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1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:02,833
??
2
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,303
Your fashion magazines
are fascinating.
3
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,474
Everyone's dressed in rags.
4
00:00:13,474 --> 00:00:15,396
I know it's confusing,
but in this time,
5
00:00:15,396 --> 00:00:18,349
dressing like a peasant
means you're cool.
6
00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,641
In my time,
dressing like a peasant means you're a peasant
7
00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:24,024
and you're going to die
an early death.
8
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,488
Man, even shopping
was a bummer in the Middle Ages.
9
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,911
(LAUGHING)
10
00:00:30,911 --> 00:00:34,075
(SHUSHING)
Don't say anything!
11
00:00:35,496 --> 00:00:37,868
(CHUCKLING) I was never here!
12
00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:42,333
What's going on?
13
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,465
Barry and Naldo
are in the middle of an epic prank war.
14
00:00:44,465 --> 00:00:47,428
A prank war?
Is that anything like a land war?
15
00:00:47,428 --> 00:00:52,473
Kind of, but there's nothing
at stake and it's a huge waste of time.
16
00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:56,767
Renaldo! What a coincidence
running into you in the backyard like that.
17
00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:59,180
It's not a coincidence.
You ran around the front of the house,
18
00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:00,811
grabbed my arm
and yanked me in here.
19
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:05,526
(LAUGHING) Oh,
we sure do have some good times, don't we?
20
00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:09,570
Please, have a seat
in this stool and no other stool.
21
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,572
I won't sit down
until you sit down.
22
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,534
Fine. We'll sit down
at the same time.
23
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,700
(BOTH LAUGHING)
24
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:22,203
I put sticky on your stool!
I put sticky on your butt!
25
00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:23,544
Wait, you put sticky
on my stool?
26
00:01:23,544 --> 00:01:24,665
Wait, you put sticky
on my butt?
27
00:01:25,876 --> 00:01:27,468
BOTH: Dang it!
28
00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:31,922
Oh, a prank war.
Now I get it!
29
00:01:31,922 --> 00:01:33,634
It's like when
the town fool and the village idiot
30
00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:36,267
compete to be
the county moron!
31
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:37,518
Pretty much.
32
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,562
Shelby, permission to
borrow your stools?
33
00:01:41,562 --> 00:01:42,853
Or we can just take
our pants off.
34
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,396
Oh, take the stools,
take the stools!
35
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,783
? I know it sounds crazy
36
00:01:52,783 --> 00:01:55,656
? But time doesn't faze me
37
00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:59,540
? Ever since it lost
its hold on me
38
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,412
? Hey, hey
39
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,914
? Hung out till midnight
40
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:06,707
? Missed the curfew,
that's all right
41
00:02:06,707 --> 00:02:10,050
? I'm back to bed
and right on time, you'll see
42
00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:13,464
? Whenever
43
00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:14,675
? You need me
44
00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:17,428
? I'm right there with you
45
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:18,719
? Whenever
46
00:02:18,719 --> 00:02:20,261
? There's something
47
00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:23,184
? You wanna redo
48
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,766
? The clock is ticking
but not for me
49
00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:28,609
? I'm living in
a different reality
50
00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:29,650
? Whenever
51
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,151
? Whatever
52
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,653
? Wherever
53
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,536
? I'm right there with you
54
00:02:35,536 --> 00:02:37,738
? I'm right there with you
55
00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:39,450
? Hey, hey ?
56
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,458
Shelby, you're never gonna
believe what I found in the gas station bathroom.
57
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:51,592
I told you the last time
you started a story like that, I do not wanna know.
58
00:02:51,592 --> 00:02:54,465
No, no, no.
Check it out.
59
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:58,178
"Portland Underground
Roller Derby"? What is that?
60
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,301
It's like pro wrestling
on roller skates,
61
00:03:00,301 --> 00:03:01,892
but all chicks and no mercy.
62
00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:04,104
Plus, they have really
clever pun names
63
00:03:04,104 --> 00:03:06,607
like Slay-Me Poehler
and Brawley Parton.
64
00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:10,150
You know the only thing
I love more than girl power
65
00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:13,023
is celebrity puns!
I'm in.
66
00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:14,615
Awesome! It's all
going down tonight
67
00:03:14,615 --> 00:03:16,697
after the mall closes.
68
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,739
Underground roller derby!
69
00:03:18,739 --> 00:03:21,201
I feel so edgy and dangerous!
70
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,245
Let's go ask my mom
for permission!
71
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,537
No! Absolutely not.
72
00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:31,382
Don't worry, Cyd,
I'm an expert at negotiating with my mother.
73
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:37,007
(WHINING)
But Mommy, please?
74
00:03:37,007 --> 00:03:39,680
No, I'm not letting you
stay out late on a school night.
75
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,514
End of discussion.
Now I need to go run some errands.
76
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,646
You're just gonna let her
walk out like that?
77
00:03:45,646 --> 00:03:49,350
No, I'm not just gonna
let her walk out like that!
78
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:54,154
Mom, could you pick up
some toothpaste? I love you!
79
00:03:54,154 --> 00:03:56,907
What? I'm mad at my mom,
not my gums.
80
00:04:01,161 --> 00:04:03,574
I want to join
your prank war. Not a chance.
81
00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:07,288
Oh, come on,
princesses never get to do anything like this.
82
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,460
I want to mix it up
with you commoners, you know,
83
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,752
get my hands dirty
like Archibald Swindon.
84
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,133
Oh, is he a prankster?
85
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:15,676
No, he's a grave digger.
Filthy, filthy hands.
86
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,381
Daisy, we've been doing this
since the fifth grade.
87
00:04:20,381 --> 00:04:22,142
It's not something
you just jump into.
88
00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:24,725
Renaldo is right.
Prank wars are no laughing matter.
89
00:04:24,725 --> 00:04:26,847
(FART NOISE)
(LAUGHING)
90
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:29,600
This is serious business.
91
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,152
Once you start living
the prank life, there's no going back.
92
00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:33,654
Before long,
you're chewing pepper gum
93
00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:35,195
just to see
if you can handle it,
94
00:04:35,195 --> 00:04:37,738
and dropping itch powder
down your own shorts.
95
00:04:37,738 --> 00:04:40,661
It changes you.
96
00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:43,614
Wow, Barry,
that was some speech. Put 'er there.
97
00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:45,616
(BUZZING)
(VOCALIZING)
98
00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:48,499
I didn't see that coming,
and I've been doing this for years.
99
00:04:50,871 --> 00:04:52,873
Perhaps you're right.
I should just stick to
100
00:04:52,873 --> 00:04:54,625
the things
princesses know best.
101
00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:57,758
Planning lavish feasts,
waltzing with dukes,
102
00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,680
knighting defenders of
the crown...
103
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,011
Wait, wait, wait.
You can knight people?
104
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:02,182
Of course. I'm royalty.
105
00:05:02,182 --> 00:05:05,185
(CHUCKLES) Can I have
a moment? Renaldo.
106
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,428
If I got knighted,
I could join the ranks of
107
00:05:07,428 --> 00:05:09,640
some of the greatest
minds of all time.
108
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,022
Sir Isaac Newton,
Sir Bill Gates.
109
00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:14,104
I could be
Sir Barry Eisenberg.
110
00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:16,697
Imagine how good
that would look on a college application
111
00:05:16,697 --> 00:05:19,780
or on the side
of my latte.
112
00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:23,243
We gotta be knights!
Think about the exciting adventures we'd have.
113
00:05:23,243 --> 00:05:26,577
Fighting dragons,
riding unicorns, hanging with the trolls.
114
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,158
Renaldo, you can't do
any of those things.
115
00:05:28,158 --> 00:05:30,621
Yeah, because I'm not
a knight yet.
116
00:05:31,712 --> 00:05:34,334
Daisy, we'd like you
to knight us.
117
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,756
So how do we do this?
118
00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:37,798
Well, you'd have to
complete a quest,
119
00:05:37,798 --> 00:05:39,920
an act of bravery,
and an act of chivalry.
120
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,462
I guess I could set
something up.
121
00:05:41,462 --> 00:05:43,053
Make it happen, Princess.
122
00:05:43,053 --> 00:05:45,556
Renaldo, we are hereby,
suspending the prank war.
123
00:05:45,556 --> 00:05:48,228
In that case,
don't use your toilet paper. What did you do?
124
00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:51,732
Replaced it with sand paper
soaked in lemon juice.
125
00:05:51,732 --> 00:05:54,645
I know I should be mad,
but I'm actually impressed.
126
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,647
And frankly,
a little bit terrified.
127
00:06:02,903 --> 00:06:06,156
It's so unfair my mom
won't let us go to the roller derby.
128
00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:07,988
Let's just go anyway.
129
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:10,831
It's easy for you to say.
You don't have to face your mom when we get caught.
130
00:06:10,831 --> 00:06:14,044
True, the worst I have to
deal with is an angry text from Peru.
131
00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:17,708
That's why I turn
my phone off when I'm acting out.
132
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:19,760
Well, I don't want to risk
getting my mom's patented
133
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,882
"I raised you
better than that" look.
134
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,714
It's like watching
Bret and Chet do yoga.
135
00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:25,305
You can't unsee it.
136
00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,810
Fine, then we'll stay home.
137
00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:32,352
But we'll also go
to the derby.
138
00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:34,184
Oh, no, you're using
your caper voice.
139
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:35,816
I don't have a caper voice!
140
00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:38,358
(IN DIFFERENT VOICE)
Here's how it's all gonna go down.
141
00:06:38,358 --> 00:06:40,441
We'll sneak out
and go to the derby,
142
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,023
then we'll jump back
to right now and not go to the derby,
143
00:06:43,023 --> 00:06:45,786
thereby both following
and breaking the rules.
144
00:06:45,786 --> 00:06:48,288
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
145
00:06:48,288 --> 00:06:51,742
Well, I guess technically
we would be obeying my mom,
146
00:06:51,742 --> 00:06:54,455
and we would also get to go
to the roller derby.
147
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,587
Okay, let's do it!
148
00:06:56,587 --> 00:06:58,999
(HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHING)
149
00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:00,881
(NORMAL VOICE)
What was that? That was my evil laugh.
150
00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:02,382
Yeah, we gotta work on that.
151
00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:07,598
(ALL CHEERING)
152
00:07:18,268 --> 00:07:20,861
I love this!
These chicks are so tough!
153
00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:23,484
I heard the after party's
in the emergency room.
154
00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:28,328
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
155
00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:32,032
Whoa, see that scrappy one
throwing elbows? That's Mommy Fearest.
156
00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:35,836
I heard she's the team's MVP.
Most Vicious Player.
157
00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:43,794
Sweet mother of me!
158
00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:46,386
Mommy Fearest is Astrid!
159
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,855
To become a knight,
you must complete three rigorous challenges.
160
00:07:54,855 --> 00:07:58,188
First I must ask,
do you truly believe you are worthy?
161
00:07:58,188 --> 00:07:59,359
BOTH: Yes.
162
00:07:59,359 --> 00:08:01,061
Wow, that challenge
was hard.
163
00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:03,564
I almost said no!
164
00:08:03,564 --> 00:08:05,155
Oh, that was just a question.
165
00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:07,317
Your first challenge
is a quest.
166
00:08:07,317 --> 00:08:10,240
Bret and Chet's ball went
over the neighbor's fence.
167
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,452
It's your fault
we lost the ball, Bret.
168
00:08:12,452 --> 00:08:14,114
You know I can't
catch on my left.
169
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:18,999
That's ridiculous.
We can't both be right-handed.
170
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,462
You must journey
next door to retrieve their treasured object.
171
00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:24,504
But that's where
Paintball Preston lives.
172
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,547
That kid's got unlimited ammo
and he's not afraid to
173
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:28,258
shoot you where the sun
don't shine.
174
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,841
The bottom of the feet?
That's my sensitive spot!
175
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,223
Good luck on your quest!
176
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:40,601
(THUDS)
177
00:08:41,191 --> 00:08:43,273
(THUDS)
178
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,606
BARRY: Oh, we're in luck.
Preston's not even here.
179
00:08:45,606 --> 00:08:47,818
NALDO: Barry, that bush
has a paintball gun!
180
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,150
BARRY: That's not a bush.
That's Preston!
181
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:52,703
(PAINTBALLS PELTING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
182
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,615
BARRY: Oh, my God!
183
00:08:54,615 --> 00:08:56,036
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
184
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,828
BARRY: I got the ball!
Let's go!
185
00:09:02,663 --> 00:09:03,874
(PAINTBALL PELTS)
(YELPS)
186
00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:05,716
He shot the bottom
of my feet!
187
00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:07,127
He's a monster!
188
00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:11,842
I hope Bret and Chet
appreciate this.
189
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,974
That's a tennis ball.
190
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:15,766
There's more than
one kind of ball?
191
00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:19,179
I can't believe a
500-year-old princess
192
00:09:19,179 --> 00:09:21,101
knows more about
sports than you.
193
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,607
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
194
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,827
I'm freaking out here.
195
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,909
My mom is "Mommy Fearest"!
196
00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:41,411
(STUTTERS) Why wouldn't
she tell us about this?
197
00:09:41,411 --> 00:09:43,624
Maybe she tried
and I missed it.
198
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:48,298
I knew I shouldn't have
unsubscribed from those notes she puts in my lunch.
199
00:09:48,298 --> 00:09:50,340
I feel like I don't even
know her.
200
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,172
What else hasn't she told us?
201
00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:54,925
Does she have a piercing?
A criminal record?
202
00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:56,927
Are Bret and Chet
really her kids?
203
00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:58,809
I mean, I can believe
Bret is, but Chet?
204
00:10:01,061 --> 00:10:02,392
ASTRID: Shelby? Cyd?
205
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:05,686
What are you doing here?
206
00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:07,988
I specifically said
you weren't allowed.
207
00:10:07,988 --> 00:10:10,110
I am so disappointed.
208
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,943
I thought you had
more respect for me than this.
209
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:14,494
That wasn't what we...
We didn't mean to...
210
00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:16,997
Just go home.
We'll talk about this later.
211
00:10:16,997 --> 00:10:20,080
We're about to start
and suddenly I have some extra aggression to work out.
212
00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:32,012
Astrid, watch out!
Mom!
213
00:10:32,012 --> 00:10:33,513
(GROANS)
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
214
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,559
Sylvia Wrath and Hate-y Perry
just took out your mom on purpose!
215
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,062
The match hasn't even
started yet.
216
00:10:42,062 --> 00:10:44,604
I think her arm's broken!
What do we do?
217
00:10:44,604 --> 00:10:48,568
I got it! We'll jump back
and stop roller skates from ever being invented.
218
00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:51,111
Or we'll stop my mom
from coming here in the first place.
219
00:10:51,111 --> 00:10:53,113
That is way more doable.
220
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:56,406
We have to warn her
about those brawlers.
221
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,278
But we're back to
before the roller derby.
222
00:10:58,278 --> 00:11:00,120
They haven't
cheap-shotted her yet.
223
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,952
(SIGHS) You're right.
She'd never believe us.
224
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,494
And even if she did,
she'll still know we snuck out.
225
00:11:04,494 --> 00:11:07,377
Just thinking about
that look she gave me makes my eyes water
226
00:11:07,377 --> 00:11:09,049
and my stomach
get all queasy.
227
00:11:09,049 --> 00:11:11,501
Like how I feel after
all-you-can-eat jalapeno poppers,
228
00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:13,093
but less gassy.
229
00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:17,097
Cyd, I think
you're feeling guilty.
230
00:11:17,097 --> 00:11:19,389
Are you sure?
Maybe I just need to burp.
231
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:20,931
(BELCHING)
232
00:11:22,062 --> 00:11:25,065
No. Still feel bad.
233
00:11:25,065 --> 00:11:28,188
You should feel bad.
I could see that belch.
234
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,571
It's like cartoon stink lines
came out of your mouth.
235
00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:38,028
You have completed
your knight's quest
236
00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:40,120
and faced the wrath
of Paintball Preston.
237
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,621
(SNEEZES)
238
00:11:41,621 --> 00:11:44,454
Oh! He shot paint
up my nose!
239
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,327
Oh, man, he got you
in another place the sun don't shine.
240
00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:52,292
For your second challenge,
you must prove your bravery.
241
00:11:52,292 --> 00:11:54,594
Where I come from,
that meant sword fighting
242
00:11:54,594 --> 00:11:56,757
till one man
was sliced like...
243
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,178
Like...
Bread?
244
00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,140
You guys have sliced bread?
245
00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,472
That sounds like
the best thing since cubed badger!
246
00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:06,346
But since you cannot
sword fight to the death,
247
00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:08,608
I had to come up with
an equivalent test.
248
00:12:08,608 --> 00:12:13,273
I love tests.
I even look forward to my eye exams.
249
00:12:13,273 --> 00:12:17,908
Within this water
are 100 bloodsucking leeches I collected from the river.
250
00:12:17,908 --> 00:12:21,241
You must remove them
so that Bret and Chet can have their evening soak.
251
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,914
But beware, leeches go
straight for the eyes.
252
00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:25,826
But my eyes
are the windows to my face!
253
00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:30,080
There's no shame
in backing out.
254
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,792
Knighthood isn't for everyone.
255
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:37,087
You know, like cowards,
milksops, namby-pambies.
256
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:40,760
Nice try, Daisy.
We are knight enough to handle this.
257
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:45,055
(BOTH SCREAMING)
258
00:12:48,939 --> 00:12:52,022
Renaldo, be careful!
I had one on my face.
259
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,526
What about me?
Do I have one on me?
260
00:12:56,526 --> 00:13:00,070
No, you do not
have one on you.
261
00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:04,574
Good, 'cause that would
really gross me out.
262
00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:06,246
Mmm-hmm.
263
00:13:06,246 --> 00:13:08,368
(BOTH CONTINUE SCREAMING)
264
00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,547
Cyd, look at her.
265
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,340
If we don't stop my mom
from breaking her arm at the roller derby,
266
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:22,973
she won't be able to
clean the kitchen
267
00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:26,186
or do the laundry
or empty the dishwasher...
268
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,188
All the things
she loves to do.
269
00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:33,563
Shelbs, I don't think
she loves doing those things.
270
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,146
Then why does she spend
all day doing them?
271
00:13:39,149 --> 00:13:42,202
Oh, hey, girls,
I'm just about to go run some errands.
272
00:13:42,202 --> 00:13:44,284
Wait! No, no, no,
don't leave!
273
00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:46,246
(STUTTERS) I have to
interview you
274
00:13:46,246 --> 00:13:49,329
for my "woman who
inspires me most" project.
275
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,001
Didn't you already
do that on Cyd?
276
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:54,124
Dang it! Why do you
have to be so wonderful?
277
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,835
(STAMMERS)
278
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,008
But I was really hoping
you could whip up a batch
279
00:13:58,008 --> 00:14:00,300
of your famous
five-hour lasagna.
280
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,092
Oh, Cyd, I know
how much you love it.
281
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:04,724
Which is why I always
keep an extra one in the freezer.
282
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,063
Frozen lasagna!
283
00:14:13,063 --> 00:14:16,066
How could something so cold
make me feel so warm inside?
284
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,319
(STAMMERS)
No, no.
285
00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:21,241
You can't leave.
(CHUCKLES)
286
00:14:21,241 --> 00:14:22,903
Shelby, what is going on
with you?
287
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:26,076
I, um... I was wondering
288
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:27,407
how you know
289
00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:30,911
when you've met "the one."
290
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,545
Oh, sweetheart,
I've seen all the boys at your school.
291
00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:37,127
I promise, you haven't.
292
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:43,633
If we're going to save
my mom from getting hurt, we have no choice.
293
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:47,097
We gotta break the rules.
We have to sneak down to that roller derby.
294
00:14:47,097 --> 00:14:50,971
And betray the trust of
the angel who made this lasagna?
295
00:14:50,971 --> 00:14:53,103
There's sausage
on the bottom, Shelbs.
296
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:56,106
In the shape of a heart.
297
00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:02,022
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
298
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:09,659
There they are,
the brawlers that are gonna hurt my mom.
299
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,452
Have they gotten bigger
since we realized we had to confront them?
300
00:15:14,534 --> 00:15:16,916
Cyd, I think it's time
to let the lasagna go.
301
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,338
What lasagna?
302
00:15:18,338 --> 00:15:21,171
Oh, my gosh,
I'm still holding this thing.
303
00:15:22,542 --> 00:15:24,344
Cyd, we gotta get out there
and stop them.
304
00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:26,676
How? We can't go
out there without skates.
305
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,809
I have some skate stuff
from my ninth birthday party. Let's jump back and get it.
306
00:15:32,262 --> 00:15:34,224
Let's get out there
and save my mom.
307
00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:42,983
I forgot I can't skate.
308
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,988
And I forgot I quit skating
because you can't skate.
309
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,030
What do we do now?
310
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,782
Where are you going?
I don't know! The skates are driving!
311
00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:04,004
Well done.
You've scooped up every leech.
312
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,925
(SCREAMS)
313
00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:09,009
You've scooped up
every leech.
314
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:12,852
Now, for your final
knightly act, you must demonstrate chivalry,
315
00:16:12,852 --> 00:16:14,304
an honorable
and polite way of
316
00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,686
putting a fair maiden's needs
ahead of your own.
317
00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:19,599
Oh, that's what
chivalry means.
318
00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:22,442
I already knew,
but I'm putting her needs ahead of my own.
319
00:16:24,064 --> 00:16:25,775
So, where are these
fair maidens?
320
00:16:28,318 --> 00:16:29,739
I'm Fair-skin.
321
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,241
And I'm Maiden Portland.
322
00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:35,915
You must carry them to
the tub so their feet don't get soiled.
323
00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,997
No, forget it.
I am not doing that.
324
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,249
(SIGHS) That's okay.
325
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,331
Being a knight
is not for everyone.
326
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:44,464
Maybe you should just
go back to your little prank war.
327
00:16:44,464 --> 00:16:46,506
(COUGHING) Namby-pambies!
328
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,298
Oh, no, Princess.
Warm up your dubbing hand,
329
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:51,010
'cause you're about to make
yourself a couple of fresh knights.
330
00:16:52,132 --> 00:16:54,264
Hop on, Bret.
331
00:16:58,398 --> 00:17:00,810
I get motion sickness.
332
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,692
Carry me like a koala.
333
00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:06,446
Renaldo, I want to switch.
334
00:17:07,447 --> 00:17:08,908
I would, Barry,
but I'm done.
335
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:18,078
Aw, nuts! I forgot my novel!
336
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,499
(GROANS)
337
00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:31,801
I can't believe
338
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,135
how many things he forgot.
339
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,562
(ALL CHEERING)
340
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,394
Okay, so the skates
were a bad idea.
341
00:17:46,776 --> 00:17:48,528
We have to do something.
342
00:17:48,528 --> 00:17:51,451
We can't let my mom get hurt.
We have to warn her.
343
00:17:51,451 --> 00:17:54,244
But then she'll know
we came here even though she told us not to!
344
00:17:54,244 --> 00:17:56,456
She'll be disappointed
in us all over again.
345
00:17:56,456 --> 00:17:58,288
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
346
00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:09,839
They're going for my mom.
(STUTTERS) I'm just gonna tell her.
347
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,262
Shelbs, wait,
I know what to do.
348
00:18:38,998 --> 00:18:41,701
I always said your mom
made a killer lasagna.
349
00:18:43,543 --> 00:18:46,085
Cyd, that was a great line!
Did you just think of that?
350
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:49,509
Yes! I just opened my mouth
and there it was!
351
00:18:49,509 --> 00:18:51,461
Come on, we gotta get
out of here before your mom sees us.
352
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:57,427
(FANFARE PLAYING)
353
00:19:00,019 --> 00:19:04,474
Barry, Naldo, you have
proven yourselves knight-worthy.
354
00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:07,357
(BOTH PANTING)
355
00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:09,529
We did it. This whole day
has been torture,
356
00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,321
but it's gonna be
so worth it
357
00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:15,655
when I casually
drop my title into every conversation.
358
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,699
I know. Usually when people
call me sir, it's like, "You forgot this, sir"
359
00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:21,281
or "Sir, are you lost?"
360
00:19:21,281 --> 00:19:23,623
Or "You can't bring
a ferret into the theater, sir!"
361
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:27,497
But all that's about
to change.
362
00:19:29,048 --> 00:19:30,169
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
363
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,001
Please kneel to be knighted.
364
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:34,344
(BOTH BREATHING DEEPLY)
365
00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:35,675
(FART NOISE)
366
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:39,639
(LAUGHING)
367
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:42,892
Is this a part of
the ceremony?
368
00:19:46,606 --> 00:19:50,480
No, Renaldo.
I think she just pranked us.
369
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,612
Not bad for a princess.
370
00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:56,316
So all of this was just
to prove that you could prank as well as us?
371
00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:59,449
No. It was to prove
I could prank better than you.
372
00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:04,824
I'm confused.
Are we knights or not?
373
00:20:04,824 --> 00:20:07,587
Sorry, Naldo.
I can't actually knight people.
374
00:20:07,587 --> 00:20:11,090
But you two
were such great sports. Truce?
375
00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:12,502
(BUZZING)
(GROANING)
376
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,295
(LAUGHING) You fell for it!
377
00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,387
It's your joke
and you fell for it!
378
00:20:17,387 --> 00:20:19,759
(LAUGHING)
379
00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,431
Fare thee well, jesters!
380
00:20:24,684 --> 00:20:28,438
I'm not sure if I hate her
or I'm in love with her.
381
00:20:29,849 --> 00:20:32,402
That's the greatest
prank of all.
382
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,360
C'mon, we gotta make it
look like we've been here all night.
383
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,453
Quick, Cyd, fall asleep
on your homework!
384
00:20:43,453 --> 00:20:46,205
I don't understand.
Your mom didn't catch us this time.
385
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:47,627
Why do I still feel guilty?
386
00:20:48,368 --> 00:20:49,869
You shouldn't.
387
00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:53,172
We did the right thing.
And we got away with it.
388
00:20:53,172 --> 00:20:55,465
Hey, girls.
How was your evening?
389
00:20:55,465 --> 00:20:57,677
Fine. We didn't disobey you.
390
00:20:57,677 --> 00:21:00,510
What?
Stop looking at me like that, we didn't lie to your face!
391
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:03,803
Cyd, sweetheart,
is something wrong?
392
00:21:04,804 --> 00:21:08,558
Yeah. Um, we went
to the roller derby
393
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:11,771
even though we knew
you wouldn't want us to.
394
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,523
What were you two
doing at the derby?
395
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:15,855
Oh, we could ask you
the same thing, young lady!
396
00:21:15,855 --> 00:21:17,317
You really want to
go there right now?
397
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:18,318
No, I do not.
398
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,362
I thought I wouldn't feel
guilty about breaking the rules
399
00:21:22,362 --> 00:21:25,114
because my mom's not here.
400
00:21:25,114 --> 00:21:27,957
But I do feel guilty.
401
00:21:27,957 --> 00:21:30,870
And I think it's because
I kinda do have a mom here.
402
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,674
I... I disappointed you,
Astrid.
403
00:21:34,674 --> 00:21:38,007
And I'm so sorry.
404
00:21:38,007 --> 00:21:39,298
Oh, Cyd.
405
00:21:40,009 --> 00:21:41,921
I'm sorry too.
406
00:21:41,921 --> 00:21:46,185
But why didn't you
ever tell us you did roller derby?
407
00:21:46,185 --> 00:21:48,888
I guess I thought
it might freak you out.
408
00:21:48,888 --> 00:21:53,393
(CHUCKLING) Oh, it did.
At first, I was like, "That's my mom?"
409
00:21:53,393 --> 00:21:56,566
But then I was like,
"That's my mom."
410
00:21:57,607 --> 00:22:00,360
You were amazing out there.
411
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,902
I should have known
my kids would support me.
412
00:22:03,653 --> 00:22:05,284
All of them.
413
00:22:07,116 --> 00:22:09,078
Also, you're grounded
for sneaking out.
414
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,580
And she's back.
415
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:22,802
Good throw, Chet.
416
00:22:22,802 --> 00:22:24,764
Our ball went into
Preston's yard again.
417
00:22:24,764 --> 00:22:27,266
Well, only one thing
we can do now.
418
00:22:31,230 --> 00:22:33,433
Should we have told Barry
and Naldo that we had these?
419
00:22:33,433 --> 00:22:35,565
No, they would have been
mad at us after getting hit
420
00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:37,186
with all those paint balls.
421
00:22:37,186 --> 00:22:39,569
I mean before they went
over the fence.
422
00:22:39,569 --> 00:22:41,401
Oh!
423
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:43,242
Probably.
424
00:22:43,292 --> 00:22:47,842
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