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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,205 --> 00:00:27,233 Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. 2 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:28,540 Hello, Stuart. 3 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:35,479 You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and that, but I can't help reflect— 4 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,950 I'm Alexander, the bloke in the glasses driving, 5 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,600 not the mumbly one on the tape. That's Stuart. 6 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:48,400 I got to know Stuart in 2000 and decided to write his biography. 7 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:52,199 All my friends said it was mad. I mean, after all this man was unknown, 8 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,410 he wasn't famous, not a celebrity, but the book turned out okay. 9 00:00:58,535 --> 00:01:01,300 Just wish Stuart could have been here to see it. 10 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,450 I think it was the first ever biography of a homeless man. 11 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,390 From birth to the present day. 12 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,050 So, back in 2000 I was earning a bit of extra pocket money 13 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,300 working as a fundraiser at Wintercomfort, 14 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:32,500 which is a busy little day shelter in Cambridge, normally full of homeless people. 15 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,300 Full, that is, until the morning that the police decided to raid the place. 16 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,400 They've been arrested. 17 00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,700 All of them? 18 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,200 What a good idea. 19 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,300 Uh, no, no. It was, um, just my boss, Ruth, 20 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,300 and um, her deputy, John. 21 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,000 Some of the clients have been secretly dealing drugs on the premises 22 00:02:56,002 --> 00:02:58,875 but because Ruth and John ran the charity, they were held responsible. 23 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,350 They've got evidence, on film. 24 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,300 I was furious at the injustice of it. 25 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,100 And, uh, then really, for the first time in my life 26 00:03:11,101 --> 00:03:14,000 I actually began to take a real and practical interest in the homeless. 27 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,500 Fuck off, pisshead! 28 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,900 I'd like to introduce to you Alexander Masters, 29 00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:25,520 a dedicated friend of the homeless himself, chairman of the campaign. 30 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,500 Oh, we were convinced they'd never be convicted. 31 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,900 I mean, if prisons can't control drugs then how could Ruth and John be expected to? 32 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,999 As everyone knows, we're here this evening about Ruth Wyner and John— 33 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:45,200 The judge, Justice Howarth, sent them down— —for five years, and four years. 34 00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,000 - Shame. - Thank you. 35 00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:49,300 - Fascist. - Thank you. 36 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,450 But this is the crunch, what are we going to do about it? 37 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,400 How is this campaign going to get Ruth and John out? 38 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,800 - Yes? - We could send them books. 39 00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:01,000 Bunyan, he's good for prisons. 40 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,480 Hardly. Miracle of the Rose, by Genet, if you must. 41 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:08,800 Excuse me, this isn't gonna work. 42 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:15,400 Sending them books, eh? It won't fit in the box. 43 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:19,400 - Sorry? - The inmate's belongings. 44 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,700 Everyone's got one. 45 00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:30,500 - Who is that? - No idea. They all look the same to me. 46 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:34,950 —you're also allowed a piece of carpet what won't fit in your box, 47 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,700 and a budgie or, or a canary, 48 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,985 and obviously the cage is not going to fit in the box. 49 00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:49,800 But, it is Ruth and John what will suffer. 50 00:04:56,500 --> 00:05:03,500 All of them books, the screws will just chuck them out because they won't fit in your box. 51 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:10,200 I'm not being funny, but you should really know about boxes if you're gonna have a campaign. 52 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:21,600 Me name's Psycho, but you can call me Stuart, if you like. 53 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:28,750 - Um, what's your address? - Umm... 2 Laurel Lane. 54 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:40,250 Yeah, they help me: doctors, a couple clothes, outreach, sometimes lunch with two puddings. 55 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:46,150 Yeah, they put it all on, those two. And the staff. 56 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:52,400 I'm not being funny, yeah, but I am really grateful. 57 00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:58,500 - The other day I got a really [indiscernible]. - Oh, great. 58 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,010 - Can I help? - Yeah, uh, yeah. 59 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,500 That's how I first met Stuart Shorter. 60 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:12,480 Street brawler, alcoholic, a heroin addict, sociopathic street raconteur with a fondness 61 00:06:12,481 --> 00:06:17,950 for what he called "little strips of silver". Knives, to you and me. 62 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:36,250 - Thank you very much for agreeing to store these. - Oh, no problem. 63 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:48,700 Mind the step. Oh, dear. Here you go, mate. 64 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,850 Welcome to my humble abode. 65 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,200 2 Laurel Lane. Well, they are laurels, aren't they? 66 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:07,500 I only heard about the meeting this morning when I was picking up my breakfast. 67 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,900 - Your address? - Mm-hm. 68 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:19,200 A bad idea, number one, mate. You could get any old riff-raff showing up. Oh, dear, dear. 69 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,300 Yes? 70 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,800 It's you. 71 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,900 I've addressed some envelopes. 72 00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,500 - Which, uh... - They alright? 73 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,400 Horrible. 74 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:54,550 I've had a blinding idea for the campaign. Yeah, get us on television and all. 75 00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:59,850 Not even violent, if we leave out the kidnapping. 76 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,500 - Do you want to come in? - Oh, yes please. 77 00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:09,800 It's a bit wet out there. 78 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,200 Ooh, that's nice. 79 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:34,200 - How many sugars? - As many as you got, mate. 80 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,600 H—hot. 81 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,200 All them books. 82 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,500 Have you read all of them? 83 00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:25,500 No. 84 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:26,900 Half? 85 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,000 Not exactly. 86 00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:35,500 The Hunting Wasp. 87 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:39,200 A whole book about them little summer things. 88 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:48,600 This one. What is this one about? 89 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,500 The colour mauve. 90 00:09:57,210 --> 00:10:00,250 How do you fucking get away with this? 91 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:13,500 Now, this blinding idea. 92 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:15,700 Have you got a car? 93 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,800 No. 94 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:24,400 What do you like better: Volvo or VW? 95 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:34,600 And then a few weeks later I had the idea about the book and started doing a little research. 96 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,400 That boy has suffered. He deserves a book. 97 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,300 You should write a book about me. 98 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,100 Always such a caring boy. 99 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,100 Happy-go-lucky little thing. 100 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,000 Legs all over the show, bless him. 101 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,499 Three months after that we carried out Stuart's blinding idea 102 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:58,999 which was a sleep-over protest in front of the home office 103 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:03,200 to persuade the then Home Secretary, Jack Straw, to release Ruth and John. 104 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,600 Which was better than his first idea, which was to kidnap him. 105 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,300 Stuart took care of our transport. Somehow. 106 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,460 And on the way to London I read him the first few pages of my book idea. 107 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:23,700 "Stuart Clive Shorter was a happy-go-lucky little boy, 'the most considerate of my children', marvels his mother." 108 00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:26,500 Bollocks! Boring! 109 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,200 Why do you want to write this fucking book anyway? 110 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,050 To make lots and lots and lots of money. 111 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,450 Seriously? You think you can make money out of it? 112 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,100 Could, maybe. 113 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,900 Something as boring as that? 114 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,550 Don't be so rude. Anyway, it's not my fault that you started out so dull. 115 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,100 You got make it more exciting. 116 00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:53,900 Do it backwards. Like a murder mystery. Like a best-seller. 117 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,990 You know, like what Tom Clancy writes. 118 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,800 Yeah! How'd I get to be like this? 119 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,350 What murdered the little boy I was? 120 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,100 Make them nine-to-five sit up. 121 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,750 I mean, you put ten socks in the washing machine and only seven come out. 122 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,500 Where do they go? 123 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,750 - Stuart? - I'll tell you another thing and all— 124 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,990 - Stuart? — You take the machine apart and it ain't in it neither. 125 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:26,990 - Stuart? - What? 126 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,990 - What's this? - What? - This. 127 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:35,100 That, Alexander, is a lice. 128 00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:44,350 The main place you get those is around your bollocks. 129 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,400 That lice, that'll grow. 130 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:59,000 Scabies are smaller and they go under the skin and live there, literally nibbling. 131 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:07,000 It took five and a half hours for our convoy to do the 50 miles from Cambridge to London. 132 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,000 Stuart would never drive above 30 miles an hour. 133 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,800 Hey, Buckingham Palace. 134 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:19,800 What a load of bollocks! Huh! 135 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,850 Who needs a queen? 136 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,300 - Oh, no, no, no, no. No, not like that. - What? 137 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:40,600 Use this, right? Underneath, yeah? Here you are. 138 00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:44,800 You lose more heat that way than you do that way. 139 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:49,090 Ruth and John need these: eyes on the back of their heads! 140 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,900 End [indiscernible] police state now! 141 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,500 People are being wrongfully imprisoned for working in a charity 142 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,930 and doing nothing but trying to help the homeless. 143 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,850 Charity workers in prison because of a miscarriage of— oh, fuck off. 144 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:21,475 Charity workers in prison because of a miscarriage of justice. 145 00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:22,500 Okay, listen up, everyone! 146 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,800 Okay, everyone! Listen up! Everyone, please. Quiet, please! 147 00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:29,500 Everyone, we need you to move this way, thank you. 148 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,900 Wait a minute, hold on, hold on. Why? This is a peaceful protest. 149 00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:32,999 Yeah! Fucking why? 150 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:35,999 You can't cross these brass flags if the Home Office doesn't want you to. 151 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,999 That's social fucking fascism, that is! 152 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,200 And then we must put a fence in behind you to ensure you're not trespassing 153 00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:44,700 and ones on either side to protect you. - What? 154 00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:49,990 From the public, sir. They might step on you. And a fence in front just in case 155 00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:52,355 during the night you roll onto the road and get run over. 156 00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,600 Oh, I see. So you mean to cage us in completely. 157 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:58,380 I didn't say cage, sir, no. That was your word. 158 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,800 Do prisoners really get wages? 159 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,600 Yeah. 160 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,800 You mean a lot like normal people? 161 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,500 Yeah, make a fucking fortune. 162 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,250 Millionaires coming out of the nick every week. 163 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,800 You've been in a lot of prisons then? 164 00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:31,800 Have I? Fucking hell. 165 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,900 How many? 166 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,700 Well, um... 167 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:49,300 Well, start off, when I was a nipper there was Send Detention Centre, 168 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,350 Baintnow House, back to Send again, 169 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:59,000 Eriestoke, Norwich, 170 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,800 then I grew up and went to big boy prison. 171 00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:11,300 Whitemoor. Aw, now that's what I call a real prison. 172 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,100 You got everything there, mate: 173 00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:23,900 terrorists, psychopaths, security threats, murderers, manslaughters, crazies... 174 00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:25,300 Which lot do you belong to? 175 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:32,200 Crazies, really. Mm, yeah. 176 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:36,300 Norwich, Whitemoor again. 177 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:41,400 Grendon Underground. 178 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,700 Thirty-one. 179 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,700 I don't think I've missed any. 180 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:57,200 Oh yes, I have actually! I've been to Leicester three times as well. 181 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,100 Wayland was me last one. 182 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,100 Good night. Sleep well. 183 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,350 Thank you. Same to you. 184 00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:19,050 Oi, you. Since you got so much fucking time on your hands, yeah, 185 00:17:19,051 --> 00:17:24,750 answer this one: do you know how many people 186 00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:29,900 get killed by screws in prison every year? Murders. 187 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,200 Oh, sorry, Gov. Excuse us, how was we supposed to know that bending him in half 188 00:17:35,201 --> 00:17:39,000 the wrong fucking way was bad for his health? 189 00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:43,990 It was only people like me what is really rotten, isn't it? Really bad. 190 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:49,200 Beyond hope. You haven't got the faintest fucking clue, have you? Huh? 191 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,750 - Yeah, all he said was "Good night". - You can fuck off and all you fucking geeky— 192 00:17:53,751 --> 00:18:01,200 - Oh, shut up yourself, Stuart. - You fucking wanking middle class cunt fuck, Alexander. 193 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:07,500 You want to know how I became what I am? I'm giving you fucking answers! 194 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:13,830 Why don't you write a book with no fucking answers, eh? 195 00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:22,000 Go on, you fuck off. You find your fucking answers. 196 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:43,900 On a scale of anger, one to ten, I'm probably on four and Stuart's on eleven. 197 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,600 You never can tell... 198 00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:50,350 how families have been down and they've been up then they've been down again. 199 00:18:50,351 --> 00:18:53,700 You just like Stuart, you know? 200 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,600 Drugs, prison, being a beggar. 201 00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:00,700 Go on, go on. 202 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,350 Yeah, mate. 203 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,600 - Bastards! - Morning. 204 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,250 Like the taste of piss, eh? 205 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,800 You bastards. 206 00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,800 Someone smells nice. 207 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,750 After three months of preparation. 208 00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:31,495 I mean, who's bloody stupid idea was it that we camp out over the weekend anyway, 209 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,700 the one time Mr. Straw's not going to be there? 210 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:36,675 - I bet it was yours. - Oh, fuck off. 211 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,050 - Oh, I like this song. - This is a good song. 212 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,400 Still, one blimey thing did come out of that weekend: 213 00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:15,200 Stuart's idea that his life should be written backwards. 214 00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:29,300 It was cutting me throat what done it. 215 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,370 Put a beer glass into me neck. Just lost it. 216 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,570 Sometimes you wouldn't believe how hard it is to fucking die. 217 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,250 So, you got a council for that, because you tried to kill yourself? 218 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,900 Works a trick for the old housing points, doesn't it? 219 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:57,850 Whoosh! Straight to the top of the list. 220 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,950 It's not all gone though. 221 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,500 What's not all gone? 222 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 The hatred. 223 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:12,200 I got so many enemies. Up here, mate. 224 00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:16,250 Somebody's going to get hurt though, that's what scares me. 225 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,700 When's this thing going to happen? 226 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,300 I call it me "black mists". 227 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,800 Next week? Next month? Next ten seconds? 228 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,750 That is lovely bit of workmanship. 229 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:11,550 That's value. That's value. 230 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:19,200 Oh my God. This for the series. 231 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,950 For my son. 232 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:39,700 You've got a son!? 233 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:44,500 Yeah. In Glasgow with his mum. 234 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,500 Fourteen years of age to mind. 235 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,200 Always out on the golf course, the little 'un. 236 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,500 Not bad there, mate. Not better than Laurel Lane. 237 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:20,520 Wine always smells like sick. 238 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,150 Here, have a beer. 239 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,010 Fancy something to eat? 240 00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:05,000 So why do you want to be a writer, then? 241 00:24:05,250 --> 00:24:09,550 Oh, I don't know, really. Bit like a disease, all my family's got it. 242 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:12,100 Didn't want to be left out, did I? 243 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,450 Nah. I know what you mean, mate. 244 00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:17,070 Me dad is a thief, 245 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,500 and, um, me mum's a barmaid. 246 00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:24,350 What's the colour orange highlighter in your diary for? 247 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,700 Family stuff. 248 00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:30,845 Yellow? 249 00:24:30,850 --> 00:24:32,150 Social. 250 00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:45,250 Now, uh, this book that you're writing about me, 251 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,700 is it just to make your name? 252 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,500 And yours. 253 00:24:54,800 --> 00:25:00,000 I've, uh, had an idea for a job, too. 254 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:07,000 For the foreign businessman what doesn't have time to waste, 255 00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,000 what does he need? 256 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,500 An office... in a van. 257 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,520 It's lateral thinking, isn't it? 258 00:25:22,950 --> 00:25:26,980 Gets off the plane at Stansted, straight into the back of me van. 259 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:30,150 That will have everything: 260 00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:34,450 good-looking bird what can do shorthand, 261 00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:42,250 fax, internet, wires all over the fucking gaff. It's brilliant. 262 00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,450 Red sauce or brown? 263 00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:48,150 Oh, yes please. I mean, uh, red. 264 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,200 - What—What's— - Oh yeah, that fella upstairs 265 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:59,200 is gonna make me a bed what folds up against the wall, like what James Bond has. 266 00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:02,959 - Ooh. - Yeah. It's got to have, um, 267 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:08,825 springs and latches on the floor otherwise it's boing, boing, whoosh! 268 00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,000 Boing, boing, whoosh? 269 00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:16,950 You know what I mean, bird's not going to be too happy if she gets her face 270 00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:20,350 squeezed up against the plaster, is she? 271 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,400 Hey. 272 00:26:27,750 --> 00:26:28,700 Sorry. 273 00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:35,000 Good stuff, that. You can use it with anything. 274 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:44,500 See that right by the bed? This should be a huge stain where I overdosed there last week. 275 00:26:44,501 --> 00:26:52,000 And all the spilled cans and vomit. That cleaned it up really, really well, actually. 276 00:26:53,400 --> 00:27:02,250 But you want to, um, you want to leave it, uh, for about... about a week before you vacuum. 277 00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:31,000 Here you are, mate. 278 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,515 Careful, yeah? It's a bit hot. 279 00:27:50,470 --> 00:27:53,150 I never asked you why you were in prison. 280 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,750 The last time— Stupid things. 281 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:04,500 Me mate, Smithy, well bubblegum chap, 282 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,100 I'm not being funny, he's in the Guinness Book of Records. 283 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,150 1983 edition, as it goes. 284 00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:17,200 Like brothers fighting the world. 285 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,200 Respect, trust, and honour. 286 00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:31,100 Go, go, go, go, go! 287 00:28:33,050 --> 00:28:33,600 Right. 288 00:28:41,150 --> 00:28:42,250 Ow. 289 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,900 - Oh, fuck. Did you get menthols? - Menthols? Fuck off. 290 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,950 - She'll fucking kill me. She asked for menthols. - Well, give her the vodka. 291 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,395 She don't want vodka, she wants menthols! 292 00:29:14,150 --> 00:29:15,900 Go, go, go, go, go! 293 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,900 Aw, I don't believe it! These aren't fucking menthols either! 294 00:29:19,950 --> 00:29:23,370 They're just in a green packet. I've got ten packets of green cigarettes. 295 00:29:27,415 --> 00:29:29,000 Hurry up. 296 00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:31,000 25 quid, 60!? 297 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:36,670 Women! They think they can boss you about in everything, don't they? 298 00:29:36,830 --> 00:29:42,000 And one day, Smithy got a tip-off. 299 00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:49,250 - 20,000 quid? - Just keeps it under the counter. 300 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,100 Not a cop shop in 20 miles. 301 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,300 Fucking— That's fucking irresponsible. 302 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,900 No pride of ownership. 303 00:30:04,850 --> 00:30:06,000 Go, go, go, go, go! 304 00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:11,500 Right. 305 00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:26,950 Let's just say it was funny because as soon as we was sent down, 306 00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:30,600 Smithy's missus moved in with the fella what told us about the job. 307 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,400 Five years. 308 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,000 Pretty steep sentence. Were you armed? 309 00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:41,500 No. 310 00:30:47,550 --> 00:30:49,125 Only with a crowbar. 311 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:05,250 Hey, Alexander? You wanna stay for tea? 312 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,150 Me favourite, "convict curry". 313 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,950 We used to make it in jail. 314 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Ooh, mushrooms! 315 00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,550 - What about the first time, then? - First time what? 316 00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:34,000 Well, that you were sentenced as an adult. 317 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:51,500 I can't— I can't really talk about that, mate. 318 00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,300 But, I mean, robbing an empty post office is— 319 00:32:00,301 --> 00:32:08,200 Burgle. Rob people, burgle post offices. 320 00:32:08,370 --> 00:32:12,500 Yeah, but what I mean is it's hardly a Schedule 1 offence, is it? 321 00:32:12,750 --> 00:32:14,000 Of course not. 322 00:32:16,750 --> 00:32:18,500 Well, that's serious, isn't it? 323 00:32:32,050 --> 00:32:34,300 It wasn't kiddie fiddling. 324 00:32:41,350 --> 00:32:44,050 I didn't say that it was. 325 00:32:46,850 --> 00:32:48,350 It wasn't. 326 00:32:54,050 --> 00:32:56,250 We'll talk about it Thursday, yeah? 327 00:32:59,300 --> 00:33:01,300 Thursday afternoon. 328 00:33:06,750 --> 00:33:08,700 Another time, right? 329 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,000 Then you mop with the bread. Mop up your juices. 330 00:34:18,850 --> 00:34:22,550 So, smash the window, break the steering wheel lock 331 00:34:22,551 --> 00:34:25,250 by turning the wheel in opposing directions. 332 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:30,400 Yeah. And if the street is too public to use a brick... 333 00:34:30,450 --> 00:34:35,000 Slide stick. Remove the metal band from a pallet of bricks, reduce to eighteen inches, 334 00:34:35,001 --> 00:34:38,450 remove a notch from one side, insert into door panel. 335 00:34:39,740 --> 00:34:42,250 Ba-kow! I'm in the post office! Boot in the rubble! 336 00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:45,500 No, there's no point in ram-raiding a post office. 337 00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:48,250 - Why not? - Can't you not pay attention? 338 00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:53,710 There's no point in ram-raiding a fucking post office. There's never no money in the till, is there? 339 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,900 Gone are them days. 340 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,200 I forgot money. 341 00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:06,850 Here. 342 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,200 No, no, no, no. I'll get a taxi, I'll stop at a bank on the way. 343 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,160 No, honestly, take it. It's me beer money. 344 00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:17,890 You'll be doing me a favour. 345 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,250 You'll be doing society a favour. 346 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,425 And buy a fucking car. 347 00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:27,750 Get yourself a fucking license. 348 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,500 Oh, I almost forgot. 349 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,250 Here. Bought you this. 350 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,200 Your black mists. 351 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,100 Thought you could talk into it next time you're in one. 352 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,000 You'll be okay? 353 00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:45,100 Call if you need any help. 354 00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:48,450 2am, 4am, anytime. 355 00:35:48,550 --> 00:35:52,200 Yeah, so you can bring a fucking camera? 356 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:56,300 Oi! 357 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,510 You're alright, Alexander. 358 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:27,399 Often used to say to Stuart, "I wish I could just pick you up sometimes, 359 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:31,860 turn you upside down and shake all the bad things out of your head, 360 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:34,400 then put you back up the right way again." 361 00:36:36,075 --> 00:36:37,700 The change in him. 362 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,700 We just couldn't understand it. 363 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,310 And of course I would like to thank you all for coming here today 364 00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:49,050 to hear me talk about the campaign and the petition. 365 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:53,950 Stuart and I gave nine or ten talks together about the campaign that spring 366 00:36:53,975 --> 00:36:57,900 in Burmingham, London, Oxford, and of course villages around Cambridge. 367 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000 Mr Stuart Clive Shorter. 368 00:36:59,150 --> 00:37:03,549 I'd speak first, and then Stuart would get up and knock the audience off its 369 00:37:03,550 --> 00:37:05,100 seats with the story of his life. 370 00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:13,900 A typical suicide attempt, just an unbearable sense of hatred, waste— 371 00:37:13,930 --> 00:37:17,000 "I am the nightmare you frighten your children with", he said. 372 00:37:17,010 --> 00:37:20,600 "The sort of person these two charity workers were trying to help to get off your streets." 373 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:25,250 "We should have awarded Ruth and John medals instead of sending them to prison." 374 00:37:25,255 --> 00:37:32,100 —so I just twisted around and I emptied everything that remained into my right buttock. 375 00:37:32,105 --> 00:37:34,000 Stuart did two things for the campaign, really. 376 00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:36,700 He folded letters 377 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,800 and he exposed his soul. 378 00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:46,000 That alright? 379 00:37:53,700 --> 00:37:56,000 - Exactly. So, if we write— - Oh, this is your name. 380 00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:58,500 If we solve the puzzle, do we solve you? 381 00:38:00,350 --> 00:38:03,500 He's just... He's just very, very interesting, you know? 382 00:38:03,501 --> 00:38:04,950 He tells me about a world I knew nothing about 383 00:38:04,965 --> 00:38:08,500 and... I... I just like him. 384 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:15,000 It's absolutely extraordinary. He knows the exact day that he changed into a sociopath. 385 00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:17,000 Between 4pm and 5pm. The exact day! 386 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,300 It's like knowing what was in Dr Jekyll's potion that turned him into Mr Hyde. 387 00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:30,200 This thing, Stuart's black mist, came that night. 388 00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:33,500 Apparently it started by a knife fight. 389 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,050 The first I heard about it was a call a day later from his mother. 390 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,000 At least there's no blood. 391 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,650 Usually there is blood. 392 00:38:57,100 --> 00:38:58,800 Perhaps the cleaners have been 'round. 393 00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:01,650 Just for the blood. 394 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,600 Campaign's helped him a lot, you know. 395 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:15,750 Kept him straight. 396 00:39:16,370 --> 00:39:19,250 Ain't been this happy since he was a little boy. 397 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,050 "Alexander only." 398 00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:44,300 Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and that, but 399 00:39:44,301 --> 00:39:47,000 I can't help reflect about— 400 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,440 Stuart had been bailed to appear at Cambridge Magistrate's Court. 401 00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:57,700 I went with him for moral support. 402 00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:15,800 They don't look too upset to be here. 403 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:20,100 Well, wait till they get to Crown Court, that's when it gets serious. 404 00:40:20,150 --> 00:40:22,200 Godspeed the day. 405 00:40:31,510 --> 00:40:33,000 Excuse me, you're about to fall off— 406 00:40:33,001 --> 00:40:33,900 Fuck off. 407 00:40:34,810 --> 00:40:36,999 Good lad, just say that to the nasty man with the wig and 408 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,310 everything will be fine. 409 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:45,500 Sometimes it takes so long you forget what your fucking crime was. 410 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:51,500 Here, listen to this. It's the little 'un. 411 00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:58,350 If I don't know you, fuck off! I'm not in and I don't wanna talk to you! 412 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,700 I didn't think it was like that. 413 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:07,000 I was thinking maybe he should go to business school. 414 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:09,800 But now I don't know. 415 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,900 He ain't right. 416 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:17,300 I've had to have words with him about the importance of politeness. 417 00:41:17,550 --> 00:41:18,700 He's fourteen. 418 00:41:18,990 --> 00:41:21,300 It really shocked me, to be honest. 419 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:24,900 Mr Shorter? 420 00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:31,200 According to police statements they could smell smoking oil when they arrived on the scene. 421 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:33,200 Chip fat. 422 00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:44,000 It was the anniversary of my brother's death. 423 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,320 I wanted to burn the devil out of myself. 424 00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:29,004 The Magistrate's Court decided they couldn't handle the complexities of Stuart's case 425 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:31,500 so they referred it to the Crown Court. 426 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,450 Disgrace. Forty policemen and you still get bailed? 427 00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:37,330 Beats me why you hate the system. 428 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,310 Well, my mum says she doesn't understand it neither. 429 00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:49,650 What did the barrister mean when he was talking about "attempted manslaughter"? 430 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,600 I reckon I tried to cut my neighbour's head off with a bread knife. 431 00:42:56,250 --> 00:42:57,860 You didn't. Did you? 432 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,700 Yeah. 433 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,750 And if he hadn't have moved, I'd have got him too. 434 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:19,000 So you called your neighbour who made your boing-boing-whoosh bed 435 00:43:19,001 --> 00:43:22,300 a poofter and then that's why he lost it? 436 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,360 No, he thought that I called him a poofter. 437 00:43:25,365 --> 00:43:27,900 - And you did nothing of the sort? - No. 438 00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:29,900 Then what did you do? 439 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,200 I just asked his friend if he was a poofter. 440 00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,900 It's not a joke, Alexander! 441 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,075 - Well, I mean— - When my bell's up, I'm looking at life! 442 00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:53,990 I've lost my keys somewhere. 443 00:43:56,900 --> 00:44:01,100 So you didn't call your neighbour who made your boing-boing-whoosh bed a poofter. 444 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,600 But what— What did his mate say when you called... 445 00:44:07,950 --> 00:44:10,000 What did his mate say when you asked him if he was a poofter? 446 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:16,770 Just... said he suffered from premature ejaculation. 447 00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:22,500 Which I thought was quite interesting at the time 448 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,800 because I suffer from the same complaint myself. 449 00:44:39,990 --> 00:44:43,300 Um, I'm going to see some friends in Norfolk next week. 450 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:44,900 Come along. 451 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,900 No, can't. 452 00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:52,650 You heard the Magistrate, I'm not allowed out of Cambridge until me trial. 453 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,200 And another thing about washing machines, right, 454 00:45:03,350 --> 00:45:06,115 this fella on the TV, 455 00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:11,000 he put three of them washing machine inner bits together. 456 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,400 Not even a concrete one. Nothing. 457 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,000 And he said it was a sculpture. 458 00:45:22,150 --> 00:45:24,200 And somebody bought it! 459 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,200 I'm not being funny, yeah? 460 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,200 But there is a viable business opportunity there. 461 00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,000 Rent a barn. 462 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,000 Lay out all the bits. 463 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,120 And when you've had enough of washing machines, 464 00:45:44,350 --> 00:45:45,800 do fridges. 465 00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:51,000 You know, that's what really annoys me, Alexander. 466 00:45:51,010 --> 00:45:55,450 I'm always getting these great ideas, you know, about how to make money. 467 00:45:56,450 --> 00:45:59,200 People are always telling me that they're wrong, you know? 468 00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:01,200 I never get no encouragement. 469 00:46:02,450 --> 00:46:04,600 No encouragement at all. 470 00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:10,050 Can you hold the wheel? 471 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,700 You want some? 472 00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:17,900 Uh, yes. Thank you. 473 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:18,800 Save me some. 474 00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:20,625 I will. 475 00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:27,250 I think I've got a bit of a cold coming. 476 00:46:34,700 --> 00:46:36,700 Here, listen to this! 477 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,150 I apologise for not being currently available. 478 00:46:40,152 --> 00:46:43,000 Be so kind as to leave your name and message. 479 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,300 So, why don't you just get an ordinary job? 480 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,900 - 9 to 5? - That's the one. 481 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,000 Getting up in the morning, coming home late at night. 482 00:46:59,010 --> 00:46:59,990 On the nose. 483 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,300 Full time. 484 00:47:03,700 --> 00:47:05,200 What, have you ever had one of those? 485 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,100 - Nope. - Ohh. 486 00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:12,600 I've done a bit of valeting work for a friend of me brother's. 487 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:14,800 And? 488 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,100 I head-butted the bloke. 489 00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,300 Your version of putting your head down and getting on with it, I suppose. 490 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,990 He tried to fiddle with me sister. 491 00:47:24,910 --> 00:47:28,400 And then later on, you know, ah s— I don't know. 492 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,900 And now you don't know what? 493 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,800 Nothing. Just later on 494 00:47:37,100 --> 00:47:40,000 my brother Gavvy killed himself. 495 00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:43,255 Well, you know don't have to say anything, Stuart. 496 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,650 Talk about it another time. 497 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,600 Yeah. Thanks. 498 00:47:57,700 --> 00:48:00,400 When the police found Gavvy they said he'd really suffered. 499 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,450 The tablets he'd taken had eaten his kidneys and his liver away before he died. 500 00:48:05,765 --> 00:48:08,300 And he had been in absolute agony dying. 501 00:48:08,850 --> 00:48:10,000 And I'm glad. 502 00:48:11,010 --> 00:48:13,300 I'm glad my brother suffered. 503 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:24,500 - Chainsaw carved mushrooms? - Fucking hell. 504 00:48:24,900 --> 00:48:26,220 What did they do to deserve that? 505 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,500 Fucking nice little number you got going here, mate. 506 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,500 You get many knob heads falling for it? 507 00:48:38,502 --> 00:48:40,400 Yeah, plenty. 508 00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:10,450 Oh wow. 509 00:49:11,625 --> 00:49:12,700 I'm James. Good to see you. 510 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,600 Alexander's told me all about you. 511 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,299 Reuben, yes? 512 00:49:18,300 --> 00:49:20,550 - I'm Dido. - Ah, you have a lovely house. 513 00:49:20,650 --> 00:49:22,300 - Hello, darling. - Hi, hi, hi. 514 00:49:22,475 --> 00:49:24,500 - Good to see you. - This is for you. 515 00:49:24,650 --> 00:49:25,500 Ooh, thank you. Lovely, mmm. 516 00:49:25,555 --> 00:49:28,540 Now, Alexander told you that I'm an alcoholic, hasn't he? 517 00:49:28,580 --> 00:49:33,425 I'm also a Schedule 1 offender and a thief, but I won't cause no trouble. 518 00:49:34,500 --> 00:49:37,000 May I have a tour of the estate, please? 519 00:49:37,900 --> 00:49:41,600 - Is that a pear tree? - Yeah. 520 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:44,550 You can make cider out of that. 521 00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,210 And them apples, eh? 522 00:49:48,990 --> 00:49:52,349 Famous actors used to come here and play tennis, like Lawrence Olivier and— 523 00:49:52,350 --> 00:49:54,850 Lawrence Olivier? Really? Right there? 524 00:49:57,925 --> 00:49:59,700 21-Love! 525 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,750 Hey! 526 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,475 You ought to knock all of them trees down and build a go-kart course. 527 00:50:07,580 --> 00:50:10,375 If you fix this place up it would be really lovely here. 528 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,000 Ooh, [indiscernible]. Very nice. 529 00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:12,400 Ooh, it's very tasty. Yeah. 530 00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:18,100 Fucking amazing here. 531 00:51:22,500 --> 00:51:24,300 Yeah, A-fucking-One. 532 00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,700 They're so false. 533 00:51:32,300 --> 00:51:34,100 False tits. 534 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,700 Now, I prefer a bit of natural bounce myself. 535 00:51:41,100 --> 00:51:44,300 I mean, and if they're going to sag, they're going to sag, aren't they? 536 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:54,750 I don't get it, Alexander. 537 00:51:55,100 --> 00:52:00,150 How come you're so interested in homeless people? 538 00:52:01,075 --> 00:52:04,250 I'm not. I was only working at Wintercomfort because the money was good. 539 00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:09,400 Nine quid an hour. And the hours, shift work. 540 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,250 How long are these onions meant to cook? 541 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,500 Till they feel satisfied. 542 00:52:18,750 --> 00:52:20,360 And then it meant I could write in the morning. 543 00:52:22,250 --> 00:52:24,000 Yeah, but why? 544 00:52:24,990 --> 00:52:27,999 Look, Stuart, if I was interested in you as a homeless person, 545 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,550 I'd have been sacked for unprofessional conduct ages ago. 546 00:52:30,950 --> 00:52:33,550 - So? - So I like you as a friend, is that so bad? 547 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:39,475 Fenugreek? 548 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,650 It's a bit weird if you ask me. 549 00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:47,990 Couldn't agree more. 550 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:56,050 —seven, eight. There's always somebody what won't want two. 551 00:53:02,650 --> 00:53:04,000 Yeah, but why? 552 00:53:05,700 --> 00:53:08,200 Because you're funny, intelligent, good company. 553 00:53:08,202 --> 00:53:11,100 What do you want, a fucking love letter? Now shut up and drink your freaking beer. 554 00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:19,200 Marvellous. 555 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,100 - What was it again? - "Convict Curry". 556 00:53:33,900 --> 00:53:36,800 Hey Stuart, it's Thursday! You gotta tell! 557 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,780 No, not now. 558 00:53:38,890 --> 00:53:40,500 Come on. A promise is a promise. 559 00:53:40,620 --> 00:53:43,370 Come on, you've talked to us about everything else. 560 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,550 Give it a rest, Alexander. 561 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,200 - You don't wanna know. - Stuart's first prison sentence. 562 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,025 He'll only talk about it on a Thursday 563 00:53:52,100 --> 00:53:55,999 because he gets his dole money Wednesday afternoons, which means that 564 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,900 if talking about it upsets him, he's still got enough heroin left to calm him down. 565 00:53:59,901 --> 00:54:01,000 Is that right? 566 00:54:05,070 --> 00:54:06,500 It was nothing. 567 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,700 I was— 568 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,000 I was in the pub one night. 569 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,500 It was the little 'un's birthday. 570 00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,450 I was, I was in the pub celebrating. 571 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,700 It was over ten years ago. 572 00:54:28,850 --> 00:54:31,000 This bloke says... 573 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,300 It was just nastiness. 574 00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:35,000 Come on. 575 00:54:35,650 --> 00:54:38,000 Alexander, please. 576 00:54:38,500 --> 00:54:40,700 Look, Thursday's the day. 577 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000 So I come home. 578 00:54:57,700 --> 00:55:01,000 [Indiscernible] says, "you've been fucking [indiscernible]." 579 00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,000 You're drunk. 580 00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:07,600 If you want it, you gotta rape me. 581 00:55:14,450 --> 00:55:16,400 I'll fucking kill you, you cunt! 582 00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,500 Get out! 583 00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:20,990 You wanted a fucking baby! 584 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:33,100 And I think then I realised that I had made a proper mess of it all, really. 585 00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:34,500 I'm fucking leaving. 586 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,100 You fucking are now! 587 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,500 Did you fuck around with me!? Yeah!? 588 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,010 I'm a bit ashamed of that to be honest. 589 00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:02,180 Go on, fuck off! Fuck off, [indiscernible]. Oh, for fuck's sake. 590 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:03,500 Go on, fuck off! 591 00:56:06,500 --> 00:56:07,650 Fucking hell! 592 00:56:07,950 --> 00:56:09,000 It's alright. 593 00:56:09,210 --> 00:56:10,300 Fuck off! 594 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,000 So we sat around for a bit 595 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,300 and decided we'd come out together. 596 00:56:24,300 --> 00:56:28,000 We're coming out now. We're together. 597 00:56:29,700 --> 00:56:30,950 I'm sorry. 598 00:56:33,900 --> 00:56:35,000 Go! Get him! 599 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,500 Connie, just shoot the fucker! 600 00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:49,170 He just lost it. It's not Stuart. 601 00:56:51,350 --> 00:56:53,000 Move! Move! 602 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,500 Lovely stay, Alexander. Thank you very much. 603 00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:57,950 I really enjoyed it. 604 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:06,990 I was really surprised, Alexander, to be honest. 605 00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:11,175 I thought that middle class people had something wrong with them, you know? 606 00:58:11,325 --> 00:58:17,400 But they're just ordinary, aren't they? I was a bit shocked, to tell the truth. 607 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,500 Over the next few months Stuart's trial for the attempted manslaughter 608 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:28,300 of his not poofter, boing-boing-whoosh bed making neighbour was postponed once, 609 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,000 twice, 610 00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,650 a third time, 611 00:58:35,550 --> 00:58:36,800 and then a fourth. 612 00:58:40,525 --> 00:58:44,990 He needed some cash so I gave him 250 quid for his car 613 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,300 and I'm still waiting for the paperwork. 614 00:58:48,550 --> 00:58:51,400 Meanwhile, the campaign went from strength to strength. 615 00:58:51,950 --> 00:58:55,300 Newsletters, petitions, protests, even benefit gigs. 616 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,950 And then it was Stuart's bright idea to go and see our local MP. 617 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,500 Oh shit. 618 00:59:07,230 --> 00:59:09,800 I'm sorry, I'm just a bit nervous is all. 619 00:59:13,900 --> 00:59:15,700 Mr Shorter is not from Anne's constituency— 620 00:59:15,705 --> 00:59:19,990 I'm from Anne's constituency. I wish to take Stuart as my guest. 621 00:59:19,991 --> 00:59:21,100 Alexander... 622 00:59:21,101 --> 00:59:22,450 For that you'll have to make a new appointment. 623 00:59:22,451 --> 00:59:24,300 Oh, rubbish! She's got nothing else to do, has she? 624 00:59:25,050 --> 00:59:30,550 The council is not gonna have no emergency winter shelter for the homeless. 625 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,800 And I'm frightened— 626 00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:43,000 In winter it's smack what keeps you fucking— 627 00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:50,000 I'm sorry. 628 00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:52,900 —keeps you warm. 629 00:59:54,000 --> 01:00:00,050 But this year there's going to be one more death a month, again. 630 01:00:01,900 --> 01:00:02,800 Why? 631 01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:05,350 Puppies. 632 01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,600 I'm not sure I follow you. 633 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,500 On the streets. 634 01:00:14,500 --> 01:00:16,000 Pup—puppies. 635 01:00:22,150 --> 01:00:25,600 'Cause the homeless love their dogs, right? 636 01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:31,400 But the hostels only allow two to three places for pets. 637 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:36,900 So, if there has been two new litters, 638 01:00:37,150 --> 01:00:40,049 then loads more people are gonna have dogs, aren't they? 639 01:00:40,050 --> 01:00:45,800 And therefore will be forced to sleep out. 640 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:54,100 And hence... therefore... furthermore, more deaths. 641 01:00:58,900 --> 01:01:04,800 You see, on the street it's the little things that kill people. 642 01:01:13,625 --> 01:01:17,300 That Justice Howarth must hate the campaign's guts. Humiliation! 643 01:01:17,350 --> 01:01:20,950 Seven months after they were sent down Ruth and John— 644 01:01:20,951 --> 01:01:24,980 —have been released on bail after a high profile campaign by MPs 645 01:01:24,981 --> 01:01:28,008 and other homeless charities, they won the right to appeal against prison sentences 646 01:01:28,010 --> 01:01:30,000 four and five years. 647 01:01:30,010 --> 01:01:33,799 This was our first sight of Ruth Wyner and John Brock on the steps of the 648 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,900 Royal Courts of Justice this morning. 649 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,449 After seven months in jail, the so-called "Cambridge Two" have been released on 650 01:01:39,450 --> 01:01:43,550 unconditional bail and are now free to challenge their original convictions. 651 01:01:44,900 --> 01:01:46,600 I can't see if the light's on. 652 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,999 Stuart, it's Alexander. Stop whatever illegal thing it is 653 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,020 that you're doing and get down here! 654 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:11,100 It's me muscular dystrophy. 655 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:19,000 Humeroscapu... or something. Muscular dystrophy. 656 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,150 It's a real gobstopper, I never learnt the name. 657 01:02:25,300 --> 01:02:27,200 What you don't know can't hurt you. 658 01:02:28,300 --> 01:02:35,799 I only came in to see the nurse because I wanted a cuddle and it spits too soon. 659 01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,500 Stuart! 660 01:02:38,450 --> 01:02:42,300 I thought maybe it's because of me muscular dystrophy. 661 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000 You know, 'cause your dick's a muscle, isn't it? 662 01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:53,000 It started on me ticker. 663 01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:00,100 They tried twice to put a pacemaker in me tit, 664 01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:07,100 but the veins just crumble 'cause of the amount of critic I've injected. 665 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,800 Gotta laugh, haven't you? 666 01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:28,020 I can't believe he hadn't told you. 667 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:30,990 He tells everyone. About everything. 668 01:03:31,050 --> 01:03:33,350 - Well, now, that's not true. - Mum, yes. 669 01:03:33,950 --> 01:03:36,900 That's his way of coping, isn't it? 670 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,500 Twenty years. Non-stop. 671 01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,100 Ever since he first went on the streets. 672 01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:44,000 Twenty years? 673 01:03:44,550 --> 01:03:48,000 But I thought it was Gavvy's, um, his brother's suicide that made him homeless. 674 01:03:48,010 --> 01:03:49,800 Don't be stupid. 675 01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,900 Stuart had been on and off the streets since he was twelve. 676 01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,000 Then, all of a sudden, this little horror. 677 01:03:55,550 --> 01:03:57,850 Twelve years old, that's when it started. 678 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,600 Gavvy had to run to fetch mum. 679 01:04:02,500 --> 01:04:04,200 Come, it's Stuart! 680 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,550 Put me into care! You hear me!? 681 01:04:07,700 --> 01:04:10,000 Do it now otherwise I'll kill you! 682 01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:15,000 Put me into care now! I'll do the lot of you! Put me into care! 683 01:04:15,001 --> 01:04:18,100 I said, put me into care! 684 01:04:19,300 --> 01:04:20,900 In you get. Watch your head. 685 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,250 He was taken into care that night. 686 01:04:24,990 --> 01:04:26,350 We didn't see him for three weeks. 687 01:04:26,550 --> 01:04:28,150 Another one for you, Mr Laverack. 688 01:04:28,300 --> 01:04:31,100 You're getting popular, he asked to come. 689 01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:35,030 Poor boy. Poor boy. 690 01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:48,500 Out of the frying pan into the fire. 691 01:04:48,700 --> 01:04:50,800 Well, we weren't the frying pan. 692 01:04:50,850 --> 01:04:52,100 You know what I mean. 693 01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,500 We just couldn't understand it. 694 01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,530 People said she ought to disown him. 695 01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,800 How can you wash your hands of your own child? 696 01:05:01,900 --> 01:05:03,500 He's my flesh and blood, I'd say. 697 01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:05,800 He's my son. 698 01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,050 I just wish I could do more. 699 01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:14,324 Working on the book after the end of the campaign, writing, rewriting, 700 01:05:14,325 --> 01:05:18,360 I realised then that I could never hope to justify or explain Stuart. 701 01:05:18,380 --> 01:05:21,330 And whatever had murdered his innocence had long ago ceased 702 01:05:21,331 --> 01:05:23,800 to be simple enough to sort out with words. 703 01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:27,350 All I could hope to do was to staple him to the page. 704 01:05:33,125 --> 01:05:35,100 - Hello? - It's in me tit. 705 01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:39,900 I'm at Papworth Heart Hospital. Come visit. 706 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,790 Yeah, on your way, can you pop in to see me gran and grandpa? 707 01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,500 They've got a present for me. 708 01:05:47,700 --> 01:05:51,200 I told them it smells like sick but they don't listen. 709 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,000 We haven't seen Stuart in years. 710 01:06:02,350 --> 01:06:03,800 Lots of years. 711 01:06:04,150 --> 01:06:07,900 Well, things haven't been very easy for him recently. 712 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,600 His mother says it's the buses. 713 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,750 They're not convenient. 714 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:19,600 Stuart? 715 01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:24,400 - No. - Rory, his son. 716 01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:34,500 - Stuart. - No. 717 01:06:34,550 --> 01:06:36,400 Rex, his dad. 718 01:06:38,350 --> 01:06:40,600 A bad man, his real dad. 719 01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:43,900 Gypsies. 720 01:06:51,700 --> 01:06:52,900 Stuart? 721 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:54,800 Gavvy, Stuey's brother. 722 01:06:55,100 --> 01:06:59,150 One day when Rex was beating our Judith real bad, 723 01:07:00,550 --> 01:07:02,400 Gavvy hit him over the head with a broom. 724 01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:04,500 He was only five. 725 01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:08,930 Rex moved out after that. 726 01:07:13,700 --> 01:07:15,550 I know why Stuart changed. 727 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,500 Gavvy came 'round special to tell me. 728 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,600 Promised I'd never tell. 729 01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:28,560 Three days later he committed suicide. 730 01:07:34,500 --> 01:07:36,330 To celebrate his getting better. 731 01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:39,035 Couldn't decide red or white. 732 01:07:39,170 --> 01:07:43,000 Tell him to come and see us. We've waited long enough. 733 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:46,400 Can't wait forever. 734 01:08:05,750 --> 01:08:07,850 Oh, you fucking star. 735 01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:25,250 I almost died. 736 01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,800 How are Ruth and John? 737 01:08:33,155 --> 01:08:34,850 Not good. 738 01:08:36,980 --> 01:08:38,000 He can't work. 739 01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:41,600 Wife says he cries in his sleep. 740 01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:47,800 And Ruth? 741 01:08:48,100 --> 01:08:49,200 Got cancer. 742 01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:54,100 Bastards. 743 01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:57,600 Now do you see what I mean about the system? 744 01:08:57,810 --> 01:09:00,900 The system. It's the system that's going to keep her alive. 745 01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:05,900 It's the system that's just given you a £5,000 pacemaker for nothing. 746 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,650 - Hello? - Excuse me guys, do either of you know where the toilet is? 747 01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:12,100 Uh, yeah, sure. I saw a sign that said down there on the left. 748 01:09:12,300 --> 01:09:13,500 Thanks, mate. 749 01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,150 Fucking hell. 750 01:09:24,850 --> 01:09:26,750 I need a cigarette. 751 01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:31,150 Yeah, the whole town's like it. 752 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,000 All cripples. 753 01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:39,275 I spent six years in a school like this. 754 01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,800 Day I end up like that, eh, 755 01:09:46,100 --> 01:09:49,100 death day. 756 01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:51,800 Care was like this? 757 01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,500 No. Spagie school. 758 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:58,300 They sent me because of my muscular dystrophy. 759 01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:02,300 Said I wasn't allowed to go to proper school. 760 01:10:02,350 --> 01:10:04,450 Well, it was the '70s. 761 01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:08,010 Funny thing, that. There was nothing wrong with me at that stage. 762 01:10:08,011 --> 01:10:12,300 I was just a bit uncoordinated, but you'd hardly notice. 763 01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:17,500 But they said since I was going to die a spag, 764 01:10:17,505 --> 01:10:20,350 I might as well get used to the idea. 765 01:10:22,850 --> 01:10:26,250 Before I was too spagie to understand, I suppose. 766 01:10:26,251 --> 01:10:27,000 Now all together. 767 01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:30,500 Douchebag! Douchebag! Douchebag! 768 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:36,200 Gimpy! Oi, gimpy, come here! 769 01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:39,000 Where's your brother now? 770 01:10:41,485 --> 01:10:44,200 'Help me! Hold me! Love me!' 771 01:10:49,380 --> 01:10:51,500 We're coming to kill you. 772 01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:06,600 Did they kick the shit out of you? 773 01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:08,600 Every day, mate. 774 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:12,600 Give 'em something to do after school. 775 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,900 Then Gavvy would console me. 776 01:11:19,900 --> 01:11:24,000 Please, not Howarth. Please, not— 777 01:11:24,001 --> 01:11:27,500 Only one month out of Papworth, Stuart's day in court for 778 01:11:27,501 --> 01:11:29,800 attempting to cut off his neighbour's head finally arrived. 779 01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:32,590 We were dreading it would be Ruth and John's old judge. 780 01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:34,600 Oh fuck! 781 01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,200 All rise for Justice Howarth. 782 01:11:39,700 --> 01:11:42,250 At this point Stuart really was looking at being imprisoned for life. 783 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,200 Court is now in session. 784 01:11:56,400 --> 01:12:00,550 This case concerns Stuart Clive Shorter. 785 01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:08,015 Affray, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, 786 01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:11,150 an incident at the accused's flat. 787 01:12:25,500 --> 01:12:29,100 No. No, he just said the whole thing was nonsense. 788 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:33,999 All that adding charges, taking them away, attempted murder, not— 789 01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:36,150 I don't know, I mean, what can I say? 790 01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:39,950 The lucky bastard got off on a series of technicalities. 791 01:12:40,150 --> 01:12:43,000 You know what Judge Howarth thinks about— 792 01:12:43,005 --> 01:12:46,600 Oh shit. Stuart, I'm so sorry. Are you alright? 793 01:12:46,900 --> 01:12:48,200 I'm so sorry. 794 01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:54,650 He's free! He's absolutely fucking free. 795 01:13:26,700 --> 01:13:28,300 Oh, you're disgusting. 796 01:13:32,500 --> 01:13:34,500 Wakey, wakey. 797 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:45,300 Sun has got his hat on, mate. Sun has got his hat on, mate. 798 01:13:46,100 --> 01:13:47,850 Rise and shine! 799 01:13:48,030 --> 01:13:50,950 Now, I've got to try on a suit for me sister's wedding. 800 01:13:51,290 --> 01:13:53,300 Can you give me a lift? 801 01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,300 Have you listened to the tape? 802 01:14:22,300 --> 01:14:27,400 I was nine, Alexander, when it started. Nine. 803 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:31,325 It was three years of abuse. 804 01:14:32,950 --> 01:14:34,900 My own brother. 805 01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:43,050 And then his mate joined in. 806 01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:57,320 That night, I ju— I couldn't, I couldn't take it no more, you know? 807 01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:01,120 They had done everything. 808 01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,800 There was nothing more they could do. 809 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,850 - You got any more of these? - Yeah, backseat, I think. 810 01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:42,200 I think the reason mum still pampers him like she does 811 01:15:42,201 --> 01:15:45,150 is because she feels guilty about what Gavvy did. 812 01:15:45,700 --> 01:15:47,800 But he did the same to me. 813 01:15:49,770 --> 01:15:51,010 I'm the same as Stu. 814 01:15:51,030 --> 01:15:54,300 One minute, nice as pie; next minute, I'm a rattlesnake. 815 01:15:56,000 --> 01:16:00,000 How'd I get to be like this? What murdered the little boy I was? 816 01:16:00,001 --> 01:16:02,420 When the police found Gavvy, they said he'd really suffered. 817 01:16:05,750 --> 01:16:07,100 Legs all over the show. 818 01:16:08,350 --> 01:16:10,250 That boy has suffered. 819 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:13,000 Happy-go-lucky little thing. 820 01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:15,200 Mr Laverack. 821 01:16:15,750 --> 01:16:18,100 - Poor boy. Poor boy. - Out of the frying pan into the fire. 822 01:16:18,101 --> 01:16:21,000 - Put me into care now! - Douchebag! Douchebag! 823 01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:24,850 - Douchebag! Douchebag! Douchebag! - We're coming to kill you. 824 01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:29,010 The tablets he'd taken had eaten his kidneys and his liver away before he died. 825 01:16:29,011 --> 01:16:31,500 Always such a caring boy. Happy-go-lucky little thing. 826 01:16:31,900 --> 01:16:33,800 And I'm glad. 827 01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:35,355 I'm glad Gavvy suffered. 828 01:16:44,025 --> 01:16:45,650 That's Gavvy. 829 01:16:50,075 --> 01:16:52,120 That's Gavvy and me. 830 01:16:57,900 --> 01:17:00,020 So he's what murdered the boy you were. 831 01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:05,240 - What made you change. - Ah, wasn't that. 832 01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,150 What was it then? 833 01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:17,500 So many people have had the same sort of childhood and experiences 834 01:17:17,501 --> 01:17:22,430 as what I have and they learn to accept and cope and live a very, 835 01:17:23,500 --> 01:17:27,195 in brackets, "normal and competitive life". 836 01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:30,100 I'm quite philosophical about that. 837 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:37,500 If you had to change one thing about your life, what would it be? 838 01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,050 Well, how much is one thing? 839 01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:44,000 It's very easy to blame, isn't it? 840 01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:47,900 Me muscular dystrophy? 841 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,400 Nonces? 842 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,300 Gavvy? 843 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,340 Honestly, it'd be easier to change me. 844 01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:58,800 One thing only. 845 01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:09,620 The day I discovered violence. 846 01:18:11,500 --> 01:18:13,400 Me step-father 847 01:18:13,600 --> 01:18:17,000 said if I didn't go out there and stick up for myself, 848 01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:19,500 he'd belt us once. 849 01:18:53,300 --> 01:18:56,100 Fucking fantastic. 850 01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:02,100 Weakling became strong. 851 01:19:03,500 --> 01:19:06,200 The day that I found violence 852 01:19:07,100 --> 01:19:10,050 I felt fifty times more strong. 853 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:18,100 After you've been bullied and pushed about, called spastic, 854 01:19:18,150 --> 01:19:26,975 you learn that violence, and fear of violence, and madness, it scares people. 855 01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:34,000 I used to deliberately get myself in a rage. 856 01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:38,900 And after six months, I found I couldn't stop them. 857 01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:42,550 I wasn't making the madness up no more. 858 01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:48,400 You know what, Alexander? 859 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:54,100 I don't know myself or [indiscernible]. 860 01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,000 Madness. 861 01:19:58,100 --> 01:20:02,300 Sometimes I think I'm the child of the devil. 862 01:20:03,250 --> 01:20:05,500 I let the devil in. 863 01:20:08,200 --> 01:20:10,400 Now I can't get him out. 864 01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:13,700 I tried... 865 01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:17,530 burning him out, and cutting him out, and... 866 01:20:19,900 --> 01:20:22,000 he don't take no notice. 867 01:20:22,700 --> 01:20:23,900 Why should he? 868 01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:26,925 He don't wanna be homeless. 869 01:20:38,700 --> 01:20:40,090 You know, there's still one question left. 870 01:20:40,110 --> 01:20:43,000 - What's that, mate? - Guess. 871 01:20:44,060 --> 01:20:46,050 We're writing the book backwards, 872 01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:50,300 so what's the last bit of information we need? 873 01:20:53,800 --> 01:20:55,500 What's your date of birth? 874 01:20:55,900 --> 01:20:57,900 Oh, right, yeah. 875 01:20:59,500 --> 01:21:02,130 I am Stuart Clive Shorter. 876 01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:09,250 I was born on the 19th of the 9th, 1968. 877 01:21:12,900 --> 01:21:15,000 So, you're... 878 01:21:15,900 --> 01:21:21,200 - You're 33. - I am 33. I'm getting older, as they say. 879 01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:29,050 And I have led a very controversial and unpleasant life. 880 01:21:31,380 --> 01:21:33,000 Oh, yeah. 881 01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:39,100 Eh? Best man or what, eh? 882 01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:46,500 It is gonna be grand. 883 01:22:09,900 --> 01:22:12,000 P—P—P—Peterborough, Cambridge— 884 01:22:14,700 --> 01:22:21,700 —on 96 and 95.7 FM. And 1026 AM. BBC Radio Cambridgeshire. 885 01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,200 The top story this hour— 886 01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:33,050 —near the French entrance to the channel tunnel. 887 01:22:33,100 --> 01:22:36,000 Police have now formally indentified the man who died after being hit 888 01:22:36,001 --> 01:22:38,600 by a train near Cambridge early this morning. 889 01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:42,010 He was Stuart Shorter, a 33-year-old from Waterbeach. 890 01:22:42,011 --> 01:22:47,000 The coroner has been informed and an inquest will take place at a date to be fixed. 891 01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:01,000 Judith? It's Alexander. 892 01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:10,100 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 893 01:23:10,150 --> 01:23:12,070 Was it suicide? 894 01:23:12,900 --> 01:23:15,325 I don't know. He didn't leave a note. 895 01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:19,000 But then, suicides often don't. 896 01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:24,600 All I do know is that he stepped in front of the 11:15 Cambridge to Kings Lynn. 897 01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:30,000 —I have overcome the world, says the Lord. 898 01:23:30,150 --> 01:23:34,100 Since the Earthly life of Stuart has come to an end, 899 01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:37,800 we commit his body to be buried. 900 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:42,000 Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 901 01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:46,100 In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life. 902 01:23:46,200 --> 01:23:50,000 - To our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen. - Amen. 903 01:24:44,500 --> 01:24:47,000 Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. 904 01:24:47,010 --> 01:24:48,900 Hello, Stuart. 905 01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:57,000 You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and that, but I can't help reflect about my brother 906 01:24:57,800 --> 01:24:59,900 and my brother's friend. 907 01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:02,000 And they didn't believe me. 908 01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:04,900 And they didn't care. 909 01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:06,500 The abuse. 910 01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:11,380 Being asked to do things that I wouldn't have thought possible that anyone 911 01:25:11,381 --> 01:25:14,230 could ask of an 11-year-old. 912 01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:26,000 I'm just head-butting, and head-butting, and head-butting, and head-butting. 913 01:25:26,150 --> 01:25:31,000 The more that you speak, the more they disbelieve. 914 01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:35,300 And nobody was listening to anything I had to say. 915 01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,990 When I've got my drink inside me 916 01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:44,300 I sit here having mad conversations with myself. 917 01:25:44,600 --> 01:25:47,310 Talking about mutilating myself, 918 01:25:48,350 --> 01:25:51,000 killing myself, 919 01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:55,000 tracking down those who are responsible. 920 01:25:56,000 --> 01:26:00,000 I want to just lay down and die. 921 01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:06,100 I feel so dirty, and fucking horrible 922 01:26:06,130 --> 01:26:10,300 and hating and attacking anyone I get close to. 923 01:26:11,550 --> 01:26:13,000 I just wish 924 01:26:14,500 --> 01:26:15,900 once 925 01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:20,000 there could be an escape from this madness. 926 01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:37,600 The book was finally published in April 2005. 927 01:26:41,300 --> 01:26:43,500 I think Stuart would have liked it. 71051

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