All language subtitles for Best Friends Whenever s01e05 Rob and Slam.eng

Add two more milliliters,

add one more milliliter.

Okay, perfect.

This is the exact shade
of purple I'm trying to find a purse in!

That would so go with
your this color jacket.

So, it's time to assign
lab partners.

Oh, I call Shelbs.
We're awesome lab partners.

Look how well this bag
goes with this jacket.

Actually, I'm gonna
switch things up here.

I need some juicy gossip.

No one in the teacher's
lounge wants to hear

about lab partners
who get along.

Huh, all they want
to talk about is Mrs. Jensen's new baby.

I can't compete with that.

Nobody thinks it's cute
when I take an underpants picture in a flower basket.

Cyd, you will be with Tim.

Mr. Doyle, not Shy Tim.

You can't even talk to him.

He dropped his wallet once
and I tried

to pick it up and
give it back to him and he ran away.

It was the easiest 20 bucks
I ever made.

So, yeah, pair me
with Shy Tim.

You know, rumor has it,
Shy Tim's a real chatterbox at home.

At least, that's what I heard.

Okay, then.

Man, Mr. Doyle
is way into gossip.

Everyone knows,
Dishy Doyle loves the hot goss.

What are you talking about?

I'm just wondering who
my lab partner is.

Ah, I'm pairing
you with Rob,

who says he can dunk,
but I've never seen it.

Okay, then.

Oh, not The Rob.
He's so obnoxious.

Hey, Shel-bow
rhymes with elbow,

Shelbo-elbow, the dweebo.

That doesn't rhyme.

Then you're Sheebo The Dweebo.

(CHUCKLES) You got
a clown name. Look at me!

I'm Sheebo. I'm a Dweebo.

Better call the cops.
You just got robbed.

Trade with me.
I would,

but Shy Tim's wallet's
starting to poke out and I'm feelin' lucky.

? I know it sounds crazy

? But time doesn't faze me

? Ever since it lost
its hold on me

? Hey, hey

? Hung out till midnight

? Missed the curfew,
that's all right

? I'm back to bed
and right on time, you'll see

? Hey, hey!

? Whenever

? You need me

? I'm right there with you

? Whenever

? There's something

? You wanna redo

? The clock is ticking
but not for me

? I'm living in
a different reality

? Whenever

? Whatever

? Wherever

? I'm right there with you

? I'm right there with you

? Hey, hey ?

Can you believe
that the school is

allowing us to watch
movies at home

during school hours simply
because we called it

"Independent Cinema Studies"?

I believe a lot of things
that happen.

Thanks for asking.

We're gonna have
so much fun tearing apart

Spark Dynamo!

How can anyone be dim enough

to actually like a movie
about a space cowboy?

You have the right
to remain space dust.

I was charging my
Spark Dynamo belt buckle.

SPARK: The bigger they are,
the harder they punch.

That's physics!

I love that you put on
that ridiculous costume

to watch this
ridiculous movie.

Are we watching
a ridiculous movie?

I thought we were
watching Spark Dynamo.

It's the movie that
both started and ended

the space western
craze of January 1993.

Wait, do you really
like this movie,

or are you making fun of it?

Why would we make
fun of it?

It's the greatest movie
ever made,

starring my favorite actor,
Vance Carroway.

On the DVD commentary,
the director called him

"the only actor
I could get,"

and his mother called him,
"An interesting choice."

Hiya, guys. Is this
the Independent Cinema Studies?

I almost walked
past it,

but luckily
I kept my head up.

It's like my grand cousin
Charlize says,

"Always keep your head up
and your enemies closer."

So how did you find out about
our little film group?

We purposely didn't
tell anyone because... Well, how can I say this

without making it
sound bad? It's a...

Secret scam.
That's what you called it, Barry.

You also said not to tell
anyone, which is why my lips are sealed.

I heard about it
from Mr. Doyle.

Ah man, Dishy Doyle
loves the hot goss.

Marci, you're just in time.

We're about to watch
Spark Dynamo.

Ooh, I've never seen that.

Oh, it's the best.
You really are serious about this?

You like that movie?
Oh, I don't like it.

Oh. Phew.
I love it.

Aw, shuds! As soon
as I said, "Phew" I knew what was coming.

Well, there's clearly only
one way to settle this.

Fisticuffs?
No,

and I regret teaching
you that word.

We will watch the movie
with Marci

and let her judge
whether it's good or bad.

The universe is expanding,

so in a way, we're all
headed west.

BOTH: There, see? I was right.

I see your point.

BOTH: Whose point?

Who does Doyle
think he is,

splitting me and Shelbs up
just to create some gossip?

Shelby and I do
everything together.

And Tim, you should be
with your girlfriend, Jane.

And look at poor Shelby
over there.

Someday you can tell
your kids, "Hey, kids,

"I know you think
my life has been one big pile of nothing,

"but once in high school,
I was lab partners with The Rob."

Rob-five!

Okay, look, we have
to do this together.

Cool your jets, She-bo.
There's no together. I'm way too hot for you.

When I'm eighteen,
I'm getting a tattoo

of my face on my face,
so I'll be twice as good lookin'.

Rob-pose.

Rob, seriously...

Hey, you should get
a tattoo of my face on your face.

It'll fix all that.

Shelby, you don't have
to take this. Slam him back!

But I'm terrible at slams.

Every time I say, "Yo, mama!",

it always ends with
"is a very lovely lady."

Hey Dwee-bo.
Let's try this on for size.

Now you're lookin' fine.
What happened to you over the summer?

That's it. I'm gonna
drop him. No, no, no.

I don't want you
to get in trouble for me.

I'll try to slam him back.

Rob, you're so dumb,

you left the light on
in the bathroom,

even though
your mom told you to turn it off.

Why don't you
listen to your mama?

She's a very lovely lady!

Slam! Eat them eggs!

Thanks for the eggs, Dwee-bo.

The Rob loves eggs.
Num-num-num... Rob-Blammo!

(MIMICS FIRING GUN
AND EXPLOSION)

See? I told you
I'm bad at slams.

Mr. Doyle, this whole
lab partner pairing,

is only for
today, right? Nope,

this is for the rest
of the year.

Ooh, I'm gonna get some
hot goss outta this.

I'm gonna eat
Baby Jensen's lunch,

which is strained peas
and apricots now.

So, that, that's
kind of weird.

Okay, then.

How am I gonna get through
a whole year of The Rob?

Slam him back.
It's the only way to shut him up.

But you just saw
how terrible I am at it.

I'll train you.
We'll work on it for as long as it takes.

That's okay.
I'll just ignore him.

I'm She-bo the Dwee-bo.

(CHUCKLING) That's you.
That's what you sound like.

Rob-personation.

Teach me. Teach me
everything you know.

All right, we're gonna
train you to out-slam The Rob.

I'm forgoing all homework
to focus on this.

You always forgo
all homework.

Yeah, but this time,
it's to focus on this.

You ready?
I'm ready.

I put Rob's face
on this punching bag.

Let him have it.

Let's do this.

Meanie! Nerd!

Hit him harder!

Loser! Butt-face! Chump!

Faster!
Dork, dummy, doofus, dingus.

You're stuck in the D's!
Get out of the D's!

Jerk, Webelo!

That's a Boy Scout!

Goozit! Cheesle! Pigpop!

Now you're just
making up words!

Dork, jerk, butt-face,
loser, chump!

Nice combination!
I think you're ready.

Now, let's jump back
to this morning and give it to him.

Thanks for the eggs, Dwee-bo.

The Rob loves eggs.
Num-num-num...

Ew, next time you eat
eggs off my face,

don't brush your teeth
with a dog's butt. (CHUCKLING)

Then stop wiping your butt
with my tooth brush.

Standing Rob-vation!

Uh, um...
You're not ready, you're not ready!

You're so dumb,
all you can do is lay eggs!

Why am I yelling at a chicken?
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

Chickens have the highest
self-esteem of any animal.

If you can make a chicken cry,
you can take down anybody.

Drum stick?
More like dumb stick!

Is it working? Is it crying?

Who knows, it's a chicken.

Let's just go with yes.

Then stop wiping your butt
with my tooth brush.

Standing Rob-vation!
(LAUGHTER)

Well, your girlfriend called,

she said, "Ooh, ooh,
ah, ah pick me up at eight."

Yeah, well you can't even
call your boyfriend

because he gave you
a fake phone number.

(GASPS)
(LAUGHTER)

At least I got a phone.
Yours got disconnected. (CHUCKLING)

(WHIMPERING)

Why didn't that work?
You didn't say it right.

You forgot the
"whaaat!" at the end.

Yours got
disconnected. Whaaat! (LAUGHTER)

Well, um, uh...
Great comeback, slack jaw.

You might want
to close your mouth. The flies are gettin' out.

Wha-what!

Well, uh, I...

I'm tired of looking at this.

Shel-boom!

The Rob's got better
things to do.

The Rob out.

(APPLAUSE)
Shelby, you did it!

You out-Robbed
The Rob!

Shel-blamo!

Yeah, I out-Robbed
The Rob.

What's the matter?
This is what we've been training for.

I don't know.
It just doesn't feel

as good as I thought
it would.

I just got back
from the copy machine.

I made this for baby
Jensen's face.

That's what you kids
do now, right?

You put your face
on other people's faces.

Okay then.

Okay, Barry, you think
Spark Dynamo is terrible,

and I think it's amazing.

So I will recreate
the most epic action scene in the movie

to prove my point.

Pew, pew, pew!
Grr, grr, grr!

Pew, pew, pew!
Grr, grr, grr!

Renaldo, you did it.
You proved it's a great movie.

Really?
No!

"Pew, pew, pew?
Grr, grr, grr?"

And then what happens?

All right, you presented
your evidence

that Spark Dynamo is good,

now I'll present
my evidence that it's bad.

Meet the star of the movie,
Mr. Dynamo himself, Vance Carroway.

You have the right
to remain space dust!

Oh, my gosh! Mr. Carroway,

I can't believe you came
to our school.

I'll do anything
for my fans. (CHUCKLES)

Now, I heard there was
gonna be press here.

Because I need publicity
so that I can crowd fund my new movie,

Crabnormal Behavior.

It's about crabs
who ain't acting right.

The press will be here later.

I believe you have something
to tell my friend.

Yes, for $50,

you can get a tee shirt
with a crab on it.

For $75, you can get a crab.

For $100, I'll come
to your house, I'll cook the crab.

I'll give you $150
if you say that thing we talked about.

Absolutely, my new
Associate Producer.

Spark Dynamo
is the worst movie ever made.

I don't understand.
You came here dressed as Spark Dynamo.

Uh, you were so good in it.

You're right, I was.

But the material
wasn't nearly up to my talent.

See, I'm a classically
trained actor.

I could have been
Marcus Antonius saying,

"Cry havoc and let slip
the dogs of war,"

instead of
Spark Dynamo saying,

"Cry havoc and let slip
the space dogs of space war."

Wait a minute,
that is very similar.

They stole Spark Dynamo
from Shakespeare!

Well, if Vance Carroway
says it's a terrible movie,

I guess it is.

You win, Barry.
You were right.

Wait, Renaldo,
where are you going?

We still have to pick
the next movie for cinema studies!

And remember Renaldo,

in the words
of Spark Dynamo,

"Follow the yellow
brick splart!"

Which is stolen from...

Oh, you're kiddin' me.
How did I not put that together?

Thanks, but I'm not hungry.

Oh, did you think...
Yeah, right.

One of these was
for you.

But I guess if you
don't want it, I could eat 'em both.

I thought taking down
The Rob would feel great,

but I still feel bad.

Don't worry about The Rob.
He slams people non-stop.

All you did was slam back.

That's just it.
I don't want to be like The Rob. He's a jerk.

What's his problem anyway?

What are we talkin' about?
The Rob?

He was a nice guy
in middle school

until that girl
broke his heart.

A girl broke his heart?

Last Valentine's Day.
Right here in this commons.

The Rob put his
heart out there,

and some ice-cold Felicia
shoved it back in his face.

At least that's what I heard.

So, The Rob's a jerk because

some ice-cold Felicia
broke his heart.

Well, that's it.
We can jump back and keep that from happening.

The Rob won't become a jerk

and I won't have
to feel like a jerk.

This is perfect, Cyd.

I want to use time travel
to help people, not to hurt them.

SHELBY: All right,
there he is.

Now, let's watch and see
which girl he goes up to

and that's
the ice-cold Felicia.

Then we'll figure out
some way to stop her from breaking his heart.

To turn Rob into The Rob,
she must've been horrible.

I can't even imagine
what kind of

sick, twisted
monster she is.

Excuse me, Shelby,
these are yours.

No, those aren't mine.

But I just wanted to...
Give them to the girl you like.

I'm rooting for you, buddy.

Um, Shelby.
Ooh, I wanna see which girl it is.

Oh, I'm the ice-cold Felicia.

SPARK: It's always
high noon on the sun!

Well, I can't argue with that.

Hiya, Barry.
Sorry, Marci.

There's no more
cinema studies.

Renaldo got all sad
and then quit,

and why are you
wearing a skirt made out of garbage?

It's a new thing
I'm trying out.

Clothes made out of garbage.

My underpants are
half a watermelon rind

with a couple of leg holes
cut in it.

You might think
it's weird, but I like it.

You can't possibly like it.
But I do.

But you can't.
But I do.

But you can't.
But I do.

But you can't?
But I do.

But you can't?
But I do.

But you do.

This is just what happened
with me and Renaldo.

It's not about
whether the movie is good or bad.

If he likes it,
that's all that matters.

Thank you, Marci,
for opening my eyes.

But I didn't.
But you did.

But I didn't.
I'm not doing this.

But you are.
No!

You really didn't miss
out on much.

These are all coconut.

I can't believe I'm the one
who broke The Rob's heart

and turned him
into a jerk.

How did you not know
when he originally

came up to you
and offered you chocolates?

He said they were mine.
Like I dropped them or something.

You know I can never tell
if a boy likes me.

Hey, Ryan. Some lucky girl's
really gonna like those, huh?

So, what are you gonna
do about The Rob?

I'll just thank him
for the chocolates, let him down easy

so his feelings aren't hurt,
and everything will be fine.

We're going out
this Saturday.

Oh, Shelby, you didn't.

He was so sad
and it made him so happy.

And it's just one date.
And we can jump back to the present

so I can skip over it.

It's like it never happened.

Phew, I hope that worked.
Shelby...

(READING)

Yeah, you are, Shel-baby.

Let me eat some of those
sweet kisses off your face.

(KISSES)

Girl, you are
Rob-dorable!

(SOBBING) What have I done?

I really like
that garbage skirt.

Can you make
something for me?

I do have another
half a watermelon.

Sweet. I could use
some new underpants.

So Barry said you should
walk through there.

Whoa, this place looks
just like the Comet Cantina

from Spark Dynamo.

You have the right
to remain space dust.

Barry? You look just like...
That's right. Spark Dynamo.

SPARK:
If I eat any more beans, I'll be a gas giant!

Do you like
Spark Dynamo now?

No, no. Oh, heavens, no.

It's a turd. But I was wrong

for not letting you
enjoy that turd.

I'm sorry.
Thanks for dressing up

so awesome just for me.

No, I'm humiliating myself
just for you.

Well, I think
it's pretty awesome.

In the words of Spark Dynamo,

"Here's looking
at you, Zorblob."

That goat keeps
eyein' my garbage skirt.

And why is there a goat
in here anyway?

It's a terrible movie!

I can't believe I've been
dating The Rob since Valentine's Day.

I can't believe
there's a Space Cantina in the commons.

I'll have two of whatever
the goat's having.

I don't know what to do.
I don't want to hurt him.

I guess I'm gonna have
to stay with him.

We'll get married
and have two kids

named Little The Rob
and Little The Roberta.

And every morning,
I'll make them eggs

but they'll want to
eat them off my face because The Rob loves eggs!

Okay, maybe I was wrong
to encourage you to slam him,

'cause that's not you.

But you shouldn't be
dating him, either.

Yeah, you know what?
You're right.

I'll just be nice
and tell him, I can't date him.

Shelby.
Rob, we need to talk.

Me, first. I'm dumping you.

What?
You know, I was eating those kisses

off your face and realized
I was just fakin' it.

So The Rob is out!

And I'm gonna need
that shirt back.

I wanna give it to this little
firecracker over here.

(CHUCKLES)
(GROANS)

The Rob down.
The Rob down.

So pretty much in any
timeline, The Rob turns into a jerk.

Yep, not your fault.

Then, can we go back
and erase the timeline where I dated him?

That's what
I'm smackin' about!

(LASERS ZAPPING)

Quasar Kid!
Who did this to you?

Pew, pew, pew, pew!

You know, Captain Capricorn,
I think you and I are gonna be goat friends.

(BLEATS)
(LAUGHS)

You said it, buddy.

(GROWLING)
Pew, pew, pew, pew!

I love this movie.

But it's terrible.

Then you're gonna hate this.

Something's wrong.

Those crabs
ain't acting right.

(MAN READING)

It's about crabs
who ain't acting right.

We're going to see that?

Are you kidding?
Barry's an Associate Producer.

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