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1
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,370
Stand by altitude indicator.
2
00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:20,050
Check.
3
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:23,170
Stand by airspeed indicator.
4
00:01:24,470 --> 00:01:25,470
Check.
5
00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:28,110
Control tower to Sunquest. Do you copy?
6
00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:29,730
I copy, Control.
7
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,610
You're going to have a baby when you
hear this one, Sunquest.
8
00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:35,010
Yeah? Boy or girl? Over.
9
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:39,030
Looks as though you're going to have
some company. Washington is rerouting
10
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,810
Daddy Bird your way. Do you copy?
11
00:01:41,650 --> 00:01:43,170
Holy shit.
12
00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:44,850
Is this some kind of practical joke?
13
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,480
No joke, Sunquest.
14
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:50,400
Looks like you're going to be playing
chauffeur for a joyride to Palm Springs.
15
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:51,540
Do you copy?
16
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,940
Roger. Over and out.
17
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,720
What is bullets?
18
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:02,980
What is given?
19
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,400
Doggo.
20
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:09,120
What is this given me with this one?
21
00:02:09,699 --> 00:02:10,699
It's the same.
22
00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:21,690
Okay. Remember, no mercy.
23
00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:37,650
Impressor checks out.
24
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:40,170
Did I come in at a bad time?
25
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,430
You're not going to believe who just
called.
26
00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:44,530
The President of the United States.
27
00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:46,090
How did you know?
28
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,560
I was kidding.
29
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:53,140
No, I mean, Air Force 69 just called me
up. They want me to reroute the
30
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,140
president on the QT.
31
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,200
Why? Why you?
32
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:58,900
I don't know.
33
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,600
It must be some kind of top secret
mission.
34
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,960
Yeah?
35
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:08,020
Well, you think we have time for a
quickie?
36
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,120
What, are you crazy?
37
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,400
I never fool around about fooling
around.
38
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,070
and we just have to wait.
39
00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:24,950
Good idea.
40
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:48,400
You know, I haven't gotten laid since
the Pacco strike.
41
00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:51,700
Yeah? Well, your luck just ran out,
propeller nut.
42
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:08,140
Landing.
43
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,780
Commitment. On execution.
44
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:15,080
I am indeed in prep, my dear Ilsa.
45
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,720
Except for one minor detail.
46
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,340
What's that, Holmes?
47
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,060
You weren't supposed to kill him.
48
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,040
I didn't like where he sprayed his
nozzle.
49
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:25,820
This man was a professional pilot.
50
00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:27,940
You couldn't prove it by me.
51
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:36,960
Well, since you have elected to kill the
only pilot in our plan, our situation
52
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,260
has radically changed.
53
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,640
They call us radicals, don't they?
54
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,100
Yes, sir.
55
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,360
I trust that you will conduct yourself.
56
00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:49,870
in a more discreet fashion from here on
in.
57
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:56,090
We wouldn't want you getting out of
control, now would we, Liebchen?
58
00:13:59,410 --> 00:14:04,390
Air Force 69 will be landing at
precisely 1145 hours.
59
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:07,570
We must execute plan B.
60
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,110
Jane Cutter here.
61
00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:26,070
What? Tim?
62
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,350
Tim the mechanic?
63
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,550
Is this some sort of sick joke?
64
00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,470
Oh, how awful.
65
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,730
I know, I know. Well, I'm just about to
go on vacation, though.
66
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:44,070
All right, then.
67
00:14:44,490 --> 00:14:48,750
Well, I'll keep in touch, and if there's
any further developments, get back to
68
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:49,750
me, and...
69
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,000
I'll come and take you if you want.
70
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,520
Is that a deal?
71
00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,620
Mr. President, this is Captain Slifkin
speaking.
72
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,460
We'll be cruising at an altitude of 37
,000 feet and we'll probably be
73
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:05,560
experiencing some turbulence.
74
00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:07,220
Don't be alarmed, though.
75
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,400
I'll signal you when you and the First
Lady may move about the cabin.
76
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:17,940
Oh, God, I hope it's soon. I mean, I
gotta talk to a man about a racehorse.
77
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:22,170
I told you to take care of that before
you left Pennsylvania Avenue.
78
00:15:22,490 --> 00:15:25,910
Hey, how was I supposed to know that
we'd be over Arizona before I could go
79
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:26,910
party?
80
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,810
Mr. President, how do you drink your
coffee?
81
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:34,890
Why, like this.
82
00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:42,690
Wonderful. All we need is another sexual
harassment suit.
83
00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:06,970
That Ilse's itchy trigger finger is
getting us all into some trouble.
84
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,770
Now we must move to plan B.
85
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:14,430
I will pilot Air Force 69.
86
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:17,590
Gunther, you plan to detonate on
Terminal D.
87
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,350
You two, you will create the diversion.
88
00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:22,830
Yeah.
89
00:16:23,390 --> 00:16:26,650
Plan B calls for the detonator in
Terminal E to go off.
90
00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:30,310
No, that was plan B.
91
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,380
Nine! Nine! Plan C called for Terminal
A.
92
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,680
Nine dumb calls!
93
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,240
You weren't listening!
94
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,700
That is the emergency escape portion of
Plan F!
95
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,280
Get into the van!
96
00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:58,490
Hello, Mr. President. This is Captain
Slifkin again. It looks like we'll be
97
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:00,470
holding a fairly steady course from here
on out.
98
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:03,410
You and the First Lady are now free to
debuckle.
99
00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:05,770
God, it's about time.
100
00:17:06,970 --> 00:17:08,790
Debuckle? Did he say debuckle?
101
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:10,030
Oh, get me out of here!
102
00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:15,270
I've never even heard of debuckle.
103
00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:22,150
Yeah, Williams.
104
00:17:22,589 --> 00:17:24,829
Have you heard any further developments
on the murder investigation?
105
00:17:27,470 --> 00:17:28,510
Nothing turned up, huh?
106
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,730
All right, then. Well, I'm on my way to
the airport, and we'll just proceed as
107
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:34,730
planned, then.
108
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,010
I see you have debacle.
109
00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:49,430
Cream in your coffee?
110
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,520
Well, not recently.
111
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,880
You look like you can use a hand.
112
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,560
Whoa.
113
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,260
Where were you during those health care
reforms?
114
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,620
I think I was in the doggy position.
115
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:42,330
I see why they call these the Friendly
Skies.
116
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,440
Oh.
117
00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:05,780
Yeah.
118
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,200
For Plan B.
119
00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:00,980
I told you.
120
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:04,920
Not too crazy about this time bomb idea,
either.
121
00:29:05,540 --> 00:29:06,820
Yes, and I'm hungry.
122
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,380
Can't we stop for some schnitzel or
something?
123
00:29:09,820 --> 00:29:10,820
You wieners!
124
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,060
Terrorists! I suppose one of you needs
to use the bathroom.
125
00:29:31,390 --> 00:29:35,550
Okay, what terminal is that? Ma 'am, do
you have any jingling items or keys?
126
00:29:36,930 --> 00:29:39,870
Well, this is a fine time to be telling
me all of this. Ma 'am, give me that.
127
00:29:40,210 --> 00:29:42,090
No, we don't understand this, Mr.
President.
128
00:29:42,570 --> 00:29:45,810
I don't care, and yeah, right, like I'm
Cindy Croft or something, but please
129
00:29:45,810 --> 00:29:46,810
walk through again.
130
00:29:56,490 --> 00:30:00,650
Step aside, please.
131
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,800
Wait a minute. Look, you don't
understand. I'm Jane Cutter, head of
132
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:07,760
Hmm.
133
00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:10,040
Feel pretty secure to me.
134
00:30:10,940 --> 00:30:12,460
Can I go now?
135
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,200
No, I'm afraid not.
136
00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:17,040
I need to strip search you.
137
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:18,360
Strip search me?
138
00:30:18,820 --> 00:30:22,140
Here? Right now? You heard me, blondie.
Now drop your drawers.
139
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,420
Are you joking?
140
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:24,640
Right here?
141
00:30:24,940 --> 00:30:26,700
Don't you have any private dressing
rooms or anything?
142
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,280
No, those are booked months in advance,
sweetheart.
143
00:30:30,350 --> 00:30:32,250
But let's see what we have over here
first.
144
00:30:32,910 --> 00:30:33,910
My bag.
145
00:30:41,010 --> 00:30:42,450
Well, what do we have here?
146
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:47,590
Just a few things I am bringing to the
Bahamas.
147
00:30:48,150 --> 00:30:49,150
Oh.
148
00:30:49,630 --> 00:30:52,830
Well, I do believe that a cavity search
is in order here.
149
00:30:53,510 --> 00:30:54,510
Right now?
150
00:30:54,590 --> 00:30:56,470
Right here, in front of all these
people?
151
00:30:56,770 --> 00:30:58,730
Yeah. Why don't you go ahead and remove
these?
152
00:31:01,179 --> 00:31:02,179
Don't get me.
153
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:06,920
Well, do you wanna make your plan or
not?
154
00:31:24,060 --> 00:31:26,040
Are you sure about the dressing rooms?
155
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:27,640
Oh, yeah.
156
00:31:29,230 --> 00:31:30,490
They're being occupied right now.
157
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:34,960
Well...
158
00:34:33,219 --> 00:34:36,020
Thank you.
159
00:36:23,170 --> 00:36:24,170
Thank you.
160
00:38:33,370 --> 00:38:36,930
Make sure they don't have any scope of
them.
161
00:39:14,030 --> 00:39:16,050
Yeah, you like the way I fuck you, huh?
Mm -hmm.
162
00:39:16,850 --> 00:39:19,190
And this kind of... Mm
163
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:24,850
-hmm. Mm
164
00:39:24,850 --> 00:39:27,610
-hmm.
165
00:39:30,410 --> 00:39:31,410
Mm -hmm.
166
00:39:31,710 --> 00:39:33,090
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
167
00:39:33,550 --> 00:39:39,530
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
168
00:39:41,850 --> 00:39:42,930
Oh, yeah.
169
00:39:43,530 --> 00:39:44,530
Oh.
170
00:42:34,830 --> 00:42:36,290
Yeah, fuck yourself in the ass.
171
00:42:36,810 --> 00:42:39,470
Yeah. Yeah, fuck yourself in the ass.
172
00:42:39,730 --> 00:42:40,730
Yeah.
173
00:44:49,770 --> 00:44:50,770
give us away.
174
00:44:51,010 --> 00:44:52,570
Dilsa! Shut up.
175
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:55,130
We have no time for another plan.
176
00:46:30,030 --> 00:46:31,390
I seem to have a problem with my ticket.
177
00:46:40,770 --> 00:46:42,430
More cream, Mr. President?
178
00:46:43,770 --> 00:46:47,870
No, thank you. I don't think I have any
left, but thank you for asking.
179
00:46:50,230 --> 00:46:51,350
What was that all about?
180
00:46:55,610 --> 00:46:56,670
You didn't.
181
00:46:56,930 --> 00:46:58,170
Not another bimbo.
182
00:47:07,020 --> 00:47:08,740
Hello, Mr. President. This is the
captain.
183
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,740
We'll be making a brief landing en route
to our final destination.
184
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,020
You and the First Lady may now pre
-buckle.
185
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:16,920
Pre -buckle, de -buckle.
186
00:47:17,980 --> 00:47:19,960
Hey, that's airplane talk.
187
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,000
Listen, I have frequent flyer miles.
188
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,780
Like a man, I positively need to upgrade
to first class.
189
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,760
I would really like to oblige you,
asshole, but I have a plan to catch.
190
00:47:34,260 --> 00:47:35,900
What seems to be the problem here?
191
00:47:36,590 --> 00:47:39,630
Trying to explain to this gentleman I
would like to be upgraded to first
192
00:47:39,930 --> 00:47:43,870
Well, that sounds reasonable to me. Why
don't you let me hold that for you while
193
00:47:43,870 --> 00:47:44,870
you help this customer?
194
00:47:45,090 --> 00:47:47,330
I'll need to see a picture ID.
195
00:47:49,590 --> 00:47:51,890
Thank you.
196
00:47:53,790 --> 00:47:55,930
We have here a tennis club.
197
00:47:58,230 --> 00:47:59,230
Lessons to prepare.
198
00:48:03,430 --> 00:48:04,830
Library card.
199
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:12,060
I'm sorry, I still need to see something
with a picture ID.
200
00:48:35,340 --> 00:48:37,520
Splendid. Year 469.
201
00:48:38,510 --> 00:48:39,730
Right on time.
202
00:48:40,130 --> 00:48:42,750
But where's Gunther? Forget Gunther.
203
00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:45,550
His head's fuzzier than a warm low and
brow.
204
00:48:46,370 --> 00:48:48,910
For once, you are right, my little idol
wife.
205
00:48:50,130 --> 00:48:54,250
But Ilsa, this time keep the body count
to a minimum.
206
00:48:54,650 --> 00:48:55,650
Okay?
207
00:48:58,210 --> 00:48:59,790
Yeah, security cutter here.
208
00:49:02,870 --> 00:49:04,250
Which one of you is Gunther?
209
00:49:04,670 --> 00:49:05,670
That's me.
210
00:49:10,299 --> 00:49:13,680
Hello? Lady, would you please hand me my
gun back for a second?
211
00:49:14,980 --> 00:49:15,980
Thank you.
212
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:18,900
You two are coming with me.
213
00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:20,920
You're going to have to shoot her first.
214
00:49:26,720 --> 00:49:28,300
Dunk off, we are.
215
00:49:36,750 --> 00:49:37,649
Not again.
216
00:49:37,650 --> 00:49:39,750
Oh, shit. The pilot.
217
00:49:40,590 --> 00:49:41,590
Listen to me.
218
00:49:41,870 --> 00:49:43,010
There's been a change of plans.
219
00:49:43,290 --> 00:49:45,410
Bring me the hostages. Go to plan C.
220
00:49:50,690 --> 00:49:53,430
Allow me to introduce myself, Mr.
President.
221
00:49:54,310 --> 00:50:00,270
I am Hans Graber of the Brutal Brecht
Liberation Army.
222
00:50:00,730 --> 00:50:01,730
Who? What?
223
00:50:01,890 --> 00:50:02,890
What did he say?
224
00:50:03,330 --> 00:50:04,450
I don't know. He's a...
225
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:05,980
Hand grabber or something.
226
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:07,800
He's got a gun, honey.
227
00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:10,500
Nice suit.
228
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,160
Coffee, tea, cold beer?
229
00:50:18,860 --> 00:50:20,360
Something to eat, big guy.
230
00:50:24,060 --> 00:50:25,060
You two.
231
00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:27,980
Upstairs. Now!
232
00:50:28,220 --> 00:50:29,220
Come on, honey.
233
00:50:34,510 --> 00:50:36,470
Don't try anything funny.
234
00:50:37,970 --> 00:50:39,050
Lump!
235
00:50:41,110 --> 00:50:43,610
Lump! Put
236
00:50:43,610 --> 00:50:52,610
down
237
00:50:52,610 --> 00:50:53,610
the gunwolf.
238
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:54,840
Love attack.
239
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:08,940
Love attack.
240
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:10,300
Love
241
00:52:10,300 --> 00:52:19,120
attack.
242
00:52:36,780 --> 00:52:37,780
of the moon.
243
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,060
Good night.
244
01:01:41,770 --> 01:01:42,770
Not so.
245
01:01:49,270 --> 01:01:50,830
Bravo, Gunther.
246
01:01:52,770 --> 01:01:54,370
Okay there, grabber.
247
01:01:54,730 --> 01:01:56,070
Is it ransom money?
248
01:01:56,310 --> 01:01:57,310
What's your game?
249
01:01:57,950 --> 01:02:00,110
I will not be gangbanged by a terrorist.
250
01:02:00,370 --> 01:02:01,750
Would you shut up already?
251
01:02:02,130 --> 01:02:08,530
The illustrious Mr. James Baum of Her
Majesty's
252
01:02:08,530 --> 01:02:10,010
Secretion Service.
253
01:02:11,690 --> 01:02:13,810
My old arch enemy, Hans Gruber.
254
01:02:17,070 --> 01:02:18,850
Hey, what is this? You want to kiss us?
255
01:02:19,930 --> 01:02:21,330
What kind of mommy was that?
256
01:02:21,850 --> 01:02:23,530
Would you shut up already?
257
01:02:24,530 --> 01:02:25,990
I'm indeed flattered, Mr.
258
01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:27,210
Bomb.
259
01:02:27,270 --> 01:02:28,850
But when did I become arch?
260
01:02:29,330 --> 01:02:30,930
And when did I become your enemy?
261
01:02:31,210 --> 01:02:34,670
When our services learned that your
services were servicing terroristic
262
01:02:34,670 --> 01:02:37,330
services. I wouldn't mind a little
servicing myself.
263
01:02:38,270 --> 01:02:41,660
Unfortunately, Mr. Bomb, That
information will do you no good.
264
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:45,440
You see, I intend to kill you.
265
01:02:45,660 --> 01:02:48,780
You'll never get away with it, Grapper.
You know, when we land, the feds are
266
01:02:48,780 --> 01:02:49,780
going to be all over you.
267
01:02:49,820 --> 01:02:51,800
Like sauerkraut salesman at Oktoberfest.
268
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:54,340
You forget about my ace in the hole, Mr.
Baum.
269
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:56,200
Take the president.
270
01:02:56,500 --> 01:02:57,500
Lock him in the toilet.
271
01:02:57,860 --> 01:02:59,840
Go. I don't like you.
272
01:03:05,940 --> 01:03:06,940
Ilsa!
273
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:08,460
That's crazy, bitch.
274
01:03:08,700 --> 01:03:09,700
She'll kill us all.
275
01:03:09,980 --> 01:03:12,540
Gunther, watch Baum and the girls.
276
01:03:15,220 --> 01:03:16,880
James, you're so strong.
277
01:03:17,180 --> 01:03:18,420
Not like my husband.
278
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:20,740
Mildred is still the president.
279
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:25,140
Mildred? The two of you are.
280
01:03:25,780 --> 01:03:26,940
Well, I never.
281
01:03:27,740 --> 01:03:29,360
Well, never say never.
282
01:04:04,140 --> 01:04:05,140
One more.
283
01:05:58,150 --> 01:05:59,150
All right.
284
01:06:51,850 --> 01:06:52,850
Thank you.
285
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:38,560
Thank you.
286
01:11:02,860 --> 01:11:03,860
I love you.
287
01:12:17,260 --> 01:12:22,900
oh oh oh
288
01:12:22,900 --> 01:12:27,020
yeah oh
289
01:12:27,020 --> 01:12:33,880
yeah oh
290
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:34,880
yeah
291
01:16:29,480 --> 01:16:30,480
It will come back to me.
292
01:16:30,900 --> 01:16:32,260
It's like riding a bicycle, yeah?
293
01:16:33,460 --> 01:16:35,400
You've never ridden a bicycle, Tom.
294
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:39,340
Let me do it. Let me have it. Let me
have it. Let me do it.
295
01:16:41,280 --> 01:16:42,760
Let me do it.
296
01:17:37,580 --> 01:17:40,580
Well, I believe that was the intestinal
detonator going off.
297
01:17:41,280 --> 01:17:42,280
The what?
298
01:17:43,060 --> 01:17:47,200
Secret agent Moneypaint who stuck a tiny
bomb up Grabber's ass during that
299
01:17:47,200 --> 01:17:49,880
liaison. The flight attendant.
300
01:17:51,120 --> 01:17:52,120
Precisely.
301
01:17:53,040 --> 01:17:55,240
By the way, who's flying this damn
plane?
19636
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