Original subtitles

[theme music]

♪ I've got ya with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a livin' lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ And I'm Nouveau Deco Roman-Greco ♪

♪ Rococo Barroco Be-bop Hip-hop, flip-flop ♪

♪ Somebody stop me ♪

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪

♪ I stand out of the crowd ♪

♪ They went, they made me yeah they broke the mold ♪

♪ Wholesome and kind staid and refined ♪

♪ Totally out of my mind ♪

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er do wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see ♪

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪

♪ Oh look out ♪

♪ This is the Mask ♪

♪ Ssmookiinn' ♪

[instrumental music]

[all screaming]

Un-hand that uranium, Pretorius.

Not uranium, plutonium.

Snob. Alright, I asked you nice.

Phoo clack clack clack Ah.

Dibs.

Whizz [all screaming]

Blah. Right, I'll go.

[screaming]

Don't get a-head of yourself.

[grunting]

Gotta... manoeuvre... get it. Charlie horse.

[horn blaring]

Thud

[instrumental music]

[whistles]

Thud thud thud

I love waiting to the last second.

Builds suspense.

Whack.

He's a miracle of science.

But still fit to be tied.

Hmm, now what did I forget?

That's right. Lethal green radioactive blob.

[all screaming]

Thud thud thud.

Nobody panic.

Whoa! That's hot.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Huh, here we go. Oh, yeah. Ha ha.

It's all in the wrists.

[applauding]

Don't try this at home, folks.

Plutonium is a highly unstable radioactive isotope.

[crash]

Thud Hand over my plutonium. Or else.

Could you elaborate on... "Or else."

Clang.

Hey, Swiss Army guy. Got a can opener?

The train's gonna crash.

[horn blaring]

This can only mean one thing. Soda pop will have to wait.

Okay, you win.

Whizz clink thud.

Upper body strength.

Nobody wants gum stuck in their shoes, right?

Squish squish Wrong.

[horn blaring]

[wheels screeching]

Cluck cluck cluck.

Smokin'.

[sirens blaring]

[instrumental music]

Thud.

Ah guys, we're alive.

[crowd blabbering]

Secure the stolen uranium, boys.

[Doyle] 'Oh, a second there. I think it's plutonium, lieutenant.'

Don't contradict me, Doyle.

Is this the stop for the Coco Bongo?

Freeze, clown.

For you. And for you.

- Aw! - 'Careful. It's hot.'

He sure makes our job easier, don't he, lieutenant?

Doyle.

Incidentally. Wedgie!

[Mitch] 'Get back here.'

whizz.

I singed my hands with the plutonium.

I wretched my back doing the Limbo

and I didn't get any sleep because the Mask

partied till dawn again.

Ow, okay, so maybe I did save the city.

But then I gave the entire police squad wedgies.

What's a five letter word for, did you say wedgie?

You know, I really wouldn't mind giving the Mask away.

Doctor Neuman. But there's no one I can trust with it.

Mr. Ipkiss, I find your fantasies intriguing.

I recommend you visit a safe haven for them.

Wh-what? You don't believe the Mask is real?

I'll believe you if you promise to go away.

You think, I'm crazy, don't you?

I don't think you're crazy, Mr. Ipkiss.

I think, you're making it all up because you enjoy annoying me.

Now, good bye, Mr. Ipkiss.

I'll prove to you the Mask is real.

Tring.

Examine a criminally insane prisoner?

After Ipkiss that'll be a welcome relief.

Seven o'clock this evening would be fine.

[instrumental music]

[barking]

Not now, Milo. I've gotta see a man about a Mask.

[barking]

Milo, not now.

Okay, we're gonna prove to Neuman you're for real.

Now, stretch your stuff.

[thunder]

[theme music]

Boing

boing Doctor Neuman.

Splosh

thud Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

[announcer] 'Track two. The express train..'

[instrumental music]

Vroom There's a something about a train..

Make me nervous. You never know...

Crash.

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

Boing A Gremlin. A Gremlin.

He'll destroy the train. I tell you.

It's okay. I'm a psychiatrist.

Somebody stop me.

[male #1] 'He's at the window.'

In the name of all that's holy, look out the window.

Of course, he's in the window. Calm down, we'll have a look.

Please, take my card.

[Milo panting]

[instrumental music]

And now, the inevitable encounter between the real

the bonafide, who you see before you mask

and el skeptico doctoro.

I'll fry that degenerate clown for assaulting a police officer

if I get my hands on him.

But first..

Whizz [Mask] 'Wedgie.'

[police officers screaming]

Whizz After him, men.

[instrumental music]

Whizz

[static]

Ah, my safe haven.

Help me, Doctor Neuman. Stop me before I wedgie again.

Mr. Ipkiss, I can have you arrested for stalking, you know.

Go ahead. Call the police.

You'll see, they are wearing their underwear

over their heads.

I don't care if you believe me. Take it.

You're the only person I can trust.

You're a psychotherapist.

[growls]

A dog? I have a pathological fear of dogs.

They can sense fear.

[barking]

Uh, uh, go away. Uh, uh.

Don't, Milo.

Okay, I'll take the mask.

Just promise you'll take your dog and go away.

[instrumental music]

[singing] Don't got no mask, don't you dare ask

'cause I ain't got no mask. No, no, no.

[barking]

What? Doctor Neuman? Wear the mask?

Ha ha. Don't be ridiculous, Milo.

He's not even curious.

He'd never put it on in a million years.

Hmm, it sparkles. Like a Christmas tree.

But what if he did put it on?

[tires screeching]

Thud.

Why do you insist on annoying me, Mr. Ipkiss?

Doctor Neuman, you wearing the mask?

Your fantasies about the mask, aren't just hallucinations.

Feelings of persecution, transference and denial.

I'm not the one in denial.

In short, you Mr. Ipkiss are suffering from ipkissiomaskosis.

For your own safety you must be straightjacketed.

Wedgie.

And now we must get you into that safe haven at once.

There maybe others like Ipkiss out there.

I must cure the world before it's too late.

Boing boing boing boing [growling]

Okay, so you were right.

Keep going, Milo. Come on, buddy. You almost got it.

Milo, what are you doing?

[barking]

You're stuck?

[whimpering]

Look, there's no time to lose. We have to find Doctor Neuman.

Ah-ha.

Regressive and infantile childhood fantasies.

A clear case of ipkissiomaskosis.

You maniac. Help! Police! Please, somebody help me.

Hmm, manifesting social impulses toward authority.

Another sign of ipkissiomaskosis.

Thud vroom [instrumental music]

A truly pathetic case of ipkissiomaskosis.

Growl.

You must be isolated from normal society.

Boing boing boing [instrumental music]

Now, look at these and tell me what you see.

Babe, babe, babe..

Ah-ugh, the Mask?

Tick tock tick tock.

A classic case of ipkissiomaskosis.

Ipkissiomaskosis? You mean, as in Stanley Ipkiss?

You know him?

Sure, he's a pal of mine.

And you did not report into the proper authority?

This calls for emergency corrective treatments.

- What do you have in mind? - I'm gonna remove your brain.

[Charlie screams]

Beep beep beep Oh-oh, I almost forgot.

I have an appointment at the jail house.

I'm afraid we'll have to schedule another session.

Whizz thud boing boing boing

[dramatic music]

E-uh, uh, sir. Hi. Listen, can you help me?

[screams]

Two-headed monster!

Stanley. Stanley. Oh, over here.

Stanley.

Charlie, buddy. Listen.

Did you see where the green guy went?

Y-you mean, the one wearing the-the mask?

Yeah, any particular reason?

Yes, he's, uh, he's got rabies. Milo bit him.

[barks]

You see that, see that?

We gotta get him to the doctor. He's delirious.

Yeah, I'll say. He wanted to remove my brain.

Anyway, he-he said he was going to the jail house.

Good. Get me out of this thing, will ya?

[Doctor Neuman] 'I have an appointment to examine a prisoner.'

- Doctor Neuman? - Yes.

I better double check your clearance.

Don't mess with me. I'm a licensed psychotherapist.

Uh, cell 18. Straight down the hall.

[instrumental music]

Doctor Neuman, I presume. I see you're wearing the mask.

Your condition is obvious.

Yet another victim of the dreaded ipkissiomaskosis.

Utter nonsense.

I'll tell you why they've put me here.

I've discovered the mysterious, illusive planet Vulcan.

[Pretorius] 'The home planet of our ancient ancestors.'

'Who visit us every 36 hundred years'

'when their orbit nears ours.'

'They, who gave us the technology to build Pyramids'

'and Stonehenge.'

'I need my plutonium back.'

'For my proving their existence depends entirely'

on the nuclear destruction of Edge city.

[instrumental music]

They were right. You are completely insane.

We're two peas in a pod. The world belongs to us.

Vroom

I demand this man be released into my custody immediately.

[door creaking]

Tell me more about the music of the spheres.

'Your genius inspires me.'

You have served you purpose. Now I must be on with my plan.

Need I remind you that you're under my care?

Gaze upon the heavens.

The cosmos is but a macrocosm of the human mind.

Look and you shall see.

I-I don't see anything.

Thump [instrumental music]

Yes, I do see it. You're a genius.

Good riddance.

'Don't go.'

I have so much to learn from you.

[barking]

There he is, Milo. After him.

[dramatic music]

Buzz whoosh

[dramatic music]

[Doctor Neuman] 'Yoo-hoo. Mr. Pretorius.'

Here I am. Please, tell me your plan.

[music continues]

He's workin' with Pretorius.

Open my mind. Release me from my darkness.

I will tell you my plan if you promise to go away.

Yes, yes, master.

You see this innocuous looking black box.

It is actually a high-powered camera

'capable of photographing a license plate on Pluto.'

[Pretorius] 'But the nether regions of outer space'

'are dark and murky and the photos all come out lousy.'

'So I need the plutonium to drop a nuclear warhead'

'on Edge city.'

'I have no interest in destroying the city, per se.'

'But the blinding flash will provide enough light'

'to photograph our alien ancestors on Vulcan.'

Not to mention, rid the city of that dreaded ipkissiamaskosis.

I like it.

I take advise from that guy? He's mad. They're both mad.

Milo, we gotta stop that missile.

[dramatic music]

Perhaps, you can be of assistance.

Destroy that man.

It's my professional duty.

[dramatic music]

[screams]

Heh, come on, come on, you. Get up.

Come back, Mr. Ipkiss.

'You're over due for your lobotomy.'

bang boing [music continues]

click

click Countdown.

[gasping]

[instrumental music]

[water splashing]

What the..

Rizz

clang clang clang boink clang clang clang

clang clang clang

[panting]

Clang clang clang Oh.

Yeow.

[screaming]

[gasping]

Seven.

Six.

I'll cure you for good with a little electric shock therapy.

You're not yourself.

'You're out of control.'

Huh, you're suffering from ipkissiomaskosis.

Ha ha ha.

You think, I'll fall for that reverse psychology trick?

You forget that I'm a trained psychotherapist.

Ha ha ha.

[music continues]

Ha. Your fly is open.

Huh?

Yeow.

Pew whizz thud.

Milo, frisbee.

Four.

Three.

One. Take off.

Click whizz Smoki..

[dramatic music]

Hee-haw. Go on there, cowboy. Whoa!

Beep beep beep [dramatic music]

snip

snip snip.

New plan.

Cheese, pickles. Easy on the green peppers.

Whoosh.

Umm-oh.

[dramatic music]

That's right. I'm gonna eat it.

Boing bang click click click

burp.

Oh, should've left off those green peppers.

Beep.

Fools at the Nobel prize board. Eat your hearts out.

Click

[dramatic music]

Argh.

Now than, just one last bit of unfinished business.

[screaming]

Well, Doctor Neuman, now do you believe me?

Doctor Neuman?

[Milo barking]

Nice doggy. Nice doggy.

[instrumental music]

Whoosh