Original subtitles

Oh... Hey.

Didn't see youse there.

I just thought... I'd make a bit of breakfast.

And you are?

Oh, Jesus, sorry!

I'm Alex. Alexander Lydon.

Shiv's boyfriend.

Shiv's what?

Mmm.

Tom, this is Alex. Shiv's boyfriend.

Shiv's what? It's Tom, yeah?

Good to meet you. He made breakfast.

Mmm. These kippers...

Tom, will you have a kipper? No, no.

I was just going to... make myself a sandwich.

For work.

Looks great, though. Cheers.

You should've woken me.

You were snoring so sexily.

You know. THEY CHUCKLE

Coffee? Thanks.

Well, aren't you the dark horse?

Yeah, Shiv, didn't know you had a boyfriend.

So, are you an artist, Alex?

Me? No.

Oh, thank God.

Not that we don't love artists.

ALEX CHUCKLES

I was a chef for ten years,

but now I'm more on the business side of things.

He owns three restaurants.

Three restaurants?!

Yeah. One of them has a Michelin star.

Fuck off! A Michelin?!

Yeah. I mean, that's... Jeez, seriously, that...

What are you doing with Shiv?

Don't know.

Maybe I was blinded by her beauty, charisma and incredible talent?

Right. Yeah.

Well, I wish I could stay, but I'm meeting Billy.

Tom, when do you think you're gonna get the van back?

Cos I need the car, and it's been three weeks.

Well, er, if you need it now, sure I can leave it here.

We're just packing boxes today.

Yeah, but when will you be getting the van?

Er, better go. I'm catching the bus.

Oh, Jesus. These kippers are almost sexual.

DOOR CLOSES

How are you... getting on with the steps?

Good, yeah.

Billy's so supportive.

I know the moral inventory can be, er, emotional.

If you need any... I thought it was fine.

You've done the moral inventory? Uh-huh.

Takes some people m-months.

I think they make a bit of a song and dance about all of this stuff.

Billy says it's as hard as you make it.

Just shut up and get on with it, you know.

SHIV CHUCKLES

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Pathetic.

PHONE RINGS

Hey.

SHANE: 'Hey, babe. You all set for tonight?'

Oh, what's tonight? 'Brittas, baby.

'Massive session at Whiteser's, remember?'

Oh, erm... 'Right on the beach.

'We got a keg, we've got a bag of billies.

'We're gonna party till we puke. Ha-ha.'

Shit, I forgot.

I-I can't come to Brittas this weekend.

'Why?' Work, yeah.

'It's a bank holiday, baby.'

I know, but I'm trying to make consultant, so...

'Shit. Look, I'm seriously horny, too.'

Yeah, me, too. Me, too.

'Could you send me a snap of your tits?'

A what? 'Or your pussy.

'Last time you did that, it was kind of blurry, so...'

I'm outside a school, Shane!

'Why?' Doesn't matter.

Look, erm, could I just call you later?

I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

'Sure, babe, yeah. Er, think about the tits snap...'

PHONE RINGS

'What?' Shiv's got a boyfriend.

What?! 'Yeah.'

He owns three restaurants, he just cooked breakfast,

and he's actually kind of a ride.

Yeah, big fucking ride. How did this happen?

Did you tell her about the Michelin star?

Oh, he's got a Michelin star.

A Michelin s...

Does he know she's an alcoholic?

I think he's kind of into it.

Ah, shit! Er, the tram's here. I gotta go.

'Later, dude. Later, later, later.'

Thanks for this morning. With my family.

You were... amazing.

It was great to meet them.

They seemed... exactly like you said.

THEY LAUGH Yeah.

They... They can be a bit...

Nah, they were fine.

Yeah? Yeah.

Are they always so...?

What? HE CHUCKLES

Like, just the way they talk about your art and stuff.

Ah, no. That's just... It's just banter.

You know, they slag you off and say, "Get a real job",

but they don't, like... they don't, like, mean it.

OK.

I caused them a lot of hassle in the past, so...

So they appreciate how much you've changed, then?

And how brave that's been?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

No judgement. I don't even speak to half my family.

Is this a bit weird? Me taking you to a graveyard?

I thought this is where Carl's...

Yeah, but it suddenly feels...

like, I don't know, after breakfast and all the, the...

..I don't wanna freak you out.

Definitely not freaked out.

OK? Yeah, OK.

THEY LAUGH

Come on.

Wait, that's my dad. I thought he'd left for a shift.

Maybe we should give him some space, yeah?

Yeah.

Actually, you go on. I'm just... I'm gonna stay here.

OK.

Yeah, sorry, erm, I can't make it in today.

Feeling really rough with that stomach thing.

Yeah, I need to rest.

Er, I'll check in with you later.

Yeah. Bye.

Caroline? Brian.

Handy you were in the area.

I know, yeah. Really... handy.

First time I've had a date on my lunch break.

Right. I've got 45 minutes.

Oh, OK. Busy woman.

So, tell me about you, Brian.

What do you do, what are your goals?

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years -

married, kids, none of the above?

Er, order first. Obviously.

HE GRUNTS

PHONE CHIMES

Ah, f...!

Bernie.

Jack! Looking gorgeous.

Mmm, you smell... musky.

I haven't had a shower today.

Haven't had a shower all week.

Back to nature, Bernie. Huh?

And who's this? Isn't she great?

This is Stevie. After Stevie Nicks?

Could be, yeah. Could be.

You know, I really shouldn't be meeting you.

Shiv said... I know. I bumped into her.

I just wanna talk to her, Bernie. Mm.

There's been a lot going on, and she's one of my oldest mates.

Yeah.

And I'm a dad now.

Think you could help me?

No, there's been...

Look, I-I've been working for this company...

No, look, I-I just... I just want to be treated like...

Hello? Hello?! Agh!

WHISPERS: What the fuck?

SHE CLEARS THROAT

Karen? It's Caroline. Yeah.

Unreal. HE CHUCKLES

Liam. Liam.

Hey.

So exciting, isn't it? Yeah.

Being on a date.

I love successful, ambitious women.

I'm happy to be supported financially by a woman.

I make little porcelain animals for kids.

Mainly pigs. Do you like pigs?

It's not un-feminist to suggest a girl should shave.

I shave, I shave every fucking day.

I suppose I don't really have, like... goal-goals.

I love pigs.

I'm like a dolphin underneath this. OK.

Caroline? Hi.

Oh, wow, I know that look.

SHE SIGHS

How many have you done today? How many... what?

OK, I'll go first.

SOFTLY: Six.

Dates?! HE CHUCKLES

SHE SCOFFS

Yeah. I like to get them done in one big go.

Saves a bit of time, doesn't eat into my week.

Right.

Although, some days... HE SIGHS

I've had eight double espressos, two green teas

and not a single ounce of sexual chemistry today.

Oh, tell me about it.

Erm, Nick, graphic designer.

Laid-back, but with a sense of purpose.

Caroline. Exhausted.

HE CHUCKLES

Erm... coffee?

PHONE VIBRATES

SHE SIGHS

Just... Just a second.

Shiv, I've got two minutes, my date just got here.

You're back dating again? What happened to Shane?

'Nothing.'

But, I mean, you know, is he 100% the right guy for me?

Maybe not. Could there be someone better?

Very possibly.

Are our values in any way aligned? No.

I mean, these are big decisions.

You don't just glom onto the first guy who shows an interest.

'By the way, I hear you've a boyfriend?'

Yeah, Alex.

And he's... normal?

I'm going to ignore that.

Erm, look, I was just calling in case you know of any reason

why Dad's spent the last few hours picking up piles of dogshit.

Dogshit? W-why isn't he at work?

I don't know. Should we be worried?

About what?

'Dad!' Brilliant.

Can you call in 20 and say he's in hospital?

What?! Well, in case this guy's a freak.

If he's not, obviously, I just won't pick up. OK.

Caro...

SHE SIGHS So, sorry about that.

It was my... PA.

So, Nick... coffee?

Fuck it. Let's get wine.

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, my God...

HE SOBS

Hey!

What the fuck, man?! What are you doing?

Ugh...

Should we call the cops?

No. No.

Are you sure it wasn't some kind of kinky thing?

You know, rubber gloves, sandwich bag...

Whiff of flasher off it, isn't there?

He was crying, Karen.

He's having a breakdown.

Probably, yeah.

But sure, who isn't?

Anyway, the good news is, you stayed out of it.

That's recovery.

Stay in your own business,

clean up your own side of the street.

I mean, he's probably already cleaned it, but...

KAREN CHUCKLES

So you don't think I should say something to him?

Tell him what I... No! Not unless he comes to you.

Besides, men his age are very sensitive.

And they die.

They die? Mm.

Unless they have a woman. Or a man.

Or a dog, you know, something to keep living for.

I can't just let him die.

Yeah, but you can't control him either, cos that's co-dependency.

So what am I supposed to do?

Hand it over, share it with the group.

That's what we're here for.

Right, everyone, we're starting!

SOFTLY: Hiya, Frankie. Good woman.

MAN: Shiv. Oh, hi.

Sorry, we're about to have a meeting in here.

Yeah, I was hoping I could join.

Fine.

Christ.

So, Bernie.

You're wanting to release some finance? Yeah.

I have all the paperwork here.

And the amount you're looking for is...?

HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

You and Tom must have big plans up your sleeve. Yeah.

So, yeah, when the addict-y voice in my head starts going off

and I start feeling all edgy...

..just have to keep reminding myself,

a drink won't sort it.

A drink never sorts it.

Thanks, Mags. WOMAN: Nice one, Mags.

Anyone else... Thanks.

..have something to share?

Something they want to get off their chest?

SHE SCOFFS

Yeah.

Erm, I'll go.

Hi, I'm Jack.

You don't have to stand.

Oh.

I'm Jack, and, er, this is my first meeting.

APPLAUSE MAN: Well done.

WOMAN: Yeah, well done.

Thanks.

Er... It's inspiring listening to you guys.

Your, your vulnerability...

I've had a bit of a time of it these past few months...

Er, I suppose you might call it a... a wake-up call?

MAN: Yeah. WOMAN: Mm, yeah.

Had to take a good hard look at myself.

My... My behaviour, some of the things that I've done...

people I've hurt...

HE CHUCKLES

Hasn't been easy, but...

This group is for alcoholics.

Er... Yeah.

Did I not say that at the start? No.

I'm... an alcoholic. Mm-hm.

He's not an alcoholic. OK.

I could be an alcoholic. That's not how this works.

Can we stop the cross-sharing, please?

This group is for actual alcoholics.

Who are you to say who's an actual alcoholic? Yeah!

You shouldn't be here!

You can't tell him not to be here if he's got a drink problem.

I might have a drink problem. WOMAN: Yeah.

He doesn't have a fucking drink problem!

Right, you, out!

Me?! Now!

Come on.

Now look what you've done.

You made the babby cry. WOMAN: Ah.

BABY CRIES

Er... Hold on a sec.

Max, my man! How you getting on?

Well, we'll get to the quarter, look at the figures.

Probably have to make some tough decisions.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Course.

Yeah.

Well, I've had a shit day, but my boss likes you.

Obviously.

How are you? Good.

I have some news. Hm?

My brother Peter got that job in Spain. Mm.

He's moving out next month.

So you wanna rent it out?

So we'll have the place to ourselves.

You want me to move in?

Things are getting pretty crowded at your folks' place, don't you think?

So, would I pay rent or...? We'll work something out.

What do you mean?

Don't worry about it. We'll... We'll do mates' rates.

I-I don't need mates' rates.

Do you not think I can pay my own way?

Well, no, but, you know, you've been living at home, so...

I don't need you doing me any favours, Max...

I'm not. I just...

What's wrong with you? I thought you'd be happy.

I am, yeah.

I just need to think about it, that's all.

Sure. Think about it.

Spreadsheet porn is a thing.

I... They arouse me. I don't know what to say.

THEY CHUCKLE

Erm... One more glass? Yeah, let me.

No, I'll get this one. No. You got the bottle. It's fine.

OK. SHE GROANS

Are you OK?

Yeah, it's just, erm...

It's just this indigestion thing that I get.

Do you need me to...? Oh!

Shit! CUTLERY CLATTERS

What the fuck?!

You cannot behave like that in a meeting.

He gate-crashed!

He has the right to be there.

How did he even know which meeting I'd be in?

I don't know.

Shiv... For fuck's sake.

You might wanna give her some space.

Shiv! What the hell do you think you're doing?

I didn't know how else to reach you. Oh, my God.

Can you just let me explain?!

I was an asshole, OK?!

I was a complete and utter fucking asshole,

and I owe you an apology.

Kirsten and I broke up.

She kicked me out. Good!

She wants to take Stevie to Berlin.

And I'm not gonna let her do that,

cos she's, like...

she's, like, the best thing that's ever happened, and...

Isn't that right, Stevie?

And a kid needs her da, so...

It's just been a bit of a shitty time.

I could use an old friend.

CAR HORN HONKS

I have to go.

I'm sorry you're having a shit time, Jack.

But I can't help you.

We're not friends.

Hey! Ah, hi.

Are you OK? Yeah, yeah.

Who's that? No-one.

It's just, er, my ex.

Ah.

Can we go? Yeah.

Do you wanna take my number? Thanks.

I have your scans.

Is the...? The guy who brought me here, is he still outside, or...?

Didn't see anyone.

So, I've got some good news, and I have some bad news.

Well, don't tell me I'm dying, cos I'm on a timeline.

I know.

See here? Little cyst on your right ovary.

It's likely benign, but with the pain you've been experiencing,

it's just best we check it out.

A cyst? Yeah.

Very common in early pregnancy. Won't affect the baby.

Baby? What are you, 13, 14 weeks?

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

I know what they're like around here, fucking boys' club!

So, you're a bit dehydrated.

We're gonna keep you in overnight. Do some more bloods in the morning.

Get some rest. You're gonna to need it, Mama.

# How do we never see it coming?

# The game was up before I knew

# How do we never see it coming?

# Really all I saw was you

# I don't know what we're doing

# But I'm terrified to ask

# For fear that I might ruin it

# I wanna make it last

# The twin bed By the white ledge... #

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