All language subtitles for Wife.Swap.The.Real.Housewives.Edition.S01E02_[English] (SUBRIP)

I made you a little pillow.

Oh, my God.

I'm about to step into
someone else's life.

I can't believe I get
to be a real housewife.

I'm having breakfast
made for me.

Sounds like a vacation.

Oh, my God.

We can leave it
just like this.

Oh, my God.

This is my nightmare.

We are going to make
a raw vegan dinner.

- Raw?
- Raw?

- You got it.
- There you go.

There it is.

I am in a different
world, right now.

You're very needy.

Making our favorite, huh?

A little tagliatelle
with the peas and the ham.

- I'm Melissa Gorga.
- And I'm Joe Gorga.

We've been married
for 20 years.

Twenty long...

- beautiful-- yes.
- Amazing.

Amazing years.

Are you kidding me?

This is
Thanksgiving, everybody.

Oh, my God.

I wear many hats.

I own a clothing boutique,
a sprinkle cookie company.

I also have three kids,

a husband that's
like a child,

and a dog
that wears a diaper.

So, that's a whole
job in itself.

Hi, Tonia.

My daughter, Antonia,
is off to college,

and there's Gino and Joey.

You guys, I got
a letter saying...

See ya later.

Bye.

Joe is out of the house
at 6:30 in the morning.

He doesn't come home
until dinnertime.

I'm unloading
this whole trailer

all by myself.

Most of my days
are with me.

I have coffee, I work out.

I do glam,
and then I go to work.

This needs to be together
on, like, a rack.

Okay.

Come back home, and then
I get dinner together.

I feel like I need
to clean the stove now.

- Who cleans up your clothes?
- She does.

Who makes your food?

She does.

Who makes your bed?

This is-- this is bad.

If this house is
unorganized--

That's better.

Wet towels on the floor.

It kinda -----
with her head.

They're so messy.

A lot of my analness
comes from my childhood.

I didn't grow up
in a house

where everything
was run as tight.

I lost my dad
at a very young age.

I always said,
"Not in my house."

My house, we're gonna
eat dinner together.

We are gonna see mommy and daddy
home together every night.

And I keep it neat,
and I keep it clean.

This is what it's like
living with teenagers.

You're so OCD
on everything.

Yeah, but you've
gotta keep on that.

That's the word, OCD.

She's da-da-da-da-da,
it's too much.

Eat because I want
you guys to remember

how good of a cook
your mom is.

What I hope to get
from this swap,

is to just let
some things go.

Yeah, yeah, you do.

Oh, my God.

♪ Rock rock
rock on rock on ♪

♪ rock on rock on
rock rock ♪

♪ rock on rock on
rock on rock on ♪

That's my color.

- Girl, that's my color.
- Shut up.

I don't think I can handle--

you know the 1960,
1950 man come home,

woman do the cooking,
woman do the cleaning.

Uh, what?

- No.
- No way.

My name is Sean Clark,

and this is my wife,
my life, Michelle Clark.

We love being together
all the time.

I don't need
any personal space.

We have three kids.

We have Sean, Jr.

We have Phoenix.

- No.
- No.

And then we have Maverick.
We call him Money Mav.

The Clark household
is a vegan household.

Going vegan was
a health choice.

Oh, thank you, Jesus,
for juice.

And juicing is
everything to us.

Yes.

- And double Dutch.
- And hello.

We have
a family business.

It's called
Double Dutch Aerobics.

If you've never
jumped in your life,

this is when you learn.

I am a world champion
in double Dutch.

I have been jumping
double Dutch

since I was four years old.

So, I created a double Dutch
aerobics class.

Yes!

- Good!
- Go!

The rules of the house
are joy and fun is priority.

How do you know
if it's done?

- Throw it on the wall.
- Okay.

Is it done?

Even if that means
not doing the dishes.

If we're all miserable,
but the house is clean,

what are we doing?

Did you leave
your sneakers here, honey?

Michelle likes
a clean house,

but we don't-we don't
really keep a clean house.

Cleaning with kids is
like cleaning in quicksand.

No, you know where you're
supposed to put your sneakers.

I hope that I get
out of this experience

what a more
organized life is.

Oh, it just made
my shoulders relax saying that.

Ah-ha!

So, where are you going?

I'm going to Georgia.

Georgia!

I'm going
to East Point, Georgia.

Guess where mommy is going.

New Jersey.

You gotta do,
uh, hugs like this.

No, no, you always
gotta do the half hug.

Come here.
Come on in.

- Yes, oh.
- All right.

The only thing
I know of housewives,

they live
a very wealthy life.

You gotta throw
a glass here or there.

Goodbye, my beautiful babies.

Bye, mama.

And the house
must be flawless.

- I love you, Princess.
- Bye, mama.

I don't like leaving you.

You hate sleeping
without me.

I do.

I made you a little pillow.

Oh, my God.

You put yourself
on a pillow.

Oh, my God.

Worst case scenario
is if it's a milk house.

Ooh, cheese.
I'm very against dairy.

You wanna tell me
how many kids they have?

Will be there, like,
a two-year-old?

There gonna be infants?

I'm a little rusty.

I really hope they like
sprinkle cookies.

Hello?

Interesting paint choices.

All right, so, let's take
a little look around.

Well, I brought
sprinkle cookies.

We'll, uh, just
put those right here.

Let me just see
what they eat.

Do they own a fruit farm?

Oh, honey.

Oh, all right, design.

Okay, she is the star
of the block.

Oh, this is nice.

Ooh, those are steps you
just wanna go like this.

Ooh, oh, the juicing
I could do in this!

Oh, my goodness!

You better stop!

Who designed
the olive oil?

Oh, Melissa, you do not
need to put glitter

on the olive oil.

Okay, we're eating
baby chickens.

Okay, I see some cheese,
cheese, and more cheese.

Dairy-- you know
what I'm saying.

Dairy is the-is the devil,
if you ask me.

I feel rich and fabulous,

and this is just
the house to match.

This house is beautiful,
from the bar.

This is my house.
What would you like?

To the gym.

Oh, my thighs would
be popping down here.

To the pool.

The house is fabulous.

Babe, this is so nice!

They're not neat freaks,
so that's refreshing.

There's definitely
little kids here.

Definitely got boys.

I see footballs.
I see basketballs.

My house is
so, like, monochromatic,

and clean lines,

and extremely organized,
extremely neat.

Like, you can tell
that they live here.

This is where we keep
all the clothing.

Am I allowed to do this?

Oh, my anxiety.

I'm gonna have to...

I'm gonna have
to organize this.

So neat
and color coordinated.

Now, I know you don't spend
time doing this all day.

I like a clean house,
but I like a lived in house.

Do kids live here?

'Cause I don't know how
you keep it this white.

It's so white.

It feels like
nobody lives here.

Oh, these must
be the rules.

Okay, friend, let's do this.

♪ Let's go
what what what ♪

"Dear miss temporary wife,

"we are vegan."

"No meat, no dairy."

I'm anemic,
and I need to eat meat.

"We are finishing
our group juice cleanse now,

which means we have not
eaten food for ten days.

Just juice."

Impossible.

"In our household, we don't
follow traditional rules.

We have dinner on the sofa.

We'd rather stay up
late playing

over making it
to bed on time."

Wow.

"Joe usually gets home
around 6:30 for dinner."

Joe is gone
from 6:30 to 6:30?

When do y'all hang out?

"I do most of the chores
and tidy up the house."

"The greatest challenge
for us

is organization
and rules."

I got you, girlfriend.

"Have the best time,

and I hope you learn
from each other.

Enjoy my family."

Oh, Melissa.

Oh, Melissa,
I think we're friends.

I mean, the overall rules
were that there are no rules.

I mean, there's a rule
that they have to eat vegan,

so I can't even feed them
any of my sprinkles.

- Hi.
- Hi!

- Hi, everybody.
- Hello.

Oh, my gosh, how cute!

Oh, my, and there's
a little one!

Tell her your names.

- My name is Sean.
- We're both Sean.

- You're Sean.
- My name is Phoenix.

Phoenix.

- And what's your name?
- Maverick.

Oh, my God, I love you.

- You're so cute.
- Thank you.

She's very nice.
She's very beautiful.

Nail polish,
lip gloss, eyebrows.

Hi, it's so nice
to meet you.

Hello.
Good to meet you.

She's well put together.

Everything is in place.

You know, different
from me or Michelle.

I can't believe
there's three of you.

No.

Uh-uh.

No, no.

How do you pee in kitchen?

He has a diaper on
and still peeing on the floor.

Are we training
this dog correctly?

See what you did?

What are we doing?

Wifey.

Oh, my God, hello!

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- What's your name?
- Michelle.

Nice to meet you,
Michelle.

It's nice to meet you.

- This is Gino.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

Hi, Gino-- Wait, Gino,
you're the oldest boy.

Yes.

- This is Joey.
- Hi, baby.

Oh, he peed.

Yes.
Can we do somethin'?

The dog pees and poops
all over the house

- on a regular?
- Yes.

That's why he's got
a diaper on.

But the diaper
is not working.

Gotta put it on right.
Did you put it on yet?

Who? Michelle?

This is your bedroom.

- Yes, this is Michelle and I.
- Okay, okay, good.

This is where
you're gonna sleep, right?

Okay, good, beautiful.
Thank you.

- Okay.
- And here's the kids' room.

You guys have
a lot of books.

Do you read to them a lot?

I don't read to them
as often as I want to.

Sometimes we get in
too late.

You all get in late,
like, with them?

Yeah, so, we do
everything together.

Like, literally, you start
your day together.

One-- you guys are a team.

- A team 'cause--
- Wow, my--

Like, I've never
had a man help

with a child in my life.

- Get outta here.
- Like, I-- my husband never--

He's never changed
my child's diaper.

That's a problem.
That-that's a problem.

We don't do that.

Do you ever cook?

No.

You don't cook
her a nice meal?

I work a lot.

She's very nice,
very nice,

you know, a little
opinionated already.

I don't know.
We're just startin'.

It's gettin' to that time.

You guys hungry?
You cook?

- Do you make pasta?
- I do vegan pasta.

- Vegan?
- Yeah.

You know, if you're
cooking vegan, you're not--

you don't know how
to cook for an Italian.

But I'm gonna
follow her rules.

- Okay.
- And make pasta your style.

This house is
fabulous, by the way.

Thank you.
It looks like this every day.

She's psycho.

She's OCD.

She's gonna trip out
in my house.

- Yeah, look at you.
- There it is.

You got it by yourself?
You see that?

All right, we're
movin' and groovin'.

All right.

Look at that? We're gonna
eat all these fries.

- No fries for you.
- What?

No, these are for the kids.

Oh, no, no, no,
they look so--

- What?
- Melissa, don't do it.

- Don't do it.
- Okay.

You gotta just finish out
this juice cleanse with me.

Yeah, it's only one day.

- It's only one day.
- Okay, I'm fine.

It's fine.

Michelle and I are
on our last day

of our ten-day
juice cleanse,

and I know Melissa
is a housewife,

and it could be
a little high maintenance,

but I know I can get
Melissa to do it

'cause this is what I do.

I'm gonna live
by your rules.

If that's what
your wife would do,

that's what I'm gonna do.

I love a good juice,
but I get hangry.

So, I'm gonna
just cook the rest of these Beyond Burgers.

I'm hungry.
I'm always hungry.

All right, so, where would you
normally eat the dinner?

Right there-- right there
at the coffee table

- right over here.
- Okay.

So, grab a spot
wherever you can.

I just feel like
sitting around at a table

is a great memory for
you and your family to have.

I'm gonna wipe down
the dinner table.

Are you kids hungry?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.

Hi.

Antonia, you're gorgeous.

- Aww.
- Hi. Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

I'm cooking.

Sunday sauce is a thing?

What?

She didn't even know
what Sunday sauce was.

Wow.

Oh, my God,
I haven't touched animal eggs

- since the '80s.
- What?

- Salute.
- Salute.

- Ooh, here it goes.
- Can I have some?

Sangria without the wine--
that's what this is to me.

That's just the way
I like it, actually.

Mmm.

- Let's see how Michelle cooked.
- Let's see.

Oh, yeah.

- Not bad.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- I think it's good.

- Good.
- Okay.

- I'll eat it.
- It was fine.

I don't even have an opinion.

But it wasn't like mom's,
obviously.

No.

Who is supposed to
clean all this up?

- Me?
- Yes, you.

Can I help clean this up
for you guys?

No, we can-- we can leave it
just like this.

This-this--
we can clean this up later.

Oh, my God,
this is my nightmare.

Oh, my God.

We are going to make
a raw vegan dinner.

- Raw?
- Raw?

But you can change your faces
because you're gonna like it.

We can leave it
just like this.

- Really? Are you sure?
- Yeah.

I'm in sensory overload.

I am in a different world,
right now.

Oh, my God.

Like, we're just gonna
go to bed

and leave that
all in the sink, right now?

None of what goes on
in this house goes on in mine.

Why don't y'all
clean together?

She's just so quick with it.

Like, we put our dishes
in the sink,

and she cleans it really quick,
and then we leave.

So, I'm taking way
too long for all of this.

Yeah.

Hi.

I'm having so much fun
with the little kids, right now,

because I miss
my kids being this age,

but I'm also like,
"They gotta go to bed."

Good morning.

All right.
I'll see you later.

You're leaving for the day.

The day-- gone.

- Melissa.
- Hi, cuties.

Good morning.
I'm stuck.

All right.
It's work out time.

The silence is odd.

- Oh, yeah, smoothie time.
- Smoothie!

Oh, my God, it's not my rules.

Can I scream loud
in this house?

Would anybody hear me
on the outside?

Can anyone hear me?

It's a beautiful day.

Let's go, y'all.
Hello. Hello!

So, here's what I noticed
about Melissa.

She's very OCD.

Melissa--
Melissa, this is Livonne.

- Hi. How are you?
- Hi, Melissa.

- Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.

So, I want Melissa to see
what fun actually looks like.

That's what life is about.

It's not about doing dishes.

- Turn her around?
- Yeah, on the other foot.

Turn it around.
Turn around.

Turn around.

So good.

- Ow!
- Yeah!

So, I'm here to do
your glam for today.

We're gonna do,
like, a little zhoosh.

So, I'm gonna just pop up
your lips.

So, I have to shut up, right?

And I-I've been by myself,
George, it's a lot.

Contour,
body makeup, booby dust.

- All right, she's ready.
- Yeah, she's ready to work.

- Melissa, you're next.
- What?

- Get--
- Start in the middle.

Sean and the kids see this as,
like, a fun family activity

in the park.

This looks like a trip
to the emergency room.

That's what's gonna happen,
right now.

- Okay, ready?
- Yeah.

- So, yeah, do this.
- There you go.

- How easy was that?
- See?

- Did I do it? Did I do it?
- Three-sixty.

Oh, sh--. Good.
Oh, there it is.

There you go.

- Yes!
- How easy was that?

See?

She did very good
in Double Dutch.

It was, like,
the easiest thing ever.

- I wanted to jump on in.
- See? You did it.

Oh, my gosh.
Uh-oh, meltdown coming.

You, sir, voice.

I appreciate what an amazing,
hands-on dad Sean is.

He never gets a break.
Bye!

- We'll talk. We'll talk.
- Bye, Livonne!

And that's gonna change,
along with the dirty,

disgusting dishes in that sink.

You did fantastic.

Ooh!

- Hi.
- Hi

Hello.
This is nice, guys.

So, what does she do?

Trying on some clothes and
taking pictures for social media

'cause that's what Melissa
does when she gets here.

We get to dress up?

- Yes.
- We absolutely do.

Yes!
Yes, honey.

It's so...

Yes, you look hotter
than hot.

I love it.
I love this for you.

In Melissa's life,
you get to focus on you,

and there's a beauty to that,

but at the same time,
it is a little lonely.

And then the people
that do come in

are kinda on Melissa's payroll.

See, I could do this
once every three months,

- but doing this daily...
- Yeah, it's a lot.

So, we're gonna go by my rules
for the next 24 hours.

It's Melissa time.

- It's time to change the rules.
- I don't really do--

- I don't do--
- We've been living under

Melissa's rules for 24 hours.
Now, it's Michelle's sound.

First off,
while we're on my time,

we're gonna eat my kind of food.

So, tonight, we're havin' pasta,
real Italian style,

homemade sauce.

You know what's
the first thing in order?

You're not leaving me.

You will be with me
this entire time.

I have a conference call.
What time--

There's no conference call.
This is family time.

Oh, my God, I'm about
to have a heart attack.

My next rule is,
we are going to make

a raw vegan dinner.

- Raw?
- Raw?

Raw vegan dinner
but you can change your faces

because you're gonna
like it, okay?

We are going to make
a raw vegan dinner.

- Raw?
- Raw?

Raw vegan dinner
but you can change your faces

because you're gonna
like it, okay?

I do believe in bedtime.

So, we are having
bedtime tonight.

Your mother needs a little help
with organization,

and I just happen to be, like,
the queen of organizing,

but, in order to do that,
I have something very important

that I want to shop for.

So, I am gonna take
these three little ones

shopping today because--

You, sir, are so amazing,
but you never get a break

to just have
a little independence.

Yeah.

You can take a nap,
whatever floats your boat.

I could.

First order of business
is to take off this makeup.

I feel like I'm taking it off
and more is coming on.

Let's go shopping.

I have a friend that
was gonna meet me here.

You wanna meet my friend?

- Yes.
- Yes.

I really want to
get the Clarks

a dining room table,
so I had to dial in

a local friend in the area
to help me figure that out.

- Ahh! Do I spy Melissa?
- Hello!

With three babies in tow.
Hello.

This is Sean, Jr.,
and this is Phoenix.

Okay, hey.

I've known Melissa
for over a decade.

She runs a tight ship.

So, when I saw Melissa
turn the corner

with three young children,

whew, whew,
give me a Xanax.

You're in the dirty South.
Have you been eatin' good food?

- Um, they're vegan.
- Jesus.

Whew, I can't get
enough meat in my life.

They're vegan, so, um,
we've been juicing.

Child, forget the juice.
What about the gravy?

Why don't you take a look at
all the little toys and stuff?

- Oh, they got Barbie.
- Yeah.

Phaedra looks like Elsa.
She has blonde hair, too.

And I want makeup, too,
like the Housewives.

- These parents are, like--
- So sweet.

He cooks.
He cleans.

He spends every minute
with them,

but, to be honest,
the guy needs a break.

Yeah, yeah.

Look at this little table.
This is sorta interesting.

Oh, I see it.
Let me see.

- Oh, nice.
- Yeah, you can--

- I mean, they can--
- Oh, my God, they need that.

It's so important
to eat dinner together.

Honestly, sometimes
the only time I see my kids,

now that they're older,
is at dinner.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

The Clarks are gonna realize,
as their kids get older,

how important this is,
and, like, they need to

get used to that now.
Miss Melissa likes shopping.

I know that's right.

Now, let's go to
the toy store.

This was the toy store.

Okay, y'all, let's get raw.

What is this?

Nutritional yeast is how
we make vegan cheese

and vegan cheese sauce.

I literally thought
cheese was vegan.

How?
Are you serious?

Joey, forget it.
Joey, just stop.

What animal, like,
when you cut it open,

- has cheese?
- I don't--

Where do you get
your milk from?

- A cow.
- Cow.

I'm gonna let you
figure this one out yourself.

What's fun about this, is that
we're all doing this together.

Put the corn
in coconut milk.

You're gonna put the corn--

no, you can't say,
"Eww," yet.

- Wait until it comes together.
- Sorry.

It's rabbit food.

That's messed up.

You gotta say, "I love you,"
to the food.

I love you.
I love you, kale.

Get your hands in there.
Nice.

I love you, kale salad.

Say that. Make him say it.

I love my steak.

It smells good in here.

Okay, well,
we're just starting.

Thank God I know how to
make a good marinara sauce.

We've been cleansing.
I'm hungry.

- I'm ready to eat pasta.
- It's time to eat.

It's the only thing
I know how to make vegan.

But I don't like pasta.

It's okay.
I want you to just try it.

I got a little table
for us to-to eat.

- A table?
- Yeah, just-- it's just--

To eat?

Yeah, so, we can
sit like a family.

I want you guys
to start doing that.

I hope that that is something
that you guys will do.

Oh, yes.

If you don't mind grabbing it
out of the car, though.

Sure.

Thank you, man.

Out with old.
In with the new.

What about we watch a movie
while we eat?

No, we talk.

Okay, I wanna see you guys
try the pasta.

I wanna see if you like it.

It's good.

- Really good thumbs up.
- Really?

You like it?

Oh, my God, I'm so happy.

Phoenix is very hard
to impress.

It's like, whew.

It was yummy.
The sauce was very great.

I didn't know onion and
garlic made it better.

- Can I have some more?
- Of course you can.

They're literally
licking their plates.

I'm gonna dip it
into the tomato sauce.

You're making me so happy.

Nothing makes
an Italian girl happier

than when someone
likes their sauce, so ding.

Does anyone want to
tell a knock-knock joke?

- Me.
- Knock-knock.

- Knock-knock.
- Knock-knock.

- Who's there?
- Who's there?

Your temporary mama.

Forget about it.

Oh, this is
what-what was missing.

It's very simple.

I just never thought that
it was important,

but it's so important.

- Guess what time it is now.
- What?

- Bedtime!
- Yay!

Boo!

All right, let's see.

I'm scared.

All right, three, two, one.

It's got a little kick to it.

It's all right,
but this is my meal?

I'm gonna eat just this?
I'm hungry.

Yeah, I don't know.

Exactly what I thought
it was gonna be.

It's disgusting?
This is not disgusting!

You know, it's not bad.
You did all right.

That was not edible.

So, who is gonna
clean all this up?

Nobody. Let's go.
We're going downstairs.

Oh, sh--,
it's Michelle's rules.

Look at Antonia.

Antonia is--
she's starting to convulse.

If my ma saw that kitchen,
I think she'd have a stroke.

That's true.

I just feel like
I need to clean it.

Look at her.

You got a juice
for a headache?

So, who is gonna
clean all this up?

- Nobody.
- Look at Antonia.

Antonia is--
she's starting to convulse.

She's like,
it's gonna stay like this?

Do you feel like--
do you--

I just feel like
I need to clean it.

I miss my mom.

She hated saying that.

And I don't wanna
eat her food anymore.

It's bad.

- We're going outside?
- We're going outside.

I love when kids see
their parents act as children

'cause, you know,
kids think you were born grown.

- What is this called?
- Double Dutch.

Now, it's time to do
Double Dutch aerobics!

One, two, three--
start jumping.

Good. Keep jumping.
Look at me, not the ropes.

A little faster.
Jump. Good.

Criss-cross,
cross, open,

cross--
No, don't jump.

What the heck
is going on around here? - No, no, never--

What's going on around here?

I wanna know who messed up
that kitchen.

- The kitchen is a mess.
- That's what I said.

It's like a pigsty.

It looks lived in.

Melissa's not
my wife tonight.

Michelle is my wife.

- My name is Lysa.
- Michelle.

I just want her to come home
and see her kitchen, right now.

The house is in shambles.

If Melissa was here,
she would say,

"Go change your clothes.
Look at you.

Put your pants down.
Put your pants down.

Put your hat down."

Yes, I know that.

Ready? One, two--
Go a little faster. Yep.

One, two, one, two,
one, two, one, two.

My whole life,
I've been told what to do.

I love Michelle.
She's like, "Go with it.

You look like an idiot,
but you look great!"

Okay,
you're such a good boy.

Muah. Can I have a good kiss?
Muah!

Good night, sweetie pie.

Taking care of young kids again
is reminding me

how much I thrive
in this environment.

Like, I loved when my kids
needed me,

depended on me.
Like, I miss that so much.

- Good night.
- Good night.

I'm having a blast
with this family.

And yet, I feel like
cleaning up, at the same time.

I want to clean up

because cleanliness
makes you want to stay clean.

My stomach's got
these weird noises.

Like, you know, it's not
used to all this grass

I just put into my stomach.

So, today, we're gonna do
a lot of organizing

because we want mommy
to come home and be like,

"Ahh, look at this."

I'm just
gonna follow your lead.

- I'm-I'm open to whatever.
- Just follow my lead.

- I'm-I'm gonna fall back.
- Okay.

- So, break down the table?
- Yes. Can we wipe it down?

- Can I do it?
- Yeah, sure. - Yes, there you go.

These kids are such angels.

They wanna be there and help,
and I love that

because I'm like, maybe
they're gonna show their mom,

like, this is
how we want it done,

and they're gonna
like this.

I'm tired. I'm tired.

Beautiful. Now, you wipe it.
Now, you wipe it nice and dry.

Family, come on down!

- Oh, you're making juice.
- Good morning.

- You're making juice? Oh.
- Good morning.

No, I'm not making juice.
We're making juice.

We're doing this thing
together.

- My hands are hurting--
- Cut it up.

...from cutting all
that stuff yesterday.

Good morning.
It's Michelle's morning.

I'm not being
in this house alone.

- Cheers to health.
- Nice.

All right, here we go.

- Like it?
- I kinda like that, though.

Yes!

From now on, you put your
shoes away, right here.

- Look, together... and boop.
- Oh, that's smart.

What do we think?
Look at this.

- Oh, that is really cool.
- Isn't this great?

Yes.

Melissa showed us how
organized we can actually be.

The books,
I want them all perfect.

It's always better to go to
sleep when the bed is made,

so let's-let's do that.

When Michelle
walks through the door,

she's gonna love it.
I-I know.

And, she's gonna wanna
keep it this way.

Do we like organizing,
family?

Sometimes.

I gotta go to work.

- We have to go to work.
- No, I gotta go to work.

- No, we have to go to work.
- We?

We're doing it my way,
and we're all going together.

Work to Melissa is to get up,
to do a couple of emails,

and then go to the gym,
you know, right?

Just like you.

Why are you coming at me for?

All right.

It's raining.
You sure you wanna come?

Lead the way. Yep, 100%.

I'm already excited.

You just come along
all the time?

- Work together.
- I like it. Yeah.

I like my wife,
but I just don't want her to work with me.

- I want it all.
- You're very needy.

Joe is so old school.
You know, men do the work.

Women do the nails.
You understand?

And so, I'm gonna
prove to him

that that's not
how this works, okay?

I can lift, too.

And I'm gonna
prove him wrong.

- Come on.
- No, we need like, um--

Come on. Come on.
Come on.

No. Oh, we gotta move up.
I can't put my feet in.

Are you actually kidding me?

This is a construction site.
Are you really--

- It's a little deep.
- What the hell?

This is
a construction site.

Are you really--
Hold on.

- Tell me when.
- All right, stop.

A wife and kid should never
join you at work

because they're just--
they-they waste your time.

They complain.

Are we kidding?
My-my shoes.

You-you're gonna complain?
Really?

My shoes.

I've been saying this
for years.

- Really?
- Good.

Put that back there.

Joe! Is it always
this dirty here?

Come on.
I'll help ya.

Do I look stylish?

- There you go.
- Not bad.

Some colored tape,
you'd be poppin'.

All right.
Let's go to work.

I'm ready!
Come on, Antonia. Come on!

Uh, we can't find the pipe.

I don't know
where's the PVC pipe is.

Drainpipe--
you didn't find it?

- We didn't find it.
- It's gotta be right here.

- I wanna do this.
- You wanna do it?

- Yes.
- Okay, get in there.

It's my new wife.

You keep digging until
you find the white pipe.

Antonia, why don't you
get there?

Come on.
This is fun!

You are outta
your damn mind.

You wanna do
everything together?

- Everything.
- I'll show ya how it's done.

Come over here.
Now, you gotta dig.

Okay, husband, I see.

There it is.
There it is.

We got it.
Who is the best?

- We are.
- We're the best, right?

- Together. You see that?
- Together-- together.

It's better together.

Yay.

Whoa!

Michelle showed you
what a real woman does.

Come on.

A real woman says,
"I'm gettin' in the mud,

- in the dirt, with you."
- She experienced one day.

"I wanna see what you do."

Antonia,
what are you doin'?

I was looking cute.

- No.
- No.

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

We're family, honey.
That's what happens when you work together.

That was so good.

We're making
vegan sprinkle cookies.

I found vegan sprinkles.

We do this last.

Look, this is what you do.

Go like this
and you make a little ball.

Look at this.
See?

Did you like hanging out
with me this week?

Yeah.

- Did you have fun?
- Yeah.

You're so sweet.
You're so cute.

Why do I feel like
I could cry?

You're so cute.

I'm crying 'cause I'm happy
I got to meet you guys.

I'm such a mush.

I look at this little
innocent child,

and I bonded with him,
I feel like, a lot,

the last couple days,
and I need to spend

more quality time
with my kids.

Like, there's not
a ton of time left

before they wanna
move out of my house.

You're gonna like this part--
sprinkles.

Whoo!
This is the fun part.

You know what?
Let's just put 'em everywhere.

Let's just put the sprinkles
everywhere.

This is the best thing
I ever did.

It is?
Can I have a kiss?

- Yeah.
- Muah.

- Who is this?
- My husband-- this is Joe.

- Hi, Joe.
- Give Joe a hug.

Even though I'm excited
to go home,

I mean, wow,
it's bittersweet

because I'm really falling
in love with these kids.

Oh, my God, you're so strong.
Holy cow!

- We had so much fun.
- I appreciate it.

I appreciate all the knowledge
you gave me.

I really do.
Like, I learned a lot.

Say,
"We're gonna miss you."

- Miss you.
- We're gonna miss you.

I've learned this experience--
that I do need rest.

I need that downtime.

When you don't do it,
you don't know you need it.

When Michelle comes home,

I think I'll be doing
more of that.

Thank you, Melissa.

Miss Melissa
is going to Jersey. Bye!

Everybody wave.
Everybody wave.

all: We had fun.

- Bye, Melissa.
- Bye, everybody.

Don't cry.
He's so cute.

You're all right, son.

Aww.

I'm home!
The smell of fresh cut grass.

I haven't cleaned up.

My room's a mess.
The bed's a mess.

I don't know how
she's gonna handle it.

Hello!

Oh, what is this?
Work boots.

Why are there clothes
everywhere?

Like, are you ----ing
kidding me, right now?

Hello!

What is this?
Work boots?

Work boots on the floor
already. Hi!

Did you miss me?

- Look at you. You look--
- Joe!

What is all these clothes?
What's happening?

We just lived a little.
You was in my space.

- You know what living is.
- Oh, yes, I do.

So nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you.

I hope you had,
like, a nice day.

- I was, like, I hope you did.
- A what?

- I had a fabulous time.
- Okay, good.

Michelle is just, like,
full of energy. Like, "Hi!"

I was like, hi.
You're so messy.

Nice meeting you.

- Bye.
- Yes, bye, Antonia.

- Bye.
- Bye!

Should we--
you wanna go sit outside?

- Yes.
- Let's talk about everything.

First of all,
I am obsessed with your kids.

They're the most
polite children,

- the sweetest, kindest...
- Oh, thank you.

...all three of them.

We're together a lot.

- Yes, oh, well, I heard.
- We're together a lot.

But Sean needs
a little time, as well.

- I agree. I agree.
- And so do you. You both do.

One thing we do
have in common is,

- we love our husbands.
- Right.

And so, when everybody left,
and then Joe went to work,

- I felt like--
- Alone.

Yes, I felt lonely.

That many hours every day

without each other
is too long to me.

We do spend a lot of time
apart during the day.

It's too much.

But I gotta go to work.
He's gotta go to work.

I can't go sit in
an excavator.

I have to make
sprinkle cookies.

Yeah, no.

- How am I gonna do that?
- I don't know.

Just has to be
more time together.

You're saying we spend
too much time apart,

and I feel like you guys
spend too much time together.

I understand that.

So, let's both take 10%,
uh, to start.

- Agreed. Let's do it.
- Good.

Also, I feel like you need
to let loose a little more

and make more
intentional family joy

because your kids
are still here,

but the moment
is gonna happen

when they're moved out
of your space.

You make me wanna cry
because you're right.

I know.

But sometimes I just
can't let go of control.

- I think that's what it is.
- Yes. Yes!

But I think I'm inspired

because the cleanliness
made me want to stay clean.

Good.
So, like, at night,

I know you guys go to bed
with the dishes in the sink.

Yes.

I'd wake up already exhausted,
if I were you.

Like, I'd wake up, like,

wow, there's a lot
to freaking do today.

What you said is true.
I wake up exhausted.

I wake up exhausted
just seeing all the mess.

First of all, just to take
a look at what to--

Yes, because
I can't keep up.

I know. I know.
It's not--

I feel like I'm in quicksand,
trying to keep up.

It-it-- oh, it's not easy
to do all that.

It just has to become
part of your everyday routine.

I know.

If you keep up with it
every day and every night,

I promise you it'll be habit,
and I am rooting for you.

And, hopefully, like, we both
learn a little something.

- Yeah.
- We did this. We did this.

- We did it!
- We did it.

My children
are watching me.

Tell them all
I said hi, those babies,

- and give 'em a kiss for me.
- All right, bye.

Cleaning up, and being tidy,
and being organized

is not just for me.
It's setting an example.

Aww.

Oh, Nico, I hope she keeps
her house clean.

I really hope she does.

And, yes, I am obsessed
with my husband,

but he also needs
that time for him,

and I wanna give that
to him.

It's time to say goodbye.

- Gino, hi, honey.
- Hi.

I did watch Sean
really spend quality time

with his children,

and everything was like
a teaching moment.

I learned a lot about that.

Do you wanna spend more
quality time together?

What is wrong with her?

I'm with my kids a lot,
but, like, we need to have

different conversations
when we are together.

We need to dig
a little deeper.

It's not just about
being with them.

It's like, what are you guys
talking about

when you are together?
And that was big for me.

Hey, cook a steak.

I've been vegan for 48 hours,

and I've been waiting
to give you the meat.

No, wait,
this is not gonna--

- ah, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
- Oh, my God.

Your daughter is
standing right there.

I have to leave.

- Oh, my goodness!
- Mommy!

- Oh, we can eat at the table!
- I know! I know.

I'm gonna get a table set,

like a plate-- a plate set.

Yes, to match.

Oh, I'm going--
I'm going all out.

Why is there always
sprinkles everywhere?

Ridiculous.

It's everywhere, literally.

Where is my purse?

I cannot believe
I am about to be a housewife.

Not my style.

Feels I could have walked into
Pottery Barn.

Don't wanna judge.
I'm like...

There's lots of poop
in here.

This... This is not
what I envisioned.

I have never left Erik alone
with our three children.

Oh!

It's just, like,
frightening.

This is not gonna fly.