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1
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Meanwhile on Con Man
2
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,875
Are you Wray Nerely?
3
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:08,182
No, I am not.
4
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:10,488
Jack Moore. You guys are
best friends, right?
5
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,664
Retard.
6
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:17,626
-To impede or hinder.
-Those fans are retarding me.
-Be who they think you are.
7
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:21,934
Sean Aston? Is that your seat?
I am not moving.
8
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,327
What the hell, man?
9
00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:24,720
-Sir.
-Yes.
10
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,548
I'll need you to
take your seat, please.
11
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,419
Excuse me, sir. You wouldn't
happen to be a sci-fi
fan would you?
12
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,030
Fuck off.
13
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,075
I think this man might need some
warm nuts and maybe a towel.
14
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:36,384
Hot hot hot towel.
15
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:05,152
-Nerely! Don't eat them.
-Bobbie!
16
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:07,328
What are you doing in my room?
17
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,025
I wanted to make sure
you got in okay.
18
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,768
I'm not okay. I'm not okay.
Look, I'm broken.
19
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:15,379
Here. Why don't I get you something
20
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,860
-from the medicine chest?
-Oh God.
21
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:19,775
The promoters say that
they're very very sorry.
22
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:22,952
This is the cost difference
between first class and coach,
23
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:24,997
minus my 15 percent.
Here.
24
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,913
Could you just put it on the
table. I want to let it cool
off a little bit.
25
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:30,829
Oh, there's a script for you.
26
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,100
This is just a non-disclosure
agreement.
27
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:42,363
No, no. I have the script.
28
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:45,366
-Bobbie!
-It's a western
with Clint Eastwood.
29
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:46,715
Hush it down.
Hush it down.
30
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:49,021
No one is supposed
to know about this.
31
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:51,023
Well, I can know.
I'm like your agent.
32
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,069
No, no you're not.
My agent is like my agent.
33
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,332
-I'm like your manager.
-No, you're like my science
34
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,334
fiction convention booker
because that's what you do.
35
00:01:57,378 --> 00:02:01,469
You book me at science fiction
conventions. This is
nothing to do with you.
36
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:06,648
I happen to have almost been in
a little Clint Eastwood movie
37
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:09,390
called "The Good, The Bad
and The Ugly."
38
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:12,393
-Really?
-Yeah, I auditioned for
"The Ugly."
39
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,048
He even had a nickname for me.
40
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:22,620
Dirty Harry and Mouthy.
41
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,144
Wray!
Come on.
42
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,581
-I know I can help you with this.
-No…
43
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:29,236
Here have a little bit of wine,
I think it's very expensive.
44
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,239
Alcohol makes my face bloat.
45
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:36,243
-I have to play
30 for this role.
-Oh boy, that's a stretch.
46
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,940
Hey move over.
47
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,855
-Come on, let's go
over the script together.
-No no, Bobbie.
48
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,857
No, really!
I think there is a
part in it for me.
49
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,337
-No.
-What? Come on!
50
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:47,776
-What, are you in pain?
-Why are you watching Spectrum?
51
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,125
Oh the hotel channel?
52
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:53,085
They are doing a whole marathon
in your honor.
53
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,653
-They are big fans.
-You know?
54
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,394
Science fiction is supposed to
be about the future.
55
00:02:57,438 --> 00:03:00,267
Why are the fans so
obsessed with the past?
56
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,403
-I'm almost out!
-Who's that?
57
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,275
Oh, the convention sent over a
personal assistant.
58
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,624
How long has she been in there?
59
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:13,236
-She's sick. Poopy sick.
-Poopy sick?
60
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,630
Is she a volunteer?
61
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:19,764
-Volunteers are all fans.
-Well, everybody is a fan, Wray.
62
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,288
-Don't do that!
-What?
63
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:24,073
Your flattery retards my art.
64
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,944
Okay, it retards it right up!
65
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,602
Hello, Mr Nerely. I'm Karen.
66
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:35,345
You're dressed just like me.
She's dressed just like me.
67
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:39,523
Well, the shoes are off.
68
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,003
How is that possible?
69
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:43,745
Someone posted a picture
of you online from the airport,
70
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,922
and this way if stalkers are
following you I can draw
them away because
71
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:50,491
they will think I am you.
Plus, we're a team, right?
72
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:55,974
Yeah, there's no reason for
this. There will never ever be a
reason for a decoy.
73
00:03:56,888 --> 00:04:00,240
-Is that smell you?
-Oh, I'm sorry.
74
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:04,156
I think it was the Belaran
bourbon ball someone brought to
the party last night.
75
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,984
I do need a fan now, Bobbie.
76
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,204
I need one that spins
and moves the air around.
77
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,728
Oh come on Wray.
It's not that bad.
78
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,559
Let's go.
79
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,302
Such a little girl.
80
00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:35,623
Karen. Karen.
81
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:41,716
Karen had to crap a bunch more.
Oh, Wray look at that line.
82
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,327
I'm right over there,
83
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:48,070
signing autographs just a couple
of tables down from you.
84
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,942
-You're signing?
-Yes! You know I haven't always
85
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,596
been a talent booker. I was in
86
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,120
12 sci-fi films.
87
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:58,776
Okay, six.
88
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,778
Three.
89
00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:01,823
Two.
90
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,955
One.
91
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:05,217
Look,
92
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:08,569
Argh. I'm still
getting back spasms.
93
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:14,444
Hey, is spastic seasonal
94
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:18,143
-a thing?
-Yeah, it's a thing.
I had an aunt once who
95
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:22,409
-was lousy with that stuff.
-Hi, sorry. I'm good now.
-Good. Alright.
96
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,063
Are we ready team? Let's go!
97
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:29,198
-Um, right.
-Yeah. I'm on my own.
98
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,418
Okay, look, I have an
audition scene.
99
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:34,290
I want to rehearse so if we
could get through this line fast.
100
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:38,163
Let me see what you got.
101
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:03,319
-Is that you?
-Yes, it is.
102
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,540
Did they not have
photography back then?
103
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,555
Hey! You again.
104
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:22,904
Did you want me to finish
signing your shirt?
105
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,558
You know, I'm alright
106
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:29,171
with that. Uh…I just came to
get my lucky pen back from you.
107
00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:31,260
Sir, would you like an autograph?
108
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:34,829
Oh no. I have so many.
They're actually very heavy
in this tote.
109
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:38,963
Um that was given to me by Jason
Momoa, the good Conan.
110
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:41,531
So, if you could just give it
back, that is why I'm here.
111
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:44,491
Is that his pen?
112
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,364
No, it is not.
113
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:55,284
-You know Cash would
return the pen.
-Really?
114
00:06:55,327 --> 00:07:00,028
Well, my name is Wray and
this is my pen.
115
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,726
-No, it's not.
-Yes, it is.
116
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:03,988
-No, it isn't.
-Is.
117
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,425
-No, it's not.
-Is too!
118
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,731
Sir, you're insinuating that
Mr. Nerely is a liar,
119
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,994
a petty thief and
an arrogant asshole.
120
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:12,040
Leave the line now!
121
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,305
Damn.
122
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,306
Next.
123
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,134
Hi!
124
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,837
I'm a hugger.
Come on up here.
125
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:32,147
Sir, I need you to move.
126
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:37,021
I'm so sorry.
I'll bring my Taser next time.
127
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,459
-Okay.
-Next.
128
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:56,301
-Can you make it out to Kevin?
-Okay.
129
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,912
Kevin.
130
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,523
There we go.
131
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:12,492
-Can you just hand it to me?
-Yes, here you go.
132
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:17,540
Thank you very much.
Next.
133
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,072
Can you write something for me?
134
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:32,120
I think I know
what you want me to write.
135
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:36,341
I…will…
136
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:43,000
will…
137
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,306
see…
138
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,481
eee…
139
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,788
eee…you…
140
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,007
you…in…
141
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:53,141
Hell!
142
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,581
Your show helped me to
143
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:01,192
forget what happened to my village.
144
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,633
I burn it down.
145
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,463
Thank you. You are an angel
146
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,509
from the heaven.
147
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,383
Let's go.
148
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:24,172
Oh my God. That was amazing.
You are a machine.
149
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:25,347
-Thank you.
-You're a machine!
150
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:30,570
Thank you. I just…oh…oh…
151
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,487
A soft serve machine.
152
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:39,143
Remind me not to have any of
those bourbon balls while I'm here.
153
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:41,363
Is that my script?
That was in my pocket.
154
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,930
Yea, so was your wallet.
155
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,760
I needed to get some cash so I
could make extra copies.
156
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:51,852
-It's Clint Eastwood!
-Hush. Hush it down.
157
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:53,549
No one is supposed
to know about this.
158
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,640
Well, I think Clint wouldn't
mind if I rehearsed with you.
159
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:03,298
Okay. Hush. Hush, please.
Keep your voice down. Shh.
160
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:07,215
-Shh.
-I am a professional actress.
161
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:11,132
I have been in films, television,
162
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:15,049
plays, circuses, training videos,
163
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:19,270
commercials and snuff films.
So, I think I can be trusted
164
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:23,579
-to run an audition with you.
-Did you say snuff films?
165
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,495
Yes we botched the ending though.
166
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:31,456
-Okay, I will do this with you
if you keep quiet.
-Yes.
167
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,370
-Hush. Let's go.
-Yes yes.
168
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:38,159
-Can I hold the script?
-No. Okay.
12520
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