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1
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Meanwhile on Con Man
2
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:05,875
I have the script. It's
a western! Clint Eastwood!
3
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,094
Hush it down!
4
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,966
-No one can know about this.
-I'm Karen.
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,796
-The convention sent
over a personal assistant.
-She's dressed just like me.
6
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:16,146
I just came to get my
lucky pen back.
7
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,105
-Is that his pen?
-No, it is not.
8
00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:21,586
You are insinuating that Mr.
Nerely is a petty thief.
Leave the line now!
9
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,893
Is that the script? That
was in my pocket.
10
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,286
Yeah, so was your wallet.
11
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:28,767
I needed to get some cash so I
could make extra copies.
12
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:32,467
I think Clint wouldn't mind if I
rehearsed with you.
13
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,773
Ok. Hush. Hush, please.
14
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,313
Oh perfect.
15
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,228
Oh great. This is wonderful.
16
00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,448
Lights, camera, action.
17
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:01,844
You sit here. So, let
me just sort of set
18
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,889
the stage for you. Alright.
19
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:07,763
Now, the wagon train has been
attacked by Indians.
20
00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:09,112
Yeah, I know.
21
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,418
Okay there are dead
bodies everywhere thrown
22
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:12,028
around like dirt!
23
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,162
This way, that way, they're all
over, they're spread apart.
24
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:20,471
Ok…and we're tired.
And we're very thirsty.
25
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:24,084
We're scared.
But we're still alive!
26
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:25,302
And…Go!
27
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:29,611
Buzzards.
28
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,397
Do you think they know
what we don't?
29
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,225
It's been days Tucker.
30
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:40,317
-What should we do?
-Nothing. Not 'til Cody…
31
00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,014
He's dead.
32
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:47,063
Everyone is dead.
No, Cody made it out.
Cody made it out!
33
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:51,676
-Tucker I can't see.
I can't see.
-Be still.
34
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,809
-I can't see anything.
-Be still.
-Is that you?
35
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:56,072
Be still!
Be still.
36
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:59,858
You're bleeding again.
37
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:07,127
You smell that?
That's my wound that's infected.
38
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,869
Stop it! Bobbie!
What are you doing?
39
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:14,699
You're supposed to be playing
an old man. A dying old cook.
40
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:17,311
Well, I thought cookie was a
sassy prostitute.
41
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:22,316
Where are you getting that?
Crusted chili baked into his beard.
42
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,231
That is…it is not in the line.
43
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:28,887
No it's not always in the lines.
It's what's behind the lines.
44
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:34,284
Yeah. I got that tip
on the set of Kojak
45
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:38,897
from Mr. Telly Savalas.
That wasn't the only tip
46
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:41,813
that he gave me that day.
He is big tipper.
47
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:45,687
Ok. I wanna wanna…
I wanna work on this alone now.
48
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:51,562
Oh, really, ok.
Well, let me give you a
little lesson. Alright?
49
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:56,915
Acting is half reacting.
Watch my snuffs.
50
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,102
Oh you've got to be kidding me!
51
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,582
How the…Bobbie!
52
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:18,110
I rip out your heart and
show it to your dying eyes!
53
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:23,986
Die human!
54
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:28,556
Jerry Jerry, Jerry, stop it man!
55
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:35,389
Oh I got you so good!
You were so scared.
56
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,565
-I was not.
-Yes, you were.
57
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:42,439
I knew it was you.
It was that character
you did for that video game.
58
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:46,443
-Hey, missed you in Vegas.
-Screw Vegas.
59
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,446
This thing stinks!
60
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:53,015
Yeah, it's a little bit steamier
than the Mo-cap suit
61
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:56,975
but it smells like
wolf urine and brie.
62
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,107
I kind of like it.
63
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:02,416
Ow ow ow. Oh I'm broken.
64
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:07,072
Oh it's the back?
I got something for that.
65
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,815
You dick! I have to record
an audition this… Oh hey!
66
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,644
Can you help me record
an audition this weekend
for a movie
67
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:16,691
for Clint Eastwood western.
68
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,170
Why are you whispering?
69
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:21,783
Because it's top secret
and nobody can know about it.
70
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,698
Does Clint know?
71
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,139
Cures what ails you.
72
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:34,796
I don't know man.
Is it strong?
73
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,625
Naw.
Unless, you're drinking.
74
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,017
Well, I'm not drinking.
75
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,584
I'm going to be doing a little
76
00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:42,934
cross species breeding
this weekend.
77
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:48,288
That requires a lot of booze.
78
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:52,988
Oh, see you in about 20 at that
thing with those people, right?
79
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:57,035
Yeah, give me a little bit.
80
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:07,350
Ow! Hey!
81
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:10,135
-Hey buddy!
-Hey buddy, how's it going man?
82
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,007
Oh I'm bored.
83
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,314
I finally have a day off and
relaxing feels like failure.
84
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,011
Why aren't you here man?
You cancelled.
85
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:19,057
No, my assistant cancelled.
He's not working out.
86
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,755
I wish I was there with you.
87
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:24,498
I wish I was there.
Hey man, I have an audition
88
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:27,675
for Clint Eastwood.
For a Western.
89
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,460
And I was wondering
if you knew him.
90
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:33,898
I don't know.
Maybe put in a good word for me?
91
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:38,076
All famous people don't know all
the other famous people, Wray.
92
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,426
But yeah I know him.
93
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,818
He borrowed my lawn mower.
He owes me a favor.
94
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,820
Seriously dude, thank you so much!
95
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,257
I still can't find the lawn mower.
96
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:54,136
Si, I love poker. You know I
speak English. I went to USC.
97
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:57,966
We'll see. I'm going to win some
free landscaping off these
Chilangos. Let's go.
98
00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,447
-Thank you, thank you man.
-You bet.
99
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,895
These are the platinum members.
100
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,853
Talk to each table for 15 minutes.
101
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:18,247
When the bell rings switch tables.
102
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:20,031
I'm not that interesting.
103
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:23,687
People are here to have
fun Wray. Be fun.
104
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,255
Remember Lieutenant be
who they think you are.
105
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:28,431
No, that didn't work.
106
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:31,216
Then just be yourself.
107
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:37,962
Be myself. I can do that.
Thank you. Be myself.
108
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,189
Thank you.
109
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,931
Smile.
110
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:55,197
So, anybody
have any questions? Yeah.
111
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,113
Are you guys ever going to
make a Spectrum movie?
112
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:03,640
God, I hope not.
Any other questions?
113
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,207
Nothing?
114
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,730
So, after Spectrum,
115
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,515
what's your favorite sci-fi
project that you've done?
116
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:13,476
Oh, Galactic Justice,
that one blew. Um uh.
117
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,262
Time Jackers that one sucked.
Infant One sucked.
118
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,526
Infant Two sucked even more.
119
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:23,355
But they didn't suck anywhere
near as bad as the prequel
120
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:26,489
Into the Womb:
Back to the Fetus.
121
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,491
The alien baby was awesome.
122
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,320
I bet you think that about all
babies because you're
123
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:32,974
about to have one.
124
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:34,628
One what?
125
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,020
One what?
126
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:41,722
If you could do any movie what
superhero would you be?
127
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,811
If I could do any movie, it
wouldn't be a superhero movie.
128
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,769
I would do a Cohen brothers movie.
129
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,336
I would do a Wes Anderson movie.
130
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,077
You don't like sci-fi?
131
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,122
Let me be honest with you.
132
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,345
I hate sci-fi.
133
00:07:56,388 --> 00:08:00,697
Nerely!
Who's ready for some hard stuff?
134
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,265
It's unanimous.
135
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,225
Lose the flask Bilbo.
136
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:09,924
Let's do this!
137
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,894
Oh my God! Oh my God!
138
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,983
Have you…have you seen her?
139
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:29,160
This is the best Belaran
costume I've ever seen.
140
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:32,729
Ever since we went off the air,
I've never seen a Belaran.
141
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,383
The scariest race in Spectrum.
142
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:38,518
I'm sorry. I've made you
some bourbon balls.
143
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:39,867
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
144
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,999
-That is very nice of you.
-I hope you like it.
145
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,567
How do you put bourbon into balls?
146
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,351
Carefully.
147
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,659
-She's shy.
-Yeah ok.
148
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,400
-Alright.
-No nope.
149
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,402
What are you doing
with my bourbon balls?
150
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,970
I'll keep these for you.
151
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,841
Then let's just drink some bourbon!
152
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,627
Yes! Bourbon for Mr. Nerely.
153
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,629
Come on everybody!
154
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,769
You are a crazy man!
155
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:16,730
You look just like that fuckin'
guy who's at the other bar!
156
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:20,560
Andy Serkis. What's so great
about Andy Serkis?
157
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:24,302
Circus is where clowns live.
158
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,698
You know what I've never
seen at any circus?
159
00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:33,964
And I've been to circuses
all over the world.
160
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:37,228
You know what I haven't
seen at any circus?
161
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,318
Your penis?
162
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:48,022
You know it's the
corporatization of America.
163
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:52,940
Then they come in, all the
studios are corporations now.
164
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:58,685
They are retarding art.
165
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,383
Exactly!
166
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:04,865
Retardin' it all up.
12467
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