Original subtitles

BIRDS TWITTERING

DOOR OPENS

DEARBHLA: The alarm wasn't even on!

It's just not good enough at all!

DEARBHLA COMPLAINING

UPBEAT MUSIC

SIGHS

PHONE PINGS

MELANCHOLIC MUSIC

PEOPLE CHATTERING

WHISPERS: Fuck.

You were on fire last night.

I could... I could barely keep up.

What time did you get back?

Oh, uh, pfffft...

yeah, nope, don't remember. You?

No, come on. Who was he?

Who? Who? Who...

The guy you went home with?

Who says I went home?

Ah, Shiv, you are in a literal

walk of shame right now.

Look at you.

And is that paint?

Oh. Oh, shit.

No fucking way.

You fucked your ex, didn't you?

The artist. You're fucking... yeah.

You're... you're fucking bad. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't know how bad.

Oh yeah?

Oh, I made a complaint against him.

What?

For... inappropriate behaviour.

LAUGHS OUT LOUD

And now you've just...

LAUGHS

Shiv. Yeah.

You didn't. Shh... shh.

LAUGHING

Sorry I'm late.

Oh. What was so funny?

Uh... Oh, nothing.

Good morning. Oh.

Good to see you. Ooh!

You smell like an off licence. Yeah.

Well, we, uh, we went clubbing last night.

You went clubbing?

Yeah.

Is that a good idea?

What do you mean? Well, given your recovery.

Oh. Didn't realise you had such respect for recovery.

No. She was on her best behaviour.

Water all night, home by midnight.

Even went to, uh, work this morning.

Yeah. Oh, and this is on me.

Nope. Yes. No arguments.

I'm just gonna run to the dunny.

So, Daryl says you gave him a real tour.

Wexford, Ag and Rita's.

Oh God.

LAUGHS

The old house.

Yeah.

I thought it would be nice for him to see where you grew up.

What was it like being back there?

Fine. Yeah.

It's just a house at the end of the day, isn't it?

You know, I actually don't think

we're going to have time for breakfast.

What? What do you mean?

PHONE BUZZES

CLEARS THROAT Is that Daryl's phone?

I thought his mum was dead.

PHONE CONTINUES BUZZING

Hello?

PHONE CLATTERS UPBEAT MUSIC

Ah, right.

Right, let's go.

Huh? I've got to get into town.

It's gonna be bedlam in there.

I was just saying it to Shiv.

We want to get in there early.

Oh, but I thought we were gonna...?

Oh, don't worry.

We'll go somewhere nice for lunch.

Oh. See you later, Shiv.

Yeah. See ya.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES AGAIN

(RORY) I'm going for a run.

I thought we were going to talk?

About what? You've clearly made your mind up already.

You're going back to live with your baby daddy

to play happy families. Ah.

Are they a bit small?

No, they just shrunk in the wash.

He has a spare apartment,

which he's offering to us both for free.

We have somewhere to live for free.

With your mother!

So? So, that is not...

I can't do this any more, Rory.

It's driving me crazy.

Oh, I'm sorry, Caroline.

I'm sorry that my mother and I

are driving you crazy with our love

and our care and our support.

It's easier for you.

Are you serious?

Do you honestly think it's easier for me

raising another man's child?

No, no, that... that's not what I meant.

I have done everything for you.

I took you back after you cheated on me.

I, I stood by you when you got pregnant by some absolute dick.

And, and I, and I found us somewhere to live for free.

And I've saved every penny I can

just so I can buy a house for our family.

And... and this is how you repay me.

I was trying to help.

Look, why can't you for once in your life

just be a little bit grateful? ZIPPING JACKET

I was just passing. You're not fighting?

MELANCHOLIC MUSIC No.

Are they a bit small?

They're fine.

Hey, Ant. Just wanted to say cheers for last night.

I think I had one too many pints after work

and it went to my head.

Yeah, thanks for taking the trouble, see you around.

See you around? What the fuck?

Okay. I get that you're angry, but it's not appropriate for...

Thanks for taking the trouble? It's like I helped him out

with a mortgage application.

Ant. He could barely stand.

He was sick all over himself.

I watched him for ages to make sure he wouldn't choke.

That was really decent of you.

So, why is he behaving like such a dick?

I really can't talk about my brother, Ant.

But I need to talk about him.

Then I can't be your therapist any more.

I'm sorry, Ant, but...

I should probably refer you to someone else.

We were in love and now he's acting like he barely knows me.

Do you want that referral?

No. Fuck that. I'm done.

Therapy sucks.

DOOR SLAMS

PHONE RINGING

SIGHS

ZIPPING

PHONE BUZZES

DOOR OPENS

What's going on?

Eddie locked himself in the office last night.

Oh, my God.

Oh, happens all the time after a firing.

Eventually they get hungry and have to come out.

All set for the viewing later?

Yeah.

PHONE RINGING

Hi, Shiv. Hey.

How was last night?

Weird. Is that why you're calling?

Oh, no, uh, no. No.

I just, um...

I was wondering, what do you know about Daryl's family?

Shiv, I'm at work. Yeah, I know.

Has he told you anything?

About what?

Anything. His background, his parents.

Just what he's told everyone.

That his adoptive parents are dead,

and that his only brother lives in Melbourne.

Perth. What?

WHIMSICAL MUSIC

His only brother lives in Perth.

No, it's Melbourne, he definitely told me Melbourne.

Well, he definitely told me Perth.

Who gives a shit, Shiv? I'm at work.

Were you drinking last night or something?

You're acting weird. No, no.

I'm just curious. That's all.

Well, I have a job

and a life, and I can't be dealing with

your bullshit right now. So, goodbye.

Well?

I told her.

Good.

She didn't take it well.

Actually...

she was pretty upset.

She'll get over it.

You were honest, that's what matters.

I'll put back on the ring.

Yeah, I... I'm just wondering if maybe we should...

wait, regarding the ring. Wait?

Uh, uh, give Bernie some time to, uh, digest.

You know, I just don't think we should be flaunting

the ring around her while she's, you know,

it's been a shock, you know.

She's had a lot of shocks recently,

you know, losing the house, finding Daryl.

And I just think maybe we should keep...

the ring...

in its box...

for a bit, until we have her full blessing, you know.

SMASHING

Mina, please! I've just been to Ikea!

I'm not your secret mistress, Tom!

Of course not! You're my fianc�e.

I will not stay hidden.

No, I, I don't want you to stay hidden.

I just want the ring to be hidden for a week or two.

No! SMASHING, DOOR BELL RINGS

Just... just hold on a minute, okay?

And don't break anything else.

SMASHING

Caroline, what are you doing here?

Can we come in?

Uh, well, um...

SMASHING

Eh, it's just things have been a bit difficult

at Rory's mother's and with Rory, so...

I'm sorry, love, it's not a great time.

Oh. Yeah.

Maybe you could come back later. Yeah?

Okay. Sure.

MELANCHOLIC MUSIC

SEAGULLS CRYING BABY FUSSING

I wouldn't bother.

She doesn't even sleep here any more.

TRAFFIC HUMMING

KEYS JANGLING

DOOR SQUEAKING

Hello?

Karen?

KAREN: Oh.

DOOR OPENS

GASPS Oh, my God!

GROANS Karen!

Oh.

Right, I've stripped the gaff,

now I'm gonna strip you,

you sexy little... GASPS

Ah, for fuck's sake.

I told you not to leave the front door open.

Anyone could walk in.

I'm so sorry.

You must be Shiv. I'm Gav.

That's Gav? You said he let himself go.

Ah... you didn't know him in his prime.

Anyway, where were you last night?

I was at the... Hello?

Caroline?

Can someone fucking untie me, please?

Is this a bad time?

I've been trying to reach you all morning.

We need to talk.

Why?

I think Daryl's been lying.

There's like two photos on his Facebook,

he doesn't have Insta,

and he's never posted a word.

You didn't think that was weird?

I thought he had a healthy relationship with social media.

Did you not even Google him?

Did you Google him?

I Googled him.

His real name is not Daryl. What?

It's David.

I did an image search.

Mm, I love it when you take charge. Come on.

DOOR CLOSES David Johnson.

KEYBOARD TAPPING Oh, my God, that's Daryl!

He's got a whole other profile.

It... it's got a school, Rockbrook High,

names of his parents. GASPS

What? What is it?

His mother won a gardening award.

It's dated three weeks ago.

She's definitely not dead. I knew it.

I knew he was a fraud. This doesn't make sense.

It makes perfect sense.

Why would he lie about his name?

Why would he lie about his parents being dead?

Why would he lie about his brother living in Perth?

Fuck's sake. I trusted him.

How could I have been so stupid?

He's a con artist, Shiv.

He's been using a fake identity to cover his tracks.

This is clearly how he makes his living.

This is gonna break Mum's heart.

Do you know she's been bringing him to the old house?

What? Our old house?

What are we gonna do?

BABY SNORING LIGHTLY

Hey, can I ask a favour?

Is there any chance me and the baby could...

BANGING, GROANING

Never mind.

PEOPLE CHATTERING (ANT) Lovely to meet you both,

and please do follow up with any questions or queries, alright?

Hi.

How soon is this available?

Oh, immediately.

As long as the credit check's clear.

I sent everything through this morning.

We can pay six months in advance.

Oh, well, that's not necessary.

We've made 12 offers this month, all rejected.

My wife is worried we'll be sleeping in the car.

Uh, well... well, you were the first here. So...

first come first served, in my book.

UPBEAT MUSIC Take care.

Wow, you finished already? Yeah.

Done and dusted. Looks like it was buzzing.

Already got a taker. Great!

It's not them, right? Huh?

Ant, this landlord has, like, ten big properties.

His business is really important.

They offered six months in advance.

Just tell them it's taken.

But it's not taken.

Let's get him a nice Irish family.

Oh, look, I'm not being...

but they're from a different culture.

Okay?

They use a lot of oils, a lot of spices.

Spices?

Monosodium glutamate... or whatever.

Those smells get into furniture and are really hard to get out.

But that literally has no smell.

Don't be an ejaculation, Ant.

The landlord has specifically requested appropriate tenants.

So, do your fucking job and find some.

FOOTSTEPS RECEDING

Oh.

Oh, my God, this place is amazing.

Yeah, it's got everything you want.

TV, hot water,

I put some cold beers in the fridge.

Well, I'm...I'm still breastfeeding, so...

Sweet.

You're sure it's okay for us to stay?

Totally, like it's just sitting here.

SIGHS Do you mind if I put him down?

He's really tired.

Got him a little cot.

Thanks, Shane.

Mind if I turn on the telly? The match is about to start.

Of course not. Nice one.

JAUNTY MUSIC

Eddie...

You okay?

DOOR UNLOCKS

DOOR LOCKS AGAIN

GLUGGING

SIGHS LOUDLY

She's played a blinder, bro.

Outmanoeuvred me.

You know, I built this place.

Bare hands, pretty much.

Now she's got some pretty boy diversity hire to manage

the place for her.

Give it a more...

contemporary feel.

I'm history, I'm toast.

King...

SIGHS without a kingdom.

WHISPERS LOUDLY: Vicky's a racist.

What? She told me not to rent

one of our properties to a foreign family.

She said she wanted only Irish.

She said Irish?

But she said they're from a different culture.

That they'd use spices.

You little fucking beauty. Sorry?

I can use this with SCIAN for leverage.

Little miss blonde bombshell's a big fat racist.

How's that for a contemporary feel?

This is fucking gold.

So, I should just ignore her?

Of course you should ignore her.

They said they'd have to sleep in their car.

That's fucking disgusting.

You rent them this apartment, bro.

No bigots...

in the Appleby empire.

Great. Thank you.

No, wait.

this is a Lenehan property.

Major landlord on the south side.

Lovely guy to deal with, does not like foreigners.

Very open about that. What?

You're gonna have to rent this one to an Irish family.

But you just said...

Let's have one ready for when I'm back in the throne, yeah.

UPBEAT MUSIC

Keep it clean. Keep it Irish.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I've got some racists to report.

SIGHS

MUSIC SOFTENS

Shh, shh, shh, shh...

Wha... what are you doing?

Oh, waiting for you.

To do what?

Well, I thought that was the deal.

You get to stay here for free.

We get a...

no strings attached like,

'cause you already got what you wanted.

SLURPING CAR DOOR SLAMS

What's the problem?

It's a win-win!

BOOT SLAMS CAR DOOR OPENS

TRAFFIC HUMMING

DOG BARKING DISTANTLY

SIGHS

(JACK) Shiv!

QUIETLY: Jesus. What the fuck?

You left me buck naked in the classroom.

I'm sorry. I had to...

Why aren't you answering my calls?

There's been kind of an emergency.

I... I actually... No.

We're gonna talk about last night.

CLEARS THROAT

I really didn't mean for you to pay for all this.

Don't be silly, I said I'll treat you.

It's only taken me 40 odd years. LAUGHS

Anyway, you got a discount on that

because all the sales assistants were in love with you.

LAUGHS No, they weren't.

Yes, they were, Mr Charmer,

can bring you anywhere.

Oh, my God.

What? What is it?

Finbar.

Who's Finbar?

A dickhead.

Were you drinking last night?

What? No. Jesus. You know I wasn't.

I didn't think you were. I just... needed to check.

It was fucking amazing...

wasn't it? Um...

We were both so fucking connected.

We were just... there .

SIREN BLARES DISTANTLY

So, why'd you run off this morning?

CLEARS THROAT Look, Jack...

it was a spur of the moment thing

and, um... sorry if...

maybe I gave you the... the wrong...

Stop bullshitting me, Shiv.

CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY

You came because you wanted to,

you've wanted it for a long time.

And so have I.

Well... I'm gonna be honest.

I've been really fucking angry with you.

You've been angry with me?

It's why I've been the way I've been.

At the college, with the students.

About what?

The way you treated me last year.

Showing up to my van, saying you want to be friends,

and then turning around saying you want more,

and then telling me, I... I don't deserve my daughter.

You fucked your ex!

We can get into the whole who did what to who.

Jesus Christ, Jack.

I'm trying to tell the truth here.

I've been angry. SCOFFS

And I've been petty.

But last night you did something brave.

You stopped playing games. You were you.

And I want you.

SIRENS BLARING DISTANTLY

PHONE BUZZES

Uh...

I need to...

Are you fucking serious?

One sec, okay? SIGHS

KAREN: Heya, Shiv. Gav's found some more stuff online

about Daryl or David's vineyard.

It closed down last year 'cause of some money trouble.

I've sent on the info, but you need to find your ma.

SIGHS You okay?

I have to go. What?

I'm pouring my heart out here.

Call you tomorrow. Promise.

Shiv! EXASPERATED SIGH

BERNIE: A relationship with an oppressive lying woman

led Finbar Flaherty to reflect on Irish history

and his own internal war of independence.

What the fuck?

Is it all clear?

Here. What are you doing?

MARKER PEN SQUEAKING

GASPS A dick for a dickhead.

LAUGHS

Here, your turn.

LIGHT MUSIC

Go on.

DARYL LAUGHS

LAUGHS Oh, shit.

Couple of pubes...

Oh, shit. Shit, shit. Oh, Jesus.

Mum, let's go.

Oh, God. Oh... oh.

Oh, my God. Fuck.

A few less royalties in his pocket.

I can't believe we just did that.

Sorry.

Am I a bad influence? Ah.

You're not a bad influence.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

PANTING

You know I'm gonna have to go home soon.

What? Why?

I never meant to stay this long.

Being here...

spending time with you...

I never thought I'd have that.

Also, I'm in a tight spot financially.

My business is...

I can give you money. No, listen,

I don't want you to... I have money.

Yeah, but that's... You don't have to explain.

I'm your mother. How much do you need?

? Take it easy on the road ?

? I'm right beside you ?

? When you touched my knee ?

? I nearly died ?

? Did it happen overnight? ?

? Did it happen at all? ?

? Can't hear nothing ?

? Just hear blue lights... ? Hi, it's Caroline.

You know what to do. BEEP

Hi, love. Uh, sorry about earlier.

Strange old day.

Uh, just calling to make sure you're okay.

SUITCASE TRUNDLING DRAMATIC MUSIC

? I'll just go home out west ?

? Something familiar ?

? I was giving you all my best ?

? But I can't any longer ?

BABY FUSSING Shh, shh, shh, shh. It's okay.

? I can't keep acting like this ?

? I can't keep acting like this ?

? Don't make me choose ?

? When I can't have you ?

Mum, you in there?

WINDOW OPENS She's never in there.

WINDOW CLOSES Oh, Christ.

Mum, I need you to call me.

It's... it's urgent. I'm at your house.

Daryl's been lying. He's not who we think he is.

He's not... just call me, okay?

He's not your son.

? "Take It Easy" by Niamh Regan

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