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??
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00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,810
CYD: I'm going to tell you
the story about what happened
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00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,882
the first Christmas
I lived with Shelby.
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00:00:11,882 --> 00:00:13,914
It was two days
before Christmas
5
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:16,717
and Shelby, Barry and Naldo
were busy decorating.
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00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,389
Hey look,
Diesel's dressed as Santa.
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00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,753
No, I think he's just wearing
the pelt of his latest victim.
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00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,827
Great job, guys.
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00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,100
Only eight more boxes
of ornaments to put on.
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00:00:32,163 --> 00:00:35,366
Shelby, I think the tree
has reached critical mass.
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00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:38,209
Or critical Chris-mass,
if I may.
12
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,312
No? I may not?
Okay.
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00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,745
CYD: You may be wondering
where I was.
14
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,917
Out shopping for
Shelby's present.
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00:00:46,917 --> 00:00:48,879
She always gives
the most thoughtful,
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00:00:48,879 --> 00:00:52,083
most perfect,
most impossible to live up to gifts.
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00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:54,825
Like the year I got her
a cute sweater,
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00:00:54,825 --> 00:00:57,958
Shelby made me boxing gloves
with mistletoe on them.
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00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,131
I mean, they said,
"Kiss my fist."
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00:01:00,131 --> 00:01:01,792
How awesome is that?
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00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:04,765
So the next year
I upped my game
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00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,268
and got her really
comfy slippers.
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00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,070
But Shelby rigged my locker
with a slushie machine.
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00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,274
I gave myself brain freeze
between every class.
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00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:16,447
It was glorious.
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00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:19,480
So the next year I had to
up my game even more.
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00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,013
I got her a super cute
collectible stuffed cuddle bunny.
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00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:25,286
But she got me Diesel!
29
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:27,988
Who ate the cuddle bunny.
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00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:33,964
? I know it sounds crazy
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00:01:33,964 --> 00:01:36,827
? But time doesn't faze me
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00:01:36,827 --> 00:01:40,501
? Ever since it lost
its hold on me
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00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,373
? Hey, hey
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00:01:42,373 --> 00:01:45,075
? Hung out till midnight
35
00:01:45,075 --> 00:01:47,778
? Missed the curfew,
that's all right
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00:01:47,778 --> 00:01:51,282
? I'm back to bed
and right on time, you'll see
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00:01:52,943 --> 00:01:54,345
? Whenever
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00:01:54,345 --> 00:01:55,786
? You need me
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00:01:55,786 --> 00:01:58,349
? I'm right there with you
40
00:01:58,349 --> 00:01:59,790
? Whenever
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00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,252
? There's something
42
00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:04,195
? You wanna redo
43
00:02:04,195 --> 00:02:06,857
? The clock is ticking
but not for me
44
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:09,560
? I'm living in
a different reality
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00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,831
? Whenever
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00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,263
? Whatever
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00:02:12,263 --> 00:02:13,834
? Wherever
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00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,707
? I'm right there with you
49
00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:18,939
? I'm right there with you
50
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:19,940
? Hey, hey ?
51
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:25,015
CYD: While I was trying to
figure out the perfect gift to get Shelby,
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00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:28,249
Barry and Naldo were doing
some precision calculations of their own.
53
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,651
Rotate 20 degrees
up altitude,
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00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,082
four degrees right azimuth.
55
00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:36,427
Now transpose the poof.
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00:02:39,089 --> 00:02:40,391
Perfect.
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00:02:40,391 --> 00:02:41,862
I know Don wasn't
born here on Earth,
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00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,163
but he's assimilating nicely.
59
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,338
Renaldo,
what are you doing? Assimilating nicely.
60
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,003
Hey, are you guys doing
a Winter Wonderland this year?
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00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:54,645
No, no, no.
We are absolutely not
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00:02:54,645 --> 00:02:56,347
doing another
Winter Wonderland.
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00:02:56,347 --> 00:02:58,008
Don't you remember last year?
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00:02:58,008 --> 00:02:59,850
How could you forget
the elf war?
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00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:02,283
I try not to remember
bad things.
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00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:06,086
I only remember
what Chet remembers.
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00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:09,089
Barry, do you ever wonder
if we only exist in their minds?
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00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,922
Please, Renaldo,
nothing exists in their minds.
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00:03:14,225 --> 00:03:16,597
CYD:
Holiday shopping was a disaster.
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00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,629
How was I ever going
to get Shelby a gift
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00:03:18,629 --> 00:03:20,331
as thoughtful as
what she was getting me
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00:03:20,331 --> 00:03:22,403
if I didn't know
what she was getting me?
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00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,874
But then it hit me.
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00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,006
I remembered something
Barry and Naldo told me.
75
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,279
Sorry, Cyd, I have no idea
what Shelby got you.
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00:03:28,279 --> 00:03:29,580
Neither do I.
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00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:31,412
All I know is last
Christmas Eve
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00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,584
a neighbor's package
was accidentally delivered to the house.
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00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:35,586
Shelby opened it
by mistake,
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00:03:35,586 --> 00:03:38,289
and whatever was inside
gave her the idea for the gift that she got you.
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00:03:38,289 --> 00:03:40,291
So you see,
I have no idea.
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00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:45,596
CYD: If only
I could time travel to last Christmas Eve,
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00:03:45,596 --> 00:03:47,598
I could find out
what Shelby got me.
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00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:50,230
But how could I jump
without her knowing?
85
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,133
But then it hit me!
86
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:56,166
Only one of us has to think
of where we're going when we jump.
87
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:59,239
Maybe I could time jump
with Shelby while she was sleeping.
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00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,312
And she'll never know.
89
00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:03,143
What?
90
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,115
Be quiet, Shelby,
I'm trying to sleep! Oh, sorry, Cyd.
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00:04:09,019 --> 00:04:10,651
CYD: Only problem was,
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00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,983
I forgot that last year,
I didn't live with Shelby.
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00:04:12,983 --> 00:04:15,085
I lived four blocks away.
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00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,160
Cyd?
95
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,792
What's going on?
Nothing.
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00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,565
It's Christmas Eve.
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00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:28,138
This Christmas Eve.
Wouldn't be any other Christmas Eve.
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00:04:28,138 --> 00:04:29,940
That wouldn't make sense.
99
00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:34,305
And then I realized...
100
00:04:34,305 --> 00:04:36,807
Last Christmas Eve,
none of my stuff was here.
101
00:04:36,807 --> 00:04:39,810
If Shelby saw this,
she would know what I did.
102
00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,482
Shelby!
What?
103
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,484
Check out my Christmas dance.
104
00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:47,818
It's all over here!
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00:04:47,818 --> 00:04:50,090
All over on this side
of the room.
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00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,593
Don't look away,
you might miss it!
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00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,995
(LAUGHS)
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00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,027
CYD: I could not keep
this up for long.
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00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:04,675
CYD: So I had jump jacked
Shelby to a year earlier,
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00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:08,439
but I couldn't let her see
that half of our room was completely different.
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00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:12,112
Don't worry.
I had the situation under control.
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(SINGING)
? Christmas dance is the dance
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00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,186
? Do that dance
Christmas dance ?
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00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:18,619
Are you kidding me
with that dance?
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00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,622
Never stop doing it,
it is awesome!
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00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,824
Just trying to get you
pumped up for when I give you my gift.
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00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,396
Well, it's working!
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00:05:25,396 --> 00:05:27,428
I mean, normally,
I'm a strict Christmas Day gal,
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00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,560
but let's exchange gifts.
I'll go get mine.
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00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,561
Oh!
121
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,233
Cyd, what are you doing?
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00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,105
I just really
wanna go first.
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00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:36,807
Uh, mine's a pretty big gift.
124
00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:39,540
In fact, this is just
phase one of my gift.
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00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,712
Yeah. It's, uh, an amazing,
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00:05:41,712 --> 00:05:44,675
um, Christmas Eve breakfast!
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00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,577
You're gonna cook?
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00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:49,920
Last time you
tried to boil water, you set it on fire.
129
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,122
It was water, Cyd.
And you set it on fire.
130
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,526
Trust me.
It's gonna be great!
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00:05:55,526 --> 00:05:58,629
CYD: And thus began
the Christmas of lies.
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00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,394
All I had to do was keep
Shelby from noticing it was last year,
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00:06:03,394 --> 00:06:05,035
until the
wrong package arrived.
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00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:07,297
So I could see
what gift she got me.
135
00:06:07,297 --> 00:06:10,601
Fortunately, the rest of the
house was decorated exactly the same last year.
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00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:12,443
I got this.
It's in the bag.
137
00:06:12,443 --> 00:06:14,575
So what's this breakfast
you're making me?
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00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,776
It's in the bag.
139
00:06:17,307 --> 00:06:19,309
But this is muffin crumbs.
140
00:06:19,309 --> 00:06:21,281
Yeah!
From that hot new
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00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:24,254
muffin crumb place
on Sixth.
142
00:06:24,254 --> 00:06:26,356
Crumb-believable.
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00:06:26,356 --> 00:06:29,389
CYD:
I couldn't believe I made up a place with such a good name.
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00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,791
And on Sixth!
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00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,823
That's a good location, too.
146
00:06:32,823 --> 00:06:33,894
(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
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00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,996
Oh, I'll get it.
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00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,298
CYD: This could be the
wrong delivery that inspired Shelby's gift.
149
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,531
But I had to make sure
she didn't see it, or she'd know we were in the past.
150
00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:44,074
No, no, I'll get it.
You just enjoy your present.
151
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:46,837
You gotta lick the inside
of the bag. The best crumbs are the sticky ones.
152
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,346
"Astrid Marcus."
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00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:01,351
Forget muffin crumbs.
154
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:04,094
Somebody should open up
a store that sells bag bottoms.
155
00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:05,456
They are delicious.
156
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,133
CYD: Meanwhile,
also in the past,
157
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,836
Barry and Naldo were doing
last Christmas again for the first time.
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00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,137
Wait, does that...
159
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,039
Yeah, that's right.
160
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,811
NALDO: Barry,
check it out.
161
00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:22,673
It snowed in the backyard
on Christmas Eve!
162
00:07:22,673 --> 00:07:24,515
Of course, it did.
163
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:26,747
I built a snow machine
by combining water and pressurized air
164
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,579
and blasting it
through a Freon tube.
165
00:07:28,579 --> 00:07:30,180
Hah! Barry, come on,
166
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:33,854
the science
behind snow machines is dubious at best.
167
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,226
Okay, fine, Renaldo.
How do you explain it?
168
00:07:36,226 --> 00:07:38,729
I seeded the clouds
by shooting a rocket into the sky
169
00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:40,691
filled with
wintergreen mints.
170
00:07:41,892 --> 00:07:43,994
That is ridiculous.
171
00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:45,866
Then how do you explain this?
172
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:49,299
(BLOWING)
Okay, that is pretty minty.
173
00:07:49,299 --> 00:07:53,203
Regardless of how it got here,
this snow is perfect for my Winter Wonderland.
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00:07:53,203 --> 00:07:55,676
I think it's really cool
that you're doing this for the neighborhood.
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00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,678
It's so unlike you.
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00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,449
It's a social experiment
to manipulate the innocent during Christmas time.
177
00:07:59,449 --> 00:08:01,552
Oh, that's very like you.
178
00:08:01,552 --> 00:08:03,413
I will test the limits
of Christmas cheer
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00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:06,486
by taking two subjects
and seeing if their holiday spirit
180
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,519
can withstand
the dark side of human nature.
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00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:11,522
All I need are two pure,
untainted subjects.
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00:08:11,522 --> 00:08:13,924
I am pure.
I am untainted.
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00:08:13,924 --> 00:08:15,666
Whoa!
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00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:19,369
In fairness, I texted them
to walk over here and say that.
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00:08:19,369 --> 00:08:21,972
BARRY: Bret, Chet, thank you
so much for recruiting all your friends
186
00:08:21,972 --> 00:08:25,035
and helping make my
Winter Wonderland so merry and bright.
187
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,077
I'm spreading
holiday cheer.
188
00:08:27,077 --> 00:08:28,108
(SNEEZING)
189
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,840
I'm spreading germs.
190
00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:35,145
Now, watch
as my experiment
191
00:08:35,145 --> 00:08:37,988
sets the Candy Cane elves
and the Snowflake elves against each other
192
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:40,150
and destroys
their holiday spirit.
193
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,954
Chet, I am making you
my head elf.
194
00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:48,328
Say, don't you think
your brother's twinkle lights look a little crooked?
195
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,060
Yeah.
196
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,462
Straighten your twinkles,
Bret.
197
00:08:52,462 --> 00:08:53,934
Sorry, Chet.
198
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,567
Bret.
199
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:59,509
You gonna let your brother
talk about your twinkles like that?
200
00:08:59,509 --> 00:09:01,642
He's acting like he's
head elf or something.
201
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,443
I wouldn't take that
if I were you.
202
00:09:04,675 --> 00:09:07,177
Straighten your
own twinkles, Candy Cane.
203
00:09:09,319 --> 00:09:11,551
You Snowflakes think
you're better than us?
204
00:09:13,684 --> 00:09:15,025
Yeah, you do.
205
00:09:16,486 --> 00:09:18,689
Yeah, I do.
206
00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:20,530
You're not better than us!
207
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:21,832
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
208
00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:25,495
Wow. Never in
my wildest dreams
209
00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:27,798
did I imagine my experiment
would work this well.
210
00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:31,902
I mean, human nature has
overwhelmed the holiday spirit in a matter of seconds.
211
00:09:31,902 --> 00:09:34,805
Barry, are you sure you
want to do this at Christmas time?
212
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,647
You're gonna end up
on the naughty list.
213
00:09:36,647 --> 00:09:39,680
When Santa starts making
Alpha Particle X-Ray Spectrometers,
214
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,511
I'll start caring about
the naughty list.
215
00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:43,113
Whoa, Santa,
216
00:09:43,113 --> 00:09:46,216
I do not know this man,
I have never seen him in my life.
217
00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:47,788
We're still in for that
mountain bike, right?
218
00:09:52,022 --> 00:09:54,394
CYD: I knew the wrong package
was going to be delivered,
219
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,996
but I just didn't know when.
220
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,367
Whatcha lookin' for?
(SCREAMS)
221
00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:00,300
Is it phase two
of my gift?
222
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,072
If it involves
19th century carols,
223
00:10:02,072 --> 00:10:05,305
(SINGING)
? I would not be opposed ?
224
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,307
Ooh, I'm gonna get dressed
before the carolers arrive.
225
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,810
I mean, I'm not saying
it has to be carolers, but if it is,
226
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:13,483
(SINGING)
? I would not want to be in my fa-la-la-lannels ?
227
00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:16,216
Wait, no, you can't!
228
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,388
What? Why not?
229
00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:20,220
CYD: If Shelby saw
the bedroom, she'd figure out we were in the past.
230
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,392
(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
231
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:23,924
And if this was the package
that's being delivered to the wrong address,
232
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,756
she'd figure out
I jump jacked her!
233
00:10:25,756 --> 00:10:27,497
Don't answer the door.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
234
00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:28,759
Cyd, what is going on?
235
00:10:28,759 --> 00:10:30,701
Phase two is going on.
236
00:10:30,701 --> 00:10:33,433
It's in, uh,
the living room,
237
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,765
and it's under something.
238
00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:37,237
Oops, I've given it
all away. (LAUGHS)
239
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,669
That'll keep her busy.
240
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,846
"Norm Marcus."
241
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,278
Wow, Cyd.
This hat is amazing.
242
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:49,649
Thank you so much.
243
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,551
I had no idea
where she found that.
244
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,824
I'm pretty sure it was just
one of Chet's socks.
245
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,387
Look, Cyd.
I'm completely digging this.
246
00:10:57,387 --> 00:11:00,891
But it's like almost 11:00.
I just wanna get dressed before phase three.
247
00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,432
Shelby, wait!
248
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:10,540
I forgot this was the
Christmas Norm gave up and got everybody marbles!
249
00:11:12,803 --> 00:11:14,374
What happened?
250
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,645
Everything is gone.
251
00:11:15,645 --> 00:11:17,377
Your graffiti!
Your heavy bag!
252
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,080
Your charming mix of
clean clothes and food trash!
253
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,381
I can see the floor.
254
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,054
Why can I see the floor?
255
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:27,387
CYD: I had to come up
with an explanation and I had to do it quick.
256
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,789
We were robbed?
257
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,390
And I had to
make it convincing.
258
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,621
We were robbed!
259
00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:38,598
Barry,
you gotta see this.
260
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,071
I know. Clearly,
the negative aspects of human nature
261
00:11:41,071 --> 00:11:44,004
are stronger than the
altruism engendered by holiday cheer.
262
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,535
That's what I'm
trying to tell you!
263
00:11:45,535 --> 00:11:47,838
But in different
easier-to-understand words.
264
00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:50,540
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
265
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,389
What is going on?
266
00:11:59,389 --> 00:12:01,651
I think you started
an elf war.
267
00:12:01,651 --> 00:12:03,123
Well, at least
it will be short.
268
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,295
Get it? Short?
269
00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:06,797
Elves?
270
00:12:06,797 --> 00:12:08,228
Nothing?
271
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,529
If we're not gonna laugh,
then why are we here?
272
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,934
Those Candy Canes think
they're better than us.
273
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:17,167
But we'll show them who rules
this Winter Wonderland!
274
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:18,769
ALL: Yeah!
275
00:12:18,769 --> 00:12:22,112
What Bret said!
Except about us!
276
00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:23,413
ALL: Yeah!
277
00:12:24,574 --> 00:12:26,646
Barry, you have to
do something.
278
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,418
You're right, Renaldo,
I've proven my point.
279
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,480
No need for actual carnage.
280
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,853
You've all been
unwitting participants
281
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:36,186
in a behavioral experiment,
but it's over now.
282
00:12:36,186 --> 00:12:38,128
Draw your weapons!
283
00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:39,529
ALL: Yeah!
284
00:12:39,529 --> 00:12:41,191
I have all the data I need.
285
00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:43,063
Thank you for your time
and participation.
286
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,764
You can all go home now.
287
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,396
This is our home!
288
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:47,697
We live here!
289
00:12:47,697 --> 00:12:49,439
Well, I live here!
290
00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:51,802
But you live nearby!
291
00:12:51,802 --> 00:12:53,473
ALL: Yeah!
292
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,075
No, stop,
listen to me.
293
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,306
I'm in charge!
294
00:12:56,306 --> 00:12:57,948
What he said!
295
00:12:57,948 --> 00:12:59,479
Charge!
296
00:13:15,425 --> 00:13:17,397
Why did they only break
into the attic?
297
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,199
And why did they
only take your stuff?
298
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,901
You wanted them
to take your stuff?
299
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,632
No, I'm just
a little insulted they didn't.
300
00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:25,175
I got a lot of
nice stuff here.
301
00:13:25,175 --> 00:13:27,307
Oh, no, what if they're
coming back for my stuff?
302
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,708
We should call the police!
No, no!
303
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,310
They're not coming back
for your stuff.
304
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,711
Why would
they want this junk?
305
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,183
You think
my stuff is junk?
306
00:13:33,183 --> 00:13:35,345
I don't know what I think.
I've been robbed!
307
00:13:36,046 --> 00:13:37,817
(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
308
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,489
What if that's
the robbers? I don't think robbers knock.
309
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,351
What if they're
polite robbers?
310
00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:44,624
What if they were
brought up right? Then they wouldn't be robbers.
311
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,858
I'll go answer the door.
You stay up here.
312
00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:51,031
CYD: Finally, this had
to be the delivery I was waiting for.
313
00:13:53,563 --> 00:13:55,805
"For Bret and Chet."
314
00:13:55,805 --> 00:13:57,267
Dang it!
315
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,668
Is that an elf war?
316
00:13:58,668 --> 00:13:59,839
(THUD)
(SCREAMS)
317
00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:02,973
Well, can't worry
about that now.
318
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,077
Cyd?
What are you doing here?
319
00:14:07,077 --> 00:14:09,819
It's Christmas Eve.
Why aren't you at home with your family?
320
00:14:09,819 --> 00:14:12,282
I was in too deep.
I had to come clean.
321
00:14:12,282 --> 00:14:13,924
Because my family
is not at home.
322
00:14:13,924 --> 00:14:16,156
They're on a trip to New York.
And they forgot me.
323
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,787
Or I could just keep lying.
324
00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:21,431
Oh, Cyd, that is terrible!
325
00:14:21,431 --> 00:14:24,364
I'm gonna call your father
on his cell, so he knows that you're okay.
326
00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:26,196
(DOOR CLOSES)
327
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,399
Cyd?
328
00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:31,701
Mom, Dad.
I'm so glad you're back.
329
00:14:31,701 --> 00:14:33,373
Something terrible
has happened.
330
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,745
I know.
We talked to Cyd. She told us all about it.
331
00:14:35,745 --> 00:14:37,377
Well, don't worry,
I handled it.
332
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,708
I called the police.
333
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:40,280
Shelby, why would you
call the police?
334
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,082
Because they took
all of Cyd's stuff!
335
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,055
I know! And they didn't
take Cyd. It's terrible.
336
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,818
Dad, it's a good thing
they didn't take Cyd.
337
00:14:48,818 --> 00:14:51,992
Oh, I don't know.
I think Cyd would have really benefited from it.
338
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,694
And they really
want to spend Christmas with her.
339
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:57,827
But they're criminals!
340
00:14:57,827 --> 00:15:01,101
Oh, sweetie.
They aren't criminals.
341
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,503
They're good,
hardworking people.
342
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,576
They're just
a little ruder than us.
343
00:15:06,576 --> 00:15:08,238
You really didn't need to
call the police over this.
344
00:15:08,238 --> 00:15:09,839
It was an honest mistake.
345
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:12,782
Dad, what they did is wrong.
They have to pay for it.
346
00:15:12,782 --> 00:15:16,316
Honey, I'm sure they
feel terrible about leaving Cyd behind.
347
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,989
They must have been planning
this getaway for months.
348
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,653
What is wrong with you guys?
349
00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,660
CYD: So I told Shelby
we were robbed,
350
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:33,333
and told her parents that
my folks left me home while they went to New York.
351
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,967
But I had to stay in the past
long enough to see the wrong package delivered,
352
00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:38,969
so I'd know what Shelby
was getting me this year.
353
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:41,371
I had to get her a gift
just as thoughtful
354
00:15:41,371 --> 00:15:43,443
to show her how much
her friendship means to me.
355
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,015
(LINE RINGING)
It's ringing.
356
00:15:45,015 --> 00:15:48,548
That's how phones work, dear.
357
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,951
But first, I had to run home
and answer that phone before my dad did.
358
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,984
(PHONE VIBRATING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
359
00:15:53,984 --> 00:15:55,255
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Hello.
360
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,187
This is Ed Ripley.
361
00:15:57,187 --> 00:15:58,628
I'm in New York.
362
00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:00,490
And I'm an adult man.
363
00:16:02,532 --> 00:16:04,834
Hello, Ed.
It's Norm Marcus.
364
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,436
In Portland.
365
00:16:06,436 --> 00:16:07,897
Also an adult man.
366
00:16:09,439 --> 00:16:10,670
What are you doing?
367
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,473
It's guy stuff.
You wouldn't understand.
368
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,675
So you probably already
know this by now,
369
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,048
but you forgot to
take Cyd on your trip.
370
00:16:18,048 --> 00:16:20,380
Yep, I remembered
my toothbrush, forgot my daughter.
371
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,981
These things happen.
Thanks for calling.
372
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,715
Ed, are you feeling okay?
You sound kinda funny.
373
00:16:25,715 --> 00:16:27,457
There's nothing funny
about this, Norm!
374
00:16:27,457 --> 00:16:29,389
I left my kid
back in Portland.
375
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,592
Don't worry,
we're coming home right now.
376
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,564
We'll watch after Cyd
until you get here.
377
00:16:34,564 --> 00:16:36,126
You're my main man, Norm.
378
00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:38,528
Wow.
379
00:16:38,528 --> 00:16:40,400
I've always wanted to be
someone's main man.
380
00:16:55,785 --> 00:16:58,548
It's okay.
It's okay.
381
00:16:58,548 --> 00:17:00,390
You'll be home soon.
382
00:17:02,152 --> 00:17:04,354
It won't go back on.
383
00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:06,196
It won't go back on!
384
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,730
This is horrible.
385
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,862
You ruined Christmas, Bret!
386
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:14,964
No, you ruined
Christmas, Chet!
387
00:17:14,964 --> 00:17:18,608
No, I ruined Christmas.
388
00:17:18,608 --> 00:17:21,941
I pitted you
against each other for selfish reasons.
389
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,773
It doesn't matter
whether you're one
390
00:17:23,773 --> 00:17:26,616
of Chet's Candy Canes
or Bret's Snowflakes,
391
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:30,120
because Christmas is
about coming together.
392
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,882
Like this gingerbread boy
393
00:17:32,882 --> 00:17:37,127
and this reindeer
coming together to make...
394
00:17:38,988 --> 00:17:41,461
Well, not this.
This is a holiday abomination.
395
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,235
I took your holiday spirit.
396
00:17:45,235 --> 00:17:49,139
And I don't expect you to
forgive me, but I'm sorry.
397
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,771
We forgive you, Barry.
398
00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:55,105
I used my hand
as a tissue.
399
00:17:56,446 --> 00:17:58,278
You forgive me?
400
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,610
Of course they do, Barry.
It's Christmas.
401
00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:02,712
Wow.
402
00:18:02,712 --> 00:18:04,914
I guess I was wrong.
403
00:18:04,914 --> 00:18:08,518
I guess the holiday spirit
really is stronger than the dark side of human nature.
404
00:18:08,518 --> 00:18:10,820
But the dark side
is pretty strong, too.
405
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:13,623
Light him up, Chet!
406
00:18:16,466 --> 00:18:18,398
Barry Christmas, everyone.
407
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,629
(ALL LAUGHING)
408
00:18:19,629 --> 00:18:21,831
Really, so we're
laughing at that?
409
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:27,006
CYD: I ran back
to Shelby's house as fast as I could,
410
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,078
but events had
spun out of control.
411
00:18:29,078 --> 00:18:30,240
I don't know why she...
412
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,342
Why are the
police here?
413
00:18:32,342 --> 00:18:35,185
He's here because of
what those horrible people did to you.
414
00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:36,746
Honey, it was
a simple mistake.
415
00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:39,149
I called them, and they're
coming back for Cyd.
416
00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:41,591
Cyd, run!
Go to the woods where they'll never find you.
417
00:18:41,591 --> 00:18:43,022
I'll bring you snacks!
418
00:18:44,254 --> 00:18:45,625
Hold on, hold on.
419
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,726
Who's coming back for her?
420
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,698
The robbers.
Cyd's parents.
421
00:18:48,698 --> 00:18:50,630
Your parents robbed you?
422
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:53,233
Can you describe your parents?
423
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,266
CYD: Well, it was over.
424
00:18:56,266 --> 00:18:58,708
There's no way I could give
my parents up to the police.
425
00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:00,510
My dad's about this tall,
dark hair.
426
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,013
Cyd, what are you
talking about?
427
00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:05,675
You're right,
this whole thing has gone too far.
428
00:19:05,675 --> 00:19:07,717
I'll explain everything.
429
00:19:07,717 --> 00:19:11,050
But first, while I was gone,
have any packages been delivered?
430
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,653
Just this one, but
it was delivered to the wrong address.
431
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,585
CYD: And there it was.
432
00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:18,588
My whole reason
for coming back to last Christmas Eve.
433
00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:22,962
It's beautiful.
434
00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:27,367
Cyd, wait,
435
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,640
this is the package that
gave me the idea for...
436
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,402
What is going on?
Are we back in...
437
00:19:32,402 --> 00:19:34,043
Yeah, we are.
438
00:19:37,247 --> 00:19:39,249
I'm sorry, Shelby.
439
00:19:39,249 --> 00:19:41,411
I was trying to figure out
what you gave me for Christmas,
440
00:19:41,411 --> 00:19:44,083
so I jump jacked you
while you were sleeping.
441
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,755
You jump jacked me?
442
00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:47,156
"Jump jacking"?
443
00:19:47,156 --> 00:19:48,658
Is that a thing
we should be worried about?
444
00:19:48,658 --> 00:19:51,491
I don't know, honey.
I'm looking it up right now.
445
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,125
Your gifts are always
so thoughtful, Shelby.
446
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:58,728
You're the one person
in the world who means the most to me.
447
00:19:58,728 --> 00:20:02,602
And just once I wanted
to get you a gift that showed you that.
448
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,074
Because you're my best friend.
449
00:20:05,074 --> 00:20:09,138
"And then Shelby and I hugged
and time traveled back to the present.
450
00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:12,181
"And that's the story
of the first Christmas I lived with Shelby.
451
00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:14,414
"The end."
452
00:20:16,246 --> 00:20:18,047
(SIGHS)
453
00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:21,120
I wanted to give you something
that would make you feel
454
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,992
the way your gifts
make me feel.
455
00:20:24,153 --> 00:20:25,755
So I wrote you this.
456
00:20:27,797 --> 00:20:29,198
Merry Christmas, Shelby.
457
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,732
Cyd. I love it.
458
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,365
A story about how much
our friendship means to you,
459
00:20:35,365 --> 00:20:38,007
it's the best gift
you could have ever given me.
460
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:43,613
Now I'm kind of embarrassed
to give you what I got you.
461
00:20:43,613 --> 00:20:46,916
I mean, it's never gonna
live up to what you gave me.
462
00:20:50,079 --> 00:20:53,252
Shelbs?
Is that a bathtub full of chocolate?
463
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:56,586
I don't know where to start.
464
00:20:56,586 --> 00:20:57,957
At the bottom.
465
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,689
There's marshmallows
down there.
466
00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:03,293
Merry Christmas, Cyd.
467
00:21:03,293 --> 00:21:05,094
Merry Christmas, Shelby.
468
00:21:12,402 --> 00:21:13,803
What's this?
469
00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:15,945
An alternate ending?
470
00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:18,578
Your gifts are always
so thoughtful, Shelby.
471
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,250
You're the one person
in the world who means the most to me.
472
00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:24,183
And just once I wanted to
get you a gift that showed you that.
473
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,285
I know you love me!
474
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,887
Can't get mad at that!
475
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,489
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
476
00:21:31,521 --> 00:21:33,723
? Christmas dance
is the dance
477
00:21:33,723 --> 00:21:35,995
? Do that dance
Christmas dance ?
478
00:21:54,143 --> 00:21:55,184
Whoo!
479
00:21:55,184 --> 00:21:56,185
BOTH: Whoo!
480
00:22:11,861 --> 00:22:13,332
Why did she change
that ending?
481
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,504
It is awesome.
482
00:22:14,554 --> 00:22:19,104
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