Original subtitles

♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY WINNING SMILE ♪

♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪

♪ JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE AT MY SAVIOR-FAIRE ♪

♪ I'M NOUVEAU, DECO, ROMAN-GRECO, ROCOCO, BARROCO ♪

♪ BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪

♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES LIKE MINE ♪

♪ DON'T COME A DIME A DOZEN, I STAND OUT OF THE CROWD ♪

♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME, YEAH, THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪

♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND, STAID AND REFINED ♪

♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MIND ♪

♪ ARCH-BILLIANS AND NE-ER-DO-WELLS ♪

♪ HAD BETTER LEARN TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪

♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪

♪ WELL THERE'S ONE LAST THING I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪

♪ OPEN UP WIDE AND REALLY SHOUT ♪

♪ OHHH, LOOK OUT ♪

♪ THIS IS "THE MASK" ♪

♪ S-S-S-S-MOKIN' ♪♪

♪

I HEAR YOUR MONKEY TALKS.

THE MONKEY DOES NOT TALK.

WELL!

I LOVE THIS PART!

BETTER GET YOUR FILL.

TONIGHT'S THE VERY END.

OF THE MARATHON?

OF THE MOVIES!

THEY AIN'T MAKING 'EM NO MORE,

NOW THAT SIR ANDREW BEDWETTER'S DOING A MAD MONKEY MUSICAL.

THEY'RE MAKING MAD MONKEY INTO A MUSICAL?

AHHH!

ALL RIGHT, ONCE MORE FROM THE TOP,

AND THIS TIME, TRY NOT TO BLOCK THE MONKEY!

I HEAR YOUR MONKEY TALKS.

THE MONKEY DOES NOT TALK.

WHY, HE SINGS!

♪ I WAS A MAD, MAD MONKEY ♪

♪ WHO USED TO SWING FROM TREE TO TREE ♪

♪ BUT NOW I SING IN BROADWAY MUSICALS ♪

♪ AND LIGHT UP THE MARQUE ♪

♪ THEY USED TO CALL ME BAD GUY ♪

♪ I'D MAKE THEM WRITHE IN AGONY ♪

♪ BUT THEN I LEARNED TO SING AND DANCE ♪

♪ NOW I'M ONE HAPPY CHIMPANZEE ♪

STOP THE MADNESS!

NOW LETS US GET ONE THING STRAIGHT, HOMBRE.

MAD MONKEY DON'T SING.

MAD MONKEY DON'T DANCE.

MAD MONKEY DO THIS!

♪

ANY QUESTIONS?

GEORGE, IRA!

EJECT THIS VIRIDIAN VANDAL AT ONCE!

♪

HUH?

IF YOU'RE VERY GOOD,

I'll SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THAT SOMETIME.

SIR, YOU HAVE INSULTED MY MAD MONKEY!

SHALL WE SAY PISTOLS AT DAWN?

HMMM, THEN HOW 'BOUT WEDGIES AT NOON?

IT LOOKS LIKE HE GOT AWAY, MR. BEDWETTER.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE, CLEAN UP THIS MESS!

♪

AND GET ME A BIGGER MONKEY!

♪

LOOK AT THESE REPAIR BILLS!

MEXICAN BAR SETS, LIGHTS OF BROADWAY SETS,

FLASHING MARQUEES, AND THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING.

SIR ANDREW BEDWETTER HAS DEFAULTED ON HIS LOAN.

THAT MEANS THIS BANK IS NOW THE LEGAL OWNER

OF MAD MONKEY, THE MUSICAL.

AND THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.

ME?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BRING THE BUDGET UNDER CONTROL.

I'M SURE MR. BEDWETTER'S A REASONABLE MAN.

♪

SO, UM, IF IF IF WE COULD CUT THE SHOW

DOWN TO, UH, EIGHT ACTORS,

TWELVE BACKDROPS, UM, TWENTY-FIVE PROPS,

AND TWENTY-EIGHT COSTUMES, UM...

WELL THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE, MR. IPKISS.

IT DOES, OH, OH, WELL.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW THAT MEANS GETTING RID

OF THE EXTRA LARGE MONKEY SUIT, THE GIANT SKATING GRIZZLY BEAR,

OH, AND THE ARMORED TANK BRIGADE.

BUT FRANKLY, I THINK THAT'S DOABLE.

WHY YOU LITTLE...

WHY, YOU JUST GAVE ME A MARVELOUS IDEA!

I... I DID?

WHY IF WE CAN DOUBLE UP ON JOBS, WE CAN SAVE MORE MONEY!

OH, YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR THE ROMANTIC LEAD!

REALLY?

YES, HERE'S A SCRIPT, WHY DON'T YOU USE MY OFFICE

AND READ IT OVER, EH?

WELL, OKAY, SURE!

♪

UH, THIS IS BOB, THE WORLD'S TALLEST MAN.

NO, GET ME A BIGGER TALLEST MAN!

♪

YEAH, CHARLIE, SIR ANDREW SAYS I DEFINITELY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.

OF COURSE, THEY FOUND SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE LEAD, YOU KNOW.

STANLEY, I'VE BEEN GOING OVER SOME OF THESE NEW BILLS.

DANCING MERMAIDS, A FULL-SCALE REPLICA OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE,

AND WORST OF ALL,

A FIFTEEN-FOOT, FULLY OPERATIONAL DANCING,

SINGING, REMOTE CONTROLLED, ANIMATRONIC MONKEY!

SOUNDS EXPENSIVE.

THE SHOW OPENS TOMORROW.

IF IT FLOPS, YOU'RE FIRED!

I COULD BE FIRED... TOMORROW?

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT, WHAT WAS I THINKING?

YOU'RE FIRED NOW!

IF THE SHOW DOESN'T FLOP, WE'LL REHIRE YOU!

HOW'S THAT?

GREAT.

♪

I'M HERE AT THE MOST ANTICIPATED THEATRICAL DEBUT OF THE YEAR,

MAD MONKEY, THE MUSICAL.

OH, I'll JUST... OKAY...

OH MILO, MILO, THE TICKETS, GET THE TICKETS.

♪

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL REPORT.

I'M HERE AT FIRST FEDERAL BANK,

WHERE A TENSE STANDOFF IS UNDERWAY.

FOR WEEKS, A PAIR OF NOTORIOUS BANK ROBBERS

HAVE BEEN ELUDING AUTHORITIES,

BLOWING UP JUST ABOUT EVERY BANK IN TOWN.

NOW THE POLICE HAVE THEM CORNERED INSIDE FIRST FEDERAL.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT IS UNCERTAIN.

BUT ONE THING IS SURE... ♪

I KNOW IT'S NOT MY BANK, MILO.

BUT SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO SOMETHING.

♪

NOW TO TAKE A BITE OUTTA CRIME!

BUT FIRST...

I GOTTA SEE A MAN ABOUT A MAD MONKEY!

♪ I WAS, IT'S TRUE, A MAD MONKEY ♪

♪ I USED TO THRASH AROUND DEMENTEDLY ♪

♪ BUT NOW I SING MOST EVERY PLACE ♪

♪ FROM RAGING BATTLEFIELDS ♪

♪ TO OUTER SPACE ♪

♪ HE WAS, IT'S TRUE, A MAD MONKEY ♪

♪ HE USED TO THRASH AROUND DEMENTEDLY ♪

HEY, LOOK!

♪ BUT NOW HE SINGS MOST EVERY PLACE ♪

IT WOULD'VE BEEN A REALLY BIG CHANDELIER,

BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE IT IN THE BUDGET.

♪

OHHH!

♪

MAKE PEACE, NOT WAR.

MAKE PEAS, NOT WARTS.

♪

ISN'T THIS GREAT, CHARLIE?

CHARLIE?

GET THAT MASK!

♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ♪

♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ♪

YOU CALL THAT A CAN-CAN?

NOW THAT'S A CAN-CAN.

♪ I LIKE TO DANCE AND I LIKE TO SING ♪

♪ BASHING AND SMASHING USED TO BE MY THING ♪

♪ SONG AND DANCE IS RARE AND REFINED ♪

♪ BASHING AND SMASHING'S DIVINE ♪

UGH, IRONICALLY, THIS IS MUCH MORE LIKE THE MAD MONKEY

I KNOW AND LOVE.

♪ EACH ONE JUST BY ITSELF ♪

♪ IS TRULY FINE ♪

♪ BUT THEY'RE MORE FUN COMBINED ♪

BANANA?

♪

HEY, DON'T KNOCK THE CLASSICS!

♪

UM, IT TIMES LIKE THESE I WISH WE HAD A SMALLER MONKEY.

♪

SO, DID YOU START THE PARTY WITHOUT ME?

WELL, THAT'LL TEACH MOI TO ARRIVE FASHIONABLY LATE.

CONVENIENTLY LATE MORE LIKE IT.

THE ROBBERS GOT AWAY AND NOW YOU'RE HERE.

AS LONG AS I'M HERE, MIGHT AS WELL DO SOME GOOD.

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR... SUPER WEDGIE!

WHOA, LOOK OUT!

♪

- OH! - UGH!

♪

ALL RIGHT, I'll COME BY.

I'M COMING.

STANLEY, OPEN UP, IT'S PEGGY!

♪

OH!

MASK MAKES MONKEY OUT OF MUSICAL!

EXCLUSIVE BY PEGGY BRANT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

BROUGHT THAT LAME 'OL STORY ABOUT FIRST FEDERAL BLOWING UP

STRAIGHT TO PAGE TWO.

THE MASK DIDN'T SAVE FIRST FEDERAL

AND HE RUINED MAD MONKEY?

YEP, GOOD NEWS DAY!

GOOD NEWS?

MAD MONKEY'S GONNA CLOSE, TAKING MY JOB WITH IT!

OH, I HATE THIS MASK!

♪

YOU SURE YOU WANNA LOCK THIS THING UP, STAN?

LOOKS KINDA COOL.

LOCK IT UP, TOBY. I NEVER WANNA SEE IT AGAIN!

♪

GOOD NEWS, STAN, MAD MONKEY'S A MONSTER HIT!

BOX OFFICE RECEIPTS ARE GOING THROUGH THE ROOF,

AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE MASK!

YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU GUYS.

PUTTING HIM IN THE SHOW WAS A STROKE OF GENIUS!

IF THIS KEEPS UP, I MIGHT EVEN GIVE YOU YOUR OLD JOB BACK.

♪

THEY LOVED THE SHOW, BOSS, AND THEY LOVED THE BIG MONKEY.

OH, YES, YES, GET ME AN EVEN BIGGER MONKEY, EH!

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE BUDGET?

BUDGET, OH, I'll HANG THE BUDGET!

OR BETTER YET, HANG THAT FOOL, IPKISS!

BUT WHAT THEY REALLY LOVED WAS THE MASK!

OH, YES, THE MASK!

HOW DO WE LURE BACK THE MASK?

WE NEED A VILLAIN, OH, YES!

A SUPER VILLAIN, PREFERABLY ONE WITH A RICH BARITONE.

HOW DO WE GET THAT?

♪

OK, LOOK, WE'RE ONLY AUDITIONING THE SINGING SUPER VILLAINS.

WILL THE DANCING SUPER VILLAINS PLEASE WAIT OUTSIDE?

♪

ONCE WE GET A VILLAIN,

HOW WE GONNA DRAW THE MASK TO THE THEATER, BOSS?

I DON'T KNOW, BY DOING WHATEVER SUPER VILLAINS DO...

WREAK HAVOC, TERRORIZE PEOPLE, DESTROY A SECTION OF THE CITY.

YES, THAT'S IT.

GET ME A MAP OF THE CITY.

WE'LL PICK A NICE SECTION TO DESTROY.

BUT ONE WITH NOT TOO MANY THEATERGOERS, RIGHT?

AHHH!

MAN, ARE WE GONNA NEED MORE MONEY IN THE BUDGET.

HE'S GONE TOTALLY INSANE!

I GOTTA GET THE MASK BACK!

OKAY, HERE'S THE THING.

NONE OF YOU CAN DANCE, NONE OF YOU CAN SING.

NONE OF YOU REALLY SAY... MAD MONKEY!

♪

YES, YES!

NOW THAT SAYS MAD MONKEY!

HA HA HA HA HA!

♪

COME ON!

♪

HA HA HA HA HA, OH GOODIE!

IT'S IPKISS, THE MASK CAN WAIT!

IPKISS!

STEP ON MY PRODUCTION BUDGET WILL YOU?

NOW I'll STEP ON YOU!

♪

YOU CRUNCHED MY NUMBERS, IPKISS!

NOW I'M GONNA CRUNCH YOURS!

AH!

♪

I GOTTA GET THE MASK, AHHH!

♪

LOOK, LOOK, TOBY, I KNOW I DON'T HAVE THE KEY...

BUT YOU GOTTA LET ME INTO THAT SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX, YOU GOTTA!

AH, NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME, STANLEY.

GO AWAY.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH TALK.

EMPTY OUT THE BOXES.

WE GOTTA DO WHAT THEY SAY, STAN.

THEY SET THE WHOLE PLACE TO BLOW!

♪

OH, SURE, A FELLOW BANK EMPLOYEE YOU CAN'T HELP,

BUT ANY SCHMOE WITH A HOSTAGE AND HIGH-POWERED EXPLOSIVES

AND IT'S YES, SIR, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, SIR?

WOULD YOU LIKE FREE CHECKING, SIR?

HUH?

♪

AHHH!

♪

THERE YOU ARE!

♪

PUT THE BANK DOWN!

♪

AHHH, MY AUDIENCE HAS ARRIVED.

FINALLY, THE BIG TIME!

♪ I'M JUST AN ANGRY MONKEY, TEARING UP THE CHI-CHI ♪

♪ PUTTING ON A SHOW ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA DA DA DA ♪

UGH, AH!

♪

♪ I'M GONNA BE A BIG STAR ♪

♪ WATCH ME TOTAL THIS CAR ♪

♪ WITH MY TIPPY TOE ♪

AHHH!

SING WITH ME, BOYS!

♪

SING!

I'll SING WITH YOU!

♪ SURRENDER YOU PRETENTIOUS WITCH ♪

♪ I THINK YOU'RE REALLY LOSING IT ♪

♪ YOUR MONKEY IS WHIPPY SNOOT ♪

♪ AND YET HE'S GOT A MEAN LEFT HOOK ♪

♪ HURRY UP, BIG APE, WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE ♪

♪ BEND RIGHT DOWN AND I WILL WHISPER IN YOUR EAR ♪

♪ BOY, YOU SURE HAVE A NICE SMILE ♪

♪ WHILE YOU'RE HERE I THINK ♪

♪ I'll TIE YOU WITH A CHAIN ♪

♪

AHHH!

♪ WELL, GUESS THERE'S ALWAYS PLAN B ♪

♪ USE THE UKULELE FOR THE SAVAGE BRAIN ♪

♪

- UGH! - YEOH!

- EWW! - UHH!

♪ NOW LOOK AT ME STRAIGHT IN MY EYES ♪

♪ AND PICK UP SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE ♪

♪ YOU'RE COWARDLY, THAT IS MY HUNCH ♪

♪ THAT MONKEY SURE CAN PACK A PUNCH ♪

♪

AHHH!

♪ THIS IS GREAT, I BET I GET A MOVIE DEAL ♪

♪ GUESS WHAT GUYS, THIS APE'S GOT AN ACHILLES' HEEL ♪

♪

NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!

♪

I'M SURE THEY WENT THIS WAY.

HUH?

GEORGE AND IRA?

WE ONLY ROBBED THE BANKS FOR YOU, MR. BEDWETTER.

YEAH, WE HAD TO COVER ALL THEM EXTRA THINGS, YOU KNOW.

WELL FROM NOW ON, THE ONLY HOUSE

YOU'LL BE PLAYING IS THE BIG HOUSE.

WELL, STAN, YOU DID GOOD.

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OLD JOB BACK.

GREAT!

YOU CAN START BY CLEANING UP THIS MESS.

GREAT.

♪

ALL RIGHT, ONCE MORE FROM THE TOP!

♪ WE ARE INSANE, AS YOU CAN SEE ♪

♪ WE'RE GOING TO MASTERMIND A BIG CRIME SPREE ♪

♪ WE'LL RULE THE WORLD, WE WILL NOT FAIL ♪

♪ IF ONLY WE COULD BREAK ♪

♪ OUT OF THIS JAIL ♪

WELL, WHAT DO YA KNOW?

A GIANT CHANDELIER.

HMMM, I GUESS WE FOUND ROOM IN THE BUDGET AFTER ALL.

HA HA HA!

♪