Original subtitles

What

was I thinking?

foreign

client.

Loss. Loss.

Right on time.

>> Yes. A bit out of the way. I hope we

don't miss the news.

>> Yeah, you won't miss the news. You

>> all right?

>> For God's sake. Slow down, Bill. You're

a maniac.

>> We're late.

>> To hell with that. I'm only having a

drink. I'd like to be alive to enjoy it.

[Music]

H

>> get I want you to know that our

commanding officers just tried to kill

me.

>> Man's a maniac.

>> Here is the news read by Alvaridel. An

official announcement from Washington

about 2 hours ago.

>> Think we can afford a new

>> Americans have made landings at Al and

by Christmas.

>> That'll take the pressure off back home.

Well, they promised a second front

during the night. They were made with

British naval and air support. Many

divisions of the British army are on

their way to reinforce them. The supreme

commander is General Eisenhower.

>> Michael

[Applause]

drink.

And then the bosom and went,

>> "Oh, Lewis, I didn't see you sitting."

>> Lewis, haven't seen you for weeks. Where

have you been?

>> Another hush hush team attempting to

produce petrol from cow manure.

>> Does it sound promising?

>> We get our best results from sacred

cows. Oh, things at S OE

>> splendid nearly every night. An

electrifying bridge game.

>> Good old top secret Colonel Pew. You're

lucky you're in uniform. I'm just a

bloody tea planter. What's tea got to do

with the war?

>> I'm told it's good for morale.

>> SOE, special operations executive.

>> What the devil you chaps do?

>> Objects.

>> Come on.

>> All right. Unusual operations.

>> You sound like a ruddy abortionist.

Not a bad description.

>> Well, I see you're having lunch, so I'll

trot along.

>> God bless. See you soon. Hope so.

>> Thanks for the drink, Bill. And don't

offer me another lift, ever.

>> Red, don't you owe me that all about?

>> Well, I scared the hell out of him by

driving too fast. My own frustration, I

suppose. I'm just as envious of you as

he is. You know, being the managing

director of a chemical plant is not

exactly my idea of a glorious

contribution to the law. What would you

like me to say? You've been classified

essential where you are. If you want to

consider me lucky to be doing what I'm

doing, go ahead.

>> When I think what happened to your wife

and your daughter in co.

>> Oh, I'm sorry, Lewis. I didn't mean to

open up old wounds. Well, you do have

some opportunity for revenge.

>> Oh, good God.

If I have to kill some poor devils, it's

not revenge.

Doesn't really diminish my anger or my

grief.

Not one bit. Now, what do you say we try

to have a pleasant lunch?

>> I'm sorry,

>> how's Doris?

>> Oh, she's fine. She's fine.

>> Louis, if you should ever hear of a job

that's so odd that nobody else would

want to get involved in it, do think of

the Kolkata lighor.

It's not very likely. No, I know. We're

all civilians these days, and we're a

little thin on top and thick in the

middle.

I guarantee you every one of those

fellas would pull his own weight. That's

not an intentional joke. You will

remember it, won't you? Just in case.

I don't forget.

Morning

[Music]

bro.

>> Morning.

[Music]

Good morning, Miss McKenzie.

>> Morning, Helen.

>> Colonel Q and Captain Stewart are here.

>> Oh, thank you.

>> Well, Lewis, how did things go in

Kolkata?

>> All set, sir. By tomorrow night, Force

136 should be behind Japanese lines in

Burma, blowing up various little items.

>> Good. All right, let's get down to new

business. I see you've been studying the

admiral's urgent request. Astonishing.

46 freighters sunk by German submarines

in the Indian Ocean in the past month.

Uberts know exactly where and when to

strike. Incredibly accurate information,

etc., etc.

>> Radio monitoring finally managed to home

in on a powerful transmitter 400 miles

south of Bombay just last night.

>> What do you suppose took them so long,

sir?

>> I was not the reason why.

>> Well, here we go, Gavin. Off to blow up

a transmitter.

>> Not exactly. The bloody thing is not in

India proper. It's in Goa, damn it.

Somewhere in the Magoa harbor. Neutral

territory, Portuguese colony.

>> That's a bit tricky

>> actually. Also, our people haven't been

able to break the code.

>> If radio monitoring are right and the

transmitter is actually in the harbor,

then it must be on a ship.

>> You don't suppose that it could be on

one of the three German freighters in

turn there?

>> But the Portuguese authorities

dismantled those ship's radios when they

gave them permission to stay there. Yes,

but how do we know that one of them

doesn't have another transmitter hidden

somewhere aboard?

>> We don't. And here we are with the

strictest orders never to violate

Portugal's neutrality.

>> Well, then what do you suggest we do

about it, sir?

>> You can sit here and froth at the mouth,

or we can try and find out where all

that information that's transmitted to

those new boats originates.

>> I have a suggestion, sir. Gavin and I

could spend a day or two in Dor poking

about. See what we can dig up.

>> Dig up or pick up? Oh, he uh speaks for

himself, sir.

>> I speak for myself. Yes. Well, I was

speaking for you.

>> Yes. All right. I suppose this is top

priority.

Go ahead and dig.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Ah, deep cover.

[Music]

Well, that's the three of them.

But which one has the transmitter?

[Music]

There's our old friend.

>> A gentleman. A great pleasure to see you

again.

>> Please.

How's the heart, man?

>> My heart?

>> I never

>> You joke with me.

>> Not exactly. See B. Well, you look like

your feet hurt.

>> The Germans outside. Which ship are they

from?

>> The Aaron Felts.

>> Captain Roofer.

>> Very charming gentleman, actually.

>> No doubt. No doubt. Well, what's been

happening?

>> Nothing. Just the usual.

>> Usual what? People coming and going,

eating and drinking, everything normal.

>> How's the uh gambling, Manuel?

>> A little slow. And naturally, the police

keep asking for more and more.

>> That's too bad. Let's get to the point,

Manuel. My friend here has a nice fat

packet of mosquitoes to lose on your

wheel.

>> Personally, I would wish for him to win.

Manuel,

>> how much are we talking about?

forward and then I commit suicide right

on your doorstep.

>> By the same token, I could give it to

you here right now.

>> No, no, senior. No,

>> maybe it would be more fun to lose it

bit by bit. What do you think?

>> Yes, senior.

>> Meanwhile, you and I will be having a

pleasant little chat in your private

office.

Please,

>> I'll be one minute.

>> No more bets, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's

go down.

>> Thank

you. Ladies and gentlemen, place your

bets.

Good luck.

>> No more bets.

>> It's bad luck to say that.

>> Oh, instantly retracted.

>> Rouge peripas 34 head and even.

>> Must have been the instant refraction.

Or maybe it was the good luck to begin

with.

>> Or how about plain destin?

>> I think I'll try that again.

>> Good luck.

>> No more bets.

>> I hope so.

How about celebrating my impending loss

with a bottle of champagne?

>> Thank you. I don't drink when I gamble.

>> Smoke.

>> Tap dance.

>> Not recently.

>> How about the tea in the large?

>> Do you do hear those little clicking

sounds?

>> 31 black and

>> By the way, my name is Gavin Stewart. I

take it that that is a wedding ring.

That's what it is.

>> And you are Mrs.

>> Cromwell.

>> Let me hazard a guess. Mrs. Cromwell,

you are here in Go on holiday and your

husband is an acutely large gentleman,

probably sitting at the back of our

table.

>> No, I live here and my husband is dead.

>> Oh, sorry. I tend to be

>> over charming.

>> I really am sorry.

>> There's no need to be.

>> Let's watch our money disappear.

No more bets.

>> Manuel, you're not thinking hard enough.

>> Doing my best.

>> Let's try again. We're talking about

Indians who visit your outdoor cafe

frequently.

>> Yes, quite a few. I said so. It's a very

popular.

>> We're talking about someone else.

Probably a German who might just pass by

at the same time every day.

>> It's not something I know might drop in

for a few minutes or who might be

followed down the street. by one of the

ins. Look, I'd really like to help you,

but I don't notice these things. I'm too

busy in the place.

>> Manuel,

listen. Whatever you pay the police to

let you keep the gambling going, I can

double it to have them shut you down.

So, take a bit of friendly advice.

I want you to notice these things.

>> Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

really have faith.

>> Hope would be a better word.

>> Would you mind if I asked what you're

doing in

>> Losing

but with incredible grace. Oh, actually

I am here on business just for the day.

I have to be back in Bombay tomorrow

night. It may sound quaint, but I al

pass 22 black and even that does it.

>> You've lost quite a lot. I'm sorry.

>> Oh, the way I look at it, I won. I met

you and I would like to meet you again.

>> Perhaps you will. On your next trip,

I'll be here.

place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

>> Senor, I'm very frightened.

>> Manuel, I promised you that no one will

ever know you've said anything at all.

>> You don't even know their names. All you

know is that an Indian with a mold on

his cheek and a tall European may be

communicating with each other. They may

not.

>> Exactly. Le we will long drive.

>> See the gambling

>> strictly between you and the police.

>> Mrs. Cromwell. May I be of some

assistance?

>> Man, well, I've been really lucky. I'm

taking home a lot of your money.

>> I'm so happy for you. Congratulations.

>> Well, you probably know I'll come back

and lose it all, but just now I feel

marvelous.

Manuel, I'd like to give you a little

something.

>> Oh, no. I couldn't accept.

>> Why not? Of course you could.

>> Oh, but I never tip you when you lose.

>> Manuel,

>> I insist.

>> Look, damn it. We've got to get rid of

that transmitter. Do you know how many

lives depend on supplies that are lying

at the bottom of the Indian Ocean?

>> I think we do, sir, but we still don't

know exactly where it is. I think our

first priority is to find whoever heads

the spy ring. And how do you propose to

handle that? The lead you picked up in G

is rather fragile.

>> I'm not so sure. You know that the man

who gave it to us was murdered. It's

worth following up.

>> And just suppose you discover who the

head spy is. Then what?

>> Gavin and I kidnap him and interrogate

him rather thoroughly

>> in Goa.

>> Right. If that's where he is. Granted,

there's a risk of being caught in

neutral territory. We can always plead

insanity, sir.

>> But he speaks for himself.

>> Then do it. But it dislikes me. If you

two are caught, God knows what trouble

we'll be in.

>> It's all right. Go ahead and make plans.

Thank you, sir.

>> Watch it, G.

>> Why not?

>> Helen, get me 641 and go.

[Music]

[Music]

Yes.

>> Compliments to the management.

>> That's what I call Portuguese

hospitality. Thank you very much.

>> Thank you. Welcome to Go. Thank you.

>> That was fast.

>> Well, the truth is McKenzie has a

telephone built into his wooden leg.

>> What does it say?

>> Possible your man is Ram Dusgupta,

Indian about 32.

Large mole on right cheek. Clark for

Inter Europe shipping Bombay. currently

living at 197 Cabral Street, Goa, known

political activist for Indian

independence. I think we should meet

this fellow.

>> That means right now.

Come

on dear.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

May I use your telephone?

>> Thank you.

3 2 9.

>> Yes, sir.

Be calling me back.

>> Yes. Who?

Is there someone here named Ramas?

Gupta. This call is for Mr. Ram Dash

Gupta. Perhaps he's outside.

I'm sure you would like to go to the

toilet.

Now listen very carefully. Your name is

Ron Dust Gupta. You live at 197 Cabra

Street. You work at Inter Europe

Shipping. Unless you fully cooperate,

we'll be delighted to kill you. Is that

understood?

>> Listen to this, Louis. The N is more

trader. 6,212 tons. Cargo varied,

including tank and plane ammo.

Approximate latitude 1025. Longitude

74150.

January 27th between 0800 and 2100.

That's one you save.

>> You are a naughty boy. We'd like you to

go back to your table and continue with

your usual routine. We'll be watching

the tiniest false move and you're dead.

Another

one.

[Music]

the Fatherland's number one agent in

Southern Asia.

Are you sure? I'm sure

Stay here. I'll be back.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Did that strong coffee upset your

stomach?

>> No. A pity.

If you don't keep your mouth shut, our

next meeting may not be as friendly.

>> Mrs. Cornwall.

>> Hello. Or words to that effect.

>> Hello.

>> What a coincidence. I've uh been sitting

over there waiting for you.

>> No, you haven't.

>> Well, I cannot tell a lie. To tell you

the truth, I'm waiting for a business

associate who's never been on time in

his life.

[Applause]

[Music]

by the way. It's Gavin.

>> I remember.

>> Do I still call you Mrs. Cromwell?

>> Oh, no. Wait, don't answer that. What's

your dog's name?

>> You won't laugh.

>> Guaranteed.

>> Hamlet.

But it's not a great day.

>> He doesn't know that.

And you may not believe this, but they

named me Agnes.

>> I'm still not laughing, Agnes.

>> There I was, a helpless infant. Oh,

coffee, please.

>> And a human arm with a dog, please.

>> Why don't

>> just a coffee?

>> You were saying a helpless infant. May I

say how spectacularly you have matured.

But first, is it all right if I continue

to call you Mrs. Bra?

>> That is the best idea I've heard all

day.

>> It's still early, Mrs.

[Music]

I really must leave. The beast needs the

exercise.

>> Don't forget, we still have that date.

>> Thanks for the coffee.

Have a lovely walk, Mrs. Cromwell.

>> Fast work.

>> Well, man does not live by bread alone.

>> A man who loves dogs can't be all bad.

Come along. I have some news for you.

>> There, those two men. So, we pay the

bill and then wait outside Trumpet's

house,

>> right?

>> We could wait there the rest of the day

and the night, too. Don't you think the

car will look a tribal conspicuous?

>> I suppose at night, but we can't just

break into his house and take him.

>> We could,

except we don't know who else might be

there.

>> I don't like the idea of Gupta running

about Luca. I mean, he knows we're not

in tea.

All right,

we'll pick up Mr. Trump better in the

morning.

>> Well, in that event, Lewis, I

have a small favor to ask.

You look at me like that. You know, my

country comes first.

>> You'd like me to take a long

invigorating walk today?

>> Could sit in the bar.

The walk will do me more good.

Excuse

me, sor

my cigarette.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Lewis, put your hands on your head.

>> Bloody fool.

You shoot me, your life's not worth a

rupee.

>> Nevertheless,

I will also shoot the lady.

>> Gabin.

[Music]

[Music]

You killed him.

>> Yes, he was about to kill me.

Andrew, that sort of thing tends to make

me impulsive.

>> Did you know him?

>> No.

was a nice throw. Thank you.

Good God. What's that?

It's a little complicated.

Where did you get the pistol

from him?

That is just perfect. We have an

appointment tomorrow with the Imperial

Tea Company. Not The bloody police.

>> What was I supposed to do, Louis? Let

him kill us.

>> As you've probably gathered, this is my

boss. Lewis,

>> how do you do?

>> Little civility wouldn't be out of place

with it. I mean, it wasn't her fault.

>> Want to go now?

>> I'll take it.

>> No thanks.

>> I didn't mean to sound rude. You must be

very upset.

>> Upset?

Why would I be upset?

I mean, it was just a simple murder. I

>> promise you, you won't be involved with

the police. That is, unless you wish to

involve yourself.

>> Go. That's all I need.

>> No, this is strictly your problem. If it

comes to it, I'll deny I was even here.

>> As you wish.

>> Good night.

Did you really have to kill him? I mean,

we could have worked on him. Perhaps

learned something about from Peta.

>> Honestly, Louis, I really had no choice.

What happened to you?

>> Two very pleasant chaps tried to kill me

at the dock.

>> Do they? Maybe we should have both sat

in the bar.

>> Where are they now?

>> They're resting.

What do we do with him?

As McKenzie said, when in trouble, call

room service.

match.

>> I don't smoke.

>> Would you please look at the white car

over there? I think you might find it

interesting.

>> If he has to kill you here and now, he

will. Let you and I get into the car

very quietly.

[Music]

Just relax. Sit back. That's a good boy.

Help!

They're kidnapping me. Help!

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Damn it.

Well, there's no longer much point in

delivering him to intelligence.

>> Let's dump him here.

>> No, wait till we cross the border. Can't

have him found in Goa.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

identific

gentlemen. I

>> guess course turned out nice again,

hasn't it?

>> Thank you.

>> And that gentleman,

>> here it is. I'm sure you'll find

everything in order.

Perfectly, sir. Have a good trip,

gentlemen.

[Music]

>> You got away with killing Trumpet and a

fat lot of good us.

>> We did find out that the transmitters on

the Arenfeld. I I understand your

feelings.

>> No, you don't. You took one hell of a

risk for next to nothing. Whoever

Trumpet's number two man is took over

immediately. We still haven't been able

to break the code. While you were on the

train for two days coming back to Delhi,

three more ships have been sunk.

Did you hear what I said? Three more

ships have been sunk. I'd like to go

into that harbor with commandos and blow

the whole filthy place up, but we can't,

which is rather frustrating.

Also, I've got no suggestions which may

account for my unpleasant disposition.

If the professionals can't do it, we

might have to turn to amateurs.

And what does that mean?

>> What if a group of British civilians

managed to board there themselves? If

they were caught, might be taken as a

drunken escapade. You know, businessmen

on holiday and Goa without their wives

having a smashing good time. Little

chancy with the Portuguese government.

That's a masterpiece of understatement.

London would have our heads. Life just

succeeds her. Oh god.

And which civilians did you have in

mind?

>> The Calata light horse, sir.

>> The what?

>> It's a part-time territorial unit.

>> They haven't seen action for 40 years.

Lewis, you're talking about a mixed bag

of boozing, middle-aged, pot-bellied

businessmen.

>> No argument. But when the war started,

every man Jacket them volunteered for

active service. Those that were not

accepted for whatever reasons are all

ex-soldiers. They know weapons. They

know tactics. They'd give their right

arms to help. It's insane, Lewis, and

you know it.

put together a plan.

>> Thank you, sir.

>> Over to me.

>> Move it, Sandy.

>> It's yours.

Marvelous.

>> Well done. Well done.

Have you seen Bill?

>> No.

>> Probably in the bar.

[Applause]

>> Obviously, everything we've just told

you, the operation, the destination, all

of it is for your ears only.

>> Are you expecting my men to volunteer

without having the faintest idea what

they're volunteering for?

>> Right.

>> I thought so.

>> All that the men must know is that it

couldn't be more important.

It'll be quite risky and it's top

secret.

>> Unfortunately, Bill, there'll be no pay

in it. No pensions if anyone's killed or

wounded and no credit.

>> It all sounds unbelievably attractive to

me. And I take it no medals if all goes

well.

>> No medals. No recognition at all.

>> I love it. So will they.

>> Glass. Of course, Melbourne again.

>> Bit early for casualties.

>> He'll be all right.

>> You okay, Dicky?

>> Damned fool.

>> You all right?

>> I think so.

>> Just knocked all the all the wind out of

me.

>> Well, there's enough of it in there,

Dicky lad. That's tremendously abusing.

>> Must have been a relief to your pony.

>> Robin, old chap. Once I've adjusted my

trust, I'll be happy to thump you on the

head.

>> Come on, Dicky. Just a bit of fun in a

cold, cruel world.

Foreign

speech. Foreign speech. Foreign speech.

I've told you everything about this

operation that I'm allowed to. The

Lighor has not been in action as a unit

since the Bore War in 1900, but I hope

and believe that we soon will be.

>> Good.

>> I'm calling for between 15 and 20

volunteers.

>> I was afraid of that. Thank you,

gentlemen. I appreciate it. Now, those

of you who are selected will leave in

about seven days. You'll be gone for two

weeks. I think it's best if you tell

your wives you've been ordered up to

Ranchie for a twoe training period of

local defense, that sort of thing.

>> So now, will you all please give your

names and telephone numbers to Sandy

Lumstead?

>> Here we go.

Who's next?

>> Come on, just

>> Sorry, Jack.

>> Bill, I'm going on this.

>> God blesses everyone.

>> Oh, help us. Take your choice.

Fore!

Foreign! Foreign!

and you could move that game further

down the beach if you don't mind.

>> It starts off like a Hungarian omelette.

First, steal one egg. We're actually

stealing an entire ship.

>> Can't rent one. And naturally, the Navy

has nothing available.

>> Then I have to sail the bloody thing the

whole way around India from Kolkata

to Coach Chin. Yes, you're the only one

of us with any experience at sea.

>> And all I get is five lightors for crew

plus three hard lasers.

>> We are not stealing the Queen, Mary.

>> And we're not exactly looking for a

rowboat either.

All right.

Charlie Wilton knows engines and I can

navigate.

Well, suppose we make it. Then you bring

the others across by train to coach in.

I pick you up and we sail right into

Marggo Harbor and blow up everything in

sight. Just like that,

>> right? Nothing to it. And for a grand

finale, we escape.

>> 20 of us against maybe 120 of them.

>> Won't be 120 of them. Gavin will see to

that. He'll be in Goa arranging all

sorts of brilliant diversions.

>> Come in. I think it's Jack. You want a

seat?

>> Come in, Jack. Take a seat.

>> No, thank you, sir. I'll stand.

Forget the s.

>> I can't make a speech, Bill, but this is

the only chance I'll have to settle

accounts for my boy. Your boy? He was

killed in Burma.

>> Didn't know. Sorry.

>> Well, that's really what I came about.

God knows. I know how you feel. But you

must realize

>> I don't think you do at all.

>> But you don't understand the operation.

I don't know how to say this to you, but

we just can't risk your old ticker.

>> There's nothing wrong with it, Bill. I

have my pills.

>> I'll take it.

>> No liability at all. I do have some

strange deals to make, and I'm sure

he'll handle some of them better than I

can.

>> Well, Bill.

>> All right, Jack. It's all yours.

[Music]

Oh god, I'm dying.

>> Oh hell, I'm dead.

>> I've been dead nearly 20 minutes. I

thought I smelled something strange.

[Music]

Good God, what are you doing?

>> Just turning up.

>> What on earth for?

>> My health.

>> Well, mind your hernia, dear.

[Music]

Why the hell don't you whistle or

something before you come out here?

>> Mr. Melbourne,

>> are you all right?

>> No, I'm just having a a private heart

attack. Get out, Miss Wedworth.

>> Coming.

Louis, delightful to see you.

>> Is that Gavin? By George, it is Gavin.

Wait,

>> you mean the one with the blood rushing

to his feet to your right?

>> I'm glad to see you back in one piece,

Yogi.

>> It was a lovely mission. There's certain

parts of Burma that won't be quite the

same again. Anything new coming up for

Force 136, sir?

>> Oh, just for you.

>> Marvelous. What can I do for you? How

would you like to blow up two or three

enemy ships in a neutral harbor?

>> Delighted. You'll have to give me a

couple of days notice to get my gear

ready.

>> It'll be in and out fast. There won't be

a second chance at these targets.

>> I haven't needed one yet, have I?

>> The one thing I can't abide is a lack of

confidence.

>> We'll be in touch then.

>> Fine. Onward and upward.

>> Anything new in the papers, Yogi?

>> Yes. The world's upside down.

sail across the serpentine, let alone

around India. It's a bloody river boat.

It's the right size. There won't be any

great uproar when it's found missing.

>> There's something very peculiar going

on, Bill. What is it? What's

>> you never shave at night?

>> Well, rather a novelty, I thought for

once. Not to shave in the morning when

I'm still asleep.

>> That's not it.

>> Why?

>> You can really be the most exasperating.

I'm probably being even more

exasperating. A good wife does not cry.

>> Darling, you can pry as much as you

like. Now, the reason I'm shaving now is

because I have to get up tomorrow

morning at 4:00 and go charging up to

Ranchie and a bloody great truck to do

two weeks incredibly boring training.

>> Whatever it is, it's far too important

to you.

>> Oh, really?

>> It's another woman, isn't it?

>> Isn't it

>> another woman? Me?

I have never loved nor will I ever love

anyone but you.

You've come and got me all lthered up.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Hold it.

>> What the hell is this?

>> No questions, just answers. Now if you

create any problem we shall have to kill

you.

>> Have you taken a look at the engine in

this thing?

>> No, but I have a general idea.

>> Belongs to the museum.

>> So do some of us. Cheer up. Let's take a

stroll on the prominard deck.

>> I've got this case to take care of the

other.

>> I've been saving this for a long time.

Now I know why. To us

>> to us.

to us

>> to the operation. Amen.

[Music]

>> I haven't got the idea what makes this

thing work.

Do you?

>> See you in coach.

[Music]

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

[Music]

Thank you guys.

[Music]

[Music]

Lord. What is my second

show?

Get up.

>> Not into the wind, Robin. Not into the

wind, Robin. Oh god, he done it again.

>> For God's sake, don't describe it to me.

I'm going down enough to hit myself over

the head with a hammer. Remember, I'm

still cook.

>> One industrious child.

You wouldn't you sadistic?

>> What wouldn't I?

>> No, Yogi. When we get to wherever it is

we're going, I'm going to kill you.

>> Mind of a matter, Robin. Think suggest

of me.

>> I'm not doing a damn fool you taking on

this job.

Grab one.

Oh, Jack chum, if anyone has to swim for

it, this is where you'll be. Jack Cart,

right? Entire onshore rescue and first a

team. You'd better put a lorry up there.

Now, should you pick anyone up, that'd

be taken straight out of Go. And if you

have to drive through the border

barricades and take over that river

ferry, you do it.

[Music]

>> Thank god you're not my wife. Any kind

of physical contact brings on the most

outrageous sexual demands. The woman's

insatiable.

>> You're a lucky fellow.

>> She bites. Bloody undignified. My age, I

prefer a bit of grateful whimpering.

Even if it's only from me.

>> They never survived the training ground.

Talking of survival, I swore to myself

I'd never ask this, which is why I'm

asking. But all those explosives we

loaded onto that ridiculous Phoebe, what

on earth are they for?

Oh,

>> it's my opinion we're going to storm a

mountaintop combat with bowler hats and

varicus veins

>> and umbrellas. Hi. And the nuns will

shoot their tails off.

>> Well, someone will.

>> Let's play bridge.

>> Oh, Lovecraft must have melons for

adenoids.

>> Next round's on me.

>> Uh, crumble. C R O M W E L L.

Hold on.

>> Who is it?

>> It's open.

Hello.

Ah, yes. You have it. What do you mean

you can't give it to me? Well, it's

unlisted.

Well, where are you? I'll come down and

pay you.

We all have to learn to live with the

odd insult, don't we? I'll try to beat

that combination. An incorruptible

telephone operator and a woman with an

unlisted telephone number and a raping

beauty. Damn it. Come on. You have to

put that in a safe deposit box at the

Portuguese National Bank.

My god, they'll chuck me overboard.

There's a periscope out there.

Periscope.

It's on the solid bow.

>> I don't see a thing. Where the hell is

it? Look there.

That's the port bow, idiot.

>> Well, whatever it is, God can't go help

us. We're dead.

>> Right, I'll take the wheel.

>> Give me those glasses. Where is it?

>> There on the on the um the the port bow.

>> If we're blown up, everybody get a bit

of wreckage and cling to it.

>> That's hilarious.

Wait a minute.

I've got it.

What an incredible piece of camouflage.

It looks exactly like a shark. Finn,

they're clever, devils. I'll give them

that.

It's a shark, Mr. Maners.

>> Oh. Oh, is that all you can say? Oh, I'm

sorry. You know,

sorry.

>> I prefer Oh.

Six days each week of government

bureaucracy taxes the mind and the body

to the limits of endurance.

>> Yes, it's very good of you to see me,

Senor Montter.

>> Not at all.

>> Now, you want to enjoy your day off and

my time is limited. So, may we drop the

formalities?

>> Yes, you wish.

>> I want you to use your influence to

persuade the governor to have a

reception. Among the invited guests will

be every port official from Marmagoa and

the officers from every ship at anchor

in the harbor. You will on the same

night arrange a carnival which will

attract the crews of all the ships.

>> Well,

you mentioned my sons.

>> Yes, I can arrange that your sons

continue to enjoy their schooling in

India and that their fees are paid

directly into a bank there. Yes or no?

A wise decision.

>> The invitations have already been

printed. The date is March the 8th. The

time 2100 hours.

>> What is your reason for this, Senor?

>> That is a question you do not ask. It is

simply a display of your country's

hospitality and neutrality.

Now, these are for your immediate use.

I'm sure your list of expenses will be

very imaginative. Oh, and one more

thing. I'd hate like hell to see

anything go wrong for your sake and the

children.

[Music]

The bank.

>> I don't know what comes first. The

hello, the apology, or the explanation?

>> None of them. Excuse me.

>> Well, I you at least two out of three.

>> Please.

How's Hamlet?

>> Damn it.

>> I prefer not to make a scene here.

>> Why don't we sit down?

[Music]

>> How is Hamlet?

>> Look, I don't appreciate it.

>> Some wine, champagne, lovely cigar.

>> Later.

Hello, Mrs. Cromwell, and I can't tell

you how sorry I am. That's true.

>> I find all that charm unbearable.

Quite truthfully, so do I. The best I

can do is apologize. If you would accept

that, we could talk.

It was an ugly

incident.

>> You killed a man as though it were

nothing.

>> He was about to kill us both.

You've done it before, haven't you?

>> Yes. I was an officer in the army for a

while and then the Bengali police made

me a better offer.

>> And now you're a tea merchant.

>> Yes.

I didn't like being a police officer

and I don't wander around killing

people.

Next, you're going to accuse me of

killing the poor unfortunate owner of

this place.

>> It had crossed my mind.

>> Mrs. Crumbl, I really would much rather

talk about you and possibly even me.

You know, it wouldn't take a great deal

for me to fall in love with you.

No comment.

All right, I have one.

Why don't we pick up where we left off,

be exceptionally wary of each other, and

see what develops?

>> No comment

yet.

[Music]

>> Why, Mrs. Pro?

>> Whose deal is it?

>> Yours.

Did you order us a beer?

>> Yes.

>> I wonder why they asked us if we could

swim.

>> One thing's for certain. This is a damn

sight better than thumping around the

coast in that dirty old bucket. I pity

bream. Awful bloody sail. You know,

suffers hell.

>> So did Nelson.

>> Nelson.

>> Admiral Nelson your pool.

>> You know England expects

over here chaps.

Gentlemen, if they've been lucky, the

Phoebe should be outside Coach and

Harour tomorrow night, and we'll be off

on a lovely sundrenched cruise.

You'll each receive a boarding schedule

and detailed instructions. Please

memorize them and destroy them. No one

is to carry any letters or documents

which might associate him with the

lighor. Tomorrow you will each go

separately to the bazaar and buy two

bottles of whiskey which you will keep

in your luggage unopened.

You're to be packed and ready by 1700

hours.

I can't give you any details on the

operation itself until we're safely at

sea.

Any

questions?

>> Good.

If any of you might be thinking of

getting sodled tonight,

it's splendid. I expect to

>> briefing.

What's my kind of torpedo?

at least doing a shot.

Ellie

Oh,

no. In your

>> English? Yeah.

>> Yes. Senor,

you perhaps wish something. We can give

you anything you should desire.

Anything.

>> Is it your house?

>> Yes, Senor. All the clean girls and all

beautiful.

>> I have an unusual request.

>> Oh, nothing is strange here, Senor.

>> Many years ago, I was a sailor. Now I am

a rich man.

>> But always a seller in your heart. I

understand you wish something special.

Yes.

>> I would like to give every sailor in the

port a gift to celebrate my good fortune

in life. Now you will tell every

nationality of sailor in the harbor that

for three days Thursday, Friday,

Saturday and come to this street and do

with girls at no cost.

>> Oh, what a beautiful thing you do, sir.

>> I'm glad you think so. Now, can we

agree? Brass,

>> please come. Senor,

>> this is exceedingly odd.

I hardly know anything about you. Don't

know where you did. I don't even know

your phone number.

>> You didn't have to. All we've done is

enjoy each other.

>> I am falling in love with you, Mrs.

Crop.

Are you available now that?

>> I have.

>> Gavin, I don't want to go home now, but

I'm going to

>> All right, I'll take you.

>> No,

>> I still can't go where you live.

>> Not until I understand how I feel.

[Music]

I'd like to get dressed now.

>> You do love me.

>> Give me time to think. I promise to call

you.

[Music]

They're the last two. Come along. Come

along.

>> Sorry, Sandy. We got held up.

>> Jack, how was your second visit with

your friendly He absolutely said every

sale is all about it. As he was taking

the rest of the money, he called me a

true benefactor of all [ __ ] and

seaman. Rather appropriate play on

words, don't you think? I am also his

lifelong friend for whom he'd shed blood

and brandy. He shed the brandy, didn't

he?

>> Yeah, he did.

>> Jack, why don't you go to your room and

lie down with it? I mean, there's

nothing else to be done tonight.

>> I was going to. I may even pray a bit.

Where are you going?

>> I'm talking and praying to church. The

phone call I was waiting for for two

days finally came through.

>> I'm glad to hear it. And so was I.

>> Did you say church?

>> Yes.

[Music]

Via

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Gavin,

who are you?

[Music]

I need a tape. Would you bring that up

here for me, please?

Now then,

we're on the last lap of our little

trip. So, I can now give you our

destination and tell you what we're

going to do when we get there.

We're headed for the neutral port of

Marmagoa.

>> In that port at anchor is a German ship,

the Arenfells. Our job

is to seize that ship.

>> Hold her down aboard

>> or sink her where she is. Also in that

port are two other German ships. So if

we can knock them off at the same time,

so much the better.

But first, the Arinfeld. Here is her

deck plan. Study it very carefully and

then I'll deal with any question.

>> Bill.

>> Yeah,

>> we've got problems. What's wrong?

>> The main bearing is overheating.

>> Can you do anything about it?

>> Only if I stop the engine. It's a

question of dismantling the bearing and

fitting a new shell. If I can.

>> How long would it take? two to three

hours. And sir, I said if I can.

>> Yes, I heard you Charlie. But can we

keep going as it is?

>> Not for long.

>> All right, stop your engine. See what

you can do.

>> We desperately needed that.

>> I have a little leeway.

Not much.

Carry on.

>> Now

on the for deck here.

I didn't want to push my luck on the

telephone, but why a church?

>> I didn't want to meet you in a cafe

again

>> or in a hotel room.

>> I'm glad you called.

>> I don't know whether I am or not. I just

know I'm afraid to trust my own

feelings, which are

>> terribly confused.

>> I'm afraid I don't understand.

Try.

We can start tonight at the Governor

General's party.

>> You mean the Governor General of Go?

Why would he invite me to a party? I

don't even know the Governor General.

I'm sure it's mutual.

>> I'm invited.

Would you take me?

>> All right, I'll take you. 9:00

21 to G Street.

Now you have my address.

>> The progress is astonishing.

>> Are we leaving?

>> You are alone.

Please.

>> Well, I am available the rest of the

day.

Conversation only. TL's on

>> 9:00.

[Music]

Well, that may do it and it may not.

>> 2 and 1/2 hours. All right, let's find

out.

>> Ready to move, Bill.

>> Right.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

What can you get out of it at full

speed?

>> Six knots. Maybe seven.

>> Try again.

American.

[Music]

[Music]

That's it. Your turn, Sandy.

[Music]

>> Good. On the hill.

>> Limpit mines attach magnetically

to the hull of the ship

below the water line. They work on a

preset timer. You mean this uh this knob

here?

>> Yes, that's right. Now, Finley, you'll

take the dring pulse. Sloan, you take

the brown pulse.

>> Right.

[Music]

Senor Stewart.

>> Yes.

>> Good evening, sir. Please.

>> Thank you.

Please sit down.

Mrs. Crumble shall be

>> ready soon.

>> Yes. Not good English. Excuse me.

[Music]

[Music]

Where is

[Music]

Thanks to Charlie Wilton,

we should be alongside the Arenfells on

scheduled by 0100 hours.

I don't have to tell you how crucial

this operation is or how many Allied

lives it might save.

Our cover story once again, we are

businessmen on holiday. We rented this

old tub in Bombay, sailed down to Goa

for the fun of it, and on a drunken dare

boarded the Arinfelds.

Of course, authentic drunken businessmen

seldom run about with machine guns.

Should any of you find yourselves in a

tight spot? If it's the last thing you

do, throw your guns over the side. If

any of you have to swim for it, you know

the location of Cartra's Beach. Jack

will be there waiting for you.

Charlie, you remain aboard to nurse the

engine.

>> Sir,

>> that's an order. Charlie.

>> Yes, sir.

>> [ __ ] sir.

>> Charlie, you really do have a way with

words. John,

you'll stay at the wheel. No arguments.

>> Can I say [ __ ] as well, sir?

>> If you like. All right, let's open up

the whiskey.

One big swig now and no more until

further orders.

>> Cheers.

>> Cheers.

[Music]

Hey.

[Applause]

[Music]

Excuse

[Music]

[Music]

me. Your excellency, Gavin Stewart,

Hades of Bombay Limited.

>> A Mr. Stewart. How nice to see you,

darling. May I present Mr. Stewart.

>> A pleasure, ma'am. And my daughter

Theresa and

Mrs. Croml. Mrs. Cromwell and I already

know each other. As a matter of fact,

with your permission, sir, I am going to

steal her away from you.

>> Please do. Enjoy yourself.

>> Thank you, sir.

Sure.

[Music]

look absolutely beautiful.

Why?

>> Don't blame you for being angry. I

wouldn't have waited for me either. I

can't begin to apologize.

>> Don't be silly. It's accepted.

Where were you?

>> Well, you won't believe me. It's really

a sort of tragedy of errors.

First of all, puncture in the middle of

nowhere. Then I nearly ripped the sleeve

of my jacket off trying to change the

wheel. a mad dash to find a replacement

jacket, which doesn't fit.

>> So, I see.

>> And naturally, they're still not giving

out your phone number. And finally, when

I got to 31 GMA Street, there was no one

at home.

>> Gavin,

it's 21.

>> Not 31.

There you are. I am an idiot.

>> Agreed. But rather nice one.

>> I'd left by then anyway. I called your

hotel. They said you'd gone out quite

early.

How did you get in here without an

invitation?

>> And I'm glad.

>> Well, I uh crossed the major domo's

palm.

>> Shocking.

>> Now to show you the stuff I'm really

made of.

I'd like to apologize properly. First,

I'd like to kiss you, Mrs. Cromwell.

>> I'd like that.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

lipstick doesn't become you.

Let me

[Music]

help.

[Music]

Would

you care to join her?

I assume you've seen nothing. Am I

correct?

>> Start laughing.

>> Laugh.

[Music]

[Music]

You'll remember your children, Senor.

[Applause]

[Music]

All right, take your weapons.

any problems?

>> No, sir.

>> Mr. Card,

>> buried there, sir.

Take my car and park it near the hotel,

will you?

>> Yes, sir. Are you all right, sir?

>> Yes, fine, thanks.

There we are. The first of Gavin's

brilliant diversions.

[Music]

>> Never had a moment's duck, though. Bean.

>> Well, I did. If we'd relied on this

compass, it might have wound up in the

Grand Canyon.

>> What a lovely sight. Reminds me of

Brighton when I was about 10 years old.

Dicky, I find it hard to believe that

you were ever 10 years old. Oh,

>> chuckle chuck. Gentlemen,

>> Mr. Finley, Mr. Sloan, time to get

ready.

>> Right, sir.

>> If any of you have any final questions,

now would be a splendid time.

>> When do we get another drink, sir?

>> Well, right now, as a matter of fact, I

want each of you to take another big

swallow. Just one. Next, rinse your

mouth thoroughly with whiskey and spit

it out. Then take what's left and pour

it over your clothing.

>> All of it, sir.

>> All of it. I want every man here to

smell like a distillery. All right, get

on with it.

Anybody got any soda?

I didn't mean to do that. I swear it.

>> This is the noblest sacrifice of all.

>> Fumes alone are getting me tiddly.

>> You may save your second bottle for our

celebration on the way up to Bombay.

for

when we board. I want no firing unless

it's absolutely necessary.

Should anything unpleasant happen and we

sustain dead or wounded, they are not to

be left aboard the Arenfells, nor any

equipment,

nothing which could identify us as

British.

When I blow this whistle three times,

everybody off immediately.

You'll do.

Take your stations. All weapons loaded.

Safety catchers on.

>> Check our watches.

When you set your minds, remember, give

us 30 minutes.

>> That's still not much time.

>> You surprised me, Yogi. We'll have all

the time in the world. Now, do get on

with it.

>> You're the boss, Lewis. My god, your

breath is awful.

Happy

Fire

la.

Might as well. Wouldn't help me see in

the dark, would it?

Yogurt. Come on.

Justin,

come on here. Move. Come on. Move. Move.

Hey, By

Hands up. Silence.

[Music]

Sandy, come with me. You two stay here.

Right.

This way.

>> Come here, babe.

[Music]

Stay where you are. Not as hard.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

I'm definitely not staying on board.

Come on, let's go.

[Music]

you.

[Music]

Hold on. Blow this one.

[Music]

[Music]

Some phones.

[Music]

[Music]

Mr. Brad, I think I'm still standing.

>> We found it, Bill. Get everyone

organized to leave. Sandy, look after

Yogi.

>> Come on, let's go. Come on.

>> In here with me.

The code books. Get them on board the

Phoebe. Hurry.

>> Right.

Let's get it done and leave.

>> Damn.

Take it in.

[Music]

God,

my fault, Bill. Never mind that. Get he

be quick and the Germans at the after

deck with the others.

Back on the PB. Everybody back on the

TV.

[Music]

Damn fools. I mean, why don't they hurry

up?

Good.

>> Lewis,

get them on the Phoebe. Go.

>> William, son.

Look after Dumis.

Great. Put those with the others. Oh,

>> you lads. Move it.

>> Turn around.

>> I'll be watching you from the top deck.

Make no mistake. I'll shoot the first

man who moves.

[Music]

>> Where is Lovecraft?

>> Second deck. Wardrobe.

[Music]

Inter

[Music]

Robin.

[Music]

That's

[Music]

take these records.

[Music]

[Music]

Everyone over the side. This ship was

going to blow up.

[Music]

Start engine.

>> Stop engine.

[Music]

[Music]

A

[Music]

[Music]

push off.

Got him. Push off.

[Music]

Charlie

>> Bill don't stand above. Get us underway.

[Music]

>> Right. Right.

Get some below.

>> Help me out,

[Music]

>> Louis.

>> I'm all right.

>> Get out of here. Lie down somewhere.

>> There may not be anything to lie down

on. Those timers aren't that accurate.

Charlie, give me an answer. I'm working.

>> You better have this.

>> I'm not telling you. This will put pain

to my polo for a bit. Oh, you'll be

playing a polo with some Peter if this

ship goes up.

>> Friend, help you.

[Music]

Somebody, what the hell's gone wrong?

>> I'm waking very hard. Billy,

>> how long you got on those mines?

>> Couple of minutes, maybe.

Well, hold your breath.

[Music]

Ease it up to full speed, Bill.

[Music]

He's going up.

Keep healing up.

You could go.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Oh. Devils.

[Music]

>> Bill, I

I wouldn't know how to begin to thank

you and the lighthouse.

>> I have a feeling they'll be thanking

you. I know I am.

Captain

Shore.