All language subtitles for SAS Who Dares Wins S02E01 Mavericks

This programme contains
strong language from the outset.

Selection for the SAS
is a test like no other.

We're looking for people
that don't fit the mould...

..that are
willing to break the rules,

that have got a maverick element
about them.

To find that, it takes men to
a world far from our own.

In this series, an elite team of
ex-special forces soldiers

is putting 25 civilians through
the toughest stage of selection.

Jungle phase is selection.

If you can soldier in the jungle,
you can soldier anywhere.

Each task,
based on the real process.

You're fighting for a place on this
course.

Operating in the harshest
environment known to man...

Some of us are that close
to passing out.

..each recruit must go beyond the
physical...

How many chances do you want?

One more, staff.

..to come face to face
with their true character.

In my head, the demons are there,
always saying,

'Am I good enough to be here?'

This is where we find out,
do people run...

..or do people fight?

I just wanna see your heads.

HE SNIFFS

No other test asks as much...

HE CRIES

..or means as much...

..to the few who make it through.

When I was on a helicopter being
inserted into the jungle,

I could just see the vapour coming
off the canopy.

I could see just this vast amount of
canopy.

That's all you could see

and you feel like you're getting
swallowed up.

You feel like the jungle's gone,
"Right, you're mine now."

INSECTS CHIRP

It's like a train,
it just suddenly hits you,

you're just sweating profusely, it's
just pouring out of you.

You can just hear insects,
high-pitched screeches, howling,

which is quite eerie.

It's just a sensory overload.

25 men travel
deep into the Amazon rainforest.

They're taking part
in a unique version

of the jungle phase
of SAS selection.

This phase is all psychological.

It's designed to bring out

certain characteristics and certain
attributes

that you don't know exist within
yourself...

..but you will find out once you're
on selection.

For the next nine days,

the men will be cut off from the
outside world and will have no idea

what's coming next.

Right, everyone off the truck.

The course starts before
they reach camp.

Right, over to me, I want
a semicircle in front of me here.

The only way into the jungle
is by boat.

One at a time.

You're not designed
to conquer the jungle.

All you can predict
is that you've got two feet

and you can put one foot
in front of the other.

Some people can't adapt,
full stop...

..and if they can't adapt to it
there,

then how the hell are they gonna
adapt to it on the battlefield?

What's your name?
Geoff. OK, look up.

Look forward. Look down.
Stand by.

I grew up on the Arnold
Schwarzenegger films

and I thought he was my...
he was my role model.

I thought pretty much, "There isn't
anything you can't, like,

"deal with, um,
without the use of violence."

Go.

Go.

Next.

Go.

Right, I've got you,
stop shaking, stop shaking.

Simple command.

Just walk forward.

Just keep walking. Keep walking.

I was born in Nigeria and it was
never gonna be easy growing up

in a Third World country
without my mum or my dad.

You've got it, you've got this,
you've got this.

HE GROANS

'But it just put so much fire
in my belly

'and got me to where I am today.'

OK? Well done, Moses.

Good man.

Calm down. Oi. Calm down.

MOSES GRUNTS
Calm down.

You lot, get over here now.

Single file, follow me, let's go.

Chief instructor on the course is
Ant Middleton,

who was a sniper in the
special forces for four years.

Right, every man for himself,
get across here now.

Move it, move it, every man for
himself, let's fucking go.

Going on selection,
there wasn't points

where I thought
my body would let me down,

but there were points where I
thought my mind would let me down.

Close the gap, Moses,
get up his arse.

Get right up to him!

If you keep this focused, your body
can get you through so much.

Home for the recruits
is a military base

in the heart of
the Ecuadorian jungle.

Come here now.

Faster.

ORDERS ARE SHOUTED

All right, let me just get something

out of your head straightaway,
before I start.

This environment is brutal,
it's hostile, it's claustrophobic.

It'll chew you up
and spit you out.

This environment is enough
to break most of you.

If you fight it, it'll fuck you up.

Trust me.

Might sound like a bit of a cliche,
but be at one with the jungle.

If I have to babysit any of you,
we'll just fuck you off.

We want self-sufficient individuals
who can look after themselves, OK?

The medics aren't here
for your comfort.

Look after your own shit,
sort yourselves out.

You're ours for the next nine days.

Embrace it, gentlemen.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Number five.

Whenever you're asked to move
physically, move fast.

Working with Ant is a team of
directing staff or DS.

11.

Together, they'll decide if anyone

has the character
they're looking for.

23.

Being in the special forces,
we like to bend the rules,

we look for people that have got
a roguish,

misfit-ish-ness element to them,

that are willing to take chances and
get things done in different ways.

We're not the regular army.

First thing I want you to do is
strip.

Just take it all off and drop it
behind you in a pile.

If you've boxer shorts,
keep 'em on.

The team has more than 40 years'
experience in the special forces...

Ensure the zips are done up,

everything that's dangling is
un-dangling, tie it away.

..and includes a former instructor
on the jungle phase of selection.

If you wanna feel what it's gonna be
like to be in the jungle,

put a house on your back,
go into the sauna,

walk up and down the steps
constantly in the sauna

and get somebody to smash you in the
face with a load of sticks.

Go and find your beds.

To get this far, all of the recruits
have passed rigorous physical

and psychological testing.

Stay on top of this shit,

cos things will be in here tonight
living with you if you don't.

This is gonna be a long fucking
nine days!

It is gonna be tough. Do you know

when we were crawling through
that mud?

I kept getting cuts on me hands
and there were spiders

when I were doing press ups,
I thought, "Oh, fucking hell."

I love discipline. It's like, it's
fixated in me, I love to have,

you know, someone shouting
and telling me what to do,

cos that's the structure I've
been brought up with.

Put this round your waist.

Recruit five, Keith,

is on the course with his younger
brother, Jake.

Growing up I was in trouble a lot,
fighting...

..and then my brother, kind of like,
stepped in and took the role of,

like, a father figure towards me.

Right, feed that through there,
look.

Yeah, he's had a massive impact on
my life.

It's fucking hot, man.

As darkness falls,

the DS take the recruits for
their first night-time thrashing.

Push 'em up in front of you,
don't wait.

It's important to understand the
jungle at night.

Move.

'There's still quite a bit of
hostage taking,'

where people are taken
into the jungle.

Get moving!

You might have a deadline
of eight hours' time,

the hostage is gonna be killed...

Get round 'em! Get round 'em!

'..so you can't sit and wait for
eight hours

'of darkness and then hope that'

they're not gonna do it, because of
course they're gonna do it.

Get up 'em, get on his arse, close
that gap.

Close that gap.

The DS have cut a one-mile circuit
through the jungle...

Come on! Move!

..up to a 30-foot ridgeline
and back again.

Let's go, come on! Come on,
get 'em up, get around there.

Let's go! What number are you? 22.

Get past them. They're fucking
flowering, get past them.

Recruit 22, Geoff, is at the
back of the pack.

You better not be last when I get
down!

Fuck's sake.

I was a real late developer.

All my other friends were getting
hairy armpits

and growing up massive and I was
just, like, still tiny.

Don't move, wait until I say.

'There isn't much I wouldn't do for
a kind of dare,

'to get other people's attention.'

So, you know, I became a bit,
I think, wild.

Go!

Let's go, get your
hands down, get out that water!

KEITH GROANS

I can't get my breath.

After three circuits, recruit five,
Keith, is struggling to breathe.

All right, listen in. This is gonna
be a long night.

Some of you're making it difficult
for the others,

you know who you are
and we know who you are as well.

So, I would suggest that anybody

that wants to voluntarily withdraw
themselves from the course...

..take their armband off and leave.

Follow me.

Quickly, single file behind him,

get right on his shoulder and do
not lose that gap.

I've gotta stop, I can't breathe,
I can't get my breathing.

What's wrong? You wanna VW. Yeah, I
can't control my breathing in here.

It's too hard for me. OK, where's
your... Where's your band?

I lost it down there.

Where's the medic? I don't
understand why I'm struggling.

I'm normally... It's hard. It's
hard, that's why you're struggling.

TEARFULLY: I've trained so fucking
hard, man!

Don't get mad now, come on.

KEITH PANTS RAPIDLY

Slow your breathing down.

You're fine. It's just the heat.

I panic too much in the heat.

It's my responsibility.

You don't...you don't have to
justify yourself to me.

Keith's panic attack means he's the
first to withdraw from the course,

after just 14 hours.

When you're exposed to the jungle,

when it's fully
taken control of you,

that's when it's becomes petrifying.

That's when you think, "Holy shit,
what the fuck is going on?"

DOG BARKS

This should be fun.

Each recruit has been asked to write
a short essay about their lives.

"After coming out of prison,

" found myself in a stolen car ready
to commit another offence."

For the DS, it's a way of
identifying those

with chequered pasts.

We've all got a rebellious streak
in us.

You want a rounded character...

..that has got a maverick element
about them.

Two in particular stand out -
number 22, Geoff...

Number nine.

..and number nine, Moses.

"I was released from prison after
serving a four-year sentence.

"At the time, I felt this was a good
enough reason

"to go back to the street life."

I left home 16, 17.

As soon as I finished school
I got a job in Woolworths...

..um, and it was just bang out
of nowhere,

that's when the recession hit,
lost my job.

That's when I made obviously the
wrong decisions, looking back now.

You know, I went to the streets,
was selling drugs and, you know,

doing robberies.

"My life-defining moment was being
deported from Australia.

"After a petty altercation I was
arrested.

"I was addicted to drugs and unable
to return to the UK."

I didn't have any affiliation,
my family were middle class,

quite hard-working people,
sister's really smart,

did well in school
and all that kind of stuff.

I just didn't have anything
in common with them whatsoever.

When I went to prison for the first
time when I was about 17, it was

so scary.
Six months I had to spend there

and I was by far and away
the smallest, poshest kid there.

That kind of cemented in my mind
that I was gonna be a lifelong, er,

career criminal.

"I'm building towards running my
own business

"and my goal is to put my daughter
through university

"when the time comes."

I'm just concerned that...
that he's very temperamental.

In the special forces world

there's a lot of people that are on
that edge.

You can take a step to the left or
to the right

and you can be hand-grenaded
or you can be a very handy tool.

People like that are probably
the best people in the combat zones,

because they've got that drive,
they've got that passion,

but you step over that line then you
become unworkable

and no-one wants to be around you.

I would say I teeter on that edge,
definitely.

Over the next 24 hours,

the DS will increase the pressure
on both recruits,

to see if their behaviour
is under control.

When we identify these faults
in people...

..we're digging
into their character.

The moment we recognise something,
we'll be on you.

That's fucked,
I need to go see a thingy.

Is that black? Nah, that's a hole.

A verruca?

Let's have a look.

It's like I've been shot in my foot

It's the jungle phase
of SAS selection,

and the DS are focusing on two
recruits

they think will struggle to keep
control under pressure.

22, where's 22?

What's the problem?

Nothing.

Throughout selection, recruits are

routinely taken for
tactical questioning...

Right, put your hands
against the wall.

..without explanation or warning.

'We go beyond the surface,
we go deep into your core.'

We don't let up. You know,
we're horrible fuckers sometimes.

'I need to find out
how he's going to react....

..because the next time it ain't
going to be me who can control it,

it's going to be somebody who's
probably going to try and hurt or
kill him.

Something quite unsettling about
you, I can't quite
put my finger on it.

You seem like quite an
unpredictable character.

Sort of loose cannon.

I dunno, there's something about you
that - the switch in you,

that boom, if it goes then you
can't control it.

I know a loose cannon
when I see one.

Were you a bit of a boyo?

No. It was criminal. So it was
criminal what, to gain money?

Yeah. Drugs?

Everything.
So you were supplying drugs?

Yeah. Do you have a
fucking conscience?

No, I didn't, I didn't give a shit.
Do you have a coconut in your

fucking stupid mind how many
families' lives you've fucked up?

Er, yeah, no, er, yeah.

I used to have a different
life to what I have now.

So, when did your life change, then?

When did you become
this amazing person?

I'm not an amazing person.
Don't fucking laugh at me,

I'm asking a serious question. When
did you become this amazing person?

Last two years.

Two years ago? How old are you?

37. 37? So it took you 35 years of
being a scumbag to become a decent

person? Don't fucking laugh, cos
you don't give a fuck, do you?

Do you?

You've got a daughter?
Yep. How old's your daughter?

13.

Does she do drugs?
So you left your daughter?

You left your daughter?
I asked you a question.

Yeah, I know you asked me a
question, stupid fucking question.

Is it really?
Listen, listen, listen.

Carry on talking, you want to make
this fucking personal. Listen.

Listen. Relax.

Relax yourself. Relax yourself.

Why do you think we're
pushing your buttons?

Calm it down. Tone it down, OK,

cos we've just pushed exactly the
right buttons that we need to push,

all right? Calm it down.

So, if you were caught in a
situation like this right now
and you were in a

hostile environment like this and
you acted like the way you

just acted, do you know what
would happen to you?

Yeah, I do. You'd get a bullet in
the back of your head.

Guard!

I was like that, mate.
One minute I was really nice,

next minute I'd fucking flip out.

That's beyond the call of duty.

It feels so sore there,
though - fucking stinging.

This cream is not
just for feet, is it?

Yeah. Just for feet?

Yeah. I've just put
it all round there.

You fucking idiot.

It's 24 hours into the course.

That is not enough
food for a grown man.

Imagine a fry up.

Two more recruits left overnight...

..and now the remaining
22 are struggling.

All the lads say I look really red
and really drowsy, but...

How are you feeling? I feel all
right, just got a bit of a headache.

Yeah, you'll be fine.
That's disgusting, it's lumpy.

Yeah, these are quite small, mate.

I got my foot, I got an eye
infection and on top of that my
trousers

ripped and I still ran through the
whole thing with the mud
going through to my balls.

'If someone's constantly moaning or
whining, you know, it's just, like,

'a domino effect,
recruit to recruit,'

and it just snowballs.

My thumbs are fucked.

I've got a rash
and all sorts of shit.

I couldn't run. That mud crawling,
that was nearly the end of me, mate,

I'm not going to lie. That's not for
me, do you known what I mean?

So apart from that, everyone's
all right, though, yeah?

44-year-old Efrem is one of the
oldest recruits on the course.

Because of my seniority,

I would hope that I can bring
something a little bit different

to the group and maybe, you know,

benefit other people and try and
help them look at things a slightly

different sort of way.

Right, just cos I said that
this place is pretty brutal,

doesn't mean every six seconds that
someone breaks into a sweat

you decide that he's going to die on
you and send him over to the medic.

This place is quite hard,

but also you're supposed
to be here to be hard -

do you understand what I'm saying?

Staff. Cos we're all starting to
get a bit pissed off with hearing,

"Staff," and there's fuck all wrong.

Yes, Staff. OK.

Wait outside your accommodation.

Before their next task,
Ant carries out a dorm inspection.

I want you in single file.

Do not touch anything. I want you
to have a little look round...

..and I want you to tell me
who's let you down.

Do not touch anything.

Keep the noise down. Tell me
the one bed that stands out.

You'll be able to
spot it a mile off.

And just all of you now,
just point where you think

the bed that's let you down.
Correct.

All of the recruits
have identified the same bed...

You've got two minutes
to be on the parade square.

..belonging to Geoff.

All right, fellas,
has anybody seen my belt?

That's what I'm looking for this
morning - has anybody seen a belt?

There's a spare one here.
Spare belt, yeah?

One minute. Yes, come on,
come on, come on. Let's go.

Ant's going to make
an example of Geoff...

Form a circle around me.

..by punishing everyone except him.

Number 22, come and lie down, relax.

Relax, chill. Lie down.

Lie down. Fuck it,
you're pissing me off now.

Go on, then, go. Fucking prick.

Mate, don't walk too far.

Geoff, come on, man.
Fuck him. Right, fellas, off you go.

By handing in his armband...

..Geoff becomes the fourth recruit
to leave the course.

Listen, if you saw what I put up
with last night, I'm over this shit.

You're the better man, mate. Yeah,
I... Just, you're a better man.

They're doing it on purpose. But
they told me they were doing it on

purpose last night. All right,
fucking take a step back,

you've fucked with me now,
but it's doing my nut.

The fact you've binned that in

and saved us that ragging
means a lot to me

and I know all the rest of
the boys are like it.

That's the mark of you.

Don't let... Oi, don't let it
get to you, mate.

You're going home and everything's
going to be cool, yeah?

Don't let it get to you.

Listen, just don't, don't...
Appreciate that, thank you.

Come in, relax...

..take a seat, chill.

I apologise for that. It's fine.

Listen, sit down, sit down,
sit down.

Listen, you've got so much
potential, massive potential,

but you're a fucking hand grenade,
you're fucking so unpredictable,

you're so unreliable
in that way.

What frustrates me is you've turned
your fucking life around,

but you can turn it right back
upside down

in the flick of a switch.

Your daughter,
you love your daughter.

Well, she won't be fucking no good
to you

when you're in the fucking nick,

when you're...
Listen, I done exactly the same.

Exactly the same. I'm fucking,
a family man, I love my wife,

I love my kids, yeah?

And I've done something stupid and

I'm lucky I got a little sentence
for it,

cos otherwise, anything longer
and my whole life

would've been turned upside down.

And that's what I was... I wanted
to keep you here to try and get that

out of you. It's immaturity,
what it all boils down to.

It's weakness,
you know as well as I do,

and I thought if I could get through
this and you lot could give me as

much shit as you
do, I thought, you know,

I might just be able to trust
myself, but I don't.

That's what this was, and yeah,
kind of saw it coming, but

I'm a work in progress.

Listen Geoff, all the best for the
future, buddy.

Appreciate it, thank you very much.
All right? Ta.

I've been arrested
a couple of times.

It's the done thing to drink
heavily, to fight.

It's all part of
that military culture.

I ended up losing...

Losing my, er...

..my anger, shall we say?
Losing my temper and, er,

and, er, yeah, and assaulting a
police officer, which...

..which ended up me with a
14-month sentence.

I was looking at all the other
prisoners and thinking to myself,

"How did I get here?"

You know, "I was tier-one
special forces operator

"and now I'm stood
and I'm a number."

I was ashamed.

I wasn't providing for my family,
I wasn't earning money,

I wasn't putting a
roof over their head.

If anything, I was a burden.

That was a massive
turning point in my life.

I remember sitting on the back
of a helicopter

and then the sky erupting.

There was heavy machinegun fire,

tracer fire,
rocket-propelled grenades,

there was airburst RPGs going off
next to the helicopters,

the helicopters were getting hit.

Quick, quick, move.

You think about the fact that you
could die, get blown up,

lose legs, lose arms.

Acknowledge that you're feeling like
that, but do not let it
overcome you.

That becomes, like, fear,
the contagion of fear.

Fucks you up,
then you won't get your job done.

For the next phase of the course,

the DS are testing a key skill
of special forces operations.

Heli-abseiling and fast-roping

is probably the main insertion
method in the special forces,

specially in
the hostage rescue scenario.

It throws the enemy off, cos
you're attacking from all angles.

Right, you lot get in your lines.

Let's move it, let's go.

All right, they're yours, take that,

go to the middle where
the chief instructor is.

The DS selects four recruits who
they want to put under pressure

by abseiling 90 feet
out of a helicopter.

Number 18, Mark,

17, Gary,

11, Efrem,

and number 9, Moses.

When I finally got arrested

and, you know,

I knew I was going to get found
guilty, I knew prison was coming -

it was inevitable. I knew it was
coming, it was a matter of time.

Moses was singled out earlier by
the DS for his criminal background.

They want to see if he can control
himself under stress.

'I gave myself
all the worst situations.

'I'm going to get stabbed,
I'm going to get beaten up,

I'm going to get this,
but you know what,

I kind of played it out in my head
already,

so it was like...nothing scared me.
I was not worried about nothing,

I was just ready for it. And then
before I knew it, you know,

two years had gone by
and I came out.

Lean back, lean back.

Right, stop panicking.
Right hand on there.

Right hand there.

This hand on there. This hand!

When you first do it,
you think about,

"If this bit of rope gives way

"or this karabiner isn't screwed
on correctly

"or if I haven't locked off
correctly and I'm hanging there
with no hands,"

you know, "what could happen
if something went wrong?"

Move this hand here,
move this hand here!

Fucking do as you're told!
Yes, sir.

But when you go on to missions,
all that goes out the window.

Your own personal safety goes out
the window,

cos you're worried about your
pals and you're worried about

the mission itself and you sort of
forget that you're dangling off

the helicopter by a piece of string.

Go!

Go.

Last up is recruit number 11,
Efrem.

I think fear can cloud the mind,

as making you make irrational
decisions,

but whatever happens
in the next two weeks,

I've been through a hell of a lot
worse, as simple as that.

Go.

That was sick. That was sick.

Number 9, he was the one that was
scared the most earlier on.

I saw a foot. I saw... He had to
keep going back in, back out.

They all done well, mate,
considering it's their first time
ever.

Right, well, I've got a little bit
of a drama. I've found a combi tool.

Oh, well.
All good things come to an end.

I know, exactly!

One of the recruits has dropped
a combination tool.

Who's missing the combi tool?

Who's missing that?

You've given away so much
just by that.

Right, get on your bellies, crawl
round the DS and back to me.

Ant punishes the whole group.

Arses down!

The temperature is 35 degrees,
humidity 95%.

I'm done mate, fuck that.
I'm done now.

And it proves too much for some.

Are you VWing? Yeah, VW.
Go off and see the medic.

Number 4, Jake, whose brother
quit on day one,

and number 3, Miguel,
both voluntarily withdraw.

Right. You will waddle around the DS
and back to me.

Let's go. You know what it is.

Don't put your hands on your knees.

That's it. Look at number 16.

What you doing? Get down!

I'm going, Staff. You want to VW?
Yes, please, Staff. Are you sure?

Quick to follow Jake and Miguel is
number 23, Alex.

It's just about getting round
each other, isn't it?

That's all you had to do.
Mm-hmm.

Well, you'll fucking regret it.

The group's getting smaller
and smaller by the minute.

Does anyone else want to give me
their number?

ALL: No, Staff!

Are you sure? Yes, Staff!

THUNDERCLAP

Yesterday,
25 men entered the jungle.

Today, just 18 remain.

One metre behind me, gentlemen.

That's three of 'em gone?
Three of 'em gone. Three?

What, has Miguel gone?

Yeah. Shut up "Miguel's gone"!

Pulled out, man. No!

'That constant negativity
will poison a whole team.'

It's contagious,
and it drags the troop down,

it'll drag the mission down
and be a matter of life or death.

I'm broken. No, you're fucking not.
Don't say that shit again, man.

What? Saying he's broken and shit.
Fuck that, man.

The jungle has a great tendency to
eliminate negative people by itself.

Us, as a DS, we don't really have
to do that at the beginning.

Just quickly sit down at the ends of
your beds, fellas.

These people that have gone have
done exactly what I said not to do.

They've fought against the elements
and they found excuses to get out.

OK? A couple of you are
embracing it and you're actually
doing very well,

but from their weakness
you guys should be gaining strength,

so keep it going
and just work as a team,

get your shit squared away,
and don't give us an excuse
to thrash you.

ALL: Staff.

This is honking.

It's delightful to get your socks
off, I tell you.

'I thought I was going to have the
classic anger with number... 9. 9.

'It's, er, Moses.'

Do you know what, he's gaining
strength as this course goes along.

He's actually quite a calm lad.

He still has to have
his drug-dealing front.

Even though he isn't doing it,
there's still a front.

Hands behind your back.

You been scared before?

Was in 2012 - I got a four-year
sentence for a bank robbery.

I was shitting myself, but I did it.

Bank robbery? Armed?

There was no weapons involved.
It's a cash-in-transit robbery.

A guy's carrying money to the bank
and we go about our business.

What, just batter them?
No, there's no violence needed.

It's just a snatch and grab.

What was your job?

I was, er, the driver,

so I was never...

been... So you never...?
You weren't violent?

It's not my... It's not my thing.

And then what you done since?

At some point within that first six
weeks when I got released

I hit a crossroad and there was
a thing where I was alive,

I had to go and commit
another offence

or start begging for money and,
fortunate for me, you know,

I woke up, for no reason.

I was on my way to another robbery
when I woke up.

You...you were midway to another
robbery? Yeah.

And then you decided to can it?
Yeah.

What did you say to the other guys?

"I'm done." You know,
common sense starts kicking in,

you're just thinking, "Wait, no."

What do you do now?
Now I'm a personal trainer,

but I focus my personal training
on ex-offenders.

Being on the roads,
we work all night.

Drugs are sold at night.

That work, effort, energy,
I've still got that same mentality.

I've... When I'm selling my personal
training it's like

I'm selling drugs. I'm on it.

Guard!

'The special forces community's
made up of a massively mixed array
of people.

'Oxbridge graduates,
people from the streets.

'There's people out there
that could be amazing
special forces operators,'

but unfortunately the path
they take in life puts 'em

in a completely different
environment.

I'm going to have to take some time
to let that sink in.

Trying to work that fucker out. Mm.

'There's people that have had
hard lives,

'and that makes them resilient
and adaptable.

'It could be something that helps
them on the battlefield,

'but we need to know we can trust
them.'

How's your bollocks?

Actually, they're probably in a
better state than the rest of my
body.

Yeah, that's true. They're
shrivelled up a bit, but they're all
right.

Shrivelled up and disappeared.

The first phase of the course in
nearly over.

Just do it day by day, innit?

Hour by hour mate.
Press up by press up.

Seven recruits have already left.

I think that's what you've gotta
remember when you've...when you're
here, what you're here for.

(Yeah.)

Recruit 11, Efrem,
has come to the attention of the DS
following his heli-abseil.

Number 11, the old boy.

They have questions about why he's
on the course.

Lots of different things have
happened in the last couple of
years,

which has changed my emphasis on all
sorts of different things, really.

Ain't that weird?

My intention is to give myself
something a bit more positive to
focus on.

Strange. When I looked at him I
thought he looked old, but I
thought,

"There's something there. Has he got
an alcohol problem or something like
that?"

Number 11!
Eh?

Number 11.
Number 11, did he say?

We're looking at people to see
whether they're a good misfit or a
bad misfit.

There's people that don't fit the
mould to a certain degree, you know,

their age, their life, their
background...

..and that does actually make us
wonder what it is that's pushing
them on.

Number 11, you look fragile.

I think you're ready to quit, aren't
ya?

No, staff.

I don't feel like quitting this
course.

I'm not going to be naive enough to
say that I'm going to keep going
forever,

I'm a man of older years, but I'll
keep chipping away.

So what the fuck has brought someone
of your age on this course?

Why aren't you at home chilling out?
It felt like the right thing to do.

My grandparents were in the second
world war, various other people
have,

in my family, have served in the
army and the RAF as well as my son.

What regiment's your son in?
He was in the, er, intelligence
corps.

Was?

Yeah, he was killed in Afghanistan
in October, 2013.

Fucking hell.

Do you mind if I ask you how?

He'd been out there once previously
and on his second tour they're in a

handover operation, er,

came under fire at the end of the
operation and unfortunately he was
shot

and killed. It was slightly more
complicated by the fact he was
actually

killed by another British soldier,

which has made it more difficult for
us, obviously.

Oh, was it a blue on blue?

Really hard to swallow. Yeah, sure.

That's, I know that, that is a bit
harder, a bitter pill to swallow.

I've been involved in

blue on blues as well and, and, you
know, boy.

There's nothing you can say, is
there? No, there's nothing you can
say. You know,

those sort of situations are just...
Yeah. ..almost unexplainable.

People try and look into them,
but ultimately it doesn't really
change the outcome.

No. Nothing will change the outcome.

Did you do this because you wanted
to feel what your son has been
through?

I think there's an element of that.

"If James hadn't been killed, would
you be here?"

and probably, the answer is probably
no.

I mean, there is a connection, it's,
it's, from the simplest things,

you give us kit, I pick the socks
up, they're exactly the same socks,

you give us the map book it's the
same map book,

so it's been more personal than I
thought it would be,

and, and for me that's a good thing.

Fucking hell, you've got some
fucking balls to come on this
course,

I tell you that. Wow, to pick
yourself up and...but do you know
what,

you just keep doing

what you're doing. If you were my
dad and you were doing this at your
age,

I'd be cheering you on.

I don't, I don't want to be seeing
that armband.

Guard!

I think it must've been hard for my
mum,

especially when my brother joined
the marines and then I joined the

special forces and then we were
pretty much...we used to always go
away

at the same time.

Fucking hell, man.

I never really acknowledged it until
I left,

and then my brother still went away,
I suddenly was, like,

a bit worried for him and I was
like, "Shit, hang on,

"imagine what this was like times
two for my mum."

It must've been horrific.

James wasn't just my son,
he was probably one of my...the
best friends I had, er,

and will ever have.

Sometimes it just gets you.

It's like someone puts their hand
through your ribs and actually
squeezes

your heart so hard and you can't
breathe and you can't see and you
can't

really focus on anything round you.
You all right, mate?

Yeah, fine.

When you send somebody off, who's
fit, strong, young and able,

and one day they don't come back,

it's very difficult to get your
brain to accept that, um, and it
just,

it changes everything, really.

Fight!

'The most dangerous form of
aggression is driven by fear.'

Stop!

Number ten was definitely out
of control.

This will continue until the weak
ones amongst you give me your
numbers.

I just can't run.
What do you want to do?
Take a breath.

Hang on, let me think about this.

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