Original subtitles

[yelling]

♪ I got ya with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco, Roman-Greco ♪

♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪

♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪

Somebody stop me!

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

Don't come a dime a dozen, I stand out of the crowd!

♪ Babe when they made me Yeah they broke the mold! ♪

Wholesome and kind, staid and refined, totally out of my mind!

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

Green goes with anything if they ask, see?

♪ Well, there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

Open up wide and really shout!

Whoa, look out!

♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪

Smokin'!

[snoring]

[whimpers]

I have returned.

It was a tough battle.

Germ warfare at its worst.

I made it.

Now to invade, infect and destroy

the jerk.

And now to trip the night fantastic.

You know where. No, where?

Where else? The Club Coco Bongo.

Somebody stop him!

I lost him! Who am I gonna contaminate now?

[whimpers]

Hello, doggy.

Come on, take a nice drink of water.

[snoring]

[knock on door]

Huh? What? [groans]

Come in.

Good morning, Stanley. Rise and shine. I got your message.

Something about a virus? Ewww, nothing catchy, I hope.

Juggling hammers again? Or did the Mask have another late night on the town?

[yawns] Knowing the mask, probably both.

And the virus, it's in my computer not me.

I tried using the darn thing yesterday, but it wouldn't work.

I can't return it to the bank like this.

It's unclean.

It's working fine now. Whatever was in there is gone.

Really? That is great.

That old bug must have infected some other poor slob, eh, Milo?

Milo. Milo?

[gasps]

[man] Amazing. A totally new viral strain.

I've never seen anything like it.

Me neither. I think.

Mr. Ipkiss, your dog will

have to remain here for further testing.

We can't risk spreading an unknown virus, can we?

[whimpers]

I know, Milo, but don't worry. Everything's gonna be OK.

- I promise. - Stanley, sidebar.

You heard the vet. This bug Milo's caught is totally out of this world.

Exactly. Does that sound like anyone we know?

The Mask!

If the Mask has made Milo sick,

then the Mask will just have to make him well again.

"Play me." I'd love to.

[harmonica plays]

Be Baywatch! Be Baywatch! Be Baywatch! Be Baywatch!

All right, you listen up, pal.

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Up to now I put up with your shenanigans.

But now Milo is sick and you had something to do with it.

Experts say we should all watch a little less television.

The batteries must be dead.

He just keeps going and going and going.

Don't touch that dial. I got one more thing to say to you.

You do something about this, buddy.

Or so help me, I will stick this mask in the Smithsonian

where no one will ever wear it again.

In the name of heaven, do it, man!

I think he means it.

[gulps]

[screams]

I can't let Stanley lock me up.

♪ I'm gonna cuss him to his face ♪

[growls]

[engine revs]

[siren wails]

There he goes. We got him this time, Doyle.

[horns honk]

My freedom is at stake. I gotta cure the dog.

I gotta stay focused.

Oh, no! Kellaway! Doyle!

Tempted by the song of the sirens.

[grunting] Urge to fight cops is great.

Must resist.

All right, Mask, pull over! You can't escape. You can't escape!

Well, since he put it that way.

How would you boys like to slip into something a little less comfortable?

- Like, oh, say, undies?! - [shouting]

[both scream]

Hang in there, boy. The Mask will be here any minute

and everything will be just fine.

[groans]

[screaming]

On the left side of the vehicle,

you will please note the majestic...

- the mighty Niagara... - Huh?

And directly ahead, Edge City Animal Clinic.

Never a spot when you need one.

No time to circle the block, though.

[screaming]

[horn honks]

You know, folks, there's nothing like a little car chase now and then.

Wow, the buildings are much taller on this side of town.

Doyle, pay attention, man.

Milo is right here. How convenient!

Looks like an inside job.

[both] Oh, no, close your mouth!

Close your mouth!

Close your mouth!

[swallows, gags]

What is it, boy? Are you choking on something?

Doctor!

No, rock it, I said. Rock it!

What are you guys doing in there?

What are you doing to that animal?

I was just checking for unsightly yellow build up.

Well, don't. We don't want a restless patient on our hands.

It'll ruin the exploratory.

Exploratory? You're gonna operate?

Just as soon as the specialists arrive.

We'll be poking and probing this animal for all he's worth.

Hello, Milo. Can I come in and play?

[gulps]

You didn't just swallow, did you?

[screaming]

Sounds like the boys are finding this a little hard to swallow.

Doyle, are you seeing this? We're inside that dog's stomach.

Wow. This is just like the Discovery Channel.

In living color, huh?

Hmm, according to this stomach chart,

I should be able to take Highway Canine south all the way to Los Pancreas.

I can't hold her, Deke!

There he is. We got him now, Doyle.

I'm a-going into the wall.

Listen, Doc, I'm sure it's nothing.

Aside from those pesky violent stomach spasms, he's just fine.

[screaming]

Sorry about that, Milo. Just injecting a little visual humor.

Those were antibodies.

Milo's immune system's first line of defense.

23, 40, 12, hut, hut, hut!

This is amazing. I think I can hear voices.

[man] Dr. Byron, the specialists have arrived.

Goody. Prepare operation room 1.

We'll be right there.

Come on, Mask.

Gangway, coming through!

[laughs]

[blows whistle] Flag on the play.

Illegal use of glands. First down.

[both gasp]

[both] It's you! How did you get in here?

I asked you first.

So you're the one who's making Milo such a sick puppy.

Well, guess what. I'm blowing the whistle on you.

[blows]

Tackle him, boys!

Come on, fellas. What happened to your team spirit?

Milo, Milo, he's our mutt. If we can't save him, kiss my butt.

[laughs]

You wasted your breath, babe.

Check out the threads.

I'm just another antibody.

Small world. I'm Auntie Modie,

the cleaning lady.

Oh, dear, I can't abide germs so if you don't mind

I'll just flush you out of Milo's system now.

[whistles]

Hey, fellas, we got a troublemaker here.

I gotta mambo. I'll see you later.

But I kind of doubt it. [laughing]

You have teased and or vexed the reclining tiger.

Now you must face the fury of his claws I tell you.

Ooh!

And now it is time to avenge my little dog

and wreak vengeance upon the Cybermite.

[sniffing]

[howling]

He's good.

[panting]

- [horse whinnies] - Sir Cybermite!

Somebody stopeth me!

I'm alive! [Laughs]

Sorry I can't hang out with youse.

But I'm off to mess with this mutt's mind.

[screaming]

What are they feeding that mutt?

Huh?

If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me.

You know, Doyle, I always thought he was kind of a drag.

Bye-bye.

Wait, you have to save us.

Why? Because I'm the hero of the show, huh?

Is that it?

Yeah, but if you let us fall, who will you give wedgies to?

I'm wearing a new pair.

Let's not make this a habit, boys.

[both sigh]

[screaming]

I got you. Or should I say, "Got youse."

So many brain cells so little time.

[drilling]

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues,

members of sensationalist news rags.

Get real.

Let's get busy.

Wow, huh? Just look at all those twinkling thoughts down there.

The brain. It really makes you think, doesn't it?

Brain, think. That's a joke, son, a knee slapper.

A funny. Come on, son, you slow?

Hey, what's happening down there?

Mm-mmm! I hear this is brain food.

Soon I'll be unstoppable.

A mutant virus. Top of the world, Ma!

[laughs]

[Mask] Freeze, Cybermite!

You're getting crumbs all over the cortex.

Hey, cut it out!

[Milo cries]

[sobbing] How dare you treat your mother this way?

That tears it. The rubber gloves are off.

[snarls]

[fighting, yelling]

[barking]

No, stop that!

Heel, boy.

Mama.

I think you'll get a real charge out of this.

Won't he, folks?

That's right. What will the Mask do?

Stay tuned until next time for the shocking conclusion.

No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't.

This end right now.

[Doyle] Mr. Virus sir.

What is it?

Doyle!

[screaming]

Why, Doyle. I never knew you cared.

Smokin'!

Is not allowed in this section, monsieur.

I'm afraid I will have to ask you to leave.

Security!

Take 'em out back and fill 'em full of holes, boys.

You know the drill.

Oh, one more thing. Full frontal wedgie!

Let me go! I will not be stopped!

You ain't seen the last of me!

He's better. He can't be better.

You had a deadly virus. It's not fair.

He had a deadly virus. An unknown strain.

My discovery. You saw it!

[all grumbling]

Don't go. We can still experiment on him.

It'll be fun.

Good boy, Milo, sweetie.

Yes, you beat the bug, didn't you?

With a little help from the Mask.

Doyle, you really saved my green eggs and ham back there, buddy.

To show you my appreciation, I'm busting you out with me, see?

And just how do you plan to do that? We're lost.

Does the phrase blow it out your ear

mean anything to you?

Here's looking at you, kids.

Nice going, Mask, wherever you are.

[screaming]

Cheap domestic submersibles. What happened to the airbags?

Whoa! Gluteus maximus.

[groans] My head.

Hey, where am I? Kellaway. Doyle.

And what is that smell? Dog breath.

It smells like Milo!

Milo, you're OK.

That's great. Oh, my gosh, I'm inside Milo.

[rumbling]

Oh, no, I can't big in here.

It'll blow Milo's mind.

You better fasten your seatbelts, boys.

It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

That was a close call, boy.

I wonder if the Mask got out OK.

OK, there's daylight. We're home free.

[coughing]

What's the matter, Milo? You're not having a relapse, are you?

[sneezes]

Stanley, is that you?

Hey, how you doing, Milo? How you feeling, boy?

Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?

Stanley, look behind you.

Don't worry about the car, Peg. Just a little bit of nose goo.

It's gonna wash right off. That's gonna stain.

Ipkiss, you're mine this time. I'm running you in.

You got a ton of explaining to do.

Lieutenant, we don't have a car to run him in in.

Remember, the nose goo and everything?

Gee, Kellaway,

let me get this straight. You lost a whole car?

I'd say he's the one with a ton of explaining to do to his boss.

[growls]

[laughs] Let's go home, Milo.

You should get yourself one of these coffee cup holder deals like mine.

Doyle, don't talk to me.

I wanna be ready when that green menace shows his face again.

- [horn honks] - Thank you.

Thank you, boys in blue, for giving me another day

to enjoy the true joys of life.

Really? Like what?

I don't know. Lots of things.

But I'll be brief.

Somebody stop me!

After the perp, Doyle, come on!

Doyle, I can't see anything. Will you get out of my way, you idiot?!

[shouting]

[theme music playing]