All language subtitles for The MASK - S01 E14 - Santa Mask (480p - AMZN Web-DL)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,552 --> 00:00:02,830 [theme music] 2 00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:08,974 ♪ I gotcha with my winnin' smile ♪ 3 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,872 ♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪ 4 00:00:10,941 --> 00:00:14,255 ♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪ 5 00:00:14,324 --> 00:00:17,362 ♪ I'm Nouveau Deco Roman Greco Rococo Barroco ♪ 6 00:00:17,431 --> 00:00:19,467 ♪ Be-bop hip-hop flip-flop ♪ 7 00:00:19,536 --> 00:00:21,780 ♪ Somebody stop me ♪ 8 00:00:21,849 --> 00:00:25,611 ♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪ 9 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,130 ♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪ 10 00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:28,821 ♪ I stand out of the crowd ♪ 11 00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:30,720 ♪ Babe when they made me ♪ 12 00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:32,653 ♪ Yeah they broke the mold ♪ 13 00:00:32,722 --> 00:00:34,448 ♪ Wholesome and kind staid and refined ♪ 14 00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,208 ♪ Totally out of my mind ♪ 15 00:00:36,277 --> 00:00:38,210 ♪ Arch-villains and never-do-wells ♪ 16 00:00:38,279 --> 00:00:40,143 ♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪ 17 00:00:40,212 --> 00:00:43,353 ♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see ♪ 18 00:00:43,422 --> 00:00:45,700 ♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪ 19 00:00:45,769 --> 00:00:47,737 ♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪ 20 00:00:47,806 --> 00:00:50,015 ♪ Oh-h-h look out ♪ 21 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:54,882 ♪ This is The Mask ♪♪ 22 00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:57,540 Smokin'! 23 00:00:59,197 --> 00:01:01,406 [instrumental music] 24 00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,007 [bells ringing] 25 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:18,870 Charlie. 26 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,494 Charlie. 27 00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:24,360 I don't want to be Santa. 28 00:01:24,429 --> 00:01:29,089 Ease up, Stanley Claus, it's almost Christmas Eve. 29 00:01:29,158 --> 00:01:30,780 Where is your Christmas spirit? 30 00:01:30,849 --> 00:01:32,539 It got frost bite over an hour ago. 31 00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:35,198 Look, Charlie, my beard is starting to ice... 32 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,027 Hang in there, my man. 33 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,753 Only, uh, three more hours to closing. 34 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,898 ♪ Ho ho ho our home loan rates are low low low ♪ 35 00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:48,211 ♪ Ho ho ho.. ♪♪ 36 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,972 Well, at least I'm not the only poor slob doin' this. 37 00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,423 Hey, ha ha ha, ho ho ho! 38 00:01:53,491 --> 00:01:54,491 How are you doin'? 39 00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:57,531 Is this the pits or what? 40 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,464 I-I-I mean, unless you like 41 00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:01,293 this sort of the Ch-Christmas thing. 42 00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,571 Which many people do. You, you being one of.. 43 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,159 Crash 44 00:02:07,368 --> 00:02:08,368 [gasps] 45 00:02:09,094 --> 00:02:10,094 I'm gone. 46 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,307 [Dak] 'Dudes, cheap shot!' 47 00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:18,345 We saw that bank first, we're gonna rob it. 48 00:02:18,414 --> 00:02:21,658 Yeah, and he stole our Santa suit idea. 49 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:26,111 Thud thud thud. 50 00:02:27,492 --> 00:02:30,357 Oh, what's he gonna do, Dak? 51 00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:32,635 Don't know, Eddie. 52 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,187 Whizz 53 00:02:36,017 --> 00:02:37,295 plat. 54 00:02:37,364 --> 00:02:42,300 Alright, dude, prepare to submit to my feet. 55 00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:43,956 And mine also. 56 00:02:44,025 --> 00:02:47,270 We're the Terrible-Two, me and him. 57 00:02:47,339 --> 00:02:51,204 You fellows aren't robbing this bank. 58 00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,380 - Are you? - This is unbelievable. 59 00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:56,417 Yeah? We're robbing it. What are you gonna do about it? 60 00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:58,764 I'll uncinch my belt. 61 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,490 Which is the only thing keeping me 62 00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:02,112 from inflating so large. 63 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,632 I'd blow this block sky-high 64 00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:09,499 for I am Kablamus, "The Exploding Man." 65 00:03:09,568 --> 00:03:11,777 - Dak. - Eddie.. 66 00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:14,677 He's got better powers than me. 67 00:03:14,746 --> 00:03:17,127 [male #1] 'Out is the way, caballeros' 68 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,165 I am Don Julovit 69 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,685 the greatest bandit in all of Lisbon. 70 00:03:22,754 --> 00:03:26,930 And I have travelled far to rob estebanko. 71 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,070 Hey, you, all of you just back off. 72 00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:31,487 Unless you wanna mess with the Philly Kid or somethin'. 73 00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:33,454 [all shouting] 74 00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:35,422 [siren blaring] 75 00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:41,393 My fellow citizens, for the duration of Christmas 76 00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:44,569 I'm pronouncing Edge City a Santa-free zone. 77 00:03:44,638 --> 00:03:45,846 A severe measure, I know. 78 00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:48,124 But every year it's the same thing. 79 00:03:48,192 --> 00:03:50,471 Every two-bit crook, thief and mutant 80 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:54,199 abuses the holidays by robbing banks disguised as Santa. 81 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:57,237 Thus making the streets a most unfluffy place to be. 82 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,929 Therefore, in the name of public safety 83 00:03:59,998 --> 00:04:03,035 I'm calling out a city wide dragnet to haul all the Santa's 84 00:04:03,104 --> 00:04:04,244 into the jailhouse. 85 00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:07,039 Help. I'm innocent. 86 00:04:08,178 --> 00:04:10,146 [instrumental music] 87 00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:16,635 Gee, if I'd known, I'll be spending Christmas 88 00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:19,535 with Walter, I would've got him something. 89 00:04:19,603 --> 00:04:22,226 [sniffs] It stinks in here! 90 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,781 [Santa] 'I smell it too.' 91 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:27,404 It's the stench of a stupefyingly 92 00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:31,098 inapt bureaucracy called... jail. 93 00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:32,962 Thank you. 94 00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:35,413 Locked up like some two-bit grift 95 00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:38,207 around the one night of the year every kid in the world 96 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,210 is waiting for my deliveries. 97 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,765 These people are such pests. 98 00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,974 Oh, you must work for the post office? 99 00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:46,976 Hi, Stanley Ipkiss, new accounts. 100 00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:49,461 I suppose working in a bank 101 00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:52,395 gives you license to dress like me. 102 00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:54,466 And at least you're not a fish. 103 00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:56,675 Hey! 104 00:04:56,744 --> 00:05:01,818 Right! I'm talking to a guy who thinks he's Santa Claus. 105 00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:03,337 A skeptic, eh? 106 00:05:03,406 --> 00:05:06,409 Well, just you take a look here, little mister? 107 00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:09,309 'Here you see there is the misses, my elves' 108 00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:13,036 'and my North Pole Sleigh license.' 109 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,349 And I can assure you that that's one 110 00:05:15,418 --> 00:05:17,834 doozy of a driving test. 111 00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:19,767 Have you ever tried getting eight reindeer 112 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,805 to parallel park it's... absurd. 113 00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:25,048 Ipkiss, Stanley, you're free to go. 114 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,429 Well! 115 00:05:26,498 --> 00:05:29,639 Nice talking to you, uh, Santa. 116 00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:30,951 Let me out of here. 117 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:33,988 Now, just wait a minute, you may or may not believe 118 00:05:34,057 --> 00:05:37,784 I'm Santa Claus and frankly I don't care. 119 00:05:37,854 --> 00:05:39,373 But there's a lot of children 120 00:05:39,442 --> 00:05:42,894 who're going to be very disappointed tomorrow morning. 121 00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:44,308 Right. Right, yes, sir. 122 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,725 But, you see, that's really none of my.. Guard! 123 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:49,832 If only someone could fill in for me. 124 00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,799 Somebody pure of heart. 125 00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:54,146 Pure is good, I really.. 126 00:05:54,215 --> 00:05:55,872 [Santa] 'Somebody noble.' 127 00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:59,635 'Heroic! Somebody about to leave this cell.' 128 00:05:59,704 --> 00:06:01,844 Oh! You mean like me? 129 00:06:02,431 --> 00:06:04,881 Well, no. 130 00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:07,228 But you're certainly the front-runner in this room. 131 00:06:08,954 --> 00:06:10,508 Okay. You gotta help me here, man. 132 00:06:10,577 --> 00:06:13,096 There, there, there is no such thing as Santa. 133 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,995 He, he's just a legend, right? 134 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,101 Maybe you oughta ask them. 135 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,380 [comical music] 136 00:06:25,454 --> 00:06:27,939 Santa's in jail. Isn't he, daddy? 137 00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:29,527 I saw it on TV. 138 00:06:29,596 --> 00:06:33,841 Well, I, uh.. No, there he is, Tim! 139 00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:34,980 Lookie! 140 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,501 Oh, ah-ah ah, yo ho ho. 141 00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:40,641 That's not Santa, daddy. 142 00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:42,367 That's just some jerk. 143 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,334 Oh, come on, son, let's go. 144 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,060 Jerk! 145 00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:47,510 [Santa] There's a lot of children 146 00:06:47,579 --> 00:06:50,755 who're going to be very disappointed tomorrow morning. 147 00:06:50,824 --> 00:06:52,619 Jerk. 148 00:06:52,688 --> 00:06:55,034 Oh, whether I believe in Santa or not 149 00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:57,106 I am not gonna go down in history 150 00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:59,246 as the jerk who could've saved Christmas. 151 00:06:59,315 --> 00:07:00,834 And besides, I already got the suit. 152 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,422 That's a good start, right? 153 00:07:02,491 --> 00:07:04,113 Oh, now, I just gotta figure out 154 00:07:04,182 --> 00:07:06,149 a high speed delivery system that'll service, oh 155 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,876 I don't know, about a gazillion kids before tomorrow morning. 156 00:07:09,912 --> 00:07:11,845 [comical music] 157 00:07:16,884 --> 00:07:20,094 Grrr grrrr [whimpering] 158 00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:22,683 No, no. I know, I know. But don't worry, buddy. 159 00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:23,995 It's for a good cause. 160 00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:25,962 Santa's in the hoosegow. 161 00:07:26,031 --> 00:07:28,862 I've got to bring the children of the world their gifts. 162 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:33,694 [zapping] 163 00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:37,318 On Rudolph, on Prancer, on Mason and Dixen. 164 00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:39,942 On Mo, Larry, Curly, and Reagan and Nixon. 165 00:07:40,011 --> 00:07:41,978 [Milo growling] 166 00:07:47,881 --> 00:07:49,365 Ho, there, Rudolph! 167 00:07:51,159 --> 00:07:53,300 [Milo panting] 168 00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:58,478 Ha! I'm a liberated Santa. 169 00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:02,102 Creak creak creak. 170 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,558 - Santa? - No, the Tooth Fairy. 171 00:08:09,627 --> 00:08:13,285 Thud I'm just kiddin', kiddo. 172 00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:15,184 So, tell me.. 173 00:08:15,253 --> 00:08:16,772 What do you want for Christmas? 174 00:08:16,841 --> 00:08:19,119 Uh, I already told you 175 00:08:19,188 --> 00:08:22,087 when I sat on your lap at the department store. 176 00:08:22,156 --> 00:08:23,986 You did? 177 00:08:25,263 --> 00:08:27,334 Don't you remember, Santa? 178 00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:31,476 Well, of co-o-ourse. 179 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,650 Refresh my memory. 180 00:08:32,719 --> 00:08:35,894 I asked for a rocking horse. 181 00:08:35,962 --> 00:08:38,000 Is that a problem? 182 00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:40,865 Well, come on, do I look like a cut-rate Santa to you? 183 00:08:40,933 --> 00:08:43,592 Think about it. Rocking horses are kids stuff. 184 00:08:43,661 --> 00:08:47,284 Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a kid! 185 00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:50,150 What you need is the real thing! 186 00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:52,428 [neighing] 187 00:08:53,429 --> 00:08:55,155 [laughing] 188 00:08:55,224 --> 00:08:56,881 A horsey! 189 00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:59,055 A race horsey. 190 00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:00,895 Put 20 bucks on his nose to win in the third race 191 00:09:00,919 --> 00:09:02,196 at Aqueduct next Sunday. 192 00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:05,165 And Santa will be back for his winnings! 193 00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:06,476 We'll split 50-50. 194 00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,343 [whirring] 195 00:09:11,412 --> 00:09:12,931 Clang 196 00:09:13,622 --> 00:09:17,833 vroom Well, what have we here? 197 00:09:17,902 --> 00:09:21,008 Another fat joker in a red suit breaking and entering. 198 00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:23,321 Lieutenant. 199 00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:27,014 We prefer to call ourselves anatomically enhanced. 200 00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:29,016 Pleasantly plump, big boned whatever. 201 00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:31,709 Last I heard this town was a Santa-free zone. 202 00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:34,332 Which means jolly boy there, is breakin' the law. 203 00:09:34,401 --> 00:09:37,680 'This is the Edge City police.' You are under arrest.' 204 00:09:37,749 --> 00:09:39,371 Under-dressed? 205 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,418 Call me whacky, but I think I'm with the whole nine yards 206 00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:42,685 including accessories. 207 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:45,654 'I repeat. You're under arrest.' 208 00:09:45,723 --> 00:09:48,035 Okay, I'm with you. Okay, fine, fine, fine. 209 00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:50,175 You see that is different. 210 00:09:53,489 --> 00:09:56,803 'So I can sit on your lap and read you your rights.' 211 00:09:56,872 --> 00:09:58,252 whoosh 212 00:09:59,115 --> 00:10:00,945 [whistle] Giddy-up, Rudy. 213 00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,947 [whirring] 214 00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,745 [siren blaring] 215 00:10:09,781 --> 00:10:12,473 No renegade Santa's gettin' away from me. 216 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:15,649 Lieutenant, he's flyin'. 217 00:10:15,718 --> 00:10:18,548 He's really flyin'. 218 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,171 What if he's the real Santa? 219 00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:25,279 Clank [instrumental music] 220 00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:28,662 Time to soup this buggy up. 221 00:10:28,731 --> 00:10:30,975 Eat my fairy dust. 222 00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:32,873 Or should that be Elf dust? 223 00:10:32,942 --> 00:10:35,565 Vroom Wow! 224 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,154 He's gotta be the real Santa. 225 00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:41,088 Doyle, wake up and smell the eggnog. 226 00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:42,331 Santa's are fake. 227 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,919 They're all fakes. 228 00:10:43,988 --> 00:10:46,162 I've known that since I was five. 229 00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:49,165 When I asked for Captain Choo Choo, did I get it? 230 00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:51,029 'No, I did not.' 231 00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,962 'All I got was a lousy shirt.' 232 00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:55,965 Well, we asked for lots of nice presents in our letter 233 00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:58,727 but have we been a good boy, It. Kellaway? 234 00:10:58,796 --> 00:11:00,004 I have, Santa. 235 00:11:00,073 --> 00:11:03,145 Uh. Why's your face all green? 236 00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:04,940 I'll tell you why. 237 00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,838 Because he's The Mask. 238 00:11:06,907 --> 00:11:09,082 Hey! 239 00:11:09,151 --> 00:11:12,430 Hey, how'd you like me to do that to your facial hair, bucko? 240 00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:16,020 Ow! 241 00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:18,229 [laughs] 242 00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:20,887 Somebody, stop me. 243 00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:22,923 [upbeat music] 244 00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:24,787 Vroom 245 00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:26,686 [tire screeching] 246 00:11:27,341 --> 00:11:29,274 Whoosh 247 00:11:30,448 --> 00:11:32,036 swoosh swoosh 248 00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:35,004 [screams] 249 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:36,626 Clink 250 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:41,010 vroom Whoa! 251 00:11:41,079 --> 00:11:42,909 [both shouting] 252 00:11:44,876 --> 00:11:46,809 Screech 253 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,747 whirr Ho ho ho. Well, here you go. 254 00:11:53,816 --> 00:11:55,853 Merry Christmas, sport. 255 00:11:55,922 --> 00:11:56,992 And one for you. 256 00:11:58,994 --> 00:12:01,548 [Doyle] A VCR. 257 00:12:01,617 --> 00:12:03,653 What did you get, lieutenant? 258 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,828 A flannel shirt. 259 00:12:05,897 --> 00:12:09,349 Yes, to match your flannel underwear. 260 00:12:09,418 --> 00:12:11,006 Yuletide wedgie! 261 00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:13,215 [laughing] 262 00:12:13,284 --> 00:12:15,942 [grunting] 263 00:12:16,011 --> 00:12:19,255 Hey, don't, don't those flannel kinds itch? 264 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,602 Screech. 265 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,571 Now to fly. Have a happy.. 266 00:12:25,192 --> 00:12:27,022 [cracking] 267 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,575 Run! 268 00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:32,130 [panting] Kellaway here. 269 00:12:32,199 --> 00:12:34,350 I want an all-points bulletin on a fugitive Santa heading north 270 00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:35,651 outside Land Field Park. 271 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,172 [panting] And a very large crane. 272 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:43,832 Splash ♪ La la lala lala la ♪♪ 273 00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:46,040 [The Mask] 'Oh, back in the saddle again, eh, Rudy?' 274 00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:48,629 Let's say we drop off a few more... 275 00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:50,770 [policeman on PA] 'Alright, pull the sleigh over.' 276 00:12:50,839 --> 00:12:52,047 'You're under arrest.' 277 00:12:52,116 --> 00:12:53,842 Rudy, you divert him. 278 00:12:55,326 --> 00:12:57,052 Swoosh 279 00:12:57,846 --> 00:12:58,915 whirr. 280 00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:00,710 Some diversion. 281 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,715 Swoosh [up-tempo music] 282 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,307 [panting] Some town. 283 00:13:11,376 --> 00:13:13,620 You'd think they would welcome Santa. 284 00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:19,005 Buzz buzz Now, that's more like it! 285 00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,110 Whirr 286 00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:25,459 swoosh 287 00:13:27,082 --> 00:13:31,914 thud Good evening, Mr. Kringle. 288 00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:34,503 A creature is stirring. I think it's a louse. 289 00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:38,231 I've being trying to capture you for years. 290 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,095 [evil laugh] 291 00:13:40,164 --> 00:13:42,062 Well, you probably think your abduction 292 00:13:42,131 --> 00:13:44,444 has something to do with ruining Christmas 293 00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,446 for the children of the world. 294 00:13:46,515 --> 00:13:48,689 Which no doubt it will. 295 00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:51,692 But that's merely an unfortunate side-effect. 296 00:13:51,761 --> 00:13:56,870 For my motive has nothing to do with spoiling holidays. 297 00:13:56,939 --> 00:14:00,218 Uh, but everything to do with science. 298 00:14:00,287 --> 00:14:03,428 What I seek, is the power 299 00:14:03,497 --> 00:14:07,053 of your magical, bottomless sack. 300 00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:10,677 I want to study it. 301 00:14:10,746 --> 00:14:12,472 Dissect it. 302 00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:16,510 [grunts] Learn the secret of pulling a trillion toys 303 00:14:16,579 --> 00:14:20,514 out of one over-sized pillow case. 304 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:21,515 [grunting] 305 00:14:21,584 --> 00:14:23,207 [mumbles] 306 00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:24,587 Whoosh. 307 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:30,386 Why, this sack defies all known laws of physics? 308 00:14:30,455 --> 00:14:32,181 And once I master it 309 00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,839 just imagine the things I can pull out. 310 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,772 - Imagine. - You? 311 00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:38,118 Ah, ah, ah! 312 00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:39,775 I think somebody's got 313 00:14:39,844 --> 00:14:42,674 a little repressed holiday anger. 314 00:14:42,743 --> 00:14:46,747 So, what the dickens shall we do about it? Hmm! 315 00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:49,750 I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. 316 00:14:49,819 --> 00:14:53,306 Remember this? You were five years old. 317 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,997 Dissecting kit? 318 00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:57,413 Hey, come on, kid, wouldn't you rather have a toy truck? 319 00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,001 'You didn't get your dissecting kit' 320 00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:00,392 and that's when you decided to become 321 00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:03,868 the twisted criminal scientific genius you are today. 322 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:07,113 Actually, it wasn't anything like that at all. 323 00:15:07,182 --> 00:15:09,978 Hmph! Next up! 324 00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:11,980 [The Mask] I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present. 325 00:15:14,361 --> 00:15:16,260 Thank you, little drummer boy. 326 00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:20,505 Who, who are you? 327 00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:23,508 The Ghost of Christmas Future. 328 00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:25,510 Your future brings a gift. 329 00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:29,238 A gift from The Mask. 330 00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:31,171 I've already got it. 331 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:32,966 Beware! 332 00:15:34,002 --> 00:15:35,417 It's not a watch! 333 00:15:37,246 --> 00:15:38,247 Boom 334 00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:41,906 [coughing] 335 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,081 I'll get you for this, Mask. 336 00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:46,946 Hey! Makin' a New Year's resolution? 337 00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:50,811 Crash [comical music] 338 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:51,951 swish 339 00:15:53,262 --> 00:15:54,712 whirr 340 00:15:56,540 --> 00:16:00,545 Rudy? Oh, Rudy! 341 00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:02,582 'Rudy!' 342 00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:04,066 'Milo?' 343 00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:05,895 Milo! 344 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,518 No matter. I've got remote. 345 00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:08,622 Whizz 346 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:12,350 swish [whimpering] 347 00:16:14,042 --> 00:16:16,147 Smokin'! 348 00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:18,425 Who said you need eight reindeer? 349 00:16:18,494 --> 00:16:20,841 Well, that was an amusing digression, hmm? 350 00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:24,086 Now, let's see. How many gifts have I delivered so far? 351 00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:25,708 Well, not counting Doyle's VCR. 352 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,746 It. Kellaway's flannel shirt. It would be... one. 353 00:16:28,815 --> 00:16:31,128 Good thing I've got plenty of time. 354 00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:32,853 [instrumental music] 355 00:16:32,922 --> 00:16:36,926 - 'Dude, you think it'll work? - 'Piece of cake.' 356 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,343 [Dak] 'I've been working with explosives my whole life' 357 00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:42,760 'and never seen this much fire power in one container.' 358 00:16:42,829 --> 00:16:44,003 Just do it! 359 00:16:44,072 --> 00:16:47,213 Before our friend the fish stick asphyxiates us all. 360 00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:48,490 Hey! 361 00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:50,319 Let her rip! 362 00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:54,634 Kaboom [indistinct chattering] 363 00:17:00,985 --> 00:17:04,644 Edge City's ours for the takin'. Ow! 364 00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:12,238 Well, let me see, do I give Bonnie the Bedwedding doll 365 00:17:12,307 --> 00:17:14,688 or Suzie Pastor Junior home cheese world. 366 00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:17,174 [alarm ringing] 367 00:17:17,242 --> 00:17:18,865 [indistinct chatter] 368 00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:20,832 But first.. 369 00:17:20,901 --> 00:17:22,834 [alarm ringing] 370 00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:24,422 Oh, this is cool. 371 00:17:24,491 --> 00:17:27,977 'Cause like instead of giving stuff like Santa usually does 372 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,876 we're takin' stuff. 373 00:17:29,944 --> 00:17:33,086 [The Mask] 'And you call yourselves Santas?' 374 00:17:33,155 --> 00:17:36,400 You're the sorriest bunch of sad Santa I've ever seen. 375 00:17:36,469 --> 00:17:38,160 Present belly! 376 00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:39,781 Blup. 377 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,060 Now, shake 'em like a bowl full of jelly. 378 00:17:42,613 --> 00:17:44,993 Pathetic! 379 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,445 You all need to work on your jolliness. 380 00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:50,792 Fortunately, I prepared a little number 381 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,968 to help you do just that, ladies. 382 00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:56,696 And it goes something like this. 383 00:17:56,765 --> 00:17:58,698 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 384 00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,907 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪ 385 00:18:00,976 --> 00:18:02,909 ♪ O'er the fields we go ♪ 386 00:18:02,978 --> 00:18:05,463 ♪ Laughing all the way ♪♪ Ha ha ha ♪ 387 00:18:05,532 --> 00:18:07,396 ♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪ 388 00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:09,226 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 389 00:18:09,295 --> 00:18:11,297 ♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing ♪ 390 00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:13,644 ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪ 391 00:18:13,713 --> 00:18:15,818 ♪ Jingle bells jingle bells ♪ 392 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:18,097 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 393 00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:20,133 ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪ 394 00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:22,411 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪ 395 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,896 ♪ Jingle bells jingle bells ♪ 396 00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:27,106 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 397 00:18:27,175 --> 00:18:29,142 ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪ 398 00:18:29,211 --> 00:18:31,558 ♪ In a one-horse ♪ 399 00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:36,460 ♪ Open sleigh ♪♪ 400 00:18:38,841 --> 00:18:40,084 - Excellent! - Excellent! 401 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,637 [speaking in Spanish] 402 00:18:41,706 --> 00:18:43,605 For what do we listen to this, this.. 403 00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:46,746 [speaking in Spanish] 404 00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:48,817 Yeah, what he say. We're crooks. 405 00:18:48,886 --> 00:18:51,199 We don't have to sing and dance for nobody. 406 00:18:51,268 --> 00:18:54,892 Alright! You asked for it! 407 00:18:54,961 --> 00:18:56,583 You leave me no choice 408 00:18:56,652 --> 00:19:00,449 but to unleash the deadliest holiday weapon ever created. 409 00:19:00,518 --> 00:19:02,658 'Something so unspeakable.' 410 00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:04,488 'It inevitably goes uneaten.' 411 00:19:04,557 --> 00:19:06,904 Till it hardens and gets thrown away. 412 00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:08,250 That's right. 413 00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:10,563 Fruit cake! 414 00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:12,289 It's time for the holidays. 415 00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:16,500 [gibbering] 416 00:19:16,569 --> 00:19:18,053 Now then.. 417 00:19:18,122 --> 00:19:19,951 Let us dash through the snow, one-horse. 418 00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:21,229 Swoosh 419 00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:24,301 vroom. 420 00:19:26,993 --> 00:19:28,926 Well, I'll be.. 421 00:19:28,995 --> 00:19:32,136 Wow! I love fruit cake. 422 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,862 Shut up and book 'em, Doyle. 423 00:19:33,931 --> 00:19:36,520 [helicopter whirring] 424 00:19:36,589 --> 00:19:39,005 Okay, Rudolph. It's gonna take some hustle. 425 00:19:39,074 --> 00:19:40,903 But give me one good reason 426 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,836 we can't deliver these presents tonight. 427 00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:45,322 [whimpering] 428 00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:49,947 [instrumental music] 429 00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:51,811 That's a pretty good reason. 430 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,262 Alas, I failed to save Christmas 431 00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:56,091 I can't bear to live with myself. 432 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,506 I sure hope Ipkiss 433 00:19:57,575 --> 00:20:00,129 is more emotionally stable than I am. 434 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,201 [grunting] 435 00:20:04,548 --> 00:20:07,896 One present. I delivered one present? 436 00:20:07,965 --> 00:20:11,658 Milo, Milo, why did I rely on The Mask? 437 00:20:11,727 --> 00:20:13,488 Oh, man, I should've known better. 438 00:20:13,557 --> 00:20:16,215 Now, I am the jerk who could've saved Christmas. 439 00:20:16,284 --> 00:20:17,837 [whimpering] 440 00:20:17,906 --> 00:20:20,805 Woof What is it, boy? 441 00:20:20,874 --> 00:20:23,360 [barking] 442 00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:28,192 [laughing] Chrisbot and Spinesnapper. 443 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:32,403 Santa brought me the Mangloids. Ha ha ha! 444 00:20:32,472 --> 00:20:36,027 Milo, the gifts did get delivered! 445 00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:37,822 Of course. 446 00:20:37,891 --> 00:20:40,653 Santa busted out of jail along with the crooks. 447 00:20:40,722 --> 00:20:42,724 [instrumental music] 448 00:20:44,864 --> 00:20:46,866 [church bell tolling] 449 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:49,696 Santa does exist. 450 00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:50,870 Don't you see? 451 00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:53,562 How else could the kids have gotten their gifts? 452 00:20:53,631 --> 00:20:55,840 There is no such thing as Santa. 453 00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:57,325 I know. 454 00:20:57,394 --> 00:21:00,673 No, no, no. You are wrong, lieutenant, and I can prove it. 455 00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:02,226 [Stanley] 'He was in this cell.' 456 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:04,297 He got free when the crooks busted out 457 00:21:04,366 --> 00:21:06,265 and then he delivered all the gifts. 458 00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:07,369 Yeah, do ya see? 459 00:21:07,438 --> 00:21:10,061 No, Ipkiss, I don't see. 460 00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:12,926 All suspects are catalogued in this book. 461 00:21:12,995 --> 00:21:14,825 So, as you can see 462 00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:16,792 'no such guy was ever arrested.' 463 00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:19,347 But, but I.. 464 00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,521 Now, if you'll excuse me, it's Christmas morning 465 00:21:21,590 --> 00:21:24,283 so I'd like to bowl a few down at Landfill Lanes. 466 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,631 [instrumental music] 467 00:21:33,982 --> 00:21:37,882 Thud Captain Choo-Choo. 468 00:21:40,816 --> 00:21:43,716 Nah! Couldn't be. 469 00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:48,410 Well, Milo, I miss.. 470 00:21:48,479 --> 00:21:50,999 You know, kinda nice thinkin' there was a Santa Claus 471 00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:53,760 but... I guess.. 472 00:21:53,829 --> 00:21:57,454 Swoosh [barking] 473 00:21:57,523 --> 00:21:58,972 [Stanley] Let me see that, boy. 474 00:21:59,041 --> 00:22:00,457 A present! 475 00:22:00,526 --> 00:22:01,734 And there's a note. 476 00:22:01,803 --> 00:22:04,184 [Santa] "Nice try, sport." 477 00:22:04,253 --> 00:22:06,739 "But this job isn't for amateurs." 478 00:22:06,808 --> 00:22:09,914 "P.S., I got this especially for you." 479 00:22:09,983 --> 00:22:11,433 "Ciao, S.C." 480 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,746 That's odd. 481 00:22:15,782 --> 00:22:17,474 Ha ha ha! 482 00:22:17,543 --> 00:22:19,476 I don't think I've ever been so glad 483 00:22:19,545 --> 00:22:21,167 to see a flannel shirt. 484 00:22:22,306 --> 00:22:25,482 Oh, yes, Milo, there is a Santa Claus! 485 00:22:25,551 --> 00:22:27,587 [barking] 486 00:22:29,175 --> 00:22:30,590 [neighing] 487 00:22:30,659 --> 00:22:32,730 [girl #1] 'Ooh-ee, faster..' 488 00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:39,185 [theme music] 489 00:22:55,684 --> 00:22:57,583 [music continues] 33409

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