Original subtitles

Bring that fucking beat back.

Bring that motherfucking beat back--

not some of it, not part of it.

Bring the whole thing fucking back.

Uh!

All right, all right, all right.

Stop. See that kid there getting beaten to death

by a bunch of angry punks?

That happens to be my son Ross,

and I can't fucking help him.

You want to know why?

Because I'm dead. Guess what else is dead.

WoWhat hunters are you talking about?

Let's talk about my spawn Ross.

He was brought into this world without a father,

so he was raised in this steampunk shop

by this totally eccentric woman Trish.

See, I fell really hard for this girl.

She was really smart. She was beautiful.

She was like a goddess.

Everyone looked up to her, and I had the honor

of being her soulmate till I went and fucked it up by dying.

Dearly Departed. How can I help you?

So Trish and I got busy,

and sometime before I died, my seed found purchase,

and Trish got knocked up, which really sucked for her

because she had to raise this kid all on her own

and did a really amazing job bringing up

this dark, little, spooky, little shit.

You know we're here with your dad.

Did you know that, Ross?

Where is he?

He's right there.

I don't see him.

So, yeah, she took on the job,

but, dude, it was hard on her because she didn't fit in

anywhere except for her shop, where she was totally surrounded

by all her weird stuff,

like her Mormon assistant here-- emo Shelly,

who is totally obsessed with my boy,

which brings me back to Ross, the problem--

Ross is predisposed towards death because of me.

He is a death punker, a goth, a this, a that.

There are no labels for Ross.

He's simply fucking complicated...

But suppose everything's already dead.

and he knows stuff, adult stuff,

or at least he thinks he does.

He doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke.

He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't have sex.

He was so fucking straight-edge,

he didn't even hang out with the straight-edge guys.

Dude, dude, dude, Ross didn't do anything until now,

so now, hours before he was getting his ass kicked

at a punk show, Ross was drunk in a car with his friend Crash.

Now, Crash, well, Crash is the kind of guy

that doesn't judge anybody, anybody, unless they judge him,

which was a good thing for my son

because when they met in high school,

he became Ross' only real friend.

Anybody else steered real clear of my spooky, little boy.

Even this outsider, punk girl Penny stayed away from him

until this day.

See, Penny was one of the guys, and she was really into cars.

In fact, she'd been working on this big Cadillac

since she found it when she was 12 years old

in her granddad's back yard.

So you're saying I look like a dude?

Yes.

Anyway, Ross.

Ogden? What's he doing in Ogden?

No.

No. No.

Sorry. That's not Ross.

Look. Because my son doesn't drink.

Well, maybe it was your son.

Where did they go?

What?

Do you hear yourself?

I mean, you are literally

the thickest person I have ever talked to.

What's going on?

Well, that was Crash's mom.

She said that Ross showed up at her house

crying and drunk.

Ross doesn't drink.

So the reason this whole situation is such a problem,

I was a bit of a drinker.

My dad was a drinker. His dad was a drinker.

It was in our fucking blood,

and it didn't turn out well for any of us.

When Ross' mom gets a call saying Ross is drinking

when he doesn't drink,

Ross is crying when he doesn't cry,

I mean, dude, that's how I fucking went out.

Something must have happened.

Oh, and by the way,

my name's Bob, and 19 years ago,

this is where I totally fucking died.

What happened to you?

Some girl.

Of course.

What'd she do, steal his eyeliner?

Is, um-- is there any more beer?

No. I'm serious, Penny. You're gender-challenged.

What? I don't even know what that means, Crash.

Oh, you know.

It's like when your iffy in the sex category.

Ross, what do you think?

Um, is there-- is there any more beer?

No, Ross. There's no more beer.

Shall we? Shall we what?

Shall we to the convenience store?

Tell ya, man, I'm stuck on this lovely girl

Of course, to me, she mean all t' world

But then she like another guy

I fall down dead, she never see the tears I cry

You can keep the change.

Hey, you got I.D.?

Yeah.

Please, please, please do not go

Please, please, please do not go

So what, you have a fake I.D.?

No.

No. I have a real I.D.

So what, you just bought this beer

without showing any I.D.?

And why would I show any I.D.?

Because you have to be 21 to buy beer,

creepy boy.

I did not know that.

Oh, whoa, whoa

And I know I cannot tell a lie

Oh, whoa, whoa

I want to see him go bye

Bye Good-bye

So what actually happened to my poor boy

to make him become so melancholy

on such a fine spring day?

Actually, he was kind of always a gloomy dude.

OK, but you're gonna change your mind on that

once you get your heart broken.

Childish thought.

Really?

Mom, I'm not like the rest

of the teeming masses.

I have perspective, OK?

There will be no retching over matters

of the heart for me.

Aren't you always talking about

the beauty of death?

Isn't there passion in that?

No. No. Observation.

Mom, death is beautiful

because it is our only real future.

It will be the only great thing

any of us ever do.

Life is a rehearsal. That's all it is.

I mean, what-- what is the point

of fighting for political ideals,

for religion, for love?

These things have nothing to do

with our true destination,

you understand?

I mean, just like Dad, what was his life for

other than to die?

OK, but when he was alive,

he was something to behold.

I have no doubt,

and he died like a hero.

Ross, he accidentally overdosed on Percodan.

He thought they were vitamins, not very heroic.

But classic,

definitely a death to remember.

OK, but don't come crying to me when you get stung.

Won't happen,

but, all that said,

I love you, Mom.

You sure? You don't have to.

Mother.

Hi, Shelly. Hi, Ross.

So that bullshit, pseudo philosophy of his

lasted right up until he met-- can you believe it?--

uh, Lilith.

I don't know what he saw in her, but pick your poison.

Near our rito

Peep peep oh

Bit animal

Peep oh

Hello. I'm Ross.

So I've heard.

With the part animal

Peep peep

If I may, I would love to call on you this evening.

I don't mind.

Bit animal

Peep oh

He didn't deal, little rito

With the part animal

Peep peep

And so young Rothschild

fell into the clutches of romance,

believing completely in the virtues of his young maiden

as if she was the Virgin Mother herself.

They strolled. They picnicked.

They texteth each other.

They gave gifts, glances, and all that kind of crap.

Ross... Yes?

I worship you.

Worship? I see.

In this short time,

I can't imagine my life without you.

Oh, come now.

This--this arrangement

is for our pleasure, but we are born alone,

and when we die, we will die alone.

Oh, say what you want. I love you.

Love is a lie to enslave us,

to help us believe there is meaning to life.

I know who I am,

but I like being with you now.

Ross is about to eat every single word

he said to little Miss Ophelia.

Haunted by your hair

Haunted by your clothes

Mm...

Haunted by your eyes

Mm...

By your soul, by your hair

By your clothes, by your eyes

By your voice, by your smile

By your mouth, by your soul

By your hair, by your clothes

By your eyes, by your voice

By your smile, by your mouth

By your soul, haunted

Haunted

Uh...listen.

I want to say something. Does life mean anything?

No. It's meaningless.

It's--it's--it's

as useless as nipples on men,

but then something happens.

Out of nowhere, seemingly...

some woman reaches into your chest

and pulls out your heart

and pours salt all over your exposed intestines,

rubs the blood and the guts

all over her body, and laughs

at your mangled corpse, and that, my friends,

when you feel that pain, that is when you know

there's must be a God.

You call Him whatever you want.

There is a God, and He has a plan,

and that plan has nothing to do with us.

That plan is to laugh at us,

laugh in our face.

Frailty, thy name is woman.

OK, buddy.

Think you need some more medicine.

There you go.

So where are we going?

To the concert. Oh, right.

Punk concert,

the writhing stench of humanity

and that dancing thing you punks do.

Uh, yeah. It's called fun, man.

You'll like it. Will I?

You know, my father was a punk.

Yeah. No shit. Everyone knows that story.

No. I'd like to be up there.

Where? The mountains.

Hey, let's go the long way round to Salt Lake.

We'll be late. What is late?

We're--we--we are already late.

You are working in units of time.

Goddamn, Ross, you are a bizarre individual,

but I dig that about you.

Well, I mean, what would you guys care

about being late?

You're gonna be late to a punk show,

late for anarchy?

I thought you guys had no rules.

I thought you lived life and took risks

and fucked systems. OK.

OK. We will take the mountain pass, Frodo.

Get in. Come on.

If you wanna make a move

Then you better come in

It's just the ability to reason that wears so thin

Living and dying and the stories that are true

Secret to a good life's knowing when you're through

Black coat, white shoes, black hat, Cadillac

Yeah, the boy's a time bomb

Black coat, white shoes, black hat, Cadillac

Yeah, the boy's a time bomb

Well, he's back in the hole

Where they got him living like a rat

But he's smarter than that

9 lives like a cat

15 years old

Take him to the youth authority home

First thing you learn

You got to make it in this world alone

Black coat, white shoes, black hat, Cadillac

Yeah, the boy's a time bomb

I think maybe I'm overthinking this.

I mean, should I be worried?

I'm really worried, Trish.

I know, but people snap all the time.

Like, I had this cousin who was a full-blown Mormon, right?

He went on his mission. He got married.

He did the whole thing, and then one day, he just lost it.

He went to Las Vegas and gambled all his money,

and they found him in a hotel room

with hookers who had given him meth.

OK. Meth hookers.

Thank you, Shelly.

OK, and hookers are people who have sex for money...

I get it.

and meth is an illegal street drug.

You need to stop talking now.

You need to go upstairs to my bedroom

and get my address book.

Can you do that? Upstairs.

Just upstairs.

Got it. Upstairs. My room.

I'll check Ross' just to be sure.

Not Ross' room, my room.

You can never be sure. Oh...

We are 3 kings in honor

We are the midst of Dagda's spell

We are 3...

Thought you were dead.

No, man. No. Almost.

Ha ha!

I work for a state senator now.

Unfortunate.

No. I like politics.

Still a punk?

I still listen to music, go to a good show.

So, yes, you're still a slave to a musical genre.

It's interesting you should say that.

Really? Yeah.

You're like the fucking poster boy

for Norwegian black metal.

I wouldn't say that.

OK, OK. Let's stop here just for--for a minute, OK,

so I can explain to you these two jokers.

Right after I died,

most of my friends left Salt Lake City,

but these guys fucking stayed.

First, there's John.

Back in the day when I was alive,

John was a mod--

in fact, he was called John the Mod--

but then he met this Norwegian chick,

and he moved to, like, Norway, where he discovered black metal,

possibly the most hardcore music genre going on at the time.

See, these Norwegian kids, they were pissed off

at Christianity for coming

and fucking destroying their culture.

I mean, it happened, like, 10 billion years ago,

but, you know, we all need a cause, right?

So John, being Native American Mormon,

kind of connected with this,

so he changed his name to Johnny Jekyll,

buffed out, grew out his hair,

started wearing all this fucking makeup shit,

drinking out of things like this,

and then he opened a black metal shop

here in Salt Lake City.

Hey, uh, how much for these smoke bombs?

Uh, these--these-- these smoke bombs.

How much for the, uh--

These are the Black Cat smoke bombs,

come 3 to a pack.

How much?

The--the Black Cat smoke bombs,

these, how much?

It is illegal to sell smoke bombs without a proper license.

Well, no. It's--

Sean, I got this.

I--it's--I mean, there's a sign here

that says, "For sale."

This look like you wrote this.

No, it does not.

But I--I'm holding these in my--

They're Black Cat smoke bombs.

This is not some dream

from the inside of my brain head.

You are mistaken.

Are you fucking kidding me?

The--they're right here.

I just want to buy

some Black Cat Smoke Alarm smoke--

I will run you through with my blade.

OK. No smoke bombs, fucking asshole.

I'll go to the cops. I'm Dorgon.

You do that.

I'm Dorgon.

Dorgon.

John, John, John, John, you think it's a good idea

to threaten your customers with, you know, actual death?

Why do you think they come in here?

Well, you don't want to sell the fireworks,

why don't you just put them away?

Those are for people in the circle.

That guy-- not in the circle.

Holy fuck, John, you've really changed.

So then there's Sean.

Now, Sean back in the day used to sell acid,

but after an accident where he inadvertently ingested

over 112 hits of acid, he got so fucked up,

he started thinking that I was Jesus Christ,

and, by the way, I like to visit him sometimes

in flashbacks and freak him out.

So Sean ended up begging, but eventually,

he got himself off the streets and checked into a facility,

and after a few years, he got out

and even got a job working for a state senator,

but, you know, you can't really take the punk

out of a guy like Sean.

When I search you, what am I gonna find, huh?

Look at me. Needles?

Maybe. I don't know, man.

Crash?

Dude. Dude!

Sean, what's up, man?

What's up, man?

What's up, dude?

You look good. You look--

Oh, man, how's shit on the Hill, man?

Oh, you got all tatted up and everything.

That's crazy.

Sir... What?

I need you to step back now.

What? I'm arresting this man.

Arresting him? For what?

None of your damn business. Step back.

It's cool, man. I work--

I'm used to this, dude. It's cool.

No. Wait. Hold-- hold on a second, Crash.

I work--I work on the Hill, you see,

and I would like to know why you're arresting this man.

Because I can. What are you gonna do about it?

Oh, run.

What?

I'm not talking to you.

Run!

D'oh! Shit! Sh--

Oh, shit. Uh...

Oh, fuck.

What, you mace me? Who maces people?

Aah!

You want to mace me?

Uh!

Your bike's over here!

Ross, Chandler, Joey in a Punjabi death match.

Who takes it?

Ross, Chandler, Joey in a Punjabi death match.

That's a good question.

What's a Punjabi death match?

Basically, it's like a steel cage match,

but you use bamboo and stuff.

Yeah, but who wins?

Gunther.

Oh, come on. Gunther was a tool.

Oh, Gunther, if we he in that--

You know what that reminds me of?

"Smelly cat." "Smelly cat."

See, I loved--

It was a catchy tune, right?

It was great, so I'm gonna do

a death metal version.

Did you know they each got a million dollars?

There was some point where an assistant

ran into the room and told an executive,

"Each Friend wants a million dollars,

or they're not doing the show anymore."

An episode.

It's fucked up, right?

Not if Gunther is getting a million dollars.

Gunther didn't get a million dollars.

Then they shouldn't fucking get anything.

Hmm.

Hey, I'm just telling you what I think honestly, man.

Do you think Gunther could have his own spin-off show?

I think he should have his own spin-off show.

Sean?

Thank you.

Warrior Music. What do you want?

I haven't seen him.

I'll be right over.

How long has it been since you've seen Trish?

Trish?

3 years.

Well, she's got a problem.

Like what, she's a bitch?

Heh. No, like a parental problem.

Her son-- Ross.

You know Ross? Yeah.

Like a fucking uncle to him.

Me, too.

Dude, why you looking at me like that?

Like what?

Like you want to take that sword and stab me.

I don't want to stab you, Sean.

Dude, you got to learn how to just relax your face.

You've got asshole face.

I am relaxed.

Apartment ambience is like a motel

Little town blues can't compare to this hell

Do you ever want to go...

You happy now?

Are you gay? What?

I've--I've--I've wondered for some time now,

and Crash was questioning your gender deficits.

I'm straight-curious.

Straight-curious.

I'm really hungry. Are you guys hungry?

No. man. You're really drunk.

So this is what it's like to be drunk?

Take a sip.

Easy there, Churchill.

Ha ha ha!

That's not beer.

Dude, you drank half the fucking bottle.

That's not beer.

The air smells different out here at 3 A.M.

Oh, my God...

Push it out, man. Yeah.

I feel... Yeah!

Will fall apart inside your room

So please come on out and do something else

Just--Christ, what the fuck are you doing?

I was doing you a favor.

Oh, what favor?

I was just making you look like a girl.

Damn it. Stop. Ha ha!

What's your boy doing?

Uh! How do you like it, flowers?

Fucking die, flowers!

Fuck...you and you.

Fuck you. Uh!

How do you fucking like it, huh? Uh!

What'd those flowers ever do to you?

They're just fucking...

cruel.

[gasps] Ha!

Hey, Shelly.

Thank God you're here.

There is no God, Shelly.

John. Hi.

Hmm...so what do you think is going on?

Whatever it is, I don't think it's so bad.

I know, but it's just so unlike Ross.

Usually, you know, he's so responsible.

I mean, maybe he's a little dark,

but otherwise, he's perfect.

He's a great kid. I know.

By the way, do you remember Sean?

Hey. Hi. Wow.

I thought you were-- Dead?

Yeah. Yeah. I get that a lot.

Well, sorry.

I would normally be more polite.

I'm just really worried about my kid.

No. I understand.

If Ross is drinking, he's really drinking.

How do you know my son?

I met him 3 years ago down on State.

He was hanging out with some, uh,

not crusties, but, uh--

Skate punks? Not skate punks.

Gutter punks? Gutter punks.

Let me break in here and say

something about punk,

punk the, uh, music genre and, uh, movement.

See, now, way back 10,000 years ago

when the whole thing started, it was just punk,

but over the years, like religion,

the whole thing began to divide, so today it's hard to keep up

with all the different kinds of punk there is.

Let me just list a few of the subdivisions--

punk,

hardcore,

emocore, queercore,

skate punk, surf punk,

straight edge, crust punk, gutter punk, soccer punk,

steampunk, psychobilly, horror punk,

folk punk, ska punk, anarcho-punk, pop punk,

post-punk, proto-punk, oi,

trash punk, Nazi punk--fuck off--

cowpunk, 2 Tone, art punk, bandana thrash,

gypsy punk, Canadian hardcore-- ha ha!--

Celtic punk, Christian punk,

Krishnacore, glam punk,

Latino punk, street punk, geek punk, Greek punk,

and freak punk, just to name a few.

Lots to choose from.

Personally, I like it all.

Bam.

No. That's impossible.

Ross doesn't hang out in the streets.

Oh, he's with this kid named Crash.

Fucking Crash.

He is a gutter punk, isn't he?

No, no, no. He just liked to hang out down there.

Dude, you know what's crazy, man?

What's that?

One day, all the snow caps

on those beautiful mountains

are gonna be gone, dude...

Beautiful snowcaps.

and it's because we did it, man.

Like, we fucked it up.

We fucked up the planet we live on.

I suppose.

Well, how's Mama Trish doing, man?

She's well, thank you. She's doing well.

The shop's still open.

She'll appreciate you having asked about her.

I'll let her know.

She'd probably spaz if she found out

you were drinking, man.

You seen his mom's shop?

No. What is it? Whoa.

Tell her what's in the shop, brother.

It's a, um, fanciful novelty shop, I suppose.

Dude, it's sick.

They got, like, fucking two-headed cats,

like, stuffed animal-- like, not animals, but,

you know, like when they kill shit...

Taxidermy, Crash.

Yeah. Taxidermy.

It's fucking taxidermy.

I suppose growing up in an oddities shop

was, um-- was tremendous.

Mom was great.

When I was a boy,

Mom had a great business relationship

with a marvelous taxidermist,

so we always had a lot of pets around the house.

They were dead, but we had a swan--Edmund.

The swan was dead.

Well, yeah. It was stuffed...

Ha!

good listener, good company,

and then we had a, um, python

over the door frame.

Oh, fuck that. No way.

Cordelia. She was sweet. Mom got her.

Anyways, Ross wanted to know about his dad,

and so we talked, and after that,

he used to like to come by the office

and ask for advice, used to love

to hear stories about his old man, huh, John?

You work in an office?

I do work in an office, and it's awesome.

Hmm. Hey, this your shop?

Yeah. I fucking love it.

Thanks. I don't understand.

If Ross wanted to talk about his dad,

he could've just asked me.

Why is he going to you?

When's the last time you saw him?

Week ago.

He's been hooking up with this chick,

which is weird because he used to talk

a crazy story about not falling in love,

and now--pbbt.

Why am I hearing about this for the first time?

Yeah. I heard about this girl, too.

What?

He's too proud to tell you

about something like that.

So I'm the only one who doesn't know?

Ross has a girlfriend?

Shelly--fuck.

What do you think this little hussy did,

break his heart?

She dumped him.

Sound about right.

That little bitch. I'm gonna kill her.

I never loved that girl.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

You think I'm all screwed up because of some girl,

but it is so much bigger than that.

I have spent my whole life under control.

I think I've earned the right to have a little fun.

You know what I mean?

Damn straight, brother.

Tony Randall

Mary Tyler Moore

Molly Ringwald

Rerun shows

Robotic nation

False history spit out

Another picture of a...

How old is this car?

To bore me

Shit, man.

Damn it.

This is your fault, Crash.

My fault? Why? Ross wanted to come this way.

He's fucking confused.

I hold you responsible for him.

This is bullshit. It's your car. Uh!

Hey, asshole! What?

Don't touch my car, you fucking troll.

Fine. What's your problem, man?

I don't want you touching my car.

What is it with you

and your fucking car, anyway?

Any time someone touches it,

you turn into a seething bitch.

Not somebody, just you.

See, you always do this.

Crash, my car is fucked.

All I wanted to do is go to that show

and not play wet nurse to you

and your fucking faggot friend.

Look how it worked out for me.

You're really uptight, you know that?

Yeah. You're a fucking child.

You know how to fix this car?

Who's gonna pay for that, you asshole?

Dickhead. Fuck you!

Hey, fuck you.

I'll kick your ass, girl or not.

Any time, Stretch.

Hey, Crash?

Sorry I'm such a bitch.

Yeah. I know.

So what do we do about the car?

Oh, hey!

Try it now.

Ha!

Go on, man. Try it, man.

Ha! Yay!

Fuck, dude. Argh.

That's Brother Ross.

Fuck yeah.

And I know you been there, too, yourself

Ha! Whoo!

Why do we want...

It's all wrong.

He should've called by now.

What do you think?

I think he'll be OK.

He's got a good head on his shoulders.

So we're taking a break from straight edge, huh?

I'm not straight edge. I don't, um--

I don't run with any crowds, really.

Um--

God, you really don't know me, do you, Penny?

No. I don't, Ross. I mean, nobody knows you.

You just act like you're above all us punters.

Really?

Is--is that what you guys think of me?

Oh, well, I mean--

That's--that's awful. You think--

So I'm an arrogant person?

Ding, ding, ding.

Tell him what he's won, Crash.

I mean, fuck that, man. Ross is a cool fucker.

Don't listen to Penny.

No. You know what? I like the criticism.

It's good. I'm gonna stop being aloof.

Let's give that man a ride.

You want a ride?

Sure. Thank you.

Thank Lord Byron here.

Hello, Mr. Byron. I am William.

Hello, William. Actually, I'm Ross.

This young lady is Penny,

and this gentleman here is Crash.

Well, what are you doing up here?

Are you a mountaineer?

I am here to meet a man for a pickup.

Yeah? What'd you pick up?

Check this out, man.

Holy shit, bro.

Ha ha! That's a lot. That's a shit lot.

Fresh from the fields of Wyoming.

How'd you grow these dreads?

Wisdom.

Wisdom?

Just wisdom, man.

How you get them spikes in your hair?

Soap.

Just soap?

Yeah. Just put it in and let it dry.

Let me smell you.

Smell like soap.

Ha! That's right.

How you get your hair to be so pink?

Dye. Dye?

Yeah. Ha ha!

Smell like dye.

Ha ha ha!

Let me smell your hair.

Ha ha!

Doesn't smell like anything.

Ha ha ha! Wisdom nice.

Wisdom don't smell.

Oh, fantastic. I'm really hungry.

You don't mind, do you? Let's go.

Dude...

do you know what you just ate?

Oh--oh, my God.

It's just mushrooms.

You don't buy that kind at the grocery market, man.

Can he O.D.? Should we just do

something about this?

No. Him won't die,

but him will fly.

That is for sure.

But I feel totally normal.

What?

I mean, give it, like, 10 minutes.

You'll definitely notice something.

Just make him throw it up, you know?

Really?

Guys, you know what?

I really feel fine, OK?

And your perspective's your perspective,

and, like, if you had my perspective,

it wouldn't make any sense because I've got a perspective,

and you've got a perspective, and Penny's got a perspective,

and William has a-- certainly has

his own perspective. Wait, wait, wait.

So how can you see something

from my perspective if you don't know

what my perspective is--even is

because you have your own perspective?

I can fly!

People should sell this stuff.

You'd make a fortune.

I get to drink. a beer. Ha ha.

Why not?

See, Ross doesn't drink.

Oh, no. No!

He doesn't do any of that.

This is his first day.

Look. There's an elephant!

That's not letters, that's not letters.

Yeah. That's not letters. That's not lett--

Shit. It...

My finger's so much bigger than yours.

Can I drive? Can you teach me how to drive?

I feel funny.

We're all mammals.

We're fucking mammals.

It's like there's worms or something.

What the fuck do these things do?

I don't have any hair on my chest.

I feel like stuff's moving too much.

I need to go hold my breath.

Stop. Aw, fuck it, dude.

Do you remember-- do you remember

when you said that you're straight curious?

I--I'm curious.

What does that even mean?

I like you, Ross.

Yeah. I like you so much.

Your thing is

a different color from your hair.

I feel happy.

I don't think I made the Earth.

Hope you guys are having a great time.

I am!

When's Penny get some drugs, huh?

Travel first and lead towards this time

I'm a terrible mother.

No, you're not.

I am.

I don't even know who my own son is.

Look at me.

I'm a freak.

I go to the PTA meetings, and the other mothers,

they just--they just stare at me like I'm...

scum.

You can't change who you are.

Yes, I can.

I don't have to be a freak.

You're not a freak.

Thank you, Thor.

She's upset.

Of course I'm upset.

I thought I knew who my son was,

but Jesus on the fucking cross--

Jesus can keep the cross to himself.

John.

Shh.

I'm worried.

I'm worried, too.

Not Ross.

I'm worried about you.

What's that supposed to mean?

I knew that at some point this would happen.

What? What would happen?

You guys are completely useless.

You're just--

Ross is out there, suffering,

possibly even dying,

and you're just here laying

all this s-h-i-t on Trish!

Instead of standing around,

slandering the name of Heavenly Father,

why don't you go out and do something?

You adults are completely useless!

Give me the phone, give the phone!

Give me the fucking phone!

Dearly Departed.

Oh! Eddie, hi.

OK, OK. Let's, uh, stop for a second.

I think we need a smoke break.

In fact, I think all movies should have smoke breaks.

You know one of the best parts about being dead?

Nobody can tell you that smoking will kill you.

OK. We're back!

So this guy Eddie,

he used to hang out with us back in the day,

mostly because he didn't fit in with anyone else.

He was sort of one of these old-fashioned playboy types,

really good-looking,

the ladies loved him,

he loved the ladies.

So what does a guy like that do with such talents?

He sells it.

Burlesque club!

But this wasn't like one of these seedy clubs.

Nooo. This was hip.

It was even considered art,

like Lower Manhattan art.

He was the new Don Juan,

the Salt Lake City Hugh Hefner.

Guys, thank you so much for coming.

It's great to see you. Thank you so much. Please.

That's not how he made his money, though.

No. He took the whole thing, and he put it into space--

girlsofpunkburlesque.com!

But, you know, it wasn't like a porno site or anything.

It was more of a-- a tease kind of thing,

you know, fancy girls with flashy curls.

No. He hasn't called me either.

Trish, just stay ca--

just try and stay calm.

Where's he gonna go?

Listen. Listen. I'm practically there.

I'll come by and pick you up,

and we'll go look for him, OK?

Please. It's fine. I'm like his uncle.

I don't know why we're doing this.

Snap out of it, man.

We're in a fucking bowling alley, man!

You're all right. Come on. Shake it off.

Shake it off.

Try this gum. Try the gum.

Try the gum.

This gum tastes so good.

What the fuck are you doing, man?

Heh heh heh.

Ross.

Ross.

Hey, Ross!

Yeah. What? What?

Where are we?

We're at a gas station.

Dude, you definitely checked out.

Yeah. It's nice to have you back.

I don't understand.

Well, I mean, you haven't said a word

in, like, an hour.

You didn't even say bye to William.

Oh, no!

He's--I like that guy.

We were worried for a bit.

I'm--I'm good. I'm...

I'm very fine.

Hey!

Shit.

What's wrong?

Just everything.

Where the hell you been?

Who is that?

Hey, Dad.

I asked you a question.

Just crashing at a friend's.

Have you been drinking?

Have you?!

Slutting around with your faggot friends,

drinking and driving!

Yeah.

Gah! Unh!

Holy shit!

Sir, that's really not--

Mind your fucking business!

Hey. Um, Penny, I'm sorry about your da--

Hey. Um, pretty boy, when you produce

a living father, you can talk to me about mine,

so shut the fuck up!

What the?

Get off the car!

Get the fuck off my car!

Fuck you, Dad! I hate you!

Get down here now, you bitch!

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Goddamn it! What I'd tell you about getting up on my car?

I hate you, Dad! Fuck you!

Goddamn it! Get down here now, you little bitch!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Stop it! Stop it now!

I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you, Dad!

You little bitch, get the fuck down!

Get off my--

You'll be jerking yourself off

from now on, you fuck!

All the young dudes

Hey, dudes

Carry the news

Where are you?

Boogaloo dudes

Stand up

Carry the news

Ha ha ha!

All the young dudes

I want to hear you

Carry the news

I want to see you

Boogaloo dudes

And I want to relate to you

Carry the news

Are you OK?

Yeah. I'm perfect.

All the young dudes

What dudes?

Carry the news

Ross, um...

Yeah?

Carry the news

Well...

I'm really sorry about what I said back there.

I think I'm in love with you.

Fuck off, faggot.

Now you all his friends

All the young dudes

Now you bring him down

'Cause I want him

Carry the news

Come on, mama

Boogaloo dudes

I want him right here

Bring him, come on

You here? OK. Good.

Eddie's out front.

We're gonna look for Ross if you guys want to come.

Yeah, I want to go. I'm gonna go.

Figured.

Hey. Who--who's Eddie?

Um, you don't know him.

He's a good guy.

Goodish.

Behave.

You know, I--I might know where Ross is.

What?

I mean--I mean, I might know where he's going.

What?!

There's the stage.

Everybody's here.

Everybody's excited.

All we need now is a band!

My right to say what I want

And think the way I want to think

My right I want to speak my mind

My right to yell, my right to speak

My right No one's ever gonna

Tell me what I have to do

I'll live my life the way I want

I don't care about your little world

And I can't believe

You're telling me what's good for me

How do you know what's good?

And I can't believe

You're telling me what to believe

Get away from me

My right

We're popping your cherry tonight!

What do you think of all these losers, huh?

Heh.

Is it over here?

Wait, Ross!

Didn't think I'd see you here.

Figured you'd be home writing some poetry.

Jerry...

I miss you so much, man.

I'm serious.

It's good to see you.

Wait. Are-- you're buzzed!

Yes, Jerry. I'm buzzed.

Jerry! The Fucking bomb, man!

No way! What's up, dude?

You ready to fucking rock, son, or what, man?

OK. OK.

Punk rock has more rules than any other kind

of music in the world...

and I can never keep them straight,

so I say, "Fuck you."

You make things miserable every day

You make me sick with the things you say

You stand for the anthem at the old ball game

And your Pledge of Allegiance is so fucking lame

This kind of freedom is perfect for you

As long as you can get away with what you do

But what you do is in such bad taste

It's your fault the media is such a waste

Be a good American Fuck off

Be a good American Go to war

Be a God-fearing citizen And kill someone or

Kill yourself

Dude, drop your fucking nuts, man,

and get in there!

I want to get in there!

OK!

Dog eat dog, boy eat girl

I'm the Duke of fuckin' Earl

Let's fuck

Come on now, let's fuck

Whaa, yeah, come on

Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed

Old enough to pee, then she's old enough for me

Let's fuck

Whoo

Let's fuck

Let's fuck

Let's fuck, let's fuck

Fuck

Rock

Yeah

Stop my cock from running wild in the street

Stop me now, or else just turn the other cheek

I can't be tamed, I will remain

Unrepentant, and I'll never feel ashamed

Now stop me

You're not done, you asshole.

Fun? Fun!

This is awesome, baby! Whoo!

Get out there, you overly emotional,

suit-wearing, jackass- looking son of a bitch!

Stop the pain and all the madness and the hate

Stop the Earth from fucking, mutilate, and rape

I can't control, must have hope

'Cause that's the one easy elixir of the soul

Girl, stop me

Before I fuck again

Stop me

I'm gonna fuck again

Stop me

Ow

I am the Jesus Christ of sin and vice

I am the Jesus Christ of sin and vice

I am the Jesus Christ of sin and vice

The Jesus Christ of sin and vice

I am the Jesus Christ of sin and vice

So Eddie, right?

That's right, Sean.

I'm glad you remembered.

Yeah, I remember you.

You used to like to fuck every chick in town.

Sean.

I'm sorry, Trish.

It's OK.

I didn't fuck every chick in town,

but I dated a few ladies.

Hmm.

So now you're, like, a rich guy or something?

Yeah, I have some money. I can't complain.

I see.

How'd you make your money?

Well, Sean,

I worked hard for it.

Hmm.

Say, Eddie, don't you have one of those

chick-based web sites?

You know, Sean, we're Eddie's guests here.

I don't think that's--

Trish, it's fine.

It's fine. It's fine.

Yes. Among other things,

I have a web-based... company.

Right, but it's got chicks, right?

It does feature women, yes.

It's like a sex thing?

It's like a... flirt thing.

Ahh. A flirt thing.

So basically--ahem--

you make a living,

you even got a limo,

this fucking beautiful stretch job,

by, uh, working really hard

exploiting women

like a fucking pimp.

You son of a bitch!

Come on, hot shot. Bring it,

you fucking parasite!

OK, guys, guys, guys.

I--uh, I'm really sorry.

You know what, Trish? It's fine.

It's fine.

I've heard this kind of thing before.

Sorry, Trish.

You fucking, bleeding heart, lefty drug addict!

Do you have any idea how much money I pay in taxes?

What the fuck does that even mean?

I pay taxes, too, jackass!

You have no idea what it means to pay taxes--

Raaaah!

You're right, John. Sorry, Eddie.

It's fine.

Salt Lake City, where even the little punker girls are cute.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's one for everyone

Everything you've done for me

And nothing in between

We live in infamy, uncontrollably, baby

See the centerpiece

Fuck the world, I will deny you

I will deny, atomizing, terrorizing, mesmerizing

Fuck the world, I will deny you

I will deny, we will deny

There's room for everyone

It's time to have some fun with me

Man from Galilee

No time for chastity

That now would have to be my dream

Bleeds the Nazarene

Quite a scene

Fuck the world, I will deny you

I will deny, atomizing, terrorizing, mesmerizing

Fuck the world, I will deny you

I will deny-y-y-y

That was interesting!

Yeah! Pretty interesting.

Jesus, Ross.

You are a strange dude.

Penny, let me ask you.

Could you be straight curious

with a guy like me?

Like you?

All right. Me?

It's not gonna happen, Ross.

OK.

I understand.

Jeez. This whole thing.

I mean, you are drunk,

and you're ripe for the rebound.

No. I completely understand.

I have no issue with that.

I get it.

Honestly, I--I'm just not interested.

I mean, you're-- you're not--

I'm not what? Punk, right?

The--the spooky kid, goth dandy.

I get it.

No. You--you are not a one-night stand, Ross.

What do you mean?

I mean, you're the kind of guy

I could fall in love with.

You are a fucking keeper,

and...I'm just not ready for that kind of shit.

Should have, but who really cares?

I sit here and wonder if we are sharing

A different world

And all these making emotions whirling

Around me swirl

Ooh, yeah!

Yeah! my two favorite people getting busy.

Fuck, yeah!

Hey. Hey. Ross, come on. Penny's a girl. I know.

All you deviant emotions making the channels twirl

I'm in love with everybody's girl

Everybody's girl, rock and roll

Ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba

I come to you

On a bright, Sunny morning

All happy to

See you

You turn around, I look at your eyes

They're staring me down like a hawk

In the sky

You're staring me down

Ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ba ba ba ba ba

So, Sean, do you really think Ross

Is gonna be at this concert,

this--this punk concert?

Yes.

Ross is with Crash. It's a big show.

It's where they'd go. It's where I'd go.

Yeah, because I just-- I can't imagine

Ross at a punk concert.

Can you? No.

No, I can't.

So my son made it to a punk show.

It's amazing. I used to go to these shows

all the time back when I was alive,

but, dude, they were never this big, never enough.

If you come to this place, you are welcome.

Here, you will find the freaks, the nuts, the outsiders,

And they aren't just kids.

All ages of weirdoes are here,

all of these people engaged

in what looks like meaningless chaos,

but in this chaos, these people lose themselves.

Look at Ross. Even he is no longer himself.

He has forgotten himself.

That is what I miss about life.

All these people are engaged through the bands,

and the bands have a contract with the people.

They all--all of them in this night,

in this moment

don't have a care in the world.

They aren't concerned with doomsday, money,

jobs, relationships, abuse, bullies,

rapists, murderers, whatever.

They care about nothing.

For now, they are immortal.

Behold the gods, and different from me,

they are alive, the living gods.

Walk

In silence

Don't turn away-ay-ay

In silence

Bring that fucking beat back.

Bring that motherfucking beat back.

Not some of it, not part of it.

Bring the whole motherfucker back.

Hey. Here we go.

Go!

Ignorance and jealousy don't mean much to me

Ignorance and jealousy don't mean much to me

Ignorance and jealousy don't mean much

To meeeee

Fuck

Hey, hey

Another damn day, fuck, here I come

Another damn day, fuck, here I come

Another damn day, fuck, here I come

You don't fuck the truth! The truth fucks you!

Just with the drums-- just drums for a second.

Shh. Hey.

I just have a few words I'd like to say.

Told you we shouldn't have done this again.

Fucking hell.

No, no. You guys are doing fucking phenomenal.

You're gonna--we'll bring the beat back in a second.

Hey.

I just--I just want to say something.

Look.

I don't care. You guys, I don't care

that you're all a fucking Petri dish

of sweaty redneck, crusty punks,

fucking slaves to an outdated music genre.

No offense.

I don't care that you're obsessed with your uniforms

and your fucking hair because to me

you guys are all so beautiful,

and I would fuck all of you right now.

You people are my bitches.

Am I right?

Like, you're my bitches.

Jerry. Fucking Jerry.

Oh, fuck!

Get off him!

Hey, Ross. You OK, man?

Crash, I think I messed up!

Why did you say that, dude?

That was so fucking stupid.

Yeah! Beat that ass!

Tell my mother that I love her!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Hey, Sean. Hey.

Your mom is outside.

My mom's outside?

In the car. Come on.

Excuse me.

Yoowwww!

This is my ode to dope

Come on, baby, it's time to go

Morrison said, "Baby, light my fire"

Well, I said, "I want to get higher"

Yeah, one joint, one joint to go

Come on, girl...

Duh. I mean. Oh, my God.

Is this your car?

It is.

It's beautiful.

Oh, my God. Ross, what is going on with you?

You are such a mess.

It's all good, Mom. It's all good.

It's not good. It's the opposite of good.

Why would you say that?

Look at you.

I can explain, all right?

Did you do this to him?

Whoa, Mom, Mom, Penny didn't do this.

I did it. I did this.

Look at me, look at me.

I need you to see me. This is who I am.

It's OK.

You know what happened to your father.

What am I supposed to think when I see you like this?

Fuck my father. Jesus Christ, Mom.

He was some stupid punk who O.D.ed

a hundred years ago.

Fuck him! Hey!

Walk it off. It's all right.

Hey. I'm not your dead boyfriend, OK?

I just--I don't underst--

I'm not coming home.

Enough.

I don't understand.

Hey. I think I do.

What do you underst--

Just--just--just listen to me.

What? Hey, hey, hey.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

Ross had to fill Bob's shoes his entire life.

That's ridiculous.

Is it?

You thought he was dead the moment you heard

he was drinking.

Come on. Let Ross be a kid.

Let Bob go.

I can't.

Yeah, you can.

No, I can't. Yes, you can.

Sean, he left me.

He left me alone with a kid.

I want to let him go, but I'm just

so fucking mad at him.

Hey, hey. Come here. Come here.

Listen to me. You listening?

It's gonna be OK.

All right?

How do you know? Because I know.

I know. Look at me. Look at me.

Yeah.

I know.

It's gonna be OK.

Hey, Trish.

Everything OK in your world?

Yeah.

Well, at least she's good to him.

What was that?

That girl with Ross.

She seems protective.

Yeah, yeah. Cute couple.

I'm sorry.

I don't like it when you cry.

You know, you really are a mess,

and it's gonna be worse tomorrow because you're

gonna have, like, a headache. Am I?

Hey, John.

I've been meaning to ask you this.

What do you black metal guys have against Jesus?

I don't have anything against Jesus.

I just don't like his fan club.

Is this blood?

Yeah. I don't know if it's mine, though.

Hey! Look who it is! Ross' mom!

Yeah. Oh, God!

Hey! Hi.

Good to see you! Yeah.

What a gem. Yes.

It's good to see you.

And, Sean. I saw you out there, man.

Yes! How you doing?

How's corruption in the Capitol?

It's Good, man. I mean, it's corrupt as ever.

How's the show?

Ho ho ho! Today was off the hook, man!

And Ross--oh--Ross...

is a madman!

It's my mom, so...

It's a god-awful small affair

Well, hey, man. Let's ditch the old people

and go get something to eat.

I guess. No disrespect.

Good idea, punk boy.

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream

To the seats with the clearest view

And she's hooked to the silver screen

How great!

Everyone's letting go,

healing and feeling and living and loving

and all that shit,

but you know what?

In the end of the day,

I'm still dead...

so fuck you!

Sailors fighting in the dance hall

Oh, man, look at those cavemen go

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you

Except the one thing that you want me to

We went across the mighty Rio Grande

And saw Disneyland and the sea

You and me

But there's one thing I'll never do

Not even for you, not even for you

Not even for you

I'm not going to Salt Lake City

I'm not going to Salt Lake City

I'm not going to Salt Lake City

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you

Except to walk among the Osmond crew

I know you're planning for a latter day

And you can't betray what you know in Provo

But there's one less town on the globe

And if you must go there, you're going alone

Not even for you

Not even for you

Not even for you

I'm not going to Salt Lake City

I'm not going to Salt Lake City

I'm not going to Salt Lake City

Even if they tell me I can stay

Even if they resurrect my brain

I don't want to go there

I don't want to go insane

I'm not pure, and I'm not pretty

And I'm not going to Salt Lake City

I'm not living in "Hello Kitty"

And I'm not going to Salt Lake City

I'm not

Oh, no, I'm not

Yeah, yeah, well, I'm not

Oh, no, I'm not

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

Ohh

Ohh, ohh

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

And he's going insane

He's lost control

Ohh

Ohh, oh, ohh

He's lost control

He's lost control of his brain

He's lost control of his brain

He's lost control of his brain

He's lost control of his brain

Ohh

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

Ohh