All language subtitles for Jimpa.2025.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:51,019 --> 00:00:52,987 So remember, just do the task. 4 00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:56,524 Simply see the person's hands and describe them. 5 00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:01,194 So you've got a little roundy scar 6 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,964 on the knuckle there. 7 00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:04,431 And, um... 8 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:09,269 ...you've got lovely long fingers, really... nice nails. 9 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,104 Don't judge. 10 00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,173 It's not about whether the hand is good or bad. 11 00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,643 Just about observing, paying attention. 12 00:01:15,677 --> 00:01:16,711 OK? 13 00:01:17,712 --> 00:01:19,246 -May I? -Yeah. 14 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,221 OK, long fingers. 15 00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:30,725 There's a scratch there 16 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,627 on the knuckle of the index finger. 17 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,962 Cat scratch. 18 00:01:33,995 --> 00:01:36,030 And there's another one there just higher up. 19 00:01:36,064 --> 00:01:38,465 It veers off to the left a bit. 20 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:41,736 The thumb has a little bitten bit to the left 21 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,437 of the nail. 22 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:47,140 And when you've done the task, just the task, long enough, 23 00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,011 uh, you move up to their face, 24 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:51,579 their eyes. 25 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:57,018 And the top dark lash line 26 00:01:57,051 --> 00:02:02,422 just cuts off the very tip of the... the dark brown iris. 27 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,458 And there's a... there's a darker line 28 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,159 around the outside of the iris. 29 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:12,066 And it's... it's hard not to feel a... an intimacy. 30 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:15,770 An almost instant intimacy and a... 31 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,405 An excitement? 32 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,842 Yeah, for sure, an excitement in the intimacy. 33 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,512 And it's a good way to create an intense intimacy 34 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,015 between your actors and sometimes with you. 35 00:02:27,048 --> 00:02:29,249 You know, and it's an intimacy you'll feel 36 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,518 very comfortable with. 37 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,886 It's our job. 38 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,254 But they need to understand this pact - 39 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,355 what it's for, 40 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,925 that the intimacy is for the work. 41 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,028 OK? Do you want to carry on? 42 00:02:40,061 --> 00:02:41,395 - Yep. - Thank you. 43 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,768 OK. 44 00:02:46,801 --> 00:02:48,603 OK, well done. 45 00:02:51,673 --> 00:02:53,808 Ah, that's always a bad sign. 46 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,977 He was meant to stay with our friend Renate, 47 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,146 but he's peeing all over the place and there's... 48 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,614 Blood in the piss? 49 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,248 Yeah, blood in the urine. 50 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,751 Dearest, why do you say 'urine'? 51 00:03:03,785 --> 00:03:05,485 Well, what do you want me to say? 52 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,989 I want you to tell me what's wrong with him. 53 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,724 I am telling you what's wrong with him. 54 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,391 Is it cancer? 55 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,393 Yeah, tumour in his bladder. 56 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,797 What timing. 57 00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:17,565 Yeah, you could say that. 58 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,835 I could say that, yes. I did just say that, didn't I? 59 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,603 yeah, you did just say that. 60 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,505 Every time you go on holiday, 61 00:03:24,539 --> 00:03:26,007 something bad happens. 62 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,474 Well, it's not just a holiday. 63 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,711 I've got work too and that's harder to cancel. 64 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,344 A visit to your beloved dad 65 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,313 is easier to cancel than work? 66 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,850 -Oh! I get it. -You actually do get it. 67 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,186 Yeah, it's true. 68 00:03:41,022 --> 00:03:42,957 I just don't know if I can burden a friend 69 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,291 with a dying dog. 70 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,062 Might only have two weeks and we wouldn't be around. 71 00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:51,398 If he's in a lot of pain, you should put him down now. 72 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,900 Mmm. 73 00:03:52,934 --> 00:03:55,103 Dogs don't show their suffering. 74 00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:56,904 That's why we love them. 75 00:03:56,938 --> 00:03:58,639 Is that why we love them? 76 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,675 Dear daughter, you know you can't 77 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,643 keep him around just for your sake. 78 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:03,845 I'm just not sure we can 79 00:04:03,878 --> 00:04:06,013 say goodbye that fast and get on a plane. 80 00:04:07,115 --> 00:04:08,883 Don't hang onto him. 81 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,018 It's the kindest thing you could do. 82 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:13,187 Maybe. 83 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,525 I'll look after him. 84 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,761 No, you've already got plans, don't you? 85 00:04:19,794 --> 00:04:21,763 I've already changed things around. 86 00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:25,566 I don't want him to suffer. 87 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,735 You can't postpone your trip. 88 00:04:27,769 --> 00:04:30,238 Dad said I should put him down now, not prolong it. 89 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,608 Oh, right. Well, your fucking father would say that. 90 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,611 Sorry, Kirby was his gift. 91 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,613 I feel like he's got a say in it. 92 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,647 Of course. 93 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,682 What does he think about your film? 94 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,084 I haven't talked to him about it yet. 95 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,252 Oh. 96 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,286 Well, you could arrive 97 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,222 to a house full of stray gays 98 00:04:48,256 --> 00:04:50,758 and he won't have time for you or Frances. 99 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:51,926 Maybe. 100 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,429 I picked up mince from the butcher, and I read that 101 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,633 if you put the tablets in that, he should eat it. 102 00:04:58,666 --> 00:04:59,967 If that doesn't work, 103 00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,003 get the vet to make it into a flavoured liquid. 104 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,404 Yeah, if he changes energy levels or appetite, 105 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,673 you let me know. 106 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,308 Sorry. 107 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,711 Yeah, well, the teaching helps pay for the trip over, 108 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,380 but we will see him. 109 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,049 We're staying with him. 110 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,617 Yeah, we're staying with him, Mum. 111 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,955 I'm going so I can see Dad, so, yeah, of course. 112 00:05:23,925 --> 00:05:25,026 Listen, I've got to go, 113 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,527 but, uh, if he changes even his gait 114 00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:30,497 or... or sleeping patterns, you let me know, OK? 115 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,999 Bye. 116 00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,104 Are you OK, Mum? 117 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,007 I should have said, "I love you." 118 00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:41,175 To Kirby? 119 00:05:41,209 --> 00:05:42,877 No, to Mum. I just said, "Bye." 120 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,679 I should have said, "I love you." 121 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,252 Have a good flight. 122 00:05:55,156 --> 00:05:56,123 All good? 123 00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:58,125 Yeah, all good. 124 00:05:58,159 --> 00:05:59,660 What did you want to talk about? 125 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,731 It's OK. Now's not a good time. 126 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,465 It's fine. Tell me. 127 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,001 OK. 128 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,571 I wanna live with Jimpa for a bit. 129 00:06:10,605 --> 00:06:12,273 What do you mean? 130 00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,975 Mm, I was thinking 131 00:06:14,008 --> 00:06:16,544 I could do Year 11 in Amsterdam with Jimpa. 132 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,579 - No way. - Why not? 133 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:22,750 He's still recovering from a stroke. 134 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,518 That was three years ago. 135 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,855 No way! It's an important year next year and you're only 16. 136 00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:30,423 And we're your parents, not Jim. 137 00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:31,792 Why don't you wait? 138 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:34,528 Do it after graduation. You can have a gap year. 139 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:37,298 Because I need to experience a bigger queer community 140 00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,100 than my shitty LGBT club at school 141 00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,433 in my shitty little city. 142 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,603 But you love school. 143 00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:44,372 I used to. 144 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,541 Is that why you packed so much? 145 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,144 You just thought you'd stay there? 146 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:53,014 Oh! What a waste of a return flight. 147 00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:54,215 We could have saved a fortune! 148 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,415 OK, let's talk about this later. 149 00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,051 But you asked me to talk about it. 150 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,953 I feel like I need to give you my full attention. 151 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,388 I don't think I can do that at the moment. 152 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,990 OK, well, let's just all relax. 153 00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:10,898 Mum? 154 00:07:10,932 --> 00:07:12,066 Mmm? 155 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,701 It's OK. 156 00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:26,414 Kirby was a gift from my father. 157 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,117 One day he turned up with an uncontrollable puppy. 158 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,956 I didn't want him, but I didn't get a choice. 159 00:07:36,057 --> 00:07:38,326 Says a lot about my dad. 160 00:07:40,261 --> 00:07:42,063 The day my mum gave birth to me, 161 00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:44,464 my grandfather got on the first flight to Adelaide. 162 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,834 I wanted us to be alone 163 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,803 with our newborn baby. 164 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,938 But he rang from the front door 165 00:07:50,972 --> 00:07:52,306 with a painting. 166 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,677 And my mum was so happy to see him. 167 00:07:56,711 --> 00:07:58,679 And she said to me, "Frances, 168 00:07:58,713 --> 00:08:00,915 "this person will tell you about art 169 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:04,051 "and politics and theatre. 170 00:08:04,085 --> 00:08:07,021 "He will challenge you to be the best version of yourself." 171 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,957 I simply said, 172 00:08:09,991 --> 00:08:13,027 "Frances, this is your grandpa, Jim." 173 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,396 But he thought 'grandpa' sounded too old. 174 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,999 So he gave himself a new name. 175 00:08:18,032 --> 00:08:19,433 He said... 176 00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:22,136 "Hello, Frances. I'm Jimpa." 177 00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:29,944 The thing is, I don't think I would be here 178 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:34,582 openly trans, non-binary, queer if it wasn't for him. 179 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,019 That's him sometime in the '50s. 180 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,355 He loves art 181 00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:42,923 and he loves to get naked. 182 00:08:44,225 --> 00:08:45,860 And he still has a painting 183 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,362 that he sat for years ago which hangs 184 00:08:48,396 --> 00:08:51,132 in his apartment in Amsterdam for all to see. 185 00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:57,138 He married my grandmother, Katherine, in 1973. 186 00:08:57,171 --> 00:08:59,540 They had Emily, my aunt, 187 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:02,176 and Hannah, my mum. 188 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,279 Right after my mum was born, Jimpa came out as gay. 189 00:09:13,254 --> 00:09:15,256 My grandma got really skinny after this, 190 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,757 as well as a big perm, 191 00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:20,294 and everyone complimented her on how amazing she looked. 192 00:09:24,265 --> 00:09:28,135 Uh, so, obviously it was devastating for her. 193 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,472 Uh, we expect the... the narrative 194 00:09:31,506 --> 00:09:34,141 of a husband coming out to his wife 195 00:09:34,175 --> 00:09:37,211 to follow the notes of a big betrayal in a marriage. 196 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,047 But she chose to respond differently 197 00:09:40,081 --> 00:09:41,582 than what was expected. 198 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:45,653 Um, they both decided on a new bond - 199 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:49,223 to stay together, uh, to co-parent. 200 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,258 Uh, also to have other relationships. 201 00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:56,130 But they chose kindness rather than conflict. 202 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,833 Jimpa always argues. 203 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,434 Look, mate, you know... 204 00:10:00,468 --> 00:10:01,802 I don't think... 205 00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:03,070 He worked in politics 206 00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:04,472 when my mum was little. 207 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,844 And then during the AIDS crisis, 208 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,213 he moved to Amsterdam to work in public health. 209 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,416 And he's never stopped fighting 210 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:19,521 for those he loves and for who he is. 211 00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:21,889 All the while still enjoying getting naked. 212 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:27,061 So it's a personal story about my parents, 213 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:31,398 um, and my main drive is to tell the story of the kindness 214 00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:33,901 they showed to each other over that period 215 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,003 rather than the conflict. 216 00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,173 So it's a drama without conflict. 217 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,978 But... 218 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:47,148 ...isn't drama by very definition conflict? 219 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:51,185 I think it's possible to make a compelling film 220 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,853 avoiding it completely. 221 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,590 I don't think it is. 222 00:10:55,624 --> 00:10:57,526 I think you're wrong. 223 00:11:00,261 --> 00:11:01,862 See, is that conflict? 224 00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:04,098 Well, I think that's someone 225 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:06,467 expressing a different opinion. 226 00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,135 A conflict of opinion. 227 00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,605 Therefore... 228 00:11:10,639 --> 00:11:12,039 ...conflict. 229 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,576 Maybe. 230 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,547 So he's not just my grandpa. 231 00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:22,016 I think he's my true forever hero. 232 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,351 Any questions? 233 00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:44,673 We should wake Frances up. 234 00:11:47,308 --> 00:11:49,810 Don't. Let them sleep. 235 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,482 It's probably just a passing fancy, 236 00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:57,384 the excitement of travel. 237 00:11:57,418 --> 00:11:59,588 So you do think it's a bad idea. 238 00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:03,023 I think once Frances spends some time with Dad, 239 00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:04,391 they'll soon change their mind. 240 00:12:04,425 --> 00:12:05,960 Really? 241 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,795 Frances idolises him. 242 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,197 But they only see each other once every couple of years 243 00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:11,600 and Frances has built up 244 00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:13,267 this idea of him in their head. 245 00:12:14,335 --> 00:12:15,936 And Dad can be very appealing, 246 00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:17,771 but just because he's got all these great, 247 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,139 very admirable ideals 248 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,041 doesn't mean he necessarily puts them into practice. 249 00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,143 Can you imagine living with Dad for a year? 250 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,679 No. 251 00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:27,381 And we don't want to be the ones saying no to Frances. 252 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,382 It doesn't help. 253 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,317 I'm quite happy saying no. 254 00:12:30,351 --> 00:12:31,919 But you prefer Frances to be 255 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,221 disappointed by your father rather than by you. 256 00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:37,057 Or... 257 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,595 . ..we let Frances come to understand Jim a bit better... 258 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,230 . ..and make a better choice then. 259 00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:50,838 Their food's getting cold. 260 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,807 So the food gets cold. Let them sleep. 261 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,144 Is making our daughter go hungry 262 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,179 really worth avoiding this conversation? 263 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:02,149 Do you think Frances would rather we use the word 'child' 264 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,585 than 'daughter'? 265 00:13:03,618 --> 00:13:05,754 Why don't we ask them? 266 00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:27,709 Richard! 267 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:30,177 What a beautiful sight! 268 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,646 There he is. 269 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,213 Richard. 270 00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:35,517 Smiling. 271 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,055 Hey. 272 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:43,123 - Oh, look at you! - Oh! 273 00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:44,892 Oh, wow! 274 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,761 Sorry, we didn't sleep much on the plane. 275 00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:48,862 Why are you apologising? Do we smell? 276 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,264 No, it's 'cause Richard's 277 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,800 so perfectly put together. 278 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:52,833 You're so stylish. 279 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,134 Oh, thank you. 280 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:56,970 Welcome, my smelly, unfashionable Australians. 281 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,972 Welkom in Amsterdam. 282 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,392 Where's Dad? 283 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,194 The Professor is "working". 284 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,530 He sent me to collect you with the boat. 285 00:14:22,564 --> 00:14:24,131 -Oh, we're going by boat? -Yeah, I know. 286 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,767 It's ridiculous and touristy, 287 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,935 but he said that Frances always loved the boat. 288 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,571 I'm not sure we'll all fit in. 289 00:14:29,604 --> 00:14:32,272 Oh, let's just go. I really need to eat something. 290 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,641 Oh! 291 00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:34,843 - Shut up. - OK. Alright. 292 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,009 Let me grab this. 293 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,311 - Wait, are they... - Nuh-uh-uh. 294 00:14:46,621 --> 00:14:47,955 Sorry! 295 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,804 As his valued research assistant, 296 00:15:02,837 --> 00:15:04,905 do you do many domestic errands? 297 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,207 Who said anything about research assistant? 298 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:09,343 I'm his damn everything assistant. 299 00:15:10,545 --> 00:15:12,847 At least for now. 300 00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:14,415 Is everything OK? 301 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:19,119 He's leaving the university at the end of the month. 302 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,355 Well, that wasn't gonna last forever. 303 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,791 Mmm. 304 00:15:24,893 --> 00:15:27,595 Does that mean you won't have a job after that? 305 00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:30,297 He says I will, but I don't see how. 306 00:15:31,699 --> 00:15:33,934 I'd follow him to the end of the earth anyway. 307 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,103 You know what he'd say to that? 308 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,473 "Be grateful and fuckin' move on." 309 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,110 Oh, it's so nice to see you. 310 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,012 Well, it's really nice to see you too. 311 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,146 Yeah. 312 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,387 Where'd you get that piece of shit? 313 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,622 Oh! 314 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,391 Why don't you borrow one of mine? 315 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,794 No, no, don't you dare! It's only got 27 shots. 316 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,062 -Oh, OK, well, get it... -Dad! 317 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,964 -Why not? -Give it back. 318 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,466 It's mine! 319 00:16:09,704 --> 00:16:11,472 Very good. 320 00:16:11,506 --> 00:16:13,875 Photographer! Like father, like child. 321 00:16:13,908 --> 00:16:15,710 Whoa. 322 00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:17,277 Makes me sound like a kid. 323 00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:19,547 Hiya! We're very wet! 324 00:16:20,582 --> 00:16:22,650 Hey, um, I've been meaning to ask. 325 00:16:22,684 --> 00:16:24,886 Would you prefer 'daughter' or 'child'? 326 00:16:24,919 --> 00:16:26,987 Hmm, I mean, 'daughter's not great, 327 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,656 but, um, I don't want you to be calling me 'child' 328 00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:29,757 when I'm an adult. 329 00:16:29,791 --> 00:16:31,391 Dad still calls me child. 330 00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,928 Because you'll always be my child! 331 00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:35,597 Hello! 332 00:16:35,630 --> 00:16:38,198 It's the celebrity children! 333 00:16:38,232 --> 00:16:40,635 Come here, come here. Oh! 334 00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:43,237 Never be afraid to be called a child. 335 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,772 It's humbling. 336 00:16:44,806 --> 00:16:47,542 - Harry! - Hi! Hello! 337 00:16:47,575 --> 00:16:50,512 -How are you? -My glorious grand-thing! 338 00:16:50,545 --> 00:16:53,515 Oh, you're all soggy. 339 00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:55,683 I told you it was going to rain today, Richard. 340 00:16:55,717 --> 00:16:57,217 No hugs for you. 341 00:16:57,251 --> 00:16:59,119 You also told me to take out the boat. 342 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,488 Yeah, think for yourself. That's what I pay you for. 343 00:17:01,523 --> 00:17:05,292 Old man, that is the one thing you do not pay me for. 344 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:08,128 Oh, years later and not one single sexual favour. 345 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,463 Dad! 346 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:12,332 No, he's not good for anything except making tea. 347 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,167 So go make tea, assistant. 348 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,770 Dad, you can't say this stuff. 349 00:17:15,803 --> 00:17:17,437 You don't know what you're talking about, Professor. 350 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,439 - You never let me make tea. - I'll make the tea. 351 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:20,975 Yes, you go, Harry. 352 00:17:21,009 --> 00:17:22,710 Milk in first, otherwise you'll... 353 00:17:22,744 --> 00:17:24,044 . ..get pregnant. 354 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,713 - Yeah. - Look. Look, look, look, look. 355 00:17:25,747 --> 00:17:27,347 Look what I got out. 356 00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:28,883 -Ooh! -Look. 357 00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,418 Decades worth. 358 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,821 Here. Uh, this one. 359 00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:35,990 'Dorothy's Best Friend'. 360 00:17:36,024 --> 00:17:38,026 Hmm! What does that mean? 361 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,293 Oh! 362 00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:42,564 My dear grand-thing, you have so much to learn. 363 00:17:42,597 --> 00:17:45,499 That's when there was such a thing as subtext. 364 00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:46,935 The unnamed. 365 00:17:46,968 --> 00:17:50,404 When we had to use euphemism to show solidarity, 366 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,974 to codify and identify. 367 00:17:53,007 --> 00:17:54,107 That sounds horrifying. 368 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,811 You're all text now. 369 00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:58,211 No subtext. 370 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,681 No nuance. 371 00:17:59,714 --> 00:18:02,316 Yeah, well, it's tough not being repressed. 372 00:18:04,719 --> 00:18:07,187 'Talk with us, not about us'. 373 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,058 Hobart, 1988. 374 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,894 Yeah. You see, Richard? Good memory. 375 00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:14,929 Well done, Professor. 376 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:19,567 Ah, this one. '3rd National Conference on AIDS'. 377 00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:23,705 We asked everyone with HIV to take the stage. 378 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,608 That was when we first discovered 379 00:18:26,641 --> 00:18:29,476 that 50% of the staff were positive. 380 00:18:31,713 --> 00:18:33,313 Including me. 381 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,884 It was a scary moment, 382 00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:37,885 but rallying. 383 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:44,157 More than half would be dead within only a few years. 384 00:18:45,593 --> 00:18:47,461 As a friend of mine once said, 385 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:50,230 "The toll of being at the epicentre 386 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,767 "was very large." 387 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,674 'It's Not Just a Phase Week, 1984'. 388 00:18:59,707 --> 00:19:00,875 - Very cute. - Hmm. 389 00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:02,910 These are all for you. 390 00:19:03,878 --> 00:19:04,946 What? 391 00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:07,214 -I'm bequeathing them to you. -Why? 392 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,383 What, my daughter doesn't want them? 393 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,318 Surely there's an archive you can donate them to? 394 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,854 Well, yes, but they're for you. 395 00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:14,522 I'll definitely take them. 396 00:19:14,555 --> 00:19:16,524 I feel a bit ambushed - this is quite morbid, 397 00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:18,358 like there's gonna be the reading of a will. 398 00:19:18,392 --> 00:19:20,128 They're just badges! 399 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,030 Why have you decided to do this now? 400 00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:23,397 What's the doctor say? 401 00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:25,800 You worry too much. 402 00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:28,002 I thought Frances would like them and she did. 403 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,070 They! 404 00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:30,104 Oh! 405 00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:34,542 Would they like to give me another hug 406 00:19:34,575 --> 00:19:36,476 or are they too busy self-identifying? 407 00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:39,212 Why do you have to be so provocative all the time? 408 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,582 Oh, I missed you. 409 00:19:41,616 --> 00:19:43,685 I love you too much! 410 00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:44,886 I love you too, Richard. 411 00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:47,088 - Hmm. - My beautiful assistant. 412 00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:49,590 I don't want your badges either, 413 00:19:49,624 --> 00:19:50,758 but thank you very much. 414 00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:52,727 Oh, shit! It took me all morning. 415 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,862 - I cried twice. - You did not! 416 00:19:54,896 --> 00:19:56,363 Three times. 417 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:58,666 I might have a little lie-down. 418 00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,300 I didn't get much sleep on the plane. 419 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,335 -Mmm. -You don't want your tea? 420 00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:06,808 Blatant display of heterosexuality. 421 00:20:06,841 --> 00:20:08,208 That's enough now! 422 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,711 Oh, oh, oh. 423 00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:13,114 There's one I especially wanted to find. 424 00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:14,182 Mmm? 425 00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:24,926 That's you. 426 00:20:24,959 --> 00:20:26,594 Yes! 427 00:20:48,049 --> 00:20:50,118 Hmm? 428 00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:52,385 hmmm? 429 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,555 You should have woken me up. 430 00:20:56,591 --> 00:20:58,092 You're too cute when you sleep. 431 00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,694 Why would I wake you up? 432 00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:01,763 I wanted to get through some work 433 00:21:01,796 --> 00:21:03,898 so I could spend the day with Dad and Frances. 434 00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:05,733 They know you have to work. 435 00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:08,102 Yeah, I know, but it doesn't mean they like it. 436 00:21:10,171 --> 00:21:11,672 Are you afraid that Frances 437 00:21:11,706 --> 00:21:13,574 will spend some time alone with Jim? 438 00:21:17,512 --> 00:21:20,248 At some point, he is gonna hurt Frances. 439 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,084 Yeah. Isn't that your plan? 440 00:21:23,117 --> 00:21:25,586 Frances spends time with Jim. 441 00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:28,388 He eventually disappoints them 442 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,457 and they change their mind 443 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,392 about wanting to live here for a year. 444 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,362 Yeah, but there is a difference between 445 00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:36,931 being disappointed and being hurt. 446 00:21:37,932 --> 00:21:39,567 So talk to our child. 447 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,669 Tell them what to expect. 448 00:21:44,038 --> 00:21:46,373 He said, "I love you," to Frances. 449 00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,176 And to Richard. 450 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:50,878 He never used to say, "I love you." 451 00:21:50,912 --> 00:21:52,312 He used to say, "You show love 452 00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:53,915 "with actions, not empty words." 453 00:21:55,716 --> 00:21:57,752 He's softened since the stroke. 454 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,188 He's different. 455 00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:04,158 Your cunning plan might not work. 456 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,029 Oh. Maybe. 457 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,135 Hmm. 458 00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:15,670 Go get 'em, tiger. 459 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,459 I love it. I really do. 460 00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:43,430 I do find it hard to believe there wasn't any conflict 461 00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:47,268 when your dad finally left you at... 462 00:22:47,301 --> 00:22:48,502 13. 463 00:22:48,536 --> 00:22:50,071 ...13. 464 00:22:51,005 --> 00:22:54,141 Conflict would have been there even if it's repressed. 465 00:22:54,175 --> 00:22:57,545 I think any 13-year-old would be sad 466 00:22:57,578 --> 00:22:59,013 being without their father. 467 00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:00,781 Why did he leave, then? 468 00:23:00,815 --> 00:23:04,352 After staying with your mother for so long after coming out? 469 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:05,720 Uh, work. 470 00:23:05,753 --> 00:23:09,023 As a gay man and a political one, he hit a ceiling, 471 00:23:09,056 --> 00:23:10,625 and, uh... 472 00:23:10,658 --> 00:23:12,260 . ..he needed to find opportunities 473 00:23:12,293 --> 00:23:14,795 in a more progressive part of the world. 474 00:23:15,897 --> 00:23:16,931 OK. 475 00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:19,634 So there is conflict there for him. 476 00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:24,171 Do I stay with my family and sacrifice my own ambition? 477 00:23:24,205 --> 00:23:26,941 Or do I owe it to myself 478 00:23:26,974 --> 00:23:29,977 to fully explore who I am and my opportunities? 479 00:23:30,011 --> 00:23:32,546 But he hit the ceiling and he made the choice 480 00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:33,948 at the expense of his family. 481 00:23:33,981 --> 00:23:35,917 The family accepted him, 482 00:23:35,950 --> 00:23:37,385 loved him, 483 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:40,021 he was able to be himself, but... 484 00:23:40,054 --> 00:23:41,522 ...still left them. 485 00:23:42,523 --> 00:23:43,624 You weren't hurt 486 00:23:43,658 --> 00:23:45,458 or angry at your father leaving? 487 00:23:46,459 --> 00:23:51,032 Uh, we understood that he needed to leave. 488 00:23:51,065 --> 00:23:52,667 What matters to me 489 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,903 is how hard everyone tried to do the right thing. 490 00:23:55,937 --> 00:23:58,639 Uh, it's not important if I was hurt or angry. 491 00:23:58,673 --> 00:24:00,808 What if I'm angry now, for instance? 492 00:24:01,742 --> 00:24:03,110 You're angry now? 493 00:24:03,144 --> 00:24:06,280 Mmm. Would it help to express it? 494 00:24:06,314 --> 00:24:08,282 Uh, I'm not so sure. 495 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:09,684 And would it help with this meeting 496 00:24:09,717 --> 00:24:11,252 or us working together? 497 00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:12,887 Definitely not. 498 00:24:15,623 --> 00:24:18,426 O... ok, um... 499 00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:22,163 Fuck me. 500 00:24:30,004 --> 00:24:31,238 Hello? 501 00:24:31,272 --> 00:24:32,406 Hello? 502 00:24:34,308 --> 00:24:35,376 Hello? 503 00:24:35,409 --> 00:24:36,644 Hello. 504 00:24:39,847 --> 00:24:42,583 I bet he hasn't left one for you. 505 00:24:42,616 --> 00:24:43,684 Oh! 506 00:24:43,718 --> 00:24:45,386 You should take it while you're here. 507 00:24:46,954 --> 00:24:49,056 I'm sorry we've taken over your bedroom. 508 00:24:49,090 --> 00:24:51,292 Well, it's definitely not my bedroom. 509 00:24:52,893 --> 00:24:54,929 And I've been staying here less and less. 510 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:07,074 You think... 511 00:25:10,878 --> 00:25:13,381 Oh! 512 00:25:13,414 --> 00:25:16,550 It was convenient for a while, but now not so much. 513 00:25:16,584 --> 00:25:18,652 Have you moved closer to Amsterdam? 514 00:25:18,686 --> 00:25:22,223 No, no, it's just I need to work when I'm in town 515 00:25:22,256 --> 00:25:24,692 and, you know, your father takes up a lot of time. 516 00:25:24,725 --> 00:25:27,228 He does demand attention. 517 00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:30,197 I've been wanting to talk to him about it for a while. 518 00:25:30,231 --> 00:25:31,699 I see. 519 00:25:34,168 --> 00:25:35,936 He's still struggling. 520 00:25:35,970 --> 00:25:37,738 Emily said. 521 00:25:37,772 --> 00:25:39,407 Since your sister left, 522 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,942 Richard's been doing most of the heavy lifting. 523 00:25:41,976 --> 00:25:43,644 He has sent me a lot of articles 524 00:25:43,677 --> 00:25:45,012 and grant applications 525 00:25:45,046 --> 00:25:48,517 to finish off and smooth out when I can. 526 00:25:48,549 --> 00:25:50,418 You shouldn't be the one covering for him. 527 00:25:51,786 --> 00:25:53,921 I'm sorry none of us have been here to help. 528 00:25:58,626 --> 00:26:00,795 You can stop looking after him. 529 00:26:01,829 --> 00:26:02,930 Hmm. 530 00:26:06,535 --> 00:26:08,335 You sound like him. 531 00:26:12,973 --> 00:26:14,475 Over the years, he has taught me 532 00:26:14,509 --> 00:26:16,877 to need him less and less, but... 533 00:26:18,045 --> 00:26:19,146 But he's still hurt 534 00:26:19,180 --> 00:26:20,549 that you're not around as much. 535 00:26:21,550 --> 00:26:23,417 Hmm. Yeah. 536 00:26:24,585 --> 00:26:26,053 Thank you, Matti. 537 00:26:26,087 --> 00:26:27,221 Hot, I hope. 538 00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:28,689 If only you were hot. 539 00:26:29,790 --> 00:26:31,125 You have to be careful with steroids 540 00:26:31,158 --> 00:26:32,393 if you're taking warfarin. 541 00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:33,794 Why are you taking steroids? 542 00:26:33,828 --> 00:26:36,597 A date the other week said I looked too skinny. 543 00:26:36,630 --> 00:26:37,932 - A date? - Yes! 544 00:26:37,965 --> 00:26:39,300 He means a hook-up. 545 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:42,770 You've looked exactly the same for 97 years, Mark. 546 00:26:42,803 --> 00:26:44,472 You've had no problem before. 547 00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:12,534 Whoo! 548 00:27:15,269 --> 00:27:17,738 Steroids don't work on old men. 549 00:27:17,771 --> 00:27:19,608 I sense you've already tried. 550 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,774 Of course. 551 00:27:22,376 --> 00:27:25,012 But what are you into, Frances? 552 00:27:25,045 --> 00:27:26,447 What can we help you with? 553 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,182 Uh, 'into'? 554 00:27:28,215 --> 00:27:29,650 Are you a lesbian? 555 00:27:29,683 --> 00:27:31,218 Don't be so old. 556 00:27:31,252 --> 00:27:33,721 What? That's not a bad question, is it? 557 00:27:33,754 --> 00:27:36,223 You can't be a lesbian if you're not a woman. 558 00:27:36,257 --> 00:27:37,291 Oh. 559 00:27:37,324 --> 00:27:39,793 I like women and I'm also attracted to 560 00:27:39,827 --> 00:27:42,062 people who don't identify as a gender either way 561 00:27:42,096 --> 00:27:43,598 but are a bit femme. 562 00:27:43,632 --> 00:27:45,399 I love how much your generation 563 00:27:45,432 --> 00:27:46,667 knows what they want. 564 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:48,169 It doesn't sound like anything. 565 00:27:48,202 --> 00:27:50,971 It's not a preference, it's a non-preference. 566 00:27:51,005 --> 00:27:52,072 So... 567 00:27:52,106 --> 00:27:53,474 . ..you don't like men. 568 00:27:53,508 --> 00:27:55,042 Cis men. 569 00:27:55,075 --> 00:27:56,277 Penis? 570 00:27:56,310 --> 00:27:57,945 I don't know. 571 00:27:57,978 --> 00:28:00,114 Jim, can we talk about how unsatisfying 572 00:28:00,147 --> 00:28:01,815 getting your penis sucked is now? 573 00:28:01,849 --> 00:28:02,917 Oh, you too? 574 00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:04,519 I feel it's getting lower and lower 575 00:28:04,553 --> 00:28:05,920 on my pleasure scale. 576 00:28:05,953 --> 00:28:08,355 That's because you go straight for hole. 577 00:28:08,389 --> 00:28:10,724 Oh, you're right. I do love ass too much. 578 00:28:12,059 --> 00:28:15,829 Frances has still not stated a preference. 579 00:28:17,798 --> 00:28:21,068 Well, genitals aren't really what attracts me to people. 580 00:28:21,101 --> 00:28:22,637 How are we talking about genitals 581 00:28:22,671 --> 00:28:24,438 all of a sudden, anyway? 582 00:28:24,471 --> 00:28:26,173 Because you're talking to us. 583 00:28:26,207 --> 00:28:27,875 It's all for show, Frances. 584 00:28:27,908 --> 00:28:30,311 We mostly talk about real estate now. 585 00:28:30,344 --> 00:28:32,246 In that regard, Amsterdam has gotten much better. 586 00:28:32,279 --> 00:28:33,847 You're such a conservative. 587 00:28:33,881 --> 00:28:35,049 I'm just being encouraging 588 00:28:35,082 --> 00:28:37,184 towards Frances's idea of moving here. 589 00:28:38,419 --> 00:28:40,254 You know, Amsterdam used to be about 590 00:28:40,287 --> 00:28:43,224 squatter protests and housing rights, but the government's 591 00:28:43,257 --> 00:28:44,959 free-market push is a disgrace. 592 00:28:46,827 --> 00:28:48,028 None of my students will be 593 00:28:48,062 --> 00:28:49,230 able to buy in their lifetimes. 594 00:28:50,397 --> 00:28:51,865 And the sale of social housing 595 00:28:51,899 --> 00:28:53,100 has only increased the problem. 596 00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:55,903 Says the man who owns one of those apartments. 597 00:28:55,936 --> 00:28:57,771 Hmm! 598 00:29:01,909 --> 00:29:04,613 This is their way of getting me to change the subject. 599 00:29:34,643 --> 00:29:37,612 A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind. 600 00:29:37,646 --> 00:29:40,214 Sit anywhere you like. I won't be long. 601 00:30:03,672 --> 00:30:05,105 Hello! 602 00:30:05,139 --> 00:30:06,106 Hi! 603 00:30:06,140 --> 00:30:07,374 Who is it? 604 00:30:07,408 --> 00:30:08,643 It's me. 605 00:30:08,677 --> 00:30:11,278 You should say your name, not just hello. 606 00:30:11,312 --> 00:30:13,847 Don't know who it is or what you want, otherwise. 607 00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:15,916 You do like self-identifying, you hypocrite. 608 00:30:17,552 --> 00:30:19,219 Hello, it's me, your daughter, Hannah. 609 00:30:19,253 --> 00:30:21,589 That's it? Just a daughter? 610 00:30:21,623 --> 00:30:26,393 And a filmmaker and a mother and a woman. 611 00:30:26,427 --> 00:30:27,461 Is that better? 612 00:30:27,494 --> 00:30:28,896 Impressive. 613 00:30:30,164 --> 00:30:33,000 So Mirjam gave me her key today 614 00:30:33,033 --> 00:30:35,336 'cause someone didn't leave one behind for me. 615 00:30:35,369 --> 00:30:37,071 Who else has a key to the apartment? 616 00:30:37,104 --> 00:30:38,172 No-one. 617 00:30:38,205 --> 00:30:41,442 Like my body, my home is my temple. 618 00:30:41,475 --> 00:30:43,944 And what happens if you have another stroke? 619 00:30:43,977 --> 00:30:45,346 Oh, god. 620 00:30:45,379 --> 00:30:47,214 If I have another stroke, 621 00:30:47,247 --> 00:30:49,584 even if you're here, go out and have a coffee. 622 00:30:49,617 --> 00:30:50,918 Jimpa! 623 00:30:50,951 --> 00:30:52,353 No, I'm deadly serious. 624 00:30:52,386 --> 00:30:53,887 Let me die. 625 00:30:53,921 --> 00:30:56,156 A diminished life is no life for me at all. 626 00:30:56,190 --> 00:30:57,559 A diminished life? 627 00:30:57,592 --> 00:30:58,959 That's a little bit ableist, Jimpa. 628 00:31:00,260 --> 00:31:02,062 So, is that why no-one else has a key? 629 00:31:02,096 --> 00:31:03,464 Well, of course. 630 00:31:03,497 --> 00:31:04,566 No-one. 631 00:31:04,599 --> 00:31:06,333 That's everyone off the hook, then. 632 00:31:06,367 --> 00:31:09,069 No-one feels the need to check up on me. 633 00:31:09,103 --> 00:31:12,072 And if you keep calling and there's no answer, 634 00:31:12,106 --> 00:31:14,843 wait a week before you break the door down. 635 00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:16,210 I should be dead by then. 636 00:31:16,243 --> 00:31:18,212 Richard has a key. 637 00:31:18,245 --> 00:31:20,047 Oh, yes, Richard has a key. 638 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,882 And although my sister lives in another country, 639 00:31:21,915 --> 00:31:23,317 I bet she still has a key. 640 00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:24,719 Well, of course Emily has a key. 641 00:31:24,753 --> 00:31:25,886 She lived here for three years 642 00:31:25,919 --> 00:31:27,756 while she looked after me like an angel. 643 00:31:27,789 --> 00:31:29,022 I should have a key. 644 00:31:29,056 --> 00:31:30,859 You most certainly will need a key, 645 00:31:30,891 --> 00:31:32,126 if you're gonna live here. 646 00:31:32,159 --> 00:31:34,729 Have you talked about that, have you? 647 00:31:37,464 --> 00:31:41,001 Yeah, it was my idea, even before Frances mentioned it. 648 00:31:41,034 --> 00:31:42,436 I was thinking she needed... 649 00:31:42,469 --> 00:31:43,772 They, Jim. They. 650 00:31:43,805 --> 00:31:46,407 . ..they needed to get out of Adelaide 651 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,275 before it suffocates them. 652 00:31:48,308 --> 00:31:51,178 I love Adelaide, by the way, 653 00:31:51,211 --> 00:31:54,047 and I'm very glad you made something of yourself there 654 00:31:54,081 --> 00:31:55,382 when I wasn't able to. 655 00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:57,685 - Thank you. - Fucking miracle. 656 00:32:02,791 --> 00:32:05,426 Yeah, it's an idea that Frances just had. 657 00:32:05,459 --> 00:32:07,428 We haven't had a chance to talk about it much. 658 00:32:07,461 --> 00:32:09,396 Even the small part of Amsterdam 659 00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:11,633 that I saw with Jimpa today just felt so good. 660 00:32:11,666 --> 00:32:13,568 It feels like a proper city. 661 00:32:13,601 --> 00:32:16,103 Hm. The timing couldn't be more perfect. 662 00:32:16,136 --> 00:32:17,672 I... I think it's perfect. 663 00:32:17,705 --> 00:32:19,507 What do you think? 664 00:32:21,241 --> 00:32:23,043 I think Frances is too young. 665 00:32:23,076 --> 00:32:24,311 For what? 666 00:32:25,245 --> 00:32:28,048 Well, Harry doesn't mean 'too young' exactly. 667 00:32:29,049 --> 00:32:30,752 I think what Harry means is 668 00:32:30,785 --> 00:32:33,721 that you're a child for such a short amount of time 669 00:32:33,755 --> 00:32:36,891 and then there's so much life that happens afterwards. 670 00:32:36,925 --> 00:32:39,794 But that time as a young person, as a young family, 671 00:32:39,828 --> 00:32:42,029 is limited and then... 672 00:32:42,062 --> 00:32:44,833 . ..you know, then it's gone and you can't get it back. 673 00:32:46,534 --> 00:32:50,237 But also Amsterdam is full of people who've had to leave 674 00:32:50,270 --> 00:32:51,940 in order to survive 675 00:32:51,972 --> 00:32:54,975 or, you know, find who they are or... 676 00:32:55,008 --> 00:32:57,545 Like, you know, my own father, for instance. 677 00:32:57,579 --> 00:33:00,314 So who am I to say what... what a person needs? 678 00:33:03,952 --> 00:33:06,654 Are you making your pea and ham soup? 679 00:33:06,688 --> 00:33:08,088 Yeah. 680 00:33:08,121 --> 00:33:10,057 Yeah, for a little gathering we're having tomorrow. 681 00:33:10,090 --> 00:33:11,358 - Ham? - Yeah. 682 00:33:11,391 --> 00:33:13,260 Dad used to make it for me all the time. 683 00:33:13,293 --> 00:33:15,864 Don't worry, I'll make something for you vegans. 684 00:33:15,897 --> 00:33:17,498 Right, I'll make something for us. 685 00:34:39,179 --> 00:34:40,949 Dennis? 686 00:34:40,982 --> 00:34:43,518 I want you to meet my grand-thing, Frances. 687 00:34:43,551 --> 00:34:45,853 You two should sit down and talk. 688 00:34:45,887 --> 00:34:47,889 You know Dennis. We used to be together. 689 00:34:47,922 --> 00:34:49,023 Hi, Dennis. 690 00:34:49,057 --> 00:34:51,291 And your grandfather is a huge cunt. 691 00:34:53,061 --> 00:34:54,428 And now we're just good friends. 692 00:34:54,461 --> 00:34:56,263 Oh, the best, best friends. 693 00:34:56,296 --> 00:34:57,699 - Let's chat later, OK? - Please, yeah. 694 00:34:57,732 --> 00:34:59,499 - Great. - Uh, everyone! 695 00:34:59,534 --> 00:35:01,002 Everyone! 696 00:35:01,035 --> 00:35:05,339 If you haven't met my grand-thing, this is Frances. 697 00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:07,107 Hi, Frances! 698 00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:10,044 I want you to introduce yourself to them. 699 00:35:10,078 --> 00:35:12,981 Yes, Frances is one of those young people 700 00:35:13,014 --> 00:35:18,418 who... suddenly has no gender, for some reason. 701 00:35:18,452 --> 00:35:21,388 So please respect that. 702 00:35:21,421 --> 00:35:22,757 Uh, anyway, 703 00:35:22,790 --> 00:35:26,027 I know most of you might be aware that my life 704 00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:29,030 is going through a small transition right now. 705 00:35:29,063 --> 00:35:34,267 I am finishing up my work at the university. 706 00:35:34,301 --> 00:35:37,105 -No, no. Boo! -No, no, no, no. 707 00:35:37,137 --> 00:35:38,305 I know, I know. 708 00:35:38,338 --> 00:35:39,941 But it's time I moved on from... 709 00:35:39,974 --> 00:35:42,275 . ..some of you old farts anyway. 710 00:35:42,309 --> 00:35:43,845 But... but don't worry - 711 00:35:43,878 --> 00:35:47,615 I'm not ready to sit behind my geraniums just yet. 712 00:35:47,649 --> 00:35:51,019 In fact, I've just been on a call 713 00:35:51,052 --> 00:35:54,722 with a certain organisation in Helsinki 714 00:35:54,756 --> 00:35:56,658 about a job opportunity. 715 00:35:56,691 --> 00:36:01,062 Yes. That's in Finland, boys and girls. 716 00:36:01,095 --> 00:36:03,731 So I just wanted you all to be aware. 717 00:36:03,765 --> 00:36:05,265 They haven't made up their minds. 718 00:36:05,298 --> 00:36:07,467 I haven't made up my mind. 719 00:36:07,502 --> 00:36:10,104 But I want to acquaint you with the possibility... 720 00:36:18,046 --> 00:36:20,280 Ok, so... ok, what do i do? 721 00:36:20,313 --> 00:36:22,517 Keep your body still except for your arms. 722 00:36:22,550 --> 00:36:25,419 Uh-huh. OK, yeah. Like I said, the arms. 723 00:36:25,452 --> 00:36:27,021 -Arms. -And marching. 724 00:36:27,055 --> 00:36:29,389 Marching, marching. 725 00:36:29,423 --> 00:36:31,626 Make the arms, like, intentional. 726 00:36:31,659 --> 00:36:33,895 Tiny steps. Uh-huh. 727 00:36:33,928 --> 00:36:36,396 And... no. 728 00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:38,032 What? 729 00:36:38,066 --> 00:36:40,001 -It has intention. -OK, show me, show me. 730 00:36:40,034 --> 00:36:42,335 You don't have to go, like, fast all the time. 731 00:36:42,369 --> 00:36:46,140 You can go slow, slow. Slow, slow, slow. 732 00:36:47,141 --> 00:36:48,776 - Ba-ba-ba. - Hey! 733 00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:51,546 Soft. Soft. Soft. 734 00:36:51,579 --> 00:36:53,981 And...and do soft. 735 00:36:57,085 --> 00:36:58,452 Whoo-hoo! 736 00:37:21,075 --> 00:37:22,176 I knew it. 737 00:37:23,745 --> 00:37:24,779 Hmm. 738 00:37:24,812 --> 00:37:27,014 Leading Frances on like that. 739 00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:28,549 Oh? 740 00:37:28,583 --> 00:37:31,152 Encouraging the idea of them moving over 741 00:37:31,185 --> 00:37:33,054 and then the next minute saying 742 00:37:33,087 --> 00:37:35,189 you've got job opportunities in another country. 743 00:37:35,223 --> 00:37:37,390 When did you organise that? 744 00:37:37,424 --> 00:37:39,227 Mirjam hadn't said anything. 745 00:37:39,259 --> 00:37:41,394 Oh, you've seen Mirjam? 746 00:37:41,428 --> 00:37:43,030 Yeah, she's at the party now. 747 00:37:43,064 --> 00:37:44,198 Is she? 748 00:37:44,232 --> 00:37:45,432 Yeah. 749 00:37:45,465 --> 00:37:47,267 And she gave me her key yesterday, remember? 750 00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:49,637 Oh, yes. 751 00:37:49,670 --> 00:37:51,939 See, sometimes I don't know if you've lost your memory 752 00:37:51,973 --> 00:37:53,574 or you just don't care about these things. 753 00:37:54,876 --> 00:37:56,376 Come here. 754 00:37:57,979 --> 00:38:00,982 We haven't had nearly enough cuddles yet. 755 00:38:01,015 --> 00:38:02,950 OLDER Mmm! 756 00:38:06,687 --> 00:38:09,257 I'm sure it was just a passing fancy. 757 00:38:10,558 --> 00:38:12,593 The excitement of coming to see me. 758 00:38:14,629 --> 00:38:17,064 Are you taking a new job in a new country? 759 00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:20,400 Shouldn't I? 760 00:38:20,433 --> 00:38:22,469 Why don't you retire and just... 761 00:38:22,503 --> 00:38:23,738 And be an old man? 762 00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,940 -Water my geraniums? -Yeah, why not? 763 00:38:25,973 --> 00:38:27,809 Because there's so much to fight for. 764 00:38:27,842 --> 00:38:30,044 Because work is everything. 765 00:38:30,077 --> 00:38:31,546 Oh, it isn't everything. 766 00:38:31,579 --> 00:38:34,148 Oh, look who's talking. 767 00:38:35,850 --> 00:38:38,052 We need to feel useful, 768 00:38:38,085 --> 00:38:40,221 the two of us, hmm? 769 00:38:40,254 --> 00:38:41,454 Mmm. 770 00:38:41,488 --> 00:38:44,225 Mm-hm! Mademoiselle! 771 00:38:44,258 --> 00:38:45,960 Hmm. OK. 772 00:38:45,993 --> 00:38:48,029 But Professor Jim said to me that 773 00:38:48,062 --> 00:38:50,363 teenagers can't be into polyamory. 774 00:38:50,397 --> 00:38:51,899 They just like to cheat. 775 00:38:51,933 --> 00:38:54,135 Jim's never been monogamous in his life. 776 00:38:55,269 --> 00:38:57,138 Also, non-monogamous is so different 777 00:38:57,171 --> 00:38:58,172 from polyamorous. 778 00:38:58,206 --> 00:38:59,240 True. 779 00:38:59,273 --> 00:39:01,509 Well, I'm still working that out. 780 00:39:02,844 --> 00:39:05,179 We know, baby, we know. 781 00:39:05,213 --> 00:39:06,280 We know. 782 00:39:08,649 --> 00:39:10,218 I'm definitely into polyamory. 783 00:39:10,251 --> 00:39:12,086 I'm a big believer in compersion. 784 00:39:14,088 --> 00:39:16,257 Oh, my God! I love you. 785 00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:18,559 I love you too! 786 00:39:19,927 --> 00:39:22,630 So, what do we think? 787 00:39:22,663 --> 00:39:24,232 - Wow! - Cute! 788 00:39:24,265 --> 00:39:25,766 It looks cute on you. 789 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:26,934 -Oooh! -It's cute. 790 00:39:26,968 --> 00:39:28,401 Thank you. 791 00:39:28,435 --> 00:39:30,938 Frances certainly doesn't see you as useless. 792 00:39:30,972 --> 00:39:35,209 I thought you didn't want Frances to move over here. 793 00:39:35,243 --> 00:39:37,645 Well, it's not up to me to tell them what to do. 794 00:39:37,678 --> 00:39:38,946 I want to support Frances. 795 00:39:38,980 --> 00:39:40,214 Well, so do I. 796 00:39:43,251 --> 00:39:45,286 Ah! 797 00:39:48,589 --> 00:39:49,891 Hey, where are you? 798 00:39:49,924 --> 00:39:51,859 I'm standing in the hallway. 799 00:39:51,893 --> 00:39:53,227 OK. 800 00:39:53,261 --> 00:39:55,863 Um, can I go out with Isa? 801 00:39:55,897 --> 00:39:57,932 She's a friend of Richard, she's 19 802 00:39:57,965 --> 00:40:00,101 and she likes that I know about compersion. 803 00:40:00,134 --> 00:40:02,435 - What's compersion? - Compersion. 804 00:40:02,469 --> 00:40:04,171 It's taking pleasure in 805 00:40:04,205 --> 00:40:06,439 witnessing someone else's pleasure 806 00:40:06,473 --> 00:40:08,376 but not related to you. 807 00:40:08,408 --> 00:40:10,477 It's a polyamory thing. 808 00:40:10,511 --> 00:40:11,779 OK. 809 00:40:11,812 --> 00:40:14,548 'OK' I can go out with Isa, 'OK'? 810 00:40:14,582 --> 00:40:16,050 She's 19. 811 00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:17,318 Well, does Richard have 812 00:40:17,351 --> 00:40:19,020 this 19-year-old Isa's phone number? 813 00:40:19,053 --> 00:40:20,420 I got her number. 814 00:40:20,453 --> 00:40:22,924 -She's spunky, Hannah. -Spunky? Ugh. 815 00:40:24,091 --> 00:40:25,425 Have fun, Frances, 816 00:40:25,458 --> 00:40:27,595 and don't come back till you've got a story to tell. 817 00:40:27,628 --> 00:40:29,462 Thank you, Jimpa. 818 00:40:31,899 --> 00:40:33,267 She's hot. 819 00:40:34,502 --> 00:40:35,836 And smart. 820 00:40:37,004 --> 00:40:38,673 And very nice. 821 00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,343 You set this up. 822 00:40:42,376 --> 00:40:44,211 Frances is 16! 823 00:40:44,245 --> 00:40:46,180 I remember you at 16. 824 00:40:46,213 --> 00:40:47,682 Yeah, but you do realise 825 00:40:47,715 --> 00:40:48,983 Frances has no experience whatsoever? 826 00:40:49,016 --> 00:40:50,483 Really? 827 00:40:50,518 --> 00:40:52,520 Yeah, it's like they know the lyrics to the song 828 00:40:52,553 --> 00:40:54,021 but they've never sung it out loud. 829 00:40:55,056 --> 00:40:57,091 You don't know if you can sing 830 00:40:57,124 --> 00:40:58,893 until you sing. 831 00:41:00,061 --> 00:41:01,429 Hmm. 832 00:41:02,396 --> 00:41:04,265 Are you ready to see Amsterdam? 833 00:41:04,298 --> 00:41:06,067 Yeah! 834 00:41:11,806 --> 00:41:15,209 Here you can go... I think it's open 24 hours, so... 835 00:41:27,221 --> 00:41:28,589 You don't sing? 836 00:41:28,622 --> 00:41:30,257 Oh, no, I love to sing. 837 00:41:30,291 --> 00:41:31,859 You're cute. 838 00:41:33,394 --> 00:41:35,029 To the lesbian bar! 839 00:41:35,062 --> 00:41:36,530 Yes, let's go! 840 00:41:38,232 --> 00:41:39,967 I'm definitely not a woman, 841 00:41:40,001 --> 00:41:41,602 but I'm still into women. 842 00:41:41,635 --> 00:41:43,304 Is it OK that I'm here? 843 00:41:45,373 --> 00:41:47,241 -Roosje. -Mmm? 844 00:41:47,274 --> 00:41:48,442 This is Frances. 845 00:41:48,476 --> 00:41:50,311 They're non-binary. Are they welcome here? 846 00:41:50,344 --> 00:41:52,346 -Oh, fuck, yes. -Yes. 847 00:41:52,380 --> 00:41:54,315 - Cheers! - Ah, ja, ja, ja. 848 00:41:54,348 --> 00:41:56,517 She knows her shit. 849 00:41:58,853 --> 00:42:02,356 So you and Bis are... something? 850 00:42:04,125 --> 00:42:06,394 We've been together since high school. 851 00:42:08,496 --> 00:42:10,364 Since before he transitioned. 852 00:42:10,398 --> 00:42:13,134 And I like his new, uh, qualities. 853 00:42:13,167 --> 00:42:14,335 His more masc energy. 854 00:42:14,368 --> 00:42:16,804 What? 855 00:42:18,005 --> 00:42:19,273 And... and you two are... 856 00:42:19,306 --> 00:42:20,708 are monogamous or... 857 00:42:25,079 --> 00:42:26,781 That's what's great about being queer, right? 858 00:42:26,814 --> 00:42:28,649 How we state things - 859 00:42:28,682 --> 00:42:30,584 by what our boundaries are, 860 00:42:30,618 --> 00:42:32,019 by what we want. 861 00:42:33,087 --> 00:42:34,355 Yeah. 862 00:42:34,388 --> 00:42:36,557 I want you, Isa. 863 00:42:36,590 --> 00:42:37,992 Exactly. 864 00:42:39,460 --> 00:42:40,728 For example. 865 00:42:42,129 --> 00:42:43,264 Exactly. 866 00:42:43,297 --> 00:42:44,799 Right. 867 00:42:50,438 --> 00:42:52,306 You're still cleaning up! 868 00:42:52,339 --> 00:42:54,509 You're still cleaning up too. 869 00:43:04,952 --> 00:43:07,221 You didn't want to go out with the others? 870 00:43:08,289 --> 00:43:09,524 Not really. 871 00:43:09,558 --> 00:43:10,925 You? 872 00:43:12,059 --> 00:43:13,060 No. 873 00:43:13,094 --> 00:43:15,029 Well, 874 00:43:15,062 --> 00:43:17,765 if you're gonna stay up like an anxious mother... 875 00:43:18,999 --> 00:43:20,267 . ..you can have another drink. 876 00:43:21,503 --> 00:43:23,137 'Anxious mother' sounds old. 877 00:43:23,170 --> 00:43:24,738 Not old. 878 00:43:24,772 --> 00:43:26,140 Older. 879 00:43:26,173 --> 00:43:28,876 Aren't you, like, 10 years older than me? 880 00:43:28,909 --> 00:43:30,344 -12. -Nothing! 881 00:43:52,633 --> 00:43:54,468 No lovers waiting for you, then? 882 00:43:58,339 --> 00:44:00,274 Just a few boys here and there. 883 00:44:19,727 --> 00:44:21,395 How about you sing me a song? 884 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,867 What? 885 00:44:28,035 --> 00:44:29,170 Come on! 886 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:32,706 Please. 887 00:46:12,707 --> 00:46:15,644 What do you know about compersion? 888 00:46:21,081 --> 00:46:23,250 It's the opposite to jealousy. 889 00:46:24,619 --> 00:46:26,588 It's a polyamory thing. 890 00:46:28,389 --> 00:46:30,124 How do you know about it? 891 00:46:33,794 --> 00:46:35,796 It's just wanting someone you love 892 00:46:35,829 --> 00:46:37,599 to be happy and fulfilled. 893 00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:40,834 It's a nice idea. 894 00:47:16,937 --> 00:47:18,872 Were you pretending to sleep? 895 00:47:20,542 --> 00:47:22,744 No, I think I was trying to sleep. 896 00:47:25,212 --> 00:47:26,514 Did you have fun? 897 00:47:29,083 --> 00:47:31,185 -I had the best time, Mum. -Oh! 898 00:47:31,218 --> 00:47:33,555 Yay, I'm so glad. 899 00:47:34,723 --> 00:47:36,223 So you liked Isa? 900 00:47:37,458 --> 00:47:39,059 I'm in love. 901 00:47:43,765 --> 00:47:45,533 Guys. 902 00:47:45,567 --> 00:47:47,267 But I'm in love, Dad. 903 00:47:47,301 --> 00:47:49,269 - Yeah, great. - Oh! 904 00:47:49,303 --> 00:47:52,774 Oh, don't! 905 00:47:59,346 --> 00:48:00,648 - There you go. - Thank you. 906 00:48:00,682 --> 00:48:01,850 Tell us about your film. 907 00:48:01,882 --> 00:48:03,484 Thank you, Matti. Hot, I hope. 908 00:48:03,518 --> 00:48:05,687 It's impossible for it to be any hotter, Jim. 909 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:07,354 Yes, you haven't told us about your film yet. 910 00:48:07,388 --> 00:48:09,089 I'm just trying to cast it right now. 911 00:48:09,123 --> 00:48:11,959 Why don't you just put your mouth under the machine, Jim? 912 00:48:11,992 --> 00:48:13,927 Your film? 913 00:48:13,961 --> 00:48:16,531 Hannah hasn't told me a thing about it. She's avoiding it. 914 00:48:16,564 --> 00:48:17,565 Why? 915 00:48:17,599 --> 00:48:19,400 So she's bisexual? 916 00:48:19,433 --> 00:48:20,502 Who? 917 00:48:20,535 --> 00:48:21,770 Isa, the student. 918 00:48:21,803 --> 00:48:24,405 There's no such thing as bisexuality. 919 00:48:24,438 --> 00:48:26,974 - Oh! - OK, maybe tone it down a bit. 920 00:48:27,007 --> 00:48:28,475 Tone what down? 921 00:48:28,510 --> 00:48:30,712 What? I'm just trying to talk about these things openly. 922 00:48:30,745 --> 00:48:32,346 Are you sure you talking openly 923 00:48:32,379 --> 00:48:34,716 isn't just you wanting to express your opinion? 924 00:48:34,749 --> 00:48:36,718 So, what is a conversation 925 00:48:36,751 --> 00:48:38,385 except a collision of opinions? 926 00:48:38,419 --> 00:48:41,523 Uh, a conversation can also be working towards agreement. 927 00:48:41,556 --> 00:48:43,490 Says the only straight person at the table. 928 00:48:44,592 --> 00:48:46,226 Yeah, but, you know, it's more complex 929 00:48:46,260 --> 00:48:47,862 than you are making it out to be 930 00:48:47,896 --> 00:48:49,898 because you have actually been in love with women. 931 00:48:50,931 --> 00:48:52,567 My mother, for instance. 932 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:53,902 Is... 933 00:48:53,934 --> 00:48:55,670 Is that what your film is about? 934 00:48:55,703 --> 00:48:57,806 About what? 935 00:48:57,839 --> 00:48:59,774 Me and your mother? 936 00:48:59,808 --> 00:49:00,909 Not exactly. 937 00:49:05,379 --> 00:49:08,683 If you say you're bi, you're just confused. 938 00:49:08,716 --> 00:49:10,718 If you're attracted to the same sex, you're gay. 939 00:49:10,752 --> 00:49:12,019 It's as simple as that. 940 00:49:12,052 --> 00:49:13,888 If you say otherwise, you're in denial. 941 00:49:13,922 --> 00:49:16,558 - Here we go. - I never said Isa was bi. 942 00:49:16,591 --> 00:49:18,726 You know how many men have said to me 943 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,228 that they're straight while sucking my cock? 944 00:49:21,261 --> 00:49:24,097 You can't be straight with a dash of gayness. 945 00:49:24,131 --> 00:49:26,033 He's just being provocative for the sake of it. 946 00:49:26,066 --> 00:49:27,067 - Mmm. - Ignore him. 947 00:49:27,100 --> 00:49:28,603 No, I once heard someone say 948 00:49:28,636 --> 00:49:30,304 that they're 'mostly straight'. 949 00:49:30,337 --> 00:49:32,105 Now, what the hell does that mean? 950 00:49:32,139 --> 00:49:33,775 They're just cowards. 951 00:49:33,808 --> 00:49:37,044 So, Isa's a lesbian. What's wrong with that? 952 00:49:37,077 --> 00:49:38,178 Well, it's not useful... 953 00:49:38,212 --> 00:49:39,514 "Not useful"? 954 00:49:39,547 --> 00:49:41,916 Dad, maybe just let Frances speak. 955 00:49:42,917 --> 00:49:44,151 Well, you know... 956 00:49:44,184 --> 00:49:45,753 Are you worried that Frances has had sex 957 00:49:45,787 --> 00:49:47,922 with a 19-year-old lesbian? 958 00:49:47,956 --> 00:49:50,123 -Uh, I haven't had sex. -I'm not worried. 959 00:49:50,157 --> 00:49:52,025 And don't put words in my mouth. 960 00:49:52,059 --> 00:49:53,528 I'm not. 961 00:49:55,162 --> 00:49:57,297 It's fine if that's what they want. 962 00:49:57,331 --> 00:49:59,968 And by 'they', do you mean plural or singular? 963 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,971 Because only one of them is a consenting adult, 964 00:50:03,003 --> 00:50:05,940 so only one of they is able to consent. 965 00:50:05,974 --> 00:50:07,909 And I think that's the lesbian. 966 00:50:07,942 --> 00:50:10,678 It's not my place to tell Frances what to do. 967 00:50:10,712 --> 00:50:11,946 Well, that's nonsense. 968 00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:13,882 I tell you what to do all the time 969 00:50:13,915 --> 00:50:16,350 and whether or not you wanna do it is up to you. 970 00:50:16,383 --> 00:50:18,218 So, about this lesbian. 971 00:50:18,252 --> 00:50:19,888 She's not a lesbian. She's queer. 972 00:50:19,921 --> 00:50:22,222 Shhh! 973 00:50:22,256 --> 00:50:24,859 -See? There's that word again. -What, queer? 974 00:50:24,893 --> 00:50:27,027 -Queer. -Here we go. 975 00:50:27,060 --> 00:50:28,563 This is the exact same conversation 976 00:50:28,596 --> 00:50:30,532 we've been having for the past 30 years. 977 00:50:33,001 --> 00:50:35,235 Dear, you might be queer. 978 00:50:35,269 --> 00:50:36,804 - But I'm gay. - Yes. 979 00:50:36,838 --> 00:50:40,140 And I've spent my whole life fighting for it 980 00:50:40,173 --> 00:50:44,444 as... as a visible, gay, HIV-positive man. 981 00:50:44,478 --> 00:50:46,213 Because someone had to. 982 00:50:46,246 --> 00:50:48,448 -We all have. -Yeah, we all have. 983 00:50:48,482 --> 00:50:50,050 - I understand that, but... - Yeah, that's true. 984 00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,385 We haven't lived through that. 985 00:50:51,418 --> 00:50:52,854 Mum. 986 00:50:52,887 --> 00:50:54,556 I think what Dad's trying to say is... 987 00:50:54,589 --> 00:50:56,323 No, no, what I'm trying to say is 988 00:50:56,356 --> 00:50:57,859 if Frances wants to fuck 989 00:50:57,892 --> 00:51:00,294 a hot 19-year-old who calls themselves 990 00:51:00,327 --> 00:51:03,130 Greenpeace Rainbow Warrior Princess, 991 00:51:03,163 --> 00:51:04,298 they can do it, 992 00:51:04,331 --> 00:51:06,199 but calling everyone bisexual 993 00:51:06,233 --> 00:51:09,269 negates the rights that I have demanded and fought for. 994 00:51:09,303 --> 00:51:11,104 Yes, it's like we had to fight 995 00:51:11,138 --> 00:51:12,306 so hard for same-sex rights - 996 00:51:12,339 --> 00:51:13,975 things Frances doesn't have to deal with. 997 00:51:14,008 --> 00:51:16,544 But that's a good thing, isn't it? 998 00:51:21,549 --> 00:51:22,750 Hey. 999 00:51:23,718 --> 00:51:25,352 Hey! 1000 00:51:25,385 --> 00:51:26,854 You know, walking out like that 1001 00:51:26,888 --> 00:51:29,089 could be seen as quite hostile. 1002 00:51:30,390 --> 00:51:32,894 Don't be too disappointed. They're all still hurting. 1003 00:51:32,927 --> 00:51:35,630 Oh, by 'they', do you mean singular or plural? 1004 00:51:35,663 --> 00:51:37,632 'Cause you're just being wilfully confusing. 1005 00:51:37,665 --> 00:51:39,067 I know. 1006 00:51:40,635 --> 00:51:41,769 Jimpa is... 1007 00:51:41,803 --> 00:51:42,837 He's so determined 1008 00:51:42,870 --> 00:51:44,572 to say that Isa has to be a lesbian. 1009 00:51:44,606 --> 00:51:47,441 But for him, 'lesbian' means attracted to women, right? 1010 00:51:47,474 --> 00:51:49,476 And I'm not a woman, Mum. 1011 00:51:49,510 --> 00:51:51,345 Then why didn't you point that out to Jimpa? 1012 00:51:51,378 --> 00:51:53,146 Do you know how much easier it is 1013 00:51:53,180 --> 00:51:54,849 for you to do it than for me? 1014 00:51:54,882 --> 00:51:56,350 Do what? 1015 00:51:57,885 --> 00:51:59,787 To stand up for me. 1016 00:52:00,788 --> 00:52:02,757 You don't think I stand up for you? 1017 00:52:04,424 --> 00:52:06,594 Well, this is what he's like. 1018 00:52:06,628 --> 00:52:08,261 How are you gonna do this when I'm not here? 1019 00:52:12,767 --> 00:52:14,702 -It's Isa. -Go ahead, answer it. 1020 00:52:17,705 --> 00:52:18,973 Oh, hi there. 1021 00:52:19,007 --> 00:52:21,643 Where are you and what are you doing? 1022 00:52:22,877 --> 00:52:25,880 Oh, nowhere interesting. Doing nothing much. 1023 00:52:25,913 --> 00:52:29,717 I doubt that, but I was wondering 1024 00:52:29,751 --> 00:52:31,786 if you wanted to go for a ride with me. 1025 00:52:33,021 --> 00:52:36,057 If you need to ask your mom or Jim, that's cool. 1026 00:52:36,090 --> 00:52:37,825 No, I don't need to do that. 1027 00:52:59,379 --> 00:53:01,381 Australians are afraid of the sun. 1028 00:53:09,222 --> 00:53:10,692 What's over there? 1029 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:14,227 - There? - Mmm. 1030 00:53:15,228 --> 00:53:18,432 It's a big cruising spot. 24/7. 1031 00:53:18,465 --> 00:53:20,902 Oh, is that why you brought me here? 1032 00:53:20,935 --> 00:53:22,970 Do you want to go take a look? 1033 00:53:24,304 --> 00:53:25,640 Uh... 1034 00:53:30,343 --> 00:53:31,913 Did you wanna talk anything through? 1035 00:53:33,981 --> 00:53:36,117 I think I'm a bit sick of talking. 1036 00:53:36,150 --> 00:53:37,518 Is that ok? 1037 00:53:38,619 --> 00:53:39,687 Of course. 1038 00:56:53,381 --> 00:56:55,149 No, I tried that. 1039 00:56:55,182 --> 00:56:56,617 It's not working. 1040 00:56:56,651 --> 00:56:58,019 It says I have two more attempts 1041 00:56:58,052 --> 00:56:59,353 before it locks me out. 1042 00:57:14,467 --> 00:57:16,337 My grand-thing 1043 00:57:16,370 --> 00:57:18,506 has done a grand thing. 1044 00:57:20,541 --> 00:57:21,976 Let's celebrate. 1045 00:57:30,184 --> 00:57:31,352 Hmm? 1046 00:57:36,757 --> 00:57:38,426 Are you gonna tell Hannah? 1047 00:57:39,427 --> 00:57:40,795 You don't think I should? 1048 00:57:44,732 --> 00:57:47,902 I think sex is simpler for her. 1049 00:57:47,935 --> 00:57:49,036 Mmm. 1050 00:57:50,037 --> 00:57:51,806 I feel sorry for straight women. 1051 00:57:51,839 --> 00:57:53,274 Having to lie there, 1052 00:57:53,307 --> 00:57:55,710 people assuming you just want to be fucked. 1053 00:57:55,743 --> 00:57:57,645 No-one talks about it. 1054 00:57:57,678 --> 00:58:00,381 They just do what's expected. 1055 00:58:02,249 --> 00:58:04,018 The benefits of who we are 1056 00:58:04,051 --> 00:58:07,922 is you can't assume anything about anyone. 1057 00:58:07,955 --> 00:58:10,358 You always have to ask for what they want. 1058 00:58:10,391 --> 00:58:12,693 State what you want. 1059 00:58:12,727 --> 00:58:14,628 Consent's sexy. 1060 00:58:14,662 --> 00:58:16,330 Understanding what someone wants. 1061 00:58:17,565 --> 00:58:19,200 Sure, as long as it's not like 1062 00:58:19,233 --> 00:58:21,235 instructions for a washing machine. 1063 00:58:31,078 --> 00:58:34,081 Has Mum talked to you about me staying in Amsterdam? 1064 00:58:35,516 --> 00:58:37,051 Your parents love you. 1065 00:58:37,084 --> 00:58:39,053 You're very supported by them. 1066 00:58:40,354 --> 00:58:41,489 And? 1067 00:58:41,522 --> 00:58:44,091 And it sounds like schools in Australia 1068 00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:45,459 are much better now. 1069 00:58:47,828 --> 00:58:49,363 School's fine. 1070 00:58:49,397 --> 00:58:51,999 It's not like I'm... I'm getting beaten up or anything. 1071 00:58:53,234 --> 00:58:57,204 I'm not scared exactly, just not... 1072 00:58:59,106 --> 00:59:00,374 . ..connecting. 1073 00:59:01,809 --> 00:59:04,545 I'm tired of the feeling that I'm somehow 1074 00:59:04,578 --> 00:59:06,614 rubbing my queerness in everyone's face. 1075 00:59:06,647 --> 00:59:07,882 Hmm. 1076 00:59:10,918 --> 00:59:12,586 That might never stop. 1077 00:59:14,188 --> 00:59:17,091 But it will never stop us. 1078 00:59:19,427 --> 00:59:25,199 You're the president of an LGBT club at school. 1079 00:59:25,232 --> 00:59:27,668 So it... it can't be so bad. 1080 00:59:30,304 --> 00:59:33,040 Maybe you don't need to leave your family just yet. 1081 00:59:35,443 --> 00:59:37,611 But you had to leave your family. 1082 00:59:37,645 --> 00:59:39,680 No, I didn't have to. 1083 00:59:39,713 --> 00:59:41,115 I wanted to. 1084 00:59:41,148 --> 00:59:42,383 What do you mean? 1085 00:59:43,552 --> 00:59:46,387 Katherine offered to move with me with the children. 1086 00:59:47,455 --> 00:59:49,957 I decided to come to Amsterdam on my own. 1087 00:59:51,759 --> 00:59:53,694 Does Mum know this? 1088 00:59:53,727 --> 00:59:55,196 I'm not sure. 1089 00:59:55,229 --> 00:59:56,664 What does your grandma say? 1090 00:59:57,965 --> 01:00:00,569 That she thought it best that they stayed in Adelaide. 1091 01:00:00,601 --> 01:00:03,604 For Hannah's sake. She was only 13. 1092 01:00:03,637 --> 01:00:05,339 That's a lie. 1093 01:00:05,372 --> 01:00:08,409 Most of the people who left home, 1094 01:00:08,442 --> 01:00:10,811 their families and came here, 1095 01:00:10,845 --> 01:00:12,680 they did so because they had to. 1096 01:00:12,713 --> 01:00:14,014 Mmm. 1097 01:00:14,048 --> 01:00:17,084 It was a matter of survival, of having a future. 1098 01:00:17,118 --> 01:00:18,686 But not me. 1099 01:00:20,054 --> 01:00:21,956 I was purely selfish. 1100 01:00:26,427 --> 01:00:27,628 Go on. 1101 01:00:28,796 --> 01:00:30,231 It'll do you good. 1102 01:00:34,635 --> 01:00:38,205 Did you... connect with Isa? 1103 01:00:40,307 --> 01:00:42,710 Did you understand what Isa wanted? 1104 01:00:45,212 --> 01:00:46,780 Not at all. 1105 01:00:46,814 --> 01:00:48,682 I forgot to ask. 1106 01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:56,056 Nothing fit into my idea of things. 1107 01:00:56,090 --> 01:00:58,392 I don't even know what I liked. 1108 01:01:00,094 --> 01:01:02,229 I just thought things would be clearer. 1109 01:01:23,384 --> 01:01:24,885 Hello? 1110 01:01:24,919 --> 01:01:26,220 Oh, hi. 1111 01:01:26,253 --> 01:01:28,255 Nice to meet you, Tilda. 1112 01:01:28,289 --> 01:01:31,759 I don't want to play her as too passive. 1113 01:01:31,792 --> 01:01:34,596 But she does seem to sacrifice her needs and wants 1114 01:01:34,629 --> 01:01:36,063 for the sake of her husband. 1115 01:01:36,096 --> 01:01:37,532 Mmm. 1116 01:01:37,566 --> 01:01:39,133 Yeah, you could say that. 1117 01:01:39,166 --> 01:01:40,502 Because even though he's gay, 1118 01:01:40,535 --> 01:01:41,670 I mean, it's still the man 1119 01:01:41,702 --> 01:01:43,137 who gets to go and explore himself 1120 01:01:43,170 --> 01:01:44,539 while the woman stays at home. 1121 01:01:44,573 --> 01:01:46,473 Yeah, you could say that too. 1122 01:01:46,508 --> 01:01:48,142 I mean, and it's still the man that, 1123 01:01:48,175 --> 01:01:50,978 you know, doesn't actively look after his children. 1124 01:01:51,011 --> 01:01:52,713 Which is... I mean, that's probably 1125 01:01:52,746 --> 01:01:54,048 the reality for many. 1126 01:01:54,081 --> 01:01:56,518 Right? I mean, especially in that time. 1127 01:01:56,551 --> 01:01:59,019 I just thought that might not be how you want to... 1128 01:01:59,053 --> 01:02:01,255 ...portray him. 1129 01:02:01,288 --> 01:02:03,157 Or her. 1130 01:02:03,190 --> 01:02:05,426 All... all those, uh, thoughts 1131 01:02:05,459 --> 01:02:07,394 are really interesting, um... 1132 01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,035 -Was that about your film? -Yes. 1133 01:02:17,438 --> 01:02:18,906 Have you made up with Frances? 1134 01:02:18,939 --> 01:02:21,342 I didn't think I needed to. 1135 01:02:22,409 --> 01:02:24,778 You do know it's actually OK 1136 01:02:24,812 --> 01:02:27,848 to disagree and say hurtful things to someone? 1137 01:02:28,816 --> 01:02:30,384 You didn't have to push so hard. 1138 01:02:31,586 --> 01:02:33,921 Is this about the fact that Frances had sex? 1139 01:02:36,457 --> 01:02:38,058 Oh. You didn't know. 1140 01:02:38,092 --> 01:02:39,728 How could I know? 1141 01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:43,897 I'm sure Frances will tell you all the details in no time. 1142 01:02:44,965 --> 01:02:46,300 Don't worry. 1143 01:02:47,569 --> 01:02:50,204 They've got more of a head start than I ever had. 1144 01:02:52,006 --> 01:02:54,475 When I was Frances's age, 1145 01:02:54,509 --> 01:02:57,579 I didn't even have the word to describe the way I... 1146 01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:01,549 I know, Dad. 1147 01:03:03,183 --> 01:03:06,086 But Frances has all the words. 1148 01:03:07,522 --> 01:03:10,190 Frances will be fine. 1149 01:03:10,224 --> 01:03:12,326 They can... 1150 01:03:12,359 --> 01:03:14,962 . ..idolise me from afar. 1151 01:03:14,995 --> 01:03:16,631 That's just the way I like it. 1152 01:03:19,501 --> 01:03:21,636 So you're still going for the Helsinki job? 1153 01:03:21,670 --> 01:03:23,772 Oh, you don't think I should? 1154 01:03:25,272 --> 01:03:26,508 What are we cooking? 1155 01:03:26,541 --> 01:03:28,275 My osso buco. 1156 01:03:29,977 --> 01:03:31,746 I might make something for us. 1157 01:03:34,649 --> 01:03:36,651 Oh, fuck! 1158 01:03:36,685 --> 01:03:38,419 -Let me see. -No, no. 1159 01:03:38,452 --> 01:03:40,387 I'm fine. Fuck. 1160 01:03:40,421 --> 01:03:42,056 Is it deep? Does it need stitches? 1161 01:03:42,089 --> 01:03:43,991 -No, no, I'm fine. -Dad? 1162 01:03:44,024 --> 01:03:46,360 I don't need a fucking hospital! Oh! 1163 01:03:46,393 --> 01:03:47,961 Easy. 1164 01:03:47,995 --> 01:03:50,632 Just lean here. 1165 01:03:52,099 --> 01:03:53,434 Hold it. 1166 01:03:59,708 --> 01:04:00,974 Hmm. 1167 01:04:01,008 --> 01:04:03,043 Tell me about your film. 1168 01:04:04,546 --> 01:04:05,814 Uh... 1169 01:04:05,846 --> 01:04:08,449 It's about a couple. 1170 01:04:08,482 --> 01:04:11,418 It's about commitment 1171 01:04:11,452 --> 01:04:14,388 and our contradictory feelings about it. 1172 01:04:14,421 --> 01:04:17,358 Well, my feelings about it. And, um... 1173 01:04:19,728 --> 01:04:21,663 . ..I don't think people are getting it. 1174 01:04:22,996 --> 01:04:24,164 Hmm. 1175 01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:27,602 Do you remember Stephen? 1176 01:04:31,038 --> 01:04:32,973 Oh, I loved him so much. 1177 01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,876 So did Frances. 1178 01:04:35,909 --> 01:04:37,846 Yeah. So did I. 1179 01:04:39,246 --> 01:04:42,049 But he was a fervent monogamist, poor thing. 1180 01:04:42,082 --> 01:04:43,951 Didn't you tell him what you wanted? 1181 01:04:43,984 --> 01:04:46,019 Yes, and he agreed. 1182 01:04:47,087 --> 01:04:48,590 At first. 1183 01:04:48,623 --> 01:04:50,491 Until he didn't. 1184 01:04:50,525 --> 01:04:52,393 And you didn't change. 1185 01:04:52,426 --> 01:04:54,495 I don't believe in monogamy, dearest. 1186 01:04:56,897 --> 01:04:58,499 Oh, he was so lovely. 1187 01:05:00,934 --> 01:05:02,970 You don't believe in monogamy either. 1188 01:05:05,973 --> 01:05:07,975 But I also know how great it can be. 1189 01:05:08,976 --> 01:05:11,145 Constancy. Loyalty. 1190 01:05:11,178 --> 01:05:14,181 Sounds like you're talking about a dog. Hmm! 1191 01:05:14,214 --> 01:05:16,383 How is the dog anyway? 1192 01:05:16,417 --> 01:05:18,919 Oh! I need to call Mum. 1193 01:05:24,692 --> 01:05:26,460 I'm not very open. 1194 01:05:27,461 --> 01:05:30,632 No. I guess not. 1195 01:05:42,042 --> 01:05:43,377 Are you awake? 1196 01:05:49,216 --> 01:05:50,785 Are you not hungry? 1197 01:05:52,352 --> 01:05:53,987 I was thinking you should stay here 1198 01:05:54,021 --> 01:05:55,289 while I go to London. 1199 01:05:56,925 --> 01:05:58,058 Why? 1200 01:05:58,091 --> 01:05:59,293 I don't know, just... 1201 01:05:59,326 --> 01:06:01,462 . ..gives you the chance to soak up Amsterdam. 1202 01:06:03,263 --> 01:06:05,733 Sounds like you had a really good time with Isa. 1203 01:06:07,802 --> 01:06:09,704 I was... I was going to tell you. 1204 01:06:10,672 --> 01:06:12,372 It's OK, Frances. It's fine. 1205 01:06:14,876 --> 01:06:16,511 OK. 1206 01:06:20,715 --> 01:06:22,784 I'm excited for you. It's a big thing. 1207 01:06:46,473 --> 01:06:48,308 Jim Hill in Helsinki. 1208 01:06:48,342 --> 01:06:50,310 Jani! How are you? 1209 01:06:51,513 --> 01:06:53,380 You... you got the study I sent you? 1210 01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:55,650 Yeah, yeah, of course. Fascinating stuff. 1211 01:06:55,683 --> 01:06:58,385 Nothing gets my heart racing like social housing theory. 1212 01:06:58,418 --> 01:06:59,654 I mean it, Jim. 1213 01:06:59,687 --> 01:07:01,556 -It's good to see you. -You too. 1214 01:07:07,427 --> 01:07:10,430 So this is still a huge focus for me. 1215 01:07:10,464 --> 01:07:14,636 Building scientific capacities for community groups. 1216 01:07:14,669 --> 01:07:17,170 I remember you raised this even all the way back 1217 01:07:17,204 --> 01:07:20,975 at the CDC symposium at AIDS 2018. 1218 01:07:21,009 --> 01:07:23,811 It was in my plenary talk, the one I gave at the IAS. 1219 01:07:23,845 --> 01:07:25,112 2019. 1220 01:07:25,145 --> 01:07:26,781 We can't keep up. 1221 01:07:26,814 --> 01:07:28,783 Oh. You were there, Karolina. 1222 01:07:28,816 --> 01:07:31,853 I was, I was, but I still couldn't keep up! 1223 01:07:36,223 --> 01:07:37,291 So... 1224 01:07:38,458 --> 01:07:40,227 . ..is this an area that you'd like 1225 01:07:40,260 --> 01:07:42,329 someone in this new position to focus on? 1226 01:07:44,933 --> 01:07:46,701 We were very excited 1227 01:07:46,734 --> 01:07:48,636 when you called to say you'd be in town 1228 01:07:48,670 --> 01:07:50,939 and wanted to talk about the position. 1229 01:07:50,972 --> 01:07:53,575 It's such an honour, personally speaking. 1230 01:07:53,608 --> 01:07:55,977 Of course we jumped on the opportunity to meet up. 1231 01:07:56,010 --> 01:07:58,478 We would be honored to access someone 1232 01:07:58,513 --> 01:08:00,048 with your knowledge and experience. 1233 01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,348 Yes. 1234 01:08:01,381 --> 01:08:04,384 We were talking that maybe we can even 1235 01:08:04,418 --> 01:08:08,056 formalise something in an advisory capacity 1236 01:08:08,088 --> 01:08:12,560 or a board position, when they come up in three years. 1237 01:08:12,594 --> 01:08:14,829 Mmm. Yeah. 1238 01:08:17,832 --> 01:08:19,534 While you're here in Helsinki, 1239 01:08:19,567 --> 01:08:21,736 I was hoping to take you out for lunch or dinner. 1240 01:08:21,769 --> 01:08:24,471 And why would you want to do that? 1241 01:08:24,505 --> 01:08:27,942 Well, we were very impressed by Mirjam Oerlemans. 1242 01:08:27,976 --> 01:08:29,276 Mirjam? 1243 01:08:29,309 --> 01:08:32,947 She's young, but her advocacy for equality care 1244 01:08:32,981 --> 01:08:36,718 aligns really well with some of our new impact areas. 1245 01:08:36,751 --> 01:08:39,020 You've been a kind of mentor to her for years. 1246 01:08:39,053 --> 01:08:40,220 10 years. 1247 01:08:41,923 --> 01:08:44,058 And you're considering her for this new... 1248 01:08:44,092 --> 01:08:45,793 Hence my clumsy invite to dinner. 1249 01:08:47,662 --> 01:08:50,197 You want my opinion on Mirjam Oerlemans? 1250 01:08:50,230 --> 01:08:52,667 Well, you're her reference. 1251 01:08:53,668 --> 01:08:55,770 But we respect your opinion. 1252 01:08:55,803 --> 01:08:58,238 Your honesty especially, it's legendary. 1253 01:08:58,271 --> 01:09:00,407 I wish we could do dinner, but... 1254 01:09:00,440 --> 01:09:05,046 . ..I came without a bag, and I... I have work back home. 1255 01:09:06,380 --> 01:09:10,183 But you don't need dinner for me to tell you Mirjam... 1256 01:09:12,553 --> 01:09:14,354 . ..would be perfect. 1257 01:09:14,388 --> 01:09:17,058 She's pragmatic. Evidence-based. 1258 01:09:17,091 --> 01:09:20,193 Her success is focusing on young people 1259 01:09:20,227 --> 01:09:21,896 and marginalised groups. 1260 01:09:21,929 --> 01:09:24,364 Her stellar rights-based approach 1261 01:09:24,398 --> 01:09:27,300 has meant actual policy change, not just... 1262 01:09:40,682 --> 01:09:43,316 'Cause that is beautiful. OK? 1263 01:09:46,353 --> 01:09:48,056 Hello! 1264 01:09:50,825 --> 01:09:52,860 Hello! 1265 01:09:52,894 --> 01:09:54,394 Say your name. 1266 01:09:55,596 --> 01:09:56,964 -Why? -Hi, guys. 1267 01:09:56,998 --> 01:09:58,432 Just dropping the professor home. 1268 01:09:58,465 --> 01:10:00,467 You need to say your name, not just hello. 1269 01:10:00,501 --> 01:10:02,235 Otherwise, we don't know who you are 1270 01:10:02,269 --> 01:10:03,771 or what you want. 1271 01:10:03,805 --> 01:10:05,640 Who else would it be? 1272 01:10:09,644 --> 01:10:11,846 Uh, I think it's time for bed. 1273 01:10:11,879 --> 01:10:13,715 Well, how did it go? 1274 01:10:13,748 --> 01:10:16,684 -Oh, wet and miserable. -Hmm. 1275 01:10:17,785 --> 01:10:19,020 But really good. 1276 01:10:19,053 --> 01:10:20,688 Let me, uh... 1277 01:10:23,624 --> 01:10:25,793 It went really well. 1278 01:10:26,894 --> 01:10:28,596 They'd be lucky to have me. 1279 01:10:29,797 --> 01:10:32,466 It reminded me... Oh. 1280 01:10:33,634 --> 01:10:34,702 . ..of all the ideas... 1281 01:10:37,370 --> 01:10:39,507 Of the ideas i still have. 1282 01:10:39,540 --> 01:10:42,275 Of the energy I have. 1283 01:10:42,309 --> 01:10:43,745 Ahhh. 1284 01:10:47,849 --> 01:10:50,017 What... what time is it? 1285 01:10:50,051 --> 01:10:52,186 Let's get you to bed, Professor. 1286 01:11:00,027 --> 01:11:01,896 I think she could be interesting. 1287 01:11:01,929 --> 01:11:03,965 She had some interesting ideas. 1288 01:11:06,433 --> 01:11:08,268 But at least she's invested. 1289 01:11:08,301 --> 01:11:09,436 One second. 1290 01:11:10,470 --> 01:11:11,672 Have fun. 1291 01:11:11,706 --> 01:11:13,808 I think it makes sense for you to stay here. 1292 01:11:13,841 --> 01:11:14,976 Mm-hm. 1293 01:11:15,009 --> 01:11:16,177 This was always gonna happen. 1294 01:11:16,210 --> 01:11:17,545 Don't make your mum feel guilty. 1295 01:11:17,578 --> 01:11:20,280 Yes, don't shame your mother for working, Frances. 1296 01:11:20,313 --> 01:11:21,448 I'm not. 1297 01:11:21,481 --> 01:11:23,483 You rather have a mother who stayed home 1298 01:11:23,518 --> 01:11:24,752 and cooked biscuits for you? 1299 01:11:24,786 --> 01:11:26,087 You want that kind of a mother? 1300 01:11:26,120 --> 01:11:27,822 Yep. I should go. I need to go and get the train. 1301 01:11:27,855 --> 01:11:29,991 No, I don't want that kind of a mother. 1302 01:11:30,024 --> 01:11:30,992 Yeah. Good. 1303 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:33,127 Oh! For fuck's sake! 1304 01:11:33,161 --> 01:11:35,462 Um, originally I had said Frances might come. 1305 01:11:35,495 --> 01:11:37,565 Tell your mother you'll be fine. 1306 01:11:37,598 --> 01:11:39,133 Or tell me nothing. 1307 01:11:39,167 --> 01:11:40,268 Hmm. 1308 01:11:41,401 --> 01:11:43,137 But I... I did want to tell you. 1309 01:11:43,171 --> 01:11:45,640 I just... I hadn't yet. 1310 01:11:45,673 --> 01:11:46,908 That's not what I meant. 1311 01:11:46,941 --> 01:11:48,810 It's fine. You didn't have to tell me. 1312 01:11:48,843 --> 01:11:50,011 OK? 1313 01:11:50,044 --> 01:11:52,379 OK? Of course it's OK. 1314 01:11:53,480 --> 01:11:54,682 Uh... 1315 01:11:55,883 --> 01:11:57,885 You don't want to stay in Amsterdam? 1316 01:11:58,886 --> 01:12:00,855 Do you want to come with me? 1317 01:12:06,127 --> 01:12:09,429 But Dad's fine. He's been to Finland for an interview. 1318 01:12:09,462 --> 01:12:11,398 You need to tell your father 1319 01:12:11,431 --> 01:12:13,901 that he's being ridiculous and selfish. 1320 01:12:13,935 --> 01:12:16,804 He doesn't need me to tell him those things. 1321 01:12:16,838 --> 01:12:19,640 Tell him he needs to retire with some fucking dignity. 1322 01:12:19,674 --> 01:12:21,309 We don't need to tell him anything. 1323 01:12:21,341 --> 01:12:22,944 He's feeling old, Mum. 1324 01:12:22,977 --> 01:12:25,847 Have you talked to him about your film yet? 1325 01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:27,648 Uh, kind of. 1326 01:12:27,682 --> 01:12:29,449 You're worried that he's not gonna give you 1327 01:12:29,482 --> 01:12:30,818 his divine blessing? 1328 01:12:30,852 --> 01:12:33,054 I just don't want to get into an argument. 1329 01:12:33,087 --> 01:12:34,487 Then he'll tell you 1330 01:12:34,522 --> 01:12:36,557 there are far more interesting parts in his life, 1331 01:12:36,591 --> 01:12:38,226 so be ready. 1332 01:12:38,259 --> 01:12:39,794 Maybe. 1333 01:12:48,169 --> 01:12:50,738 You never come visit anymore, Mirjam. 1334 01:12:50,771 --> 01:12:52,640 -You told me not to. -I never! 1335 01:12:52,673 --> 01:12:55,276 You did. 1336 01:12:55,309 --> 01:12:57,377 You did. 1337 01:13:01,515 --> 01:13:04,819 Thank you for the kind words you said about me. 1338 01:13:04,852 --> 01:13:06,287 I meant them. 1339 01:13:08,956 --> 01:13:11,092 You could have told me. 1340 01:13:11,125 --> 01:13:13,728 I didn't know you were going for the same job 1341 01:13:13,761 --> 01:13:14,962 until you announced it 1342 01:13:14,996 --> 01:13:16,931 in front of everyone at your party. 1343 01:13:16,964 --> 01:13:18,866 If you'd known earlier, 1344 01:13:18,900 --> 01:13:20,968 would you still have gone for the position? 1345 01:13:24,138 --> 01:13:25,438 If there is a job, 1346 01:13:25,472 --> 01:13:27,174 think of Richard, won't you? 1347 01:13:29,476 --> 01:13:30,978 Get him out of my hair. 1348 01:13:39,387 --> 01:13:41,088 Two hugs. 1349 01:13:41,122 --> 01:13:42,857 Aren't you lucky? 1350 01:14:06,180 --> 01:14:09,050 I can't believe I feel jealous. 1351 01:14:09,083 --> 01:14:11,052 It's OK, I understand. 1352 01:14:11,085 --> 01:14:12,954 It's not ok. 1353 01:14:14,088 --> 01:14:17,091 It's stupid. It's so fucking... 1354 01:14:17,124 --> 01:14:19,760 It's so fucking stupid. 1355 01:14:21,829 --> 01:14:23,597 Maybe things were just a bit fast. 1356 01:14:25,166 --> 01:14:26,300 My God. 1357 01:14:26,334 --> 01:14:28,669 It's so immature of me, isn't it? 1358 01:14:29,804 --> 01:14:32,039 Can we just go home? 1359 01:14:33,341 --> 01:14:34,675 We will. 1360 01:14:34,709 --> 01:14:37,645 Talk to Jimpa about your film and let's go home. 1361 01:14:37,678 --> 01:14:39,146 I will. 1362 01:14:46,420 --> 01:14:48,222 I don't think I want the job. 1363 01:14:49,190 --> 01:14:53,260 I think... I'll stay in Amsterdam. 1364 01:14:53,294 --> 01:14:55,596 I... I think Amsterdam could be 1365 01:14:55,629 --> 01:14:58,866 really great for you, Frances. 1366 01:14:58,899 --> 01:15:02,837 I'll stay here so you can live with me. 1367 01:15:02,870 --> 01:15:04,839 -Are you sure? -Of course. 1368 01:15:04,872 --> 01:15:09,176 It'll mean that you'll come visit more often as well. 1369 01:15:09,210 --> 01:15:10,644 Yeah. 1370 01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:12,213 What do you say, grand-thing? 1371 01:15:25,459 --> 01:15:27,628 - OK. - Good. 1372 01:15:28,629 --> 01:15:30,297 Is that what you want? 1373 01:15:32,066 --> 01:15:34,035 Yeah, I mean, sounds amazing, Jimpa. 1374 01:15:34,068 --> 01:15:36,170 Good. 1375 01:15:39,006 --> 01:15:40,574 Fuck me. 1376 01:15:42,443 --> 01:15:43,677 Your cunning plan 1377 01:15:43,711 --> 01:15:45,646 really didn't work out as expected, did it? 1378 01:16:26,387 --> 01:16:28,022 How old are you? 1379 01:16:29,190 --> 01:16:30,357 Old enough. 1380 01:16:30,391 --> 01:16:32,726 Hm. Just wanting to be safe, you know. 1381 01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:34,762 Always safe. 1382 01:16:34,795 --> 01:16:36,597 I once fucked an older guy, 1383 01:16:36,630 --> 01:16:38,933 then discovered he'd escaped from a nursing home. 1384 01:16:43,137 --> 01:16:45,673 The perils of being a daddy chaser. 1385 01:16:45,706 --> 01:16:46,941 Hmm! 1386 01:16:48,709 --> 01:16:50,512 So come on. 1387 01:16:50,545 --> 01:16:51,979 Chase me. 1388 01:16:59,787 --> 01:17:01,255 I did say I regretted Frances 1389 01:17:01,288 --> 01:17:02,656 not spending enough time with him. 1390 01:17:02,690 --> 01:17:03,724 Mmm. 1391 01:17:04,892 --> 01:17:06,460 It is a great city. 1392 01:17:18,472 --> 01:17:20,975 -Really good cafes. -Mmm. 1393 01:17:21,008 --> 01:17:22,476 Good schools too. 1394 01:17:31,118 --> 01:17:32,453 Hey, Richard. 1395 01:17:49,003 --> 01:17:51,438 Uh, I don't know what they've told you... 1396 01:17:52,641 --> 01:17:55,209 . ..but two days ago, you had a bad stroke. 1397 01:17:56,777 --> 01:17:59,213 So you've been in a coma to protect your brain. 1398 01:18:01,015 --> 01:18:03,384 And now they've taken you out of the coma 1399 01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:04,785 to see how you are. 1400 01:18:06,521 --> 01:18:09,356 And they told us that you can hear us now. Is that right? 1401 01:18:11,892 --> 01:18:13,662 Apparently you can squeeze my hand. 1402 01:18:16,497 --> 01:18:19,233 So if you can hear me, Dad, can you squeeze my hand? 1403 01:18:22,504 --> 01:18:24,171 OK. 1404 01:18:24,205 --> 01:18:27,474 So we'll do once for yes, two for no. 1405 01:18:28,876 --> 01:18:30,110 OK. 1406 01:18:31,546 --> 01:18:34,715 So are you OK? I mean, are you in any pain? 1407 01:18:39,353 --> 01:18:41,623 No? Good. OK. 1408 01:18:43,558 --> 01:18:45,392 And do you know who I am? 1409 01:18:45,426 --> 01:18:47,596 It's me, Hannah, your daughter. 1410 01:18:52,099 --> 01:18:53,635 And a filmmaker 1411 01:18:53,668 --> 01:18:55,369 and a woman and a mother. 1412 01:19:03,277 --> 01:19:05,879 And Frances is here as well, your grandchild. 1413 01:19:10,150 --> 01:19:11,418 Hi, Jimpa. 1414 01:19:25,734 --> 01:19:28,035 Don't worry, Dad, OK? I know what to do. 1415 01:19:29,003 --> 01:19:30,271 OK, I know. 1416 01:19:35,342 --> 01:19:36,877 Do you feel like you? 1417 01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:41,683 No, of course you don't. Stupid question. 1418 01:19:43,384 --> 01:19:44,918 Strange, you not talking. 1419 01:19:50,291 --> 01:19:51,859 Shall I tell you about yourself? 1420 01:19:54,763 --> 01:19:55,896 OK. 1421 01:19:55,929 --> 01:19:59,433 You were born in 1951. 1422 01:20:00,434 --> 01:20:02,637 Your parents were Mary and Bill. 1423 01:20:04,004 --> 01:20:05,973 You don't believe in monogamy. 1424 01:20:06,006 --> 01:20:08,643 Uh, you've had many lovers. 1425 01:20:09,910 --> 01:20:11,646 Stephen, who we all loved. 1426 01:20:13,414 --> 01:20:16,317 And then when you first got here, there was a, um... 1427 01:20:17,251 --> 01:20:18,886 He was a photographer. 1428 01:20:18,919 --> 01:20:21,690 Tall, blonde. 1429 01:20:21,723 --> 01:20:23,591 He took that photo of you that I really loved. 1430 01:20:23,625 --> 01:20:24,759 Daan. 1431 01:20:24,793 --> 01:20:26,960 His name was Daan. 1432 01:20:26,994 --> 01:20:28,896 I remember. Yeah, Daan. 1433 01:20:30,297 --> 01:20:31,633 He can't remember? 1434 01:20:31,666 --> 01:20:34,968 I'm just making sure that he understands who he is. 1435 01:20:35,002 --> 01:20:37,171 Hey. Sorry. 1436 01:20:44,912 --> 01:20:46,880 Oh, God, look at him. 1437 01:20:46,914 --> 01:20:48,415 Jesus. 1438 01:20:49,917 --> 01:20:51,285 Oh, Hannah, I can't bear that. 1439 01:20:51,318 --> 01:20:53,755 - Hey, he can hear you. - OK. 1440 01:20:58,192 --> 01:21:00,361 So he can't breathe on his own? 1441 01:21:00,394 --> 01:21:01,629 - No. - OK. 1442 01:21:01,663 --> 01:21:03,130 Not yet, anyway. Hmm? 1443 01:21:05,899 --> 01:21:08,302 Jesus, can they just prop him up or something? 1444 01:21:08,335 --> 01:21:10,170 He looks fucking horrific like this. 1445 01:21:10,204 --> 01:21:12,339 Why don't we just sit and talk to him? 1446 01:21:12,373 --> 01:21:13,440 OK. 1447 01:21:23,050 --> 01:21:24,853 I mean, I don't really know what to say. 1448 01:21:24,885 --> 01:21:26,621 He's usually the one doing all the talking. 1449 01:21:28,021 --> 01:21:29,356 You talk just fine. 1450 01:21:29,390 --> 01:21:31,125 Yeah, I know that. I know I do. 1451 01:21:34,194 --> 01:21:36,397 Oh, my God, Hannah, look at our dad. 1452 01:21:36,430 --> 01:21:38,867 He can hear you. 1453 01:21:38,899 --> 01:21:42,002 Oh, god, dad, you look like shit. 1454 01:21:43,170 --> 01:21:44,806 Hi. 1455 01:21:44,839 --> 01:21:46,508 It's OK. 1456 01:21:54,348 --> 01:21:55,382 Oh. 1457 01:21:55,416 --> 01:21:56,751 I am here. 1458 01:21:58,218 --> 01:21:59,587 It's OK. 1459 01:22:05,593 --> 01:22:07,862 The doctor said there was a similar patient 1460 01:22:07,896 --> 01:22:09,531 who can now sit in the backyard 1461 01:22:09,564 --> 01:22:11,733 with a cup of tea and a dog on their lap 1462 01:22:11,766 --> 01:22:13,967 and... and that there's... there's no reason 1463 01:22:14,001 --> 01:22:16,003 Dad couldn't have that life. 1464 01:22:17,438 --> 01:22:19,908 Oh, this coffee is awful. 1465 01:22:19,940 --> 01:22:21,843 What have they done to the milk? 1466 01:22:21,876 --> 01:22:23,611 Look at your risotto. 1467 01:22:23,645 --> 01:22:25,979 -Who puts tofu in risotto? -It's fine. 1468 01:22:26,013 --> 01:22:28,650 No. Excuse me! If it's bad, you send it back. 1469 01:22:28,683 --> 01:22:30,284 I've already eaten a quarter of it. 1470 01:22:30,317 --> 01:22:32,821 Jesus, Hannah, they need to know if their food is bad. 1471 01:22:32,854 --> 01:22:35,723 I will tell them and I'll get them to take it back. 1472 01:22:35,757 --> 01:22:36,791 No, please don't. 1473 01:22:36,825 --> 01:22:38,325 Why not? 1474 01:22:41,663 --> 01:22:43,598 Who puts tofu in risotto? 1475 01:22:43,631 --> 01:22:46,033 Would you like me to remove the tofu? 1476 01:22:46,066 --> 01:22:47,100 No, it's fine. 1477 01:22:47,134 --> 01:22:48,469 I've... I've already eaten some. 1478 01:22:48,503 --> 01:22:49,771 And honestly, it's fine. 1479 01:22:49,804 --> 01:22:52,372 Let her have the terrible risotto if she wants. 1480 01:22:54,208 --> 01:22:55,610 Fine, yep. 1481 01:22:55,643 --> 01:22:57,177 Just tell the kitchen that it's terrible. 1482 01:22:57,211 --> 01:23:00,147 And look, these eggs, they're way overcooked. Look at that. 1483 01:23:01,081 --> 01:23:03,217 Have a proper look. They're solid, they don't even move. 1484 01:23:03,250 --> 01:23:05,520 Uh, shall I get the kitchen to make them again? 1485 01:23:05,553 --> 01:23:07,421 No, you just tell the kitchen that they're terrible. 1486 01:23:08,455 --> 01:23:09,691 OK. 1487 01:23:23,972 --> 01:23:25,405 We could get him a dog 1488 01:23:25,439 --> 01:23:26,808 and he could sit in the garden... 1489 01:23:26,841 --> 01:23:28,108 Probably hooked up to machines. 1490 01:23:28,141 --> 01:23:30,344 . ..the dog on his lap, and they... they said that 1491 01:23:30,377 --> 01:23:32,446 he might even be able to communicate a little bit. 1492 01:23:32,479 --> 01:23:34,381 In the words of the doctor, "Maybe, 1493 01:23:34,414 --> 01:23:36,049 "and after an extended and difficult 1494 01:23:36,083 --> 01:23:37,251 "period of rehabilitation." 1495 01:23:37,284 --> 01:23:38,653 It's still possible. 1496 01:23:38,686 --> 01:23:40,153 It could take years, Em, 1497 01:23:40,187 --> 01:23:41,523 with no guarantee, 1498 01:23:41,556 --> 01:23:43,390 and that's the best possible scenario. 1499 01:23:43,423 --> 01:23:44,859 But it's still a life. 1500 01:23:44,893 --> 01:23:46,661 And no-one should give up their life to look after Dad. 1501 01:23:46,694 --> 01:23:48,395 -He wouldn't want that. -Oh, Jesus, Hannah. 1502 01:23:48,428 --> 01:23:50,397 -It's not what he wants. -How do you know that? 1503 01:23:50,430 --> 01:23:51,833 There was no advanced care directive. 1504 01:23:51,866 --> 01:23:54,636 There's no recent will either. Stephen's still in it. 1505 01:23:54,669 --> 01:23:56,804 Because it wasn't updated. But we know what he wants. 1506 01:23:56,838 --> 01:23:58,238 That's not the same. 1507 01:23:58,272 --> 01:24:00,140 He told me, Em, and he was very clear. 1508 01:24:00,173 --> 01:24:02,442 If he ends up more diminished, let him die. 1509 01:24:05,680 --> 01:24:07,549 And... and what? 1510 01:24:09,316 --> 01:24:10,818 What, we just go and get coffee? 1511 01:24:10,852 --> 01:24:13,153 Is that what he said? 1512 01:24:13,186 --> 01:24:16,290 You know what Dad's like. He just says shit like I do. 1513 01:24:16,323 --> 01:24:18,026 He could have written it down, 1514 01:24:18,058 --> 01:24:19,694 he could have... he could have left instructions, 1515 01:24:19,727 --> 01:24:21,428 but he didn't. 1516 01:24:21,461 --> 01:24:23,565 And maybe he would be very happy 1517 01:24:23,598 --> 01:24:26,133 just sitting in the garden with a dog on his lap. 1518 01:24:26,166 --> 01:24:27,434 That's his idea of hell. 1519 01:24:27,467 --> 01:24:28,836 Well, lately he's been happy 1520 01:24:28,870 --> 01:24:30,638 to sit on the couch and eat yoghurt. 1521 01:24:31,673 --> 01:24:33,240 He has been very diminished 1522 01:24:33,273 --> 01:24:34,308 since his first stroke, Hannah. 1523 01:24:34,341 --> 01:24:35,677 You just haven't been around. 1524 01:24:43,751 --> 01:24:46,086 I have seen him sit on the couch and eat yoghurt. 1525 01:24:47,889 --> 01:24:49,189 Oh. 1526 01:24:52,727 --> 01:24:57,230 Well, there were these panels and they were about 3x6 1527 01:24:57,264 --> 01:24:59,366 and, well, there were all different kinds of fabrics 1528 01:24:59,399 --> 01:25:01,468 and... and we would decorate them 1529 01:25:01,502 --> 01:25:02,971 with gems and buttons and... 1530 01:25:03,004 --> 01:25:04,171 Everything. 1531 01:25:04,204 --> 01:25:05,305 Anything. Whatever we wanted. 1532 01:25:05,339 --> 01:25:06,841 Sequins, 1533 01:25:06,874 --> 01:25:08,442 stuffed animals. 1534 01:25:08,475 --> 01:25:10,011 Hair. Condoms. 1535 01:25:12,312 --> 01:25:14,314 But everything you got you then... 1536 01:25:14,348 --> 01:25:17,484 . ..sewed together to form the quilt. 1537 01:25:17,518 --> 01:25:20,354 I felt like we were doing that every week. I loved it. 1538 01:25:20,387 --> 01:25:23,390 How could you love it? I mean, it's so... sad. 1539 01:25:23,423 --> 01:25:25,827 - I think it was just... - Hmm. 1540 01:25:25,860 --> 01:25:27,729 I was 15. 1541 01:25:27,762 --> 01:25:30,297 I think it just felt like family arts and crafts to me. 1542 01:25:30,330 --> 01:25:31,733 It was important work 1543 01:25:31,766 --> 01:25:34,802 because some didn't get funerals or celebrations. 1544 01:25:34,836 --> 01:25:36,336 Or families were ashamed. 1545 01:25:36,370 --> 01:25:38,106 You know, or didn't want to bring attention 1546 01:25:38,138 --> 01:25:39,107 to how they died. 1547 01:25:39,139 --> 01:25:40,642 So it's the only way 1548 01:25:40,675 --> 01:25:43,111 people who had an AIDS-related death 1549 01:25:43,143 --> 01:25:44,512 are remembered still. 1550 01:25:44,545 --> 01:25:46,848 - Mmm. - One day it's, uh... 1551 01:25:46,881 --> 01:25:49,017 "Have you heard about Felix? 1552 01:25:49,050 --> 01:25:50,985 "He's gone back home to his family." 1553 01:25:51,019 --> 01:25:52,887 And then we hear from the family. 1554 01:25:52,920 --> 01:25:54,088 Felix suddenly died from 1555 01:25:54,122 --> 01:25:55,657 lung cancer or something ridiculous. 1556 01:25:55,690 --> 01:25:57,692 Yeah. We knew the truth. 1557 01:25:57,725 --> 01:26:00,995 But you didn't really know in those early days. 1558 01:26:01,029 --> 01:26:04,966 You were constantly checked, but you were always scared. 1559 01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:07,769 Always fucking scared. 1560 01:26:10,104 --> 01:26:12,406 We went on holiday to Spain. You were there? 1561 01:26:12,439 --> 01:26:14,307 -Yeah. Tom. -Yeah. 1562 01:26:14,341 --> 01:26:15,743 - And Jim. - Jim. 1563 01:26:15,777 --> 01:26:17,444 And we went to the gay beach. 1564 01:26:17,477 --> 01:26:18,780 There was this man, 1565 01:26:18,813 --> 01:26:21,816 very skeletal man, with just his, uh... 1566 01:26:21,849 --> 01:26:23,551 . ..how do you call this, swimming, uh... 1567 01:26:23,584 --> 01:26:26,253 -Swimmers. -Swimmers, yeah. 1568 01:26:26,286 --> 01:26:30,024 And when he got up from his bed to go to the sea, 1569 01:26:30,058 --> 01:26:33,628 you could see that he was covered in Kaposi sarcoma. 1570 01:26:33,661 --> 01:26:34,996 Hmm. 1571 01:26:35,029 --> 01:26:38,700 Honestly, all over his body. It was horrible. 1572 01:26:38,733 --> 01:26:40,902 And I was thinking what a horrible sight it was, 1573 01:26:40,935 --> 01:26:42,402 but at the same time, I thought, 1574 01:26:42,436 --> 01:26:45,073 no, but it's also brave and it's also beautiful 1575 01:26:45,106 --> 01:26:47,709 that he felt comfortable showing his body like this. 1576 01:26:49,110 --> 01:26:51,211 But Jim wasn't interested, no. 1577 01:26:51,244 --> 01:26:53,614 Jim just pointed to a small purple spot 1578 01:26:53,648 --> 01:26:55,482 on Tom's neck or shoulder 1579 01:26:55,516 --> 01:26:57,018 and he said... 1580 01:26:58,853 --> 01:27:01,656 "You need to get that checked, otherwise... eugh." 1581 01:27:01,689 --> 01:27:02,890 No! 1582 01:27:02,924 --> 01:27:04,424 He just never has any fucking tact. 1583 01:27:04,458 --> 01:27:05,492 No tact. 1584 01:27:05,526 --> 01:27:06,728 Like, none at all. 1585 01:27:06,761 --> 01:27:08,228 We were on the beach. 1586 01:27:08,261 --> 01:27:10,064 There was no etiquette about these things. 1587 01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:11,132 No. 1588 01:27:11,165 --> 01:27:12,967 But still, yeah, it was... it was rude. 1589 01:27:14,802 --> 01:27:17,505 Tom was kind of a sensitive man, 1590 01:27:17,538 --> 01:27:18,673 unlike Jim. 1591 01:27:19,707 --> 01:27:21,274 And he said, "Well, thanks, Jim. 1592 01:27:21,308 --> 01:27:24,212 "Thank you very much for ruining my holiday. 1593 01:27:24,244 --> 01:27:26,313 "Muchas gracias, darling." 1594 01:27:26,346 --> 01:27:29,449 But he did have it. 1595 01:27:29,483 --> 01:27:31,152 - Ohh. - He did have it, yes. 1596 01:27:31,185 --> 01:27:33,921 -Yes, and he did get a quilt. -Yeah. 1597 01:27:35,223 --> 01:27:37,525 It's so... it's so horrific. 1598 01:27:39,961 --> 01:27:43,731 Sorry. It's terrible. 1599 01:27:43,765 --> 01:27:45,600 Sorry, I'm sorry. 1600 01:27:45,633 --> 01:27:49,837 It's a terrible story. It's not funny at all. It's not. 1601 01:27:49,871 --> 01:27:52,774 I don't even know why I'm laughing about it. 1602 01:28:03,551 --> 01:28:05,253 Sorry. 1603 01:28:09,857 --> 01:28:12,593 Oh, God, I just don't want him to die. 1604 01:28:18,800 --> 01:28:20,768 But I do need more wine, so... 1605 01:28:20,802 --> 01:28:23,104 Coming up. 1606 01:28:27,975 --> 01:28:30,278 Thank you. Thank you, sir. 1607 01:28:33,247 --> 01:28:35,482 I think that... Yeah. 1608 01:28:45,760 --> 01:28:47,427 I do, you know. 1609 01:28:47,460 --> 01:28:48,796 What? 1610 01:28:48,830 --> 01:28:50,965 Want him to die. 1611 01:28:56,336 --> 01:28:58,338 Because you don't need him like they do. 1612 01:29:06,214 --> 01:29:07,682 He thinks we have a thing. 1613 01:29:10,251 --> 01:29:12,053 I know. 1614 01:29:17,792 --> 01:29:20,328 Dark pink skin on the knuckles. 1615 01:29:21,596 --> 01:29:23,496 Prominent tendons. 1616 01:29:25,132 --> 01:29:26,366 Little cut. 1617 01:29:26,399 --> 01:29:27,935 Hmm! 1618 01:29:27,969 --> 01:29:31,305 There's a few dark hairs on the outside of the hand. 1619 01:29:57,632 --> 01:30:00,101 Be grateful and fucking move on. 1620 01:30:26,426 --> 01:30:29,764 Do you think Emily knows Jimpa better than you do? 1621 01:30:32,266 --> 01:30:33,668 Do you? 1622 01:30:37,204 --> 01:30:40,508 Emily's lived with or close to Jimpa her whole life 1623 01:30:40,541 --> 01:30:43,744 so she's got a... different relationship to him 1624 01:30:43,778 --> 01:30:45,179 than the one we have. 1625 01:30:45,212 --> 01:30:46,714 We have? 1626 01:30:46,747 --> 01:30:48,049 What's that? 1627 01:30:48,082 --> 01:30:50,051 Long-distance. 1628 01:30:51,385 --> 01:30:52,787 Mm. 1629 01:30:54,722 --> 01:30:56,624 I just wanna know what Jimpa wants. 1630 01:30:58,392 --> 01:31:00,127 You don't think I know what he wants? 1631 01:31:02,830 --> 01:31:04,865 The story you tell 1632 01:31:04,899 --> 01:31:08,402 about how he eventually had to leave to come to Amsterdam, 1633 01:31:08,436 --> 01:31:11,939 about how Grandma decided it was best to stay in Adelaide. 1634 01:31:12,940 --> 01:31:14,008 Yeah? 1635 01:31:16,476 --> 01:31:17,712 It's not true. 1636 01:31:19,180 --> 01:31:21,449 Grandma said to Jim that she could come with him 1637 01:31:21,481 --> 01:31:22,883 and bring the kids. 1638 01:31:22,917 --> 01:31:24,652 You could all move here together. 1639 01:31:25,753 --> 01:31:27,455 And Jimpa said no. 1640 01:31:28,422 --> 01:31:30,458 He said he wanted to do it on his own. 1641 01:31:32,426 --> 01:31:33,861 He could have 1642 01:31:33,894 --> 01:31:35,863 brought you all with him 1643 01:31:35,896 --> 01:31:37,631 but he didn't want to. 1644 01:31:41,969 --> 01:31:43,471 Is that what he said to you? 1645 01:31:45,239 --> 01:31:46,640 Do you think he was lying? 1646 01:31:49,343 --> 01:31:50,811 No, I don't think he was. 1647 01:31:58,352 --> 01:32:00,187 Are you and Dad monogamous? 1648 01:32:03,224 --> 01:32:04,458 Mostly. 1649 01:32:06,127 --> 01:32:07,728 Why don't you talk about it? 1650 01:32:11,832 --> 01:32:13,801 I'm not as open as Jimpa. 1651 01:32:16,537 --> 01:32:17,838 Hmm. 1652 01:32:38,025 --> 01:32:40,694 And you were Director of Public Health for five years. 1653 01:32:40,728 --> 01:32:41,996 Do you remember that? 1654 01:32:43,464 --> 01:32:44,999 Yeah? And... 1655 01:32:46,434 --> 01:32:47,802 Thank you. 1656 01:32:51,372 --> 01:32:54,642 And... and... 1657 01:33:01,649 --> 01:33:03,384 Emily's here. 1658 01:33:08,956 --> 01:33:11,092 Hannah, you don't have to do it. 1659 01:33:11,125 --> 01:33:12,726 No shit. I'm not eating ham. 1660 01:33:12,760 --> 01:33:14,628 What? Fuck. 1661 01:33:14,662 --> 01:33:17,298 No, Hannah, I'm talking about our dad. 1662 01:33:17,331 --> 01:33:20,267 No, it won't be me that actually kills him. 1663 01:33:20,301 --> 01:33:22,169 Fucking hell, Hannah. I'm... 1664 01:33:23,304 --> 01:33:25,806 I mean that you don't have to look after him. 1665 01:33:25,840 --> 01:33:28,242 If that's what scares you, I will do that. You know this. 1666 01:33:28,275 --> 01:33:29,844 You're not gonna have to give up anything. 1667 01:33:29,877 --> 01:33:30,845 Emily. 1668 01:33:30,878 --> 01:33:32,980 No, it's my fucking life. 1669 01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:37,785 I can help. 1670 01:33:37,818 --> 01:33:39,753 I can stay here and live with them. 1671 01:33:39,787 --> 01:33:41,556 Jimpa would love it and... 1672 01:33:41,590 --> 01:33:44,825 . ..I can properly experience this place. 1673 01:33:44,859 --> 01:33:46,260 - No. - Why not? 1674 01:33:46,293 --> 01:33:48,429 You were ready to let me live with him before. 1675 01:33:48,462 --> 01:33:50,599 No, no, not necessarily. 1676 01:33:51,732 --> 01:33:53,100 You weren't? 1677 01:33:56,370 --> 01:33:57,805 Hannah, can you please say something? 1678 01:33:59,974 --> 01:34:01,775 It's not what he wants. 1679 01:34:05,580 --> 01:34:06,981 It's OK, Mum. 1680 01:34:07,014 --> 01:34:09,850 Sorry, don't take this as hostile, but I need to go. 1681 01:34:09,884 --> 01:34:11,318 Go for a walk. 1682 01:37:27,147 --> 01:37:29,183 -Is that Stephen? -Mmm. 1683 01:37:34,121 --> 01:37:35,824 What did you say to him? 1684 01:37:35,856 --> 01:37:38,225 I told him he was 1685 01:37:38,258 --> 01:37:40,961 being stubborn for not updating his will. 1686 01:37:42,196 --> 01:37:44,733 I told him I never wanted anything from him 1687 01:37:44,766 --> 01:37:47,034 except for his constancy 1688 01:37:47,067 --> 01:37:49,937 and that was the one thing he refused to give me. 1689 01:37:50,938 --> 01:37:53,173 And I asked him what's the use 1690 01:37:53,207 --> 01:37:56,644 of all of his ideals and opinions 1691 01:37:56,678 --> 01:37:59,913 if he can't give the people he loves what they need. 1692 01:38:03,217 --> 01:38:06,220 You know, you're allowed to be angry 1693 01:38:06,253 --> 01:38:07,822 or disappointed by him 1694 01:38:07,856 --> 01:38:09,890 and still think the world of him. 1695 01:38:09,923 --> 01:38:11,659 I know. 1696 01:38:11,693 --> 01:38:13,093 Are you sure? 1697 01:38:21,168 --> 01:38:22,903 I'm not sure if you remember much about 1698 01:38:22,936 --> 01:38:24,839 what we talked about the other day. 1699 01:38:25,939 --> 01:38:28,175 Or if you remember much about anything. 1700 01:38:29,176 --> 01:38:30,678 But I'm Hannah, 1701 01:38:30,712 --> 01:38:32,980 your youngest daughter. 1702 01:38:33,013 --> 01:38:35,315 And a filmmaker. 1703 01:38:35,349 --> 01:38:37,217 A mother. 1704 01:38:37,251 --> 01:38:38,753 A woman. 1705 01:38:41,088 --> 01:38:43,424 And we have to decide what to do with you today. 1706 01:38:51,165 --> 01:38:52,299 You tell me off 1707 01:38:52,332 --> 01:38:54,536 for not answering my phone when you call. 1708 01:38:54,569 --> 01:38:57,672 And for not visiting enough and for working too hard, 1709 01:38:57,705 --> 01:38:59,173 but you taught me those things. 1710 01:39:00,875 --> 01:39:03,310 And I'm about to make a film about you 1711 01:39:03,343 --> 01:39:05,312 and I kept saying I couldn't visit yet 1712 01:39:05,345 --> 01:39:06,815 and you kept saying to 1713 01:39:06,848 --> 01:39:08,215 block out the time in my diary 1714 01:39:08,248 --> 01:39:09,983 and just to tell everyone I'm working with 1715 01:39:10,017 --> 01:39:12,554 that it's happening and to come for a visit. 1716 01:39:15,355 --> 01:39:17,592 This is one way to keep me around longer than planned! 1717 01:39:20,929 --> 01:39:22,764 Are you OK? Are you in any pain? 1718 01:39:27,134 --> 01:39:28,469 No? Good. 1719 01:39:31,539 --> 01:39:34,107 So I'm gonna tell you about my film. 1720 01:39:36,778 --> 01:39:39,112 It starts in 1977... 1721 01:39:40,815 --> 01:39:43,283 ...which is obviously a different and difficult time 1722 01:39:43,317 --> 01:39:45,352 to come out as gay. 1723 01:39:45,385 --> 01:39:47,889 But it's extra hard for my main character 1724 01:39:47,922 --> 01:39:49,389 because he's married, 1725 01:39:49,423 --> 01:39:52,025 with a toddler and a newborn baby. 1726 01:39:53,126 --> 01:39:55,797 But he does tell his family. 1727 01:39:58,098 --> 01:39:59,868 And instead of conflict, 1728 01:39:59,901 --> 01:40:03,605 he and his wife work out how to keep living together 1729 01:40:03,638 --> 01:40:05,874 and to raise their two children. 1730 01:40:08,208 --> 01:40:11,411 They start creating a different bond 1731 01:40:11,445 --> 01:40:14,616 where they co-parent and they share a life and... 1732 01:40:14,649 --> 01:40:16,985 ...both of them having various relationships, 1733 01:40:17,017 --> 01:40:19,052 some good, some bad, and... 1734 01:40:20,187 --> 01:40:23,056 ...they go on living like this for over 10 years. 1735 01:40:24,091 --> 01:40:25,760 And, um... 1736 01:40:25,793 --> 01:40:27,194 ...you know, they build a home together, 1737 01:40:27,227 --> 01:40:28,930 they... cook biscuits. 1738 01:40:29,964 --> 01:40:31,298 They coach each other through life 1739 01:40:31,331 --> 01:40:34,134 to make a good life, a good family. 1740 01:40:36,069 --> 01:40:38,806 And because of this, their youngest daughter grows up 1741 01:40:38,840 --> 01:40:43,343 seeing their dad as gay and a father as one thing - 1742 01:40:43,377 --> 01:40:47,147 as one whole thing, with no hidden or separated parts. 1743 01:40:49,316 --> 01:40:52,687 But then all this changes when she turns 13. 1744 01:40:55,222 --> 01:40:56,991 The father is finding it harder 1745 01:40:57,025 --> 01:40:58,560 to get work in Adelaide. 1746 01:40:58,593 --> 01:41:01,629 He's considered too political, too controversial, 1747 01:41:01,663 --> 01:41:04,298 and... he feels limited by 1748 01:41:04,331 --> 01:41:06,734 the views, the place, the lifestyle, 1749 01:41:06,768 --> 01:41:08,636 and so he says he needs to leave. 1750 01:41:12,607 --> 01:41:15,577 And so, just like that, after 13 years, he leaves. 1751 01:41:29,958 --> 01:41:32,894 But instead of it being a terrible decision... 1752 01:41:36,496 --> 01:41:38,733 . ..it's presented as something wonderful... 1753 01:41:40,568 --> 01:41:42,670 . ..that will prove to open up all their lives. 1754 01:41:44,171 --> 01:41:45,405 And it did. 1755 01:42:46,233 --> 01:42:47,935 So that's what the film's about. 1756 01:42:53,941 --> 01:42:55,409 It's about a daughter learning 1757 01:42:55,442 --> 01:42:57,812 to not need her father so much. 1758 01:43:03,017 --> 01:43:04,184 Because she doesn't want him 1759 01:43:04,217 --> 01:43:06,386 to stay at home and cook biscuits for her. 1760 01:43:08,589 --> 01:43:10,223 And her being grateful for that. 1761 01:43:31,311 --> 01:43:33,246 Do you like that story, Jimpa? 1762 01:43:39,887 --> 01:43:41,889 And do you think it's true? 1763 01:43:50,098 --> 01:43:51,231 Jimpa. 1764 01:43:55,103 --> 01:43:57,270 Do you want to die now? 1765 01:44:06,681 --> 01:44:08,248 Em... 1766 01:44:09,717 --> 01:44:10,885 Hmm. 1767 01:44:27,568 --> 01:44:30,403 You've said goodbye to him a hundred times. 1768 01:44:30,437 --> 01:44:31,672 He'll be OK, Mum. 1769 01:44:32,607 --> 01:44:35,510 I just don't want him to feel alone. He must be so scared. 1770 01:45:43,476 --> 01:45:44,545 Hello? 1771 01:46:25,720 --> 01:46:28,388 Jimpa always thought he was right. 1772 01:46:29,590 --> 01:46:30,925 You might have heard him say, 1773 01:46:30,958 --> 01:46:32,660 "I'm not often wrong and I'm right this time." 1774 01:46:34,028 --> 01:46:36,297 But he did change his mind sometimes. 1775 01:46:36,330 --> 01:46:38,465 He was just used to fighting for it. 1776 01:46:40,234 --> 01:46:43,804 He told me recently he was selfish. 1777 01:46:43,838 --> 01:46:46,774 And it's true that he could be careless. 1778 01:46:46,807 --> 01:46:48,576 He hurt people. 1779 01:46:51,212 --> 01:46:53,714 I always said he was my hero. 1780 01:46:55,349 --> 01:46:57,518 But I didn't really know him that well. 1781 01:46:59,587 --> 01:47:02,056 I just had an idea of him. 1782 01:47:05,326 --> 01:47:07,828 I'm grateful for that idea. 1783 01:47:29,383 --> 01:47:31,352 I love you. 1784 01:47:32,720 --> 01:47:34,288 I love you too. 1785 01:47:45,599 --> 01:47:47,134 You're my hero. 118115

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.