Original subtitles

Welcome once again to the Daily Show. My

Welcome once again to the Daily Show. My

Welcome once again to the Daily Show. My name is Joe Stewart. Great show for you

name is Joe Stewart. Great show for you

name is Joe Stewart. Great show for you tonight. And I don't say that every

tonight. And I don't say that every

tonight. And I don't say that every time.

Later on, we're going to be joined by a

Later on, we're going to be joined by a

Later on, we're going to be joined by a journalist Josh Tierall. Wrote a book

journalist Josh Tierall. Wrote a book

journalist Josh Tierall. Wrote a book about how AI can help solve the world's

about how AI can help solve the world's

about how AI can help solve the world's problems. And uh from what I understand,

problems. And uh from what I understand,

problems. And uh from what I understand, uh he wrote it with AI.

>> But first, I want to check in on the

>> But first, I want to check in on the

>> But first, I want to check in on the president. you know, his approval rating

president. you know, his approval rating

president. you know, his approval rating is currently lower

is currently lower

is currently lower than really ever. I think it's it's

than really ever. I think it's it's

than really ever. I think it's it's really it's not it's not good. Uh really

really it's not it's not good. Uh really

really it's not it's not good. Uh really thanks to a combination of inflation and

thanks to a combination of inflation and

thanks to a combination of inflation and he's a dick and uh the war in Iran, the

he's a dick and uh the war in Iran, the

he's a dick and uh the war in Iran, the ongoing energy crisis in his own body.

ongoing energy crisis in his own body.

ongoing energy crisis in his own body. um

weekend to Donny's.

weekend to Donny's.

weekend to Donny's. But as is always the case with Donald

But as is always the case with Donald

But as is always the case with Donald Trump, his MAGA base remains unfased.

Trump, his MAGA base remains unfased.

Trump, his MAGA base remains unfased. >> Now, this week saw the formal dedication

>> Now, this week saw the formal dedication

>> Now, this week saw the formal dedication of a 22 foot gold statue of Trump at his

of a 22 foot gold statue of Trump at his

of a 22 foot gold statue of Trump at his Miami golf course by none other than

Miami golf course by none other than

Miami golf course by none other than Evangelical Pastor Mark Burns. Pastor

Evangelical Pastor Mark Burns. Pastor

Evangelical Pastor Mark Burns. Pastor Burns must have known that he might take

Burns must have known that he might take

Burns must have known that he might take some criticism for praying over a

some criticism for praying over a

some criticism for praying over a literal golden idol because he wrote on

literal golden idol because he wrote on

literal golden idol because he wrote on social media, quote, "Let me be clear,

social media, quote, "Let me be clear,

social media, quote, "Let me be clear, this is not a golden calf.

No,

it is not. But if I may say, it is a

it is not. But if I may say, it is a

it is not. But if I may say, it is a fullgrown cow."

fullgrown cow."

fullgrown cow." That is a That is a golden cow

with a gold load in its

with a gold load in its

with a gold load in its but I don't want to suggest this is

but I don't want to suggest this is

but I don't want to suggest this is actually a case of false idolatry. If it

actually a case of false idolatry. If it

actually a case of false idolatry. If it was,

was,

was, God would probably be punishing us the

God would probably be punishing us the

God would probably be punishing us the same way he did in the Bible with a

same way he did in the Bible with a

same way he did in the Bible with a plague. And I mean, that's not

plague. And I mean, that's not

plague. And I mean, that's not happening.

happening.

happening. >> Breaking tonight, the deadly outbreak of

>> Breaking tonight, the deadly outbreak of

>> Breaking tonight, the deadly outbreak of a rare rodent virus on board a cruise

a rare rodent virus on board a cruise

a rare rodent virus on board a cruise ship. The race to contain a suspected

ship. The race to contain a suspected

ship. The race to contain a suspected deadly virus outbreak. The public health

deadly virus outbreak. The public health

deadly virus outbreak. The public health threat so dangerous.

threat so dangerous.

threat so dangerous. >> Nightmare at sea.

>> Nightmare at sea.

>> Nightmare at sea. >> Cruise chaos.

>> Cruise chaos.

>> Cruise chaos. >> A cruise from hell.

What?

What?

What? What?

What?

What? Another pandemic?

Another pandemic?

Another pandemic? Are we going to have to start washing

Are we going to have to start washing

Are we going to have to start washing our hands again

our hands again

our hands again >> or freaking the out in a Target?

>> or freaking the out in a Target?

>> or freaking the out in a Target? >> Target?

>> Target?

>> Target? >> I'm not playing any more [\h__\h] games.

>> I'm not playing any more [\h__\h] games.

>> I'm not playing any more [\h__\h] games. This shit's over.

This shit's over.

This shit's over. This shit's all over. This shit's

This shit's all over. This shit's

This shit's all over. This shit's [\h__\h] over.

Good times.

Although I have to say on the plus side,

Although I have to say on the plus side,

Although I have to say on the plus side, I can't believe I still fit into my old

I can't believe I still fit into my old

I can't believe I still fit into my old hazmat suit.

hazmat suit.

hazmat suit. Hey, quick question here though. Are we

Hey, quick question here though. Are we

Hey, quick question here though. Are we all going to die?

all going to die?

all going to die? >> It's not like CO. It's not like measles.

>> It's not like CO. It's not like measles.

>> It's not like CO. It's not like measles. It's not a very efficient transmission.

It's not a very efficient transmission.

It's not a very efficient transmission. >> The overall risk to the public is low.

>> The overall risk to the public is low.

>> The overall risk to the public is low. >> You don't need to be hysterical about

>> You don't need to be hysterical about

>> You don't need to be hysterical about it.

I know we don't have to be hysterical

I know we don't have to be hysterical

I know we don't have to be hysterical about it.

about it.

about it. It's choice.

It's choice.

It's choice. But you know what? It's a relief. I'm

But you know what? It's a relief. I'm

But you know what? It's a relief. I'm glad we don't have to be hysterical

glad we don't have to be hysterical

glad we don't have to be hysterical about it. COVID was a respiratory virus.

about it. COVID was a respiratory virus.

about it. COVID was a respiratory virus. Passes easily, often when the person

Passes easily, often when the person

Passes easily, often when the person isn't symptomatic. It was a brand new

isn't symptomatic. It was a brand new

isn't symptomatic. It was a brand new virus we had ever seen before, and we

virus we had ever seen before, and we

virus we had ever seen before, and we weren't allowed to know where it came

weren't allowed to know where it came

weren't allowed to know where it came from. I mean, we didn't know.

from. I mean, we didn't know.

from. I mean, we didn't know. We were obviously allowed to know. We

We were obviously allowed to know. We

We were obviously allowed to know. We just didn't know.

just didn't know.

just didn't know. Wink.

While the haunt virus is a known virus.

While the haunt virus is a known virus.

While the haunt virus is a known virus. It's difficult to transmit. It's mostly

It's difficult to transmit. It's mostly

It's difficult to transmit. It's mostly spread by rat infestation, which does

spread by rat infestation, which does

spread by rat infestation, which does raise the question, how did a cruise

raise the question, how did a cruise

raise the question, how did a cruise ship end up

ship end up

ship end up with HANA virus on it? A husband and

with HANA virus on it? A husband and

with HANA virus on it? A husband and wife who were the first to be stricken

wife who were the first to be stricken

wife who were the first to be stricken with the so-called rat virus reportedly

with the so-called rat virus reportedly

with the so-called rat virus reportedly went bird watching at a ratinfested

went bird watching at a ratinfested

went bird watching at a ratinfested landfill when their cruise ship was

landfill when their cruise ship was

landfill when their cruise ship was docked at a remote city in Argentina.

I have some questions.

It's going to walk down the list. A.

It's going to walk down the list. A.

It's going to walk down the list. A. What cruise line

What cruise line

What cruise line offers day trip landfill excursions?

B.

B.

B. What bird watcher

wants to go to a landfill and spend the

wants to go to a landfill and spend the

wants to go to a landfill and spend the whole day going, "Uh, seagull.

whole day going, "Uh, seagull.

whole day going, "Uh, seagull. Seagull.

Seagull.

Seagull.

Seagull. Uh oh.

Uh oh.

Uh oh. Used condom.

Ceruan warbler.

Ceruan warbler.

Ceruan warbler. Uh no, that's used condom. Sorry.

Uh no, that's used condom. Sorry.

Uh no, that's used condom. Sorry. Seagull.

Seagull.

Seagull. Vulture. Seagull. Condom. Vulture

Vulture. Seagull. Condom. Vulture

Vulture. Seagull. Condom. Vulture eating. Seagull eating condom.

eating. Seagull eating condom.

eating. Seagull eating condom. That's but in in bird watching lingo

That's but in in bird watching lingo

That's but in in bird watching lingo that's known as a vulgoldum.

Lot of a lot of people serve that on the

Lot of a lot of people serve that on the

Lot of a lot of people serve that on the holidays.

holidays.

holidays. The point is some people may get pretty

The point is some people may get pretty

The point is some people may get pretty sick but forget co this ain't no

sick but forget co this ain't no

sick but forget co this ain't no pandemic. Hell this haunt virus and not

pandemic. Hell this haunt virus and not

pandemic. Hell this haunt virus and not even in monkeypox territory

even in monkeypox territory

even in monkeypox territory but I guess reality don't sell papers.

but I guess reality don't sell papers.

but I guess reality don't sell papers. So, boys, we learned that everything was

So, boys, we learned that everything was

So, boys, we learned that everything was okay on Tuesday. What are we doing

okay on Tuesday. What are we doing

okay on Tuesday. What are we doing Wednesday through Friday?

Wednesday through Friday?

Wednesday through Friday? >> The WHO has been vocal and saying this

>> The WHO has been vocal and saying this

>> The WHO has been vocal and saying this is not another pandemic or epidemic

is not another pandemic or epidemic

is not another pandemic or epidemic situation. Can they be so sure?

situation. Can they be so sure?

situation. Can they be so sure? >> Should people be worried?

>> Should people be worried?

>> Should people be worried? >> Is this another pandemic?

>> Is this another pandemic?

>> Is this another pandemic? >> Could the antivirus mutate?

>> Could the antivirus mutate?

>> Could the antivirus mutate? >> People have a right to BE NERVOUS. YOU

>> People have a right to BE NERVOUS. YOU

>> People have a right to BE NERVOUS. YOU GOT TO FIGHT

GOT TO FIGHT

GOT TO FIGHT for your right

for your right

for your right >> to be nervous.

Yes, we might have a right to be

Yes, we might have a right to be

Yes, we might have a right to be nervous, but I guess the question the

nervous, but I guess the question the

nervous, but I guess the question the news might want to ask is, do we have a

news might want to ask is, do we have a

news might want to ask is, do we have a reason? And your assignment, news,

reason? And your assignment, news,

reason? And your assignment, news, should you choose to accept it, is to

should you choose to accept it, is to

should you choose to accept it, is to help the public discern the difference.

help the public discern the difference.

help the public discern the difference. So, may we hear from the experts? Again,

So, may we hear from the experts? Again,

So, may we hear from the experts? Again, >> the potential to spread beyond an

>> the potential to spread beyond an

>> the potential to spread beyond an outbreak is very small. should be pretty

outbreak is very small. should be pretty

outbreak is very small. should be pretty limited.

limited.

limited. >> Should keep it contained.

>> Should keep it contained.

>> Should keep it contained. >> Shouldn't really have any concern at

>> Shouldn't really have any concern at

>> Shouldn't really have any concern at all. I have no no concern about that.

all. I have no no concern about that.

all. I have no no concern about that. >> I guess it's going to stick this time. I

>> I guess it's going to stick this time. I

>> I guess it's going to stick this time. I want to make the timeline clear to

want to make the timeline clear to

want to make the timeline clear to everybody.

everybody.

everybody. Sunday, we found out Hauntus had been on

Sunday, we found out Hauntus had been on

Sunday, we found out Hauntus had been on a cruise ship.

a cruise ship.

a cruise ship. Monday through Thursday, expert upon

Monday through Thursday, expert upon

Monday through Thursday, expert upon expert, scientist upon scientist very

expert, scientist upon scientist very

expert, scientist upon scientist very transparently explained why this

transparently explained why this

transparently explained why this illness, while a serious illness, is a

illness, while a serious illness, is a

illness, while a serious illness, is a lowlevel

lowlevel

lowlevel public health threat.

public health threat.

public health threat. Their words went a long way to easing

Their words went a long way to easing

Their words went a long way to easing the concerns of a curious public. And

the concerns of a curious public. And

the concerns of a curious public. And Lord knows the news can't let that

Lord knows the news can't let that

Lord knows the news can't let that happen.

happen.

happen. So on Friday, after three days of

So on Friday, after three days of

So on Friday, after three days of reinsurance, I give you Night Line.

reinsurance, I give you Night Line.

reinsurance, I give you Night Line. >> A dream vacation turning into a floating

>> A dream vacation turning into a floating

>> A dream vacation turning into a floating nightmare. Authorities now working to

nightmare. Authorities now working to

nightmare. Authorities now working to stop the spread and track down

stop the spread and track down

stop the spread and track down passengers who've already left the ship,

passengers who've already left the ship,

passengers who've already left the ship, including to the US. The looming

including to the US. The looming

including to the US. The looming question, could this become the next

question, could this become the next

question, could this become the next pandemic?

pandemic?

pandemic? >> God damn it,

>> THEY GOT ME AGAIN.

I can't breathe in there. That's Oh, I

I can't breathe in there. That's Oh, I

I can't breathe in there. That's Oh, I was panicking. THEY GOT ME AGAIN. AND BY

was panicking. THEY GOT ME AGAIN. AND BY

was panicking. THEY GOT ME AGAIN. AND BY THE WAY, did you check out the

THE WAY, did you check out the

THE WAY, did you check out the percussion on that?

Could this be the next pandemic?

The question of whether it was going to

The question of whether it was going to

The question of whether it was going to be the next pandemic had been asked and

be the next pandemic had been asked and

be the next pandemic had been asked and answered for three days. But apparently

answered for three days. But apparently

answered for three days. But apparently that was before the authorities decided

that was before the authorities decided

that was before the authorities decided not to fire a torpedo and sink the

not to fire a torpedo and sink the

not to fire a torpedo and sink the cruise ship, burying its diseased

cruise ship, burying its diseased

cruise ship, burying its diseased passengers and cruise entertainers in a

passengers and cruise entertainers in a

passengers and cruise entertainers in a watery grave befitting their disease.

watery grave befitting their disease.

watery grave befitting their disease. That's right, folks. These people from

That's right, folks. These people from

That's right, folks. These people from this ship were going to be

this ship were going to be

this ship were going to be Da da da allowed to disembark.

Da da da allowed to disembark.

Da da da allowed to disembark. >> The deadly haunt virus is no longer

>> The deadly haunt virus is no longer

>> The deadly haunt virus is no longer contained to that cruise ship. It is now

contained to that cruise ship. It is now

contained to that cruise ship. It is now literally flying around the world.

literally flying around the world.

literally flying around the world. >> Why' they let them off the boat?

>> Why' they let them off the boat?

>> Why' they let them off the boat? Releasing them off the boat just creates

Releasing them off the boat just creates

Releasing them off the boat just creates new problems.

new problems.

new problems. >> Why did they get off the boat and then

>> Why did they get off the boat and then

>> Why did they get off the boat and then come back to America?

come back to America?

come back to America? >> How long you think people on the ship

>> How long you think people on the ship

>> How long you think people on the ship should be isolated before being allowed

should be isolated before being allowed

should be isolated before being allowed to leave and then like walk among us?

Look, I don't think any of us are crazy

Look, I don't think any of us are crazy

Look, I don't think any of us are crazy about the idea of people who take

about the idea of people who take

about the idea of people who take cruises walking amongst us.

cruises walking amongst us.

cruises walking amongst us. I just don't think it's

I just don't think it's

I just don't think it's and I I I respect that.

and I I I respect that.

and I I I respect that. But they're still people.

But they're still people.

But they're still people. They're just people who wanted to travel

They're just people who wanted to travel

They're just people who wanted to travel the world on a floating shopping mall.

the world on a floating shopping mall.

the world on a floating shopping mall. They can throw their fiance off.

Look it up.

Trust me. It's got a higher body count

Trust me. It's got a higher body count

Trust me. It's got a higher body count than the haunt virus. Trust me.

Look, I could be convinced to be on team

Look, I could be convinced to be on team

Look, I could be convinced to be on team sync them all. But again, let's listen

sync them all. But again, let's listen

sync them all. But again, let's listen to the experts that the news people

to the experts that the news people

to the experts that the news people themselves have vetted to answer these

themselves have vetted to answer these

themselves have vetted to answer these questions responsibly.

questions responsibly.

questions responsibly. >> Dr. Rasmmanson, do you have any concerns

>> Dr. Rasmmanson, do you have any concerns

>> Dr. Rasmmanson, do you have any concerns about the process of the passengers

about the process of the passengers

about the process of the passengers returning to their home countries?

returning to their home countries?

returning to their home countries? >> So, I don't actually have any concerns

>> So, I don't actually have any concerns

>> So, I don't actually have any concerns about this process from a scientific

about this process from a scientific

about this process from a scientific perspective because I actually think

perspective because I actually think

perspective because I actually think that the process itself is completely

that the process itself is completely

that the process itself is completely suitable for this virus. No, suitable

suitable for this virus. No, suitable

suitable for this virus. No, suitable for the virus, but not suitable

for the virus, but not suitable

for the virus, but not suitable apparently for this news cycle. The news

apparently for this news cycle. The news

apparently for this news cycle. The news experts say stay calm, but the news

experts say stay calm, but the news

experts say stay calm, but the news media says, "Uh, no, I believe we prefer

media says, "Uh, no, I believe we prefer

media says, "Uh, no, I believe we prefer panic."

panic."

panic." >> Right now, we're in the port where the

>> Right now, we're in the port where the

>> Right now, we're in the port where the ship won't even be allowed to dock.

ship won't even be allowed to dock.

ship won't even be allowed to dock. >> You can have a look at what this looks

>> You can have a look at what this looks

>> You can have a look at what this looks like. That is the MV Honda.

like. That is the MV Honda.

like. That is the MV Honda. >> Those are the Americans finally on board

>> Those are the Americans finally on board

>> Those are the Americans finally on board that evacuation boat. You can see

that evacuation boat. You can see

that evacuation boat. You can see there's a small group of them being fed

there's a small group of them being fed

there's a small group of them being fed back and forth,

back and forth,

back and forth, >> helping ferry passengers off the ship

>> helping ferry passengers off the ship

>> helping ferry passengers off the ship and onto some smaller boats to land

and onto some smaller boats to land

and onto some smaller boats to land >> off of the ship on these little boats

>> off of the ship on these little boats

>> off of the ship on these little boats that bring them here through a tent.

that bring them here through a tent.

that bring them here through a tent. Within minutes, they are on a bus headed

Within minutes, they are on a bus headed

Within minutes, they are on a bus headed straight for the airport.

straight for the airport.

straight for the airport. >> You're looking at a portion of a a bus

>> You're looking at a portion of a a bus

>> You're looking at a portion of a a bus that looks similar to the ones that uh

that looks similar to the ones that uh

that looks similar to the ones that uh people have gotten onto.

>> You're literally showing US A BUS

>> You're literally showing US A BUS

>> You're literally showing US A BUS THEY'RE NOT ON.

THEY'RE NOT ON.

THEY'RE NOT ON. You're just cutting TO SHOWING US WHAT A

You're just cutting TO SHOWING US WHAT A

You're just cutting TO SHOWING US WHAT A BUS LOOKS LIKE.

BUS LOOKS LIKE.

BUS LOOKS LIKE. >> YES, JIM. UH, the passengers are getting

>> YES, JIM. UH, the passengers are getting

>> YES, JIM. UH, the passengers are getting on and I'm being told that the wheels on

on and I'm being told that the wheels on

on and I'm being told that the wheels on this bus go round and round

this bus go round and round

this bus go round and round and

and

and and they're about to get on a bus where

and they're about to get on a bus where

and they're about to get on a bus where the wheels go round and round. Jim, I

the wheels go round and round. Jim, I

the wheels go round and round. Jim, I see. And can you ask uh will that be all

see. And can you ask uh will that be all

see. And can you ask uh will that be all through the town? I believe it will,

through the town? I believe it will,

through the town? I believe it will, Jim.

Jim.

Jim. I believe they will be going all through

I believe they will be going all through

I believe they will be going all through the town on the bus. They

that they were treating IT LIKE THE

that they were treating IT LIKE THE

that they were treating IT LIKE THE OJ'S. IT WAS THAT'S the logistics OF HOW

OJ'S. IT WAS THAT'S the logistics OF HOW

OJ'S. IT WAS THAT'S the logistics OF HOW YOU GET FROM A BOAT TO THEING SHORE. But

YOU GET FROM A BOAT TO THEING SHORE. But

YOU GET FROM A BOAT TO THEING SHORE. But don't worry, the news media's highle

don't worry, the news media's highle

don't worry, the news media's highle technology GETS US ACCESS WE NEVER COULD

technology GETS US ACCESS WE NEVER COULD

technology GETS US ACCESS WE NEVER COULD HAVE gotten before.

HAVE gotten before.

HAVE gotten before. >> These images just coming in. Those

>> These images just coming in. Those

>> These images just coming in. Those Americans getting on buses and waving

Americans getting on buses and waving

Americans getting on buses and waving before boarding their flights. Drone

before boarding their flights. Drone

before boarding their flights. Drone video from Spanish authorities capturing

video from Spanish authorities capturing

video from Spanish authorities capturing the first passengers leaving.

the first passengers leaving.

the first passengers leaving. >> Drone video. SPECTACULAR. SUCH good use

>> Drone video. SPECTACULAR. SUCH good use

>> Drone video. SPECTACULAR. SUCH good use of drones.

of drones.

of drones. Ukraine uses theirs to defeat Russia.

Ukraine uses theirs to defeat Russia.

Ukraine uses theirs to defeat Russia. But good on you. I still have not

But good on you. I still have not

But good on you. I still have not learned enough. I mean, I know they've

learned enough. I mean, I know they've

learned enough. I mean, I know they've gone from a boat to a smaller boat to a

gone from a boat to a smaller boat to a

gone from a boat to a smaller boat to a tent to a bus, but at this point,

tent to a bus, but at this point,

tent to a bus, but at this point, I've somewhat lost the trail.

I've somewhat lost the trail.

I've somewhat lost the trail. Where will it end?

Where will it end?

Where will it end? Where will these who are supposedly to

Where will these who are supposedly to

Where will these who are supposedly to walk amongst us end up? Perhaps in a

walk amongst us end up? Perhaps in a

walk amongst us end up? Perhaps in a room.

room.

room. If so, what does the room look like? Is

If so, what does the room look like? Is

If so, what does the room look like? Is it furnished?

it furnished?

it furnished? If it has a bike, will that bike be

If it has a bike, will that bike be

If it has a bike, will that bike be stationary?

stationary?

stationary? >> Each person will have their own room

>> Each person will have their own room

>> Each person will have their own room equipped with special ventilation

equipped with special ventilation

equipped with special ventilation systems, private bathrooms, exercise

systems, private bathrooms, exercise

systems, private bathrooms, exercise equipment, and Wi-Fi.

Private bathrooms, exercise equipment,

Private bathrooms, exercise equipment,

Private bathrooms, exercise equipment, wifi.

Oh, maybe we should all get the haunt

Oh, maybe we should all get the haunt

Oh, maybe we should all get the haunt virus.

virus.

virus. It's actually not that luxurious. Only

It's actually not that luxurious. Only

It's actually not that luxurious. Only one of them will be given the password,

which I believe is lowercase hunter

which I believe is lowercase hunter

which I believe is lowercase hunter virus, but the I is a one and the S is a

virus, but the I is a one and the S is a

virus, but the I is a one and the S is a dollar bill. Yo,

dollar bill. Yo,

dollar bill. Yo, look,

look,

look, we are now eight days into this

we are now eight days into this

we are now eight days into this nonpandemic

nonpandemic

nonpandemic and it's beginning to affect our

and it's beginning to affect our

and it's beginning to affect our Mother's Day coverage. Segways, it's

Mother's Day coverage. Segways, it's

Mother's Day coverage. Segways, it's >> a very happy Mother's Day to all you

>> a very happy Mother's Day to all you

>> a very happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. This morning, that

moms out there. This morning, that

moms out there. This morning, that cruise ship hit by a deadly haunt virus.

cruise ship hit by a deadly haunt virus.

cruise ship hit by a deadly haunt virus. >> The state of our union is calling our

>> The state of our union is calling our

>> The state of our union is calling our mom. This morning, 17 Americans are

mom. This morning, 17 Americans are

mom. This morning, 17 Americans are beginning a trip back to the US.

beginning a trip back to the US.

beginning a trip back to the US. >> Happy Mother's Day to all the moms

>> Happy Mother's Day to all the moms

>> Happy Mother's Day to all the moms watching. Let's kick this off. Pandemic

watching. Let's kick this off. Pandemic

watching. Let's kick this off. Pandemic panic.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. TELL YOUR MOM YOU

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. TELL YOUR MOM YOU

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. TELL YOUR MOM YOU LOVE HER, but also keep your eyes on

LOVE HER, but also keep your eyes on

LOVE HER, but also keep your eyes on her.

her.

her. cuz you don't know if she's got it or

cuz you don't know if she's got it or

cuz you don't know if she's got it or not. And I got to tell you this, if she

not. And I got to tell you this, if she

not. And I got to tell you this, if she turns,

turns,

turns, you know what you have to do.

you know what you have to do.

you know what you have to do. NO TEARS, BOY. NO TEARS.

NO TEARS, BOY. NO TEARS.

NO TEARS, BOY. NO TEARS. She's not your mother anymore.

She's more haunter than woman.

No matter how many times the question

No matter how many times the question

No matter how many times the question can be asked and answered, it doesn'ting

can be asked and answered, it doesn'ting

can be asked and answered, it doesn'ting matter for some people and sometimes

matter for some people and sometimes

matter for some people and sometimes it's the same person.

it's the same person.

it's the same person. >> Does this have the markings of the next

>> Does this have the markings of the next

>> Does this have the markings of the next pandemic or no?

pandemic or no?

pandemic or no? >> No. Should we still not be sounding the

>> No. Should we still not be sounding the

>> No. Should we still not be sounding the alarm?

alarm?

alarm? >> I don't think we have to be very anxious

>> I don't think we have to be very anxious

>> I don't think we have to be very anxious about it.

about it.

about it. >> Should we be worried that we have an

>> Should we be worried that we have an

>> Should we be worried that we have an American here who's tested positive?

American here who's tested positive?

American here who's tested positive? >> No. It's a low risk to Americans. Or

>> No. It's a low risk to Americans. Or

>> No. It's a low risk to Americans. Or should we still not be worried by this

should we still not be worried by this

should we still not be worried by this here in America?

here in America?

here in America? >> Correct. I don't think that this poses

>> Correct. I don't think that this poses

>> Correct. I don't think that this poses any risk to the general public.

any risk to the general public.

any risk to the general public. >> Jesus lady,

>> Jesus lady,

>> Jesus lady, how badly do you just want to work FROM

how badly do you just want to work FROM

how badly do you just want to work FROM HOME?

HOME?

HOME? Just work from home. WE'RE NOT ALL GOING

Just work from home. WE'RE NOT ALL GOING

Just work from home. WE'RE NOT ALL GOING TO DIE. THAT'S a good thing.

TO DIE. THAT'S a good thing.

TO DIE. THAT'S a good thing. Just Just zoom in. Jesus.

Just Just zoom in. Jesus.

Just Just zoom in. Jesus. Although it is important to note this

Although it is important to note this

Although it is important to note this virus can cause chronic fatigue

virus can cause chronic fatigue

virus can cause chronic fatigue syndrome. mostly amongst the experts who

syndrome. mostly amongst the experts who

syndrome. mostly amongst the experts who have to repeatedly answer

have to repeatedly answer

have to repeatedly answer the same questions.

the same questions.

the same questions. >> What is your message to Americans who

>> What is your message to Americans who

>> What is your message to Americans who are still scared?

are still scared?

are still scared? >> We have been repeating the same answer

>> We have been repeating the same answer

>> We have been repeating the same answer many times.

many times.

many times. Um this is not another COVID.

Um this is not another COVID.

Um this is not another COVID. Um and the risk to the public is low.

Um and the risk to the public is low.

Um and the risk to the public is low. Uh so they shouldn't be scared and they

Uh so they shouldn't be scared and they

Uh so they shouldn't be scared and they shouldn't panic.

youing idiot.

Well, that that that certainly should

Well, that that that certainly should

Well, that that that certainly should put an end to it unless

put an end to it unless

put an end to it unless >> so they shouldn't be scared and they

>> so they shouldn't be scared and they

>> so they shouldn't be scared and they shouldn't panic

shouldn't panic

shouldn't panic >> and there is concern out there that more

>> and there is concern out there that more

>> and there is concern out there that more positive cases could pop up.

positive cases could pop up.

positive cases could pop up. So when they say you shouldn't be

So when they say you shouldn't be

So when they say you shouldn't be scared, you hear be scared,

scared, you hear be scared,

scared, you hear be scared, it's like they're all trying to

it's like they're all trying to

it's like they're all trying to recapture that pandemic ratings magic.

recapture that pandemic ratings magic.

recapture that pandemic ratings magic. Remember the old big screen body counts?

Remember the old big screen body counts?

Remember the old big screen body counts? All the ways they scared us. Well, the

All the ways they scared us. Well, the

All the ways they scared us. Well, the counts are back. Obviously not as

counts are back. Obviously not as

counts are back. Obviously not as compelling.

compelling.

compelling. >> There's one person who tested positive.

>> There's one person who tested positive.

>> There's one person who tested positive. A separate person showed symptoms, but

A separate person showed symptoms, but

A separate person showed symptoms, but we don't have a positive test result for

we don't have a positive test result for

we don't have a positive test result for that person.

One,

One,

One, ONE, ONE POSITIVE AND one

ONE, ONE POSITIVE AND one

ONE, ONE POSITIVE AND one runny nose. What?

runny nose. What?

runny nose. What? Damn, this thing is spreading like I

Damn, this thing is spreading like I

Damn, this thing is spreading like I don't know what's something that doesn't

don't know what's something that doesn't

don't know what's something that doesn't spread. Cold butter, the legs of a

spread. Cold butter, the legs of a

spread. Cold butter, the legs of a prude.

I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY.

I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY.

I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY. SO, IT'S FINE. It's not a thing. Go

SO, IT'S FINE. It's not a thing. Go

SO, IT'S FINE. It's not a thing. Go about your lives. Go on a cruise if you

about your lives. Go on a cruise if you

about your lives. Go on a cruise if you want. Meanwhile, a neuro virus outbreak

want. Meanwhile, a neuro virus outbreak

want. Meanwhile, a neuro virus outbreak on board a different cruise ship. 102

on board a different cruise ship. 102

on board a different cruise ship. 102 passengers, 13 crew members are sick on

passengers, 13 crew members are sick on

passengers, 13 crew members are sick on the Caribbean Princess.

NO.