161
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:32,740
- No.
- Who do you owe?
162
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,306
Pounders Weight Loss.
163
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,439
They were going to pay me $10,000
164
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,442
for every pound I lost,
but I gained150.
165
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,444
What's with the throat sack?
166
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:44,621
Oh, stubborn last seven pounds.
167
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,536
- $70,000.
- You know what?
168
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,190
Hey, uh, everybody.
169
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,758
I-- I want--
I really want you to get out.
170
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:53,761
Yeah, yeah, everybody out.
Out, out!
171
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,547
No, Tiffany, no.
172
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:03,684
Hey, Wray, I'm gonna do a little
recon on Girth Hemsworth.
173
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:08,602
I'm gonna dig up some dirt on
Girth.
174
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:11,213
Get some rest.
175
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,649
Girth dirt.
176
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,741
- Hi, Wray.
- God.
177
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,700
Damn it, Dawn.
178
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,876
Well, how did--
179
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:25,314
- how did you get in here?
- The rooms are all connected.
180
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,751
- Mine's right next door.
- Of course.
181
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,406
Come with me to the bed.
182
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:37,500
- Is this bed damp?
- Yeah, Bobbie.
183
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,415
Okay.
184
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,418
Look, um…
185
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,769
Wray, I've been thinking
a lot about us.
186
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:48,598
- I know what this is about.
- Yeah?
187
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:51,775
And, um, you know, what?
I'm too tired to fight it.
188
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:58,565
- Let's do it on the floor.
- How dare you?
189
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,393
Okay, put--
put your watch back on.
190
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,395
I am a different person, Wray.
191
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:06,529
- Motherhood has changed me.
- Since when?
192
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:10,446
For God sake,
my twins are right next door.
193
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,231
Look, okay.
194
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,842
I-- I just came to your room today
195
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:18,236
to tell you that I am not coming
to your room this weekend.
196
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,022
- Okay.
- So if you will excuse me,
197
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,460
I am going to go breastfeed
one of my twins.
198
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,854
Aren't they like four?
199
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:29,030
It's a natural bonding process.
200
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:32,294
Okay, well, then why are you
only feeding one of them?
201
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,731
Well, the other one's
been getting handsy.
202
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,607
That's…
203
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,047
Where's Jack?
204
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,570
The VIP room.
205
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,006
Oh, my God!
206
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:57,711
Oh, here we go.
207
00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:01,323
Um, no, it's okay.
Hello, that's Jack Moore.
208
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,499
That's Jack Moore, he's my friend.
Don't-- you're gonna push me?
209
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,109
- Wray? Wray?
- I can push you back.
210
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,546
- Rodrigo. Rodrigo.
- What the hell?
211
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:07,938
Rodrigo, it's all right.
That's Wray.
212
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,940
He's my best friend.
He's okay.
213
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,725
But good job, good job, big guy.
214
00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:13,465
Good job, man.
215
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,119
What the hell is this?
216
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,644
Cardboard cutouts.
Pretty lifelike, right?
217
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,297
Helps me meet my con-bligations.
218
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:21,517
All the V.V.I.P.'s get them.
219
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,520
Oh. I-- I…
220
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,391
I didn't get one.
221
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,612
- I guess I am just a V.I.P.
- Oh, actually that's the I.P.
badge.
222
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,483
You're two very's short,
which is too bad.
223
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:34,008
Because the V.V.I.P.'s
get some pretty sweet perks.
224
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,532
That guy in the corner.
He's doing my taxes.
225
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,839
Hot tip.
Belize is the new Panama.
226
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,580
Yeah. Okay.
227
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,407
This is it, buddy.
We did it.
228
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,018
We're here.
"Shock-a-Con."
229
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:46,150
- "Shock-a-Con."
- Is the rest of the cast here?
230
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,935
Yeah.
231
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,327
Yes.
232
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:52,809
I think they're here
in more ways than one.
233
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:55,986
Okay.
234
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,901
It's just a ficus.
235
00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:01,383
I saw 'em for about, uh,
ten minutes
236
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:02,950
- and I'm already going crazy.
- Well, listen.
237
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,908
Can you keep a handle on 'em
for the weekend?
238
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:08,564
Okay, just until
I'm finished securing financing.
239
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,261
You haven't secured financing?
240
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,654
It's not a…
241
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:14,048
It's all but done,
but you can handle them, right?
242
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,180
- Yeah.
- Okay.
243
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,313
Oh, hey, did I tell you?
244
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,576
I'm still in the running
for "Doctor Cop Lawyer."
245
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,273
Of course you are.
246
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,580
- For the lead, man.
- Of course.
247
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,278
And they just signed
Finley Farrow.
248
00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:30,368
- What? I love her.
- I know.
249
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,154
It's just between me
and one Hemsworth.
250
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:36,505
Tough break.
251
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:39,160
Well… what?
252
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,423
Um, I'm sorry.
253
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,991
This looks great.
Can I get a little privacy?
254
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:45,253
Thank you so much.
255
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,259
Out.
256
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,566
I-- I-- didn't mean for…
257
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,526
- Should I go?
- No.
258
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,616
Hey, you're one great-looking guy.
259
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,444
Yes, sir.
See you, Jack.
260
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:05,577
Um, I got a couple cameos to do.
261
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,841
I understand.
262
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,407
Listen.
263
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:13,237
I just lost the Agent Hammertoe
franchise to a Hemsworth.
264
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,457
- What?
- Plus some other projects.
265
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,633
Careers can be funny things.
266
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,243
It's a pretty volatile time
right now.
267
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,682
Yeah, I've heard that,
but you, man.
268
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,684
- How volatile?
- You know, it's zeitgeist-y.
269
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:27,251
It's vertical integration.
270
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,862
Right now
my movie career is suffering
271
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:33,388
a ablation of brand affection.
272
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,172
I've never heard you talk like
this.
273
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:37,871
Hey, man,
I've got "Spectrum."
274
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:41,483
I'm going into my past
so that I can move forward.
275
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:42,919
Excuse me, Mr. Moore.
276
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:45,182
Your relaxation massage is ready.
277
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:46,618
Thank you so much.
278
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:49,056
Hey, you need anything?
Laser eye surgery?
279
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:52,146
- Sandwich? Anything?
- No, oh my God, no.
280
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:56,498
Ooh, this is all I need.
That is good.
281
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:59,457
Oh, that's in there.
282
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,720
It's in there.
283
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,115
I didn't realize
things were so bad, man.
284
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,901
Going back to your past
to move forward into the future.
285
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,337
I don't know, man.
286
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:12,906
I've been living in my past
for the last ten years.
287
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:16,387
It's lonely.
It is rough. It is tough.
288
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,393
Yeah. Yeah.
20815
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