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UPBEAT MUSIC
PEOPLE CHATTERING
SHIV CLEARS HER THROAT
Hi, sorry. Do you want to order anything else?
Oh, sorry.
I... I... I'm supposed to be meeting my mother
and... brother, but I...
I don't think they're coming.
RAZOR BUZZING
PHONE PINGS
RAZOR SWITCHES OFF
FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING RAPIDLY
Ant...
what do you think?
What's that?
I'm gonna ask Mina to marry me.
What?
You don't think she'll say yes?
What is wrong with you and Mum these days?
We literally just found out she has another kid,
and now you're off marrying your mistress.
Well, she's not my mistress.
We haven't been intimate for...
Oh, now I'm thinking about you having sex.
Thanks for that.
I know it seems sudden,
but I'm at a point in my life, Ant,
where, uh, I don't have time for messing around any more.
Mina's important to me,
been important to me for a long time.
And I want her to know how much.
So, am I gonna have to move out now?
No, no, no.
Had you moved in?
Did you pick this out yourself?
Yeah.
You like it?
I'd have gone for something simpler.
White gold maybe.
But...
not bad for a straight guy.
LAUGHS
I just have to figure out when to do it.
Mina's free this afternoon,
but, eh, I really should open the kiosk
and I don't know when she's free next.
I could open up the kiosk.
What about work? I'll pull a sickie.
I thought this new woman wants to promote you.
Yeah, but it's complicated. Ant.
Do you want to propose to Mina or not?
Wow. You look great.
Very different.
Thanks.
Are you sure it's not too soon?
This is what I've been working towards. Consultant.
Well, yeah, but you don't have to go for it now.
Well, I kind of do 'cause we need the money now
if we wanna buy a house. Don't want to live here forever.
Anyway, I got to go.
I thought it wasn't until two.
Yeah, no, I... I just have some stuff to do first.
You can always leave little Peter with me.
I'm not doing anything.
Thanks, but my mum's gonna take him.
She hasn't got to spend much time with him yet.
Let's hope she doesn't put him up for adoption.
SCOFFS I'm only joking.
JAUNTY MUSIC
PHONE RINGS
There you are. DARYL: Hi Shiv. Just saw your text.
What happened to you guys? What do you mean?
We're just outside Ag and Rita's.
Ag and Rita's?
Oh, shit.
We weren't meant to be meeting you, were we?
Yeah. Yeah, we were supposed to have breakfast,
like, an hour ago.
Oh, sorry mate.
No, it's fine. I was just...
you know, waiting and I... I text you both.
Yeah, we, we weren't checking our phones.
No, we were too busy gossiping.
SIGHS Right.
Why don't we do it tomorrow instead?
All three of us, we can do a proper catch up.
Sure. CLEARS THROAT
Although, you know, you guys have been
hanging out all week, so like, Mum,
if you wanted to skip it and just leave me and Daryl to...
No, it'll be fun. Breakfast tomorrow.
Booked.
Great. SOFT MUSIC
Oh, there's Ag now. Morning!
Sorry Shiv, Ag's here with a cake.
BERNIE: She's made a Victoria sponge, oh, God.
She's a terrible cook.
DARYL: Sorry Shiv, I'll call you later, yeah?
Yeah. Well, that would be... PHONE CALL DROPS
Yeah.
BIRDS TWITTERING
Here we are. Ta.
Specially baked for our special guest.
Oh, you didn't have to go to any trouble.
Oh no, we're just so happy to finally meet you.
Your father was a very attractive man.
Oh, you met him then?
Once or twice.
I didn't frequent the kind of establishments
your mother did.
Right. And what... what kind were they?
Well, Bernie was a...a bit wild.
What? No, I wasn't.
Ah, you were, Bernie.
Skirts smaller than a nun's napkin,
that's what the neighbours used to say.
Wow. Sounds like...
quite a firecracker.
One word for it.
BERNIE SCOFFS
Hmm.
Is that why you guys didn't go see her?
Didn't go see her?
Yeah. Down in Wexford,
when she was alone... and pregnant.
Is that why you guys just left her there?
Cause her... her skirt was too short?
We didn't leave her anywhere.
Oh... sorry.
I thought you said that no one visited.
That is absolutely not true.
But you didn't visit.
You didn't even write.
Our parents were very upstanding in the community.
So? So, it was a scandal.
Our mother was... A hypocrite
who hid gin under her bed.
Bernie, that's a terrible thing to say.
Well, is it not true?
It was a different time, Daryl.
Ireland was a very different place.
Oh, for God's sake, Rita.
It wasn't the dark ages.
It was the 1980s.
we had perms and contraception.
Well, you might have thought to use it.
You were my sisters.
We were teenagers, Bernie.
Ah, you were cowards, come on. Let... let's call a spade a spade.
Yeah? I don't like your tone.
Well, I don't like your chin hair,
but I have to look at it, don't I?
I don't have... chin hair?
It looks like a fucking cactus from where I'm sitting.
EXHALES
SIREN BLARING DISTANTLY
Is that it?
That's the baby. Yes.
BABY GURGLING
He doesn't even look like me.
Well, he's definitely yours.
No, I'm not, like, accusing you or anything,
but guys get stung all the time for shit like this, so...
Firstly, I'm not trying to sting anyone.
And secondly, if you want to do a blood test,
be my guest. It's all the rage.
What's his name?
Uh, well, well, it was Peter.
Used to work with a Peter, he was a sap.
Yeah, we're probably changing it anyways, so...
PHONE RINGS Sorry. One sec.
Uh, we have to leave in a minute.
Hi, Mum, where can I meet you?
Oh, hi, love.
I'm not gonna be able to look after the baby today.
What? Why?
Open the door!
Yeah, look, you don't have chin whiskers.
I... I think it was just the light.
Something's come up. A bit of drama.
I'll call you later. Yeah, but I'm supposed
to be there... PHONE CALL DROPS
Fuck.
Cootchie-coo. Cootchie-cootchie-coo.
BABY BABBLES
UP TEMPO MUSIC COFFEE MACHINE GRINDING
Shit. One second.
COFFEE MACHINE WHIRRING
Aah...
STEAM HISSING
I ordered a latte.
It's a cortado. They're cooler.
Oh.
BIRDS TWITTERING
It's beautiful here.
CORK POPS Ah.
Well...
special occasion.
There's something I want to ask.
We're not doing it here, Tom.
My knees can't take it.
No! That's not...
Tom.
Mina...
I'm a flawed man. Yes.
I've got certain things in my life very wrong.
I know. But not you.
None of us knows how long we really have.
My family have excellent longevity.
Good.
'Cause, em...
I want to spend as long as possible with you.
Mina... ROMANTIC MUSIC
will you marry me?
Of course I will.
SIGHS
Here.
I love you, Mina.
I love you too.
How did Bernie take the news?
Huh? You have told her?
Eh, not yet. No.
Eh, why not? Uh, well,
I wanted to ask you first.
And you think she's just going to let this happen?
Bernie and I aren't together any more.
You live on the same street.
That woman has a hold on you, Tom.
She always has. No!
I'm not sharing you with her again.
But Bernie and I are divorced. Only on paper.
Until you tell her, I will not accept.
MELANCHOLIC MUSIC
Arh! RING CLINKS
CROW CAWING
Hi. KEYBOARD CLACKS
Had a text from Bernie.
She's really happy your half-brother reconnected.
Yeah, it's great.
And she said it's like getting back a piece of herself
she didn't even know was missing.
I have actually a lot of work to do, so.
Can I have my jacket back?
Sorry, by the way. Sorry?
If you were upset the other day.
If I was upset?
Maybe some of the things I said
in front of the students weren't...
but... (laughs) you did sneak into my class.
So, in a way, if anyone owes anyone an apology,
it's probably you.
Here's your jacket.
You're welcome.
You know, I actually kind of preferred you without it.
You looked hot.
It reminded me of the old days when we used to...
Yeah...
tell Dearbhla I'll lock up tonight.
I'm working late. SOFT MUSIC
PHONE BUZZES
CHUCKLES UPBEAT MUSIC
SIGHS
Thank you for coming in,
especially as you're only a few weeks post-partum.
A month. Nearly a month.
But I'm ready.
Dr Sheridan is one of our finest registrars.
Her attention to detail is second to none.
Hmm. As you are aware, the demand in our department
has doubled in the last 10 years.
Yes. Yes, very aware.
And we are now a referral centre
for patients with neurosurgical injuries.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Uh, many of whom require orthopaedic input
in a polytrauma setting.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Uh, Dr Sheridan?
Jesus fucking Christ,
that sounds like a lot of responsibility,
which is exactly what I expected.
We need someone reliable who remains calm under pressure.
And that's me. This is what I've been working towards
my entire career. I'm experienced. I'm capable.
I'm not afraid of hard work.
And you're sure being away from home
isn't too much of a sacrifice?
No, God, I'm desperate to get away. Uh, from her.
Who? My mother-in-law.
We live with her, my boyfriend and I.
He won't move out.
He's not the baby's biological father.
It, it, it's complicated. DR DAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
I barely get a second with the baby anyway.
And until we get her own place, she's gonna be there
watching and nitpicking,
feeding him formula and ignoring the fact
that I'm his actual birth mother and should have a say.
But because my own family are so totally fucking messed up,
they never help. Just leave me to flounder.
So, she has me over a barrel, bare arsed to the wind
and there's nothing I can do about it
because I'm completely and utterly trapped.
But, yeah, I'm...
I'm really excited about the position.
PEOPLE CHATTERING
UPBEAT BACKGROUND MUSIC PLAYING
Shit.
MUSIC STOPS So, this is the flu.
I'm so sorry. Look, I'm just helping my dad out.
He had a heart attack.
Oh, God, you do have daddy issues.
Look, I know you didn't want to see Eddie get fired today.
But making difficult decisions is what separates
the generals from the genitals.
I didn't think you were a genital.
I'm not a... a genital.
So, are you just afraid of success?
I see real potential in you, Ant.
And I want to teach you everything I know,
but you have to trust me.
It's you and me, Ant...
forever.
Let's make Appleby's great again.
Hmm...
Mm-hmm.
Is he okay?
Oh, yeah. Sorry for the text.
Uh, looked it up online. I think he just had wind.
Oh. How'd your interview thingy go?
Oh, shit, actually, but... never mind.
SIGHS Thanks for taking him.
No worries. You know, he's actually pretty sound.
BABY CRYING Okay, well.
Em, can I see him again?
Eh... Oh, and if you're looking
for a gaff, like,
there's always my spare place in Ringsend.
Don't have a tenant now, so you can have it for free
if that's, like, of interest.
Oh, I swear to God, it took us an hour to coax her out.
Poor Bernie.
Poor Bernie? Uh, sounds like
she went over there looking for a fight.
No. Come on, you can cut her a bit of slack.
Why? It never pays off.
No, um, there are some things about Bernie
you don't know, okay.
Yeah. That's the problem.
That's why we're all so fucked up.
Little old to be blaming your mum for all your issues,
don't you think?
Wow. You're really getting sucked in.
No, I think she's fun.
Fun? Yeah.
In what way?
Okay, em...
hmm.
Well, we, um... CHUCKLES
we snuck into your old house last week
and had dinner. What?
Don't you dare tell her I told you though.
That's breaking and entering.
No, there, there was no one there.
Yeah, no, she just wanted to show me the place.
Oh, my gosh, Daryl, that is so fucked up.
No, it was actually kind of fabulous.
Yeah. I, I really like hanging out with her.
She knows how to have a good time.
What does that mean?
Er, look, you...
you said you didn't want to be involved with me and Bernie.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, but you can't trust her, Daryl.
You c...
she, she will always let you down. I've told you.
Oh. Can you give it a rest, Shiv?
I've only just found my birth mother, okay.
I want to be able to like her.
Um...
Listen, I actually, uh, I, I have to go
'cause, uh, I'm catching up with Ant.
Ant?
Yeah, we're going clubbing
or whatever the kids are doing these days.
Clubbing. Right.
Oh, I didn't think it would be your thing.
What? Having fun?
Uh, come if you want. Yeah?
Yeah, definitely.
If you think you'll enjoy it. Yeah.
MELANCHOLIC MUSIC
PEOPLE CHATTERING
You okay? Yeah. Fine.
Yeah. Let's just... get on with this.
I mean, it's a shit show, obviously.
You got to walk through that door
and admit you have a problem, and that's fucking awful.
Then you've got to find your humility
and feel all the feelings you were trying to numb
with vodka or whiskey or whatever you have.
And that's when you need to be careful.
Sorry. CHAIR CLATTERS
Everything alright? I... I need to go.
Well, who's gonna be chair?
DOOR SQUEAKS, CREAKS
TRAFFIC HUMMING
DANCE MUSIC PLAYING DISTANTLY
DANCE MUSIC INTENSIFIES
Woo! Woo!
We go again? Easy, tiger.
LAUGHS
You okay? Yeah. Of course.
I was just going to yours.
I was just coming to yours.
I've got wine.
You know, it's just the way they kept denying
and denying it.
WINE POURING
I never thought I'd say this about my own flesh and blood,
but...
bitches.
Thank God for you, Tom.
You were the only one who was there for me.
Ah, well. I might have had an ulterior motive.
You've always been there for me.
Listen, Bernie...
there's something... I think we've made a mistake.
A mistake?
We should never have got divorced.
What do you mean? I think it's been the biggest
mistake of my life.
I've just asked Mina to marry me.
DANCE MUSIC PLAYING DARYL, ANT LAUGHING
PEOPLE WHOOPING, HAVING FUN
SIGHING
He's grand. He's gone back to sleep.
Oh, you smell nice.
WHISPERS: You looked sexy for your interview today.
Do you think it's too soon?
I went to see Shane today.
Who's Shane? Hot consultant?
Shane... the baby's...
Why would you do that?
DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES
CHATTING INDISTINCTLY
Give me a second.
Max. Ant, hey.
Are you okay?
Yeah, man, I'm fucking amazing.
Who you here with?
I don't know. Friends.
Ah, come on.
DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES
VOMITING
ANT: Listen, I'm so sorry...
Shit, Max. I'm cool, man.
I'm cool.
What's the code?
I'm... I'm all good. Seriously.
Mm-hmm.
GRUNTING
I miss you. What?
Oh, I left it in the taxi. What?
Oh. Where's my wallet? I lost my wallet.
No, you haven't. I left it in the taxi.
You haven't.
It's here. See? Here.
SOFT MUSIC
? Running round our old city ?
? You act like a stranger ?
? Hiding your love ?
? Lying out in the driveway ?
? With dirt on my clothes ?
? 'Cause no one else knows ?
Rory, can we talk?
? I'll stay singing with your friends ?
? The lights come on, the music ends ?
? They throw us out into the cold ?
? It's the dead of winter ?
? Chase me down and grab my hand ?
? Tell me I don't understand ?
? Lead you out onto the ice ?
? Just to watch it splinter ?
? Just to watch it splinter ?
INHALES LOUDLY
CRYING ? Just to watch it splinter ?
? Just to watch it splinter ?
? We'll never get to sleep now, honey ?
? Coming down from love is steep now, honey ?
SIREN BLARING DISTANTLY
Hello, Shiv.
What are you doing here?
SIGHS
Have you been...
? I will stay singing with your friends ?
? The lights come on, the music ends ?
? They throw us out into the cold ?
? It's the dead of winter ?
? Chase me down and grab my hand ?
? Tell me I don't understand ?
? Lead you out onto the ice ?
? Just to watch it splinter ?
? "Driveway" by Sorcha Richardson
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