Original subtitles

Bro. It was funny. Two seconds ago. Seriously, man. What were you thinking,

I don't understand you, Bruce.

I'll tell you.

Bro, have you seen this on any other day? Any fucking other day there'd be

bitches here and there and there and there. Yeah, but still, man. You told

like, come to the pool, Evan. Come to the pool, Evan. Come to the pool.

nothing but hotties. Everywhere we go, there's nothing but hotties.

And now, bro, we're here, dude, and there's no hotties. Let's go to the

then.

You think there's going to be hotties at the beach, too? Bro, look at the

weather, bro.

Look at that. It's borderline hurricane out here.

No, I'm not from here.

I'm from California, bro. We don't have rain.

What do you mean you don't have rain?

What is this shit?

This is rain. This is South Florida, baby.

Jeez, we're the only... And what's worse is that we're the only two guys up

here.

Literally, you promised me hot chicks, big tits. Boobs are all nine.

I don't understand you.

I don't know, bro. Let's go try something else.

Let's go have some mimosas.

What?

What are you, a 40 -year -old chick now?

Whatever, bro.

I don't understand. I lost my whole fucking vibe now. I don't even want to

up bitches.

Let's go. Let's just go fucking.

I don't know. Let's go play mini golf or something.

Mini golf. That's the best idea.

That's what you want to do.

Let's go drink our stars and play shuffleboard.

How about that?

Shuffleboard? I don't even know how to play shuffleboard.

Where does one even play shuffleboard at? Tell me. At the bar, bro. Tell me.

What are you doing? What was that? That was my muscle memory.

I don't even know what that means. I'm fucking a master shuffleboarder. I'm

like, bro.

What did I say? What? Look behind me.

Oh, the chick with the jean skirt and the t -shirt?

Well, she's not that bad. I mean, she's kind of... Yeah, I guess she's... I

don't know where the fuck she's hiding.

Bro, she's wearing a jean skirt, bro. To the pool.

She might be fucking, like, from Iowa or something. I don't know. Like, she

probably might be on vacation.

I don't even know what to say to you right now, bro.

Your rationale is she might be from Iowa?

What does that mean, Bruce?

Look at her. Look, she's going in the water with the jeans turned on, dude.

Who does that?

I don't know.

Yo, look at it.

She's so ridiculous.

What is going on here, bro?

She's definitely not from here, bro. She doesn't know any better. Your Iowa girl

is literally ridiculous right now, bro.

Well, hey, it's not like, you know what I'm saying? Like, look at us. We're out

here.

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me right now?

Dude, is this real?

Dude. She's from Brazil. Oh, first she's from Iowa. Now she's from Brazil. I

don't know. That looks like a Brazilian bikini or something like that. Like, Oh

my God.

Oh,

yo,

can we, can we please go talk to her?

Come on.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

This way, this way, this way. Don't be a perv. Don't be a perv. Hey.

No, don't act like you're looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty cool. So this

is the pool area?

Yeah, this is the pool. And it comes with the penthouse?

Yeah. Oh, hey. How are you doing?

Oh, I'm good.

I'm sorry. I was just showing my friend this apartment here.

Are you from here?

No, actually, I'm just visiting a friend.

What kind of bathing suit are you wearing right now? I didn't think

going to be here.

You see? You see? Nobody comes to the pool, dude, in the rain.

So many people come here. You can't even imagine.

We're going to wear this and cause a riot.

I wasn't planning on seeing anyone, so I didn't want too many tan lights. Where

are you from?

I'm from Florida.

Florida? Yeah.

What's your name?

My name's Lexi.

Lexi. Evan, nice to meet you. This is Bruce.

So, dude, are a lot of people normally here?

Yeah. Yeah, it's literally, I mean, there's nobody right now because we're

pretty early, but, I mean. There's actually cameras. Yeah, there's cameras

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Give her your towel. Be a gentleman. Give her your towel. Just give her your

towel.

Yeah.

Jeez.

You know, we're going to need that towel back, by the way, just so you know.

Well, I have my own.

Oh. Well, then we can make an exchange later on.

I don't even know what to call this. Is this a bikini or like that?

Call it swimwear.

Swimmer.

Call it swimwear. You look like a swimmer.

Yeah. Yeah. You know. What are you guys doing?

Well, the thing is, okay, Ruthie over here said that there's going to be a

bunch of hotties here.

And then when we got here, it was just him and I.

Because I'm trying to get him to get another apartment here.

Oh, you live here?

Yeah, I live here. Oh, okay.

He's got one of the penthouses here, so.

Oh.

Trying to recruit and get some money for a recruiting fee?

No, no, no, nothing like that. I'm just trying to have the homie here, you know.

Do you have one of those with a nice open balcony?

Oh, you know about that?

Do you have one also? Well, my friend lived here, so I'm visiting my friend.

She doesn't have one here, but I keep seeing them around when we're walking

around. Oh, Bruce.

Bruce.

Tell her about the patio, bro.

It's very private.

So can I come up and see it?

If you want to lay out, you can check it out.

Can I lay out there maybe naked?

As long as you guys aren't filming me. I mean, it's not like this is... No, no,

no. We're definitely not going to film you. But here's the thing, though.

Bruce is very, very kind of, like, protective over his stuff. And I'm

sure, Bruce, you want your towel back, right?

Yeah, I do want my towel back.

So... It's okay.

Do you want to just give it to him now so that way he doesn't feel awkward?

Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Just because, like, I'm... My brain or something.

It's pretty sunny right now, but you never know the weather. Yeah, there's a

whole bunch of people that's coming. Let me get up for you. Let me get up for

you.

So, what was that thing?

I forgot. I think you were going to show me the patio. Oh, yeah, let's go to the

patio. So I'm just going to grab my shoes.

Yeah, don't forget those.

Thank you.

Madame.

What do you think baby?

You know what else is really nice?

What? My couch.

My couch is a nice couch. We'll call it a seat.

Yeah, we'll call it a seat.

Well, here. I mean, don't be shy.

You're already a... I mean, let me take that from you. I mean, I'm going to keep

my knowledge.

What?

Yeah, you look like a really modest girl. Yeah. So,

what is this thing I'm getting?

This is my bikini.

This is a bikini? Uh -huh. Well, it's like a monokini.

Is that a technical term?

Well, you know, it covers the most important thing.

That's really awesome.

What? I just go like this.

You're like pretty much naked.

Did you make that yourself?

No. The girlfriend staying with here let me borrow it because I don't really

have anything that's skimpy enough.

Really? To not get terrible tan lines in.

Hmm.

That would probably be some interesting tan lines.

You'd have like an arrow pointing at your vagina.

Oh my gosh, you're right. It is like an arrow.

No. If that was the tan line, technically, that would be an arrow.

That's so funny.

You're creative.

Maybe I should be an artist, like a tan line artist.

Maybe. I should become a bikini, you know.

Does it create an arrow in the back as well?

Let's see.

I don't think so.

Oh, no. There really wouldn't be a line or anything.

I can't really see where this is going. You know what that's for, though, right?

Oh, well.

After lunch, in case you have something stuck in your teeth.

Maybe just block it out.

Sorry. Well, technically, you didn't eat anything just yet. Oh, I didn't.

But, I mean, I am hungry.

He is. He really is. Very hungry.

You're so naughty. Yeah, I mean, and I do have Fawkes on deck. I mean, you

perhaps I could, you know, we could have lunch together.

Well, let me at least take my shoes off. Oh, no, I like those shoes.

No, but I don't want to get your couch dirty.

That would be rude.

Couches.

I don't know how to flex. I used to have muscles.

That was before I went on this diet that I want.

You're on a diet? Yeah, I'm on a diet. Luckily.

What's on your diet?

Pretty much just, um, just this.

A pussy diet?

Yeah, I'm on a pussy diet.

Wow, did you see this pussy? Don't show me.

The only thing that was hidden by the bikini, and it happens to be amazing.

Why would you hide the best part? The best part, right?

No, I mean, I'm modest.

You are modest, I can see that.

I don't want anybody to see all of it. Oh my.

Are you having a good time? Are you happy right now? You seem like you might

a little excited.

into it like the oh well you know something about a micro what monokini

just makes me you know i like

that yeah

You weren't planning on this?

You were very modest, I have to say.

Do you like these tips?

I can show you my apartment.

You're right, the view is great.

I want to see you ride this thing.

It helps with tan lines.

It doesn't really.

Thank you.

You ready for some more good stuff