Original subtitles

GAAAAA! GREEAAYUHH! PLAAAAAAA!

SHAAA! GOOAAA! FPPAAAAAA

HYEEEEE!

AAAAAAH! EEEEEEEH!

Alright guys, great battle attacks.

We're just gonna take a second.

Alright?

Man that was amazing. Milo,

-that 'GREEAAYUHH', that was fuckin' amazing. -Thanks man, yea

-but what about Jerry's 'SHA KHA FUUUUHH' -Yeah.

Thank you for your service soldier.

Thank you for your service soldier.

Thank y- f- me, me for my service soldier.

I actually thought that doing video games was beneath me,

-Okay, Wray? -Yeah? -We're moving on.

This is the biggest battle in the video game.

Milo, stay

with your character, Sawtooth.

Jerry, you're good with Gutterdog

Wray, we're gonna switch this up a little bit.

Okay, instead of doing Razorburn,

we want you to read Marion.

Marion?

Yes, Marion. He's in your script.

He shows up in the battle now.

-Uh…is Marion a guy? -Yes, yes

the producers tell me that he is. But, look, your voice

has this unique quality that we think is going to be more effective

-with the Marion storyline. -Is he still

a super soldier though?

That's the name of the video game.

Alright, Milo you're up. Go!

Time's up!

Game over! Time's up.

Game over.

Time's up! Game over.

Nice. Nice, now Jerry,

line 35.

Die in pain!

-Die in pain! Die in pain! -Perfect, okay

Wray, you are up. Line 40.

I'm scared. This hurts.

I'm scared. This hurts. I'm scared. This hurts.

Okay Wray, we're gonna give you a little background on your character.

You are bleeding, from a gunshot wound

to the rectum.

-The rectum? -Yes, Rectum.

Okay…

Okay so you think you might die. This is gonna be take two.

Pain, Fear.

Ow, oh, I…I'm scared, this hurts.

This hurts. I'm scared, this fvvhrrr.

I'm scared this hurts.

-Yes! -That?

-You made me feel it, good. -I definitely felt it too

it was like menstrual cramps.

Okay, we're gonna do another round gentlemen,

just like that. Keep that intensity. Ready!

Your entrails are your extrails! Your entrails are your extrails!

Yes. Jerry.

Stop breathin'! Stop breathin', the choke's on you.

Nice! Great, great ad-lib.

You're choking him and taunting him, yes!

-Alright, Wray, continuing on. -I'm sorry, can I um -

sorry okay, quick question.

Is Marion showing courage here by leading the others to safety?

Let's hide!

…No…no. Still bleeding from the rectum.

You're afraid. Dig deep, and…

Let's hide.

Let's hide! Let's hi-! Let's hide! Let's all

of us hide! Hide me!

Let's hide and recoup, and heal our wounds,

gain strength and then take it to the enemy!

Uh, no ad-libs.

-He just ad-libbed. -Eh, y'know,

let's move on. More punches, more kicks… Down the line

starting with Milo.

HO! HAIIIYAH!

KAA. KAHEEEAYAH

HAAAA I fell on my keys!

BA! KEEEYAH! KLUHHHUHH!

MUHAAAH! MAAH KOOYUH!

HAIKAAH!

KAAAAAHAL I'm allergic to nuts! St…

I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not doin' it. I'm done.

-This is… Marion's lines suck. -Alright one second.

Are you serio- have you ever seen anything like this before?

-I thought it was great. -You just gotta commit to it.

-Just commit, sell it. -Okay Wray, Mhm.

Here's the thing, it, your voice.

It doesn't naturally convey strength.

Well not when I'm giv-

Not when I'm given lines like,

"The salt in my tears is stinging my cuts!"

-That, I believed. That was beautiful. -Can I try something else?

Can I try s- a different voice? I can

do different voices. Let me just try a different

voice that is maybe a little bit more manly, a little different from my own.

-One last chance. -Thank you.

Oooh Shit!

I'mma woop yo' ass, bitch!

I'mma take ma' fist 'n stick it up ya dick.

I'mma punch ya in the teeth,

and you gon' swallow 'em 'n they come out in ya poop.

You slimy, slumpy,

stumpy, shitty foooool, bitch!

Thank you.

Thank you, Wray. Thank you for your service.

Okay thank you for that.

Hey buddy!

Hey buddy, what are you doin'?

Well I just quit Super Soldiers 3

-Why? -Yeah 'cause they're, man I…

They didn't appreciate… They're racist.

-What? -Is there a Japanese guy

-juggling knives back there? -Yeah I flew uh Jiro Ono in from Japan to teach

me how to make sushi. He's, he's smashed on sake. So am I.

-You should be too. -Oh, that's Jiro Ono.

You know what, screw video games.

-I got something better for us to do. -What?

A movie.

You want, you want me in one of your movies?

Are you kidding me? I mean I ca- I ca- I,

you know I'm um, I'm tech avail,

-but I can check my schedule. -I mean, Spectrum was so

long ago now man, I miss working with you.

Come on over we'll talk about it!

Okay I'm, I'm, I'll be over in a few.

Come over right now. I miss working with you man!

Are you kidding me?

Hey, Nerely! Hey man, hold up.

-Hey. Hey. -Hey, listen.

Yeah hold on, hold on a second I…

That, was some ballsy shit man. I mean just walkin' right out of

there. Very, un-Marion-like,

but yo, respect man.

I, yeah… you know, they asked me to leave.

I thought the security guard was unnecessary…

-A bit excessive, but… -Yeah…

Hold on.

Listen, I've got this appearance I'm supposed to go to tonight,

at Jammer comics for their grand opening.

I can't make it, I've got this date.

-Can you fill in for me? -Wait.

It's really simple. You sign some shit,

you got a panel with a bunch of other voice-over actors.

Really easy.

Did you already tell them that I'm doing it?

No, I just, I got the idea inside when I heard you doing that last voice.

The guy with the fissure in his ass?

No, no no no, it was the last voice.

The Rigmarole voice.

-You know Rigmarole? -I know Rigmarole.

-Nobody knows Rigmarole! -I know Rigmarole!

I didn't know he was a white guy.

W' Sup Bitch is my all-time favorite cartoon.

And Rigmarole was my favorite character.

And then they put him on the end of these uh,

VHS truck and tractor pull blooper tapes.

Yeah Monster Trucks are huge down in Orange County man, I love that shit.

I don't, I never knew what they did with W' Sup Bitch I, I, I

thought they just dug a hole in the New Mexico desert

and just chucked every copy in there.

You know I did four voices on that thing.

I did Taj,

who'd run into the village and he'd eat pieces of his goat.

-Do Rigmarole. -I'll do Rigmarole.

-Break it down. -Rigmarole would break it down

wouldn't he? He'd break it down girl, look at 'chu.

Oooh damn you like a sack 'a potatoes,

except none of 'em peeled. Wooooo shit you sweet 'n salty.

I'mma rub summ'in on ya, that's wet 'n sticky,

make your limp bits bumpy,

and scratchin' my face wit' ya pussy.

You're gonna kill it tonight

man. Hey have fun, people are gonna love you.

Wait wait, no no no, I'm not, I ca- I, look, I…

Thank you but, but, but no.

-Why? Why? -Why? Because, look I'm

I'm makin' a uh, movie with Jack Moore, and we…

aaah you son of a… What the f-

Wait a minute, are you doing a Spectrum movie?

No we're not gonna do a Spectrum movie.

I mean, I don't, that was a TV show, okay? We're gonna do,

We're gonna do a, a, a, another movie.

A Hollywood movie.

So what's the other movie you're doing?

It's a big uh, big Hollywood m- aaah dammit!

Look I can't talk about it

because we are um, we're in um,

we're in pre-pro, and ya know, whenever I'm in like in pro

or like, ya know, post, mid to post pro.

So you can go tonight? Great, you can go tonight.

-No. -Just say yes. -No.

-Say yes. -No.

They're gonna pay you 5,000 dollars.

Yeah, I'll do it.

Thank you, I owe you.

You don't wear a helmet?

No. God dammit. God dammit!

Son of a bitch.