Original subtitles

[theme music]

Bang.

♪ I gotcha with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm nouveau Deco Roman-Greco Rococo Barroco ♪

♪ Be-bop hip-hop flip-flop ♪

♪ Somebody stop me ♪

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

♪ Don't come a dime a dozen I stand out of the crowd ♪

♪ Babe when they made me yeah they broke the mold ♪

♪ Wholesome and kind, staid and refined ♪

♪ Totally out of my mind ♪

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see ♪

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪

♪ Oh look out ♪

♪ This is The Mask ♪♪

Smokin'.

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[Stanley] Why always the silent treatment, Walter?

Why can't we communicate better?

Ugh!

One mask to a customer, bub.

Boing.

Yikes, I'm missing the early bird breakfast

at the Blue Bird Diner.

Crash swish swish.

Whoa! Time's just whizzing by.

Ho ho! En garde!

Whither thee, my silent hulk

mine fishy snout will cleave thy bulk.

Splat

clank clank Spring forward, fall back.

Stanley 'Hey!'

crash

swish swish swish.

Mmm-hmm, my face is my fortune..

And breakfast is my religion.

Yeehaw! Time for some bulldog gravy and biscuits.

Screech.

Oh, heaven help me. Bulldog gravy and, bi-biscuits.

Aah!

Stan-man, I was about to file a missing person's report on you.

Oh, yeah, I, I'm s-sorry, I'm late, Charlie.

Gulp I've had a rough morning.

No kiddin'. You look like road kill.

But put on your best face.

I want you to meet our new hotshot employee.

Stanley, meet Chet Bozzack.

Stanley Ipkiss, my oh my, it's been a long time. Ha ha ha.

Ch-Ch-Chet B-Bozzack, y-you're the new, the new employee.

You guys know each other?

[both] We haven't seen each other since high school.

Say, we had some swell times, didn't we? Huh? Ha ha.

Gulp Yeah, real swell.

Stanley, oh, Chuck I'd like you to meet my old pal, Melvin.

Ha ha ha.

[gurgling]

What's wrong, Stanley Dipstick?

You're looking a little flushed. Ha ha.

[whirring]

Here's my term project, Mr. Philbert.

Stanley doorstop, ha ha.

Stanley doorstop.

Yes, Stanley doorstop, I remember that. Ha ha.

The infamous wood shop caper.

That was the one that got me expelled from Edge City High.

Gulp Ha, sorry about that.

Oh, ho ho! Don't be sorry. I had it coming.

It's not right to go around wood gluing things

to people's skulls. Ha ha.

Besides, you made a lousy doorstop. Ha ha.

Splash

Stan-man, you look like you've seen a ghost.

I have and his name is Chet Bozzack.

Evil clown King of Mayhem.

I thought you two were old buddies?

No, he always blamed me for getting expelled from school.

You know what, Charlie?

He's holding a grudge. I know it.

Come on, Stan. What's he gonna do?

- Swipe your lunch money. - No.

No, because that's not his style.

He wants to flush me.

Ha ha, so, he's into water sports.

The way you're talking, you'd think

he were the mask or something.

The mask!

Boom.

No!

Gosh and gollies, I was just looking for the washroom key.

Yeah, ahem, you see, I take my office supplies

very seriously, Chet.

[Chet] What's with the wooden mask?

Uh, w-w-what wooden mask?

Washroom key?

Oops.

Huh, I'll get it.

Showing Chet your organizational skills?

Come on, Stanley, let's check out the indoor plumbing

for old times' sake. Ha ha.

I told you he wants to flush me.

Easy, Stan, you're a ten on the tension meter.

Yeah, like, Charlie, I-I gotta take my break early.

[panting]

Phew! He's one guy I can't let you get anywhere near.

Huh!

He's another.

[car honking]

[Stanley] 'Hey!'

'Not even a scratch.'

Well, guess I'm stuck with you.

Whoa!

Ha ha, look, Walter, no mask. Honest.

Bwogg Aah!

Crash.

Ha ha, good old indestructible mask saved my bacon.

Wait a minute.

[Stanley whistles]

That Walter packs quite a punch.

Huh! Oh, I gotta find the other half before Walter.

Oh, come on! What am I worried about?

'It can't possibly work if it's broken.'

Can it?

[whirring]

Smokin'!

Hey, what are you doing here?

Oh, boy.

Well, split my skull and call me two-thirds Neapolitan.

Looks like it's half wedgie night on the police precinct eh?

I don't believe this.

Neither do I.

Your cheap threads are cramping my style, babe.

What'd you do with the remaining tablecloth?

Never mind that. I, we've gotta stop Walter.

Even half the Mask could give him incredible powers.

Yeah, stronger words never spoken.

But first!

What "But first" what?

[Stanley] 'Wow!'

[theme music]

The Monkey Movie Marathon.

Nine hours of fun fur and bananas!

Thud thud thud

swish

screech.

Mister, that's government property!

Splash

[theme music]

Good to finally spend some time together, huh champ?

Yeah, listen, shouldn't we be lookin' for Walter?

Yeah, tell that to the boys.

Well, okay.

I mean, it's not half my face he's got.

Poing.

Hey stealing chocolate, I must pay!

[whirring]

[screaming]

[panting]

Return my face now and no one gets hurt.

Walt? Oh, well, missed him.

Back to enjoying our day.

Sniff sniff clang.

And I'm taking it easy on you. Till I get to the Coco Bongo!

[Stanley] Look, don't you think it's more important to find Walter?

Hah! Not with your rhythm, white boy.

We gotta teach you to dance!

[howling]

[whistles]

Don't do that.

Paws off!

Why is it everyone wants to touch the face?

We can't let anyone see me like this.

My, you know, secret identity's hanging out all over the place.

Stanley! Well, well, well, long break, huh?

Oh, I-I-I forgot to tell you.

I had a-an appointment with the an MD, you know, a-a d-doctor.

Ting.

Uh, right, I, ahem, need you to mail this important document.

Sure thing, Charlie.

'You know, Stan.'

'You oughta watch out for that Chet.'

He covered for your absence just fine.

In fact, he'll cover for you tonight at the Coco Bongo.

That is unless you're still going.

- 'Yes!' - No!

- Yes. - No.

Yes! Yes!

- No! - Yes!

Well, make up your mind!

I'd say I'm definitely not sure.

Ugh! And you wonder why you don't get promoted.

Phew! Oh, that was close.

You know, Stan

you're really underestimating the popularity

of the Coco Bongo salad bar, babe.

They have jicama.

For the last time, that's not a Walter kind of hang out!

Swoosh

[rock music]

Uh, no Walter here. Let's go.

Oh no. I like this joint.

It has character.

At least I won't see anyone I know in here.

See you tomorrow, Agnus.

What'll ya have?

The split pea soup.

- Just coffee for me, please. - Yeah, me too.

Can you pour the decaf on his side

and make the other side regular?

Look, bud, you want a drink, you order a man's drink!

Ooh, then make it a red hot battery acid pile driver

with extra formaldehyde, a dirty glass

with a black widow spider ridin' on the olive.

We're outta olives.

Don't even think about it.

Glug glug

boosh hiss

burp.

[Mask] 'Whoo!'

Hey, we don't like Halloween yuppies in here.

Yeah, we eat punks like you for breakfast.

Oh, oh, oh, I see we haven't been flossing after every punk.

[Stanley] Uh, we were just leaving.

What do you mean we?

I didn't break ya in two yet.

Avast ye!

Did you hags get in here because it's ladies night?

[instrumental music]

Come on, let's get going. Come on. Let's go. Let's go!

Hah, back off, see? Or you're Swiss cheese.

Uh, the-the-the pen is mightier than the sword.

So, this is what I do as you.

It's the voodoo I do.

Thud thud thud

splosh splosh A great first day, doc.

I'm finally putting away those old urges.

I even met an old nerd from high school and left him alone.

Well, I really wanted to flush him, but I resisted.

[Chet] 'Uh, doc, I got something I gotta take care of.'

Call you back.

Hey, big guy, that's the worst shoe shine I've ever seen.

Ha ha ha.

Thud thud.

Whoa!

'What is this?'

[engine revving]

Screech

I am king of the jungle. Woo, watch out.

[Chet] 'Hey, Charlie.'

Chet! Hakuna matata, my man! Ya made it.

Oh, I've made it alright.

Chet, whoa..

Ain't I a gasser?

Where's Stanley?

Uh, a definite maybe, my man.

Say, Chet-Bo, did you forget your medication

before you got dressed?

You should talk. You look like a floor rug.

I think I'll skin you alive.

No! No, no, no, Chet! Chet, no, oh no..

[Charlie screaming]

When you see Ipkiss, tell him to meet me Edge City High

for a little night school.

'Yeah, night school.'

[theme music]

[whirring]

Stinkin'!

Face it, Stan-Bo. You're stylistically challenged.

If I were you, I'd never take off the mask.

You know, for all that style you claim to have

your track record with women is about as good as mine.

[Charlie] 'Psst! Stanley, that you?'

Uh, over here.

Close enough, my man, I'm not decent.

Charlie, what on earth...

It's Chet! He did this to me.

And to think, I was gonna make him employee of the month.

Bozzack? But why did...

'Cause he knew my cool threads outclassed his totally stupid

half green face split down the middle getup. That's why!

Chet has the other half of the mask.

Oh, we dance later.

We'll get even for all those dunkings and melvins.

Now, where's Chet?

He babbled something about meeting you Edge High tonight.

But hey, you wanna help me out here?

I have a serious wardrobe shortage.

Uh, I just happen to have these on me.

Gee, thanks.

Thud thud.

[Stanley] 'Whoa!'

We could've driven, you know?

I get better mileage.

[Chet] 'Ipkiss!'

You have one of these too?

There's only one and it's mine!

Hand over that mask, Bozzack.

The half jig is up.

No deal, nerd.

It's time for me to expel you.

Yes, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

[chuckling]

Yeehaw! I'm gonna hog-tie me a half-wit. Yuhoo!

You can do this stuff too?

You wear the mask, Bozzack. You better know the rules.

I know the rules.

[whirring]

Touche!

Toupee!

Well come on, join the dark side, Stanley.

Chet, give me the mask come on.

You're not the right personality type to wear it.

[Chet] Are you kidding?

I haven't had so much fun since I glued wood to your skull.

Make yourself useful and take care of laughing boy.

Ting.

Eww!

Ow!

Ooh, wet willie, a classic!

Which reminds me, it's time to even the score

for all those melvins.

Yeah.

Except I call 'em, wedgies!

[growling]

[screaming]

Anti-wedgie security system.

That kills me.

Anti-anti-wedgie security system.

Click boom [dog yelping]

May I recommend baby powder for that.

May I recommend reconstructive surgery for that.

Snap [screaming]

crash.

Whoa.

That's what I call facing the music.

Ffff.

In this corner, it's wrestling's favorite tag team.

The masked Mask and new accounts guy.

Watch out, he packs a mean fountain pen.

You're in buddy.

- What do you want me to do? - Never mind.

Bash.

Hey! Woodshop!

[Chet] 'Familiar?'

'This is where you helped destroy me a long time ago.'

So, it's only fitting that this is where I even the score.

Screech.

No!

Thud

I'm gonna remove 80 pounds of nerd off you.

[grunting]

[whirring]

Hey, wait a minute, this is going too far.

Cool it.

What?

Come on, get into it.

Don't listen to him, Chet. You gotta stop this.

You're outta control. Enough!

[grunting]

Say Stan, you got any aspirin

because we are about to get a splitting headache?

[screaming]

Ha ha. Why didn't you do that earlier?

Sense of jeopardy.

Keeps them on the edge of their seats.

Get this thing off of me!

Shut up, you fool.

Bash.

Now, wait. I haven't even flushed him yet.

[screaming]

I don't believe it.

I will snatch the half mask.

[Mask] 'From the big man's hand.'

Come on, come on. Put it on quick.

We have to see if it fuses back together.

Okay, but first, listen up, kid

I've got something to say.

Actually, two things to say.

[indistinct chattering]

One, I'm sorry we never got to the Coco.

I really wanted to teach you to dance.

[Stanley] Write me a letter.

Ha ha ha, and two..

There's something I've always wanted to give you.

What, what?

[theme music]

Half wedgie!

Zap

thud thud [intense music]

thud thud.

Why?

I stared into the abyss, Stanley. Right into it.

Yeah, I think I did too.

I'm sorry for everything I've done to you.

I'm gonna put the past behind me and move on.

I'm gonna leave Edge City and find a new future.

Well, something tells me Charlie would agree with your decision.

Oh, Chet..

You're fired!

Well, gotta know.

[whirring]

Psych!

[Mask laughing]

[Mask] Somebody stop me!

[theme music]