Original subtitles

- [feedback whines]

Hello, Daventry Hills High.

[feedback intensifies]

Yikes. My surprise bagpipe concert in the library

got a better reception than this.

Maybe if Principal Storms wore a plaid skirt

and a deelybob hat he'd get the same respect that you did.

I don't think that was respect.

And by the way, I want my skirt back.

It needs to be repaired.

Testing, testing.

Where was I?

Oh yes, student council elections are next week.

The school needs strong leaders and we want you--

GPA 2.5 and above, parents' permission required-- to sign up.

Hey, remember when Lyle ran for president and won?

No, you don't? 'Cause in two weeks you will!

No, no, no, guys. I don't know about that.

Go Lyle! Go Lyle!

[chanting] Go Lyle!

Go Lyle! Go-- okay.

Settle down, settle down.

We all know that Lyle is gonna win.

[shouting, cheering]

- You guys. - Can you believe this?

We're supposed to live in a democracy,

and yet student council elections are such a sham.

If you're that bummed about it, why don't you run sometime?

I do run. Every year.

Oh, yeah.

You're the girl that made the angry speeches.

I'm not angry. I'm passionate about issues I believe in.

- You know what I'm passionate about? - What?

Not caring. That's why I don't vote.

See, you're part of the problem.

Don't care. See how that works?

Go Lyle! Go Lyle!

Go Lyle! Go Lyle!

Ready to raid the dreaded Dread Orcs camp?

Mr. President, do you want to take the lead?

I'm not gonna be president.

What? Come on, man. You totally got this locked up.

Kids were chanting "Go Lyle"

three periods after the assembly.

No, you don't understand. I don't want to be president.

I already got football, parties, my girlfriend.

I don't have time for boring student council meetings.

I mean, when am I gonna game with you guys?

Yeah, that's the most important six hours of your day.

Hold up. Lyle, did you just put us on the list with football and parties?

Dante, we have arrived!

Hey, how's the campaign coming?

Well, guys are writing my name on their chest.

That's an important first step.

I should know. I was class president all four years of high school.

How are the finger guns coming along?

[weakly imitates gunshots] Not so sure it's my thing.

Finger guns are out? What's in?

Fist bumps, hand birds? Where are we at?

No, Dad. Running for president.

Of course it's your thing, Lyle.

You come from a whole line of leaders.

The problem with this family is we're good at so many things

sometimes we don't even know we're good at something that we're great at.

So you're saying even if I don't think something is my thing,

I should try that thing just in case it turns out to be my thing?

[imitates gunshot] You got it! Hugginsons always win.

Let's not let that tradition die with my only child, okay?

- So no pressure then. - I'm gonna go make reservations for our victory dinner.

Right now.

I know one of the things I'm good at, but I might be great at,

and that's eating free food at a victory dinner.

Hey, can I order two desserts?

Guys, let's just play.

I don't know how many more free nights I got.

Good thing your dad doesn't know you play the game,

otherwise he'd make you run for king of the Dread Orcs. Am I right?

- I'm right. - I'm not laughing because it's true.

He would make me run for that. Hey, he can make you run,

but he can't make you win-- if you know what I mean.

Wait. Dante's right.

We can help you throw the election.

Awesome! I totally thought of that!

Like lose on purpose?

Yeah. Don't you worry your shampooed little head.

Wyatt and I got you covered.

- We do? - Oh, yeah, we do.

Dude, I said to dress like a ninja, not like a mime.

This the only black clothes I have. Did you bring the supplies?

I sure did. One sec.

Gotta escape.

That better?

Let's do this.

I did not see that coming.

It gets worse.

See my Lyle 'stache?

By Election Day, this bad boy'll be rocking.

If I said I liked ribbon dancing,

everybody would petition to cut its funding.

But if Lyle does it, everyone wants to join?

That's because Lyle is cool

and you've just genuinely expressed a love

for ribbon dancing.

I said "if."

So how do we make everyone think Lyle isn't cool?

[doorbell rings]

So how's Max Ross going to help us?

The guy's got multiple websites dedicated to just hating on him.

If there's anyone who can get my fans to turn against me, it's Max.

- [whistles] - [doorbell rings]

What? I'm spear fishing in my pond.

We heard everybody hates you.

Let me handle this.

- We need your help. - Go away!

That's exactly the kind of negative energy we need, boys.

[shrieks]

Not here.

Okay, so Lyle needs to alienate his fan base.

Have you tried shutting down your game

for 48 hours for maintenance?

That doesn't really apply here, Max.

Okay, what about going public with your theory

that the government has tainted our water supply

to make us mindless mercenaries?

- What? -I'm down with that.

How does it work? Can I drive a dump truck?

Sure.

What you don't know

is that toxic chemicals are killing our brain cells,

rendering us incapable of staging a revolution.

We're looking for something

that would make people not vote for Lyle.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe,

instead of sabotaging Lyle's campaign,

you should be putting your weight behind another candidate?

[water splashes]

There he is!

Aah! My foot! He bit me! Yeah, he bit me.

I guess we'll wait until he's done,

then he'll give us the rest of that idea.

No, I think we got it.

I know exactly the person we should try to elect.

I'll do it.

Should you really be allowed to handle that?

Okay, this year is gonna be different.

Because I have a campaign staff

and we're gonna stay on message.

And we're gonna bring the issues

to Daventry Hills High School students.

Let's go win this thing!

Bullhorn me. [shrieks]

I love it when she tells me what to do.

Creepy.

If you're not outraged, you're not listening.

Vote for Angie.

Wyatt, get those hearts off the I's in "Angie".

I refuse to run on girly stereotypes.

Dante, get those buttons on those kids.

I don't care if you have to hold them down.

- And, Gus. - Yeah.

Stop staring at me like that.

Hey!

[bullhorn whines and electricity crackles]

You just got Big Joe-ed.

And you just got Big Principal Storms-ed.

Stormed.

No, Storms-ed. Whatever. My office now.

[growls]

Instead of vending machines

filled with processed foods and sugary snacks,

- we need carrot sticks and apple slices. - [class groans]

- Question in the back. - Yeah, could you repeat that?

My Triple Cheese-os were making

a loud crunching noise in my head.

Hey, is Lyle gonna come in and talk to us? I made him a cake.

Okay. [grunts]

Even with all our help and suffering through her bossiness--

- Passion. - It's not looking good.

- What? - I projected election results based on a preliminary survey

and well, look.

As you can see, Angie's made very little impact against Lyle.

Plus, I hear people are making cakes and giving them to him.

Yeah, well, that's true.

Maybe this will change some minds.

- [screams] - What?

What, man? He's got a spear gun.

What? No, no, no. We buy votes with Free Fish Fridays.

Everything in the cafeteria harpooned by yours truly.

Yeah, no. We've only got a couple of days before the election, okay?

I don't know if Angie can turn things around by then.

Not without a miracle.

Or a little help from the Booty Box.

You know, the "Booty Box"--

where we keep looted treasure from leaks in the game.

Huh? Huh?

Have we been doing that?

Yeah. What did you think this big box was for?

I didn't want to ask.

It's about the same size as a human body.

That's a lot of junk in that trunk.

Troll repellent, sword of antiperspirant,

- can of whoop air, - [sword vibrating]

dragon breath mint.

Ah, here it is.

- It's a charm bracelet. - How does it work?

Dante, give me your wrist.

I've dreamt of this moment ever since I was a little girl.

In the game, it gives you 30 extra charisma points.

But in real life...

Angie, I love what you did with the place.

And did you get a new haircut?

I did. Thank you for noticing.

Can I get you something to drink? You look thirsty.

Yes. Why don't we go to the kitchen

and grab a nice glass of-- pickle juice!

First person to chug a jarful without barfing wins.

[belches]

That was like watching a reverse werewolf.

This secret weapon is gonna help us do a lot of good for the school.

I feel all fuzzy on the inside.

- You dropped these. - Thank you, sweetie.

She called me sweetie.

Oh! Who is this girl wearing my cute top?

- That's you, pretty lady. - Oh.

I should also mention

the charm bracelet takes away 10 intelligence points.

How many people did it take to draw these?

Wow.

You gotta work on that landing.

I did work on it, and I nailed it.

I think the bracelet's got us covered on the election front.

♪ I know a girl

♪ She's a beauty queen as she rocks the scene, uh-oh! ♪

♪ All over the world people stop and stare ♪

♪ She's everywhere, uh-oh

♪ A regular girl

♪ Thinks she's the farthest thing ♪

♪ From a beauty queen...

Angie, people are just begging for merch.

I'm thinking T-shirts, book covers, and a fragrance--

- "Angie." - Yeah.

Vote for Angie.

♪ If imperfection's got you thinking ♪

♪ You're not worthy and got you hiding in your room... ♪

Quick, wear The Angie.

I like your sweater, Gus.

But what did you do with the sleeves?

It's a vest.

And, Angie, I like-liked you before,

but now I like-like-like you.

That's a tple like. I don't know if one's ever happened to this school before.

Wow.

And I just want you beautiful and special people to know

that you are beautiful

and special

and I know that together

we can make this school beautiful

- and special. - Yeah!

You got my vote, Angie.

And this kid's voting for you, too.

- [knock on door] - Hey.

Nervous about the big election tomorrow?

Not at all. I'm actually quite sure of the outcome.

So you want this as much as I do, right?

- Yep. Absolutely. - That's the Hugginson spirit.

Dinner reservations have been made.

I called, and they're going to carve a brisket

into the shape of your face.

Apparently, they already had a photo of you

because some guy ordered a custom-made cake.

I'm very popular in the culinary world.

[laughing] Yeah.

[imitates gunshots] Yeah.

Well, I'm glad that everything is going according to plan.

But I am just sad

that I won't be able to eat Lyle's face tomorrow.

Gentlemen, as long as I'm not president,

I guarantee there will be another chance to eat my face.

Perfect.

You don't like my platform? I don't like your face!

I have been looking all over for you Three Geeketeers.

That's not very charming.

Can it, pretty boy. We've got a giant problem.

- Like an actual giant? - [gasps]

No.

A giant problem as in...

I lost the charm bracelet.

Oh, man. I never thought I'd get to say this,

but it would be tons easier dealing with an actual giant.

What do you mean you lost the charm bracelet?

I mean I can't find it!

I'm an expert at losing things,

and I often find them in the last place I look.

So let's start there.

Okay, I was at my locker,

which by the way, is filled with unicorns

and rainbow stickers. Ugh! It's creepy.

And then I went to gym.

Dante and I'll retrace your steps.

Wait. If you want to be accurate,

then add in some skipping and a few cartwheels.

Let's blend in.

- I'm so ashamed. - This is horrible.

I'm gonna win this election and then everyone's gonna have to eat my brisket face.

I can't let that happen. Let me see your speech.

I re-wrote it because the old one didn't make any sense.

The I's were dotted with little hearts

and it smelled like gross citrusy body spray.

Yeah, that would be "Angie."

It's not at the locker. Come on.

Thanks, Big Joe.

My pleasure.

Finally I have a non-creepy reason

to go inside the girls' locker room.

There's so much mystery. What do you think is in there?

Velvet benches? A carpeted shower?

Ooh. Wait a sec.

Did Big Joe just hold the door for us?

That was very charming of him, wasn't it?

Count on Gus to count your money for school treasurer.

I didn't mean to say treasurer. You guys knew what I meant.

I don't know what I'm doing. I quit.

Well, Ginger, looks like you're school treasurer.

Yes! Goody. Goody. Goody. Goody. Goody! Goody!

Right, moving on. Vice President candidates.

Thank you, Principal Storms.

Thank you, student body of Daventry Hills.

You may ask yourself what is the vice president's job?

Hi, Big Joe. Would you be interested in my lunch money?

Because I'd like you to have it.

Oh, thanks, Wayne. What a nice gesture.

Hey, Big Joe!

So sorry to interrupt. We know you're a busy and important guy.

We just love your bracelet.

Yeah. Do you think that it would look good on me?

Here. Why don't you try it on?

Not enough guys rock the wrist bling.

Hey, why am I giving you something?

You should be careful with that. That's fragile.

No! My wrist bling.

Well, the less said about that, the better.

Vote with your conscience, people. Moving onto president.

Angie Prieto.

Thank you, Principal Storms, and a big yay for you.

Okay. And thank you,

totally awesome students of Daventry Hills High.

I'm super duper jazzed for this very important day.

[crowd murmuring]

Okay, you know what?

You want to know what's wrong

with these stupid student council elections?

Everyone's too scared to say the truth.

So they come up here and they juggle and dance

- and accidentally catch on fire. - What is she doing?

Hold on. I think she might be turning it around.

- Okay, listen up, you drones. - No.

You buy into these absurd campaign promises

like "no school on Fridays"

or "get fired up with Billy." See what happened?

But nobody stops to think,

what about the difficult boring stuff that matters?

- [chanting] Lyle! Lyle! - Like, being able to afford a school nurse

so we can finally screen for head lice. Who's gonna deal with that?

No, no, no, no, no!

- [chanting] Lyle! Lyle! - [imitates gunshot]

[chanting continuing]

Vote for whoever will make it rain chocolate. I don't care.

Guys, come on.

Okay, that's what we need on student council,

someone who's not afraid to get up here and speak the ugly truth.

So everyone who was chanting "Lyle," start chanting "Angie."

Lyle said to say Angie.

Lyle said to say Angie.

Lyle said to say Angie.

Lyle said to say Angie.

- Lyle said-- - No, just "Angie."

Come on. [chanting] Angie! Angie! Angie!

[chanting continues]

- Can we take credit for this one? - I'm gonna.

All right, we did it. Whoo!

Hey! Angie! Angie! Angie! Angie!

[knock on door]

We need to talk about today.

If you didn't want to run, you should have spoken up.

Okay, Dad. Maybe I didn't want to run.

I'm glad you told me,

but I wish you had you said something earlier

because I already paid for your big victory dinner.

- Sorry I let you down, Dad. - You didn't let me down.

I'm getting a free dinner.

You just said you already paid for it.

I did. But you're gonna pay me back.

See, we had an election of our own

down at the car dealership,

and you were voted president of washing all of the cars

for the next six months.

[imitates gunshots]

Congratulations, President of the Car Wash.

- I guess you can't lose 'em all. - Ha ha! Very funny, okay?

Yeah, you're right. Your political career isn't washed upafter all.

All right, all right.

Don't worry, you're still a shining star in our eyes.

A bumper shining star.

- I'm logging off now. - No, wait. I've got one about a sponge.

- What? - [computer powers down]