Original subtitles

[yelling]

♪ I got ya with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco, Roman-Greco ♪

♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪

♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪

Somebody stop me!

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

Don't come a dime a dozen, I stand out of the crowd!

♪ Babe when they made me Yeah they broke the mold! ♪

Wholesome and kind, staid and refined, totally out of my mind!

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

Green goes with anything if they ask, see?

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

Open up wide and really shout!

Whoa, look out!

♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪

Smokin'!

[Kellaway] Sunrise.

That green clown's been in there a long time.

- [snoring] - He's gotta come out some time

and when he does, we'll pinch him hard.

Wow. Davida Steelmine's my favorite magician in the whole world.

Do you like magic, Lieutenant?

You mean smoke and mirrors?

Sure, Doyle. Almost as much as I like stepping on a rusty nail.

Oh, goody-goody. Bet you didn't know I was an amateur magician.

Watch... I'll pull this egg...

out of your ear.

OK, give me a magic word.

How about, you annoy me.

Excellent. That's a good one.

You annoy me...

- [grunts] - Hello?

Mr. Egg?

Smokin'!

Between us magicians, wrong ear.

The Mask! [grunting]

[Mask] Got it!

[grunting] It's a big 'un!

[chuckles] Congratulations, Lieutenant.

[Mask] It's a boy!

Whoa. He's good.

Observe. Nothin' up my sleeves.

Presto!

[growling]

Oh... looks like you're primed for one grade-A wedgie!

[grunting]

You know, I don't see any smoke and mirrors, Lieutenant.

[grunting] Doyle... Somebody stop me!

[squawks]

Well, big plans tonight, Stan?

[chuckles] You betcha! I got a backstage pass to see Davida Steelmine.

Oh, Charlie, I have waited 10 years for this.

Hm. I didn't think they sold tickets that far in advance.

That's not what I mean.

She's from here you know, Charlie.

Oh, yeah. I went to high school with her.

[chuckles] Her name then was Vicky Pratt.

Charlie, she was the class valedictorian,

the head cheerleader, and homecoming queen.

Oh, man. I had the biggest crush on her.

Of course, I could never work up the nerve to speak to her.

That's a very touching story, Stanley.

Yeah, thank you.

I wonder if she'll remember me?

Most likely not, so I'll save you the heartache.

I need you to do the annual audit by tomorrow morning.

Tomor... but you're the bank manager. That's your job.

I'm... delegating.

Oh, and Stanley, can I borrow your tux?

I want to make a good impression when I meet...

[sighing] Davida.

Charlie!

[radio host] It's the biggest turnout

we've ever seen at the Coco Bongo

for the sole appearance of our own Davida Steelmine!

Oh, why do I feel like Cinderella without the Fairy Godmother?

A robbery?

- [growling] - Ow!

That was unusual.

Uh, the vault?

Hey, I got news for you, buddy.

You are being watched by surveillance cameras!

Uh-huh. Yep, that's right.

[screams] Aliens!

Oh, OK, OK. I'll open it.

There's only one thing to do...

I gotta get the mask!

[Doyle] Um, Lieutenant, your pants...

Doyle, I know.[breaks squealing]

Ipkiss looks like he's in a big hurry tonight.

[panting, gasps]

[grunts] Not now, Milo!

[barks]

The bank is being robbed by alien beings beyond Stanley's control!

This is a job for...

Supercalifragilistic- yabbadabba-uber-Mask!

But first...

I've got a backstage date with a really cute conjurer.

[growling]

[growling]

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Fairy Dogmother!

[whines]

Wow. How'd he do that?

Hand over that wand.

I'll get you... Mask.

To the Coco Bongo!

[horses neighing]

[audience cheering]

[whistles]

Ahoooga!

Sm-Sm-Smoke... Smokin'.

She's a babe.

My next illusion will require a volunteer from the audience.

Me! Me! Me! Pick me! Me! Me!

Uh... step right up.

I would do anything for you. Anything!

Let us always be together.

Please, step inside the box.

I will now saw the subject in two.

[screams] What are you doing?

It hurts! It hurts! [screaming]

[applause]

[cheering]

[gasps]

My legs. My legs!

I can't feel my legs!

I'm only half the man I was before I met you.

[audience cheers]

Say, sugar, let's you and me disappear after the show and

make some real magic, huh?

Dream on.

Hey! How'd she do that?

[humming]

The Mask? What are you doing here?

Hey... is that a backstage pass?

You can take that to the bank!

Eegads! That reminds me...

Surrender, alien bottom feeders!

Super Mask is here!

Oh, Stanley is going to hate me in the morning.

[Kellaway] You sure were in a big hurry last night

about the time the bank was robbed, Ipkiss.

[stammering] Well, I was rushing home to get help.

From who, your dog? Ever think of calling the cops?

Well, yeah, I tried, but the phone melted,

and I tried to press the alarm, but it bit me.

Oh, and then these aliens threatened me with death rays,

and blasted the surveillance cameras.

You mean those cameras?

Yeah... [gasps]

We viewed the surveillance tapes.

Just you, opening the vault.

Not an alien in sight.

Oh, it was aliens.

[Charlie] I'm putting you on mental leave, Stanley.

- Unpaid, of course. - Yeah, I understand.

And don't try to leave town.

The Mask has something to do with this,

and Ipkiss is going to lead us right to him.

My boss thinks I'm crazy,

and the cops think I'm a criminal.

But worst of all, I never got to see Vicky again.

[thunder rumbling]

[whistles] Wow.

That's some egg. [Gasps]

Uh, Vicky?

Vicky Pratt?

Uh... I'm... [clears throat]

I'm not sure if you'd remember me.

Stanley? Stanley Ipkiss?

[stammering] Yeah.

Remember you?

I can't believe we're actually talking!

Would you believe I could never work up

the nerve to speak to you back in high school?

[laughing] Don't be... Really?

Well, Vicky, tell me more?

[alarm ringing]

Don't touch the artwork.

Ow. I'm sorry.

[sighs] Beautiful piece, isn't it?

It completely blows my mind.

Stanley, I was going to leave on the next train,

but since you've missed my act,

I'm going to do an encore show tonight just for you.

This makes you my special guest at tonight's performance.

And maybe we could go out after?

[groans]

[humming]

[gasps]

The aliens at the museum! Oh, not again, not now.

OK, think, think, think.

If I run home and get the mask,

I can clear my name... and miss the show.

Or, I can see the show and let the museum be robbed.

Or, if I hurry, maybe I can do both.

[high-pitched humming]

Greetings, alien visitors.

I come in peace.

[yelps]

[grunts]

Since you choose not to give peace a chance,

prepare to be incinerated,

unfriendly intergalactic types.

Space entities... not so fast!

Holy, unsolved mysteries...

They're ghosts and they're aliens!

[grunts]

You didn't see that.

[stammering] Stanley, aren't you supposed to be at the show?

I'm seeing quite a show right here.

So, you robbed the bank last night, huh, Davida?

But how can you be in two places at the same time?

I'm an illusionist, Stanley.

[cheering]

And it's merely my illusion on stage at the Coco Bongo.

Giving me the perfect alibi.

The alien intruders are just a diversion,

but illusions can't carry their weight in gold

or jeweled eggs, for that matter.

So, you stayed in town to steal the egg, not to see me.

I came here today to find the egg.

But then I found you.

Do you think I would give away all my secrets

if I didn't like you, Stanley?

Magicians never give away their secrets...

Oh no, oh no.

I want to be with Vicky Pratt,

not Davida Steelmine.

I'm sorry to hear that, Stanley.

If you change your mind, meet me at the train station by midnight.

Vicky Pratt is just an illusion

and Davida Steelmine is a criminal.

Not you again. What are you anyway?

I am outraged. Outraged! How could you?

What can I say? I like jewels.

No, I mean, why settle for Stanley when you can have me?

Don't be the fool. I am the only man for you.

There is no use resisting my charms.

You know you cannot fight it.

Yes.

Mm...

Fooled ya.

Hi. We can double date.

Don't think so.

[laughing] You are so... how you say,

tresprovocative.

Bon voyage, Casanova. I've got a train to catch.

Oh, yeah. She digs me.

[struggling]

I know there's a trick to this.

OK. So, Houdini I'm not.

[engine nearing]

I knew you really loved me!

Oh. It's you.

What happened? Your pal, Ipkiss, double cross you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. G-Man Can we please hurry this up?

At midnight I turn into a pumpkin!

Start talking, Mask. I'm itching to book you.

I'll tell you anything if you show me how to get out of this thing!

That's easy.

There's always a weak link. See?

Wedgie! [Cackles]

[muffled speech]

- [Mask] Davida! - Stanley?

Give it up, sister.

I'm not the jealous type!

How do I get rid of you?

I just cannot take my eye off you!

[grunting]

Aah!

It would seem the hand is quicker than the eye.

[panting]

[grunting]

Hey! Davida Steelmine, right?

Loved your show.

Looked for you backstage.

Hola. Need a lift?

[whistles]

Hey! Whoa!

Ow! Ah!

She will learn to love me.

[snoring]

[Charlie yelling]

[continues shouting]

What was that?

That was Davida Steelmine riding a flying bank manager.

- Neat, huh? - There's our perp.

- [yelling] - Heads up!

[shouting]

Will you get lost?

[gasps]

[screaming]

[Charlie screaming]

I got ya! I knew you'd fall for me sooner or later.

[groans]

But I...

Boy, you really can't take a hint, can you?

What are you...

Does this mean you really do like Stanley more than me?

[gasps] You figured it out.

You're a genius.

I know. Well, in that case,

I might as well put a stop to your criminal kind.

Proceed at your own risk.

I do more than just illusions.

[gasps]

Put that in your hat and smoke it.

Well, well, well, Lieutenant.

Guess what? You're just in time to meet the real culprit!

Davida Steelmine.

Good, Doyle. Looks like she's packing the jewelry from the bank

and the egg from the museum.

What makes you think this will hold me?

Hm. I guess because I removed the weak link.

[groaning] No fair.

Hear that, Lieutenant? Me and the Mask.

We could be one top notch magician act.

Doyle. Drop it.

Um... Ms. Steelmine, I'm a big fan. You know, of yours.

Could you give me any tips on how to do the egg trick?

Oh, I'm sorry... Oh, Lieutenant...

[growls] Huh?

Abracadabra.

[laughing] Suckers.

Ooh... She's a tricky one.

Smokin'!