Original subtitles

♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪

♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪

♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪

♪ I'M NOUVEAU, DECO, ROMAN-GRECO, ROCOCO, BARROCO ♪

♪ BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP, SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪

♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES LIKE MINE ♪

♪ DON'T COME A DIME A DOZEN ♪

♪ I STAND OUT OF THE CROWD ♪

♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME, YEAH, THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪

♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND, STAID AND REFINED ♪

♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪

♪ ARCH-VILLAINS AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪

♪ HAD BETTER LEARN TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪

♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪

♪ WELL, THERE'S ONE LAST THING I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪

♪ OPEN UP WIDE AND REALLY SHOUT ♪

♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪

♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪

SMOKIN'!

AHA, BREE-HEE-HEE!

ABOOM-CHICKA, BOOM-CHICKA,

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

WOO!

AND WHAT A PARTAY IT WAS!

HEY!

♪

YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE, PAL.

♪

WHAT A WUSS.

SPEAKIN' OF WUSSES, TIME FOR MY MAN'S BEDDY-BYE.

♪

OH, MAN, AM I BUSHED.

I, I NEED SOME SLEEP.

♪

IT'S A GOOD THING IT'S THE WEEKEND.

I DON'T HAVE TO BE UP UNTIL NOON.

♪

WHAT WAS THAT?

STANLEY, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE ALWAYS PROMISED YOU'D BABYSIT

BABY FOR ME WHENEVER I NEED YOU TO,

AND HOW I'VE NEVER TAKEN YOU UP ON IT?

I HAVE?

YOU HA..., YOU HAVEN'T WHAT?

WELL, HARDLY EVER, BUT NOW I'M DESPERATE.

I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE

OF THE LITTLE DARLIN' FOR ME.

I'M GOING TO ACAPULCO

FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND TO CELEBRATE

WITH MY DARLIN' HUBBY, CLEM.

HE'S JUST BECOME MR. INTERNATIONAL BOWLER.

♪

THE WHOLE WEEKEND?

OH MY, LOOK AT THE TIME!

OH, I'D LOVE TO CHITCHAT, BUT I'M LATE

FOR MY PLANE!

OH, BABY, YOU BEHAVE FOR STANLEY NOW.

OH, WHAT A GOOD BOY YOU ARE, STANLEY.

REMEMBER, PUREED BANANAS ARE IN,

SPINACH IS OUT, BATH TIME'S AT SIX,

NO TV PAST SEVEN, AND LIGHTS OUT BY EIGHT,

AND NO CARTOONS!

OH, I NEARLY FORGOT.

I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF OUR PET BIRDY, SNAPPER, TOO.

YOU'RE A GEM, STANLEY, SEE YA MONDAY!

♪

SLOBBERY, OH.

PAIN IS THE ENEMY.

I MUST LEARN TO CONQUER IT.

ONCE I HAVE DONE THAT, NO FORCE OF NATURE,

NO WEAPONS SYSTEM SHALL BE ABLE TO PREVENT

MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST OF THE WORLD.

♪

MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT SHOULD EASILY ALLOW ME

TO WITHSTAND THE PAIN I'M ABOUT TO INFLICT

UPON MY BODY.

HUH?

♪

USELESS!

THE PAIN STILL SEEPS THROUGH!

♪

THE ONLY ONE WHO APPARENTLY SUFFERS

NO PAIN AT ALL IS THAT PATHETIC MASK!

I MUST HAVE HIM TO STUDY!

BUT BOSS, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE

TO CATCH THE MASK.

THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO EXPERIENCE SOME PAIN

YOURSELF, HMM?

NO, NO.

THAT'S OKAY.

OH, BUT I SUPPOSE YOU DO HAVE A POINT.

PERHAPS I'VE BEEN TOO SUBTLE

IN MY APPROACH.

YES!

I SHALL UNLEASH THE CITY'S

UNDERWORLD RABBLE UPON THAT GREEN-FACED BOOR!

SPREAD THE WORD THROUGHOUT

THE CRIMINAL GRAPEVINE!

LET EVERY LOWLIFE HOOD KNOW

THAT I'M OFFERING...

A MILLION DOLLAR REWARD?

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID, ALL RIGHT,

AND ALL WE GOTTA DO IS CATCH THE MASK.

♪

I'M SO SLEEPY.

NO, I GOTTA STAY AWAKE!

I CAN'T... I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP.

♪

OH, BIRDY.

BIRDY.

♪

BIRDY.

CHECK'S IN THE MAIL, MRS. PEEN-!

HUH, BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?

♪

BABY?

THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK!

THIS IS NOT FUNNY NOW, BABY!

BABY, OH, I HOPE YOU DIDN'T GO...

BABY, OH MY GOSH!

FEAR NOT, LITTLE ONE!

LIFEGUARD MASK WILL RESCUE YOU!

♪

HMM?

BUT FIRST, SPA BREAK!

SOAKIN'!

BIRDY!

HEY, LET'S TRY AND KEEP THE NOISE LEVEL...

YOU LITTLE TWUCK, I COULD STOP YOU

WITH MY BABY FINGA.

NOW GO UPSTAIRS, FIX YOURSELF A BABA,

AND TUCK YOURSELF IN.

YOU JUST CAN'T BABY THESE KIDS.

HEY!

♪

THAT WAS EASY!

YEAH, LIKE TAKIN' CORN DOGS FROM A BABY.

THE REWARD'S AS GOOD AS OURS.

DID SOMEBODY SAY, "REWARD"

FOR POOR LITTLE MOI?

HEY!

H-H-HOW DID HE DO DAT?

OH, THAT WAS NOTHING!

WAIT'LL YOU SEE THIS.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUN?

EJECTOR SEAT!

UH, THIS CAR DON'T HAVE NO EJECTOR SEAT.

IT DOES NOW.

♪

MY NAME'S MASK.

THE MASK.

♪

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO STOP HIM!

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE RELIED

ON THESE BUNGLING LOCAL IDIOTS!

OF COURSE!

WHY SEND AMATEURS

WHEN YOU CAN HAVE THE REAL THING?

LET'S SEE NOW...

SAFE CRACKERS, PICKPOCKETS,

LAWYERS, KIDNAPPERS, AH!

BOUNTY HUNTERS.

THE MASK IS AS GOOD AS CAPTURED.

♪

NOTHING LIKE A RELAXING DRIVE

THROUGH RUSH HOUR.

♪

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL AN UGLY BABY.

BABY?

BIRDY, BIRDY!

BIRDY!

♪

HMM?

♪

BIRDY, BIRDY!

♪

THIS OUGHT TO BE A BLAST.

♪

SMOKIN'!

LITTLE BIRDY!

BIRDY!

♪

OOPSY.

♪

WHOEVER SAID YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO THIN,

NEVER TRIED THAT!

NOW WHERE DID HE GO?

AH, TEX CLOBBER AND BAXTER SIMON.

THE TWO BEST BOUNTY HUNTERS MONEY CAN BUY.

CORRECTION.

I'M THE BEST, PERIOD.

HUH?

VOILA.

STATE OF THE ART TRAPPING EQUIPMENT

EMPLOYING THE LATEST IN COMPUTER AND LASER

TECHNOLOGY.

THAT AIN'T CAT PUKE.

THESE BABIES'LL HANDLE ANYBODY,

AND I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' BATTERIES.

CLOBBER, YOU ARE THE VERY DEFINITION

OF PURE GUTTER TRASH.

AND PROUD OF IT, PRETTY BOY.

YOU WANNA TRY ME?

MY FIFTY DOLLAR MANICURE ISN'T WORTH RUINING

OVER THE LIKES OF YOU.

WHAT?

WHY, YOU, I... GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.

I SUGGEST YOU SAVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM

FOR THE MASK.

NOW, GET OUT THERE AND BRING HIM TO ME.

HOW MANY PLACES CAN A BABY HIDE?

NOT HERE.

NOT HERE EITHER.

TAKE A LOAF ON RYE.

NEEDS MUSTARD!

GOTCHA!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOUGH.

I'VE TRAPPED LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS

THAT PUT UP A BIGGER FIGHT.

BUNNIES, HUH?

YOU DON'T SAY?

WHAT THE?

WEDGIE FOR A WEENIE!

GROSS, NO UNDIES.

PTOOEY!

COME BACK HERE!

BABY, NO BABY, WHEREFORE ART THOU, BABY?

PERHAPS YOU WERE ABLE TO OUTWIT

THAT DIMWIT, TEX CLOBBER, BUT YOU'RE DEALING

WITH BAXTER SIMON NOW.

SAY, MISTER.

THAT'S SOME REMOTE YOU GOT THERE,

BUT CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

WHAT DOES IT DO?

WORKS MY TV.

ISN'T THAT LOVELY.

WELL, WHERE YOU'RE GOING THERE ISN'T ANY...

♪

SLIPPERY LITTLE FELLA, AIN'T YA?

NOT REALLY, BUT THESE ELECTRIC EELS ARE.

HEY, GUESS WHAT GUYS?

THE BALL GAME'S ON!

♪

HMM, RECEPTION'S A LITTLE FUZZY,

BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT WITHOUT CABLE?

SEE YOU AT HALFTIME, BOYS!

♪

BIRDY!

♪

AH, YES.

THERE'S THE TRUCK THAT TOOK THE LITTLE NIPPER.

♪

HE'S MINE, TEX!

HOGWASH!

I SAW HIM FIRST!

I AM, LIKE, SO POPULAR!

I KNOW THIS DRILL!

- GOTCHA! - YOU'RE FINISHED!

OH!

LITTLE BIRDY!

BIRDY!

♪

ME, MASK!

MASK, FRIEND!

♪

SO, UM, WHICH WAY TO THE MONKEY HOUSE?

♪

HA, WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

CAMOUFLAGE?

VERY CLEVER, BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH

TO FOOL ME.

YOU, MY FRIEND, HAVE JUST MADE ME

A VERY WEALTHY MAN.

WAIT, YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE!

♪

BIRDY!

GOTCHA NOW, YOU GREEN VARMINT!

BIRDY!

YOU'RE A CRAFTY ONE, AIN'T YA?

ALWAYS CHANGIN' SHAPE!

WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO TURN INTO

A MILLION BUCKS FOR ME!

BIRDIES!

I GOT YOUR PRECIOUS MASK

RIGHT HERE, PRETORIUS.

PAY UP.

THIS IS THE MASK?

HMM.

LET'S JUST SEE, SHALL WE?

THIS IS QUITE A PRANK, BAXTER.

OH, GOOD ONE.

A HAHA ON ME.

- BUT THAT ISN'T... - PRECISELY!

HE IS USELESS!

NO MASK, NO REWARD!

DON'T WORRY.

BAXTER SIMON ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN.

I'll BRING HIM IN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

ANOTHER SCREW UP LIKE THIS,

IT MAY VERY WELL BE!

SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MR. IPKISS.

BIRDIES!

OUT OF MY WAY, TEX!

HE'S MINE!

♪

N-NICE KITTY!

S-STEADY AS SHE GOES!

THERE'S A GOOD FELLOW!

♪

LOOK AT HIM.

HE'S TOYING WITH US.

GAGA, GOO GOO, EE-GAGA.

BAXTER DIDN'T REALIZE HOW CLOSE HE CAME

TO ACTUALLY CAPTURING THE MASK,

EH, MR. IPKISS?

BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE,

YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL

BY HELPING ME IN MY STUDY

OF PAIN MANAGEMENT, OR IN THE NAME

OF EMPIRICAL SCIENCE, OF COURSE.

OW, WAIT, WAIT!

THIS CHAIR HURTS!

DON'T I EVEN GET A CUSHION OR SOMETHING?

YOU FIND THE CHAIR PAINFUL?

YES!

AND THAT NOISE YOUR MACHINE

IS MAKING, IT'S...

IT'S LIKE HAVING A MILLION HOT NEEDLES

STICKIN' IN MY HEAD.

HMM, WITHOUT THE MASK, YOU ARE UNABLE

TO WITHSTAND ANY PAIN AT ALL.

THEREFORE, YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME.

MY POINT EXACTLY.

YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN USELESS DETRITUS,

TO BE DISCARDED LIKE SO MUCH RUBBISH.

YEAH. OH.

YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

GOODBYE, MR. IPKISS.

♪

BIRDIES!

♪

HE'S GOOD!

BEST I EVER SEEN.

MAYBE SO, BUT I'M NOT

THROUGH WITH HIM YET.

BIRDIES!

THAT LITTLE WORM IS HEADED OUT TO SEA!

♪

WHY YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN'!

OUTTA MY WAY!

♪

WHAT ARE YOU... GET, GET OUTTA HERE!

SHOO, SHOO!

BABY, IT'S YOU!

AND YOU'RE WEARING THE MASK.

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

- BIRDY! - BIRDY?

OH, YOU WANT THE BIRDY?

COME ON.

OKAY, C-COME AND GET IT.

BIRDY.

OKAY, COME ON.

GIVE THE MASK TO UNCLE STANLEY!

BIRDY!

B-BIRDY!

ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE YA?

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUN AND GAMES!

HE'S GONE.

THE ONLY ONE HERE IS THIS RUGRAT.

HE OUGHTA BE GOOD FOR SOME KIND OF RANSOM.

LOOK, TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

IT'S YOU WHO'S ABOUT TO BE TAKEN OUT, CHUM.

IT'S WHAT YOU CALL MY, UH, YOU KNOW,

MAGNETIC PERSONALITY.

HMM, IS IT MY IMAGINATION, OR DOES SOMETHING REALLY

STINK AROUND HERE?

A LITTLE AIR FRESHENER OUGHTA DO THE TRICK.

♪

OKAY, FELLAS!

WATCH THE... BIRDY!

THEM'S THE ME..., MEANEST BOUNTY HUNTERS

I EVER DID SEE!

AT LAST, WE ACTUALLY AGREE ON SOMETHING!

♪

OH, FUNNY BIRDY.

♪